Jake Hager is seen taking two bottles of champagne and shoving them deep into bowls of ice. Chris Jericho leans forward in front of a mirror, taking a long look at himself.

[ Chris Jericho ] Tonight’s the night, Jake. I’m going to beat the shit out of Roman Reigns and make a statement that cannot be ignored.

Hager nods.

[ Chris Jericho ] Solid Gold Wrestling has no idea what they’ve done letting the Painmaker in their doors. This place has been running like a well-oiled machine, nothing seemingly able to stop it!

Jericho slips his leather jacket on, the silver spikes glimmering in the lights.

[ Chris Jericho ] Until now.

Jericho turns to face Hager.

[ Chris Jericho ] Right, Jakey-boy?

Hager nods.

[ Joey Janela ] Hell yeah.

The camera pans to the left, revealing Joey Janela leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. His oversized sunglasses sending Jericho’s reflection right back at him.

[ Chris Jericho ] Who the hell are you?

Janela exhales a puff of smoke and ashes the cigarette.

[ Joey Janela ] My name is Joey Janela.. And I’m a baaaaadddddd boyyyyyyyyyy!

Janela takes one more drag off the cigarette before putting it out on the wall.

[ Joey Janela ] And Jericho, I want in.

Jericho cocks an eyebrow.

[ Joey Janela ] I look at you and I see dollar signs. I see a man who’s destined for the top of SGW.. And I want to hitch my wagon to The Painmaker and go straight to the top with you.

[ Chris Jericho ] Why the hell should I waste my time? What could you possibly offer me that Jake Hager doesn’t?

Hager crosses his arms, towering over Janela.

[ Joey Janela ] Don’t get it twisted, brother. Big Jake is a good hand to have around. He’s a certified bad ass, finishing dudes off in Bellator in seconds! If it goes longer than a few seconds, then he just knees them in the balls.

Janela looks Hager right in the eyes.

[ Joey Janela ] And I respect that.

Hager is not impressed.

[ Joey Janela ] But I offer a completely different skill set. You should consider it. I can be very valuable to you.

[ Chris Jericho ] This takes balls kid… and a helluva lot of stupidity.

Jericho snarls.

[ Chris Jericho ] To come into my locker room, to litter the air with your smoke, and then to tell me to my face that I NEED you..

Hager takes a step and snatches Janela by the throat. Hager begins dragging him to the door of the locker room before Jericho stops him.

[ Chris Jericho ] But I’m willing to listen.

Jericho puts his hand over the camera, giving us total darkness.

[ Chris Jericho ] Let’s talk.

Fade out.

Solid Gold Wrestling has presented its fair share of strange encounters since returning from its’ long hiatus – and even still, there is a definite air of morbid curiosity to this tag team contest. The bell rings and the PPG Paints Arena focus their attention on the three very large fellows in the ring and a singular, very scrawny man, still wearing his aviators atop his head, standing by his burly partner.

[ Scott Steiner ] TWO SEVEN FOOTERS VERSUS DAN FUCKIN’ BARRY?! TELL ME HOW THIS ONE GOES, INTERNETS!!

The Undead Zombie Wizard and the Big Red Devil’s Favorite Politician glare angrily across the ring at the motley pair of policemen before them, unconvinced that Team Tremendous even belong in the same ring with the wrestling legends. A moment passes with variant chants and applause as neither Team Tremendous nor the Brothers of Destruction move, flinch…or even blink, seemingly.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You know, the mystical, mysterious, mack-daddy the Godfather predicted that Team Tremendous would die here tonight in a piece of video footage on the SGW Website earlier this week, but it doesn’t seem that the Police are too concerned!

Nigel is correct; despite the Godfather’s rather logical assumption that the Undertaker and Kane would handily defeat SGW’s favorite arms of the law, neither Carr nor Barry shows an ounce of fear as they stare down the undead opposition.

[ Tony Schiavone ] You know something, Nigel and Scott, I think these four men are just waiting for one of the others to make a mistake!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] …err…I hope so, I guess!

Without warning, Kane strolls forward at a downright leisurely pace and goozles Dan Barry, sending his Aviators crashing to the mat! Referee Paul Turner lackadaisically begins counting to five for the illegal chokehold, owed to nothing more than his own half-hearted commitment to upholding the rules in tag team matches here in SGW. Bill Carr is none too carefree and instantly screams at the Big Red Machine.

[ Bill Carr ] HEY, ASSHOLE – THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE SUNGLASSES!

Carr socks Kane right in the mouth and the pair begin brawling frantically as Pittsburgh roars out in excitement. Freshly removed from Kane’s chokehold, the Good Officer looks back towards the Brothers’ corner for the Undertaker – but ‘Taker is much closer than he was a moment ago – in fact, he’s right in front of Barry, goozling him, as well!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY! WHERE DID THE UNDERTAKER COME FROM?!

[ Scott Steiner ] HE LITERALLY JUST WALKED RIGHT THE HELL UP TO HIM!

Barry squirms as best as he can but is unable to break the Deadman’s grip! Eventually, the Officer shrugs his shoulders and field-goal-punts away right at ‘Taker’s balls! Pittsburgh roars out again, very excited at the chutzpah the Good Officer shows in his radical attack; sadly though, apparently death removes a great deal of the pain from a testicular shot like this, and ‘Taker throws a dangerous jab at Barry, connecting with – nothing but turnbuckle!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] WOW! Narrowly avoided certain cranial trauma, there!

Shockingly, Barry ducks the Deadman’s right hand and runs, springing off the ropes and scoring with a rebound dropkick! The Undertaker is staggered! Barry decides to go back to the springboard well and vaults back towards the Deadman with another dropkick! ‘Taker still ain’t down! Barry wiggles his finger in a circle over his head, hyping up the crowd!

[ Scott Steiner ] NO FUCKIN’ WAY! HUH-UH! IT AIN’T WORKED TWICE IN A DAMN ROW, THREE AIN’T GONNA DO IT!

Barry runs again, and bounces off with a springboard dropkick, planting the Deadman right in the jaw and sending him rolling through the ropes and to the floor!

As Barry and the Undertaker have been brawling, Kane and Carr have had a similar situation unfolding on their half of the squared circle. Kane looks for a big uppercut, but Carr sidesteps it and waffles the Mayor of Knoxville with a huge spinning wheel kick! Pittsburgh pops and the two policemen look at one another – it’s time for their best shot!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This could be it, fellas!

Bill Carr somehow muscles the Big Red Machine up onto his shoulders for a powerbomb, backing into the corner and allowing Barry to hook Kane’s head – and flip backwards with the Shirinui!

[ Tony Schiavone ] BOOM SHAKALAKA!

BOOK ‘EM DANNO! Kane crashes into center ring violently and Carr hooks the leg, deep in a pinfall, Turner counting in perfect cadence – ONE! TWO! THREE!

As Turner’s hand counts three and the bell rings out across the arena, Carr releases Kane’s leg and pumps his fists victoriously – what a huge victory for Team Tremendous! The Magnum PI theme plays out across the PPG Paints Arena and Pittsburgh are popping for the policemen.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Never in all my days did I think I’d see Bill Carr pin Kane, but here we are! These two, best buddy, have truly been one of the Cinderella stories of Solid Gold Wrestling’s revival – and with each victory, it seems that the fans grow more and more fond of Team Tremendous!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Quite right, Tony! It seems like their confidence is growing, too; They’ve beaten Samoans, they’ve beaten dancers, they’ve beaten the Golden Lovers and hell – they just beat the bloody Undertaker and Kane!

The Undertaker pulls his brother out of the ring by his boot and the pair solemnly stroll to the locker room, strangely undeterred from the loss. Inside the ring, Dan Barry has a microphone and, apparently, something to say, but wraps up his partner in a big hug before he speaks. The pair talk to themselves a moment and Barry raises the microphone to speak.

[ Dan Barry ] You know wha—

Before Barry can even finish his thought, Bill Carr quickly grabs the microphone from his partner, holding it way too close to his mouth, and speaks with passion in his voice.

[ Bill Carr ] D’JA SEE THAT?! HAH?! THATISWHATTEAMTREMENDOUSISALLABOUT,DADDY! THATRIGHTTHEREISAPERFECTEXAM—huh?

Barry taps Carr on the shoulder and he lowers his microphone, speaking privately to his partner. Carr nods his head, eyes closed, clearly understanding that he was holding the mic too close to his mouth. Crack lip readers can see Barry asking Carr for the microphone back so he could finish what he was going to say; Carr does not notice.

[ Bill Carr ] ASIWASSAYING ITHINKIT’SCLEAR THAT TEAM TREMENDOUS IS ONTHE VERGEOFCRACK INTHISCASEWIDEOPEN! SO! ALLOW METOLETYOUINONTHENEXT PARTOFOURBIGOPERATION!

As Carr yells into the mic, Barry carefully, slowly pulls his elbow downward, lowering his partner’s volume to a bearable level.

[ Bill Carr ] I’MTHINKINGTHATPERHAPSIT’sTimeWeTookThisParty all the way to the top of the food chain in the tag team division! You hear me, Pittsburgh?!

Pittsburgh certainly does hear him – much more tolerably, now, in fact. They cheer affirmatively as Carr fumbles with his holster and pulls out his finger gun!

[ Bill Carr ] For the uninitiated – THIS! – is what I mean…

Carr points his finger gun up into the high reaches of the arena – right at the WrestleBrawl 3 sign! He turns his head to his partner and grins; Barry returns the smile and points his own finger gun up at the sign, as well!

[ Bill Carr ] That’s right! Team Tremendous is drawing the line in the sand – we want a shot at the Solid Gold Wrestling World Tag Team Championships at WrestleBrawl!

Pittsburgh roars excitedly and Carr nods, grinning.

[ Bill Carr ] …anything to add, partner?

He hands the mic back to Barry, who is grinning sheepishly himself.

[ Dan Barry ] I think you just about handled it, good buddy! Ten four!

Barry drops the mic and the two policemen embrace again and we fade to the back.

We’re quickly brought to a locker room, dressed up as the set of a late-night talk show – it’s the return of Good Times, Great Memories! Colt Cabana is wearing a red t-shirt and jeans with a navy blazer over, showing off his million-dollar smile as he waves to the camera. His co-host, Jason Jordan, is wearing an orange polo shirt tucked into khaki shorts and is sullenly facing the ground.

[ Colt Cabana ] Hello everyone and welcome back to Good Times, Great Memories! I, of course, am your host – COLT Cabana! With me, as always, is my fabulous co-host, Jason Jordan!

Cabana gestures to Jordan, who does not notice, as Cabana is not located on the ground. Undeterred, Colt rolls along.

[ Colt Cabana ] We’ve got a packed show for you all tonight, let me tell ya! Y’know, I don’t want to dilly dally much, here, Jase, let’s make like a hat and go on ahead to bring out our first guests – they are one of the newest tag teams on the Solid Gold Wrestling roster and my producers tell me that they are both very interesting gentlemen, let’s give a warm welcome to…Horrifichausen!

A small, frisky diddy plays from a boombox on Colt’s desk and from the left approaches Danhausen, grinning wildly and shaking Cabana’s hand within seconds. Colt laughs as Vincent Marseglia approaches, and his face quickly shifts to his slight smile when he shakes “the Horror King’s” hand. Danhausen is concerned with Jason and is doing his best to get his attention, but Jordan won’t budge.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] Ah-hem.

Danhausen instantly snaps over to his chosen chair beside Marseglia at the slightest sound of his voice and the two look towards Cabana pleasantly as Colt sits to join them.

[ Colt Cabana ] Well, you’re certainly a…unique pair’a guys, aren’t you?

Marseglia closes his eyes, nodding slightly, before opening them to answer Cabana.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] Ah, Colt. Thank you for having us. To answer your very candid query, I…I’ve never much seen the benefit of blending into the crowd. I’ve never wanted to be…the status quo. I’ve always known myself to be more, so why bother looking like the lessers of the world?

Colt blinks. There’s an awkward silence.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] …what happened to him?

Marseglia points a finger at Jason and Danhausen looks over, as well, still grinning massively. Colt pulls the neck of his shirt with a single finger and winces.

[ Colt Cabana ] He’s uh…he’s got some…family issues…going on, fellas, nothing to concern yourselves with, thou—

[ Vinny Marseglia ] I suppose you’re in some deep grief, young man?

Jason, still looking down at his Sperry-clad feet, nods. Marseglia smirks and Colt shifts in his chair.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] I can assure you both, there’s no story to be told about the union of Danhausen and myself. There is no story to be told of the decimation which will befall the sordid souls who oppose us tonight. I personally, am far more interested in the feelings of this forlorn young gentleman.

Danhausen nods, still grinning.

[ Danhausen ] Oh, yes! Please don’t be sadhausen, friend! Your new friends are here! We are very nice! Very nice! Very evil!

Marseglia looks slightly over his shoulder to Danhausen and snarls silently as Jason looks up, a bemused smile forcing its way onto his lips.

[ Jason Jordan ] You’re silly. I like your facepaint…

Marseglia smiles at Jason.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] This is Danhausen, Jason. He’s a cheerful little demon. Do you know what he likes?

[ Colt Cabana ] <to himself> Getting this show back on the rails?

[ Jason Jordan ] No, what?

Danhausen’s eyes grow wide as Marseglia leans towards Jason.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] …teeth.

Jason’s eyes narrow slightly and Cabana’s grow wider, almost in unison. Danhausen grows eerily still as Marseglia speaks.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] …in fact, he loves them. I find myself able to procure some of them from time to time and alas, a partnership is born from some strange hybrid of opportunity and necessity and voíla. Horrifichausen is born. I bet you have a wonderful smile, Jason…

Jason swallows and nods and Cabana leans in, speaking again.

[ Colt Cabana ] Compelling stuff, Vinny. Quite interesting, and – oh! What?! What’s that?? I think I hear the ring bell!

Danhausen’s head snaps to his right, listening intently for said noise. Marseglia turns his attention from Jason for the first time since he noticed him and looks towards Cabana.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] I didn’t hear anything.

[ Colt Cabana ] Whelp, there it goes again! You wouldn’t want to be late for your first match in Solid Gold Wrestling, now, would you? What are you, Eli Drake or something? Go on, guys, we’ll all catch up later!

Danhausen quickly rises and begins walking toward the door as Marseglia narrows his eyes toward Cabana before looking again to Jason, who timidly meets his gaze.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] I know your heart is heavy, Jason…your mind is weighed down with the agony of the unknown. There are ways to counter this, though…there are…options. Listen to your heart, heavy as it may be – it knows the truth.

A small smile forms on Jason’s lips again.

[ Vinny Marseglia ] …but if it doesn’t…perhaps I can be of some assistance to you. A…razor-sharp mind…to assist in ‘carving away’ some of the doubt, so to say.

Jason’s eyes grow wider as Marseglia looks back to Cabana and walks away. The scene is tense for a moment as Cabana sits back down.

[ Colt Cabana ] …well, that was weird!

Jason doesn’t say anything and Colt breathes out deeply before looking at the camera with an uneasy smile.

[ Colt Cabana ] Fans, it’s not hard to see that Jase isn’t doing so hot. I mean, what, with professional wrestling training, not knowing which rich, celebrated, rich athlete is your daddy and all – he’s got a lot to deal with!

Jason, clearly sulking, nods to agree.

[ Colt Cabana ] So being the best best buddy and best trainer in the world that I am, I got us a special set of next guests – two guys with lots of experience competing against your dad, Jase!

Jordan’s eyes light up as he raises his head towards the door, not knowing who to expect.

[ Colt Cabana ] One is a champion who has led teams into infamy around the world! Another is a man who spends lots of time in the courts!

Exicted to potentially see or even discuss Michael, Jason Jordan sits up straighter in his chair as Colt carries on.

[ Colt Cabana ] Introducing – the Undertaker and Kane!

The same polyphonic diddy as before plays over the boombox as the lights begin to flicker in the locker room and eventually go out to black! The PPG Paints Arena roar out excitedly as they come back on, revealing none other than the Undertaker and Kane in the guest chairs of Good Times, Great Memories! Still sore from their loss earlier in the previous contest, it is eerie to think that they are both so calm and also, so…’rested’ despite the raucous match they were just involved in. Undertaker is wearing a long, spiked and studded leather robe with his hair pulled back in an ornate braid while Kane is wearing a lovely gray suit and his red mask.

The entire room is awkwardly silent for a moment as the Pittsburgh fans chant ‘Holy Shit’ over and over, probably bemused with the ludicrous nature of what is occurring. Eventually, Cabana breaks the silence.

[ Colt Cabana ] …y’know, even knowing full well that I INVITED you both here, I’m kind of shocked to see you both sitting there.

The Undertaker looks flatly towards Cabana, with no emotion in his eyes, before turning his gaze to Jordan, who shivers when the Deadman’s stare reaches him. Kane replies politely.

[ Kane ] Hello, Colt, Jason, what a pleasure it is for us to be here tonight.

Colt’s face instantly scrunches up in confusion as Kane smiles amicably. Jason hasn’t moved a muscle since realizing the Undertaker was staring at him.

[ Kane ] So, my friend, what is our topic of discussion today? Free market approaches? Crime and punishment? Civil liberties? Education? Foreign policies?

Cabana shakes his head slightly, grinning, and rubs his eyes with his fists, in disbelief about what is happening before his very eyes. The Undertaker points a finger in Jason’s direction and speaks next.

[ The Undertaker ] Your soul is weighed down with uncertainty…and austerity. Your past is shrouded in mystery…the loins from which your body was formed…are loins cloaked in darkness…

[ Colt Cabana ] Wow, I didn’t expect you to have an opinion on the matter, ‘Taker, but based on what you just said, you must believe that Michael Jordan is Jason’s father!

The Deadman snaps his head towards Cabana, grumpily and mysteriously.

[ The Undertaker ] …I have no opinions on things which do not effect my quest for domination. The identity of this being’s father matters none towards my life…nor his own.

Jason finally switches his expression of fear to one of confusion.

[ Jason Jordan ] W-wh-what do you mean?

Kane nods understandingly and replies.

[ Kane ] Well, Jason, I’m far from a family therapist or a geneticist, but I think what my brother is trying to say in his own very darkly estute way, is that you control your own destiny! Regardless if Kurt or Michael is your father, your primary pursuit should be towards your goal of competing in the Solid Gold Wrestling ranks!

Colt throws an open hand dangerously close to the Undertaker but nonverbally emphasizing what the Mayor of Knoxville said.

[ Colt Cabana ] That’s what I’ve been sayin’! If either of these guys is your dad, they’ll support you no matter what! They’ll be on your side, by your side, wearing your shirts and cheerin’ you on the whole way.

Jason nods, kind of resigning to the thought, but still clearly bothered by the uncertainty of the situation.

[ The Undertaker ] The boy is no more than eight years old and still his eyes are clouded with such gloom…it’s impressive that a being so young could possess a grip so strong on the blackness…

Colt shifts around uncomfortably again.

[ ??? ] Hey, what the hell did you say, bucko?

The PPG Paints Arena pops huge as Kurt Angle steps onto the scene from over Jason’s shoulder, an incredulous look on his face. Kane rises to shake Kurt’s hand politely, but Angle doesn’t even notice the outstretched goozling-hand. Kane eventually re-takes his seat sullenly.

[ Kurt Angle ] You’ve gotta be FREAKIN’ kidding me. First, there’s still some backsandballs playing loser texting my son like some pedophile freakshow, now the freakin’ UNDERTAKER is talkin’ about dark loins to him! Does this little boy have a sign around his neck that says “I need an adverse childhood experience?!”

[ Colt Cabana ] Okay, first of all, Jason’s like thirty-five years old, guys…

Nobody listens to Colt and Angle rolls right along.

[ Kurt Angle ] MY SON, Colt, is here to be trained to wrestle – not to be your co-host, not to be murdered by some Horror King freak, and not to be spoken to about Michael freakin’ Jordan’s loins by the gall-darned Undertaker!

[ The Undertaker ] I will not hesitate to wipe your existence from reality and eviscerate all traces of your life which remain in this realm if you breathe negatively in reference to myself again, Angle.

[ Kurt Angle ] Oh yeah?! Well how’s this for breathing negatively in reference, bub – your creepy flasher coat smells like donkey dick and motor oil!

Kane and Cabana quickly stand up to quell the obvious storm in the room.

[ Kane ] Brother, I think we should be going –

[ Colt Cabana ] Gentlemen, that looks like all the time we have here –

[ The Undertaker ] YOUR OFFSPRING’S CONFUSION IS A REFLECTION OF THE SCARRING YOUR PARENTING HAS WROUGHT!

[ Kurt Angle ] YOU LOST TO TEAM FREAKIN’ TREMENDOUS, YOU SUNNAVABITCH!

As Angle and Undertaker are doing their best to go nose-to-nose, or worse, to blows, Kane quickly speaks again.

[ Kane ] Thanks again for having us, Colt, we’ll see you soon!

The lights fall to black again, but a punch is thrown and lands! As the lights come back, we see that Angle threw the blow – and it connected with Jason Jordan! Kurt’s face is immediately washed over in regret and he reaches over to touch his son, but Colt jumps between them, over the desk to stop him! Colt is shocked, but concerned for Jason, whose cheek is already bruising.

[ Jason Jordan ] Kurt…how could you?!

[ Kurt Angle ] Son, I…I was trying to punch the Undertaker! He isn’t gonna talk about my boy like tha—

[ Jason Jordan ] WHAT IF I’M NOT YOUR BOY!?

The entire room is silent. The arena, too. Pittsburgh, as a whole, is waiting for a pin to drop as tears well up in Kurt Angle’s eyes.

[ Kurt Angle ] W-what are you saying, son?

[ Jason Jordan ] I’m saying Michael’s never PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE! I’m saying maybe I should have went with him to mourn Kobe this weekend instead of doing this freakin’ wrestling crap! All it’s ever brought me is sadness and soreness!

Cabana sort of shrugs as Kurt begins crying and hangs his head, finally looking up and reaching out his hand again.

[ Kurt Angle ] Son…please? Please just let me explain…

[ Jason Jordan ] NO! NO MORE! I’m done hearing YOUR version of the story. I’m leaving.

Jason turns and storms out of the room as Kurt weeps. Colt puts his hand on his shoulder and when their eyes meet, Kurt nods towards the door and Cabana follows Jason, only stopping briefly at the doorway.

[ Colt Cabana ] …Kurt, I know there’s a lot going on right now…I know your life is in a really rough place…

Kurt sniffles loudly and shakes his head in disbelief.

[ Colt Cabana ] …but don’t forget you still owe me for February tuition…

Kurt looks up, eyes puffy and tears staining his shirt and Cabana takes the hint.

[ Colt Cabana ] We’ll discuss it. I’ll have him call you!

Cabana turns and runs, only barely audibly calling for Jason, leaving Kurt sitting on the desk alone, crying as we fade away to the ring.

All eight men rush into the center of the ring and begin throwing punches, connecting with anything that moves! Trent and Vinny Marseglia collide in a mess of hap-hazard grappling and roll to the floor right off the bat! Blue Meanie cocks a fist and throws it towards one opponent in a lovely black and white striped shirt – but Rick Knox spins around at the last second and stops him, pointing angrily at his shirt!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That’s a great way to get disqualified, Meanie!

Meanie turns sheepishly on his heels, right into a double superkick from the Hybrid 2! Jack Evans calls Meanie a “fat blueberry bastard” as he falls through the ropes and to the floor – but Al Snow is already in their faces, coconut crushing the H2’s heads together in an aggressive meeting of the minds! Snow gives Evans a clothesline over the top rope to the apron, but when he turns to attack Angélico, Danhausen is on the loose and running dropkicks Snow clear over the top rope and to the floor!

[ Scott Steiner ] Look at this fuckin’ guy!

Angélico runs over to attack the bizarre Danhausen, but he foolishly leaves his mouth open, screaming as he runs up, double axe handle prepped to strike – but Danhausen reaches up and grabs the South African by the mouth!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh no! Angélico’s teeth – Danhausen loves the teeth! He thinks…

There is a pause as Schiavone checks his notes.

[ Tony Schiavone ] …that teeth are magical!

Another awkward pause.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Only the best and brightest in the professional wrestling world here in Solid Gold Wrestling, fans!

Danhausen is grinning his wicked, lovely grin, and begins prying at one of Angélico’s pearly whites with his bare hands! Pittsburgh is roaring with excitement as the Wicked One’s eyes light up with energy – he’s found his favorite tooth! His own pearly whites are practically glowing in the bright ring lights as Angélico kicks his feet, trying to stop the prying – and does! Rolling away and quickly to his feet, Angélico springs ahead, aiming for Danhausen – but Danhausen is on his game and back up, ducking a clothesline and clobbering the South African with a German Suplex!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] He’s a strange bird, but that German Suplex was executed with pristine precision, Scott!

[ Scott Steiner ] Damn right! Helluva suplex!

Kipping up, facepainted visage still beaming ear to ear and now fully endeared to even the most jaded fans in the Keystone State, Danhausen is on his feet and comes eye to eye with Chuck Taylor, who has hidden in the corner during the Bizarre One’s ascension during the contest. Chuckie T very slowly starts to step through the ropes to safety, but as he bends, Danhausen calmly puts his hand on the Kentucky Gentleman’s shoulder as Pittsburgh roars. Taylor freezes and very slowly turns his face to meet Danhausen’s grin.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] RUN, CHUCK! RUN!

Taylor girly-screams in fear and squirms, unable to break the Gaunt Grappler’s grip. Danhausen pulls Taylor, who is swinging his fists wildly and connecting with nothing, into the ring, hugging him tightly before releasing him and smiling broadly. Taylor quickly reaches into his tights and holds up…A GRENADE!

…an invisible one, of course.

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH NO!

Fortunately, a camera is close enough to the action so that our audience at home is privy to the discussion in center-ring.

[ Chuck Taylor ] WHOA! WHOA! Back up, buster! I’ve got a grenade – AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!

Danhausen grins wildly again and holds up a single finger helpfully.

[ Danhausen ] Yes, oh yes! I am aware of your grenadehausens, Chuckie! I might helpfully inform you that Taylorhausen has the grenadehausen’s pin pulled already!

A quizzical look pours onto Taylor’s face and he looks at the invisible explosive in his hand while Danhausen quickly seeks refuge in the corner, squatting and plugging his ears.

[ Chuck Taylor ] OH SHIIII—

AND IT ‘EXPLODES!’ Pittsburgh pops massively as Taylor flies backwards, bumping onto his back and rolling up, bumping again, scrambling to his feet and flying over the top rope! WHAT AN IMPACT!

[ Scott Steiner ] I hate Chuck Taylor, dammit.

Danhausen opens one eye slowly before turning back around into the ring, grinning widely as ever, but walks right into a slap from Jack Evans! The Prince of Parkland begins trash talking immediately as Danhausen holds his sore face – quickly handspringing off the ropes and coming to a stop as the Bizarre One stands up, toothily smiling right at Evans! Jack’s eyes are larger than saucers as he throws another slap, but the Gaunt Grappler ducks and quickly scoops up Evans, driving his head into the mat with a bearhug DDT!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Sweet Dickens, what a shot! Jack Evans is out of this world – and Danhausen is on fire!

As Evans rolls to the floor, Danhausen grins wickedly as the PPG Paints arena chant “WE LOVE YOU!” over and over. His eyes widen and his beaming smile grows impossibly broader as he spreads his arms open. The response only grows louder as Orange Cassidy slides lazily into the ring and gets right behind Danhausen! The PPG Paints Arena may as well be the Skydome, brother, because this is the Irresistable Force meeting the Immovable Object if ever there was such an interaction!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Good God, listen to this reaction!

[ Scott Steiner ] TAKE ME NOW, JESUS!

It’s Cassidy, throwing the first shot, an extremely ineffective and light haymaker, connecting feebly with the Bizarre One’s cheek! Danhausen grits his teeth and fires his own punch, at normal speed, and connects with Cassidy – right in the nose!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] *laughing* Danhausen connects in response!

Cassidy, frozen in place for a moment, falls straight backwards and crashes into the mat hilariously before rolling to the ground and giving Danhausen the entire ring yet again.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] And look at this, gents – Danhausen has made this ring his domain to conquer yet again!

From behind Danhausen, the Blue Meanie very slowly, very carefully enters the ring with extreme caution in every move he makes. Though he outweighs the bizarre Danhausen by about ten stone, Meanie is ridiculously trepidatious with each step, finally gathering up the courage to spin Danhausen around and face the Blue Death before him!

But Meanie freezes! Danhausen’s enormous grin has stunned him silent again and Meanie’s eyes grow wide as he slowly begins backing up in terror! Danhausen’s massive smile is as large as the Blue Guy’s gut, and yet – he’s retreating! The entire scene is a confusing mess until the camera zooms out to show Vincent Marseglia approaching from behind Danhausen with his huge axe in tow! Meanie dives through the ropes as the Horror King gives chase!

[ Tony Schiavone ] There are far too many madmen with axes running around SGW shows!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You know, I agree, Ton—oh! Look at this!

Back inside the ring, Al Snow has quickly hooked Danhausen and dropped him head-first to the canvas with a staggering Snow Plow! Pittsburgh roars out in excitement – but in comes Trent! He hooks Snow from behind with a waistlock and the two grapple, struggling for position – until Trent rolls through with a folded school boy pin – ONE! TWO! THREE!

As the bell rings, Trent stands up, victorious! Snow slaps the mat, frustrated, as Pittsburgh cheer for the winning team – the Best Friends – although only one of their triumvirate are conscious to enjoy the triumph.

[ Scott Steiner ] Well, thank God it’s over. You could have just told me that shit was goin’ down and I’d have lied and said I had to take a dump or somethin’, Schiavone!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It was a big victory for Trent and all of the Best Friends! Trent pinned Al Snow, a former two time SGW Tag Team Champion!

Snow is frustrated in center ring, completely oblivious to the fact that his partner is being chased around the arena by an axe-wielding psychopath as Trent exits the ring and assists Cassidy and Taylor to their feet, starting their path up the ramp.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The tag team division in SGW is packed with strange customers…and also, very dangerous tandems! You never know who will make their mark – and earn the next shot at the championships!

The Best Friends collapse at the top of the ramp, exhausted from the ridiculous contest they’ve just won as we fade to the back.

The cameras quickly transition backstage where we see Cathy Kelley standing by with Austin Theory and Zack Sabre, Jr. Both men are obviously irritated and waste no time letting their feelings be known.

[ Zack Sabre Jr. ] This is bollocks, Cathy! You hear me? Fuckin’ bollocks.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Zack Sabre, Austin Theory, you had your decision tonight overturned by not adhering to the referee’s count after the match.

Theory cuts her off with a menacing glare.

[ Austin Theory ] Ya’ know, Cathy, I thought this was America.

[ Cathy Kelley ] It i-

[ Austin Theory ] And I thought in America it was all about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

[ Zack Sabre Jr. ] I don’t know if that’s right or not but continue.

[ Austin Theory ] And what made myself and Zack Sabre happy was kicking Elias and Jimmy Jacobs’ asses out there.. But what happened? We were punished!

ZSJ quickly adds on with a tone of disbelief.

[ Zack Sabre Jr. ] We were punished for kickin’ TOO much ass!

[ Austin Theory ] I am the future of this business. Look at me. I’m the total package and I was victorious in my debut and now, forever, it’s going down in the record books as a loss because SGW officiating is trash.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Well Austin, I do have to ask.. What are you feeling about accidentally knocking Lacey off the ring apron?

Theory smirks and nudges ZSJ with his elbow.

[ Austin Theory ] Hard hitting question. Am I remorseful?

He scoffs.

[ Austin Theory ] Hell no. Lacey needs to learn her place and realize that it is NOT being near a wrestling ring.. Look at Mandy. She knows her role and she doesn’t bother a thing. Lacey got lucky. If I was giving maximum effort out there, me bumping her off the apron would’ve sent her flying into the third row!

[ Zack Sabre Jr. ] Would’ve been the closest those virgins got to touchin’ a woman, honestly.

Jimmy Jacobs dives from off-camera and lands on Austin Theory’s back, wrapping his forearm around Theory’s neck for a chokehold! Zack Sabre, Jr. waves it off and walks off, knowing this isn’t his battle to fight.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] I’LL KILL YOU!

Theory tries shaking Jacobs off of his shoulders but finally runs backwards, crushing Jimmy against a nearby wall and then tossing him over his shoulder, sending Jacobs hard to the ground. Theory jumps on top of Jimmy, pinning his shoulders against the ground with his knees and stares down at him with a look of agitation.

[ Austin Theory ] Trust me. If I wanted to, I could've done a whole helluva lot worse to your little girlfriend than I did out there.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] You hurt her!

Theory tries to hold the writing Jacobs down but Jimmy manages to get a hand into his wrestling boot and produce a RAILROAD SPIKE which he plunges into Austin Theory's eye! The fans groan in discomfort at Theory pushes the heel of his palm into his bleeding eye and falls to the side, crying out in pain! Jimmy scurries backward on his ass and looks down at the spike with gritted teeth. Medics rush the scene and tend to Austin Theory as Cathy Kelley look on in horror at what's become of her interview.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Jimmy... oh my god... what have you done?

Still gripping the spike, a sinister smile creeps across his face.

The match kicks off at a fairly frantic pace which suits Roman Reigns down to the ground as he unloads a series of huge right hands, knocking Jericho down to the mat each time he lands. Jericho stumbles into the corner,holding onto the ropes for support as Reigns charges over... CLOTHESLINE! The head of Jericho snaps back with the impact, this time he drops to the mat and stays there for a while holding his head in agony.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Roman Reigns on fire here, boys!

Reigns grabs Jericho by the hair, but Jericho manages to throw a few elbows to the gut, working his way back up to his feet. He bounces off the ropes and connects with a huge forearm smash directly to the face of Roman Reigns, who slams hard to the mat. Jake Hager and Joey Janela applaud their man from ringside.

[ Tony Schiavone ] You've got to wonder what chance Roman Reigns has with these two watching the back of Jericho!

[ Scott Steiner ] Janela just round here hangin' on like a little BITCH! Ridin' the coatails of Jericho! PUSSY!

The battle in the ring continues and it has to be said, the older and wiser Chris Jericho has had the upper hand. He's slowed the pace down totally, focusing on the right leg of Roman Reigns to the point where Roman is now visibly limping from this sustained attack.Reigns has his back turned to Jericho now, trying to get away... ONE HANDED BULLDOG! Jericho drives the face of Reigns to the mat, before heading up to the top rope!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Jericho putting it all on the line, a little HIGH RISK!

"GET UP YOU SON'OVA BITCH!" is the cry from Jericho as he waits perched on the top rope, motioning with his right arm for Reigns to get to his feet. Eventually, Reigns rises... MISSILE DROPKICK! The impact knocks Reigns under the rope and to the outside!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Chris Jericho showing that age is just a number here tonight!

[ Scott Steiner ] He's like a FINE FUCKIN' WINE!

Unfortunately for Reigns, he's rolled in front of Jake Hager. Jericho notcies the opportunity and grabs the attention of the referee, as Hager puts the boots into Reigns and some clubbing arms around the back of the head. Hager goes to whip Reigns into the ringpost, but it's reversed... HAGER HITS HIS HEAD OFF THE RINGTPOST! He falls down to the floor clutching his forehead. Reigns turns around... CLOTHESLINE FROM JOEY JANELA! Janela trying to prove him as an asset to Jericho, pulling Reigns back up to his feet but Reigns battles his way out... SUPERMAN PUNCH TO JOEY JANELA!!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What heart from Roman Reigns!

Reigns manages to slip back into the ring, but Jericho is waiting... CODEBREAKER! He hooks the leg... ONE!! TWO!!! TH-KICKOUT!!! The face of Jericho is a picture. "THAT WAS THREE, IDIOT!" he screams at the referee, who holds his fingers up high and proclaims it was only a two count! Jericho sits for a moment, head in his hands and breathing heavily! He grabs the legs of Roman Reigns, he's going for the Liontamer... He's nearly got him turned... ROMAN FLIPS JERICHO! The power of Reigns was too much! Jericho falls to the mat as Reigns gets up to his feet, he's feeling it... He slams his fist onto the mat and crouches, waiting for Jericho to turn!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Hager trying to warn Jericho what's waiting but I don't think he hears him!

Jericho turns around... SUPERMAN PUNCH! NOOOO!!! Jericho dropped and pulled the rope down, sending Roman Reigns over the top rope and landed awkwardly on the floor below!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Game changa'!!

Once more, Jericho calls the referee over but this time he holds his knee, complaining that he's in pain. This allows Hager and Janela to both begin an assault on Reigns, both men stamping on him over and over. Hager motions for Janela to get back a little, they are trying to set something up here! Janela moves a few steps away, but Reigns hits an uppercut on Hager! SPEAK TO JOEY JANELA!!! Joey Janela might actually be lrgit broken in half after that! Reigns stands over him, staring down butr he's ignoring Hager.... BIG BOOT TO THE FACE! He wastes no time... GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB ON THE OUTSIDE FLOOR!! Jesus Christ! Reigns lands high on his head, before Hager throws Reigns under the bottom rope.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Not like this! Someone needs to do something!

Jericho quickly stops complaining and gets himself ready as he waits for Roman Reigns to rise. Roman doesn't even know where the hell he is after that powerbomb and he staggers up to his feet and turns.... JUDAS.... EFFECT!! It's over! ONE!!!! TWO!!!! THREEEEE!!! The bell sounds, the boos reign down and Jericho looks absolutely delighted!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Jericho absolutely STOLE that!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Say what ya' want, Tony... He's smart!

Hager and Janela get into the ring and all three of them celebrate for a moment, but Reigns eventually begins to stir after a few moments. Jericho senses it and slowly, turns his head and as Reigns charges... ANOTHER SPEAR TO JOEY JANELA!! Jericho and Hager quickly slide out of the ring, heading up the ramp as Joey Janela is absolutely finished!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well, Janela wanted to roll with Jericho and Hager... This is what happens!

Reigns looks pissed in the ring, pointing and shouting up to Jericho who disappears with a smile to the back with Hager by his side.

[ EMT ] Hana, this is not the time or--

[ Hana Kimura ] < STUPID UGLY BITCH! HOW DARE YOU!? DON'T YOU KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN!? >

[ Hana Kimura ] < You are nothing but a joke! You do not deserve to hold a victory over me! >

[ Hana Kimura ] < Let this be a lesson to all of you bitches! If you think you are smart and try to screw me over like this idiot girl, I will collect your head! OKAY!? OKAY! >

Aubrey Edwards holds the two championship titles in the air, displaying them to all four sides of the ring to an applause. El Hijo del Ice Cream and Cody start off as the bell sounds. The fans are firmly behind The Brotherhood as Cody meets El Hijo in the center of the ring.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Now THIS is a match I can safely say that I neva’ thought I’d eva’ see in my entire life!

[ Scott Steiner ] Cody Rhodes should no-sell this entire thing and walk out of this arena before he embarrasses himself!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Embarrass himself by losing to this team?

[ Scott Steiner ] WHAT?! NO! Embarrass himself by even givin’ this bullshit the time of day! Look at these two! They deserve the electric chair for even puttin’ on those stupid masks and callin’ themselves atheltes!

Cody kicks Ice Cream in the gut and applies a headlock and wrenches down on it. It’s almost too easy for the youngest Rhodes as he takes down Ice Cream and gets a two count from the headlock takeover. Cody springs up and lets his opponent back up. Ice Cream Jr. tags in and charges at Cody, snap powerslam! DiBiase notices his team is in trouble and slides a chair in the ring and then jumps to the apron and begins arguing with Aubrey Edwards. El Hijo del Ice Cream comes in and grabs the chair and rears back, but Dustin comes in and yanks the chair away! Aubrey notices what’s going on and reprimands Dustin for being in the ring and forces him out, giving the Ice Creams a chance to double team Cody!

[ Tony Schiavone ] DiBiase’s plan to distract has seeming worked out! The tide has shifted in the match. This is easily the longest Los Ice Creams have gone in a match without melting or exploding in some manner!

[ Scott Steiner ] That’s what I’m sayin’! The Rhodes needs to walk away and save themselves from this trash!

The double team attack from Los Ice Creams has Cody finding himself in their corner, with each member of the team making quick tags in, doing as much damage to Cody as they can before tagging back out. With Cody still in the corner, El Hijo hits a big splash and Ice Cream Jr. comes in and gets whipped into the corner, splashing Cody as well! Cody staggers out of the corner and they hit Cody from the back and the front, crushing him between them!

[ Tony Schiavone ] IT’S AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH!

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT WAS STUPID!

Dustin begins slapping on the turnbuckle pad, getting the fans to join in clapping in unison, doing everything he can to will Cody back to his feet to tag him in. Cody gets close and constantly gets pulled back on the other side of the ring and pays the price. After a tag, Ice Cream Jr. comes in and body slams Cody to the mat and goes to the middle rope. He dives off but Cody gets his boot up, hitting Ice Cream Jr. in the face, freezing him on impact in a standing position!

[ Tony Schiavone ] I really want to comment here.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Go for it, Tony!

[ Scott Steiner ] It’d better not suck like the last one!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It’s a brain freeze!

[ Scott Steiner ] I hope I develop CTE within the next five minutes and murder us both, Schiavone! It’d be your honor to leave this world, takin’ your final breath after your windpipe was closed off by one of the largest arms in the world, forever makin’ Big Poppa Pump not only a lady killer, but a legitimate killer as well! Holler if you hear me!

Cody gets to his feet and pushes Ice Cream Jr. down without much effort. Dustin is reaching out as far as he can for the tag as Cody dizzily staggers his way towards his corner. He gets within arm’s reach and goes to slap Dustin’s hand…

...But Dustin steps off the apron.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What in the world?

Cody has a look of confusion on his face as Brandi begins scolding Dustin on the floor, screaming “WHAT THE HELL, DUSTIN?!” at the top of her lungs. Dustin says nothing as Brandi grabs him by the arm to try to get him back in the ring, simply brushing her off and turning around to begin walking up the ramp, not giving his brother or sister-in-law a second thought.

Cody turns around and gets kicked in the gut and DDT’d! Ice Cream Jr. makes the tag and grabs Cody as El Hijo del Ice Cream charges.. El Asesino! Both members of Los Ice Cream climb on top as Aubrey counts - one… two.. three!

[ Tony Schiavone ] We have NEW SGW World Tag Team Champions and it’s the unlikeliest of teams! Ted DiBiase’s bribe has paid back tremendous dividends thanks to Dustin Rhodes!

[ Scott Steiner ] This is a dark fuckin’ day for SGDubya’!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Agreed, Scott. It’s a terrible shame to see a brother turn on his own brother!

[ Scott Steiner ] Screw that! I’d drop Rick in a heartbeat if he crossed me! This is a dark fuckin’ day ‘cause those two pieces of shit hold SGDubya gold!

Brandi slides into the ring and checks on Cody as DiBiase comes in from the other side and hands his clients their championships. Cody gets to a seated position in the corner, staring blankly ahead, trying to wrap his head around what just happened as the celebration of Los Ice Creams continues in the ring.

We have new SGW World Tag Team Champions, but the big story is WHY did Dustin Rhodes abandon the match.. And most importantly.. His brother?!

Inside the locker room of Disrespect U, we see Christopher Daniels in between Kazarian, Luke Harper, and Chris Dickinson. Daniels’ face is blood red and a vein on his temple throbs with every beat of his heart.

[ Christopher Daniels ] And that’s why last week was an embarrassment!

[ Chris Dickinson ] Chris, I don’t get it.

Dickinson tries piecing it together.

[ Chris Dickinson ] So you’re mad at us for helpin’ you beat the shit outta’ Jon Moxley, even though Harper here not gettin’ to powerbomb ‘em through that windshield was completely outta’ our hands thanks to London and Riddle?

[ Christopher Daniels ] EXACTLY!

Harper finishes off a beer and crushes the can against his forehead, crumpling it. He then wipes his mouth and comments.

[ Luke Harper ] I was about to get real ass sadistic.

[ Chris Dickinson ] Yeah you were, bro. Which is why I don’t understand why Chris is mad.

[ Christopher Daniels ] I’m mad because you guys don’t get it! This continues to add on to the disrespect we’re receiving! I was in the first SGW main event! I was one of the first signings! I am Mr. SGW at this point! I should be allowed to do whatever the hell I want!

Daniels rubs his forehead, the stress is almost too much.

[ Christopher Daniels ] If I want to have one of my friends powerbomb a new guy through a car’s windshield, then I should be able to do it! So here’s the deal, guys.. Two weeks ago, that was on you. What happened was ALL.. YOUR.. FAULT!

Daniels pokes Harper and Dickinson in the chest with each of his index fingers, which isn’t exactly warmly welcomed.

[ Christopher Daniels ] So here’s your chance to redeem yourselves tonight. I want you two all over that damn street fight, you got me?

No responses.

[ Christopher Daniels ] YOU GOT ME?! HUH?!

Still nothing.

Daniels slaps Harper across the face as Dickinson’s eyes light up in shock.

[ Chris Dickinson ] Holy shit.

[ Christopher Daniels ] I.. I.. I should not have done that.

[ Luke Harper ] Do it again and I’ll get sadistic on your ass.

Daniels looks at Harper all befuddled.

[ Christopher Daniels ] You’ve been in SGW for months and you haven’t gotten sadistic on anyone’s ass yet! Why did I even pick you for this group?!

[ Luke Harper ] I’d rather be with Bray Wyatt anyway.

[ Christopher Daniels ] If you two screw this up and Moxley beats me tonight, then you’ll get eaten by the Fiend! There’ll be no room for you in Disrespect U! Disrespect U is for WINNERS!

[ Chris Dickinson ] Oh, so, you’re gonna’ bring in a new leader then? ‘Cause you don’t win shit.

Daniels is taken aback. Dickinson rolls his eyes at this entire situation.

[ Chris Dickinson ] Look. I understand what you’re tryin’ to do and I agree with it.. But hey, do yourself a favor and don’t get yourself fuckin’ killed before Moxley does it. We have your back, but don’t you EVER.. EVER.. pull this bullshit with us again. Deal?

Dickinson and Harper walk out as Kazarian shakes his head. Danielson puts his hands on top of his head, trying to comprehend what just happened.

[ Christopher Daniels ] I think I’ve messed up.

[ Frankie Kazarian ] Do ya’?

The scene fades.

Backstage, Chuck Taylor and Trent? are looking out with concerned looks on their faces. As they walk down the hallway, they look in every garbage can and kick open every door that appears closed.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Where the hell is this guy?

[ Trent? ] No idea, but this is getting ridiculous. How is he possibly missing?

[ Chuck Taylor ] Well, he doesn’t talk, walk, move, or blink.. Hell.. I don’t know if he even breathes.

Trent? scrunches his face, trying to comprehend.

[ Trent? ] He has to breathe.. Right?

As they continue their search, they come up on the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega deep in conversation. The Best Friends walk up and quiz the three.

[ Chuck Taylor ] You guys seen OC?

[ Kenny Omega ] Orange Cassidy?

[ Matt Jackson ] Little guy? Sandy blonde hair?

Chuck nods.

[ Nick Jackson ] Wearing aviators?

[ Kenny Omega ] And all denim, which my people call the “Canadian tuxedo?”

[ Matt Jackson ] With a lifeless expression on his face as if existing is simply an inconvenience?

[ Trent? ] Yeah! That’s him!

Omega and the Bucks all shake their heads in unison.

[ Kenny Omega ] Nope. Haven’t seen ‘em.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Dammit, Omega!

[ Nick Jackson ] You guys need to get Orange Cassidy a leash or something.

[ Matt Jackson ] I’m sorry you lost your friend, though.

Roderick Strong, Kyle O’Reilly, and Bobby Fish walk past the group and Matt can’t help but to speak up.

[ Matt Jackson ] Ask those guys. They’ll tell you all about losing a friend.

This stops Undisputed Era in their tracks. Bobby Fish turns and walks right up to Matt Jackson.

[ Bobby Fish ] Excuse me?

[ Matt Jackson ] I was just saying that you guys could help Chuck and Trent here. They can’t find Orange Cassidy, you guys lost Adam Cole.. Figured you could work through losing your meal tickets together, that’s all.

[ Kenny Omega ] Woof. I’m out on that. Catch you guys later.

Omega walks out of the view of the camera.

[ Roderick Strong ] Oh, and you guys are one to talk constantly hanging around the Brotherhood and Kenny.

[ Nick Jackson ] Well.. they’re our real friends.. So…

[ Matt Jackson ] Something you guys don’t have.

[ Chuck Taylor ] OH BURN!

Kyle O’Reilly takes great offense to this.

[ Kyle O’Reilly ] Words hurt, you know?

He pauses.

[ Kyle O’Reilly ] But not as much as this -

WHACK! O’Reilly head butts Matt Jackson between the eyes and the fight is on! Undisputed Era pounce on the Young Bucks as The Best Friends side-step the situation and put their hands up, wanting no part of the scuffle. It’s a three-on-two situation, but the Bucks are holding their own, trading blows back and forth. Finally, some road agents and arena security members show up and begin separating people to restore some order. With the two teams separated, each of them look like they’re wanting some more.

[ Bobby Fish ] C’mon, Bucks! Let’s go!

[ Nick Jackson ] We’re ready whenever y’all are!

Orange Cassidy casually strolls into the picture and deadpans each team. Without saying a word, he bends down and picks up Nick Jackson’s headband and extends his arm in Nick’s direction.

[ Nick Jackson ] Oh, thanks, man.

[ Orange Cassidy ] ....Yeah.

Orange Cassidy drops it to the ground before Nick can get his fingers on it. Without skipping a beat, Cassidy walks on by in the opposite direction of where the Best Friends headed earlier. This interruption leaves Undisputed Era and the Bucks both sidetracked.

[ Roderick Strong ] Freak.

The scene fades.

There is a staunch difference in the bodily stature of the two competitors in this contest – Paul London’s lanky 5’10, 180-pound frame would hold physically equal to many on the Solid Gold Wrestling roster; yet, he’s dwarfed by Big Sexy’s seven feet and 300-pounds. Nash pantomimes looking for his opponent across the ring, holding a hand over his eyes and squinting, really hamming it up for the nosebleeds while London chuckles and nods at the big man’s joke.

[ Scott Steiner ] YOU WON’T BE LAUGHIN’ SOON, YA STONEY JABRONI!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I’ll push back a bit, there, Scott – maybe Paul London’s relative indifference to Nash’s mind games will render his strategy ineffective!

[ Scott Steiner ] PAH! It takes a helluva lot to intimidate Big Sexy and I gotta tell ya, Gordon Ramsay – PAUL LONDON AIN’T IT!

London runs, leaping to attack Nash, but the big man catches him and narrows his eyes, flattening his mouth to non-verbally say “really?” Nash repositions London at his side and takes a few steps, leaping up and planting his opponent into the canvas with a huge sidewalk slam! Rather than make the cover, Nash rises takes a brief reprieve in the corner, watching London with a smirk across his face.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Why NOT go for the cover there??

[ Scott Steiner ] It’s about sendin’ a message, Schiavone! Tell me how many SGW Worlds Heavyweight Title did you ever win!?

[ Tony Schiavone ] I never won an SGW Heavywe—

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT, YOU JIZZ SACK!

London recovers enough to prop up on his knees as Nash discusses the sizable chest a front row female patron with Paul Turner, who is hesitant to look long enough to comment. Nash chuckles – but his relaxation is quickly interrupted as London runs into the corner and clatters his opponent with a corner dropkick!

Pittsburgh cheers as London got enough air to smack the big man in the chin with the attack! London does not hesitate and whips Nash off the ropes – and London leaps! Hurricanranaaaa—NO! NASH STOPS IT! JACKKNIFE COMING! – London rolls forward off Nash’s shoulders into a sunset flip! ONE! TWO! NO! Kevin Nash kicks out!

[ Tony Schiavone ] NEARLY! London nearly had him there!

London knows there is no time to wait and takes a step back, running ahead and stomping down on Nash’s back! London is still running and hits the ropes as Nash stands, still bent at the waist – London hooks the head and spins – TORNADO DDT! Huge impact and Nash is down, sprawled out on the canvas!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] WOW! I can’t say that I saw this coming here, fans, but Paul London certainly has Kevin Nash in an incredible position to win this contest! He’s got him set up to connect with either the 450 Splash or the London Calling – the gorgeous Shooting Star Press!

[ Tony Schiavone ] You’re right, Nigel – there he goes! He’s climbing the ropes!

London must be thinking in line with McGuinness and ascends to the top rope, still squatted as he ensures that Nash is down for good. On commentary, Scott Steiner laughs out loud.

[ Scott Steiner ] HAH! Stupid plan!

The Intrepid Traveler stands up to his full height and flies – shooting star press!

But Nash rolls inward, draining all the water from the pool and watching as London splats face-and-chest-first into the canvas! Nash pulls himself to his feet with the ropes and makes his way over to London, still stunned in place on his hands and knees from the bad landing on the SSP.

[ Scott Steiner ] GAME OVER, YOU PRETTY BOY FUCK!

Nash pulls London into position and hurls him seven feet up, onto his shoulders, steps forward and launches the Intrepid Traveler seven feet down, into the mat with the Jackknife Powerbomb! Nash kneels and hooks London’s leg mockingly as Turner counts the 1-2-3.

As Pittsburgh reacts in a mixed fashion to the result of the contest, Nash stands up and takes a big breath out, faux wiping sweat from his brow and flinging it at Paul Turner, who shakes off the nonexistent drops of perspiration quickly before realizing he was had. ‘Big Sexy’ points at him and laughs, clapping him a little too hard on the back before stepping over the top rope and to the floor.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Well, gents, another impressive victory for Big Sexy.

[ Scott Steiner ] HELL YEAH! KEEP LININ’ UP THESE LITTLE SHRIMPS AND BIG SEXY’LL KNOCK ‘EM DOWN, JUST LIKE…UH…

[ Tony Schiavone ] …you’ve got to think, Nigel, that Nash will be thick in contenti—

[ Scott Steiner ] LIKE SOMEONE WHO’S EATIN’ A BUNCHA SHRIMPS!

There’s an awkward silence.

[ Tony Schiavone ] …Nash will be thick in contention, you think, best buddy?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You’d have to think so, Tony. The Silver Fox has won impressively now in back to back showings – I’m sure he is craving the gold and all the accoutrements the accolades entail!

Now at the top of the ramp, Nash raises his fist into the air, smiling, while we cut away to Paul London rubbing his sore jaw as we fade to the back.

"NO MAS"

ANDRADE IS
COMING SOON

Jon Moxley paces back and forth, forming an almost perfectly straight line. Maybe it’s caused by anxiousness, nervous energy, or a combination of the two.

[ Jon Moxley ] Christopher Daniels, tonight is the night, pal.

Moxley’s pacing continues as he speaks out to no one in particular. He’s in the zone.

[ Jon Moxley ] I’ve been in SGW for a month, and for a month, your little group has done nothing but be a thorn in my side.. it all comes to an end tonight.

He stops dead in his tracks and looks into the camera. It’s all come down to tonight. By the look in his eyes, he’s ready.

[ Jon Moxley ] And that’s unfortunate for you. Because you see, Chris, this is a street fight. Anything goes, brother. That crap you and your boys tried pulling at Infiltration, it’s legal. So be my guest. Do your worst. Power bomb me on the pavement if you’re able to, try to beat me into a bloody pulp until I can’t stand to defend myself any longer if you wanna’ try. It’s legal… but on the flip side, you know what else is legal?

A sinister smirk filled with bad intentions comes across Moxley’s face.

[ Jon Moxley ] Me caving your skull in with a baseball bat.

It’d be a dangerous idea to try to read Moxley’s mind.

[ Jon Moxley ] This schedule SGW’s on, it’s bad news for you, Daniels. I’ve had two weeks.. Fourteen days.. Between Infiltration and right here, right now, to think about all the vicious, cruel, vile, rotten, filthy, awful, hurtful things I’m gonna’ do to you tonight. Trust me when I say this, they’re fun. They’re painful. They’re bad enough that if I get to do them all, you’re gonna’ regret the day you and your ragtag group of buddies ever messed with me! Because you see, the thing that separates you and I…

Moxley is all over the place.

[ Jon Moxley ] You’re fake tough. That goes for you and all of Disrespect U. None of you individually are tough but together, you guys play the numbers game. I took care of Dickinson at Infiltration and so tonight, I guess I’m just gonna’ have to cut the head off the snake and send the rest of your cronies scattering like the cockroaches they are!

He’s nearly foaming at the mouth.

[ Jon Moxley ] You’re gonna’ get hurt tonight, Chris. And it’ll be all your fault. You being my little welcome committee will end up being the end of your life!

Matt Riddle and Paul London walk in together and greet Moxley with big smiles. Moxley looks uninterested in their existence. London is showing the aftermath of his match earlier, walking very gingerly.

[ Matt Riddle ] Bro, vicious promo!

[ Paul London ] “Cut the head off the snake!” Dude, crazy stuff man. Great line. Although, technically, that snake would still be alive.

Riddle looks at London, shocked.

[ Matt Riddle ] Wait, what?

[ Paul London ] Snakes can still bite after being decapitated.

[ Matt Riddle ] Bro?

[ Paul London ] Snakes and other cold-blooded animals don't thermoregulate internally, instead relying on outside sources for warmth. Because their bodies aren't generating their own heat, their energy and oxygen requirements are lower. This is how some cold-blooded, or ectothermic, animals are able to survive without oxygen for periods of time.

Riddle’s eyes double in size. He understood NONE of that but is still impressed. His delivery is serious and slightly concerned.

[ Matt Riddle ] Bro.

The camera pans over to the left to show Moxley with his arms crossed, about five seconds away from fighting both of them. He cuts right to the chase.

[ Jon Moxley ] Can I help you two with something?

[ Matt Riddle ] Oh! Right. Bro, if you need us out there tonight, we’ll have your backs against Disrespect U.

[ Paul London ] Like a couple of snakes. But not in the fashion of “snakes” being a derogatory term for people with questionable characters, but legitimate snakes, ready to strike at any moment.

Moxley deadpans both of them, his only movement being to blink every few seconds. His brain is trying to unpack everything going on. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Moxley nods.

[ Jon Moxley ] Alright. I need a drink.

Moxley walks off, leaving Riddle and London standing.

[ Paul London ] I don't think he liked my snake facts.

[ Matt Riddle ] Bro. Knowledge is power and you made him even stronger tonight.

Eight-women tag team action is next!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Zahra Schreiber is one of the most polarizing figures in professional wrestling!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I don't know that I'd call her polarizing, Tony! I think everyone unanimously hates her!

[ Tony Schiavone ] I don't know if Peyton Royce wants any of what Nia Jax is handing out!

[ Scott Steiner ] God damn! That Samoan broad's got a FAT ASS but she hits like a damn dump truck!

[ Scott Steiner ] Here we go with this alien bullshit again!

[ Tony Schiavone ] What is the former SGW World Heavyweight Champion doing!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The Rock just left the team down one person and Candy Floss is following them out! Where is the Rock taking Kris Statlander!?

[ Tony Schiavone ] Blatant interference! Rick Knox should eject her from ringside!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is pandemonium!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Are you joking right now!? Why!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] She's doing everything it takes to win, Tony!

[ The Rock ] OH YEAH! THIS IS IT, MAMA! THE ROCK SAYS...

[ The Rock ] THIS... IS... IT!

[ The Rock ] Where's John!?

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK WANTS TO KNOW... WHERE... IS... JOHN!?

[ The Rock ] Hey! Hey-hey-hey! YOU TWO! Jabronis! The Rock has one question... AND THE ROCK MEANS ONE-AHHHH QUESTION!

[ The Rock ] WHERE'S JOHN!?

[ Hooded Figure ] Stop using that name! Just stop! Put her in the back, Dwayne!

[ The Rock ] Oh! Oh yeah! The Rock's gonna do just that! As a matter of fact, let The Rock break it down for ya', mama! First, The Rock is gonna take this thick alien jabroni bitch, yeah! The Rock's gonna take her and then The Rock is gonna shiiiiiiiiiiine her up real nice! Yeah! The Rock's gonna shine 'er up real nice, see?!

[ The Rock ] AND THEN THE ROCK'S GONNA TURN THIS BITCH SIDEWAYS AND THROW 'ER IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!

[ The Rock ] Ya' see that? The Rock threw 'er in the back o' the van. Ya' let John know The Rock did that, see? The Rock's a team player! The Rock says THE ROCK... is a team...

[ The Rock ] PLAY-URRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[ The Rock ] Hey, mama. The Rock hopes ya' like long dongs.

[ Hooded Figure ] We're both dudes, Dwayne.

[ The Rock ] What did you just say to The Rock?! Did this faceless scraggle puss just assume The Rock's sexual preference?! Let The Rock tell you something, scraggle puss! THE ROCK WILL TRY ANYTHING ONCE!

[ The Rock ] TWO-WIIIIIIICE IF THE ROCK LIKES IT!

[ Hooded Figure #2 ] The Supreme Being thanks you for your service tonight.

[ Hooded Figure #2 ] What?

[ The Rock ] Keys, jabroni! Give the keys to The Rock!

[ Hooded Figure ] Oh. Oh no.

[ Hooded Figure #2 ] We can't let him drive.

[ Hooded Figure ] What if you sit in the front seat and we drive you around like a...

[ Hooded Figure ] ...like a very important person? Would you like that?

[ The Rock ] Why wouldn't The Rock like that?! The Rock IS a very important person, jabroni! The Rock wants to deliver this tight little package to The Supreme Being himself! Yeah! Baby, I'm The Rock!

[ Candy Floss ] KRIS!

[ Candy Floss ] KRIS, WHERE ARE YOU!?

[ Candy Floss ] Oh, no! No, no, no! I've lost 'er!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Someone get out there! This is going too far!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Dr. Cube's Army hasn't forgotten what happened at Infiltration! Candy Floss has been a thorn in Dr. Cube's side for a time now and he obviously wishes t' see her bloody eliminated!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Thank goodness for arena security!

[ Dr. Cube ] This is it, Tucor! Finish her!

[ Dr. Cube ] Finish her, Tucor! I command you!

The camera switches and our view is overtaken by cigar smoke. Kevin Nash stretches, resting comfortably in a leather recliner. A big cigar resides between his teeth. He’s wearing nothing but a smile and a white towel around his waist. Life is pretty good right now for Big Sexy.

[ Kevin Nash ] This beating up smaller guys is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Ten-out-of-ten. Would recommend.

Roman Reigns passes by, minding his own business. Nash catches him out of the corner of his eye and removes the cigar from his mouth. He motions widely for Roman.

[ Kevin Nash ] Hey! Big man, c’mon over here.

Reluctantly, Roman obliges and is caught off guard by the sight.

[ Kevin Nash ] Now, I know what you’re thinking..

[ Roman Reigns ] ..That you’re not wearing any clothes?

[ Kevin Nash ] You’re thinking, “damn, look at Big Kev. The guy put on a six star classic tonight and had a custom recliner delivered to the arena just for him.”

Roman disagrees.

[ Roman Reigns ] I was more concerned as to why you’re not wearing any pants and smoking in the locker room.

Nash pays him no mind, continuing his thought.

[ Kevin Nash ] “How, Kev? How did you pull Paul London to six stars? How did you become the greatest sports entertainer ever?”

[ Roman Reigns ] That match wasn’t six stars, brother.

[ Kevin Nash ] Oh, right. Because we aren’t in the Tokyo Dome.

Nash stews it over and snaps his fingers with an idea.

[ Kevin Nash ] Got it! Someone get Melzter on the phone! Tell ‘em I have a scoop for the dirt sheet!

Nash flashes his hands above his head as if he’s reading off of a marquee.

[ Kevin Nash ] SGW Total Destruction - Kevin Nash defeats Paul London in a seven star match! Nash overcame the odds and sealed the win with a shooting star press!

[ Roman Reigns ] Alright. I thought the seven stars was a stretch..

[ Kevin Nash ] Hey brah, don’t kill my vibe. Just because you didn’t see me do it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Come on over, sit down underneath the Big Sexy learning tree, and let me teach you about life, Big Dog.

Roman gives Nash a skeptical look but Nash insists.

[ Kevin Nash ] C’mon, we’ll even smoke a victory cigar.

[ Roman Reigns ] I didn’t come out on top tonight.

Nash scratches the back of his head with a confused look on his face.

[ Kevin Nash ] Well.

Nash is genuinely shocked.

[ Kevin Nash ] Big guys.. Don’t make ‘em like they used to.

He shakes it off.

[ Kevin Nash ] Well, hell, c’mon anyway. Let Big Kev spin you a yard while he smokes his victory cigar. I’d share, but, you know.. Victory cigars are for.. Victors. These aren’t participation trophy cigars, snowflake.

[ Roman Reigns ] I don’t smoke.

Nash leans down and opens a small, white Styrofoam cooler and pulls out a bottle of Miller Lite. He twists the cap off and chunks it across the room like he's shooting a basketball. He holds his follow-through while loudly proclaiming.

[ Kevin Nash ] KOBE!

The lid lands harmlessly on the floor. Reigns is not amused.

[ Kevin Nash ] Miss that guy. We were total besties. I taught ‘em everything he knew. How to win rings and how to give ‘em when you’ve done something wrong. A true Jedi.

[ Roman Reigns ] What does this have to do with anything?

Nash takes a big swig of his beer and puts the cigar back in his mouth. After taking his time with a big puff, he blows the smoke into the air and rests it on the mouth of his bottle.

[ Kevin Nash ] Right, right.. The learning tree and stuff. Look pal, I got to thinking between the time it took me to take this beer out of the cooler and toss the lid across the room and I think I'm going to do you a big time favor.. You give me fifty bucks and I’ll teach you how to live. You’ll never do the j-o-b again and you’ll have a gosh dang rocket ship strapped to those broad shoulders of yours.. Zoom! Right to the top of SGDubya!

[ Roman Reigns ] Fifty bucks?

[ Kevin Nash ] Did I say fifty? I meant twenty-five.

Reigns rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

[ Roman Reigns ] I'm gonna' pass on that, chief. But hey, good luck with that. Enjoy that victory cigar.

Reigns walks off, leaving Nash in his recliner trying to figure out where he went wrong. Nash shrugs, looking completely unphased.

[ Kevin Nash ] Well, you know what they say about Samoans and their hard heads.

He takes another swig of his beer.

[ Kevin Nash ] Never smash ‘em against the turnbuckle pads. Won’t work.

Nash leans the recliner back as far as it will go, exposing himself in the process. A blurred circle overtakes the bottom section of the towel around his waist.

[ Kevin Nash ] Ah… Gotta’ let ‘em breathe, baby.

The scene fades.

Our opening bell is an afterthought; as soon as Senior Official Mike Chioda can complete his pre-match inspections on both men, Daniels and Moxley are in center ring, fists flying.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Here we go! These two have had nothing but contempt for one another in 2020!

[ Scott Steiner ] Now they’ve got fuckin’ fists for each other!

Moxley connects with a quick jab, stunning Daniels, before dashing into the ropes – but Daniels is up and thrashes his opponent with a big leg lariat, sending the Death Rider to the floor early! Daniels pauses for a moment, imploring Moxley to rise, before charging off the far ropes and leaps! – Daniels turns in mid-air and sits, it’s the Arabian Moonsault to the floor! – BUT MOXLEY CATCHES HIM ON HIS SHOULDER!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH! OH NO, JON MOXLEY CAUGHT HIM!

Daniels eyes shoot open wide as he tries to squirm away from Moxley’s well-worn grip, but it’s nothing doing as the Death Rider charges ahead and falls to his stomach, sending the Fallen Angel face-first into the steel steps at ringside! Daniels sort of rolls through the impact to his face and sits up, blood pouring from a gash on his forehead only a minute and a half into the contest!

[ Scott Steiner ] BLOOD IN THE WATER!

Almost on command, Luke Harper and Chris Dickinson dart down the aisle, crashing into Moxley with a series of forearm strikes. The Disrespect U members rain down their blows into the Death Rider, punishing him with each successive strike until Harper inarticulately growl-roars something at Dickinson, whose disgusting smile is a non-verbal affirmative we can all understand. The Dirty Daddy lifts Moxley as Harper takes a few steps back and steps in – BIG BOOT!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Oh my word, what a shot from Harper! That big boot will knock you unconscious!

One of Harper’s strongest attacks sends spittle flying in every direction as Moxley lands flat-backed on the protective mats at ringside. Almost immediately, Harper slaps Daniels in the face, doing his best to revive his bloodied teammate. Daniels isn’t coherent enough at the moment to direct his partners in crime, but Dickinson has enough of an idea to put a smile on Harper’s bearded mug – a PAZUZU BOMB INTO THE RING POST!

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO! No, absolutely not! YOU CAN’T!

Before Dickinson can get Moxley lifted up for the attack, the cavalry arrives! Matt Riddle runs barefooted down the ramp and leaps up, striking Harper with a rising knee shot to the jaw as Paul London dropkicks Dickinson, eliminating his grip on Moxley! The PPG Paints Arena is in a tizzy for the pair, who do not take time to react to their strong applause, instead forcing Dickinson and Harper into separate brawls, taking their attention from the match at hand!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This has turned into an all-out brawl! A gang war!

On the floor, Riddle is fighting off Harper with a series of kicks to the thighs, but Dickinson’s bicycle kick stops his pace as the Disrespect U Staff Members finally regain control of the brawl before looking around and wondering – “where’s London?” Paul answers the question in his own abstract way, soaring off the top rope to the floor with a picture-perfect 450 Splash, connecting with Harper, Dickinson, and Riddle as the fans roar out their approval!

[ Tony Schiavone ] GOOD LORD! GOOD LORD! That might just be the most sickening maneuver in the History of This Business!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] London just wiped out the entire field with that beautiful dive!

Chioda has had enough of the distractions and calls for several backstage assistants and road agents to remove the downed quartet of interferers from ringside – this match will be one on one! Pittsburgh are fans of the call, though Christopher Daniels’ angered face is enough to assure his hesitance to accept the decision! With no time to argue with the official, Daniels is up and hooks Moxley, dropping his opponent with a beautiful STO on the floor! Moxley howls out in pain as he hits the ground – unable to stop the attack.

Daniels, behaving like a mad man, stomps down on Moxley’s chest and head over and over, finally straddling him in the mount position and raining down blows as the Death Rides covers his head as well as he can. Finally, Daniels ceases his punching and pulls Moxley up, whipping him furiously into the guardrails. A strained expression instantly washes over Moxley’s face, but he dives right into Daniels just after impact, taking him down in a stranglehold as Pittsburgh roars out excitedly.

[ Scott Steiner ] Moxley’s comin’ alive on Mr. Clean’s bald ass! Kill!

Daniels quickly thumbs Moxley in the eye and rolls over into the dominant position and headbutts Moxley, drawing blood from a split above his eyebrow. Daniels, staggered from the sheer force of the blow, takes a moment and lifts Moxley up, hurling him under the bottom rope and into the ring. The Fallen Angel takes a moment to shake off the pain in his noggin before looking under the ring – and pulling out a steel chair! The PPG Arena roars out, excited, as Daniels turns his attention menacingly towards his opponent, still down and bloodied on the mat.

[ Tony Schiavone ] No, Daniels! No! This is taking this too far!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Are you SERIOUS, Tony? Daniels ordered his buddies to jump and attack Moxley! They powerbombed him through an announce stage! They attacked him! They’ve brawled with him constantly! They picked this fight and now Daniels has a steel chair – whether or not you agree with his methods, he’s going to do whatever it takes to win this match!

[ Scott Steiner ] YEAH! AND MORE OVERS, IT’S A FUCKIN’ STREET FIGHT! ANY TIME I EVER BRAWL IN THE STREETS – AT A SPORTS GAME, AT A BANK, DOWNTOWN, AT A SCHOOL, WHEREVER – WEAPONS IS LEGAL! NOTHIN’S OFF LIMITS IN THE DAMN STREETS! Well…except kicks to the cock! NO HONOR IN IT!

Daniels slides into the ring, steel chair firmly in his grasp and walks slowly to center ring, setting up the seat before slowly lowering himself onto it, watching Moxley all the while. The Fallen Angel narrows his eyes and leans forward, watching as the Death Rider crawls to him, grabbing at the laces of his boots in an effort to stand up. Smiling and shaking his head at the effort, Daniels stops moving and watches as Moxley makes his way to a knee, reaching for his opponent’s throat.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Still fight in Moxley! He’s not ready to lay down and die!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Never! That’s the heart of the warrior beating in his chest!

[ Scott Steiner ] Mr. Clean needs to stop wastin’ time and beat his chest in, you’re right!

Christopher Daniels stops his delaying and stands up, planting a boot into Moxley’s face, stunning him, before positioning him for a piledriver! The PPG Paints Arena roars out, familiar with the devastation the maneuver can bring, but Daniels has another measure of evil up his sleeves.

And he isn’t even wearing a shirt.

Demonstrating surprising strength, Daniels lifts Moxley up into position before stepping with one foot onto the seat of the steel chair and leaping – higher than normal with the chair’s assistance – and landing ass-first in a sick piledriver! Pittsburgh groans out an applause as Daniels worms into a cover, hooking both legs! ONE! TWO! THR—NO! JON MOXLEY KICKS OUT!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] My God, what a piledriver! I’m pretty shocked that Moxley could get his shoulder up!

Daniels’ face is plastered with a grotesque mix of shock and fury as Mox kicks out. The Fallen Angel looks at Chioda, absolutely beside himself, and stands up to get in the official’s face! Chioda stands his ground, informing Daniels that the count ‘is what it is,’ but predictably – the Fallen Angel doesn’t like this answer and shoves Chioda! As the Senior Official stumbles off, Daniels spits at Moxley, now completely infuriated.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Daniels is absolutely disgusting! Who does he think he is?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I think he’s well on his way to the biggest victory of his career here! He’s putting an absolute licking on Moxley!

Chioda turns to reprimand Daniels, who is already positioning the Death Rider towards the turnbuckles before sliding out of the ring again, head shaking angrily the entire way. Daniels produces another steel chair from under the ring and smacks it thrice, sending a loud, dull thud echoing through the raucous Pittsburgh fans. The Dean of Disrespect U re-enters the ring, chair still in hand before crossing himself and running, hopping over Daniels and up the ropes!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH! OH MY WORD!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Moxley moves! He got out of the way and oh, dear God!

[ Scott Steiner ] DANIELS IS FUCKED!

As Daniels moonsaulted, Moxley wisely rolled inward to avoid the blow and scrambled to his feet, charging recklessly into Daniels with a Knee Trembler! As Moxley’s knee connected with the steel chair, sending it pendulum-ball-style into Daniels’ skull, he crumbles gracelessly to the canvas. Daniels’ cut, hardly even closed up from his fall into the ring steps, was only briefly caught by an SGW Cameraman before he falls to his stomach. The cut is jagged and horrifying, spraying blood upon impact and now eking the precious viscous fluid onto the canvas. The sheer shock and desperation of the knee strike was enough to leave both men absolutely wasted in the crime scene previously known as center ring as the Pittsburgh fans reach critical mass.

[ Scott Steiner ] Look at that blood! He’s bleedin’ like a stuck pig, dammit! That damn Moxley needs to quit jerkin’ off and get the shit done!

With Moxley on his knees, bent backwards and breathing deeply, completely spent, and Daniels laying face first on the canvas in a puddle of his own blood, the entire ring is a scene of physical desolation.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Who will be the first man ABLE to capitalize on the situation at hand?! Who is physically ABLE TO WIN?!

Mox flexes his arms weakly and struggles to lift his torso, finally falling over himself to the right and army crawling before feebly forcing himself off the mat, wobbling as he stands on his two feet above the Fallen, bloodied Angel before him. Grunting with each exertion and screaming through the pain of muscling Daniels up and into the double-underhook, Moxley clenches his eyes shut, grits his teeth and lifts!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] UP!! AND DOWN!!

The pair fall awkwardly into a sickening Paradigm Shift, Moxley dropping the Fallen Angel head-first into the steel chair! The seat finally gives way to Daniels’ weight, cradling his head in a hard, unforgiving hollow of metal as his body slumps over onto the mat beside Moxley, who hasn’t moved since exerting enough to muscle his seemingly unconscious opponent up and down.

[ Tony Schiavone ] GOOD LORD! GOOD LORD! Now THAT might just be the most sickening maneuver in the History of This Business!

After a moment of delay, Moxley uses his head and shoulders to roll Daniels over and onto his back, slumping his chest and outstretched arm across him to collect the well-earned three count from Chioda.

As the bell rings, Chioda immediately dons his rubber gloves and begins attending to both men, the gaping gash on Daniels’ head his primary concern. A team of doctors enter the ring awkwardly to care for both men as Chioda breathes out deeply, having seen some major insanity over the last near 18 minutes.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Jon Moxley has done it, fans. He’s overcome an incredible effort from Christopher Daniels AND Disrespect U to take the Street Fight right here in Pittsburgh!

Daniels’ skull is immediately being treated with bandages and wraps as a group of officials escorts Moxley from the ring, his eyes still clinched shut from the pain he’s in.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What a contest, that’s for sure. I’m completely convinced that neither man will ever be the same again!

[ Scott Steiner ] Damn, that chair is wrecked as shit, too!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Quite right, Scott! Christopher Daniels’ skull may be, as well!

The scenery is being surveyed through long, sweeping shots of the ringside area as Daniels is beginning to be removed from the ring and Moxley feebly lifts a hand to salute the roaring Pittsburgh crowd while we fade away from the carnage-filled ring.

[ Rhea Ripley ] What do ya' want? You wanna have a go now?

[ Nia Jax ] Maybe I do.

[ Nia Jax ] Not against you, though.

[ Nia Jax ] With you.

[ Nia Jax ] Against those bitches that screwed us over tonight.

[ Rhea Ripley ] Normally, I'd give my mate Christina a call in a situation like this... but since she's run-off and nobody knows where she bloody is... that doesn't like the worst idea I've ever heard. When the times come... I'll give ya' a shout.

In the parking lot, we see Cathy Kelley sprinting at the fastest speed she can possibly hit wearing high heels trying to chase down Dustin Rhodes, who has reached his rental car.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Dustin!

Dustin pops the trunk of his car and slings his gear bag inside of it. He’s still in his bodysuit and face paint from earlier tonight.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Dustin, why did you abandon Cody?!

The trunk slams down and Dustin brushes her off once she catches up to him. He opens the driver side door of the car and attempts to sit down, but Cathy makes one final attempt.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Dustin, please! Any comments on what you did tonight?

Dustin shakes his head and looks Cathy dead in the eyes. The normally joyful and courteous member of the Rhodes family barks back at her.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] No.

The car door slams shut, hitting so hard you think the glass was about to shatter. Dustin fires the car up, turns the lights on, and guns it out of the parking spot, speeding off into the night. Cathy shakes her head, distraught that she was unable to get any comments.

“One True Villain” by HotTag Media plays in the background as Marty Scurll takes center-stage. Even though he already competed tonight, Scurll is looking fresh in an oversized fur coat with a blue vest, black necktie and a pinstripe white shirt underneath. His signature oval sunglasses reflect the glare of the camera off of them as he twirls an umbrella on his left shoulder.

[ Marty Scurll ] Two.. and.. Zero.

Woop! Woop!

[ Marty Scurll ] That’s “The Villain’s” record afta’ a month in Solid Gold. Not bad if I do say so myself. I stomped out the hottest star in SGW and tonight, my friends n’ I.. well.. We beat someone who’s seen betta’ days.

He pauses as the music continues playing. The darkened background makes it difficult to see at times when Marty isn’t standing directly in front of the one white light that actually works.

[ Marty Scurll ] Tonight, all of Solid Gold Wrestlin’ was put on notice. Not only am I a threat to everyone and every championship in the company, but my friends are too. Who are my friends? Why, numpty, let me introduce them to you.

Paul Robinson steps forward, still shirtless and wearing a pair of light colored blue jeans. While Scurll looks clean and dapper, Robinson is the opposite, looking like he just literally came from the ring.

[ Marty Scurll ] Paul Robinson. Short in statue, light in weight, this pitbull will bloody eat all of ya’ alive if you cross us. This man does not know when ta’ quit and I’m quite proud to give him a propa’ place to do his worst in this business.

Robinson has a wild look in his eyes as he yells into the camera. His veins bulging out of his temples and neck.

[ Marty Scurll ] And if, for some reason, you’re able ta’ make it ‘frew Paul, you’re gonna’ hafta’ go through the otha’ memba’ of Villain Enterprises…

WALTER steps forward on Marty’s right-hand side. His arms rest behind his back as his barrel-chest puffs out far in our direction. WALTER’s signature scowl combined with Paul Robinson’s antics makes the mood instantly uncomfortable.

[ Marty Scurll ] Ah yes, and this is WALTER. His hands are made o' steel. His chops will rip the flesh straight from yer bones! We're just some European lads who are lookin' for great opportunity. Good luck stoppin' us.

Scurll smirks. His voice becomes more confident, which you can't fault him for. If you had these two on your side, you would be as well.

[ Marty Scurll ] As you can see, I’ve assembled quite the dream team for my quest to take ova’ Solid Gold Wrestlin’. One month, two matches down, and we’ve not even gotten started. I came hea’ to cause a spot’a botha’ and I have to say, we’ve propa’ behaved ourselves thus far. And why is this? Why has Villain Enterprises, a team that could easily take ova’ SGW in one night bidin’ their time?

He pauses.

[ Marty Scurll ] You’re welcome.

Woop! Woop!

[ Marty Scurll ] We’ve watched from afar fa’ far too long. We know the inner-workings of this company like the back o’ our hands. The Adam Coles, the Randy Ortons, the PACs.. All fine competitors but not on my level. I’ve watched Tim Storm try ta’ talk sense into the maniac Bryan Danielson. I’ve seen newcomers like Jon Moxley and Kevin Nash spark interest in the company.. And I’ve done nothin’ but choose my opening.

Scurll takes his sunglasses off and hands them to Robinson.

[ Marty Scurll ] And trust me, when the time is right, we’re gonna’ attack. Villain Enterprises is goin’ ta’ unleash hell that has neva’ been seen in this company before. And when it happens, numpty, there’s simply nothin’ you can do. These champions will fall to the side. These big contenda’s will be exposed as the frauds they truly are.. Until then, I’ll continue ta’ beat anyone that comes my way.. But consida’ this your one and only warnin’.

Woop! Woop!

Fade.

Tim Storm and PAC look alive as Arn Anderson and Britt Baker circle the outside. Aubrey Edwards gives instructions to each team and then signals for the bell. Tim Storm and Steve Corino start and Corino is hesitant to lock up in the beginning until Storm leaves him no choice, punching him square in the jaw and then locking in a headlock. Corino bounces him off the ropes to break free and hits a shoulder tackle. As Corino springs off the ropes, Storm is up and gets hit with another shoulder tackle. Corino taunts and tries it again but this time, Storm is able to hit a powerslam and gets a quick two count. Corino quickly tags Cole in as the fans begin booing loudly.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Steve Corino is inside a SGW ring for the first time since SGWx in 2004 and it hasn’t started the way he intended, but here comes the SGW World Champion!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tim Storm is fired up tonight, doin’ his best to fight for the honor of Solid Gold Wrestling!

Storm and Cole are in the middle of the ring exchanging trash talk. Cole pie-faces Storm and screams, “FIGHT ME!” And again! Cole then slaps Storm across the face as hard as he can and then spits right between Storm’s eyes! Storm lunges for Cole but Cole makes a quick tag to Corino. The two members of the Origin enter and pounce on Storm as he tries fending them both off unsuccessfully. PAC goes to step into the ring but HERE’S JACK EVANS AND ANGELICO! They yank PAC off the apron and mug him on the outside!

[ Scott Steiner ] WHERE’S SCARLETT BORDEAUX?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Really, Scott? PAC is gettin’ destroyed on the outside as Tim Storm is getting mauled on the inside and all you’re worried about is Scarlett Bordeaux?

[ Scott Steiner ] This ain’t my fight! I’m here to look.

Angelico whips PAC into the guardrail as Evans follows up immediately with a running drop kick, sending PAC’s head banging against the railing!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The Hybrid 2 has practically taken PAC out of this match!

Aubrey Edwards restores some order as Corino is inside the ring by himself with Storm. Corino looks down on Storm with an arrogant smile on his face and yells with spit flying everywhere, “I’M GONNA’ SHOW YOU OLD SCHOOL!” Picking Storm up by the hair, Corino grabs Storm and body slams him and hits an elbow drop. Corino then picks Storm up and applies a sleeper hold and Storm drops to one knee! Aubrey checks the status of Storm as the fans are rallying behind him. Storm then drops to his butt as Aubrey lifts his arm and it drops… Again she lifts his arm and it drops.. On the third time, it drops but Storm rises at the last second! Storm works his way to his feet and hits elbow shots to Corino’s gut and slings Corino over his shoulder to the mat. Storm lunges for his corner, only to realize PAC is still getting assaulted on the outside!

[ Tony Schiavone ] This isn’t right!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tim Storm is screwed, gentlemen!

Corino makes a tag and Cole picks Storm up and hits a snap suplex for a quick two count. Cole stands over Storm and proclaims, “ADAM COLE, BAY-BAY!” Then he picks Storm up, SUPER KICK! Storm staggers and Cole picks him up on his shoulders, LAST SHOT! Cole arrogantly covers..

[ Nigel McGuinness ] THINGS ARE GOIN’ FROM BAD TA’ WORSE FOR STORM BECAUSE HERE’S BRYAN DANIELSON!

Danielson runs down the ramp and slides into the ring to break up the count! Danielson exits the ring and grabs the tag rope. As Aubrey Edwards scolds Danielson, he tries explaining something to her.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wait a second, is Bryan Danielson trying to volunteer to be Tim Storm’s tag partner?

[ Scott Steiner ] Tim Storm’s better off fightin’ this one on his own if he's gonna' hafta' rely on this freak for a partner!

Aubrey shrugs and allows it as Danielson is fired up in the corner. He motions to the fans, trying to get them into it by slapping the turnbuckle and stomping his feet.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It makes sense! Tim Storm gave Danielson that pep talk earlier in the night about not bein’ selfish, and then you have to remember, Danielson does have history with Adam Cole stemming back a few shows! This is Bryan Danielson’s chance at redemption!

Cole paintbrushes the back of Storm’s head and then steps to the middle rope. As Storm comes to a standing position, Cole bounces off the ropes, PANAMA SUNRI-NO! STORM BLOCKS IT INTO A BACK BODY DROP! The fans are begging for a tag as Storm looks up to see Danielson in his corner. Storm crawls on his hands and feet to his corner and TAGS DANIELSON! Danielson comes in a house of fire, cleaning out Cole with a running knee and knocking Corino off the apron with one as well! The fans are blowing the roof off of the place. Danielson grabs Cole’s hands and begins stomping the SGW Champion right in the face with a flurry of boots! Storm is in the corner resting as Danielson is taking it to the SGW Champion. Storm tags back in and they whip Cole into the ropes, big back body drop! Storm can’t believe his eyes as Danielson extends a hand.. They shake hands and the crowd pops huge for it. HEADBUTT TO THE NOSE FROM DANIELSON! Storm clutches his nose as Danielson hits a running knee on Storm and begins stomping him in the face as well!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] BRYAN DANIELSON’S REDEMPTION DID NOT LAST!

[ Scott Steiner ] I told y’all Tim Storm was better off!

Aubrey dives in and prevents Danielson from attacking any longer. Danielson flips her the middle finger and then gives it to the rest of the people in attendance. He exits the ring with the middle fingers high in the air. Cole tags in Corino, who wastes no time. STORM ROLLS CORINO UP - ONE.. TWO.. NO! Corino ax kicks Storm in the back of the head and picks Storm up, OLD SCHOOL EXPULSION! One.. tw- kickout! Not even a two count! Storm comes up looking pissed off with a trickle of blood coming from his nose. Cole rushes the ring - PERFECT STORM! Corino picks Storm up from behind and hits an Atomic Drop but Storm no-sells it! Storm punches Corino three times and whips him against the ropes, PERFECT STORM! Here comes… Shane Douglas?

[ Scott Steiner ] Dear God...

[ Tony Schiavone ] What is the former SGW Lifetime Champion doing?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is his hometown after all!

Arn Anderson hops on the apron and argues with Aubrey Edwards as Douglas slides into the ring and reaches into the front of his khaki pants. He pulls out a microphone and whacks Tim Storm across the skull with it! Super kick from Adam Cole! Old School Expulsion! Douglas exits the ring as Corino collapses on top of Storm right as Aubrey Edwards turns around. One..two.. Three! The Origin win!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Damn you, Shane Douglas! Damn you to the gates of hell!

After the match, Corino and Cole celebrate as Britt Baker, Arn Anderson and Shane Douglas enter the ring. Douglas and Cole take center stage as Douglas throws his arms out to the side, screaming for Cole to “bring it in for the real thing.” The fans are chanting “BULLSHIT!” over and over as Cole steps to Douglas, embracing his obsessive fan to the disdain of the fans in Pittsburgh! The five members of the Origin hold hands and raise them in the air to all four sides of the ring as Aubrey Edwards checks on Tim Storm.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize, but all of this was b.s.! Tim Storm had his original partner jumped by The Hybrid 2. Bryan Danielson comes down to redeem himself and then turns on Storm! Storm then fights valiantly on his own at FIFTY years old and to end it off, is leveled by “The Franchise” Shane Douglas, who I’m pretty sure STILL works for SGW! This is all one big pile of.. Well.. This is just horrible to see happen and there not be a damn thing anyone can do about it!

As The Origin continue celebrating in the ring, the lights go out. Pitch black darkness overtakes the entire arena.

Havoc has a microphone and raises it to his mouth, which is covered by a spiked mask. He softly utters one word.

[ Jimmy Havoc ] Heartbreaker.

Havoc drops the microphone and points the ax in Adam Cole’s general direction as Britt Baker hands him the SGW Championship.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Adam Cole is on the road to WrestleBrawl 3, but it appears as though he has one stop to make along the way.. Jimmy Havoc has named his time and place for his World title shot and it appears to be in two weeks in Philadelphia!

The song continues blasting in the background as the fans are beginning to sing along. Cole wipes the hair out of his eyes and raises the SGW title in the air, mouthing off to Havoc in the process.

Havoc turns around and leaves as we get one final shot of Adam Cole being reassured by Arn Anderson and Steve Corino. Cole shakes his head, his moment ruined by the King of the Goths.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Good for Jimmy Havoc! I hope we have a new SGW World Champion in two weeks time!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That’s all for tonight, ladies and gentlemen! The Origin may have came out on top tonight, but Heartbreaker is goin’ to be one for the record books as we speed towards WrestleBrawl 3!