Date: Sunday,
March 12th, 2006 | Live From: Montreal, Quebec,
Canada
| Commentators:
Joey
Styles & Don Callis
[ Kurt Angle ] Gene Snitsky... Gene Snitsky, Bob.. That was ridiculous!! -[[ Backlund shakes his head frantically.. ]]- [ Bob Backlund ] It was an impressive showing, Kurt.. Very impressive.. You didn't miss a beat.. -[[ Angle isn't satisfied. He turns to Backlund as they walk.. ]]- [ Kurt Angle ] Maria tried to screw me over.. She's mad because I stood up for myself against that transvestite and then she tried to throw me off guard by putting me in the ring with that MONSTER... Well, whatever, I dominated his ass, just like I would have dominated Chyna if she had the BALLS to show up.. -[[ Backlund and Angle both turn to continue walking.. And come face to face.. With CHYNA.. She's standing there on a crutch, staring a hole right through Kurt Angle... Kurt smirks.. ]]- [ Kurt Angle ] Look what the cat dragged in, Bob.. -[[ Chyna seems unfazed by the comment.. ]]- [ Chyna ] Kurt... I'm not here to argue.. Or make excuses.. I just wanted to apologize.. [ Kurt Angle ] Good.. Because I deserve an apology for what you did to me tonight!! [ Chyna ] What did I do? -[[ Angle looks like he can't believe she asked that.. ]]- [ Kurt Angle ] What did you do!? TWO WORDS, Chyna.. -[[ He waggles his head around.. ]]- [ Kurt Angle ] GENE FREAKIN' SNITSKY!! -[[ Chyna looks confused.. ]]- [ Chyna ] That's three words. -[[ Angle puts his hands on his hips. ]]- [ Kurt Angle ] Stupid bitch, if you knew anything about the English language.. And believe me.. I DO!! -[[ His eye settle on her eyes. ]]- [ Kurt Angle ] You'd know that freakin' isn't a word!! -[[ Chyna rolls her eyes.. ]]- [ Chyna ] Whatever, Kurt... But.. I brought you a gift.. To make up for not being able to wrestle you tonight.. -[[ Kurt looks her up and down. ]]- [ Kurt Angle ] I don't see a gift. [ Chyna ] It's right behind you. -[[ Kurt looks dumbfounded and slowly turns around, as does Backlund... And the crutch breaks over Kurt Angle's head!! Angle goes down in a heap and Bob Backlund turns around and Chyna kicks him in the gut... POWER BOMB ON BOB BACKLUND!! Chyna stands there over Angle and Backlund.. She's not injured AT ALL!! Chyna smiles.. ]]- [ Chyna ] There you go, Kurt.. A gift... From me.. To you.
-[[
She walks away.
]]- |
Michael Shane(c) versus
Lance Storm versus Randy Orton
Title on the Line: SGW Television Championship
Stipulation: None
Referee: Nick Patrick
|
Winner & New SGW Television Champion: Randy Orton via Pin Fall
[ Chris Benoit ] Tonight.. I set out to win the Hardcore championship... And I proceeded to do... What I said.. I was going to do!! I showed John Bradshaw Layfield.. A little something about respect... And I will admit.. Cactus Jack is one hell of a competitor.. But tonight... I was the better man... -[[ Benoit pauses.. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] By the dozens, people have been leaving Solid Gold Wrestling... Perhaps.. They feel as though they are not being treated properly.. Or maybe... They're not being challenged enough... But I encourage all of you... -[[ He stares intently into the camera.. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] All of you........ -[[ A pause. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] Before you take off to the competition with your tails between your legs..... -[[ He smiles.. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] Know that opportunity does await you.. In the ring.. With Chris Benoit.. -[[ He hoists the championship on his shoulder a bit higher.. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] Any time.. Anywhere.. Any body.. Step through the ropes.. And take a shot.. -[[ His voice is grim, cold. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] Because my name is Chris Benoit... I am the best damn technical wrestler this business has ever seen.. -[[ His voice goes lower.. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] And I can not... Be stopped..... -[[ A pause. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] Prove.. Me... Wrong.. -[[ He turns to leave and finds himself face to face with Cactus Jack.. Jack hasn't bothered to clean himself up after the match.. Blood is dried across his features.. He looks... Disgusting.... ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] Cactus? -[[ Jack's voice is warbly.. Uncertain.. ]]- [ Cactus Jack ] Chris... I just wanted to.. Thank you.. For showing me that respect after the match.. -[[ A pause.. ]]- [ Cactus Jack ] When you raised my hand... -[[ Benoit nods.. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] You deserved it, Cactus.. You battled like a champion.. -[[ Cactus runs his hand through his hair, pulling it out of his eyes.. ]]- [ Cactus Jack ] I just hope that you realize... That hardcore wrestling... It's not about the weapons.. It's not about how much you can hurt your opponent.... Hardcore wrestling.. Is not about who can take the most sickening bump from the highest place in the building... OH NO!! -[[ Benoit smiles.. ]]- [ Chris Benoit ] Cactus... I know.. Hardcore, quite simply means... How far you're willing to go for the adulation of the fans... How much of your body you are willing to sacrifice to put on an entertaining match.. I understand this fully... -[[ Cactus looks down and mumbles.. ]]- [ Cactus Jack ] If you understand that..... Then I guess.. You should understand... THIS!!
-[[
Cactus Jack nails Benoit with a big
right hand!! Benoit throws the belt to the side and begins taking it to
Cactus with rights and lefts... And RAVEN blasts Chris Benoit from
behind!! And here comes CM PUNK!! What the hell does he have to do with
this!? Raven, Cactus, and CM Punk all three begin pummeling Benoit down
into the concrete and Raven and CM Punk hold Chris Benoit up while Cactus
picks up the Hardcore championship..... And he charges.. AND BLASTS CHRIS
BENOIT IN THE FACE WITH IT!! Benoit's bandages come off and the blood
begins flowing again.. The three begin beating him down some more.. And
here comes DEAN MALENKO.. AND JEFF HARDY!! Cactus, Punk, and Raven scatter
as Hardy and Malenko swarm around Benoit and try helping him to his feet..
What the hell is going on here!?
]]- |
-[[ Lance Storm's body goes crashing over the merchandise table and as he begins to sit back up, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin goes flying over it at him!! Austin begins planting shot after shot into the head of Lance Storm and he whips him hard into the wall and begins punching away at him again!! Storm tries fighting back but Austin's not having any of that!! Austin yanks an SGW t-shirt off of the wall display and begins choking Storm relentlessly with it!! Storm is fighting for air, but Austin then uses the shirt to whip Storm back into the wall!! Storm slumps to his ass, rubbing his throat and trying to crawl away.. And Mike Awesome comes charging at Austin from behind!! ]]- [ Mike Awesome ] YEAH!! FUCK!! YOU WANNA FIGHT!! YOU FUCKIN' GOT ONE!! -[[ Austin stops Awesome dead cold with a kick.. WHAM STUNNER ON THE FLOOR!! Mike Awesome springs up and lands flat on his back and doesn't move!! CRACK!! CHAIR SHOT TO AUSTIN'S BACK!! Austin turns around, unfazed and sees Elix Skipper clutching the chair... Austin shakes his head and slaps the chair out of Elix's hand!! ]]- [ Elix Skipper ] Aw, fuck.. Aw shit!! NAW!! I juss' fucked up, didn't I? -[[ Austin just nods and grabs Elix by the head and slings him HARD through the merchandise table!! Major Gunnz is running onto the scene, yelling for the fighting to stop, but Austin locks eyes on her.. He's got that crazy look in his eye... And Lance Storm blasts him from behind!! Storm beats down on Austin, getting the jump on him, but as soon as he beats Austin down to his knees, Austin low bows him, stands up, and jacks his jaw with a big right hand!! Storm goes down hard and Austin stomps over and grabs a garbage can!! He dumps the garbage all over Storm's body!! ]]- [ Steve Austin ] It's time ta' take out the trash!! OHHH HELL YEEEAAH!!! -[[ He yanks Storm to his feet and puts the trash can on his head.. He grabs the steel chair that Elix discarded.. And BLASTS the garbage can with the chair!! The sound of steel meeting steel is heard and Storm goes spinning out of control and hits the wall before slumping down and not moving anymore!! Austin throws down the chair, smirking. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] How you like that, you mealy mouth BASTARD!? -[[ Major Gunnz jogs over, big ol' breasts swaying back and forth.. ]]- [ Major Gunnz ] Steve.. What do you think you're doing!? -[[ Austin looks at her.. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] Excuse me? -[[ She looks at him, confused.. ]]- [ Major Gunnz ] What do you think-- [ Steve Austin ] What? [ Major Gunnz ] What do you-- [ Steve Austin ] WHAT? -[[ She's growing frustrated.. ]]- [ Major Gunnz ] What do-- -[[ Austin rolls his eyes. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] BLAH BLAH BLAAAAH!! -[[ Austin looks her right in the eyes.. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] You keep flappin' your gums.. But all ol' Stone Cold hears is blah blah blah, I'm a stupid tramp!! [ Major Gunnz ] WHAT!? -[[ Austin looks at her cold and hard.. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] What's that? Are you takin' Stone Cold's catch phrases? -[[ STONE COLD STUNNER ON MAJOR GUNNZ!! Austin slides down next to her, in a push-up position, jawing right in her face as she lays there completely motionless on the floor.. Austin is PISSED. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] EH EH!! THAT JUST AIN'T GONNA CUT IT!! -[[ Austin stands up, brushes himself off, look at the wreckage he's created with his brawl with Team Canada.. And suddenly he's lifted off of the ground..... BY CHRIS MASTERS!! MASTERLOCK ON STEVE AUSTIN!! MASTERLOCK ON STEVE AUSTIN!! Austin is fighting it with everything he has... BUT HE CAN'T BREAK IT!! Chris Masters swings Austin around like a rag doll, brings him down to his knees, and forces Austin into unconsciousness!! Chris Masters slings Austin to the side and looks down at him... He spits on Austin's back.. ]]- [ Chris Masters ] See, Austin.... Nobody can break my Masterlock..... -[[ He yells. ]]- [ Chris Masters ] NOBODY!!
-[[
Masters stomps off, leaving the sea of
broken bodies to itself.
]]- |
Christian(c)
& Tom Cruise versus Val Venis & Teddy Long
Title on the Line: SGW World Heavyweight
Championship
Stipulation: The Pin Maker Wins the Championship
Special GuestReferee: Bret "The Hitman" Hart
[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] The winners of the match...... CHRISTIAN... AND TOM CRUISE!! -[[ A pause as Christian holds the world title close to his chest, almost weeping with joy... ]]- [ Gary Michael Cappetta ] AAAAAAAAAND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEW SOLID GOLD WRESTLING.. WOOOOOORRRRLLLLLLD.. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIOOOOOOOOON........ TOOOOOOOOOOOOM CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUISE!!!!
-[[
Christian's face drops.. The fans go
dead silent.. But then erupt when they realize that what has just
transpired is completely and utterly fucked up...... Tom Cruise is the
world champion.. TOM CRUISE.. IS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF SOLID
GOLD WRESTLING!! Tom Cruise looks absolutely shocked..... What.. Is going
on here!? ]]- |
Winners:
Christian & Tom Cruise via Pin Fall
New SGW World Champion: Tom Cruise
[ Christian ] NO!! I.. DEMAND... A NEW.. DECISION!! -[[ Christian shoves Nick Patrick hard.. ]]- [ Christian ] I PINNED VAL VENIS!! I PINNED VAL VENIS!! I'M KEEPING THIS DAMN BELT!! -[[ Spit is flying out of Christian's mouth as he yells.. ]]- [ Christian ] SEE!? SEE!? -[[ Christian raises the championship belt to a loud round of boos.. ]]- [ Christian ] I'M THE DAMN CHAMPION!! -[[ Jimmy Cordaris opens his mouth to speak but Christian punches him down!! The other referees all go on the defensive, waiting for more attacks but they don't come.. Christian looks like he's going to have a complete nervous breakdown.. Val Venis grabs Teddy Long and they head to the back, shaking their heads in disbelief at what is transpiring in the ring.. Christian looks down at the belt.. ]]- [ Christian ] NO!! -[[ Christian looks back up at the referees and out at the fans as they boo him relentlessly.. ]]- [ Christian ] I.. MADE.. THE PIN!! -[[ Christian's face is completely crimson.. ]]- [ Christian ] THAT MEANS I RETAIN MY BELT!! -[[ He turns back to the referees.. ]]- [ Christian ] YOU KNOW IT.. I KNOW IT.. AND MY.. PEEPS KNOW IT!! -[[ He holds the title at waist level, pressing it hard against his abdomen.. He turns his back to the referees now.. ]]- [ Christian ] This title reign is lasting FOREVER, dammit!! -[[ He smiles, almost as if he's assured himself that he's still the champion.. ]]- [ Christian ] Now.. One of you zebras get over here and strap this belt around the Captain's waist!! -[[ A pause.. None of them move to do it.. Christian grows impatient.. ]]- [ Christian ] I'M WAAAAAAAAAITIIIIIING!! -[[ Maria's music hits!! Maria and Jillian Hall walk out onto the ramp.. Maria makes sure to blow everyone kisses while Jillian appears to be all business.. They both climb in the ring and Jillian calls for a microphone of her own.. Christian stands there, staring her down as he holds the world title in place... Jillian walks right up to him and gets in his face.. She begins laying down the law.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] Christian... You're absolutely right..... You DID pin Val Venis!! -[[ Christian nods.. ]]- [ Christian ] That's right.. I DID!! -[[ She smirks.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] And the rules of the match stated.. That the person who makes the pin fall... Will be the champion!! -[[ She turns to Maria, confirming this, Maria nods excitedly, that big, stupid smile on her face.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] But...... Tom Cruise also pinned Teddy Long.. -[[ Jillian shrugs her shoulders.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] Soooo... What do we do? -[[ Christian raises the championship belt and gets down in HER face.. ]]- [ Christian ] I KEEP THE BELT.. THAT.. IS WHAT WE DO!! -[[ She looks down, smiling.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] Actually......... -[[ She looks back up, staring Christian right in the eye.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] It's not the complicated situation you're making it out to be.. -[[ She puts one hand on her hip, looking cocky as Christian is forced to stand there and wonder what's on her mind.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] TOM CRUISE WAS THE LEGAL MAN IN THE MATCH!! -[[ Huge pop. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] So, ladies and gentlemen..... YOUR NEEEEEEEEW SGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! -[[ She points at the movie star in the corner.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] TOM CRUUUUUUUUUISE!!!! -[[ Christian is shaking all over, looking furious.. And Nick Patrick rips the title out of Christian's grasp from behind!! HUGE POP!! Nick Patrick hands the world championship belt to Tom Cruise!! Cruise stares at it in awe, not fully comprehending what to do... Christian storms up on Cruise and begins jawing right in his ear.. Cruise nods, smiling, and calls for a microphone of his own.... ]]- [ Tom Cruise ] Thank all of you for your support... And thank you, Maria, for giving me this opportunity.. -[[ Cruise looks over at Christian and winks.. ]]- [ Tom Cruise ] But..... I'm afraid I've done all I can do as champion of this great organization.. And I'm going to relinquish this championship back to the previous holder of it... My good friend, Christian.... Congratulations, Christian!! -[[ Christian smiles and Tom Cruise hands him the championship belt.. Christian raises the belt in the air, laughing. ]]- [ Christian ] I'M THE CHAMPION!! I'M THE CHAMPION AGAIN!! TWO TIMES!! -[[ Christian raises the belt up and kisses it hard.. Until Jillian clears her throat.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] I should probably inform you both.. That in the event of someone relinquishing the world championship for any reason besides illness, death, or injury... The championship is immediately placed in the hands of the number one contender... And in this case... That's VAL VENIS!! -[[ Huge pop. Christian, without hesitating, shoves the belt back into Tom Cruise's hands.. ]]- [ Christian ] Take the belt, dammit... Just take it.. -[[ Cruise just shakes his head.. ]]- [ Tom Cruise ] I tried. -[[ Christian begins walking across the ring.. He steps through the ropes and stands on the apron as Maria takes the microphone away Jillian.. Christian can only stand and watch as his belt is completely defaced.. Tom Cruise looks like he genuinely doesn't want to upset Christian.. ]]- [ Maria ] YAY!! TOM CRUISE IS THE CHAMPION!! CELEBRATE, TOM!! -[[ Tom raises the championship in the air, forcing a smile for the cameras.. ]]- [ Maria ] JUMP UP AND DOWN!! HIT TOM'S MUSIC!! -[[ "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger hits.. ]]- [ Maria ] Care Bears, Muppet Babies, Ricky Steamboat, and Tom Cruise is the new world champion!! HEARTBREAKER IS THE BEST PAY-PER-VIEW EVER!! TOM CRUISE IS THE BEST WORLD CHAMPION EVER!! -[[ Christian shakes his head, climbs back through the ropes and stalks up behind Maria.. The fans scream and boo but it's too late.. UNPRETTIER ON MARIA!!! UNPRETTIER ON MARIA!! CHRISTIAN HAS JUST DRILLED MARIA FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT!! Christian stands up, staring down at her... He wipes the sweat from his brow as Jillian and the referees all dive down around her and begin checking on her.. Cruise looks shocked.. Christian climbs out of the ring and begins walking up the ramp.. He stands on the stage, watching everyone check on Maria as Cruise stands there with the title belt... Christian slaps himself on the chest as the fans boo.. ]]- [ Christian ] That's how I roll.
-[[
Fade out.
]]- |