[ Val Venis ] I'm telling you.. The in-ring aspect of our sport is right up your alley.. You would love it.. You've got the attitude... And you've damn sure got the body for it.. And with myself and Orlando training you, what could go wrong?
-[[ She isn't sold.. At all. ]]-
[ Kristal Marshall ] What makes you think I could hang with the girls around here? Don't get me wrong, I could take anyone I wanted in a street fight.. 'Cause they ain't no little white girl that can touch... This... But in a ring? With rules? I... Don't think so..
[ Val Venis ] What makes you so different from Traci? Or Trish?
-[[ She appears to be thinking.. ]]-
[ Kristal Marshall ] Well, I'm a little older...
[ Val Venis ] So!?
[ Kristal Marshall ] And my...
-[[ She slowly turns around, her back to Val.. ]]-
[ Kristal Marshall ] Butt is a little bit bigger..
-[[ Val's eyes go wide.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Ain't nothin' wrong with that!!
-[[ She seems flattered. ]]-
[ Kristal Marshall ] Val.. Let's--
-[[ A book slams shut, startling them both... They thought they were alone in the room.. Val's eyes settle on a man in the corner of the room.. Venis quickly becomes furious and forces Kristal behind him. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] What the HELL are you doing in my god damn dressing room!?
-[[ Randy Orton smiles, wearing a black suit and clutching a Bible in his hand, it is clear that he is prepared for his eulogy tonight.. He doesn't say a word.. Venis turns to Kristal and barks an order.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Kristal.. Leave.
[ Kristal Marshall ] But.. What if--
-[[ He yells. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] LEAVE, WOMAN!!
-[[ She turns quickly and leaves the room.. Venis doesn't take his eyes off of Orton.. Orton uses his thumb to thump the Bible, which is the only sound in the room now.. Orton waves his hand, acknowledging two chairs in front of him.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Have a seat, Val.. We need to talk..
-[[ Venis is reluctant, so Orton sits down first to assure him that there are no surprise attacks coming.. Venis walks slowly over and sits next to Orton.. Just as he is firmly seated, "Cowboy" Bob Orton emerges from the shadows.. Venis' eyes go wide... Bob puts his hands up in a defensive manner.. Venis is clearly upset. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] The fuck is THIS!?
-[[ Bob speaks up, his voice actually shaking a bit. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] I ain't meanin' ya' no harm, Val.. I'm here for Randy's protection.. I know what kind o'lunatic you can turn into sometimes... I can't afford to have you go off and hurt my boy..
-[[ Before Venis can reply, Randy speaks in a cocky, matter-of-fact tone.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] So.. Val, which 'R' are you feeling right now?
-[[ Venis looks confused. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Excuse me?
-[[ Orton puts his hand up, shaking his head.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Sorry, I should have been more clear.. It's been said that the number one killer of old people.. Is retirement.. Because they have nothing left to life for.. No reason to wake up in the morning.. If someone has a job.. They tend to live longer so that they can do it..
-[[ Venis shifts uncomfortably in his seat.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I assume the same saying applies for our kind.. So, now that your greatest enemy has unfortunately ventured into the great beyond... Which 'R' do you feel... Relief..... Or regret?
-[[ A pause.. Val's voice is grim. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] A little bit of both, I suppose.
-[[ Orton smirks. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Of course, you do.. But you have to feel one of them more than you feel the other..
-[[ Venis looks down, breathing heavily.. He looks back up and stares Orton right in the eye. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Regret.
-[[ Orton nods. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Thought so.
-[[ Orton leans in close to Venis, their faces only inches apart.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] How does it feel knowing that, in mere minutes, I did something that you never could.. I ended Taz.. Forever.. When all you ever did in the ring with him.. Was tap out....... Or BLACK OUT!!
-[[ Venis is shaking with fury.. A cocky smile stretches across Orton's face.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] A lot of legends are coming back lately.. Returning to their home here in SGW.. Hart.. Steiner.. You might say.. I've got a lot of killing ahead of me.. A lot more stops on the Legend Killer Tour... But the Legend Killer operates on a first come, first serve basis...
-[[ Val doesn't say a word.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And YOU.. Were here first..
-[[ A pause and then Orton stands up, looking down on Venis.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I just wanted to let you know.. Face to face.. And man to man.. That I feel no remorse.. And I feel no regret... Without a moment's hesitation, Venis, I killed your greatest rival.. Both in legend... AND IN LIFE!!
-[[ Orton now appears angry as he breathes heavily, right down on Venis.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And you're the next stop on the Legend Killer Tour.. Two thousand and six is going to be the year of the Legend Killer, Val, and I've got you in my sights... So, go find your little hood rat and tell her everything is okay.. Tell her.. How you feel about her once and for all... And most importantly.. Tell her goodbye.. Because sooner.. Rather than later... I... AM GOING........ TO END YOU!!
-[[ Venis looks up at Orton, his face red with anger.. Orton stares down at him a cocky, yet serious look on his face.. Orton looks over at his father and jerks his thumb toward the door.. "Cowboy" Bob nods.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Come on, dad... Let's go..
-[[ The Ortons leave the room as Val sits motionless.. Breathing heavily.. Then Val shakes his head and stands up.. He's not going to take this.. He can't..... He's Val Venis.. Solid Gold Wrestling's proudest son..... Venis stands up from his seat and charges for the door.. He flings it open, steps into the hallway and yells.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] ORTON!!
-[[ No answer, only a dry laugh.. Venis instantly recognizes the source.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] I'm afraid.. Randy Orton.. Has already.. DEPARTED!!
-[[ Hassan is in his white robe and head dress.. Daivari stands behind him in his usual suit.. Venis stares a hole straight through him.. Hassan is smiling.. He takes a few steps closer to Venis, his eyes never leaving him.. There's a tremendous amount of joy in Hassan's tone.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Well, Val.. It would seem that you have emerged victorious in your little.. Tournament.. And NOW.. The whole world.. IS DYING TO KNOW!! Who you're coming after.... But I think you and I.. We already know.. But I will generously give you the opportunity to reconsider.... Because I still don't think you fully realize exactly who is holding.. This... Championship belt.... I mean, after all, Val.. Unlike you... I...... AM UNDEFEATED!!
-[[ Daivari goes into a frenzy.. ]]-
[ Khosrow Daivari ] OOLOO KAPOOTA!! SAYALLAH!! AKBAR!! UNDEFEATED MUHAMMAD... HASSAAAAN!!
-[[ When Hassan sees that Venis isn't going to answer him, he storms up on him, bringing him face to face.. Venis' gaze does not waver in the least.. Hassan begins yelling in Val's face, becoming angry that Venis won't speak.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Why the wait, Venis?! Trying to think of someone to get me out of your hair?! LIKE TAZ!? Since you obviously couldn't get it done yourself!? Why don't you go get your friend, Randy Orton, to sneak up on ME in the dead of night.. AND KILL ME TOO!! Because compared to you... AND YOUR EFFORTS SO FAR IN SGW...... I AM A LEGEND.. IN MY OWN TIME!!
-[[ Venis snaps forward and grabs Hassan by the throat.. Venis plows in Hassan hard, shoving him into the wall and actually managing to lift him a few inches off of the floor.. Hassan stares down in Venis with fury in his eyes.. Venis is breathing so hard that he's spitting on the exhale.. Daivari is throwing a huge fit behind him.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] You shut the fuck up, Daivari!!
-[[ Daivari immediately goes silent.. Venis turns back to Hassan.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] And you.. Hassan... When I want that belt... IF.. I WANT THAT BELT!! I'll TAKE IT from you!!
-[[ A pause as they stare at each other.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] As a matter of fact.. Screw waiting to reveal when I want my title shot.. I'm going to reveal it.. NEXT WEEK!! And when you hear the words coming out of my mouth, Hassan... You sit back and you begin worrying.. Because I promise you.. THERE IS NOTHING.. YOU CAN DO...... TO STOP ME!!
-[[ Hassan looks furious. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] So, make sure to keep your head dress out of your eyes and keep them glued to the monitor, sand monkey, because next week... Our future.. MY FUTURE.. BECOMES CRYSTAL CLEAR!!
-[[ Venis releases Hassan.. Neither man makes a move... And then Hassan spits in the floor.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Your future.. And your ticket to the afterlife... Is staring you.. Right in the face..
-[[ Venis gets a smug look on his face.. And turn and walks away, leaving Hassan and Daivari by themselves.. They stare at Venis as he leaves... Daivari is visibly more furious as he shakes his head, mumbling to himself.. ]]-
[ Khosrow Daivari ] En sabbah.. Mancala, bitch..
-[[ Hassan just nods, staring down the hall where Venis disappeared. ]]-
-[[ A massive, shirtless frame walks into the shot and sits down in the chair.. You see the face, you're staring at the former four time SGW World Heavyweight champion, "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner.. He's wearing sunglasses and there is no recognizable emotion on his face.. ]]-
[ Camera Man ] You ready?
[ Scott Steiner ] Shut the fuck up.
-[[ Silence. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] You wanted people to sit down and talk about that pudgy, orange fat-shit.. Well, here I am, mother fucker, and I'll tell you exactly what the fuck I think and how the fuck I feel about somebody finally sendin' that asshole screamin' into the afterlife!!
-[[ A pause. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] I only stepped in the ring one time with that bitch.. SGW World Title on the line!! That alone tells you who won because Taz is a bottom-feeding bastard!! He never done nothin' but make other people look good and win titles I wouldn't piss on and when I slapped the Steiner Recliner on that wannabe tough guy piece of shit.. It felt just the same as when I put anyone else in the move!! Because big, bad Taz ain't shit!! He's never been shit and never will be.. Because he's dead.. AND HE SUCKS!!
-[[ Steiner seems really angry as he continues.. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] I put his ass in the Recliner and he started screamin' like a little bitch!! Blood was gushin' out of his head and face because I went to work on his ass with a lead pipe and in no time, that bitch was tappin' out, but I didn't let go.. The referee was tellin' me to let go and the fans were were screamin' and cryin' because they ain't never seen nobody die before.. Referee tells me I'm gonna choke him to death.. And I tell him YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I AM!! I wanted his ass to die!! I wanted to feel his fuckin' soul slip through my fingers!!
-[[ Steiner smiles. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] This guy was supposed to be a legend!? The only history this guy made is bein' the god damn steppin' stone for everybody that actually WON the world title!! So fuck Taz!! Taz sucked in Solid Gold Wrestling.. He sucked in New Era Wrestling!! And he sure as hell sucked in AWE!! He sucked in life.. And now he sucks in DEATH.. Suckin' Satan's dick!! Because that's where the fuck he belongs... On his knees.. Suckin' dick.. Or kissin' my ass!!
-[[ Steiner points at nothing in particular and yells.. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] BURN IN HELL, YOU ROTTEN FUCKIN' BASTARD!!
-[[ A pause. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] HOLLER.... IF YA' HEAR ME!!
stands and walks out of the room.
versus John Bradshaw Layfield
versus Kurt Angle
Title on the Line: SGW Hardcore Championship
Referee: Mark Yeaton
Winner and New Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield via Pin Fall
[ Ken Kennedy ] So, Christian... We cool?
-[[ Christian looks confused.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Why wouldn't we be?
-[[ Kennedy shrugs his shoulders.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Well, the whole... We hate you because you took out Jeff Jarrett thing, I suppose..
-[[ Christian shakes his head casually.. ]]-
[ Christian ] No biggie.. How's those belts treatin' ya'?
-[[ Christian smiles, seemingly admiring their gold.. Kennedy looks down at the belt on his shoulder.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Well enough.. They'll treat us much better when we make the history books with them..
-[[ Christian raises an eyebrow.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Make the history books with them?
-[[ The Big Show gets a smug look on his face.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] We're only weeks away from being the longest reigning tag team champions.. Of all time..
-[[ Kennedy smiles, nodding along.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] And there's no team in Solid Gold good enough.. To take'em from us..
-[[ Christian looks on at the two of them, obviously not enjoying what he's hearing.. Obviously, because he and Edge ARE the current holders of the longest tag title reign in SGW history.... Christian speaks, mock-congratulatory.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Well.. Good luck with that, guys..
-[[ Kennedy and Show laugh.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] We don't need luck... C-DIDDY!! Save THAT for our opponents!!
-[[ Kennedy slaps Christian on the shoulder.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] See you in the main event tonight, PAL!!
-[[ They walk off, chuckling with their tag team titles... Christian watches them go.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Yeah... See ya' around.
-[[ He smirks.. ]]-
-[[ The usual
black backdrop is obscured by the Canadian flag.. Mike Awesome and Lance
Storm are both seated in the folding chairs now.. Mike Awesome is
sitting leaned forward with both of his fists clenched tightly.. He
looks like he's ready to dive out of his seat at any second and start
throwing punches.. Lance Storm remains cool and collected, wearing a
pair of jeans a white t-shirt with a red maple leaf in the center.. This
was obviously filmed before his match from earlier tonight..
Michael Shane & Traci Brooks
versus Lance Storm & Major Gunnz
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Scott James
Winners: Lance Storm & Major Gunnz via Disqualification
[ Maria ] HEY, EVERYBODY!!
-[[ The fans, in unison, respond with "HEY, MARIA!" She laughs and continues.. ]]-
[ Maria ] I'm out here with another big announcement!!
-[[ She waits for the huge pop to die down.. ]]-
[ Maria ] I wasn't going to say anything because he told me he didn't want any attention brought to him for being at a wrestling show... But since everybody seems to be really angry and wanting to bad mouth poor, dead Taz, I thought I'd introduce him anyway to make everybody HAPPY AGAIN~!! YAY, HAPPY PEOPLE!!
-[[ She then points to the front row, jumping up and down.. ]]-
[ Maria ] TOM CRUISE IS HERE!! THE REAL TOM CRUISE!!
-[[ The fans pop huge and the camera pans around to reveal that Tom Cruise is, indeed, seated in the front row and sitting next to him is Katie Holmes.. A huge "CRUISE! CRUISE! CRUISE!" chant begins... Maria begins leading it.. She then stops and speaks again.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Come in the ring, Tom!
-[[ Tom shakes his head and motions for her to continue without him.. She pouts.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Come in the ring... PLEEEEEEASE!! PLEEEEEASE, TOM!!
-[[ He stands up and motions that he can't.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Does everyone here want to see Tom Cruise get in the ring!?
-[[ Huge pop. ]]-
[ Maria ] Come on, Tom!! NOW YOU HAVE TO!! You can't disappoint your fans!!
-[[ Tom gives in and crawls over the guardrail.. Security makes sure he gets over okay and he climbs inside of the ring.. The fans are going wild for Tom Cruise.. Maria looks so excited that she might piss herself.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise!! WOW!! I can't believe you're in the ring with me!!
-[[ Cruise looks flattered.. He puts his arm around her and she looks like she's going to faint.. He leans into her microphone and begins speaking, she listens intently to every word that comes out of his mouth.. ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] Maria... I'll do anything for one of my fans.. Thanks for inviting me into the ring.. But I really should be getting back to my seat..... Thank all of you for your support.. And go see MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THREE!!
-[[ Massive pop and Tom Cruise makes his way back to the ropes, but as soon as he lays his hands on them, Maria yells into the microphone and what he hears stops him dead in his tracks... ]]-
[ Maria ] TOM CRUISE IS GONNA WRESTLE AT HEARTBREAKER!!
-[[ He turns around with a 'what the fuck' look on his face and begins shaking his head "no." ]]-
[ Maria ] HE'S GONNA FIGHT FOR THE WORLD TITLE!!
-[[ Cruise runs up to her and cups his hand over her microphone, trying to stop her.. ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] What are you doing? I can't.. Wrestle!
-[[ Maria nods her head up and down hard. ]]-
[ Maria ] But you said you'd do anything for a fan!!
[ Tom Cruise ] ..But.. That's asking a little much!!
[ Maria ] Well, I'm a fan!! I'm, like, your biggest fan EVER.. And I want you to wrestle at Heartbreaker!!
-[[ Huge pop.. ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] Maria...... No. It's not happening.. I've never even wrestled in my entire life!!
-[[ The fans begin booing as Cruise goes to exit the ring again.. As he steps out onto the apron, the boos get so loud that he can't hear himself think.. Maria looks like she's going to start crying.. But then the look on Tom Cruise's face tells you that the reaction of the fans is touching him..... He can't.. Disappoint.. His fans... Cruise turns around and goes back inside the ring.. The fans begin buzzing.. Cruise takes the microphone from Maria and stares at it as if he's having to think this over real hard and real fast..... And then he says it.. ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] I'm in...
-[[ Huge pop.. Maria looks really excited.. ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] Anything.. For my fans.....
-[[ Tom Cruise then makes a huge sprint for the turnbuckles, climbs to the middle and screams into the microphone. ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] I LOVE MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!
-[[ He hops off and says into the microphone... ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] And I'll be... At Heartbreaker...
-[[ He gives Maria a hug and exits the ring to return to his seat.. TOM CRUISE IS GOING TO BE AT HEARTBREAKER!! He's going to be... WRESTLING!? In the WORLD TITLE MATCH!? What the hell has Maria done now!? ]]-
Kennedy and the Big Show are sitting in a couple of folding chairs now..
Both men look unbelievably distraught, clutching their SGW Tag Team
championships, which leads you to question exactly what kind of
relationship they had with Taz considering they were never on Solid Gold
Wrestling television together at any point in their careers.. Before you
can question their integrity any further, Ken Kennedy begins blubbering
out a story through tears that are so exaggerated that they must be
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin
versus Brock Lesnar
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Street Fight
Referee: Charles Robinson
Winner: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin via Pin Fall
-[[ Cactus Jack is stumbling through the backstage area, groaning and holding his ribs... He's obviously still feeling the hurt from earlier tonight... He slumps against the wall and drops down, looking up at the ceiling and breathing heavily.. There's a small amount of dried blood on his cheek.. Cactus Jack doesn't appear to be in good shape at all... And then the yellow polo shirt comes into the shot.. It's "The Franchise" Shane Douglas!! Douglas has a microphone in his hand and he begins yelling at Cactus Jack.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] Cactus Jack.. Earlier tonight.. HA HA HA.. YOU LOST.. Your hardcore championship that you just had.. HANDED TO YOU LAST WEEK!! HANDED TO YOU!! AND YOU...... LOST IT!!
-[[ Cactus Jack looks down, ashamed of himself... Douglas keeps on.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] What you did tonight, quite frankly.. MAKES ME SICK!!
-[[ Douglas is smiling, knowing he's getting underneath Cactus Jack's skin.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] YOU HAVE DISGRACED HARDCORE WRESTLING... JUST LIKE THAT DEAD SON OF A BITCH, TAZ!! HA HA HA... AND GOD DAMMIT.. I WANNA KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT!! GIMME THE SCOOP, MICK!! I WANT THE FUCKIN' SCOOP!!
-[[ Cactus Jack begins screaming at him.. ]]-
[ Cactus Jack ] You want the scoop!? YOU WANT THE FUCKING SCOOP!? I'll give you the scoop, Shane... And the scoop is.. From day one here in Solid Gold Wrestling.. I have given everything I have.. I have put my body on the line and I have been given absolutely nothing.... BUT DISRESPECT!! And when someone finally showed me the respect I deserve....
-[[ Cactus looks up, looking almost happy for a second.. ]]-
[ Cactus Jack ] Sweet.. Kind.. Beautiful Maria... Handing me the greatest gift an innocent girl could give a hardcore icon like myself...... The Hardcore championship.. When someone finally makes that effort to give me something I deserve... IT GETS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME... ON THE MEMORIAL SHOW.. FOR A MAN.. THAT MAKES MY PERFORMANCE IN SOLID GOLD WRESTLING UP TO THIS POINT.. LOOK LIKE A FIVE STAR AFFAIR!!
-[[ Cactus begins to calm down a little bit.... ]]-
[ Cactus Jack ] I didn't go out there to wrestle for Taz tonight.. I didn't go out there to wrestle for the fans.. I went out there to fight and prove that I was worth the championship belt that was handed to me last week... And unfortunately, Shane, I fell a little bit short on achieving my goal....
-[[ A man laughs.. Shane Douglas turns and looks up.. Cactus doesn't need to.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] JOHN.. BRADSHAW.. LAYFIELD!! HA HA HA!!
-[[ JBL walks up, smiling with the Hardcore Championship over his shoulder... He casually speaks to Douglas.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Shane, if you don't mind.. I don't want an interview.. I just wanna talk to my good buddy, Cactus Jack here... Is that gonna be a problem?
-[[ Douglas shakes his head.. Smiling.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] Of course not, Bradshaw.. Knock yourself.. THE FUCK OUT!! HA HA HA!!
-[[ Shane Douglas leaves the area, leaving John Bradshaw Layfield and Cactus Jack by themselves.. Bradshaw kneels down next to Cactus Jack, staring him right in the face.. Cactus Jack doesn't make eye contact with him.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Look at ya', Cactus.... Pathetic..
-[[ No answer. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Since you don't wanna talk.. I'll talk for ya'.. You wanna know why no one gives you the respect that you think you deserve!? Because you don't DESERVE respect, Cactus Jack.... Because in Solid Gold Wrestling.. In this business.. YOU.. ARE.. GARBAGE!!
-[[ A pause.. Layfield continues.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] The only reason Maria gave you THIS belt.. Is because SHE.. IS AN IDIOT!! She is a glorified announcer that knows absolutely nothing about this business and WHAT IT TAKES.. TO BE A WRESTLER!! And that is what you two have in common.... You are not a wrestler, Cactus Jack.. You are an average Joe, hardcore wrestling jack ass that would not know what to do if you were forced to get in the ring when weapons were.. Not.. Allowed..
-[[ Cactus looks up at Layfield now.. Watching him as he speaks.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] And even with weapons involved, you are not worth the DOG SHIT.. ON MY SHOE!! That is why you were the first man eliminated in the Thunderdome and that is why, tonight, I took your championship belt!! And if you think these damn fans care about you and your matches... Rest assured... They don't.. They only feel sorry for you because they know that you and your current state of mind.. Are only likely to lead us into having a Cactus Jack Memorial Show in the very near future..... But the jokes on them.. Because there wouldn't be a Cactus Jack Memorial Show... Because if you died, NO ONE WOULD NOTICE!! They'd just drag some other homeless bum off of the street, give him a BANG BANG t-shirt and throw him in the ring and no one would know the difference!!
-[[ Layfield is trying hard to piss Cactus off now.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] As a matter of fact, the only thing REAL about your ass... Is the fact that your t-shirt says WANTED DEAD..... Because that is EXACTLY what everyone WANTS.. FROM YOU!!
-[[ Someone taps Bradshaw on the shoulder... Layfield turns around quickly and comes face to face with "The Canadian Crippler" Chris Benoit.. Benoit looks Bradshaw up and down... Bradshaw doesn't know what's going on.. ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] John.. Bradshaw.. Layfield... Tell me.. How does it feel to be a real champion.. That needed the help.. OF A WOMAN... To defeat two of your rivals for that championship you so proudly carry around on your shoulder?
-[[ Bradshaw's upper lip twitches, he's beginning to get angry.. ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] Let me tell you something, John.. Bradshaw.. Layfield... Tonight, I am going to defeat Christian for his world championship.... And since you take so much pride in being a real.. Champion... After I am the new world.. Heavyweight.. Champion......... I'll give you the first shot... At Heartbreaker!!
-[[ Benoit and Layfield take a step closer to each other like they may begin swinging at any moment.. ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] And we'll see how YOU fair against someone in a match.. Where weapons.. Are not.. Allowed..
-[[ Layfield smiles.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Sorry, little Benoit.. But you ain't winnin' that championship tonight.. Because to hold that championship.. And to step up to my level.....
-[[ Layfield raises his hand a few inches over Benoit's head.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Ya' gotta be THIS tall.. Sorry, kid.. Maybe when ya' hit pubert--
-[[ Benoit slaps Layfield so hard that it sends him spinning around... Layfield doesn't even bother turning back around.. Benoit smirks, watching Layfield just stand there, shocked..... ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] Prepare.. To be proven.. Wrong...
turns and heads toward the ring for his match with Christian..
versus Chris Benoit
Title on the Line: SGW World Heavyweight Championship
Referee: Nick Patrick
Winner and Still Champion: Christian via Pin Fall
looks around, basking in the boos he's receiving.. He folds up the piece
of paper and places it back inside of his jacket.. He begins to speak
again but the boos actually drown him out.. He speaks louder to get
[ Jim Ross ] TEN DAYS!! TEN DAYS!! TAZ'S CHAMPIONSHIP REIGN ONLY LASTED TEN BY GAWD DAYS!!
-[[ Chris Jericho stomps around the ring and pie faces Taz down to the mat before raising his arms in victory as referee, Nick Patrick, straps the championship belt around his waist..... ]]-
-[[ Taz, bleeding profusely once more is seen diving across the ring to tag in "The Franchise" now.. Within seconds, Shane Douglas has planted Buff Bagwell with the Pittsburgh Plunge and secured the SGW Tag Team championship for he and his untalented partner, Taz... Douglas shoves the championship belt into Taz's arms and forces him to hold the ropes open for him... Another quick jump-cut as Shane Douglas plants Taz with a belly-to-belly suplex, leaving him prone to a FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH as Douglas basically hands the tag team titles to Van Dam and Billy Kidman.... Van Dam and Kidman celebrate with the titles.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] QUITE FRANKLY, TAZ.. HA HA HA.. I'M SICK.. AND FUCKING TIRED OF CARRYING YOUR ASS!!
The game of
life is hard to play..
-[[ Taz is being beaten relentlessly by Buh Buh Ray and D-Von Dudley.. Blood is squirting out of his head and.. Oh my God... Buh Buh is lighting a table on fire!! But just as Taz is about to meet his maker six years ago rather than last week, Tommy Dreamer runs in and saves Taz's ass, drives Buh Buh and D-Von down to the mat with stereo DDTs!! Tommy Dreamer pins them both and Taz has been carried to one more championship belt... Flash forward, and Tommy Dreamer and Taz are standing outside of the SGW Headquarters just after SGW succumbed to financial difficulties.. ]]-
[ Taz ] What we gonna do now, Dreama'?
-[[ Dreamer shakes his head.. ]]-
[ Tommy Dreamer ] I don't know what the fuck you're gonna do.. But you ain't doin' it with me..
-[[ Dreamer leaves Taz to himself on the street.. And a car drives by, splashing water across Taz's 6:32 t-shirt.. Taz looks up into the heavens and his shoulders slump..... And a single tear rolls down his cheek... ]]-
The sword of
time will pierce our skin..
-[[ Taz is seen interfering in a match between Rhyno and Billy Kidman where he declares himself the SGW EXTREME champion.. Taz, pissed and looking blown up like a bullfrog after only a few minutes of in-ring action, storms out of the ring with his freshly stolen championship belt... And then another jump-cut as "The Franchise" Shane Douglas, one more time, is beating Taz like he owes him money!! Douglas goes to town on Taz with a kendo stick, drawing tons of blood, and then Douglas whips him like a dog with his belt as Taz screams in pain, trying to escape.. But Douglas won't allow it..... And then.. The finish is academic as Douglas Pittsburgh Plunges Taz through two tables and pins him to become the new champion.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] I JUST WON YOUR GOD DAMN FUCKIN' BELT!! HA HA HA!! NOW YOU GET IN MY BATHROOM.. AND CLEAN THE FRANCHISE'S SHIT.. UP!! CLEAN IT UP!! THAT'S MY SHIT!!! THAT'S MY GOD DAMN FUCKIN' SHIT!! HA HA HA!! CLEAN IT!! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT, TAZ!?
-[[ Taz is seen standing in the ring with the Solid Gold Wrestling-X logo flashing behind him... And after a hardcore, bloody brawl, we see Raven nailing Taz with an Evenflow DDT and pinning him.... Arn Anderson and Val Venis pummel Taz with a tire iron and a chair as blood coats the ring mat.... A graphic says "Next week" and Taz falls prey to "The King of Old School" Steve Corino as the fans erupt in cheers..... Jump cut, once more.. And Taz is walking out on his match with Chris Kanyon, being counted out........ ]]-
[ Doctor ] Your concussion isn't getting better... It's only getting worse..
-[[ Val Venis steps out onto the ramp in slow motion.. ]]-
[ Doctor ] The next move you take... Hell, the next punch you take... Could kill you..
-[[ Taz is in the doctor's office, shaking his head.. ]]-
[ Doctor ] The next time you go to the ring, you could die..
[ Taz ] Somebody could die.. Every time I go to the ring..
-[[ Val Venis slams Taz in the head with a chair so many times that blood squirts out of his ears.. ]]-
[ Doctor ] Walk away.. The championship isn't worth it..
[ Taz ] You don't know what ya' talkin' 'bout, doc...
-[[ Val Venis lights a table on fire and POWER BOMBS Taz through it.. EMTs flood the ring and carry Taz out on a stretcher.. In the backstage area, Christian rushes up to the stretcher in hysterics.. ]]-
[ Christian ] What happened to Taz!? IS TAZ OKAY!?
[ EMT ] Val Venis.. Ended his career...
[ Christian ] ..No, he didn't..
-[[ Christian flips the stretcher over.. ]]-
[ Christian ] I DID!! I ENDED HIS CAREER!!
A brave man
once requested me..
-[[ "Two Weeks Ago" scrolls across the screen.. Val Venis is on his way to the entrance ramp for his match with the Undertaker.. And instead finds himself face to face with Taz..... They exchange words, although you only hear the music.. And then, Taz's speech becomes audible.. ]]-
[ Taz ] We got unfinished bidness..
' And you can do the same thing.. If you pleeeease.. '
[ Christian ] Next time... I'll flip over your CASKET!!
-[[ The music stops abruptly and all you hear is the sound of tires screeching and then the shot of a rental car slamming straight into the front of an eighteen wheeler and exploding.... The smiling face of Randy Orton fills the screen and you see the flames flickering in his eyes.... Taz.. Is dead.. And the video freeze frames on Orton's smiling face.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] You can thank me later....
-[[ And the video closes with this image.. ]]-
-[[ As the video comes to a close, the lights come back on and the fans are booing so loud that it creates an almost static sounding noise for anyone that happens to be watching this travesty unfold on television... Randy Orton mockingly wipes a tear from his eye.. He then leans into the microphone, speaking over the fans.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I have to give it to myself... That.. Was beautiful!!
-[[ Randy then turns to his father.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Dad.. It's time..
-[[ "Cowboy" Bob nods, knowing what Randy wants.. Orton begins going through his coat pockets and after a few seconds, he finds an envelope.. Scrawled on the envelope in black marker is the text "Last Will and Testament." Randy Orton takes the envelope and produces a letter opener to break the seal.. He removes a folded up piece of paper and holds it in front of him... He looks out at all of the fans.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Everyone, please be quiet.. Taz would want you to hear this...
-[[ Orton clears his throat.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] If you're reading this.. That means I am dead, having been finally put out of my misery by "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton and his Hall of Fame worthy father, "Cowboy" Bob Orton...... I know none of you miss me and are all probably glad to see me go, but I would like everyone to hear my last wishes...
-[[ Orton smiles, looking up. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Taz.. Prophet.
-[[ He laughs and then continues reading. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] First, I would leave my hearing to anyone who wanted it.. But unfortunately, I lost that years ago..
-[[ Orton nods, shrugging his shoulders.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I thought about leaving my mother and father to raise some other poor child, perhaps from Boston or some surrounding area... But much like my hearing, they left me a long time ago.....
-[[ Orton looks up, an understanding look on his face.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Well.. It's true.
-[[ Orton reads some more.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And with that, I realize I have nothing else to give.. Because I am, in fact, nothing.. All that I had left was to show up to Shock.. Confront Val Venis and challenge him to a match I wouldn't have won even if I had survived.. And then give away the one thing I had left in this world..... MY LIFE!!
-[[ Orton stands there, clutching the paper tightly, shaking with intensity.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] In fact, with nothing left to give.. And nothing left to live for.. I am just.. Another.. Legend...
-[[ Orton's eyes go wide.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] .....KILLED!!
-[[ The boos flood the sound system again..... And then..... ]]-
-[[ Oh.. My.. God.. ]]-
-[[ "WAR MACHINE" BY KISS HITS!! ]]-
-[[ Randy Orton looks like he's seen a ghost!! TAZ IS HERE!! TAZ... IS HERE!! HE'S NOT DEAD!! Randy Orton rips his jacket off and assumes a fighting stance, waiting for Taz to storm down the ramp.. And the fans are popping so huge, you would think Jesus Christ himself has come down to stop Orton..... THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS!! TAZ IS HERE!! And the curtain pulls back......... And a group of DRUIDS are dragging out a pine box splattered in orange paint....... What.. The.. Fuck? Taz... Isn't here..... It was a fake-out!! ORTON IS LAUGHING!! The pine casket is almost falling apart in their hands and the orange paint is dripping off of it, showing that this a freshly done job.. The druids drag the casket into the ring and Randy Orton admires it, smiling the entire time.. They have brought the casket containing Taz's remains into the ring.. This is ridiculous.. Disrespectful.. And ridiculous!! Randy Orton pulls the microphone from the podium.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Why are you people booing!? The music didn't lie!!
-[[ Orton points at the casket.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] TAZ IS RIGHT HERE!!
-[[ The boos are deafening.. And then.. ]]-
' IT WASN'T..... MY..... FAULT!! '
-[[ Gene Snitsky is BACK!! Gene Snitsky walks out onto the stage wearing the exact same sleeveless tuxedo that he was wearing at Six-String Supremacy when he became injured... Snitsky looks furious, eyes wide, breathing heavily.. And he has a piece of notebook paper in his hand that looks like it's been scribbled on with a crayon... The Ortons and druids all watch on from the ring.. The look on Orton's face tells you that he knew Snitsky was coming.. Snitsky has a microphone in his hand and he begins to speak.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] When I heard.. That Taz died.. I wrote.. A POEM!!
-[[ The fans begin booing even louder.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] This.. Is my tribute... To TAAAAAZ!!
-[[ He looks at the paper and squints his eyes.. As if he's trying to struggle to read.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] Taz..
-[[ Boos. ]]-
Your death.. Was shocking.. And
truly.. A shame..
-[[ Snitsky cups his ear.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] Huh? I can't hear you..
-[[ The fans erupt in boos.. ]]-
] You were deaf.. And had no
-[[ Snitsky waves his hand in front of his nose and makes a disgusted face. ]]-
-[[ Orton gives Snitsky a thumbs up.. Snitsky grins and nods his head before continuing.. ]]-
Up in flames.. Is you.. And your
career.. Literally on fire.. Yes, you are..
-[[ Snitsky roars.. ]]-
[ Gene Snitsky ] AND IT WASN'T... MY... FAULT!!
-[[ Massive boos.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Thank you, Snitsky..
-[[ Snitsky nods and walks back through the curtain as if he was never even there.. Orton begins speaking into the microphone again, once more having to speak over the screams of the fans that desperately want this farce to end.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Dad.. Seeing as how we have Taz here.. And this is such a special moment..
-[[ Orton seems to think it over before continuing.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I thought to myself.. What better way to make this moment more special.. Than to have a reunion?
-[[ "Cowboy" Bob seems confused.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Between the parents... And their son..
-[[ Orton smiles evilly and "Cowboy" Bob leans in.. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] Ain't they.. Dead, son?
-[[ Randy nods, smiling.. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] And.. Ain't they buried in the asshole o'Boston?
-[[ Randy nods again.. And then he points at the Golden-Tron.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Feast your eyes..
-[[ The lights dim and the Golden-Tron flashes to life again.. And the fans are suddenly looking at the Big Show sitting in the driver's seat... OF A HEARSE!! The text "Earlier today" scrolls across the screen.. The Big Show is laughing loudly as he speaks.... And his words make your blood run cold.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] Trust me, Kennedy.. You're gonna LOVE this!!
-[[ A pause. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] It'll be a hell of a ride!!
-[[ The Big Show accelerates and the camera is ripped out of the hearse.. And settles on... KEN KENNEDY RIDING THE CASKET OF TAZ'S MOTHER!! The Big Show plows the hearse over tombstones, ripping them to pieces as Ken Kennedy screams in terror, holding on for dear life as the casket threatens to fall apart or flip over entirely!! Finally, the Big Show brings the vehicle to a halt and Kennedy gets off of it... The Big Show steps out of the driver's side and smiles at Kennedy... Kennedy looks shaken big-time.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] How'd you like that, champ?
-[[ Kennedy just shakes his head.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Let's get his dad and get the hell out of here, Show.
-[[ The Big Show laughs and slaps Kennedy on the back, almost knocking him down.. And then the Golden-Tron shuts off, the lights come back up... And the fans are disgusted to hear... ]]-
-[[ Huge boos. ]]-
-[[ The set is shoved to the side and that very same hearse pulls out onto the ramp, Eddie Guerrero style!! And.. Oh shit, no.. It's still dragging one of the caskets!! And there's another chain hanging from the back with pieces of a casket still attached to it... What's happened there!? Ken Kennedy leans out of the passenger's side with a microphone in his hand.. He looks a bit worried.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Sorry, Randy.. We dragged these bad boys all the way from Boston... ALLLLLL THE WAY ACROSS THE CANADIAN BORDER... And I'll be damned if we didn't lose his dad's casket on the highway.. But we pulled over and picked up the pieces we could find... And luckily for all of us here tonight.......
-[[ Ken Kennedy reveals a blue, plastic bag full of wet meat.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] I HAD A TRUSTY.. WAL-MART BAAAAAAAAAG!!
-[[ The fans boo even louder.. The hearse pulls down closer to the ring and The Big Show steps out of it.. He rips the remaining casket away from the back of the hearse and tosses it inside of the ring like it's nothing.. It rests mere feet away Taz's casket... Ken Kennedy and Big Show get inside and Kennedy rests the Wal-Mart bag full of daddy-chunk on top of Taz's casket.. Randy Orton gives Show and Kennedy each a quick hug.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Thanks, guys..
-[[ He then addresses the fans.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Before we continue any further with this touching reunion.. I have one more important announcement to make.. And it is regarding... The Solid Gold Wrestling.. Hall of Fame.. Ladies and gentlemen, turn your attention one more time to the Golden-Tron....
-[[ The Golden-Tron flashes to life, revealing Taz's Hall of Fame entry.. ]]-
-[[ Orton stares up at it, smiling.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] It is my duty to inform everyone here... That Taz is being.. REMOVED from the Hall of Fame!!
-[[ The fans erupt in boos.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] But rest assured.. He IS being replaced.. TONIGHT.. By a superstar that has outshined him in every way.. A superstar that has done more in two months than he did.. IN HIS ENTIRE CAREER!! Of course... I'm talking about...
-[[ Orton goes dead serious.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] ........ME!!!
-[[ He points to the Tron.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] SHOW IT!!
-[[ And the entry changes... For God's sake.. This can't be legitimate.. ]]-
-[[ It is. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Now that... Is a Hall of Famer that you can be proud of!!
-[[ The fans are throwing garbage into the ring now.. Orton pays no attention to them as he continues.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And before we go any further.. I'd like to introduce all of you to a few of my guests... Now, you're going to wonder why these men would ever come down here together.. Because... Let's face it.. None of us really see eye to eye... But in the wake of this........ Tragedy... We have all put our differences aside for one night.. To pay homage to this great, great man.. Who selflessly put over so many of his peers during his prime.. And after his prime as well....
-[[ Orton points to the entrance ramp... ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Ladies and gentlemen..... THE CHRISTIAN COALITION!!
-[[ Christian steps out onto the ramp with the world championship over his shoulder, looking a bit beaten up after his match with Benoit.. Trish Stratus, Tyson Tomko, and Jim Cornette follow him out, all looking smug.. The fans boo them loudly as they make their way to the ring... Ken Kennedy and the Big Show are standing behind the Ortons with the caskets resting near them...... As the Coalition enters the ring, Orton announces another one.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] ......THE JIHAD!!
-[[ The boos become almost obscenely louder as Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari walk out onto the ramp.. Hassan stops long enough to spit on the ramp and raise his arms, shouting "PRAAAAISE... ALLAAAAAH!!" before entering the ring himself with Daivari holding the ropes.. Everyone in the ring is eyeballing each other.. Even though they've come together to celebrate the death of this man, they still don't trust each other.. Orton has more for the fans.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] The former FOUR TIME.. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... SCOTT STEINER!!
-[[ "Big Poppa Pump" stomps out onto the ramp with Midajah following behind him.. Steiner looks pissed off and he's got something in his hand... What the hell........ What the hell IS that!? It looks like a baseball bat with a wet rag wrapped around the end of it.. Midajah holds the ropes for Steiner and he gets in the ring, staring everyone down through his sun glasses... And then Steiner reaches into his pocket.. And.. What is that? HE HAS A LIGHTER!! Scott Steiner sticks the lighter to the wet rag and it goes up in flames!! Christian begins frantically waving his arms around and he grabs the microphone out of Randy Orton's hand.. ]]-
[ Christian ] WHOA!! Hey, come on.. Hold on just a second, Steiner.....
-[[ Everyone goes dead silent, thinking Christian is about to die. ]]-
[ Christian ] You're not lighting these caskets on fire....
-[[ Christian then turns, grips the edges of Taz's casket.. And flips it over!! The lid comes off and the fans gasp in horror as Taz's remains go scattering across the ring, as well as tons of ashes and crispy skin floating through the air and settling near the front row.. Christian excitedly begins yelling. ]]-
[ Christian ] I TOLD YOU, TAZ!! I TOLD YOU I'D FLIP OVER YOUR CASKET!!
-[[ Jim Cornette leans casually over to Tomko. ]]-
[ Jim Cornette ] Boy's done gone and lost his god damn mind, Tomko.
-[[ Tomko's expression remains still. ]]-
[ Tyson Tomko ] Yep.
-[[ Christian then motions toward the caskets.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Knock yourself out.
-[[ Steiner takes a step forward and presses the flaming bat to Taz's casket.. It goes up in flames like nobody's business and within seconds, the fire has spread across the ring and onto the casket of his mother, thus melting the Wal-Mart bag full of his father... The wrestlers all scatter out of the ring, watching the podium go up, as well as the ropes.. The apron.. And even one of the Druids doesn't get away fast enough, quickly going up in smoke and falling limp into the flames on top of Taz's casket, forcing it to collapse.. Everyone stands there silently as the fans boo, watching the entire ring go up in one of the biggest bonfires anyone has ever witnessed..... Ken Kennedy and the Big Show stare blankly at the flames. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Ya' know, Show.. I don't want to sound gay or anything...
-[[ Big Show doesn't even move.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] But I think fire is really romantic.
-[[ The Big Show slowly turns his head toward Kennedy, looking surprised. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] ......What?
-[[ Scott Steiner wanders closer to the flames, looking pissed off.. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] How's this for pissin' on ten years of your fuckin' life, you fuckin' piece o' shit?
-[[ Steiner then pulls his tights down.. And PISSES IN THE FLAMES!! SCOTT STEINER IS PISSING ON THE VERY SAME FLAMES THAT ARE DISINTEGRATING TAZ AND HIS FAMILY'S BODIES!! SCOTT STEINER DOES NOT CARE!! Steiner finishes up, pulls his tights up and drags Midajah to the back, having done everything he wanted to do... ]]-
-[[ Christian, still holding the microphone and standing next to Orton speaks.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Ya' know, Orton.. I've been wondering since last week....
-[[ Orton looks at Christian with a "Yeah?" look on his face. ]]-
[ Christian ] How did it feel to get to be the man who finally killed Taz?
-[[ Orton smirks.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] You really want to know?
-[[ Muhammad Hassan steps up, smiling evilly. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Please... Tell us, Randy..
-[[ Orton looks up, thinking.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Well... It felt a little like.......
-[[ Orton's eyes go WILD.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] ..Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight.. Gonna grab some afternoon delight..
-[[ Christian nods, smiling.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] My motto's always been, "when it's right, it's right," Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night?
-[[ Christian, Kennedy, and the Big Show lean into Orton's microphone.. ]]-
WHEN EVERYTHING'S A LITTLE
CLEARER IN THE LIGHT OF DAAAAY!!
-[[ Huge boos. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] THINKIN' OF YOU'S WORKIN' UP MY APPETITE!!
[ Christian ] Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite!!
-[[ Hassan slides in, swatting his headdress out of his eyes.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] AND THE THOUGHT.. OF LOVING YOU... IS SO EXCITING!!
-[[ Orton throws his arms out to the side in the ".....HEY!" pose. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] SKY ROCKETS IN FLIGHT!!
-[[ Kennedy bellows, making a wavy motion with his hand.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] PHHEEEEEWWWW..........
[ Christian | Show | Orton | Hassan ] AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!
[ Ken Kennedy ] ..WOOOOP!!
[ Khosrow Daivari ] OOLOO!! AHKMED!! ENSALLAH!! AFTERNOON.. DELIGHT!!
-[[ Orton laughs.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I think you guys got it..
-[[ They all break right back into it. ]]-
[ Christian | Orton | Kennedy | Show | Hassan ] ..AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!
-[[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton shakes his head.. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] I don't know, son.. That sounds a little CRAZY..
-[[ Kennedy shakes his head, looking suddenly disgusted. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Yeah, you've got major mental problems, man..
[ Christian ] Yeah, you really do..
[ Ken Kennedy ] ..Man.
-[[ Nevermind. ]]-
[ Christian | Orton | Kennedy | Show | Hassan ] ..AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!
-[[ The fans boo as the flames render the ring and the bodies inside of it into nothingness.. ]]-
-[[ Fade out. ]]-
' Rest in peace, cock sucker.