SHOCK: The Golden Rule | April 22nd, 2006 | Live From: Providence, Rhode Island | Commentators: Joey Styles & Don Callis
Rhino def. Mitch via Pin Fall w/The Gore
CM Punk def. Mikey via Pin Fall w/The Pepsi Plunge
-[[ Fans are lined up around the building, scattered all over the parking lot. ]]-
-[[ The limousine drives into the shot and all of them turn their attention to it, buzzing in anticipation.. It comes to a stop only a few feet away from the rear entrance door.... The limousine driver steps out of the front and makes his way to the back.. He opens the back door and....... It's Edge! Edge steps out of the limousine with that trademark grin on his face.. He raises the Solid Gold Wrestling World Tag Team Title over his head and laughs.. The fans outside erupt in boos.. ]]-
[ Edge ] SHUT UP!!
-[[ He cackles.. ]]-
[ Edge ] I DON'T SUCK... I ENDED CHAVO GUERRERO'S CAREER!! HA HA!!
-[[ Christian steps out behind him, more calmly, with his own half of the tag team titles slung over his shoulder.. Christian looks around, hearing the boos with a smug look on his face.. He cups his ear.. ]]-
[ Christian ] What's that sound, Edge?
-[[ Edge looks curious. ]]-
[ Edge ] I'm not sure, Chris.. What is that?
-[[ Christian says it in a matter of fact tone.. ]]-
[ Christian ] No Venis.. No Chavo....
[ Edge ] Yeah?
[ Christian ] I think that's the sound of a good show for the first time since Solid Gold returned!
-[[ Edge nods, smiling. ]]-
[ Edge ] I definitely.. Hear that! HA HA!!
-[[ Christian is shoved forward suddenly.. He turns around and Trish is getting out of the limo behind him. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] ..Excuse me?
-[[ Christian shrugs. ]]-
[ Christian ] Oh, was I blocking you?
-[[ She looks pissed. ]]-
[ Christian ] Sucks for you.
-[[ The limo driver shuts the door as she exits.. The fans are booing loudly. ]]-
[ Christian ] These people are idiots.
-[[ Trish crosses her arms.. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] You seem to be in a good mood for someone that's never going to see the main event again.
[ Christian ] We retired Chavo Guerrero.. If I know Jeff like I think I know Jeff.. He'll forgive me for doing that alone.
-[[ Trish shakes her head.. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] You.. Don't know Jeff.. At all.
-[[ Christian exhales.. ]]-
[ Christian ] And besides.. Even if he does still have a bone to pick.. Not that he DOES, mind you...
-[[ Christian slaps the tag title on the center plate, smirking. ]]-
[ Christian ] He knows where to find me.
-[[ Edge steps up with his title displayed prominently. ]]-
[ Edge ] Us.
[ Christian ] Yeah.. Us.
[ Trish Stratus ] Look what he did to Val Venis.. And Val didn't even DO anything to him.
-[[ Edge, dead serious. ]]-
[ Edge ] He was born..
-[[ Christian shrugs. ]]-
[ Christian ] And now he's... Dead.
[ Edge ] It's quite poetic, actually.
[ Trish Stratus ] Whatever. Let's go inside.
-[[ The turn to go inside the building and as soon as Edge puts his hand on the door handle, Trish is yanked off her feet by... Chris Masters! Masterlock on Trish Stratus! He swings her around like a rag doll! Christian and Edge both turn and see Masters slinging her like she's weighs absolutely nothing.. And before they can make a move, they're both swarmed! Ken Kennedy and the Big Show assault Edge and Christian and begin pummeling them down with help from all five members of the Spirit Squad! The Big Show and Kennedy hold up Christian while all five members of the Spirit Squad hold Edge up.. Both of them wear looks of fury as the puppet masters approach them from the side... Jeff Jarrett, with a guitar in hand, is followed by Randy Orton, Jillian Hall, and Vince Russo.. Orton is wearing a nice suit with the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight title over one shoulder and the Television title over the other.... Masters has stopped swinging Trish around and is now holding her in place as tears stream down her face... Masters is smiling a sick smile as he holds her there.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Well, well, well..... Edge and Christian!
-[[ Jarrett walks casually up to them, standing only a few feet away.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] The hell happened to you two?
-[[ He laughs.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] We coulda' been beautiful together.. A bona fide.. Glass ceilin'..
-[[ Jarrett shakes his head. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I guess.... Ya' forgot where ya' came from..
-[[ Orton shakes his head, smiling.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] So easy to do, I know.. Heh..
-[[ Edge spits on the ground. ]]-
[ Edge ] Screw you, Orton!
-[[ Jarrett, without hesitating, kicks Edge right in the face. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] That's enough o'that.
-[[ Jarrett looks Edge and Christian up and down.. He has them right where he wants them.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I ain't cryin' over it.. I don't dwell on things.. I just.. Make'em right.
-[[ Jarrett paces back and forth in front of them and looks back at Russo.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Russo... I think Mister Reso left somethin' in the limo.. Go get that for me.
-[[ Russo nods and walks to the back of the limo.. He opens it up and looks inside.. And then pulls out.. The Solid Gold Wrestling Gimmick Championship.. Russo walks over to Jarrett with it, smiling.. He hands it to Jarrett. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Wow... That belt sucks, Jeff.
[ Jeff Jarrett ] You're right, Kennedy... And now.. It's yours.
[ Ken Kennedy ] Fantaaaastic!
[ Christian ] You can't do that, that's my damn belt!!
-[[ Jarrett dangles the Gimmick title from his hand.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Wrong... Ya' see.. There's a rule in the book that Jillian found.. And well.. She's known about it all along.. But figured.. What the hell.. A few double champions ain't gonna hurt anybody.. But I'm back and I'm enforcin' the rules.. And the rules say... No single competitor can hold more than one championship at any given time.. And since I'm the owner.. That's right, ain't it?
-[[ Jarrett kneels down in Christian's face.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I am the owner, right? Mister Big-Shot, runnin' the show while I'm gone.. Heh..
-[[ Jarrett stands back up.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Since I'm the owner.. I'm strippin' you of this belt.. And I'm givin' it to Ken Kennedy.
-[[ Christian is shaking with anger.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] ..Because I can.
-[[ Kennedy reaches out to take the Gimmick Title.. Removing a hand from Christian.. Freeing his arm! Christian takes the opening and elbows Kennedy in the gut, turns and eye gouges the Big Show! Christian goes straight for Jarrett and Jarrett takes a step back...... And Christian gets plowed over by Mike Awesome! Edge tries to help him but the Spirit Squad are holding him tight and Awesome overpowers Christian quickly and holds him in place.. Jarrett, pissed, but with relief in his voice, speaks.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Christian.. This is Mike Awesome.
-[[ Christian is struggling to get away, but Awesome is holding him tight with a wild look in his eyes.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And this... Is what he does.
[ Mike Awesome ] YEAH! FUCK YEAH! AWESOME FUCKIN' BOMB!
-[[ And Mike Awesome plants Christian's head between his legs... And Awesome Bombs him straight through the windshield of the limousine! Only Christian's legs stick out from the shattered glass as Awesome spins around and begins pointing to himself with bomb thumbs... ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] RIGHT HERE! RIGHT HERE!
-[[ Edge begins fighting like crazy to get free but even he can't fight off five men.. Awesome stomps over to Jarrett and Orton and Orton smirks and removes the Television title from his shoulder and he hands it to Mike Awesome.. Awesome looks at the belt with wide eyes.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] All yours.
[ Mike Awesome ] FUCK YEAH!! ALL MINE!! FUCKIN' GOLD!! TELEVISION TITLE!! FUCK!! YEAH!!
-[[ Awesome wanders off to the side with the title where Lance Storm is waiting on crutches.. Storm is smiling. ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] LOOK, STORM!! FUCK YEAH!! I'M THE TV CHAMPION!! I GET FREE TV DINNERS AND SHIT!!
-[[ Storm shakes his head.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] I'll take that.
-[[ Storm takes the Television title and throws it over his shoulder where it rests.. ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] FUCK YEAH!! YOU'RE THE NEW CHAMPION!! LANCE STORM!! FUCK YEAH!! THE CHAMP IS HERE!! RIGHT FUCKIN' HERE!! RIGHT.. THE FUCK.. HERE!! YEEEEEEEAH!!
-[[ Vince Russo walks over to Storm and Awesome.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Jeff wants you both to know.. Ya' keep up the good work.. And one day..
-[[ He shrugs.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] No promises.. But one day.. They might be a place in da' Golden Rule jus' for you two.
[ Lance Storm ] Good to see someone appreciates our talent.
[ Vince Russo ] And that Maja' Gunnz has got some fine ass titties.
-[[ Storm looks dejected. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Of course.
-[[ Storm and Awesome walk away as Russo rejoins Jarrett.. Kennedy now has the Gimmick Championship strapped around his waist.. Jeff Jarrett walks over to Trish, who is still locked firmly in a loose variation of the Masterlock.. Jillian walks with Jarrett, arm in arm.... ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Raise'er up!
-[[ Masters forces Trish's head upward so she has to look Jarrett in the face.. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] You bastard... You... Bastard!!
-[[ Jarrett laughs.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I'm the bastard?! Ya' helped ol' Tomko power bomb me through a damn stage!
-[[ Jarrett squeezes her face, becoming more pissed off. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I coulda' died, you bitch!
[ Trish Stratus ] I wish you did..
-[[ Jarrett rests the guitar over his shoulder, looking surprised. ]]
[ Jeff Jarrett ] That hurts, Trish.
-[[ He sighs. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] But that's alright.. 'Cause I got me a new woman.
-[[ He pulls Jillian closer. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] A woman that knows what loyalty is..
-[[ Jillian poses.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Me!
-[[ Jeff looks Trish up and down and then over at Jillian.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Jillian.. What's your favorite part of ol' Trish here?
-[[ Jillian looks like she's thinking really hard.. And then caresses Trish's face.. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] Get your hands off me, you bitch.
-[[ Jillian looks offended but then laughs.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] I like her pretty face.
-[[ Jarrett points at Masters.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Break it.
-[[ Masters smiles.. And then drives Trish face first into the driver's side window! The glass dents in and Masters pulls her face out and throws her down on the ground.. He begins flexing his muscles and laughing. ]]-
[ Chris Masters ] Damn! That felt good! Nobody breaks the Masterlock!
-[[ Jarrett turns back to Edge and walks over to him... ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] You're walkin' out o'here because I advertised a match with your ass in it..
[ Jillian Hall ] The Jesus Christ Superstar always delivers!
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Ha ha.... That's right, Jillian.. And tonight.. I'm advertisin' Edge.. Gettin' his ass kicked..
-[[ Jarrett laughs.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] By the locker room leader!
-[[ Randy Orton walks up, making sure the world title is in the camera shot.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And don't forget, Jeff... Aside from me killing Taz for the THIRD TIME tonight...
-[[ Orton turns to the camera, staring into it, hard.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Another legend..... Will die.... By my hand!
-[[ Jarrett laughs.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] How could I forget, Orton?
-[[ Orton puts his arm around Jarrett's shoulder.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] It's the least I could do.. For the man who made..
-[[ He hoists the belt up higher.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] THIS... Possible.
[ Jillian Hall ] It's going to be the biggest event in SGW history!
[ Jeff Jarrett ] HA HA..... And everyone in Solid Gold Wrestling can get used to it...
-[[ Jarrett points at the title belt on Orton's shoulder.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Because we ARE.. The Golden Rule!!
-[[ He laughs loudly as Jillian jumps up and down in excitement. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And whoever has the GOLD...... MAKES THE RULES!
-[[ Orton raises an eyebrow. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Get a look at greatness.
The camera zooms past
them and remains still on the seething mad face of Edge.. His eyes are
locked on the people who have done this to him... They laugh, oblivious to
what they may have unleashed on themselves or Solid Gold Wrestling in
Caribbean Cool & Grandmaster Sexay
Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Scott James
Winners: Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore via Pin Fall
[ Shane Douglas ] HA HA HA.. HELLO, SOLID GOLD WRESTLING!!
-[[ He laughs out loud.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] IT'S THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE!! AND DING MOTHER FUCKIN' DONG!!
-[[ He tilts his head back.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] THE BITCH IS GONE! GONE! FUCKIN' GONE!! AND DOUBLE MOTHER FUCKIN' J...
-[[ His eyes go wide.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] HA HA HA... IS FUCKIN' BACK!!
-[[ He continues with a big smile on his face.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] FUCKIN' FINALLY, THINGS ARE THE WAY.. THEY'RE FUCKIN' SUPPOSED TO BE.. NO MORE CAREBEARS, NO MORE... GOD DAMN BULLSHIT!! YOU FUCKIN' HEARD ME.......... NO.. MORE.. BULLLLSSHIIITTT!! CHAVO GUERRERO IS GONE.. AND GOOD FUCKIN' RIDDANCE.. FUCK THAT FUCKIN' BEAN PICKER!! VAL VENIS.. FUCKIN' GONE.. AND FUCKIN' DEAD!!
-[[ Douglas points at the camera, looking disgusted. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] AND EDGE... EDGE JACKED OFF IN HIS FUCKIN' FACE!! DISGUSTING!! DISGUSTING!! GOD DAMN FUCKING DISGUSTING... I WISH I COULDA DONE IT MY OWN GOD DAMN SELF!! BECAUSE NOBODY CUMS.. LIKE THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE CUMS!! GLUE YOUR GOD DAMN EYES SHUT!!
-[[ He reaches off camera.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] COME HERE, YOU FUCKIN' WHORE!!
-[[ He yanks Mickie James from off-camera. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] OPEN YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH!!
-[[ She looks around.. Confused. ]]-
[ Mickie James ] ...Why?
[ Shane Douglas ] BECAUSE I'M GONNA JACK OFF IN IT!! HA HA HA!!
-[[ He forces her down on her knees and goes for his belt. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] HERE WE GO!! IF DOUBLE J WANTS TO ONE-UP EDGE... THIS IS THE SHIT!!
-[[ Douglas tilts his head back and laughs as he undoes his zipper. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] THE SHIT!! THE SHIT!! THE GOD DAMN FUCKIN' SHIT!! HA HA HA!!
-[[ Scott Steiner walks casually into the shot, flexing his pecs.. Shane Douglas goes pale white. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] The fuck is goin' on here?
-[[ Douglas swallows hard.. Mickie, still on her knees speaks. ]]-
[ Mickie James ] Thank you, Scotty.. He was going to make me put his thing in my mouth!
[ Scott Steiner ] That right, Shane?
-[[ Douglas gulps loudly.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] HA HA HA.. THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS BULLSHIT!!
-[[ Mickie begins to stand and Steiner pushes her back down to her knees.. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] Well, Franchise........ Let's see what you got.
-[[ Douglas laughs and strokes his goatee as she looks disgusted.. The Rock walks into the shot with a grin. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Has the Rock walked into a sausage party?
-[[ He looks down and sees Mickie on her knees. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Well.. It's been a while for the Rock....... But..
-[[ The Rock jiggles his belt buckle.. ]]-
[ The Rock ] The Rock hopes ya' like long dongs.
-[[ Steiner removes his sun glasses. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] You think you can please this bitch better than Freakzilla?
-[[ The Rock laughs and waggles his head around.. ]]-
[ The Rock ] The Rock don't like to brag, mama.. But the Rock is perfection in the sack.. Hell.. The Rock jacks himself off better than most girls have jacked off the Rock.. Ya' heard?
-[[ CM Punk walks into the shot, looking disgusted.. ]]-
[ CM Punk ] This is pathetic... Disgusting.... Degrading.... Mickie.. Get up off your knees.
-[[ She slowly begins to stand and Steiner shoves her back down so hard that she lands flat on her back.. ]]-
[ Scott Steiner ] Nobody tells my freak what to do.. But me!! You hear me, mother fucker?
-[[ CM Punk shakes his head.. ]]-
[ CM Punk ] You know what.. Forget it... This segment went downhill a long time ago.. I don't want any part of this..
-[[ He turns to walk away.. ]]-
[ CM Punk ] This is garbage.. Desperate for attention.. Ratings.. Whatever.. This is just too far.
-[[ And as CM Punk turns around, he's blasted by Rhino!! GORE! GORE! GORE! CM Punk lays flat on his back and clutches at his head where it hit the floor... Rhino looks up at the other three people in the room, smiling.. ]]-
[ Rhino ] Yeah..... Yeah.... gore... Gore.... GORE!!
-[[ The Rock laughs and turns to Steiner, paying no attention to Rhino and Punk.. ]]-
[ The Rock ] So, Steiner.. Baby.. Whoa.. What's the story here? You just loan this little tramp out? Let'er get a taste o'what a real man's like every now and then so she don't go gay, livin' with the big bad booty daddy?
[ Scott Steiner ] Excuse me, shitdick.. The fuck did you just say to me?
-[[ The Rock shrugs. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Well... It was gonna happen anyway.
The Rock punches
Steiner in the face!! The Rock and Steiner begin trading punches like
crazy and security floods into the scene to separate them.... Steiner and
the Rock are doing everything they can to get at the other but the
security is just too thick.... Jesus Christ...... This segment was
just...... Fuck it.. SG-DUB! SG-DUB!
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Mark Yeaton
Winner: Steve Austin via Pin Fall
[ Jillian Hall ] Congratulations, Steve.. Really.
-[[ She looks around at the fans, they boo loudly.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Everyone.. Give Steve a hand!
-[[ The fans begin a large "AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" chant.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Because the success.. The accolades.. The accomplishments.. End now!
-[[ Masters laughs.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] They do! They really do!
-[[ Austin stands there, looking pissed as usual. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Last week, Steve... You did defeat Chris Masters..
-[[ Masters looks pissed that she mentioned this.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] And you did win the World Warrior tournament... And you did become.. The United States Champion..
-[[ Huge pop for the mention of Austin's huge win. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] But.. Steve.. The success.. The accolades... They don't HAVE to end..
-[[ Austin calls for a microphone. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] Do you plan on gettin' to the point or are you gonna run that cock sucker all night?
-[[ Jillian's jaw drops.. And she goes pale. Masters throws off the cape and begins yelling down the ramp. Jillian puts her hand on his chest to hold him back.. Masters calms down and stands in place. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] If you'll let me finish.. I'll get to the point.
[ Steve Austin ] Well, get to it, ya' tramp.
[ Jillian Hall ] Can I finish!?
[ Steve Austin ] Do you wanna finish?
[ Jillian Hall ] Yes, I d--
[ Steve Austin ] What?
[ Jillian Hall ] YES, I DO!!
[ Steve Austin ] Do you want me to stun your ass?
-[[ A pause.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] ....No..
[ Steve Austin ] Then what are ya' out here for?
-[[ She actually manages to laugh a bit... ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] That's funny, Steve.. Really..
-[[ Boos. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] As I was saying.. Your success doesn't have to come to a screeching halt... You see.. Mister Steamboat, before he was unceremoniously.... Eliminated.... By the Masterpiece..
-[[ Masters leans in, casually.. ]]-
[ Chris Masters ] I would like to add, Jillian.. That no one has ever... Broken my Masterlock.
-[[ Jillian nods and rolls her eyes.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] That is correct, Chris.
-[[ She clears her throat.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Mister Steamboat put a clause in the World Warrior contract.. That stated the winner of the tournament would become the number one contender to the World Heavyweight Championship... And a tournament winner.. The United States Champion... The number one contender!?
-[[ The fans pop as Jillian stands there, looking impressed. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] That's exactly the kind of person we're looking for to join the Golden Rule!
-[[ Boos. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Buuuuuuuut.....
-[[ Louder boos.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] The title shot isn't for a specific time or place...
-[[ Austin has shown no emotion whatsoever since the mention of the world title.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] So.. We don't have any idea when you'll get it!
-[[ She shakes her head.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] No idea at all! Isn't that something?
-[[ Austin raises his microphone. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] What've you got up your sleeve?
-[[ The look on her face tells you that she's got him.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Well, Steve... If you join the Golden Rule... Your shot will come very soon..
-[[ She thinks.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Say around... Our next pay-per-view on May 21st... Body Count!
-[[ Austin stands there, staring. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Jeff would love to have the first pay-per-view main event of his NEW era be an all Golden Rule main event! Steve Austin.. Versus Randy Orton! No matter who wins... The Golden Rule reigns supreme!
[ Steve Austin ] ..What if I say no?
-[[ Huge pop. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Then.. It could be a while.. I mean.. Those pesky contracts.. Sometimes they just get lost.
-[[ She shrugs.. Austin looks around, not believing this bullshit. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] Well... Hell, kid... You got me.
-[[ Jillian smiles really big.. Austin climbs out of the ring and begins walking up the ramp.. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] If you wanna be partners.. I'm gonna give ya' my answer.. Up close and personal!!
-[[ The fans don't know what to think.. Austin marches up the ramp toward Jillian and Masters.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Steve.. This is the smartest thing you've ever done.
-[[ Austin stands face to face with her and extends his hand.. She reaches to shake it.. And Austin moves his hand and GIVES HER THE DOUBLE BIRD! Jillian's eyes go wide and Austin raises the microphone.. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] OHHHH HELLLLLL NOOOOOOOO!!!
-[[ Huge pop.. Jillian holds Masters back again and raises her microphone, looking pissed. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Is this where you give me a stunner, Austin?!
-[[ Austin looks at her, smiling.. But confused. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Stay back, Masters.. The big, bad Texan is going to hit a woman!
-[[ Austin's smile disappears..... Her smile grows bigger. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] ......Again!
-[[ The fans "ooooooooohhh" collectively.. Knowing she's done it now.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] What's the matter, Steve? Lose your nerve?
-[[ Austin shakes his head and walks past her, he's not taking this shit.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Big man's walking out! Bye, Steve!
-[[ Chris Masters laughs and whispers in her ear.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Oh.. And before you leave, like the little crybaby bitch that you are...
-[[ The fans "OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" even louder as Austin stops in his tracks.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Leave that belt behind... You didn't beat Chris Masters for real!
-[[ Austin doesn't move. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] You didn't break his Masterlock!
-[[ Masters locks his hands together. ]]-
[ Chris Masters ] Nobody breaks it! Nobody breaks my Masterlock!!
Austin slowly turns
around and walks back toward them.. Masters looks ready to brawl.. Austin
holds the title belt out in front of him.. Jillian reaches out to take
it.. And Austin drops it at her feet... She looks down at the belt and
back up at Austin... Austin stares at her.. And she quickly ducks down and
grabs the belt, but Austin doesn't strike.. Austin and turns and walks
away, through the curtain... He's leaving everything behind rather than
slaving away for Jeff Jarrett!! Jillian holds the United States
Championship and smiles as Austin disappears into the back.
John Cena versus
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Charles Robinson
Winner: The Rock via Pin Fall
[ Raven ] We can trust them, Saturn..
-[[ Saturn stops and stares down at Raven, looking pissed off. ]]-
[ Raven ] Chris Benoit is an honorable man... You could stand to learn a lot from him.
-[[ Saturn scoffs and begins pacing again.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Tonight.. He and Dean Malenko will be our partners in victory over the tyrannical two that claim to represent all that is right with our country.. Unbeknownst to them.. Or hell.. Maybe they do know.. They represent the things that tear our country apart.. And more importantly.. The things that I despise..
-[[ Raven hangs his head and continues speaking. ]]-
[ Raven ] Once, I have already defeated John Bradshaw Layfield..
-[[ A pause.. ]]-
[ Raven ] In his eyes, he has been shamed.. In my eyes.. I've set him free.
-[[ Meanie looks confused.. ]]-
[ The Blue Meanie ] What the hell does that mean?
-[[ Raven turns and slaps the Meanie right across the face.. Raven shakes his head.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Incompetent.
-[[ Stevie raises an eyebrow.. ]]-
[ Stevie Richards ] What does THAT mean?
-[[ Raven looks at Stevie, disgusted.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Shut up, monkey.
-[[ Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko enter the room.. Benoit walks over and stands right over Raven.. Benoit looks down at him with a dead serious look on his face... Perry Saturn rolls right up on Benoit, breathing heavily.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Saturn... Back off.
-[[ Saturn looks at Raven, his face twisted up in anger.. Benoit's eyes don't leave Saturn. ]]-
[ Raven ] ..Now.
-[[ Saturn stomps off... Raven looks up at Benoit, a childish smirk on his face. ]]-
[ Raven ] To what do I owe this honor, Christopher?
[ Chris Benoit ] Are you ready?
-[[ Raven shrugs. ]]-
[ Raven ] Maybe.
-[[ Benoit doesn't look satisfied with that answer.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Hey.. That's as good as you can expect.
-[[ Benoit nods.. ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] Works for me.
-[[ The door to the room opens and John Bradshaw Layfield storms into the room with Kurt Angle behind him.. And behind them is... Vince Russo.. They storm right up to Raven and Benoit and Layfield begins pointing down at Raven and yelling loudly as Russo listens.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Jarrett's made a big deal out o'strippin' people of their titles tonight... Here's another one!! I want that Intercontinental title ripped off his damn waist.. And put around mine!! I deserve it!! I had his ass BEAT at World Warrior.. And if it wasn't for that... Sawed off runt, Chris Benoit.. I WOULD BE THE CHAMPION!!
-[[ Kurt Angle stands behind, looking ready to pounce at any second.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Yeah! He doesn't deserve to be called a champion, Russo... Look at him!
-[[ Angle points right at Raven.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Can you say.. Homeless?
-[[ Russo nods.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Ya' got a point.. And 'sides... That's what da' rulebook says..
-[[ Russo turns to Raven.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Gimme da' Inta'continental title, ya' schmuck.
-[[ Raven doesn't even look up.. ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] This is ridiculous.
[ Vince Russo ] It's the rules, cocksucka'.. Gimme 'dat belt.
[ Raven ] No.
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] It's the rules, hobo, give it up!! To me!! The man you robbed!!
-[[ Raven speaks in a matter-of-fact tone.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Yes, you're right.. The rules do state that one man can not hold two championships at one time..
-[[ He raises his eyebrows as he continues.. ]]-
[ Raven ] But the rules state something else.. The double champion is forced to relinquish the championship belt of his choice... And in fact, is allowed to choose the successor.. Of the championship he chooses to drop.
-[[ Russo looks surprised that Raven has this knowledge of the Solid Gold rule book.. Raven unsnaps the Intercontinental title from around his waist and looks at it.. ]]-
[ Raven ] And.. I choose to relinquish the...... Hardcore title.
-[[ Layfield looks furious.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] But that's your damn garbage style of wrestling!!
-[[ Raven smirks.. ]]-
[ Raven ] You could say that.. And you could also say.. I'm keeping the Intercontinental title to spite you.
-[[ Shrug. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] I don't want that hardcore piece of shit.
[ Raven ] Who says I was giving it to you anyway?
-[[ Raven stands up and lays the Hardcore title over Benoit's shoulder.. Raven looks at Layfield. ]]-
[ Raven ] Deal with it.
-[[ Layfield turns red with anger.. He tursn to Russo.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Do something about this!!
-[[ Russo puts his hands up.. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Da' fuck you want me to do? It's the god damn fuckin' rules, Layfield!
-[[ Layfield turns back to Raven.. Fuming mad. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] You won't think.. YOU WON'T THINK THIS IS SO GOD DAMN FUNNY LATER TONIGHT!!
-[[ Layfield turns and slaps Angle on the chest.. ]]-
[ John Bradshaw Layfield ] Come on, Angle.. Let's get ready..
[ Kurt Angle ] ..Yeah!! You two.. You're going to tap!
-[[ Russo looks a bit frustrated over this.. When Layfield and Angle turn to leave, Russo speaks to them. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] Come on, boys.. Let me talk to you two about somethin'..
-[[ Angle and Layfield walk out of the room.. Russo follows them out without incident.. Benoit looks at the title on his shoulder and then back at Raven... ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] Raven... Thank you.
-[[ Raven nods.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Thank me in the ring tonight....
-[[ Benoit looks dead serious.. ]]-
[ Raven ] Let's kick some ass.
Raven walks off,
leaving Benoit with the Hardcore championship.
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Jimmy Cordaris
-[[ Edge assaults the Undertaker as soon as he steps over the ropes, driving elbows and forearms into his head repeatedly.. Undertaker shakes them off and pushes Edge back against the ropes.. Taker throat thrusts Edge and follows it up with a forearm to the head.. Taker tosses Edge onto the mat and bounces off the ropes.. He goes for a leg drop but Edge rolls out of the way and Taker lands flat on his ass.. Taker groans in pain and Edge bounces off of the ropes.. Dropkick to the seated Undertaker! Edge stands up, smiling, and Taker executes the Deadman sit-up! Edge looks scared for a second and Undertaker stands up and begins advancing on him.. Edge runs at him and hits him with a clothesline but the Undertaker won't go down! Edge bounces off of the ropes and hits him with another clothesline but Undertaker will not fall!! Edge looks pissed, hits the ropes again and goes for a third clothesline but Taker ducks it, Edge turns around and Taker GOOZLES HIM!! The Undertaker lifts Edge up for the chokeslam but Edge rakes Taker's eyes and drops with his arm around Taker's neck..... EDGEACUTION OUT OF THE CHOKESLAM!! Edge covers Taker!! One! Two! THREE!! Edge has defeated the Undertaker with that damn Edgeacution out of NOWHERE! ]]-
Edge immediately exits
the ring and escapes through the crowd as Snitsky and the Harris Brothers
can do nothing but watch.. The fans give Edge a surprisingly positive
reaction as the frustrated Golden Rule enforcers leave to the backstage
area in frustration.
Winner: Edge via Pin Fall
[ Chris Jericho ] That was a bunch of crap!!
-[[ His hair is all over the place.. He looks like he's lost his mind. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] I was screwed!! THIS.... IS A CONSPIRACY!!
-[[ Carlito walks into the shot with a smile on his face.. He clutches an apple in his hand. ]]-
[ Carlito ] You're not the only one that was screwed... Carlito.. Was also screwed!
-[[ Jericho looks at him like he's an idiot. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] You got pinned clean in the middle of the ring, you apple chewing jack ass!!
-[[ Carlito looks like he's tasted something sour. ]]-
[ Carlito ] So... So did you!! You're no better than Carlito!!
-[[ Carlito shrugs.. ]]-
[ Carlito ] Doesn't matter! It's in the past, Chris... Besides.. It give us more to talk about.. On tonight edition.. Of Carlito's Cabana! Right? It will be exciting.. Do not get on yourself... Because we both have grievances to relive ourselves of.. On live television!
-[[ Jericho smiles and nods.. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] You're right...
[ Carlito ] Carlito knows he's right!
[ Chris Jericho ] Except for one thing..
[ Carlito ] What's dat?
-[[ And Jericho punches Carlito in the face!! Jericho begins pummeling Carlito into the ground and he yanks him up and whips him hard into the wall!! Jericho then charges.. ENZIGURI!! Carlito does a complete somersault and lands on his ass!! And then Jericho grabs Carlito's apple and takes a bite out of it..... And spits it right in Carlito's face!! And then Jericho kicks Carlito right in the face... Carlito stops moving... ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] Except that Carlito's Cabana..... IS CANCELED!
-[[ Jericho turns to walk away and finds himself face to face with... Kane! ]]-
[ Kane ] Uh.. Huh... Ah-huh... Ahuh-huh-ha... HA HA HA.... AH-HAHAHAHAA!!
-[[ Jericho shakes his head and walks away as Kane walks toward Carlito and lays down next to him, propping himself up on his elbows.... Kane keeps laughing as he looks at the bloody mess that used to be Carlito... ]]-
[ Kane ] CAR-LEEEEE-TOOOOOO!!! IT'S..... KAAaaAAaAaaAAANE!!
-[[ Kane laughs even louder and picks up what's left of Carlito's apple... He begins staring at it and laughing like it just told him the most hysterical joke ever..... And then Kane looks over and his face goes dead serious.. ]]-
[ Kane ] Can't you see... I'm busy!
-[[ Simon Dean smiles down at him.. ]]-
[ Simon Dean ] Wow.. Just looking at you, Kane.. I gotta say.......
-[[ Kane stands up, staring down at Simon Dean. ]]-
[ Simon Dean ] That fire that allegedly scarred you and turned you into... A big, bald freak..
-[[ Kane begins breathing heavily. ]]-
[ Simon Dean ] It looks like the only thing it didn't burn off... Was calories!
-[[ Dean laughs. ]]-
[ Simon Dean ] But.. I can help you! With my patented... Simon System--
And Kane GOOZLES HIM! Chokeslam on Simon Dean! Kane begins laughing and
walks off, eating Carlito's apple.
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Hardcore Rules
Referee: Scott James
Winners: Mike Awesome via Pin Fall
[ Randy Orton ] For five years.. One legend in Solid Gold Wrestling has withstood the test of time.
-[[ Orton pauses and the fans fill the empty space with boos.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And tonight.. Before all of you... The fans..
-[[ Boos.. He turns to the Golden Rule, standing behind him.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Before all of you... My friends...
-[[ Orton looks down, thinking.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Before God..
-[[ Jeff Jarrett laughs and raises his guitar in the air to even more boos.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] ..And my father..
-[[ "Cowboy" Bob applauds quietly, nodding. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] I'm proud.. Proud of my boy, Randy!
[ Randy Orton ] I will kill... That legend.. Right here tonight..
-[[ He turns back to the fans and proclaims even louder. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I will kill that legend.. RIGHT NOW!
-[[ Orton smiles.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] After ridding Solid Gold Wrestling of Taz...
-[[ Boos.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] After seeing Bret "The Hitman" Hart left behind by the future of this business..
-[[ Louder boos.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] After seeing Chavo Guerrero Junior sent crying back across the border...
-[[ Jillian laughs, clapping and hopping up and down. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] I DID THAT! ME!
-[[ Orton laughs and continues.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And after killing the legend.. Of Val Venis... With my bare hands...
-[[ Orton looks up, staring into the heavens. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I thought of the one man who made all of this possible.. The man who has, from day one, been Randy Orton's guiding light in Solid Gold Wrestling...... The man I have fought for.. Bled for.. And would give my LIFE for! I thought...... Of you, Jeff.
-[[ Jarrett rests the guitar over his shoulder and looks genuinely touched by this.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And that's why.. Tonight.. One more legend dies.... In your name.
-[[ Everyone looks a bit confused.. It seems Orton hasn't let anyone in on what's going to happen.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] In the early days of Solid Gold Wrestling.. There were two weekly television shows... Warzone.. And Mayhem.. When financial difficulties took their hold all those years ago, those two television shows.. Were canceled.. And when Solid Gold Wrestling made it's return.. Those shows were left in the past.. Replaced by the show you all watch today... Known as SHOCK.....
-[[ Small pop for that for some reason.. Orton nods and continues. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] For five years, Shock has been the flagship program for Solid Gold Wrestling....
-[[ Orton stares evilly into the camera.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Shock.. Itself.. Has become.. An SGW......... LEGEND.....
-[[ Orton reaches into the jacket of his suit and removes a small remote control.. He holds it up. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Tonight..... Shock....... DIES!!
-[[ Boos.. Everyone in the Golden Rule begins laughing and applauding.. Jarrett steps up and takes Orton's microphone. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Randy.. The idea.. HA HA... It's gold.. Solid Gold!
-[[ Jarrett becomes a bit more serious.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] But if ya' get rid o'Shock... What've we got left?
-[[ Orton takes the microphone back, smiling. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] A new show... A new channel.... Jeff... I did it all...
-[[ Orton gives Jarrett a quick hug and begins yelling into the microphone again. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I DID IT ALL FOR YOU, MAN!!
[ Jillian Hall ] HE DID! HE DID IT FOR YOU, JEFF!
-[[ Jarrett's almost laughing out loud.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] HA HA.. I can't believe it!! A new channel!? FOR ME!?
[ Randy Orton ] No more will Solid Gold Wrestling be relegated to the confines of cable television...
-[[ He throws his arm out to the side with the remote control in it.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] USA is a thing of the past!
-[[ He clicks the button and the Shock logos all around the arena begin EXPLODING.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] We're making a new home... on NBC!!
-[[ In a glorious display of pyrotechnics, everything that says Shock or USA explodes and disappears and is replaced by another logo.. Another show name...... And of course, the NBC peacock logo.. Everyone in the Golden Rule looks around at the arena in awe as the fans boo loudly...... ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Solid Gold Wrestling.... And Randy Orton.. Brings to you, Jeff Jarrett.....
-[[ He strikes the "HEY!" pose.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Saturday night....... STROKE!
-[[ Jarrett takes the microphone again.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Randy... This is the best gift anybody coulda' gave me!
-[[ Jarrett looks around, completely awed that Orton was capable of putting this together without him knowing. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] When do we make the switch?
-[[ Orton takes the microphone again.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I know you won't believe me.... But how about.... NOW!
-[[ Orton turns to the camera.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] For once.. This is one wrestling organization.. Encouraging you.. To change the channel.
-[[ Orton points the remote at the camera.. ]]-
THE STROKE ->