-[[ The door to the dressing room is opened and in steps Val Venis and Kristal Marshall.. Venis is speaking in a serious manner, as if he is trying to convince her of something.. She is listening but doesn't seem sold on what he is saying.. Nevertheless, he is persistent.. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] I'm telling you.. The in-ring aspect of our sport is right up your alley.. You would love it.. You've got the attitude... And you've damn sure got the body for it.. And with myself and Orlando training you, what could go wrong?

-[[ She isn't sold.. At all. ]]-

[ Kristal Marshall ] What makes you think I could hang with the girls around here? Don't get me wrong, I could take anyone I wanted in a street fight.. 'Cause they ain't no little white girl that can touch... This... But in a ring? With rules? I... Don't think so..

[ Val Venis ] What makes you so different from Traci? Or Trish?

-[[ She appears to be thinking.. ]]-

[ Kristal Marshall ] Well, I'm a little older...

[ Val Venis ] So!?

[ Kristal Marshall ] And my...

-[[ She slowly turns around, her back to Val.. ]]-

[ Kristal Marshall ] Butt is a little bit bigger..

-[[ Val's eyes go wide.. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] Ain't nothin' wrong with that!!

-[[ She seems flattered. ]]-

[ Kristal Marshall ] Val.. Let's--

-[[ A book slams shut, startling them both... They thought they were alone in the room.. Val's eyes settle on a man in the corner of the room.. Venis quickly becomes furious and forces Kristal behind him. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] What the HELL are you doing in my god damn dressing room!?

-[[ Randy Orton smiles, wearing a black suit and clutching a Bible in his hand, it is clear that he is prepared for his eulogy tonight.. He doesn't say a word.. Venis turns to Kristal and barks an order.. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] Kristal.. Leave.

[ Kristal Marshall ] But.. What if--

-[[ He yells. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] LEAVE, WOMAN!!

-[[ She turns quickly and leaves the room.. Venis doesn't take his eyes off of Orton.. Orton uses his thumb to thump the Bible, which is the only sound in the room now.. Orton waves his hand, acknowledging two chairs in front of him.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Have a seat, Val.. We need to talk..

-[[ Venis is reluctant, so Orton sits down first to assure him that there are no surprise attacks coming.. Venis walks slowly over and sits next to Orton.. Just as he is firmly seated, "Cowboy" Bob Orton emerges from the shadows.. Venis' eyes go wide... Bob puts his hands up in a defensive manner.. Venis is clearly upset. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] The fuck is THIS!?

-[[ Bob speaks up, his voice actually shaking a bit. ]]-

[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] I ain't meanin' ya' no harm, Val.. I'm here for Randy's protection.. I know what kind o'lunatic you can turn into sometimes... I can't afford to have you go off and hurt my boy..

-[[ Before Venis can reply, Randy speaks in a cocky, matter-of-fact tone.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] So.. Val, which 'R' are you feeling right now?

-[[ Venis looks confused. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] Excuse me?

-[[ Orton puts his hand up, shaking his head.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Sorry, I should have been more clear.. It's been said that the number one killer of old people.. Is retirement.. Because they have nothing left to life for.. No reason to wake up in the morning.. If someone has a job.. They tend to live longer so that they can do it..

-[[ Venis shifts uncomfortably in his seat.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I assume the same saying applies for our kind.. So, now that your greatest enemy has unfortunately ventured into the great beyond... Which 'R' do you feel... Relief..... Or regret?

-[[ A pause.. Val's voice is grim. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] A little bit of both, I suppose.

-[[ Orton smirks. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Of course, you do.. But you have to feel one of them more than you feel the other..

-[[ Venis looks down, breathing heavily.. He looks back up and stares Orton right in the eye. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] Regret.

-[[ Orton nods. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Thought so.

-[[ Orton leans in close to Venis, their faces only inches apart.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] How does it feel knowing that, in mere minutes, I did something that you never could.. I ended Taz.. Forever.. When all you ever did in the ring with him.. Was tap out....... Or BLACK OUT!!

-[[ Venis is shaking with fury.. A cocky smile stretches across Orton's face.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] A lot of legends are coming back lately.. Returning to their home here in SGW.. Hart.. Steiner.. You might say.. I've got a lot of killing ahead of me.. A lot more stops on the Legend Killer Tour... But the Legend Killer operates on a first come, first serve basis...

-[[ Val doesn't say a word.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] And YOU.. Were here first..

-[[ A pause and then Orton stands up, looking down on Venis.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I just wanted to let you know.. Face to face.. And man to man.. That I feel no remorse.. And I feel no regret... Without a moment's hesitation, Venis, I killed your greatest rival.. Both in legend... AND IN LIFE!!

-[[ Orton now appears angry as he breathes heavily, right down on Venis.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] And you're the next stop on the Legend Killer Tour.. Two thousand and six is going to be the year of the Legend Killer, Val, and I've got you in my sights... So, go find your little hood rat and tell her everything is okay.. Tell her.. How you feel about her once and for all... And most importantly.. Tell her goodbye.. Because sooner.. Rather than later... I... AM GOING........ TO END YOU!!

-[[ Venis looks up at Orton, his face red with anger.. Orton stares down at him a cocky, yet serious look on his face.. Orton looks over at his father and jerks his thumb toward the door.. "Cowboy" Bob nods.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Come on, dad... Let's go..

-[[ The Ortons leave the room as Val sits motionless.. Breathing heavily.. Then Val shakes his head and stands up.. He's not going to take this.. He can't..... He's Val Venis.. Solid Gold Wrestling's proudest son..... Venis stands up from his seat and charges for the door.. He flings it open, steps into the hallway and yells.. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] ORTON!!

-[[ No answer, only a dry laugh.. Venis instantly recognizes the source.. ]]-

[ Muhammad Hassan ] I'm afraid.. Randy Orton.. Has already.. DEPARTED!!

-[[ Hassan is in his white robe and head dress.. Daivari stands behind him in his usual suit.. Venis stares a hole straight through him.. Hassan is smiling.. He takes a few steps closer to Venis, his eyes never leaving him.. There's a tremendous amount of joy in Hassan's tone.. ]]-

[ Muhammad Hassan ] Well, Val.. It would seem that you have emerged victorious in your little.. Tournament.. And NOW.. The whole world.. IS DYING TO KNOW!! Who you're coming after.... But I think you and I.. We already know.. But I will generously give you the opportunity to reconsider.... Because I still don't think you fully realize exactly who is holding.. This... Championship belt.... I mean, after all, Val.. Unlike you... I...... AM UNDEFEATED!!

-[[ Daivari goes into a frenzy.. ]]-


-[[ When Hassan sees that Venis isn't going to answer him, he storms up on him, bringing him face to face.. Venis' gaze does not waver in the least.. Hassan begins yelling in Val's face, becoming angry that Venis won't speak.. ]]-

[ Muhammad Hassan ] Why the wait, Venis?! Trying to think of someone to get me out of your hair?! LIKE TAZ!? Since you obviously couldn't get it done yourself!? Why don't you go get your friend, Randy Orton, to sneak up on ME in the dead of night.. AND KILL ME TOO!! Because compared to you... AND YOUR EFFORTS SO FAR IN SGW...... I AM A LEGEND.. IN MY OWN TIME!!

-[[ Venis snaps forward and grabs Hassan by the throat.. Venis plows in Hassan hard, shoving him into the wall and actually managing to lift him a few inches off of the floor.. Hassan stares down in Venis with fury in his eyes.. Venis is breathing so hard that he's spitting on the exhale.. Daivari is throwing a huge fit behind him.. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] You shut the fuck up, Daivari!!

-[[ Daivari immediately goes silent.. Venis turns back to Hassan.. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] And you.. Hassan... When I want that belt... IF.. I WANT THAT BELT!! I'll TAKE IT from you!!

-[[ A pause as they stare at each other.. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] As a matter of fact.. Screw waiting to reveal when I want my title shot.. I'm going to reveal it.. NEXT WEEK!! And when you hear the words coming out of my mouth, Hassan... You sit back and you begin worrying.. Because I promise you.. THERE IS NOTHING.. YOU CAN DO...... TO STOP ME!!

-[[ Hassan looks furious. ]]-

[ Val Venis ] So, make sure to keep your head dress out of your eyes and  keep them glued to the monitor, sand monkey, because next week... Our future.. MY FUTURE.. BECOMES CRYSTAL CLEAR!!

-[[ Venis releases Hassan.. Neither man makes a move... And then Hassan spits in the floor.. ]]-

[ Muhammad Hassan ] Your future.. And your ticket to the afterlife... Is staring you.. Right in the face..

-[[ Venis gets a smug look on his face.. And turn and walks away, leaving Hassan and Daivari by themselves.. They stare at Venis as he leaves... Daivari is visibly more furious as he shakes his head, mumbling to himself.. ]]-

[ Khosrow Daivari ] En sabbah.. Mancala, bitch..

-[[ Hassan just nods, staring down the hall where Venis disappeared. ]]-

-[[ A massive, shirtless frame walks into the shot and sits down in the chair.. You see the face, you're staring at the former four time SGW World Heavyweight champion, "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner.. He's wearing sunglasses and there is no recognizable emotion on his face.. ]]-

[ Camera Man ] You ready?

[ Scott Steiner ] Shut the fuck up.

-[[ Silence. ]]-

[ Scott Steiner ] You wanted people to sit down and talk about that pudgy, orange fat-shit.. Well, here I am, mother fucker, and I'll tell you exactly what the fuck I think and how the fuck I feel about somebody finally sendin' that asshole screamin' into the afterlife!!

-[[ A pause. ]]-

[ Scott Steiner ] I only stepped in the ring one time with that bitch.. SGW World Title on the line!! That alone tells you who won because Taz is a bottom-feeding bastard!! He never done nothin' but make other people look good and win titles I wouldn't piss on and when I slapped the Steiner Recliner on that wannabe tough guy piece of shit.. It felt just the same as when I put anyone else in the move!! Because big, bad Taz ain't shit!! He's never been shit and never will be.. Because he's dead.. AND HE SUCKS!!

-[[ Steiner seems really angry as he continues.. ]]-

[ Scott Steiner ] I put his ass in the Recliner and he started screamin' like a little bitch!! Blood was gushin' out of his head and face because I went to work on his ass with a lead pipe and in no time, that bitch was tappin' out, but I didn't let go.. The referee was tellin' me to let go and the fans were were screamin' and cryin' because they ain't never seen nobody die before.. Referee tells me I'm gonna choke him to death.. And I tell him YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I AM!! I wanted his ass to die!! I wanted to feel his fuckin' soul slip through my fingers!!

-[[ Steiner smiles. ]]-

[ Scott Steiner ] This guy was supposed to be a legend!? The only history this guy made is bein' the god damn steppin' stone for everybody that actually WON the world title!! So fuck Taz!! Taz sucked in Solid Gold Wrestling.. He sucked in New Era Wrestling!! And he sure as hell sucked in AWE!! He sucked in life.. And now he sucks in DEATH.. Suckin' Satan's dick!! Because that's where the fuck he belongs... On his knees.. Suckin' dick.. Or kissin' my ass!!

-[[ Steiner points at nothing in particular and yells.. ]]-


-[[ A pause. ]]-

[ Scott Steiner ] HOLLER.... IF YA' HEAR ME!!

-[[ Steiner stands and walks out of the room. ]]-

Cactus Jack(c) versus John Bradshaw Layfield versus Kurt Angle
Title on the Line: SGW Hardcore Championship
Stipulation: None
Referee: Mark Yeaton

-[[ JBL charges at Cactus Jack right out of the gate and begins clubbing him across the back and head with vicious left and right forearms.. Cactus refuses to go down and as JBL continues punishing him, Kurt Angle runs up behind him and nails him with a German suplex!! JBL staggers back to his feet and Kurt catches him around the waist.. Belly-to-belly suplex!! Cactus Jack rolls out of the ring and begins digging underneath it.. And he drags out a garbage can full of weapons!! Cactus slings the can over into the ring and Kurt Angle swarms on it quickly, pulling a computer keyboard out of it!! JBL staggers to his feet and Kurt breaks the computer keyboard over his head!! Computer keys go all over the place!! Cactus Jack rolls back in the ring and spins Kurt Angle around.. Double arm DDT on the garbage can!! Cactus then lifts the garbage can up, still filled with weapons and drops it across Kurt Angle's midsection!! Cactus then turns around and walks right into a big boot from JBL!! JBL rolls out of the ring and begins digging underneath the ring.. He finds a table...... And a crutch!! JBL slides the table inside of the ring and goes in holding the crutch.. Cactus Jack is pulling himself back to his feet and JBL nails him with the crutch!! Cactus tumbles out of the ring.. Kurt Angle is up, bleeding from his forehead, and JBL breaks the crutch over his back!! Kurt Angle yells in pain!! Cactus Jack crawls back inside the ring.. JBL begins setting up the table and he grabs Cactus Jack.. He lays Jack on the table and punches him in the face a few times.. JBL goes up to the top rope.. He's going to slam Cactus through the table!! But here comes Kurt Angle!! Angle flies to the top rope in no time.. And belly-to-belly suplexes JBL off of the top rope, onto Cactus Jack, and through the table!! All three men lay motionless in the ring as the fans yell "HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!" Kurt Angle is the first man to his feet, but he looks totally out of it... JBL begins pulling himself out of the wreckage.. And Cactus Jack is starting to stir.. All three men are coming to.. And Cactus Jack charges at Kurt Angle.. And Angle backdrops him over the top rope!! Angle begins to climb through the ropes to go after Cactus some more, but as he sticks his head through the ropes... CRACK!! ANGLE'S BEEN HIT WITH A CHAIR..... BY CHYNA!! CHYNA BLASTED ANGLE WITH A CHAIR!! And Angle turns right around, dazed.. Into the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!! JBL covers him, looking near death himself.. One!! Two!! THREE!! We have a new hardcore champion!! Mark Yeaton hands JBL the belt as he looks totally out of it... JBL staggers up the ramp, bleeding profusely, raising the championship in victory.. ]]-

Winner and New Champion: John Bradshaw Layfield via Pin Fall

-[[ Christian is sitting in the back with Tomko, Trish, and Cornette all around him.. Christian has the SGW World Championship belt over his shoulder.. He stops talking every few seconds to look at it and admire it.. Or use his shirt to dust it a bit.. As they're all talking off in their own little world, Ken Kennedy, the Big Show, and Lollipop walk up to them.. Kennedy and Show have their tag team titles over their shoulders.. Kennedy seems more serious than usual.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] So, Christian... We cool?

-[[ Christian looks confused.. ]]-

[ Christian ] Why wouldn't we be?

-[[ Kennedy shrugs his shoulders.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Well, the whole... We hate you because you took out Jeff Jarrett thing, I suppose..

-[[ Christian shakes his head casually.. ]]-

[ Christian ] No biggie.. How's those belts treatin' ya'?

-[[ Christian smiles, seemingly admiring their gold.. Kennedy looks down at the belt on his shoulder.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Well enough.. They'll treat us much better when we make the history books with them..

-[[ Christian raises an eyebrow.. ]]-

[ Christian ] Make the history books with them?

-[[ The Big Show gets a smug look on his face.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] We're only weeks away from being the longest reigning tag team champions.. Of all time..

-[[ Kennedy smiles, nodding along.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] And there's no team in Solid Gold good enough.. To take'em from us..

-[[ Christian looks on at the two of them, obviously not enjoying what he's hearing.. Obviously, because he and Edge ARE the current holders of the longest tag title reign in SGW history.... Christian speaks, mock-congratulatory.. ]]-

[ Christian ] Well.. Good luck with that, guys..

-[[ Kennedy and Show laugh.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] We don't need luck... C-DIDDY!! Save THAT for our opponents!!

-[[ Kennedy slaps Christian on the shoulder.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] See you in the main event tonight, PAL!!

-[[ They walk off, chuckling with their tag team titles... Christian watches them go.. ]]-

[ Christian ] Yeah... See ya' around.

-[[ He smirks.. ]]-

-[[ The usual black backdrop is obscured by the Canadian flag.. Mike Awesome and Lance Storm are both seated in the folding chairs now.. Mike Awesome is sitting leaned forward with both of his fists clenched tightly.. He looks like he's ready to dive out of his seat at any second and start throwing punches.. Lance Storm remains cool and collected, wearing a pair of jeans a white t-shirt with a red maple leaf in the center.. This was obviously filmed before his match from earlier tonight.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] I hope you don't mind me changing your backdrop.. I think this one is much more.. Homie..


Storm grits his teeth, trying to ignore him.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Anyway.. Back to the task at hand.. How I feel about the passing of our beloved Human Suplex Machine, Peter "Taz" Senerca... To be perfectly honest, I did not know Peter that well.. We spent only a short time together in Extreme Championship Wrestling.. But one thing is for sure..

Storm pauses. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] If half of the stories I have heard about this man are true, then what Randy Orton did, as much as I despise the man, was the exact brand of comeuppance that Taz deserved..


[ Lance Storm ] Get high if it lets you, indeed, Mike.. In the future, when other superstars look back on this man.. This tiny, angry man.. They will find that his actions in the past.. Justified his brutal end.. Much like the brutal end I have planned for Michael Shane in our mixed tag team match tonight...

He looks down for a moment and looks back up... ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] A man has died here.. And his memory.. Will live on.. For better... Or, most likely, for worse.. But for now, something far more relevant dwells in the back of my mind that I must, quite simply, get out in the open....

A pause. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Did I see cucumber sandwiches on that buffet?

The camera man nods up and down. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Splendid.

Fade out. ]]-

Michael Shane & Traci Brooks versus Lance Storm & Major Gunnz
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: None
Referee: Scott James

-[[ Traci and Major Gunnz start the match.. The two circle each other, looking for an opening and Traci makes the first move, ducking down quickly and catching Major Gunnz by the foot and tripping her.. Major Gunnz goes down hard and Traci hooks her leg, throwing her into a Boston crab!! Major Gunnz fights it, trying not to tap out and Lance Storm sees that she can't escape it.. Storm jumps into the ring and runs and knees Traci right in the chest!! Michael Shane dives into the ring and Scott James stops Michael Shane and forces him back into his corner and while Shane is distracted, Storm and Gunnz hit Traci with a double suplex!! Major Gunnz goes to the corner and when James turns around, Storm tells him he tagged in!! Scott James believes him!! Storm works over Traci Brooks and whips her into the ropes.. He goes for a standing side kick but Traci baseball slides the attack and tags in Michael Shane!! Michael Shane charges in as a house of fire and begins putting the lefts and rights to Storm!! Shane puts it to him and Storm is forced into the ropes but Michael Shane won't let up!! Shane keeps beating him down and whips him into the ropes.. Dropkick!! Storm takes the impact and rolls out of the ring, holding his head... Michael Shane follows him out and catches Storm and throws him back inside the ring.. Storm staggers back to his feet and Shane jumps onto the apron and sprinboards off of the top rope.. And Storm catches him in midair with a SUPERKICK!! The fans "OHHHHHH!!" in sympathy pain and Storm turns around with his arms raised in victory.. And walks right into an RKO!!! Randy Orton smiles, staring down at Storm.. The referee begins calling for the bell and Orton walks over and picks up the television championship.. Storm and Shane are both down and out.. And Orton raises the belt over his head.... Is this what we're going to be seeing at Heartbreaker!? ]]-

Winners: Lance Storm & Major Gunnz via Disqualification

-[[ After everyone in the previous match has cleared the ring, Maria's music hits to a huge pop.. Maria walks down the ramp, waving at the fans and clapping hands with a big smile on her face.. Just like last week, the fans are loving every second of Maria they can get their hands on..... Maria gets in the ring and takes a microphone from Gary Michael Cappetta.. He steps out of the ring and she begins speaking in a rapid fire, excited tone.. ]]-

[ Maria ] HEY, EVERYBODY!!

-[[ The fans, in unison, respond with "HEY, MARIA!" She laughs and continues.. ]]-

[ Maria ] I'm out here with another big announcement!!

-[[ She waits for the huge pop to die down.. ]]-

[ Maria ] I wasn't going to say anything because he told me he didn't want any attention brought to him for being at a wrestling show... But since everybody seems to be really angry and wanting to bad mouth poor, dead Taz, I thought I'd introduce him anyway to make everybody HAPPY AGAIN~!! YAY, HAPPY PEOPLE!!

-[[ She then points to the front row, jumping up and down.. ]]-


-[[ The fans pop huge and the camera pans around to reveal that Tom Cruise is, indeed, seated in the front row and sitting next to him is Katie Holmes.. A huge "CRUISE! CRUISE! CRUISE!" chant begins... Maria begins leading it.. She then stops and speaks again.. ]]-

[ Maria ] Come in the ring, Tom!

-[[ Tom shakes his head and motions for her to continue without him.. She pouts.. ]]-

[ Maria ] Come in the ring... PLEEEEEEASE!! PLEEEEEASE, TOM!!

-[[ He stands up and motions that he can't.. ]]-

[ Maria ] Does everyone here want to see Tom Cruise get in the ring!?

-[[ Huge pop. ]]-

[ Maria ] Come on, Tom!! NOW YOU HAVE TO!! You can't disappoint your fans!!

-[[ Tom gives in and crawls over the guardrail.. Security makes sure he gets over okay and he climbs inside of the ring.. The fans are going wild for Tom Cruise.. Maria looks so excited that she might piss herself.. ]]-

[ Maria ] Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise!! WOW!! I can't believe you're in the ring with me!!

-[[ Cruise looks flattered.. He puts his arm around her and she looks like she's going to faint.. He leans into her microphone and begins speaking, she listens intently to every word that comes out of his mouth.. ]]-

[ Tom Cruise ] Maria... I'll do anything for one of my fans.. Thanks for inviting me into the ring.. But I really should be getting back to my seat..... Thank all of you for your support.. And go see MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THREE!!

-[[ Massive pop and Tom Cruise makes his way back to the ropes, but as soon as he lays his hands on them, Maria yells into the microphone and what he hears stops him dead in his tracks... ]]-


-[[ He turns around with a 'what the fuck' look on his face and begins shaking his head "no." ]]-


-[[ Cruise runs up to her and cups his hand over her microphone, trying to stop her.. ]]-

[ Tom Cruise ] What are you doing? I can't.. Wrestle!

-[[ Maria nods her head up and down hard. ]]-

[ Maria ] But you said you'd do anything for a fan!!

[ Tom Cruise ] ..But.. That's asking a little much!!

[ Maria ] Well, I'm a fan!! I'm, like, your biggest fan EVER.. And I want you to wrestle at Heartbreaker!!

-[[ Huge pop.. ]]-

[ Tom Cruise ] Maria...... No. It's not happening.. I've never even wrestled in my entire life!!

-[[ The fans begin booing as Cruise goes to exit the ring again.. As he steps out onto the apron, the boos get so loud that he can't hear himself think.. Maria looks like she's going to start crying.. But then the look on Tom Cruise's face tells you that the reaction of the fans is touching him..... He can't.. Disappoint.. His fans... Cruise turns around and goes back inside the ring.. The fans begin buzzing.. Cruise takes the microphone from Maria and stares at it as if he's having to think this over real hard and real fast..... And then he says it.. ]]-

[ Tom Cruise ] I'm in...

-[[ Huge pop.. Maria looks really excited.. ]]-

[ Tom Cruise ] Anything.. For my fans.....

-[[ Tom Cruise then makes a huge sprint for the turnbuckles, climbs to the middle and screams into the microphone. ]]-


-[[ He hops off and says into the microphone... ]]-

[ Tom Cruise ] And I'll be... At Heartbreaker...

-[[ He gives Maria a hug and exits the ring to return to his seat.. TOM CRUISE IS GOING TO BE AT HEARTBREAKER!! He's going to be... WRESTLING!? In the WORLD TITLE MATCH!? What the hell has Maria done now!? ]]-

-[[ Ken Kennedy and the Big Show are sitting in a couple of folding chairs now.. Both men look unbelievably distraught, clutching their SGW Tag Team championships, which leads you to question exactly what kind of relationship they had with Taz considering they were never on Solid Gold Wrestling television together at any point in their careers.. Before you can question their integrity any further, Ken Kennedy begins blubbering out a story through tears that are so exaggerated that they must be fake.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] I remember the first time.. That Taz and I hung out together.. It was a dark.. AND GLOOMY.. Night.. And we drove around all night looking for a bar that was still open.. Eventually, he stopped and talked to a guy, from whom he bought many... AND I DO MEAN MANY... Many, many drugs..

Big Show shakes his head. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] Shame.

[ Ken Kennedy ] Yes, it really was...

Kennedy wipes his eyes.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] After Taz took at least forty loritabs without batting an eye, we drove around for a bit longer and he parked the vehicle in a vacant lot... I asked him why we were stopping there...... And he said..

Kennedy cups his ear, like old school Hogan. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] ..Eh? I can't hear chu', brudda..

Kennedy smiles as if reminiscing about Taz is bringing him great joy.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] He couldn't hear too well, you know.. Deafness will do that to you.. Anyway.. I repeated my thoughtful and incredibly relevant question and he heard me this time... And he said.. Chyeah, brudda'.. 'Dis is da' bar..

Kennedy's impression of Taz is horrible.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] We waited there in that parking lot for ten years.. And sure enough, some architects came by and built a bar around us... On opening night, Taz ordered one single shot of whiskey and drank it... And proceeded to burn the entire place to the ground..

The Big Show begins snickering.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Over the flames, I could hear Taz screaming.. MY MUTHA' USED TA' TELL ME... ALWAYS LEAVE THINGS DA' WAY CHU FOUND'EM, BRUDDA!!

Kennedy and the Big Show both begin laughing like hyenas... ]]-

[ Camera Man ] For Christ's sake.. You guys didn't even KNOW Taz, did you?

The laughter dies down a bit.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] No.. No, we didn't... We just wanted access to the delicious... AND FREEEEE... Memorial buffet..

A pause. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] I really enjoyed the snow crab.

The Big Show bellows out.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] I'M FUUULLLLLL!!!

Kennedy and Show laugh loudly again as the camera man angrily shuts off the camera. ]]-

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin versus Brock Lesnar
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Street Fight
Referee: Charles Robinson

-[[ Brock Lesnar makes his entrance and "Stone Cold" nails him as he steps out onto the stage!! Austin and Lesnar begin trading punches like mad men and Austin gains the upper hand, punching away at Lesnar until they're halfway down the ramp.. He punches Lesnar so hard that he goes toppling backward over the guardrail and into the fans!! The fans scatter as Austin hops the rail but Lesnar is waiting on him and catches him around the waist.. Lesnar charges and rams Austin back first into the guardrail, trying to injure his back.. Lesnar then clotheslines Austin right back over the rail and onto the ramp!! Lesnar hops back over and grabs Austin up off of the ramp and lifts him in the air.. He's going to F-5 Austin on the ramp!! NO!! Austin slips out behind him and Lesnar spins around.. Austin drops him with a stiff punch!! Lesnar staggers back up and Austin punches him until they're at ringside.. Austin begins driving knees into Lesnar's midsection and then whips him under the bottom rope and back into the ring!! Austin follows him in but Lesnar is already up and begins putting the boots to him.. Lesnar pulls Austin off of the mat.. Lesnar whips Austin into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Austin ducks it and bounces off of the ropes.. Lesnar turns.... THESZ PRESS!! PUNCHES!! Austin is laying it to Lesnar!! Austin rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair.. He rolls back inside the ring and Lesnar is standing up.. Austin goes for a chairshot, but Lesnar blocks the shot and rips the chair out of Austin's hand.. And he pastes Austin across the head!! Lesnar drops the chair.. He covers Austin.. One!! Two!! Th-- Lesnar picked Austin up!! Lesnar shakes his head, smiling.. He pulls Austin off of the mat and puts him on his shoulders.. He's going to F-5 him on the chair!! He goes for it.. And Austin spins out of the move and lands on his feet...... KICK WHAM STUNNER!! Lesnar stands straight up, staggers around, but doesn't go down.. Austin grabs the chair.. CRACK!! Lesnar's staggers a bit more.. CRACK!! Lesnar still isn't going down.. Austin throws the chair down..... KICK WHAM STUNNER AGAIN!! Lesnar goes down!! Austin covers him.. One!! Two!! THREE!! "STONE COLD" HAS WON THE MATCH!! Austin celebrates with some beers as the fans roar in approval.. ]]-

Winner: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin via Pin Fall

-[[ Michael Shane is walking down the hallway with Traci Brooks by his side.. He looks furious that, once again, he has been screwed out of a hard earned victory.. He goes to enter his dressing room with his head down when someone stops him.. The voice is vaguely familiar... ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] Hey.. Shane...

Michael Shane turns around and looks shocked to see Sanders standing there with Mark Jindrak and Trinity at his side.. Michael Shane is too taken by surprise to speak, given how Sanders left the company last month.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] Long time, man.. How you been?

A pause. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] Didn't the Boogeyman eat you alive?

Sanders puts his hands on his hips and rolls his eyes.. ]]-

[ Mark Jindrak ] For your info, friend.. We got choke slammed through the ring and into an endless vat of worms.. And ALSO.. For your information.. It was disgusting.. And we'd rather not talk about it anymore..

Sanders puts his hand up.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] Enough, Mark.. For Christ's sake..

He turns back to Shane.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] Shane.. I just wanted to tell ya'.. I spent all my time in Solid Gold Wrestlin' ragin' against the machine.. Doin' all I could to make Jeff Jarrett's world a livin' hell.. And ever since I been gone, I've been seein' you do the same thing with Randy Orton and the rest o'Jeff Jarrett's buddies..

Shane nods.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] And I just wanted to tell ya', man.. You need any help with any of those guys or even Lance Storm.. You just give me and Jindrak a holler.. And we'll make sure those guys are S.. O.. L.. And you know what that means..

[ Michael Shane ] I'll keep that in mind, bro..

Alex Shelley and Jimmy Rave wander into the shot with Prince Nana walking behind them.. They stop when they see Shane and Sanders talking.. They don't seem to be amused by this get-together... ]]-

[ Alex Shelley ] Michael Shane.. Mike Sanders.. The hell is THIS? The Losers Anonymous Convention?

Rave and Shelley laugh, Nana stands solemnly behind them.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] I guess so.. Afterall, why else would YOU two be here?

Sanders smirks.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] Good job in your tag match tonight, by the way.. Better luck next time, I guess..

Jimmy Rave has a smug look on his face. ]]-

[ Jimmy Rave ] I guess so..

Alex Shelley seems even more pissed by the comment than Rave.. ]]-

[ Alex Shelley ] Screw better luck next time.. Who do you think you are talking to.. THE EMBASSY.. Like that? I'm throwing down the challenge right now.. If you guys think you're better than us.. Then back it up in the ring next week..

Sanders scoffs.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] What did you say? What the HELL did you just say? Whatever, you idiots.. If that's what it's gonna take to shut you guys up.. Then that's fine by us.. Right, Shane?

Michael Shane shrugs. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] Works for me.

[ Mike Sanders ] Good!! See you guys next week.... Bitches.

Shelley and Rave start to walk past them.. ]]-

[ Alex Shelley ] You're the bitches.... Bitches.

[ Jimmy Rave ] Yeah.. See you guys next week..

Shelley, Rave, and Nana walk away, leaving Shane and Sanders by themselves.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] ..Bitches.

Sanders turns back to Shane.. ]]-

[ Mike Sanders ] Good talk.. See ya' next week..

Sanders and his group walk away, leaving Shane and Traci by themselves.. They turn and enter the dressing room.. Shane begins removing his gear and tossing it aside when he notices something peculiar on the table.. A to-go box.. One of the white, foam ones like you get in restaurants.. There's a note on the top.. Shane rips it off.. "To Michael Shane - From a Fan." He opens it up and there's a gigantic slab of steak inside with a salad on the side.. A fork and knife waits on him next to the container.. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] Weird.. Food from a fan..

Traci walks over, her eyes go wide. ]]-

[ Traci Brooks ] That looks delicious, Michael.. You eat up, I'm going to go to the rest room.. I'll be back in a few..

Michael Shane sits down and digs in.. He takes several bites before he notices something.. His face contorts a bit and then turns into a smile as he notices the distinct flavor.. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] This is the best steak I've ever had.. I wonder what kind it is..

A voice emanates from the darkest corner of the room.. A voice that immediately alarms Michael Shane.. He springs up from his seat, holding the knife in front of him.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] It's a New York strip..

Orton casually walks out, in a suit, with a big smile on his face.. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] What're you... What have you....

Shane screams. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] DID YOU POISON ME, ORTON!?!

Orton almost laughs.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I didn't poison you, Shane.. That steak is perfectly safe..

Shane looks down at the steak, then back up at Orton.. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] Then.. What is this?

Orton walks over to the table and stands across it from Shane.. They're only a few feet apart now as Randy Orton begins explaining himself.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I told you.. It's a New York strip, Michael.. Twelve ounces.. Delicious.. And marinated only in the best... Tasmanian spices..

Michael Shane's face goes pale.. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] Tasmanian spices....

He grabs his throat and begins gagging.. ]]-

[ Michael Shane ] Tasmanian spices.. Taz... TAZ... YOU COOKED TAZ AND FED HIM TO ME!?

Orton shrugs.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Well.. He was already cooked, Michael.. I just cut off a piece and put it in the microwave.. But yeah.. Technically... I DID!! I DID FEED YOU TAZ!!

Michael Shane vomits straight into the container and as soon as he comes up for air, Randy Orton RKOS HIM THROUGH THE TABLE!! Michael Shane lays motionless in the rubble, vomit pouring out of his mouth.. Randy Orton kneels next to him and picks up what was left of the Taz steak... And he forces it into Michael Shane's mouth!! Orton stands up, staring down at Shane.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] News flash, Shane.. I'm the Legend Killer.. And at Heartbreaker.. I'm stepping in the ring for the television title.. A belt that still belongs around my waist... And in this match.. There's a real shortage of legends to kill... And quite frankly, after what I did to Taz... I've got what you could call... A bit of a blood lust.. For legends...... Taz was number one.. I'm looking for number two on the list...... And since you want to be friends with Chavo Guerrero.. And you seem so desperately to want to be a legend yourself...

Orton is deadly serious.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I've taken it one step further... And since you're NOWHERE NEAR being a legend.. I put a legend.. INSIDE OF YOU!! So, when I defeat you at Heartbreaker and take back MY championship.. I'm not just beating you... I'm killing Taz........ AGAIN!!

Orton hocks and spits right in Shane's unconscious face... He then stands up and storms out the door, leaving Shane laying flat. ]]-

-[[ Cactus Jack is stumbling through the backstage area, groaning and holding his ribs... He's obviously still feeling the hurt from earlier tonight... He slumps against the wall and drops down, looking up at the ceiling and breathing heavily.. There's a small amount of dried blood on his cheek.. Cactus Jack doesn't appear to be in good shape at all... And then the yellow polo shirt comes into the shot.. It's "The Franchise" Shane Douglas!! Douglas has a microphone in his hand and he begins yelling at Cactus Jack.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] Cactus Jack.. Earlier tonight.. HA HA HA.. YOU LOST.. Your hardcore championship that you just had.. HANDED TO YOU LAST WEEK!! HANDED TO YOU!! AND YOU...... LOST IT!!

-[[ Cactus Jack looks down, ashamed of himself... Douglas keeps on.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] What you did tonight, quite frankly.. MAKES ME SICK!!

-[[ Douglas is smiling, knowing he's getting underneath Cactus Jack's skin.. ]]-


-[[ Cactus Jack begins screaming at him.. ]]-

[ Cactus Jack ] You want the scoop!? YOU WANT THE FUCKING SCOOP!? I'll give you the scoop, Shane... And the scoop is.. From day one here in Solid Gold Wrestling.. I have given everything I have.. I have put my body on the line and I have been given absolutely nothing.... BUT DISRESPECT!! And when someone finally showed me the respect I deserve....

-[[ Cactus looks up, looking almost happy for a second.. ]]-

[ Cactus Jack ] Sweet.. Kind.. Beautiful Maria... Handing me the greatest gift an innocent girl could give a hardcore icon like myself...... The Hardcore championship.. When someone finally makes that effort to give me something I deserve... IT GETS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME... ON THE MEMORIAL SHOW.. FOR A MAN.. THAT MAKES MY PERFORMANCE IN SOLID GOLD WRESTLING UP TO THIS POINT.. LOOK LIKE A FIVE STAR AFFAIR!!

-[[ Cactus begins to calm down a little bit.... ]]-

[ Cactus Jack ] I didn't go out there to wrestle for Taz tonight.. I didn't go out there to wrestle for the fans.. I went out there to fight and prove that I was worth the championship belt that was handed to me last week... And unfortunately, Shane, I fell a little bit short on achieving my goal....

-[[ A man laughs.. Shane Douglas turns and looks up.. Cactus doesn't need to.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] JOHN.. BRADSHAW.. LAYFIELD!! HA HA HA!!

-[[ JBL walks up, smiling with the Hardcore Championship over his shoulder... He casually speaks to Douglas.. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Shane, if you don't mind.. I don't want an interview.. I just wanna talk to my good buddy, Cactus Jack here... Is that gonna be a problem?

-[[ Douglas shakes his head.. Smiling.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] Of course not, Bradshaw.. Knock yourself.. THE FUCK OUT!! HA HA HA!!

-[[ Shane Douglas leaves the area, leaving John Bradshaw Layfield and Cactus Jack by themselves.. Bradshaw kneels down next to Cactus Jack, staring him right in the face.. Cactus Jack doesn't make eye contact with him.. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Look at ya', Cactus.... Pathetic..

-[[ No answer. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Since you don't wanna talk.. I'll talk for ya'.. You wanna know why no one gives you the respect that you think you deserve!? Because you don't DESERVE respect, Cactus Jack.... Because in Solid Gold Wrestling.. In this business.. YOU.. ARE.. GARBAGE!!

-[[ A pause.. Layfield continues.. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] The only reason Maria gave you THIS belt.. Is because SHE.. IS AN IDIOT!! She is a glorified announcer that knows absolutely nothing about this business and WHAT IT TAKES.. TO BE A WRESTLER!! And that is what you two have in common.... You are not a wrestler, Cactus Jack.. You are an average Joe, hardcore wrestling jack ass that would not know what to do if you were forced to get in the ring when weapons were.. Not.. Allowed..

-[[ Cactus looks up at Layfield now.. Watching him as he speaks.. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] And even with weapons involved, you are not worth the DOG SHIT.. ON MY SHOE!! That is why you were the first man eliminated in the Thunderdome and that is why, tonight, I took your championship belt!! And if you think these damn fans care about you and your matches... Rest assured... They don't.. They only feel sorry for you because they know that you and your current state of mind.. Are only likely to lead us into having a Cactus Jack Memorial Show in the very near future..... But the jokes on them.. Because there wouldn't be a Cactus Jack Memorial Show... Because if you died, NO ONE WOULD NOTICE!! They'd just drag some other homeless bum off of the street, give him a BANG BANG t-shirt and throw him in the ring and no one would know the difference!!

-[[ Layfield is trying hard to piss Cactus off now.. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] As a matter of fact, the only thing REAL about your ass... Is the fact that your t-shirt says WANTED DEAD..... Because that is EXACTLY what everyone WANTS.. FROM YOU!!

-[[ Someone taps Bradshaw on the shoulder... Layfield turns around quickly and comes face to face with "The Canadian Crippler" Chris Benoit.. Benoit looks Bradshaw up and down... Bradshaw doesn't know what's going on.. ]]-

[ Chris Benoit ] John.. Bradshaw.. Layfield... Tell me.. How does it feel to be a real champion.. That needed the help.. OF A WOMAN... To defeat two of your rivals for that championship you so proudly carry around on your shoulder?

-[[ Bradshaw's upper lip twitches, he's beginning to get angry.. ]]-

[ Chris Benoit ] Let me tell you something, John.. Bradshaw.. Layfield... Tonight, I am going to defeat Christian for his world championship.... And since you take so much pride in being a real.. Champion... After I am the new world.. Heavyweight.. Champion......... I'll give you the first shot... At Heartbreaker!!

-[[ Benoit and Layfield take a step closer to each other like they may begin swinging at any moment.. ]]-

[ Chris Benoit ] And we'll see how YOU fair against someone in a match.. Where weapons.. Are not.. Allowed..

-[[ Layfield smiles.. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Sorry, little Benoit.. But you ain't winnin' that championship tonight.. Because to hold that championship.. And to step up to my level.....

-[[ Layfield raises his hand a few inches over Benoit's head.. ]]-

[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Ya' gotta be THIS tall.. Sorry, kid.. Maybe when ya' hit pubert--

-[[ Benoit slaps Layfield so hard that it sends him spinning around... Layfield doesn't even bother turning back around.. Benoit smirks, watching Layfield just stand there, shocked..... ]]-

[ Chris Benoit ] Prepare.. To be proven.. Wrong...

-[[ Benoit turns and heads toward the ring for his match with Christian.. ]]-

Christian(c) versus Chris Benoit
Title on the Line: SGW World Heavyweight Championship
Stipulation: None
Referee: Nick Patrick

-[[ Benoit enters the ring, looking jacked for his world title opportunity.. Christian stands across the ring from him with the world championship around his waist.. Tyson Tomko, Trish Stratus, and Jim Cornette stand in his corner.. The Canadian Crippler stands alone.. Christian hands the championship over to Nick Patrick, who raises it above his head, showing it to the fans.. Christian steps out of his corner and Chris Benoit meets him in the center of the ring.. Both men stand nose to nose, neither one saying a word.. The bell sounds and the two men lock arms and begin struggling to overpower the other.. Chris Benoit forces Christian into the corner and Patrick begins ordering for a break.. Benoit breaks clean and Patrick steps between them.. Christian leans over Patrick and nails Benoit right in the mouth with a closed fist! Benoit backs up, holding his chin and Christian shoves Patrick out of the way and goes charging toward Benoit with a clothesline! Benoit springs into action and ducks it.. He catches Christian around the waist.. German suplex! He rolls back to his feet and rips Christian straight down into the Cross face, but Christian rolls forward and slides out of the ring, clutching his shoulder and shaking his head.. Chris Benoit slides out of the ring and begins stalking toward Christian, but Tomko stands in-between them.. And Benoit shoves Tomko out of the way and goes charging for Christian!! Christian takes off running and slides back underneath the bottom rope and Benoit slides in after him, but Christian begins putting the boots to him.. Christian stomps Benoit down and drags him back to his feet.. He grips Benoit and hits him with a high angle suplex!! Christian pops back up and pulls Benoit back to his feet.. Christian throws a punch and Benoit ducks it and nails Christian with a chest splitting chop!! Christian yells in pain and Benoit hits him again.. And then kicks him in the gut.. Double underhook suplex!! Benoit's already up and back on Christian, yanking him to his feet and whipping him into the ropes.. Knee lift to the gut, sending Christian flipping in mid-air!! Benoit rips Christian off of the mat and nails him with a snap suplex!! Christian yells in pain and Benoit yanks him off the mat and throws him into the turnbuckle.. Benoit follows him in and clotheslines him hard and then lifts him onto the top turnbuckle.. Benoit begins following him up and he hooks his head... Oh my God.. He's going for a SUPERPLEX!! Christian punches Benoit in the gut.. Hits him again.. And shoves Benoit off of the ropes and onto the mat... Christian stands up, slaps himself on the chest..... And dives off at Benoit with a flying elbow!! Benoit rolls out of the way!! Christian clutches his arm and Benoit dives on him and goes for the Crossface!! Christian fights it, desperately trying to stay out of the move, but Benoit is persistent!! He almost gets it locked on and Christian gets his feet twisted up in the ropes!! The referee forces a break.. Benoit and Christian both stand up, with Christian clutching the ropes.. And Benoit charges at him!! Christian quickly drops and rolls underneath the ropes and to the outside, but Benoit doesn't care... SUICIDE DIIIIIIIVE!! He wipes out Christian AND Tomko!! All three men lay motionless on the outside, but Benoit springs back to life first.. He shoves Tomko away from him and yanks Christian to his feet.. He positions him against the guard rail and chops him hard across the chest!! He nails him again.. And again.. And AGAIN!! And he pulls his hand back one more time.. And Jim Cornette grabs Benoit's arm!! Benoit spins around and eyeballs Cornette... Benoit advances on him and then turns around just in time to punch Christian down!! Benoit reaches down and grabs Christian off the mat.. And Cornette slams his tennis racket into Benoit's back!! Benoit turns around, unphased, and even more pissed!! He bulls up on Cornette and yanks the tennis racket out of his hand and raises it like he's going to use it... But then he tosses it down... He slams Cornette into the ring apron.. And chops him so hard that it rips his shirt open!! Benoit nails him again.. And again.. And Christian spins Benoit around and goes for a punch but Benoit deflects the shot and chops Christian hard in the chest!! And headbutts him right in the nose!! Christian reels around and Benoit throws him underneath the bottom rope!! Benoit follows him in and Christian is already standing.. Both men begin throwing punches wildly at each other and Christian throws a high one and Benoit drop toe holds him out of nowhere, sending Christian crashing forward into Nick Patrick!! Patrick goes down and hits his head on the turnbuckle and he goes motionless!! Benoit spins the drop toe hold and hooks Christian in the SHARPSHOOTER!! Christian is yelling in pain... And he begins tapping out!! CHRISTIAN IS TAPPING OUT!! No referee to register the victory!! Tyson Tomko rolls in the ring with the championship belt!! He charges at Benoit and Benoit releases the hold and catches Tomko when he swings the title!! CROSSFACE ON TOMKO!! Tomko is tapping out!! And Benoit hears the ring begin to rumble..... Benoit releases the hold and stands up to face his next attacker and walks right into the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!!!!! John Bradshaw Layfield just leveled Chris Benoit!! JBL tips his hat and exits the ring casually as the fans boo.... Christian pulls himself on top of Benoit and Nick Patrick comes to... One......... Two....... THREE!! CHRIS BENOIT HAS BEEN ROBBED!! Christian rolls out of the ring where Tomko and Trish hand him his championship belt.. Christian and the Coalition celebrate up the ramp as Benoit sits up in the center of the ring, mad as hell... ]]-

Winner and Still Champion: Christian via Pin Fall

-[[ The ring has been cleared.. ]]-

It is now time...... For the main event.. ]]-

The fans are buzzing in anticipation, eagerly waiting to see what is going to happen now... The wait is almost painful as the fans wait for any sign.. Any sign at all that the main event is about to occur as planned.. And then, without any further adieu...... ]]-

.......HEY! ....NOTHIN' YOU CAN SAY!!

Randy Orton's music hits to an absolutely earth shaking round of boos.. The theme plays for a moment with no entrance and just when the boos begin to subside in the slightest, Randy Orton and "Cowboy" Bob Orton walk out onto the stage wearing matching black suits to an even BIGGER round of boos.. The only difference in attire is "Cowboy" Bob's cowboy hat.. Randy Orton clutches a Bible in both hands as he looks out at the fans as if he can't understand why they're booing him like this... As Randy and Bob make their way to the ring, SGW production crew members roll a black carpet across the ring and place a podium and various funeral wreathes, decorated with orange flowers across the back side of the ring and all around it..... Both men climb the steps and enter the ring.. Randy steps behind the podium and places the Bible on top of it.. "Cowboy" Bob takes his place standing to the side of the podium, gently motioning for the fans to quiet down.. Orton removes a handkerchief from his coat pocket and dabs mockingly at his eyes...... He leans into the microphone on the podium and speaks.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Thank you for your support during this trying time..

The fans boo even louder and a sick smile creeps across Orton's face.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] That's what I thought.. I'm glad he's dead, too!!

Orton looks around, still smiling, as loud "FUCK YOU, ORTON!" chants break out all across the arena... He looks at his dad, who stands there nodding, finding this whole thing humorous... Orton turns back to the microphone.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] But nevertheless.. It was I, Randy Orton..... THE LEGEND KILLER... Who has been chosen to deliver the eulogy on our dearly departed... FORMER.. Legend..

Randy reaches into his coat pocket again and removes a folded up piece of paper.. He gently unfolds it and looks down at it.. He swallows hard as if emotion is overcoming him.. He speaks again.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Please... Bear with me..

And then he begins to read.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Peter Senerca.. The man who would later go on to.. Arguably greater fame as Taz in the wrestling business.. Was born into this world as a screaming, red skinned, tattooed and angry infant on October eleventh.. In the year of nineteen sixty-seven..... Naturally, in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York.. He was the unwanted son of a cancer ridden mother... And a foolish drunkard of a father and because his birth was chalked up by them as a loss of epic proportions, he was turned out into the street..... Where the man we knew today as Taz was born.....

A pause as the boos begin to drone in.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Trained by Johnny Rodz and then making his name in Extreme Championship Wrestling, Taz entered Solid Gold Wrestling and proceeded to be beaten so badly by the likes of Bret Hart, Shane Douglas, and the Dudley Boyz.. The REAL legends of Solid Gold Wrestling, that he suffered irreparable damage to his ears and would, from that time on, have trouble hearing.. And the world.. As we know it... Would never stop hearing about it...

Orton smiles.. ]]-

Randy Orton ] Until.. NOW.. Of course..

He continues, casually. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Taz's success in Solid Gold Wrestling was... Limited... To say the least.. As he never achieved anything that would make him stand out from any other ill-tempered reject that happened to walk in off of the street.. All of his title wins resulted in mediocre reigns that lasted no more than two weeks.. And every time he did battle, if you can even CALL it that, for the world championship.... He was left in a bloody heap!!

Orton looks up, seemingly into the Heavens.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] His parents.... Both died unfortunate deaths.. One taken by the fact that he could not control his personal vices... The other taken suddenly from a hospital bed just because he didn't deserve her company.... BY GOD HIMSELF!!

The boos flow in so heavy now that Orton can't help but smile.. Still looking toward the Heavens, he shuts his eyes, soaking them in before continuing.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Taz.. PETER!! I would stand here and say.. That I hope you find what it is that you're looking for in the afterlife... But we all know, from the boys in the back.. To all the fans sitting here in this building tonight.... And all of them watching around the world.... There is no Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight title belt in HELL........ ONLY YOU... AND YOUR PARENTS!!!!

Orton tilts his head back down, a menacing look on his face.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] And when people talk about Solid Gold Wrestling.. And tune into Shock years from now... If they even bother to remember the egg-shaped, red, wannabe menace that you were.. They won't remember you for anything you did in the ring... They won't remember you for any classic wars..... Or even for the infinite losses you suffered at the hands of better competitors... They'll only remember you, Taz.......... FOR BEING RANDY ORTON'S BITCH!!

-[[ Orton looks around, basking in the boos he's receiving.. He folds up the piece of paper and places it back inside of his jacket.. He begins to speak again but the boos actually drown him out.. He speaks louder to get their attention.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] People... People...... PEOPLE!! You might want to save your voices.. Because we have a long way to go... We still have the video package and the will reading to go.... So, please... Save it..

He smiles.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Ladies and gentlemen.. Please, turn your attention to the Golden-Tron, where you will be treated to a little something I put together for Taz... I tried to keep it short.. But I also wanted to maintain my vision for the piece.. So, be patient.. And while this is showing, please be thoughtful to the people surrounding you and turn off your cell phones and beepers... Thank you!!

The lights in the arena go out.. And the Golden-Tron flashes to life... A black screen with orange text appears... The fans begin booing immediately as they read the text.... ]]-


And slowly, a spray paint effect alters the title only slightly.. ]]-


The boos get even louder now.. ]]-

An overhead camera view scrolls quickly over the streets of the Red Hook section of New York, making sure to highlight all of the gritty, disgusting details that we are to assume turned Taz into the angry piece of shit he was before his fortunate death.. ]]-

The song "Suicide is Painless," yes, the theme from M*A*S*H with lyrics begins to slowly filter into the video, giving it an eerie, yet almost comical feel.. The footage on this video is revealed to be dated as the roaming camera settles on the top of a derelict warehouse where a lone figure is standing.. Wearing his jeans and leather jacket, it's clear that the short, unintimidating half of a man is the former Human Suplex Machine, Taz..... ]]-

Through early morning fog I see ..
Visions of the things to be..
The pains that are withheld for me..
I realize and I can see..

That suicide is painless..
It brings on many changes..
And I can take or leave it if I please.....

Taz is shown choking the life out of Perry Saturn while "The Franchise" Shane Douglas watches from outside the ring, unable to break the hold in time to save his championship belt.. Taz raises the United States title over his head, blood staining his features... And then, in a sudden jump-cut, we see Taz on the receiving end of a Chris Jericho lionsault.. And then we see the red skinned elf-man stretching his arm out, reaching for the ropes.. And then finally succumbing to the pain of the Walls of Jericho before tapping out to end his championship reign at only ten days.. ]]-


-[[ Chris Jericho stomps around the ring and pie faces Taz down to the mat before raising his arms in victory as referee, Nick Patrick, straps the championship belt around his waist..... ]]-

-[[ Taz, bleeding profusely once more is seen diving across the ring to tag in "The Franchise" now.. Within seconds, Shane Douglas has planted Buff Bagwell with the Pittsburgh Plunge and secured the SGW Tag Team championship for he and his untalented partner, Taz... Douglas shoves the championship belt into Taz's arms and forces him to hold the ropes open for him... Another quick jump-cut as Shane Douglas plants Taz with a belly-to-belly suplex, leaving him prone to a FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH as Douglas basically hands the tag team titles to Van Dam and Billy Kidman.... Van Dam and Kidman celebrate with the titles.. ]]-


' The game of life is hard to play..
I'm gonna to lose it anyway ..
The losing card I'll someday lay ..
So this is all I have to say..

Suicide is painless ..
It brings on many changes ..
And I can take or leave it if I please..

-[[ Taz is being beaten relentlessly by Buh Buh Ray and D-Von Dudley.. Blood is squirting out of his head and.. Oh my God... Buh Buh is lighting a table on fire!! But just as Taz is about to meet his maker six years ago rather than last week, Tommy Dreamer runs in and saves Taz's ass, drives Buh Buh and D-Von down to the mat with stereo DDTs!! Tommy Dreamer pins them both and Taz has been carried to one more championship belt... Flash forward, and Tommy Dreamer and Taz are standing outside of the SGW Headquarters just after SGW succumbed to financial difficulties.. ]]-

[ Taz ] What we gonna do now, Dreama'?

-[[ Dreamer shakes his head.. ]]-

[ Tommy Dreamer ] I don't know what the fuck you're gonna do.. But you ain't doin' it with me..

-[[ Dreamer leaves Taz to himself on the street.. And a car drives by, splashing water across Taz's 6:32 t-shirt.. Taz looks up into the heavens and his shoulders slump..... And a single tear rolls down his cheek... ]]-

' The sword of time will pierce our skin..
It doesn't hurt when it begins..
But as it works its way on in..
The pain grows stronger watch it grin..

Suicide is painless ..
It brings on many changes ..
And I can take or leave it if I please..

-[[ Taz is seen interfering in a match between Rhyno and Billy Kidman where he declares himself the SGW EXTREME champion.. Taz, pissed and looking blown up like a bullfrog after only a few minutes of in-ring action, storms out of the ring with his freshly stolen championship belt... And then another jump-cut as "The Franchise" Shane Douglas, one more time, is beating Taz like he owes him money!! Douglas goes to town on Taz with a kendo stick, drawing tons of blood, and then Douglas whips him like a dog with his belt as Taz screams in pain, trying to escape.. But Douglas won't allow it..... And then.. The finish is academic as Douglas Pittsburgh Plunges Taz through two tables and pins him to become the new champion.. ]]-


-[[ Taz is seen standing in the ring with the Solid Gold Wrestling-X logo flashing behind him... And after a hardcore, bloody brawl, we see Raven nailing Taz with an Evenflow DDT and pinning him.... Arn Anderson and Val Venis pummel Taz with a tire iron and a chair as blood coats the ring mat.... A graphic says "Next week" and Taz falls prey to "The King of Old School" Steve Corino as the fans erupt in cheers..... Jump cut, once more.. And Taz is walking out on his match with Chris Kanyon, being counted out........ ]]-

[ Doctor ] Your concussion isn't getting better... It's only getting worse..

-[[ Val Venis steps out onto the ramp in slow motion.. ]]-

[ Doctor ] The next move you take... Hell, the next punch you take... Could kill you..

-[[ Taz is in the doctor's office, shaking his head.. ]]-

[ Doctor ] The next time you go to the ring, you could die..

[ Taz ] Somebody could die.. Every time I go to the ring..

-[[ Val Venis slams Taz in the head with a chair so many times that blood squirts out of his ears.. ]]-

[ Doctor ] Walk away.. The championship isn't worth it..

[ Taz ] You don't know what ya' talkin' 'bout, doc...

-[[ Val Venis lights a table on fire and POWER BOMBS Taz through it.. EMTs flood the ring and carry Taz out on a stretcher.. In the backstage area, Christian rushes up to the stretcher in hysterics.. ]]-

[ Christian ] What happened to Taz!? IS TAZ OKAY!?

[ EMT ] Val Venis.. Ended his career...

[ Christian ] ..No, he didn't..

-[[ Christian flips the stretcher over.. ]]-

[ Christian ] I DID!! I ENDED HIS CAREER!!

' A brave man once requested me..
To answer questions that are key..
Is it to be or not to be..
And I replied oh why ask me..

That suicide is painless ..
It brings on many changes ..
And I can take or leave it if I please..

-[[ "Two Weeks Ago" scrolls across the screen.. Val Venis is on his way to the entrance ramp for his match with the Undertaker.. And instead finds himself face to face with Taz..... They exchange words, although you only hear the music.. And then, Taz's speech becomes audible.. ]]-

[ Taz ] We got unfinished bidness..

' And you can do the same thing.. If you pleeeease.. '

[ Christian ] Next time... I'll flip over your CASKET!!

-[[ The music stops abruptly and all you hear is the sound of tires screeching and then the shot of a rental car slamming straight into the front of an eighteen wheeler and exploding.... The smiling face of Randy Orton fills the screen and you see the flames flickering in his eyes.... Taz.. Is dead.. And the video freeze frames on Orton's smiling face.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] You can thank me later....

-[[ And the video closes with this image.. ]]-

-[[ As the video comes to a close, the lights come back on and the fans are booing so loud that it creates an almost static sounding noise for anyone that happens to be watching this travesty unfold on television... Randy Orton mockingly wipes a tear from his eye.. He then leans into the microphone, speaking over the fans.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I have to give it to myself... That.. Was beautiful!!

-[[ Randy then turns to his father.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Dad.. It's time..

-[[ "Cowboy" Bob nods, knowing what Randy wants.. Orton begins going through his coat pockets and after a few seconds, he finds an envelope.. Scrawled on the envelope in black marker is the text "Last Will and Testament." Randy Orton takes the envelope and produces a letter opener to break the seal.. He removes a folded up piece of paper and holds it in front of him... He looks out at all of the fans.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Everyone, please be quiet.. Taz would want you to hear this...

-[[ Orton clears his throat.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] If you're reading this.. That means I am dead, having been finally put out of my misery by "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton and his Hall of Fame worthy father, "Cowboy" Bob Orton...... I know none of you miss me and are all probably glad to see me go, but I would like everyone to hear my last wishes...

-[[ Orton smiles, looking up. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Taz.. Prophet.

-[[ He laughs and then continues reading. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] First, I would leave my hearing to anyone who wanted it.. But unfortunately, I lost that years ago..

-[[ Orton nods, shrugging his shoulders.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I thought about leaving my mother and father to raise some other poor child, perhaps from Boston or some surrounding area... But much like my hearing, they left me a long time ago.....

-[[ Orton looks up, an understanding look on his face.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Well.. It's true.

-[[ Orton reads some more.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] And with that, I realize I have nothing else to give.. Because I am, in fact, nothing.. All that I had left was to show up to Shock.. Confront Val Venis and challenge him to a match I wouldn't have won even if I had survived.. And then give away the one thing I had left in this world..... MY LIFE!!

-[[ Orton stands there, clutching the paper tightly, shaking with intensity.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] In fact, with nothing left to give.. And nothing left to live for.. I am just.. Another.. Legend...

-[[ Orton's eyes go wide.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] .....KILLED!!

-[[ The boos flood the sound system again..... And then..... ]]-

-[[ Oh.. My.. God.. ]]-


-[[ Randy Orton looks like he's seen a ghost!! TAZ IS HERE!! TAZ... IS HERE!! HE'S NOT DEAD!! Randy Orton rips his jacket off and assumes a fighting stance, waiting for Taz to storm down the ramp.. And the fans are popping so huge, you would think Jesus Christ himself has come down to stop Orton..... THE FANS ARE GOING NUTS!! TAZ IS HERE!! And the curtain pulls back......... And a group of DRUIDS are dragging out a pine box splattered in orange paint....... What.. The.. Fuck? Taz... Isn't here..... It was a fake-out!! ORTON IS LAUGHING!! The pine casket is almost falling apart in their hands and the orange paint is dripping off of it, showing that this a freshly done job.. The druids drag the casket into the ring and Randy Orton admires it, smiling the entire time.. They have brought the casket containing Taz's remains into the ring.. This is ridiculous.. Disrespectful.. And ridiculous!! Randy Orton pulls the microphone from the podium.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Why are you people booing!? The music didn't lie!!

-[[ Orton points at the casket.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] TAZ IS RIGHT HERE!!

-[[ The boos are deafening.. And then.. ]]-

' IT WASN'T..... MY..... FAULT!! '

-[[ Gene Snitsky is BACK!! Gene Snitsky walks out onto the stage wearing the exact same sleeveless tuxedo that he was wearing at Six-String Supremacy when he became injured... Snitsky looks furious, eyes wide, breathing heavily.. And he has a piece of notebook paper in his hand that looks like it's been scribbled on with a crayon... The Ortons and druids all watch on from the ring.. The look on Orton's face tells you that he knew Snitsky was coming.. Snitsky has a microphone in his hand and he begins to speak.. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] When I heard.. That Taz died.. I wrote.. A POEM!!

-[[ The fans begin booing even louder.. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] This.. Is my tribute... To TAAAAAZ!!

-[[ He looks at the paper and squints his eyes.. As if he's trying to struggle to read.. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] Taz..

-[[ Boos. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] Your death.. Was shocking.. And truly.. A shame..
So was your body.. Engulfed.. In flames..
You were a legend... Well past your prime..
No longer Earth's... Jesus says "he's mine."
You did a lot of funny stuff... In S.. G.. W....
And you had.. Flawssss...

-[[ Snitsky cups his ear.. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] Huh? I can't hear you..

-[[ The fans erupt in boos.. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] You were deaf.. And had no skill...
And you've left.. A RIDICULOUS.. WILL!!
You made us laugh.. When you would cut.. A promo..
Winning for you... That was a no-no..
Now.. You are dead.. Like Davey Boy Smith...
They need to move.. Your body... 'Cause I just.. Caught a whiff!!

-[[ Snitsky waves his hand in front of his nose and makes a disgusted face. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] Taz...
We knew.. That you would never wake up.. And learn..
And now your egg shaped body.. Has crashed... AND BURNED!!
Roses.. Are red.. Violets.. Are BLUE!!
Smoke me if you can... Get high.. If I let you...
Now you have to... Because Jesus makes you..

-[[ Orton gives Snitsky a thumbs up.. Snitsky grins and nods his head before continuing.. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] Up in flames.. Is you.. And your career.. Literally on fire.. Yes, you are..
You'll go down in history... As the biggest flop.. In SGW... BY FAR!!
Please.. Don't try to T-Bone Jesus.. He will make you pay...
We're all GLAD that you're dead... We'll thank God.. Every day..
We all took your life... With a grain of salt....
Now you're dead...

-[[ Snitsky roars.. ]]-

[ Gene Snitsky ] AND IT WASN'T... MY... FAULT!!

-[[ Massive boos.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Thank you, Snitsky..

-[[ Snitsky nods and walks back through the curtain as if he was never even there.. Orton begins speaking into the microphone again, once more having to speak over the screams of the fans that desperately want this farce to end.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Dad.. Seeing as how we have Taz here.. And this is such a special moment..

-[[ Orton seems to think it over before continuing.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I thought to myself.. What better way to make this moment more special.. Than to have a reunion?

-[[ "Cowboy" Bob seems confused.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Between the parents... And their son..

-[[ Orton smiles evilly and "Cowboy" Bob leans in.. ]]-

[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] Ain't they.. Dead, son?

-[[ Randy nods, smiling.. ]]-

[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] And.. Ain't they buried in the asshole o'Boston?

-[[ Randy nods again.. And then he points at the Golden-Tron.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Feast your eyes..

-[[ The lights dim and the Golden-Tron flashes to life again.. And the fans are suddenly looking at the Big Show sitting in the driver's seat... OF A HEARSE!! The text "Earlier today" scrolls across the screen.. The Big Show is laughing loudly as he speaks.... And his words make your blood run cold.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] Trust me, Kennedy.. You're gonna LOVE this!!

-[[ A pause. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] It'll be a hell of a ride!!

-[[ The Big Show accelerates and the camera is ripped out of the hearse.. And settles on... KEN KENNEDY RIDING THE CASKET OF TAZ'S MOTHER!! The Big Show plows the hearse over tombstones, ripping them to pieces as Ken Kennedy screams in terror, holding on for dear life as the casket threatens to fall apart or flip over entirely!! Finally, the Big Show brings the vehicle to a halt and Kennedy gets off of it... The Big Show steps out of the driver's side and smiles at Kennedy... Kennedy looks shaken big-time.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] How'd you like that, champ?

-[[ Kennedy just shakes his head.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Let's get his dad and get the hell out of here, Show.

-[[ The Big Show laughs and slaps Kennedy on the back, almost knocking him down.. And then the Golden-Tron shuts off, the lights come back up... And the fans are disgusted to hear... ]]-


-[[ Huge boos. ]]-


-[[ The set is shoved to the side and that very same hearse pulls out onto the ramp, Eddie Guerrero style!! And.. Oh shit, no.. It's still dragging one of the caskets!! And there's another chain hanging from the back with pieces of a casket still attached to it... What's happened there!? Ken Kennedy leans out of the passenger's side with a microphone in his hand.. He looks a bit worried.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Sorry, Randy.. We dragged these bad boys all the way from Boston... ALLLLLL THE WAY ACROSS THE CANADIAN BORDER... And I'll be damned if we didn't lose his dad's casket on the highway.. But we pulled over and picked up the pieces we could find... And luckily for all of us here tonight.......

-[[ Ken Kennedy reveals a blue, plastic bag full of wet meat.. ]]-


-[[ The fans boo even louder.. The hearse pulls down closer to the ring and The Big Show steps out of it.. He rips the remaining casket away from the back of the hearse and tosses it inside of the ring like it's nothing.. It rests mere feet away Taz's casket... Ken Kennedy and Big Show get inside and Kennedy rests the Wal-Mart bag full of daddy-chunk on top of Taz's casket.. Randy Orton gives Show and Kennedy each a quick hug.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Thanks, guys..

-[[ He then addresses the fans.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Before we continue any further with this touching reunion.. I have one more important announcement to make.. And it is regarding... The Solid Gold Wrestling.. Hall of Fame.. Ladies and gentlemen, turn your attention one more time to the Golden-Tron....

-[[ The Golden-Tron flashes to life, revealing Taz's Hall of Fame entry.. ]]-


Inducted By
Arn Anderson

SGW Superstar

Achievements: United States Championship, World Tag Team Championship(2x), EXTREME Championship

-[[ Orton stares up at it, smiling.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] It is my duty to inform everyone here... That Taz is being.. REMOVED from the Hall of Fame!!

-[[ The fans erupt in boos.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] But rest assured.. He IS being replaced.. TONIGHT.. By a superstar that has outshined him in every way.. A superstar that has done more in two months than he did.. IN HIS ENTIRE CAREER!! Of course... I'm talking about...

-[[ Orton goes dead serious.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] ........ME!!!

-[[ He points to the Tron.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] SHOW IT!!

-[[ And the entry changes... For God's sake.. This can't be legitimate.. ]]-

Taz Randy Orton

Inducted By
Arn Anderson Himself

SGW Superstar
Legend Killer

Achievements: United States Championship, World Tag Team Championship(2x), EXTREME Championship SGW Television Champion, Killed Taz

-[[ It is. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Now that... Is a Hall of Famer that you can be proud of!!

-[[ The fans are throwing garbage into the ring now.. Orton pays no attention to them as he continues.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] And before we go any further.. I'd like to introduce all of you to a few of my guests... Now, you're going to wonder why these men would ever come down here together.. Because... Let's face it.. None of us really see eye to eye... But in the wake of this........ Tragedy... We have all put our differences aside for one night.. To pay homage to this great, great man.. Who selflessly put over so many of his peers during his prime.. And after his prime as well....

-[[ Orton points to the entrance ramp... ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Ladies and gentlemen..... THE CHRISTIAN COALITION!!

-[[ Christian steps out onto the ramp with the world championship over his shoulder, looking a bit beaten up after his match with Benoit.. Trish Stratus, Tyson Tomko, and Jim Cornette follow him out, all looking smug.. The fans boo them loudly as they make their way to the ring... Ken Kennedy and the Big Show are standing behind the Ortons with the caskets resting near them...... As the Coalition enters the ring, Orton announces another one.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] ......THE JIHAD!!

-[[ The boos become almost obscenely louder as Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari walk out onto the ramp.. Hassan stops long enough to spit on the ramp and raise his arms, shouting "PRAAAAISE... ALLAAAAAH!!" before entering the ring himself with Daivari holding the ropes.. Everyone in the ring is eyeballing each other.. Even though they've come together to celebrate the death of this man, they still don't trust each other.. Orton has more for the fans.. ]]-


-[[ "Big Poppa Pump" stomps out onto the ramp with Midajah following behind him.. Steiner looks pissed off and he's got something in his hand... What the hell........ What the hell IS that!? It looks like a baseball bat with a wet rag wrapped around the end of it.. Midajah holds the ropes for Steiner and he gets in the ring, staring everyone down through his sun glasses... And then Steiner reaches into his pocket.. And.. What is that? HE HAS A LIGHTER!! Scott Steiner sticks the lighter to the wet rag and it goes up in flames!! Christian begins frantically waving his arms around and he grabs the microphone out of Randy Orton's hand.. ]]-

[ Christian ] WHOA!! Hey, come on.. Hold on just a second, Steiner.....

-[[ Everyone goes dead silent, thinking Christian is about to die. ]]-

[ Christian ] You're not lighting these caskets on fire....

-[[ Christian then turns, grips the edges of Taz's casket.. And flips it over!! The lid comes off and the fans gasp in horror as Taz's remains go scattering across the ring, as well as tons of ashes and crispy skin floating through the air and settling near the front row.. Christian excitedly begins yelling. ]]-


-[[ Jim Cornette leans casually over to Tomko. ]]-

[ Jim Cornette ] Boy's done gone and lost his god damn mind, Tomko.

-[[ Tomko's expression remains still. ]]-

[ Tyson Tomko ] Yep.

-[[ Christian then motions toward the caskets.. ]]-

[ Christian ] Knock yourself out.

-[[ Steiner takes a step forward and presses the flaming bat to Taz's casket.. It goes up in flames like nobody's business and within seconds, the fire has spread across the ring and onto the casket of his mother, thus melting the Wal-Mart bag full of his father... The wrestlers all scatter out of the ring, watching the podium go up, as well as the ropes.. The apron.. And even one of the Druids doesn't get away fast enough, quickly going up in smoke and falling limp into the flames on top of Taz's casket, forcing it to collapse.. Everyone stands there silently as the fans boo, watching the entire ring go up in one of the biggest bonfires anyone has ever witnessed..... Ken Kennedy and the Big Show stare blankly at the flames. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Ya' know, Show.. I don't want to sound gay or anything...

-[[ Big Show doesn't even move.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] But I think fire is really romantic.

-[[ The Big Show slowly turns his head toward Kennedy, looking surprised. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] ......What?

-[[ Scott Steiner wanders closer to the flames, looking pissed off.. ]]-

[ Scott Steiner ] How's this for pissin' on ten years of your fuckin' life, you fuckin' piece o' shit?

-[[ Steiner then pulls his tights down.. And PISSES IN THE FLAMES!! SCOTT STEINER IS PISSING ON THE VERY SAME FLAMES THAT ARE DISINTEGRATING TAZ AND HIS FAMILY'S BODIES!! SCOTT STEINER DOES NOT CARE!! Steiner finishes up, pulls his tights up and drags Midajah to the back, having done everything he wanted to do... ]]-

-[[ Christian, still holding the microphone and standing next to Orton speaks.. ]]-

[ Christian ] Ya' know, Orton.. I've been wondering since last week....

-[[ Orton looks at Christian with a "Yeah?" look on his face. ]]-

[ Christian ] How did it feel to get to be the man who finally killed Taz?

-[[ Orton smirks.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] You really want to know?

-[[ Muhammad Hassan steps up, smiling evilly. ]]-

[ Muhammad Hassan ] Please... Tell us, Randy..

-[[ Orton looks up, thinking.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] Well... It felt a little like.......

-[[ Orton's eyes go WILD.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] ..Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight.. Gonna grab some afternoon delight..

-[[ Christian nods, smiling.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] My motto's always been, "when it's right, it's right," Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night?

-[[ Christian, Kennedy, and the Big Show lean into Orton's microphone.. ]]-


-[[ Huge boos. ]]-


[ Christian ] Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite!!

-[[ Hassan slides in, swatting his headdress out of his eyes.. ]]-


-[[ Orton throws his arms out to the side in the ".....HEY!" pose. ]]-


-[[ Kennedy bellows, making a wavy motion with his hand.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] PHHEEEEEWWWW..........

[ Christian | Show | Orton | Hassan ] AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!

[ Ken Kennedy ] ..WOOOOP!!


-[[ Orton laughs.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] I think you guys got it..

-[[ They all break right back into it. ]]-

[ Christian | Orton | Kennedy | Show | Hassan ] ..AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!

-[[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton shakes his head.. ]]-

[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] I don't know, son.. That sounds a little CRAZY..

-[[ Kennedy shakes his head, looking suddenly disgusted. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Yeah, you've got major mental problems, man..

[ Christian ] Yeah, you really do..

[ Ken Kennedy ] ..Man.

-[[ Nevermind. ]]-

[ Christian | Orton | Kennedy | Show | Hassan ] ..AFTERNOON DELIGHT!!

-[[ The fans boo as the flames render the ring and the bodies inside of it into nothingness.. ]]-

-[[ Fade out. ]]-

' Rest in peace, cock sucker.