[ Christian ] Ya' know what, Trish? I don't know how.. And I don't know why.. But putting Vampiro on ice so easily has made me take a closer look at myself and my position here in Solid Gold Wrestling.....
-[[ Trish's own smile fades a bit as confusion overwhelms her. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] What do you mean?
-[[ Tomko and Cornette are closely listening as well. ]]-
[ Christian ] Well.. It made me realize how STUPID I was being when I blew my top on Jeff earlier..
[ Trish Stratus ] Stupid? But he's screwing you out of your title shot.. He had that coming and you know it!!
-[[ Christian shakes his head, looking straight forward as he speaks. ]]-
[ Christian ] No, Trish... See... Why am I getting my underwear in a twist over not getting that tournament title shot.. When it's obvious.. That after how easily I beat Vampiro tonight, I've got a world title shot coming soon anyway... You can't DENY what I did tonight wasn't world championship material!!
-[[ Trish clears her throat. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] What YOU did tonight?
-[[ Christian stops in his tracks and looks at her.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Yeah.. What I did.. I gave him the Unprettier and won the match..
-[[ Trish scoffs. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] I pinned him after the Chick Kick!!
-[[ Christian leans down right in her face with a "Didn't you know?" look on his face. ]]-
[ Christian ] .....AFTER.. I hit him with the Unprettier.
-[[ Christian stands back up straight, putting his hands on his hips as he continues walking with a smug look on his face.. Jim Cornette is the first to speak after this revelation that Christian practically won the match by himself. ]]-
[ Jim Cornette ] You won the match, she won the match, it don't matter which one o'ya'll won the match because the end result was the same and by end result, I do mean Vampiro's shoulders were on the mat for that three count, but what I'm wantin' to know, Christian, what I'm wantin' to know right now, right now at this very second is just where in the blue FUCK do ya' think you're takin' us right now, can ya' tell me that!?
[ Tyson Tomko ] Decaf.
-[[ Tomko's response is ignored by Christian.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Well, now that I realize what an ass I was being earlier tonight.. I thought we might stop by Jeff's office and apologize.. It doesn't make any sense for us to flush our friendship down the toilet over something as stupid as a Pick Your Title Tournament shot....
-[[ They all stop in front of a door... Christian takes a deep breath... Trish rolls her eyes. ]]-
[ Christian ] We're here....
-[[ Christian opens the door without knocking and walks in.. The Coaliation follows him in and inside the office, Jeff Jarrett sits behind his desk.. Ron and Don Harris stand on each side of him, Melina sits in a chair off to the side of the desk, and Vince Russo is standing in front of the desk, talking to a woman that none of them find familiar.. Jarrett stands up behind the desk, eyeballing Christian.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Christian.. Trish... Tomko.. Cornette..... What can I do for ya'?
-[[ Jarrett obviously expected something like this.. Both Harris Brothers begin cracking their knuckles like they're ready to start swinging at any second... Christian quickly answers to avoid confrontation.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Jeff.. I just wanted to let ya' know.. That I'm sorry about earlier tonight.. I was out of line and.. I guess I was just so angry that those Team Canada losers were getting so much television time that I couldn't control my emotions out there..... I just wanted you to know.. Title shot or no title shot.. No hard feelings..
-[[ Jarrett smiles.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I'm glad to hear that Christian.... No hard feelin's...
-[[ Jarrett then turns to the unrecognizable woman in the room that Russo is observing.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] By the way, Christian.. Have ya' met our newest acquisition?
-[[ Christian looks around the room.. ]]-
[ Christian ] I don't see any new guys..
-[[ Russo laughs. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] It ain't no guy, bay-bee.. It definitely ain't no fuckin' GUY!!
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Christian, say hello to one o'the hottest acts on the indy circuit... "Super Model" Amy Love!!
-[[ The girl turns around, flaunting her body for Christian to see.. Christian looks confused.. Trish, disgusted.. ]]-
[ Christian ] So.. Who's she managing, Jeff? Some new guy?
[ Jeff Jarrett ] She ain't managin' nobody.. She's makin' Solid Gold Wrestlin' history, kid.. She's the first woman to ever wrestle in Solid Gold without a man attached to'er hip... She's breakin' new ground.. And she's makin' her grand debut at Six-String Supremacy!!
-[[ Christian shakes his head... And then blows his top. ]]-
[ Christian ] Jeff.. Jeff... Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies.. Really, I do... BUT THEY DON'T BELONG.. IN A WRESTLING RING!!
-[[ Christian then looks over at Trish and her gaze nearly cuts him in two.. He knows.. He's fucked up.. Jim Cornette pushes ahead of them and saves his ass for the time being. ]]-
[ Jim Cornette ] He's right, Jeff, he's god damn good and well right and you know it and by God, you should know it better than anybody else, my oh my, Arn Anderson is gonna be turnin' over in his god damn grave because you've gone and done the stupidest thing I reckon I have ever heard in my whole god damn life, oh Christ, signin' a woman to wrestle on a man's show, Jeff, it ain't right, it ain't American, and everybody knows, from the staff to the boys in the back to the god damn fans, it's SGDUBYA SUPERSTARS... NOT SGW SUPER..... GIRLS!!
-[[ Cornette bobs his head like a sassy black woman as he drops that on them. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Jim...
-[[ But before Jarrett can continue, the door swings open again and Ken Kennedy, the Big Show, and Lollipop storm into the room.. Ken Kennedy is practically foaming at the mouth as he enters and slams both hands down on Jarrett's desk. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Did I, Ken Kennedy, just overhear someone loudly..... AND PROUDLY... Proclaiming that a women's division was on the verge of being instated within the walls of Solid Gold Wrestling!? Please, Jeff, and be honest.. For am I begging.......... AND PLEADING with you.. Tell me.. It's not true!!
-[[ Jarrett opens his mouth to answer, but Kennedy cuts him off. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] ...........NOT TRUE!!
-[[ Jarrett clears his throat. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Believe it, Kennedy.. 'Cause the contract has been signed.. Got a problem, blame Russo..
-[[ Russo shrugs. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] It's more tits.
-[[ Kennedy scoffs now.. Looking like he's prepared to vomit.. Christian runs up next to Kennedy and begins speaking. ]]-
[ Christian ] This is ridiculous, Jeff!! How can you do this!? First, it's women.. Next week, you're letting little kids in the ring.. And the week after that, it's wild animals... Where does it stop!? BAMBI AS THE FIRST ANIMAL WORLD CHAMPION!? GOD!!
-[[ Christian throws his hands up in submission.. His good mood is ruined... Kurt Angle casually walks into the room, already wearing a mask of disbelief..... Kurt walks right up the desk, looking at Amy and then quickly back at Jeff.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] I hear their periods can attract bears, Jeff.. THEY CAN SMELL THE FREAKIN' MENSTRUATION!!
-[[ Christian turns to Jeff, dead serious. ]]-
[ Christian ] Did you hear that, Jeff? Bears. You're putting the entire promotion in danger now. Happy?
-[[ Amy has had enough of this abuse. ]]-
[ Amy Love ] You guys are blowing this way out of proportion!!
-[[ Kennedy turns and jams a finger in her face. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] You have a filthy..... AND WHORISH.. Mouth.. Shut it quickly and politely for we all are sure to become dumber for having listened to the slutty words that EXIT it... A woman's place in wrestling is standing quietly.. AND LOOKING PRETTY!!!! Beside.. HER MAN!!
-[[ Obviously, she looks offended.. Christian has had enough. ]]-
[ Christian ] Screw it, Jeff.. Do what you want.. But do it without me.. First the title shot.. And now THIS.. I'm out.. I.. Quit.. Yeah... You heard me.. I quit.. I'm not going to be at Six-String Supremacy.. Or any other show for that matter..
-[[ The entire Coalition looks on in shock.... Christian nods, confirming the decision and storms out the door.. They reluctantly follow him out.... Even Jarrett looks surprised.. And then Kennedy speaks up. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] I apologize, Jeff, but if this is the future you're aiming for, I'm out as well..
-[[ Jarrett sighs. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Well.. If that's what ya' want.. You and Show can leave your tag titles at the door.
-[[ Kennedy reconsiders. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Okay, okay.. I'm back in.
-[[ The camera quickly follows Christian and the Coalition out the door and into the parking lot.. They storm past two figures standing against the wall and Christian stops and does a double take.. Realizing that it's Edge fucking Stacy Keibler up against the wall... Jim Cornette nearly has a heart attack. ]]-
[ Jim Cornette ] Oh my holy God, look, Tomko, he's fuckin' that long legged whore again!! My, oh my, when does it stop!?
-[[ Edge stops, realizes he's being watched and turns around, quickly zipping his pants back up as Stacy adjusts her skirt... Edge has a big cocky smile on his face.. Trish is disgusted.. Christian is in awe... ]]-
[ Edge ] Where you going, bro?
-[[ This sounds like the most difficult thing Christian has had to say. ]]-
[ Christian ] I'm out, Edge.. I just quit..
-[[ Edge looks on in disbelief. ]]-
[ Edge ] Why!? Over the title shot!?
[ Christian ] No.. Jeff is starting a women's division..
[ Edge ] But girls can't wrestle.
[ Christian ] Yeah, I know.
-[[ Trish stomps her foot, looking more pissed than ever now. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] I can wrestle, I beat Vampiro tonight!!
[ Edge ] No, you didn't.
-[[ He looks up at the sky.. As if what Christian said is just now dawning on him. ]]-
[ Edge ] God.. A women's division.. That's stupid.
-[[ Christian nods. ]]-
[ Christian ] I know.. I'm out.. I'll see you back at the hotel.
[ Edge ] I'll keep an eye on things around here.. I'm not leaving until I get my hands on Venis..
-[[ Christian turns and leaves with the Coalition in tow.. Seconds later, they're all piled inside their rental car and are headed back to the hotel.. Edge turns back to Stacy and sticks his tongue in her mouth... However, before they can get hot and heavy again, a voice pierces Edge's brain like an ice pick.... ]]-
[ Eric Bischoff ] Stacy, Stacy, Stacy.....
-[[ Edge turns around and finds himself face to face with Eric Bischoff... Stacy looks shocked. ]]-
[ Stacy Keibler ] E-E...Eric......
-[[ He smiles that cocky smile. ]]-
[ Eric Bischoff ] I always told Val you were no good.. Just a good time girl.. But he wouldn't have any of that.. He thought you were too good to be true... And in the end.. I guess he was right..
-[[ Edge looks furious, staring right at Bischoff. ]]-
[ Edge ] Where is he, Bischoff?
-[[ Edge pushes Stacy aside, knocking her on her ass and he grabs Bischoff by the jacket and nearly lifts him off of his feet... Bischoff surprisingly shows no fear whatsoever... ]]-
[ Edge ] I know he's here.. Because you wouldn't have the BALLS TO BE HERE IF HE WASN'T!! So, spill it... Tell me where he is.. Or I'm going to hurt you in ways that will make what Val did to Anderson look like CHILD'S PLAY!!
-[[ Bischoff's smile doesn't waiver a bit. ]]-
[ Eric Bischoff ] He's not here, Edge... But he was watching the show earlier.. And he heard your challenge...
-[[ There's a twinkle in Bischoff's eye.. ]]-
[ Eric Bischoff ] He accepts!!
-[[ Edge now smiles.. A huge, sickening shark's grin.. ]]-
[ Edge ] That's great, Bischoff.. That.. IS PERFECT... Do you know if he's watching now?
-[[ Bischoff nods. ]]-
[ Eric Bischoff ] Oh, he's watching alright....
-[[ Edge lets Bischoff down. ]]-
[ Edge ] Good.
-[[ And he punches Bischoff right in the mouth!! Bischoff staggers backward and before he can even fully comprehend what's happening to him, Edge runs at him and boots him right in the face!! Bischoff crumples to the ground and Edge jumps on him and begins punching him in the face repeatedly until Bischoff's entire face is coated in blood... Edge turns to the camera, his face is spattered with Bischoff's blood.. ]]-
[ Edge ] You like this, Val!? DO YOU!?! Was losing Stacy not enough?
-[[ Edge punches Bischoff right in the mouth, clearly busting his teeth out. ]]-
[ Edge ] You want to lose your best friend too!?
-[[ Edge stands up and begins kicking Bischoff in the face now.. Bischoff isn't even moving at all now.. Edge is just having his way with him, beating him into the ground.. There's a sound of squealing tires in the parking lot and Edge looks even more ready to fight as a LIMOUSINE DRIVES UP!! It comes to a quick halt and the back door flies open... VAL VENIS!! VAL VENIS BARGES OUT!! Venis and Edge begin brawling like crazy, punching and kicking at each other and Edge wraps his arms around Val's waist and charges with him, spearing him into the brick wall!! Venis punches away at Edge's back, but Edge is relentless, you hear him yell. ]]-
[ Edge ] Stacy.... THE CUFFS!!
-[[ THE CUFFS!? Stacy runs over and hands Edge a pair of HAND CUFFS!! He grips them like brass knucks and punches Venis right in the temple, drawing blood!! Edge hits him again and again, and Venis is brought to his knees... And Edge puts the cuffs on one hand... And cuffs Venis to a parking sign post!! Edge looks up and laughs at the sign, realizing he's handcuffed Venis to a handicapped parking sign.... Edge kicks Venis in the face for good measure... This is pathetic.. He had handcuffs because this was a planned assault!! He knew fucking Stacy outside would lure Venis out of hiding!! And the plan came together perfect!! Edge strolls over casually and drags Bischoff toward the curb... He's smiling again.. Bischoff is beaten so senseless, he doesn't even know where he is.... Venis can only watch in horror... ]]-
[ Edge ] Put your mouth on the curb...
-[[ He forces Bischoff's mouth onto the curb.. His teeth make a scraping sound.. ]]-
[ Edge ] Look what you did, Venis.. LOOK AT HIM!! Look at yourself.... I took your woman... I'm about to take your best friend..... And at Six-String Supremacy..... I'M GOING TO TAKE... YOUR...... LIFE!!!!!!!
-[[ Edge yields a childish smile. ]]-
[ Edge ] Isn't that going to be a kick in the head?
-[[ Venis screams. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] NOOOOO!!!
[ Stacy Keibler ] Edge, don't!!
-[[ SPLUNCH!! EDGE BRINGS HIS BOOT HEEL DOWN ON BISCHOFF'S HEAD!!! HE CURB STOMPED ERIC BISCHOFF!!! Edge laughs and walks closer to Venis, who is now seething with anger.... Stacy is crying over to the side, unable to look at what Edge has just done... Edge kneels down right in front of Venis... ]]-
[ Edge ] Looks like the only one getting ended this Sunday.... Is you.
Edge stands up and
kicks Venis right in the face, knocking him unconscious.. Edge grabs Stacy
and drags her away from the scene of the crime.. Bischoff lays motionless
and Venis only remains in a seated position because his cuffed arm won't
allow him to fall any further.... Good God.. What is going to happen at
Supremacy when these men meet?
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Four Way Elimination Match
Referee: Scott James
[ Eliminated: The Rock via Pin Fall ]
-[[ Austin nails Petey Williams from behind and spins him around..... KICK WHAM.. No, Petey pushes Austin away but turns right around into the RKO!! Orton covers Williams!! One!! Two!! Austin breaks the pin!! But this is elimination style!! "HE'S MINE, YA' BASTARD!!" He pulls Petey Williams up.... KICK WHAM STUNNER ON PETEY WILLIAMS!! Austin springs back up, looking pissed off..... And Austin turns around, flipping the bird...... And Randy Orton nails him with the RKO!! Austin goes motionless and then he covers Petey Williams!! One!! Two!! Three!! Petey is gone!! ]]-
[ Eliminated: Petey Williams via Pin Fall ]
-[[ Orton sees Austin laying still from the RKO..... He covers him quickly.. One!! Two!! Thre-- Austin kicked out!! Orton looks pissed.... He then drops to one knee and sizes up Austin.. Austin staggers back up and Orton goes for the RKO!! But Austin pushes Orton away, making him land flat on his back!! Orton springs back up and Austin meets him when he gets on his feet.... HE GOES FOR THE STUNNER!! Orton pushes him away.. Austin hits the ropes and bounces back at Orton.. He throws a clothesline but Orton ducks it and Austin barely misses Scott James!! Orton then throws a dropkick and Austin moves... And Orton takes out Scott James!! Austin waits for Orton to stand up...... KICK WHAM STUNNER ON RANDY ORTON!! Orton is finished.... "Cowboy" Bob rolls in the ring.. He runs and nails a double axe handle to the back of Austin's head!! Austin gets up with an "Oh hell no" look on his face.... "Cowboy" Bob tries to beg him off, but it doesn't work...... MIDDLE FINGERS!! KICK WHAM STUNNER ON "COWBOY" BOB ORTON!! Huge pop!! Austin turns around...... And takes the RKO!!!!! ]]-
Orton springs up...
Smiling... And he covers Austin...... One!! TWO!! THRE-- CHAVO GUERRERO
JUNIOR!! CHAVO GUERRERO PULLED ORTON OUT OF THE RING!! Chavo is going to
town on Orton!! He's beating him on the head and neck and the referee is
calling for the bell!! Randy Orton is taking this one by
disqualification!! Chavo slings Orton into the guardrail and follows him
in with a clothesline!! "Cowboy" Bob Orton runs up behind him with a chair
and Chavo spins around and kicks the chair back in Bob's face!! Bob veers
around from the impact...... AND WALKS INTO A STUNNER FROM STEVE AUSTIN!!
Chavo whips Orton into the ring and he goes under the bottom rope.. Orton
is trying to get away!! Chavo whips him into the turnbuckle.. Follows him
in... TORNADO DDT!! The impact sends Orton straight back up on his feet
and he staggers into........ KICK WHAM STUNNER!!! Chavo reaches out of the
ring and grabs Pepe...... AND THE TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!! Steve Austin
begins calling for beers to be thrown in the ring..... He catches two!!
Austin opens them up and bangs them together before turning and looking at
Chavo... Chavo holds up the television championship, nodding.... And
Austin toasts the belt!! Chavo and Austin celebrate over the fallen
Winner: Randy Orton via Disqualification
[ Michael Shane ] This is ridiculous, Traci.. Someone has to put a stop to this..
-[[ Traci is genuinely concerned with Shane's mood.. ]]-
[ Traci Brooks ] Michael.. Stop beating yourself up over it, you've had him beaten twice..
-[[ Shane cuts her off. ]]-
[ Michael Shane ] Beating myself up over it? I'm the only one NOT beating me up!! I had Orton beaten the first time.. And because of the Harris Brothers, I lost my chance at the television championship.. And last week.. Last week.. We had Randy AND his father beaten right in the center of the ring..... Until Vince Russo stuck his nose...
-[[ He grips the bat tighter. ]]-
[ Michael Shane ] And this.. In my business..
-[[ He shuts his eyes tight, like a sharp pain has went through his head... ]]-
[ Michael Shane ] I don't know what I did to deserve what they're doing to me, Traci... They're screwing me over.. Ruining my career... Tonight.. With the Undertaker.. That was the final straw.. Not only did they try to screw me again.. But he could've killed you with that tombstone..... And the source of my trouble here in Solid Gold Wrestling can be traced back to one man........ I must get rid.. Of Vince Russo.....
-[[ A voice echoes in the backstage area, catching Shane's attention. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] And yew must get reed of that 'orrible hair style!
-[[ The atrocious French accent rakes Shane's nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard.. He turns around, as does Traci, and they find themselves mere feet away from Sylvan Grenier and the incomparable, Candice Michelle... Sylvan Grenier has one hand on his hip, the other hand resting under his chin as he looks Shane up and down... He shakes his head. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] Yew look positeevely like yew have been beaten weeth the ogly steeck!!
-[[ Shane raises his arms, bringing the bat into view.. He slaps it into his open hand.. Looking down at it. ]]-
[ Michael Shane ] I don't know about any ugly stick.. But if you don't step off and mind your own damn business, I'm going to beat you with THIS one... Do you understand me?
-[[ Candice giggles and rubs Sylvan's chest.. ]]-
[ Candice Michelle ] He's cute when he's angry...
-[[ She kisses Sylvan on the cheek. ]]-
[ Candice Michelle ] Not as cute as you, though...
-[[ Sylvan seems offended. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] Kee-yoot? That eez no way to dee-scribe thees clothes.. Or thees looks... There eez only one word that dee-scribes the man standing before yew..... And that word eez......
-[[ Sylvan looks up at the ceiling and puts his arms out to the side, as if he's drawing power from his surroundings. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] SYL-VAAAAAAN!!
-[[ Michael Shane has had enough.. He raises the bat..... And chunks of concrete spray outward from behind him and he goes flailing to the ground as Traci Brooks screams in terror.... Vince Russo just busted a cinder block over Michael Shane's head!! Shane lays motionless on the floor as Russo stands over him, breathing heavily.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Thanks fa' the distraction, Frenchy...
-[[ Russo looks over at Traci and flings a piece of the cinder block at her.. It narrowly misses her head. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Fuck off, you fuckin' fuck!! Get outta' here, 'fore you get anotha' taste o'what ya' got last week!!
-[[ Traci reluctantly backs away and out of Russo's sight.... Russo kneels down next to Shane now. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Look at ya', ya' stupid prick... Ain't you tired yet? Ain't you tired o'gettin' ya' ass kicked by me every single fuckin' week? I know I would be...... But ya' stupid, kid.. Ya' damn stupid.. Because if you was smart in tha' fuckin' least.. You would'a recognized Sylvan here.... As the man that's gonna take your ass to the cleana's at Six-String Supremacy... You hear me?
-[[ No answer, because he's obviously unconscious. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] That's right... It's gonna be Michael Shane.. Versus Sylvan Grenier.... And just because I'm a nice guy.. I'm gonna put somethin' in this fa' YOU... If you just happen to beat this man... If God himself comes down and stops this man and MY OWN HEART and you pull off the miracle of the god damn century and win this match...... You get me, Vince Russo in the ring... Alone... Fa' FIVE WHOLE MINUTES..... No interference.. Guaranteed.....
-[[ Russo spits right in Michael Shane's face and stands up.. Disgusted. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] You want ya' chance to get rid o'Vince Russo..... This is it..
-[[ Russo looks up at Sylvan and Candice, who have watched all of this transpire.. Sylvan is smiling a cocky smile. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] I weel beat him easy, no?
[ Vince Russo ] You damn well betta'...
-[[ Russo's serious facade slowly fades away however.. Still standing over Michael Shane, he speaks candidly to Sylvan and Candice.. You'd think he would get to know and trust the man BEFORE he put himself in danger with the stipulation he just presented to Shane... But oh well, this is Vince Russo.. When has he ever thought something through? ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Now, Sylvan.. I unda'stand ya' some kind've model.. Fashion consultant.. What the fuck eva'... But the pair o'tits.. Candice!! Baby.. What the fuck are YOU supposed to do?
-[[ She takes a step away from Sylvan, making sure to push her tits out as far as she can without completely exposing them.. Russo looks her up and down, breathing heavily... He looks ready to explode.. ]]-
[ Candice Michelle ] I do... This..
-[[ She raises her arm and begins twirling around, perfectly executing her one and only valuable signature move, the Go Daddy dance!! Vince Russo looks like he's going to blow the crotch out of his pants... He can barely speak. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Uh.. New stipulation.. Sylvan...
-[[ Sylvain's cocky smile gets even bigger. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] Yes, monsieur?
-[[ Russo swallows hard.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] If you lose dis match.. And ya' let Michael Shane kick my ass fa' five minutes.. I get ta' fuck tha' SHIT out o'Candice Michelle there afta' the fuckin' match... Also, no inta'ference.. Guaranteed...
-[[ Sylvan seems to think it over, although Candice doesn't seem to like the idea. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] May I watch?
-[[ Russo thinks and then decides. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Sure.. But no touchin'.. I heard the stories.. 'Bout you and Patta'son..
-[[ Sylvan shrugs.. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] No biggie.
-[[ Russo nods.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Good... Just.. Uh.. Get the job done..
-[[ Russo picks up his baseball bat that's been laying just inside Michael Shane's lifeless hand and walks away, massaging the huge bulge in his pants... As soon as he is out of sight, Candice slaps Sylvan hard across the face.... He looks absolutely shocked.. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] What deed I do!?
-[[ She just scowls at him. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] You are so confident that I am going to lose?!
-[[ She nods. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] I am Sylvain... I do not LOSE!!
-[[ She turns and walks away. ]]-
[ Sylvan Grenier ] Honestly!!
He walks out of your
line of sight.
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Charles Robinson
Winners: The fans.. For being allowed to see the Boogeyman work his magic
[ Rhino ] CACTUS JACK!! ROB VAN FUCKIN' DAM!!
-[[ He kicks the chair across the floor and then rams his own shoulder into the wall!! This man is NUTS!! ]]-
[ Rhino ] I'm going to fucking.. KILL THEM!! FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE........ FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE!!
-[[ He drops to his knees.. Breathing heavily and looking down at the floor.. ]]-
[ Rhino ] They don't stand a fuckin' chance.... They're.. Fuckin'....... DEAD!!!
-[[ And Booker T. casually walks into the shot, looking down at the seething monster on the floor... Booker T. is wearing his sun glasses and looks like he's just enjoying his time in Solid Gold Wrestling so far... He talks to Rhino without a care in the world.. ]]-
[ Booker T. ] Yaw, son, let me axe you somethin'.. You got da' time?
-[[ Rhino stops breathing heavily, almost on cue, and slowly turns his head to Booker T... ]]-
[ Rhino ] Do I look like I'm wearin' a fuckin' watch....... Asshole?!
-[[ Booker T. laughs and slaps Rhino on the back.. ]]-
[ Booker T. ] Shit, son, I'm sorreh.. Heh heh.. I wasn't thinkin', ya' heard?
-[[ Rhino doesn't like Booker T. touching him. ]]-
[ Booker T. ] 'Sides.. Where'd you put a watch anyway? On ya' horn?
-[[ Booker T. turns to walk away, laughing.. ]]-
[ Booker T. ] Catch ya' lata', dawg!!
-[[ Rhino isn't letting it end that easily. ]]-
[ Rhino ] What is it with all the assholes around here talking about my fucking HORN!?! I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING HORN!! I'M NOT AN ANIMAL, GOD DAMMIT!! I'M A MAN!! I'M THE MAN FUCKIN' BEAST!!
-[[ Cactus Jack casually strolls through the area, commenting almost politely. ]]-
[ Cactus Jack ] Man fucking beast? Isn't that illegal?
-[[ And he's gone just as fast as he arrived.. Rhino is shaking with anger.. Booker T. has stopped in his tracks, listening to the shit talk from Rhino continue... The pure, unadulterated anger is evident in Rhino's voice. ]]-
[ Rhino ] If I had a dollar for every time.. An asshole.. Like YOU.. Mentioned.. My fuckin' horn..
-[[ Booker T. removes his sun glasses and stares Rhino down, cutting him off in mid-sentence in the process. ]]-
[ Booker T. ] Tell me you didn't just say 'dat.....
[ Rhino ] You heard me.. I CALLED YOU AN ASSH--
[ Booker T. ] TELL ME...... YOU DID NOT....... JUST SAY 'DAT!!
[ Rhino ] I... DID!!
[ Booker T. ] Let me tell you sumpin', dawg.. I'm about to take yo' five dolla' ass and make CHANGE!!
[ Rhino ] You wanna' go!? YOU WANNA FUCKIN' GO!?
[ Booker T. ] Son, it's about to on like a NECK BONE!!
-[[ Rhino and Booker T. go nose to nose and at any moment, punches could be thrown.. But before these two mountains of men can brawl, Gene Snitsky, the sheriff of Shock steps in between them, looking intense... He opens his coat and flashes the badge..... Making sure they realize just who he is... ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] No.. Fiiight... Nowww...
[ Booker T. ] The hell chu' say?
-[[ Snitsky's eyes go wide and he begins breathing heavily.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] Jeff.. Gave me permission... To book.. ONE MAAAAATCH!!
-[[ The heavy breathing immediately stops. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] ...For the pay-per-view!!
-[[ He places one hand on Rhino's shoulder.. The other on Booker T.'s... A huge grin stretches across his face.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] AND THIS........ IS....... IIIIIIIIIIIT!!
-[[ Booker T. begins nodding, eyeballing Rhino. ]]-
[ Booker T. ] Yeah.. CHYEAH!! CHU' GONNA GET IT NOW!!
[ Rhino ] Bring it on, you son of a bitch!!
-[[ Snitsky interrupts.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] KISS..... MY...... FOOT MAAAAAAAATCH!! YEEESSSSSSSSS!!!
-[[ Booker T. and Rhino both look at Snitsky in disbelief. ]]-
[ Booker T. & Rhino ] WHAT?
[ Booker T. ] Tell me he didn't just say dat..
[ Rhino ] I ain't kissing his fuckin' feet!!
[ Booker T. ] Chyeah, I ain't kissin' his feet neitha', dawg!!
-[[ Snitsky laughs, a sadistic evil laugh. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] Not your feet..... MIIIIIIIIIINE!!!
-[[ Both wrestlers look down and see that Gene Snitsky is going barefoot with his suit.. They both look up in horror.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] And I'm gonna be...... The special guessst... Refereeeee!!!
-[[ Snitsky walks off laughing, leaving Booker T. and Rhino to themselves... Booker T. looks at Rhino. ]]-
[ Booker T. ] Man, I ain't kissin' yo nasty ass feet.
-[[ Rhino grits his teeth. ]]-
[ Rhino ] Fuck you.. I take good care of my feet.
My God, Booker T. and
Rhino at Six-String Supremacy in a KISS MY FOOT MATCH!! Refereed by Gene
Snitsky!? What else can happen at this pay-per-view!?
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Jimmy Cordaris
[ Don Harris ] Once again, bitches... This match is OVER... Because this match SUCKS!!
Harris throws the
apple down, beaning Carlito in the temple.. The Harris Brothers leave the
carnage in the ring as the fans boo..
Winner: The Harris Brothers
[ Petey Williams ] You both lost.. You're both out of Team Canada!!
[ Chris Benoit ] You lost too, you idiot!!
[ Petey Williams ] I got double teamed!! It wasn't fair!!
-[[ Benoit throws his hands up.. He gives up and walks out... Vampiro follows him, leaving Petey Williams and Scott D'Amore by themselves... D'Amore just shakes his head in disappointment.. Petey is not happy in the least.. ]]-
[ Petey Williams ] This sucks, Scott.. There's no TEAM to my Team Canada anymore!!
[ Scott D'Amore ] Forget them, Petey.. They were weak.. Pathetic.. Damaged goods after their matches tonight.. Chris Benoit tapped out to that idiot, Storm, something you will NEVER do.... And Vampiro... He got pinned by a girl!!
-[[ D'Amore gets right in Petey's face. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] That's not a teammate.. That's a disgrace!!
-[[ Petey smirks.. ]]-
[ Petey Williams ] Storm made Benoit tap out... But that won't help him in our match at Supremacy.. But my Canadian Destroyer... It's all I need to leave him down long enough to take what's mine... And once I have the rights to Team Canada...... I'LL JUST TAKE HIS!!
-[[ D'Amore laughs loudly, rubbing his goatee. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] Petey... I like the way you think..
They both laugh.
Rob Van Dam
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Falls Count Anywhere
Referee: Nick Patrick
Winner: Cactus Jack via Pin Fall
[ Jeff Jarrett ] We're only seven days away from the biggest pay-per-view in the history o'Solid Gold Wrestling.. Of course, I'm talkin' about the pay-per-view named after me, created by me, and hell, it's ALLLL about me.. Six-String Supremacy... So, because all o'ya'll are idiots and we ain't got nothin' else to fill this air time.. I'm gonna give ya' the run down o'matches we've got so far....
-[[ Jarrett looks at a piece of paper placed in front of him.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Michael Shane versus Sylvan Grenier.. What's this you got scribbled on here, Russo?
-[[ Russo looks down and squints.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Fuck, Jeff.. I don't know...
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Hell, Russo, you wrote it!! What's the stipulations!?
-[[ It hits Russo. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Oh, shit, Jeff.. I'm sorry... If Michael Shane wins.. He gets five minutes in the fuckin' ring wit' me.. With no inta'ference guaranteed..... And I get to fuck that hot piece o'ass, Candice Michelle...
-[[ Melina shakes her head in disgust.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Well.. What if Sylvan wins?
-[[ Russo shrugs. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] ...Then he wins?
-[[ Jarrett shrugs. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Fair enough.. Movin' on.. A Canadian Flag Match.. Lance Storm versus Petey Williams!! Where the only way to win the match is to grab that Canadian flag off the turnbuckle and wave it around like a big ol' patriotic idiot!! But that ain't the only thing, the winner gets Kurt Angle's medals.. And ALL the rights to TEAM CANADA!!
-[[ Russo laughs. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Like anyone really wants'em.. Fuck Canada!!
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Indeed, Russo... And we got the first ever women's match in SGDubya' history!! You heard me right.. Jeff Jarrett just don't stop makin' history here in Solid Gold!! First, I'm the longest reignin' world champion.. OF ALLLL TIME.. And now this.. We got "Super Model" Amy Love...
[ Vince Russo ] Tits, tits, tits!!
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Versus Joanie Laurer!!
[ Gene Snitsky ] He'ssss... HOT!!
-[[ Melina looks at Snitsky, confused. ]]-
[ Melina ] He?
[ Gene Snitsky ] Yesss... Joanie.... He's hot...
-[[ Snitsky groans and the front of his pants turns dark with moisture.. Melina gags and walks away from him. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And it looks like we got a Snitsky special here... Gene Snitsky refereein' Booker T. versus Rhino in a Kiss My Foot match... That's... Ah.. Disgustin', Snitsky...
[ Gene Snitsky ] ..Yessss....
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton is gonna be defendin' that television title against a so-called SGDubya legend... Chavo Guerrero Junior.. Randy Orton's gonna beat that son of a bitch like a dog.. I ain't liked Chavo Guerrero since the day I met him.. And it'll be a pleasure to see him bite the dust on MY pay-per-view!!
-[[ Russo laughs. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Yeah!! Fuck him AND the.. Stick horse he rode in on!!
-[[ Melina checks her nails, not even looking up as she speaks. ]]-
[ Melina ] Not funny.
[ Vince Russo ] Fuck you, too.
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And in a match very dear to my heart... Edge is gonna whip Val Venis' ass!!
-[[ Jarrett smirks.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And just because I don't like Val Venis... And because that son of a bitch tried to walk out on me on the first night.. I'm changin' the rules.. Val wants to play hardcore, beatin' up Edge in a janitor's closet? Well, Edge happens to like playin' hardcore too.. Remember that match we talked about on the first night, Melina?
-[[ Her eyes light up. ]]-
[ Melina ] Oh no.. No, you're not... You're going to do that with THIS match?
-[[ Jarrett laughs. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] You're damn right, I am... See, this ain't gonna be no regular match anymore.. If you two wanna get crazy.. Then you're gonna get crazy.. 'Cause I'm addin' a ladder to this match.... And I know you're probably thinkin'... Ya'll ain't got no belts.. What're ya' climbin' for?
-[[ Jarrett smiles, making Melina laugh out loud.. She knows what's coming. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Well, hangin' from the rafters is gonna be a box... Like your normal, every day wooden crate... And ya'll ain't gonna know what's inside of it.. Hell, even the referee won't know...
[ Vince Russo ] What's in the fuckin' box, Jeff?
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Even Vince Russo doesn't know!! That's how secretive this is.... It might be a box of cash.. It might be a contract that guarantees ya' a title shot at any time you want one... Hell.. I'm feelin' generous.. It IS my pay-per-view after all........ It might just be the world title itself!!
-[[ Jeff runs his hand over the championship belt in front of him.... Laughing. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And after that... We've got Kurt Angle versus Muhammad Hassan.. Muhammad Hassan who dared to lay a hand on my Melina... That just ain't gonna cut it, Hassan.. And you might think I'm takin' a risk by makin' your match a qualifyin' match for a spot in the Thunderdome... But it ain't no risk because Kurt Angle is gonna break your damn ankle... And you know it......
-[[ Melina speaks up now. ]]-
[ Melina ] For what you did to me, Hassan.. I'm going to personally see.. That you get EXACTLY what you deserve..
-[[ Jarrett smirks. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And speakin' of the Thunderdome... It's about time I announce the participants in that match.. And trust me.. Just 'cause you're in it don't mean you deserve to be U.S. champion.. Hell no.. I put some o'you guys in here just because I wanna see you DIE... Ha ha... First, we got... The Undertaker.. Who kinda' volunteered himself, but whatever... If he likes steel cages and torn flesh, more power to'im....
-[[ A shadow looms over Jarrett in the office.. And you hear someone spit in a cup.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Heh... He's my personal pick, by the way..
-[[ The shadow disappears.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I'm also insertin' my boy, Ken Kennedy into the match.. Because there ain't no other tag teams for him and that fat ass to defend their tag belts against.. So he might as well be in there to take up space... And in the... I want'em to die category.. I'm insertin' "Stone Cold" Steve Austin into the match... You wanna make friends with Chavo? You wanna stun Randy Orton? That's fine.. We'll see what good that does ya' ten tons of Thunderdome terror comes screamin' in on ya', you bastard...
-[[ Russo laughs... ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] And I picked this next one myself...... CACTUS JACK!! Bitch, you ain't seen hardcore yet!!
-[[ Jarrett smiles.. Russo keeps going. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] You keep yellin' and cryin' about wantin' to feel pain... I can't wait to see you in the Thunda'dome, screamin' and pissin' ya' pants like a little girl!! Ya' shit is about to be RUINED, kid.. RUINED!!
-[[ Jarrett speaks calmly after Russo's outburst. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Add to that the winner o'Angle and Hassan and you got one helluva match, if I do say so myself.. So sit back, grab some potato chips... And turn on that pay-per-view channels.. Because if there was ever a show worth the thirty bucks.. It's this one... And... Oh.. Oh hell, I almost forgot!!
-[[ Jarrett smacks himself on the forehead. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I forgot the two main attractions!! Of course, I'm talkin' about the duet... American Idol winner Carrie Underwood is gonna be singin' with ME, Jeff Jarrett and it's gonna be her NEW hit.. JARRETT TAKE THE WHEEL!! And in the main event of the evenin'.. We're gonna be airin' the worldwide debut of the trailer for my NEW movie.... CHOSEN ONE: THE LEGEND OF JEFF JARRETT!!
-[[ Jarrett laughs evilly.. Snitsky, Russo, and Melina join in like supervillains... Jarrett's face then goes dead serious and he points right into the camera....... ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Don't miss it.