As the lights rise in the arena and your screen adjusts to the massive King Abdullah International Stadium in scenic Jeddah, the capital of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, your ears are treated to an onslaught from the get-go as both the 100,000 strong in the arena as well as one man, preparing to speak over them all. You know his voice.

The world knows his voice.

Hell, the UNIVERSE probably knows his voice. They certainly know his face, and it soon fills your screen. A flat expression across his face, he breathes in slowly through his nose before speaking.

[ The Rock ] …FINALLY….the Rock! HAS! COME! BACK!...to Jeddah, Saudi Arabia!

Massive applause, an Earth-shattering response. The Rock lifts his trademark eyebrow over his sunglasses and looks around the arena.

[ The Rock ] The Rock wants to do his job – THE ROCK SAYS DO HIS JOB, MAMA! – and welcome each and every one of you people here and each and every person around the world to Solid Gold Wrestling Blood in the Sand!

Another colossal response. The Rock begins pacing and speaks again.

[ The Rock ] Many months ago, back in the year of the Lord 2020, the Great One was asked to host this monumental event here in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, and being that the Rock is here, standing before you in the magnificent suit he is currently wearing, being that the Rock is here, standing before you with the most magnificent top hat you have ever seen in your entire life –

A huge pop as the fans begin chanting “top hat! Top hat! Top Hat!” and the Rock smiles.

[ The Rock ] OH YEAH! THAT’S RIGHT! YOU CHANT IT! THE ROCK SAYS YOU CHANT TOP HAT FOR ONE STRAIGHT MINUTE OF THIS BROADCAST!

Sure enough, they do as he says. The fans in Jeddah are ecstatic to see The Rock and Solid Gold Wrestling here in their home country.

TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!
TOP HAT!

The fans finally cease their chanting and the Rock continues, a smile on his face.

[ The Rock ] The Rock says thank you! He says thank you to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for hosting Solid Gold Wrestling here tonight! The Rock says thank you to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for all of their most notable offerings to the world – Mark-Paul Gosselaar! Sprite! Post-It Notes! YES! The Rock said Post-It Notes!

A confused pop from Jeddah – they are responsible for none of these things.

[ The Rock ] The Rock says, ‘THANK YOU, SAUDI ARABIA,’ for Post-It Notes! The Rock uses those sticky little sumbitches each and every day of the Rock’s life! He scribbles ‘Don’t forget to feed your cat, Rey Mysterio, named after your best friend Rey Mysterio before you leave the house’ and sticks it onto the mirror in the Rock’s bathroom!

A big pop for the Rock’s cat, Rey Mysterio, but he pushes forward.

[ The Rock ] The Rock writes, ‘Remember to love yourself today!’ and sticks it on the Rock’s rearview mirror to remind himself to show a little self-care in the midst of the Rock’s busy day! The Rock takes this! VERY! PEN!

The Rock produces a silver pen from his jacket pocket and lifts it high into the air.

[ The Rock ] The Rock takes it – pops the button, activating the ink! – and writes upon the Post-It Note a simple reminder for the Rock to wander down to the Walgreens down the street to pick up a box of hefty bags so he can protect his gargantuan dong during sex with Rachel Weiss later tonight! And do you know what?! The Rock remembers to get to the Walgreens, the Rock picks up his box of Hefty Bags, the Rock stretches one of those bastards over his hog, and the Rock lasts through eight and a half minutes of hot, sticky sex with Rachel Weiss, mama!

A big pop for the Rock and his immense penis, but he throws up his hand to stop the momentum.

[ The Rock ] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Saudi Arabia, NO! The Rock knows you’re with me tonight, mama! The Rock knows you heard him – the Rock wants you to know that tonight, right here in Saudi Arabia, we’re in for a night you will never forget! You’ve got must-see matches! You’ve got all the biggest stars in the world of professional wrestling, you’ve got The Rock beatin’ the boogers out of that stupid sonnavabitch Triple H’s massive nose in the Prince Ali Mighty is He Ali Ababwa Strap Match –

A massive reaction for this match, though the Rock rolls on.

[ The Rock ] – and let the Rock give you a spoiler for the night, he’s gonna take…his size twenty-six boot…he’s going to shine it up, real, real nice here in Jeddah – he’s gonna turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up Triple-H’s candy ass!

You know the drill – enormous pop.

[ The Rock ] The Rock is honored to get the chance to knock the dog shit out of the ears of Triple H here in Jeddah, because, you see, the Rock has always had a problem with that Elephant-Trunk-having, Severus-Snape-lookin, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley bangin’ Dumbo Doofus! The Rock wants you to know, Jeddah, and especially you, mama –

The Rock points at a woman in the crowd and rolls on.

[ The Rock ] – that tonight, right here in Jeddah, the Rock is gonna beat the breaks off that silly little bitch, Triple H! The Rock knows that Triple H can hear us out here, so the Rock wants Jeddah to send a message loud and clear to him – let him know we’re talkin’ right to him, so let’s call him by his name, shall we? Triple H, listen up, you sanctimonious son of a bitch – because tonight, as soon as you’re seen in this arena, the Rock will have his one million friends here in Jeddah look you up and down, laugh their tanned asses off, then chant at you until the chickens come home to roost that you, Triple H, are –

He pauses, building tension.

[ The Rock ] A DOOKIE NEWT! CHANT IT!

DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!
DOOKIE NEWT!

Another massive pop overtakes the chanting as the Rock smiles, nodding his head again. He nods through the response and carries on.

[ The Rock ] The Rock wants each and every one of you to buckle up, mama! The Rock asks you to enjoy what you’re going to see tonight, and most of all, the Rock wants you to have fun tonight! The Rock’s hosting Bloody Sand, so the Rock wants us all to have a damn good time right here in Jeddah! Thank you for the opportunity!

A big pop, but the Rock holds his hand up to move on.

[ The Rock ] The Rock was told earlier today that my dear, departed friend, Sir Thomas Cruise was supposed to host the show here tonight, but he is dead.

A flat response. I mean, so silent you could hear a pin drop.

[ The Rock ] The Rock misses his friend a whole lot, but he’s dead. Dead and gone. That box headed son of a bitch killed him, and the Rock expects the police are still hard at work to find him, but this doesn’t change the fact that Tom Cruise is dead. Dead. He’s dead.

No response. The Rock’s very clearly working through something here.

[ The Rock ] But we’re still gonna have fun in Jeddah tonight! Let’s hear it, Jeddah! R-I-P! CHANT IT FOR THOMAS CRUISE!

R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!
R-I-P!

[ The Rock ] That’s right! That’s right! WE LOVE YOU, THOMAS! WE MISS YOU! You were amazing in Forrest Gump, mama! The Rock loves it!

Another bewildering pop for the blatant falsity from the Rock, who rolls on.

[ The Rock ] LET’S HAVE SOME FUN HERE IN JEDDAH TONIGHT! THE ROCK’S GONNA WALK DOWN THIS AISLE IN A MOMENT, THE ROCK’S GONNA STRAP THE EVERLOVIN’ SHIT OUT OF THAT DOOKIE NEWT TRIPLE H! THE ROCK’S GONNA ROLL BACK TO HIS PALACE IN THE SAND AND HAVE RAUCOUS SEX WITH SEVEN SAUDI MODELS – HE’S GONNA WRITE ON POST IT NOTES, HE’S GONNA WATCH SAVED BY THE BELL, THE ROCK’LL DRINK A BIG ASS SPRITE, ELECTRIFY, BLAZE TRAILS, DO IT ALL – IF YA SA’MELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-luh-luh-luh-LUH-la-LAWWWWWWWWW what the ROCK – IS COOKIN’!

“Electrifying” hits the speakers as it’s known to do as the Rock leaps from the ring and thrusts his Top Hat down onto the head of a small child before strolling up the ramp. Eventually, our commentary team speaks up to follow the Rock, an unenviable task.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ladies and gentlemen – what else can be said?

[ Scott Steiner ] I don’t know, how about FUCKIN’ ANYTHING THAT MAKES SENSE?!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Welcome to SGW Blood in the Sand! Welcome…to Saudi Arabia!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, Tony. And we are so deeply honored to be here tonight for a hopefully much more respectful evening of action.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well said, Nigel! And we’ve got a lot of action ready to go here tonight – let’s get right to it!

The commentary team is quiet as the fans pop again for the Rock, who disappears behind the curtain as we fade.

EARLIER TODAY

A black limousine pulls up to the arena and one of the King’s servants exits the driver’s side and rushes to the back driver’s side door. Once he opens the door, Arn Anderson, Steve Corino, Jake Hager, Big Nasty, and Adam Cole exit in dress shirts and slacks, except for Chris Jericho, who exits last wearing his spiked leather jacket and black leather pants.

[ Arn Anderson ] Chris, son, you have to be hotter’n hell in that.

[ Chris Jericho ] What do you mean?

[ Arn Anderson ] I mean, you’re wearing that get-up and it’s damn 110° out here.

Jericho’s jaw drops as the camera pans over to reveal his get-up, which also features a gray scarf and the Intercontinental Championship around his waist.

[ Chris Jericho ] What do you know about dressing like a champion, ARN?! Look at me, huh? Look at me! I’m the Intercontinental Champion, the most prestigious title in this company! I have to dress to set an example!

[ Steve Corino ] God, I wish I had won the belt.

Jericho cocks his eyes in Corino’s direction.

[ Chris Jericho ] Oh, do ya’, STEVE?!

[ Big Nasty ] Why do you scream everyone’s name at the end of your sentences?

[ Chris Jericho ] Why did you get dragged out of the SGW cemetery of obscurity? Quit asking stupid questions, ass face!

Cole steps in.

[ Adam Cole ] Enough.

He has the SGW Championship draped over his right shoulder.

[ Adam Cole ] Why is there even a debate? I just became the TWO-TIME SGW Champion two weeks ago by beating old ass Kevin Nash! That’s another member of the Vegas Connection wiped out by The Origin.. By the LEADER of The Origin.

Cole and Jericho have a brief stare down.

[ Adam Cole ] I have the power with this championship in my possession, so there’s no debate as to who the leader of this group or this company truly is. Because this second reign, it’s going to last forever. I'm going to walk in there and humiliate Jacob Fatu and prove that there's nobody in this company on my level.

[ Steve Corino ] Well, I mean, I think we'd have a pretty good match.

Jericho and Cole both look over to Steve with venom.

[ Adam Cole and Chris Jericho ] SHUT UP, STEVE!

Corino takes a step back with his hands up. Jericho shakes his head and turns his attention back to Cole and the SGW Championship, giving it a stare before locking eyes with Cole.

[ Chris Jericho ] Nice belt, Cole. You got beat by a crippled fossil to lose it and then turned around and beat a crippled fossil to get it back while I beat a hundred of the most elite men in SGW for mine! Plus, my title’s lineage doesn’t have Val Venis or Christian in it! Oldest belt in SGW, best wrestler alive holding it. That’s where the power lies.

Cole just lets Chris have his way.

[ Adam Cole ] Keep telling yourself that, Chris.

Cole pats Jericho’s arm and walks away. Arn, Corino, and Big Nasty follow, which leaves Jericho and Hager behind.

[ Chris Jericho ] I hate him, Jake.

Hager nods.

[ Jake Hager ] Same.

Jericho lets the exchange with his Origin teammates roll off of him like water on a duck's back. He cracks a big smile and speaks to no one in particular.

[ Chris Jericho ] But dammit, I love being the leader of The Origin.

The camera gives us a close shot of a defiant Jericho watching the rest of The Origin walk into the arena as the scene fades.

Referee - Rick Knox | Time Limit - 60:00

Jeddah is electric, practically rumbling sheer energy from their massive grouping as Adam Cole and Jacob Fatu glare across the ring at one another. Cole’s cool, calm demeanor is a stark contrast from Fatu’s frantic energy, seemingly only held within by his thick, tanned skin and vibrating him like the massive group of people surrounding them in the arena.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What atmosphere! This should be one of the finest championship matches we’ve ever seen – the winner of the Gold Rush IV Gold in Tokyo against the two-time SGW World Heavyweight Champion!

[ Scott Steiner ] Fatu is a bad mother fucker – I’m pickin’ him to beat Cole’s ass!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I wouldn’t be so quick to count out the champion, Scott.

[ Scott Steiner ] WELL I FUCKIN’ AM!

Rick Knox calls for the bell – and Fatu storms ahead, a flash of humanity charging across the ring with a clothesline cocked at Cole – but Cole ducks! Fatu deadstops and turns to face the champion, and eats a superkick for his trouble! Fatu shakes it off and screams in Cole’s face! SUPERKICK AGAIN! COLE FIRES ANOTHER ONE!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Lord God Almighty, we’re off!

Fatu stumbles, but rushes again towards Cole, who stops him dead in his tracks with another superkick! AND A FOURTH! Fatu stumbles on his feet as Samael begins screaming instruction, demanding that the Samoan Werewolf come to – but Cole latches his arms around Fatu’s beefy frame, trapping his arms and lifting him overhead into a sickening Panama Keys Suplex! Cole maintains the cover – ONE! TWO! NO!

[ Scott Steiner ] HELL YEAH!

FATU KICKS OUT! Cole’s eyes go wide, then a snarl forms across his face as he pushes off the mat, looking at his opponent, who is joining him – and fires a superkick again! RIGHT to the face! Cole maneuvers to Fatu’s head and throws his knee up with a sickening lift into the Samoan Werewolf’s nose! Cole staggers him backwards, then lifts him into a suplex – and drops him down onto his knee!

[ Tony Schiavone ] WHAT IMPACT! THAT WAS DISGUSTING!

The Champion is already up, charging off the ropes – annnnd LAST SHOT! Right to the back of the head! Cole shakes his head back and forth, lifting Fatu into a seated position before running off the far ropes again and PLOWING through him with a second Last Shot! He lays his body across Fatu’s, hooking the left leg as Rick Knox counts – one! Two! Three!

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION
ADAM COLE via PINFALL in 01:52

The bell rings and “End of the Revolution” blares across the speakers as Adam Cole slumps off of the beastly body of Jacob Fatu and sits up, a sick grin forming across his face.

[ Tony Schiavone ] I cannot believe he’s done this!

[ Scott Steiner ] This is unbelievable! This stupid, skinny bastard beat Fatu?! What the fuck is he made of?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Allow me to tell you, gentlemen.

As Nigel prepares to enlighten his fellow commentators, Cole rolls across the ring and waves his hands towards himself, beckoning for Knox to bring him his championship. As he receives it, he scoots from the ring and starts up the ramp, eyes locked on the beautiful SGW World Heavyweight Championship belt.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] He’s made of sheer tenacity, Scott. He’s made of a drive that pushes him to be the very best professional wrestler Solid Gold Wrestling has ever seen! And Tony – you can’t believe it? ‘Why,’ I ask. Why, Tony? Adam Cole has faced few opponents in this promotion who are even close to his level and now, he’s more driven, more determined, more willing to do anything it takes – even if that is running straight through opponents – to show you this is the case. Sure, Cole CAN go thirty minutes, and sure, Adam Cole could go an hour in the ring – but he is the SGW World Heavyweight Champion…and he just proved he can run through a world-class opponent in two minutes flat.

The commentary table is silent as Cole reaches the stage, then turns towards the ring to see Jacob Fatu coming to, Josef Samael shocked beside him in the ring. A grin forms across Cole’s face as he fastens the championship around his waist, then bends, throwing his fingers high into the air as he screams, accompanied by 100,000 strong:

“ADAM COLE, BAY BAY!”

Fade.

Triple H and Shawn Michaels appear as the camera switches to a random part of the backstage area. Triple H is drenched in water and pours even more of it into his mouth. Michaels is in jeans and a SGW t-shirt.

[ Triple H ] Tonight, I face The Rock in front of the King of Saudi Arabia. This match was specifically requested. One should feel honored, right?

[ Shawn Michaels ] Well, he is royalty after all.

[ Triple H ] Heh, royalty.

Triple H twists the cap back onto his bottle of water.

[ Triple H ] It’s funny. You see, all of these people are bowing to the King out of fear and respect, but they’re doing it to the wrong king.

He smirks.

[ Triple H ] He might be the King of Saudi Arabia, but you’re lookin’ right here at the KING OF KINGS! You are lookin’ at The Game! You are lookin’ at the man who’s going to teach The Rock a lesson in that strap match tonight! You are lookin’ at the TRUE King.

Shawn Michaels rubs his forearms and shakes his body.

[ Shawn Michaels ] Friggin’ goosebumps.

[ Triple H ] Facts are facts.

[ Shawn Michaels ] Yeah, but still.

Danhausen pops up out of a nearby trash can and dusts himself off. Michaels is so confused at what’s in front of him.

[ Triple H ] God. You again?

[ Danhausen ] Hello humans! I’m Danhausen, fellow member of the Limitless Five!

[ Shawn Michaels ] What in the world are you?

Danhausen doesn’t skip a beat.

[ Danhausen ] I’m Danhausen! Very nice.. Very evil!

[ Triple H ] Look, idiot, don’t you remember the last time our paths crossed?

[ Danhausen ] Ah, yes! Danhausen remembers when he invited you to join the Intercontinental Championship Gold Rush and you gave Danhausen the Pedigree on the floor!

Triple H smirks and nods.

[ Shawn Michaels ] Hunter, really?

[ Triple H ] Yeah. I did that.

Triple H then slaps Danhausen on the shoulder.

[ Triple H ] Don’t worry. I won’t do that again.

[ Danhausen ] Good! Danhausen is your friend and your Limitless Five teammate! He wishes you good luckhausen against Rock “Dewayne” Johnson!

[ Shawn Michaels ] Against who?

[ Danhausen ] Rock “Dewayne” Johnson! You know, the movie starhausen! Do you smell what The Dewayne is cooking in the kitchen?!

Triple H looks to Shawn and back to Danhausen.

[ Triple H ] Thanks, kid.

Triple H pushes Danhausen with all of his might, sending the very nice, but very evil demon flying backwards, flipping over the garbage can and falling inside! Triple H looks down in the trash can and rolls his eyes as he and Shawn walk out of the view of the camera. Danhausen struggles to get out of the trash can as the scene fades.

Backstage, Cody Rhodes is standing in front of a SGW-logo backdrop. Cody is wearing a baby blue suit jacket and canary yellow pants with a white dress shirt. He has to be smothering to death with the weather in Saudi. He’s without Brandi tonight, for obvious reasons, but he’s noticeably focused on other things.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Two weeks ago was supposed to be the beginning of the best stretch in my SGW career. I was supposed to win the Gold Rush match and then tonight, damn.. Tonight was going to be special. It was going to be the payoff to all of my hard work.

Cody shakes his head.

[ Cody Rhodes ] I was supposed to be the one fighting Adam Cole for the SGW Championship. I have set my crosshairs on that title since Supremacy and all of this was supposed to culminate to me finally getting my championship shot.

The camera zooms in as Cody remains stoic.

[ Cody Rhodes ] But those are the brakes. You have to roll with the punches and tonight, I’m going to win the Most Excellent Bigger WrestleBrawl match.. Or whatever stupid name that it’s called. The name of it doesn’t matter, the outcome does.

Pause.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Two weeks ago was not the end of Cody Rhodes’ story in SGW. It was a bump in the road. It’s time to rise above the adversity and prove why I am simply the best SGW has to offer.

Even perturbed, he’s still confident.

[ Cody Rhodes ] You’re looking at the man who’s going to win Body Count with or without the title on the line. I have been denied my seat on the throne time and time again, but beware, the time for that is running short. Soon enough, the prince will become the king.

The scene fades to black.

Referee - Mike Chioda | Time Limit - 30:00

Mike Chioda is assigned the difficult task of maintaining order in this unique affair. He fastens the leather strap on Triple H's wrist and then walks over and hooks it on The Rock's. The Saudi fans aren't sure at what they're about to witness, but they're chanting loudly for two of the biggest stars in the history of the business.

[ Tony Schiavone ] It is time for the marquee match of the night!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Are.. Are ya' sure about that, Tony?

[ Scott Steiner ] THIS is the fuckin' match these people came to see? Fuck my life! Close this company down and sell the ring for spare change!

The bell sounds and Triple H meets The Rock in the middle of the ring and begins talking trash. Rock responds with a big right hand, sending The Game to the mat! Triple H rolls out of the ring and The Rock begins slapping the turnbuckle pads one after another.

[ Tony Schiavone ] The Rock could win it with ease right here! I don't think Triple H understands the rules of a strap match to where you win by touching all four corners.

[ Scott Steiner ] As if that fucker The Rock knows what planet he's on let alone the rules of this match!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I.. I think you may be correct there, Scotty.

The Rock goes to slap the fourth and final turnbuckle and stops dead in his tracks, raises the People's Eyebrow, and wags his finger to the crowd. He exits the ring and grabs Triple H. Triple H pushes Rock back and hits a stiff right punch. Triple H charges and The Rock hits a back body drop, sending Triple H landing hard on the concrete! The Rock slaps his hands together and confidently walks over to the announce table, snatching the headset off Nigel's head.

[ The Rock ] WHAT DOES THE ROCK HAVE HERE! SAUDIIIIIIIIIIII! IT'S HOT AS HELL AND ILLEGAL TO BE A WOMAN, SO IT'S A DAMN GOOD THING THE ROCK IS AS MUCH OF A MAN AS IT GETS, MAMA!

[ Scott Steiner ] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING?!

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK SAYS THIS! THE ROCK SAYS HE'S TIRED OF THE 'SLAP THE TURNBUCKLE' NONSENSE! NAH! THE ROCK AIN'T PLAYIN' THAT! TOO EASY! THE ROCK NEEDS A CHALLENGE AFTER CARRYING TRIPLE H'S CANDY ASS THIS ENTIRE MATCH!

[ Scott Steiner ] THE MATCH HAS BEEN GOIN' ON FOR TWO MINUTES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK SAYS AS THE POWER INVESTED IN HIM AS THE HOST, THIS STRAP MATCH IS NOW A PIN FALL MATCH! IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!

[ Scott Steiner ] KILL YOURSELF!

[ The Rock ] WATCH THE ROCK THROW TRIPLE H'S MONKEY ASS IN THAT RING AND PIN 'EM AFTER A ROCK BOTTOM!

The Rock rips off the headset and shoves it in Nigel's chest. He walks over and tosses Triple H into the ring. The Rock then rips off his leather strap and slaps his chest. Triple H gets up and kicks The Rock in the chest, PEDIGREE! The Rock is OUT! Triple H covers and Chioda shrugs his shoulders, giving the hell up on this match and potentially life itself. Too early to tell. He counts - one, two, kick out! Triple H argues with the referee, giving Rock time to recover.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well, The Rock lied to our faces! He didn't pin Triple H with the Rock Bottom!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Why are you takin' it so personal?

The Rock is back up and Triple H spins around, ROCK BOTTOM!

[ Tony Schiavone ] THERE IT IS!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Ah yes, The Rock, the soothsayer.

The Rock collapses on top of Triple H for the cover. Chioda bends down and counts - One.. two.. three! The Rock has won the strap match by pinfall because this is 2020.

WINNER
THE ROCK via PINFALL(?) in 04:01

[ Tony Schiavone ] 2020 is The Rock's world and we're all just living in it!

[ Scott Steiner ] What an idiotic moment in SGW history.

Steiner sighs deeply into his microphone.

[ Scott Steiner ] And I was here for 'em all. God damn.

The Rock climbs to the middle turnbuckle and raises his arm in the air as red, white, and blue fireworks explode in the background. The host of Blood in the Sand gets the winner's celebration in style as the Saudi fans in attendance cheer loudly. The Rock wins in easy fashion, although it helps when you change the rules of the match completely on the fly.

CM Punk and Dustin Rhodes are both in the locker room lacing up their boots for their match tonight. Punk is in a t-shirt and his ring gear while Dustin is fully painted up and looking ready to go.

[ Frankie Kazarian ] ALRIGHT YOU SONS OF BITCHES, LISTEN UP!

[ CM Punk ] Try that again.

Kazarian comes more into view and clears his throat as Punk and Dustin are looking up.

[ Frankie Kazarian ] Alright guys, here comes the leader of the Fallen Five and he’s got some shit to say!

Punk and Dustin look at one another and roll their eyes.

[ CM Punk ] Can’t wait for this.

Christopher Daniels walks into the scene with his arms behind his back and his chest puffed out.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Gentlemen, thank you for joining me.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] Joining? We were literally here trying our boots!

[ Christopher Daniels ] Details are irrelevant, Dustin.

Daniels marches side to side in front of the two as Kazarian looks on from the side.

[ Christopher Daniels ] You all know what’s facing us tonight in the WrestleBrawl match, and as the man who PINNED CODY RHODES AND ELIMINATED HIM, it’s only fair that I win the WrestleBrawl match tonight!

[ Dustin Rhodes ] What does pinning Cody have to do with anything?

[ Christopher Daniels ] Save your questions until the end, Dust.

Kazarian shakes his head.

[ CM Punk ] Yeah Dustin, can’t you tell, this guy has something to say.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] Dear God.

Daniels shrugs them off and continues.

[ Christopher Daniels ] And to win this match tonight and outlast sixty men, you two have to join in on the cause and help ensure that I am the last man standing.

Dustin chuckles as Punk looks on trying to decide whether to admire or admonish Daniels’ complete lack of awareness.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] You want us to help you?

[ CM Punk ] And sacrifice ourselves for you?

[ Christopher Daniels ] Exactly.

Daniels sticks to his guns.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Because I’m your leader and I call the shots! And I’m demanding you two to help me win this match!

[ Dustin Rhodes ] Is that right? Hear that Punk? He’s demanding.

Punk puts the finishing touches on his boots and slides his kick pads over them. He stands up and looks Daniels in the face.

[ CM Punk ] Good luck out there, Chris.

Dustin is next to stand up and approach Daniels.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] You’re crazy as hell if you think I’m sacrificing myself for you. I don’t want to be on this team and I don’t throw matches.

He snarls.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] Especially for ‘leaders’ I don’t respect.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Hey! I picked you fair and square, buddy! You're a member of the Fallen Five whether you like it or not and you'll do as I say! I am the Full Tilt Boogie Champion! I run this joint!

[ Dustin Rhodes ] Listen to the damn words comin' from you mouth. You're a clown.

Dustin bumps Daniels’ shoulder and walks out. Kazarian walks up to Daniels.

[ Frankie Kazarian ] Well, I think that went well.

[ Christopher Daniels ] They’ll come around.

[ Frankie Kazarian ] Idiots.

The scene fades.

Prince Devitt, The Miz, and “Hangman” Adam Page are backstage. The Miz anxiously looks at his watch over and over as Hangman is satisfied with a pitcher of beer.

[ The Miz ] Where is he?

[ Prince Devitt ] Who? Cabana?

[ The Miz ] What? No! I don’t care where Colt Cabana is. Besides, we know why he isn’t here.

Hangman chimes in.

[ Hangman Page ] Because he’s Jewish?

Hangman, Devitt, and Miz all look into the camera and then back to one another.

[ The Miz ] It’s not politically correct but facts are facts. Also a fact, as Team Captain, I made a roster move.

[ Prince Devitt ] Team Captain?

[ The Miz ] Uh, yeah. You heard me, Fergie. Team. Captain.

[ Hangman Page ] Since you guys have spent a month arguing about it, can I be a Team Captain, too? Like, maybe all of us can be one? Uniformity and stuff.

Devitt shakes his head.

[ Prince Devitt ] There can only be one captain and you’re lookin’ at ‘em.

[ The Miz ] Then why am I shuffling our team’s roster?

The door to the locker room opens as Cameron Grimes walks in.

[ The Miz ] THERE HE IS!

The Miz, having no idea who Cameron Grimes is, swings his arm around his shoulders.

[ The Miz ] Here’s the newest member of Team Miz, Cameron Grimes!

[ Prince Devitt ] Who did he replace?

[ The Miz ] Whoever the hell Dominik Dijakovic was. No idea. Some random loser.

Grimes has an uneasy feeling about all of this, but does his best to put on a brave face.

[ Cameron Grimes ] Happy to be here… I think.

Miz flashes a million dollar smile in response to Grimes' comment.

[ The Miz ] Look Cam, here’s the deal. We all hate Colt Cabana. He’s a fraudulent captain and I’ve replaced him in order to lead this team to victory. I made power moves in getting rid of that no-name guy and bringing you in. I'm in it to win it. I don't care about nose sizes or comedy bull crap like Cabana. He's an idiot!

[ Cameron Grimes ] What’s wrong with Colt?

[ Prince Devitt ] He’s an authority figure on Shock. He doesn’t win enough to lead this team to victory like I will. It’s in your best interest to turn against him, too.

Hangman shrugs.

[ Hangman Page ] Don’t look at me. I’m just here, brother.

Hangman goes back to sipping his beer as Grimes nods.

[ Cameron Grimes ] Well, this is a weird spot to be in..

He shrugs.

[ Cameron Grimes ] Screw it. I’ve not met the guy but I support getting rid of him because I’m here to win, baby!

[ The Miz ] Now that’s the spirit! If Colt Cabana cared about this team, he’d be in Saudi Arabia but he isn’t and he doesn’t!

[ Hangman Page ] Well, I mean, I don’t think he was able to.

Devitt snaps back at Hangman.

[ Prince Devitt ] Enough.

Devitt snaps the collar on his leather jacket.

[ Prince Devitt ] Colt Cabana is in fa’ one helluva surprise.

The Miz nods in agreement, still with his arm around Cameron Grimes. Hangman looks on, realizing the coup is beyond his control and there’s nothing he can do about it. A Team nose mutiny has formed without the captain anywhere around!

Kevin Steen wanders down a hallway with an irritated look on his face. He swings open every door he passes and looks in, only to slam it behind him.

[ Kevin Steen ] Where the fuck is this idiot?

Steen walks up to Los Ice Creams, slapping a bottle of water out of Ice Cream Jr.’s hand.

[ Kevin Steen ] Have you seen my idiot partner? Pasty skin, shitty ring gear, stupid mask?

Steen smirks as he looks at the Ice Creams in front of him.

[ Kevin Steen ] Kind of like you guys.

[ El Hijo del Ice Cream ] Que?

[ Kevin Steen ] But shittier.

[ Ice Cream Jr. ] El Generico is very nice!

Steen spits in Ice Cream Jr.’s face and walks away.

[ Kevin Steen ] WHERE ARE YOU, GENERICO?!

Steen looks inside of a trash can and then puts the lid back on top of it. He rounds a corner and sees The Briscoe Brothers and Beer Money gathered around a poker table, drinking beer and playing cards.

[ Kevin Steen ] What is this? The Redneck Convention?

[ Jay Briscoe ] What’d you say, fat ass?

[ James Storm ] We’re just havin’ some beer, Kev. Looks like you could use one yourself.

[ Mark Briscoe ] You look stressed as hell, boah!

Steen runs his hands down his face.

[ Kevin Steen ] I am looking for my dumb ass partner while enemies are sitting around drinking beer in Saudi Arabia. Unbelievable.

[ Robert Roode ] Just because we’re on different Body Count teams doesn’t mean we all can share a beer.

Storm reaches into the cooler by his side and then offers Steen a beer.

[ James Storm ] Here, son, have a drink with us.

[ Kevin Steen ] I’d rather shit in my hands and clap.

Steen’s response draws cringes from everyone at the table.

[ Jay Briscoe ] Nasty as fuck, man.

[ Mark Briscoe ] Mane, go on and poop in ya’ own hands and keep it away from me, ya’ hear? Freakin’ nasty.

Storm takes a swig of his beer.

[ James Storm ] Yeah brother, that’s kind of disgusting to suggest, even in a hyperbolic nature.

[ Kevin Steen ] How in the world do you know what ‘hyperbolic’ means?

[ James Storm ] It’s a common word, right?

[ Robert Roode ] No wonder Generico is hiding from you. You should be nicer to him.

[ Jay Briscoe ] Generico is funny as hell, y’all!

[ Kevin Steen ] He doesn’t speak English.

[ Jay Briscoe ] So? It’s like watchin’ someone play Charades when he’s around. Hilarious shit.

[ Kevin Steen ] Hilarious, huh? You know what else is hilarious?

Steen walks up and flips their table over, sending beer bottles flying everywhere, spilling beer on the four men!

[ Robert Roode ] What the hell, Steen?!

Steen picks up a fallen bottle and slams it against the ground, shattering it into a million pieces.

[ Kevin Steen ] All of you can go fuck yourselves!

Steen storms off as the camera follows closely behind him. He stops dead in his tracks and looks behind a nearby vending machine.

[ Kevin Steen ] Get out.

Steen has no patience for whomever he’s speaking to.

[ Kevin Steen ] SHOW YOUR FACE, IDIOT!

From behind the vending machine, El Generico, head slumped and shoulders dropped, comes walking out. Steen slaps him across the face.

[ Kevin Steen ] DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU, GENERICO?!

[ El Generico ] No like it here!

[ Kevin Steen ] Nobody does. We’re in a brutal country where they chop people’s heads off without a second thought.

Generico’s eyes go wide.

[ El Generico ] No safe here! I must go!

Generico tries to dart off but Steen grabs him by the back of the mask, pulling on the white tassels.

[ Kevin Steen ] Where do you think you’re going?

[ El Generico ] I, uh.. No safe! No bueno! Adios!

[ Kevin Steen ] You listen here you pasty piece of shit. You’re not going anywhere until you help me win the battle royal tonight, you got me? You’re a Mexican luchadore. You’re as at risk as anyone else. So shut the FUCK up and get over it. Comprende?

Generico pouts and looks down at his feet.

[ El Generico ] Si.

[ Kevin Steen ] Good. Now justify your existence and go get ready and quit being a dumb ass.

Generico walks away against his better judgment. He looks terrified without being able to explain why. Steen shakes his head in disgust as his partner vanishes down the hallway.

Referee - Rick Knox | Time Limit - 30:00

Despite it being both men’s first trip to the Kingdom of Saudi, the fans in Jeddah are electric for both Stone Cold Steve Austin and Chavo Guerrero Jr., cheering them both through their entrances, introductions, and in the early going of the match. The invested crowd watch on as the two men stare the other down – certainly no strangers to one another, but still preparing for their first ever one-on-one collision in the squared circle.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ladies and gentlemen, this is truly a matchup we have dreamed about for years and years – a collision of two former SGW World Heavyweight Champions! A collision of two SGW Hall of Famers! Fans, this is going to be an absolute dream to call as ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin squares off with SGW Championship Committee Member Chavo Guerrero Jr.!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is correct, Tony. And our deepest thanks to his royal highness for signing the decree to make this match legal and give us this opportunity to see these legends collide.

[ Tony Schiavone ] …you alright, buddy? You’re being strange.

Austin and Guerrero meet in center-ring, tying up in the classic collar-and-elbow formation, but Guerrero quickly takes control, manipulating Austin’s elbow to slip underneath his left arm into a hammerlock – then floats around and over into a side headlock! Stone Cold pushes Chavo into the ropes and off – and Chavo’s off the ropes, but Austin tackles him over! Chavo’s on his back and Austin takes off, hitting the ropes – Chavo crosses over, but Austin’s up and over the block! – Chavo shoots up to meet Stone Cold in center ring – but there’s Austin with the Lou Thesz Press!

[ Scott Steiner ] THESZ PRESS!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Austin! Austin here! He’s raining down fists into Chavito’s face – and that’s one way to be introduced to the first-hand effects of a match against a talent the caliber of Stone Cold Steve Austin!

[ Scott Steiner ] Hell yeah – and I’m glad Austin ain’t pussyfootin’ around – this may be some exhibition shit, this may not be these two in their damn prime – but they wanna win, simple as that! They should be punchin’ each other in the damn face! Whatever it takes!

Referee Rick Knox gets to four in his disqualification count for Austin to cease the closed fist ground-and-pound, allowing Stone Cold to stand and pull Chavo up with him. Austin looks for a body slam – but Chavo’s off his shoulder and pushes Stone Cold into the ropes, then greets him with a beautiful dropkick to the mush!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Beautiful dropkick from Chavo.

[ Scott Steiner ] I don’t think it’s desperations, either – looks like Chavo is having everything go his way here tonight! Maybe he takes some licks, but he’s willin’ to do that ta’give some back to that bald bastard!

Chavo wisely targets Stone Cold’s knee, applying a grapevine leg lock to weaken the joint, pounding Austin’s heavy brace with the blunt side of his closed fist for added chip damage. Eventually, Chavo sees the benefit in releasing the hold and instead takes to the apron, launching himself up and over the ropes with a slingshot senton – covering for a one count!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Chavo, Scott, is using his advantages rather than trying to punch and brawl with Stone Cold Steve Austin – it’s a wise strategy to use your advantages than to look for an opportunity to excel over your opponent in a contest they may be at an advantage in!

Austin recovers and catches Chavo off the second rope with a big spinebuster, leveling the Championship Committee member! Not letting his legendary opponent rest, Austin hits the ropes and flashes a few middle fingers for Chavito before dropping the point of his elbow down into Guerrero! Cover! Austin gets the one! Two! NO!!

[ Scott Steiner ] These sons of bitches are really goin’ for it! My begrudgen respect for both their asses!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It’s respect! They want the respect of the other, as this is likely to be their only one-on-one contest in their long, storied careers!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] And, of course, to give the King a proper match to enjoy. It’s for their enjoyment here in the lovely and wonderful Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

As Referee Rick Knox signals it was only a two, Austin mouths off at both the official and his opponent as he lifts Chavo from the mat and punches him in the face! And again! And again! Austin hurls Chavo into the ropes and throws a clothesline – but Chavo ducks and grips Austin in a waistlock – and drives! O’Connor Roll! Chavo’s got him covered! One! Two! NO!!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY! Chavo Guerrero nearly picked up the victory there with the rollup! Imagine the reaction if he’d won!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Chavo’s got technique in his blood, and he’s got style in spades. *clears throat* This is a pivotal moment for Steve Austin to rebound from, or else lose the match.

Both Austin and Chavo push off the canvas and charge one another – double clothesline! Both men are up and Chavo hooks for an armdrag, but Austin rolls through and brings Chavo across the mat, hooking the leg and falling across for a pinfall! The Jeddah crowd roars – one! Two! NO! Chavo’s kicked out again!

Austin is up – GUT KICK! WHAM! Stunn—NO! NO! Chavo pushes Austin off into the ropes and CLATTERS him with an enzuigiri! Austin’s on wobbly legs and Chavo hooks him in the front facelook, lifts him – and –

[ Nigel McGuinness ] BRAINBUSTAHHH!! CHAVO! COVER HIM!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh, there you are, Nigel!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] *clears his throat* Excuse me. Brainbuster. Proper nice maneuver.

Chavo army crawls across the mat and drapes his arm across Austin – and covers! ONE! TWO! THR—

WAIT!

It’s Adam Cole!

Cole grabs Knox by the foot to distract him and the official is up to reprimand the SGW World Heavyweight Champion!

[ Tony Schiavone ] ADAM COLE?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT MOTHER FUCKER!

Cole continues holding Knox as Chavo and Austin begin recovering on the mat – and Stone Cold sees Adam Cole and charges – but COLE PULLS KNOX INTO HIS PATH!

[ Tony Schiavone ] DAMMIT! NO!

Stone Cold collides with Knox then falls backwards into Chavo and they’re both down! On the floor, the SGW World Heavyweight Champion acts quickly, sliding into the ring and beckoning Cole up, screaming at him to ‘get the fuck up!’

[ Scott Steiner ] You don’t want this smoke, you fuckin’ bastard!

Stone Cold is up and sees Cole – then flips him the double birds! Jeddah pops huge – but Cole doesn’t like it as much and fires a superkick, clattering Austin in the face! The Heavyweight Champion Cole leaps from the ring, satisfied with his work, and takes a position on the floor, watching intently as a smile cracks across his face.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Dammit! No! No! This isn’t right!

Chavo eventually recovers enough to shake loose the cobwebs and notice Austin down on the canvas. Looking up to the top rope, then to the fans in Jeddah, Guerrero realizes this is an opportunity to finish the match – and he staggers to the corner!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Guerrero could be looking to finish it here, gentlemen.

Chavo finds his balance on the top rope – and soars! – with a beautiful frog splash! COVER! Knox makes the feeble count – ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNER
CHAVO GUERRERO, JR. via PINFALL in 9:19

Even after registering the pinfall, Guerrero is down on the canvas beside Austin, neither man moving as the fans begin to swell with boos.

[ Scott Steiner ] MOTHER FUCK! THAT COLE SON OF A BITCH CONTINUES TO PISS ME RIGHT THE FUCK OFF!

As the bell rings, Jeddah is livid with Adam Cole’s interference and are booing the SGW World Heavyweight Champion with every ounce of piss and vinegar they can muster. Cole’s rancid grin tells the entire story – and to say he’s pleased with himself would be a downright under-telling of the moment, as Adam Cole looks orgasmically pleasured with himself as he peers through the ropes into the ring at Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[ Tony Schiavone ] I cannot believe it! I simply cannot believe the…the…the unmitigated gall!! Of this…this…this-this-this…MONSTER! This…cheat! This…

[ Scott Steiner ] FUCKIN’ ASSHOLE!

[ Tony Schiavone ] – yes, Scott, thank you! Adam Cole! How dare he stick his nose into this match – into these men’s business! This match has years of history behind it and these gladiators were pouring their very souls like paint onto the canvas for this rabid crowd in Jeddah!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Adam Cole did as he always does – and made it all about himself, Tony. He took the simplistic, pure, moment these two have crafted by being themselves and by colliding here – and he made it all about himself!

As Austin and Chavo lay on the mat, still worn from the smash-mouth encounter of legends, Cole slowly leaps onto his knee on the apron of the ring and gazes through the ropes, poking his head through the ropes before leaning into the ring and standing up, over Austin, focusing all of his attention towards the man he has fought tooth-and-nail against for the better part of the calendar year – and grinning, ear-to-ear.

[ Tony Schiavone ] He’s talented, yes! He’s made history by being a two-time champion, nobody can deny that – but this young man, Adam Cole, is absolutely despicable! It makes me sick to my stomach and that’s that!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Oh, no!

The Jeddah crowd is absolutely roaring as Chavo, muscles twitching and sweat dripping from his forehead, stands and looks at Cole, seething with fury. As he looks around for confirmation from the audience, their raucous cheering gives Guerrero all the response he needs – and Chavo wheels Cole around and lights him up with a huge right hand! And another! A third! And another! Jeddah is roaring with each consecutive right-hand which pops Cole’s hair back and forth! Chavo whirls back and fires another, but Cole ducks it!

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO! Oh, no!

Cole fires off a superkick – but Chavo catches it and spins him around – into Stone Cold, who plants the Champion with the Stone Cold Stunner! Cole bounces off the canvas and up – into Chavo’s grasp, lifting him up from a facelock before DRIVING HIM HEADFIRST into the mat!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Chavo with the brainbustah!!

Cole rattles off the mat and somehow, his momentum pushes him through the ropes and to the floor in a heap as the Jeddah fans explode with energy. Chavo turns back into the ring and goes face to face with Stone Cold himself as the Saudi fans burst into a symphony of shouts.

[ Scott Steiner ] YEAH! FUCK YOU, COLE! FUCK YOU!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Now that Cole’s out of the way – let’s see what happens that the legends have the spotlight they deserve!

Austin, breathing heavily as sweat drips down his head, scoffs at Cole before shaking his head, frustrated at the situation. Chavo, just as sweating and tired as his opponent, nods, somehow accepting that the moment has come and gone as the two men lock eyes again and Jeddah pops, excited for whatever is to come.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It looks like Stone Cold is taking Cole’s interruption pretty hard. I cannot blame him, as this is a deep insult to his royal highness and a waste of his time.

[ Scott Steiner ] PAH!

Swearing under his breath, Austin offers his hand to Chavo as the crowd roar in support – and Chavo accepts it, shaking Stone Cold’s hand.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What a show of respect from these two veterans – these SGW legends! What a moment right here in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia!

Austin beckons for a few frosty Steveweisers and receives them, tossing two to Chavo before cracking his own open and toasting Guerrero as the fans in the arena cheer voraciously. Stone Cold and Chavo each down a beer, then Austin summons another one and climbs to the second rope, now offering cheers to the fans and smashing the cans together, pouring them down his throat as fireworks explode around the top of the open-air arena.

Fade.

AJ Styles struts backstage in his entrance jacket and ring gear. He looks around the interview set and puts his hand on top of his eyes to ‘better’ his view as he surveys the scene.

[ AJ Styles ] Where’s everyone at? I need to get interviewed.

Then it hits him.

[ AJ Styles ] Oh shoot, that’s right. The injustice of Saudi Arabia still exists and women ain’t welcomed here! Guess what, guys, women are the future of the world! So hey, you ol’ Saudi bums better get with the times!

AJ pounds his fist into his open palm, frustrated by the injustice.

[ AJ Styles ] So you know what’s gonna’ happen tonight? I’m gonna’ win that battle royal! Yeah! “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles is gonna’ go down to that ring, eliminate fifty-nine other people and I’m gonna’ free that Saudi Princess from this tyranny!

Dolph Ziggler emerges with an American flag bandana around his neck, an unzipped Kent State Wrestling jacket and his ring gear.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] AJ, man, you’re just too pure for this world.

AJ looks miffed at Ziggler for interrupting.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Here you are all Hogan-like, fighting for the rights of every woman when you should be more worried about the Most Excellent WrestleBrawl match. Because you’re not going to win it.

Ziggler pulls sunglasses from his jacket pocket, puts them on, and then quickly yanks them off in dramatic fashion.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] I am!

[ AJ Styles ] Did you just put those glasses on only to remove them to prove a point?

[ Dolph Ziggler ] It’s sports entertainment, baby.

[ AJ Styles ] Dolph, man, you’re a great wrestler, but you ain’t AJ Styles.

He continues.

[ AJ Styles ] I know I just joined Shock and all, but tonight, I’m gonna’ prove that I can beat anyone, anywhere, and at any time.

Styles pokes Ziggler’s chest.

[ AJ Styles ] Including you.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Yeah. You just joined Shock, a place that I dominate every time I appear! I’m also a Team Captain for Body Count while you’re an afterthought. I’ve done more in SGW than you EVER will, buddy.

He cracks a big smile.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Including winning the battle royal tonight. I’m not going to marry the Princess, though. I don’t believe in that.

[ AJ Styles ] What, a dictator forcing his daughter to marry a stranger?

Ziggler shakes his head.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Nah. Marriage in general.

He shrugs.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] I don’t get the appeal.

[ AJ Styles ] What the heck is wrong with you? You can’t be real.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] You’re not real, man.

Styles’ face reeks of confusion.

[ AJ Styles ] What?

Chuck Taylor, Trent Beretta, and Orange Cassidy walk into the scene.

[ Trent Beretta ] Guys, what’s going on?

[ Chuck Taylor ] We were in catering and heard arguing.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] You guys left catering for this?

[ Chuck Taylor ] Eh, the food sucks anyway.

Trent nods in agreement.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] But no. There’s no argument here. Just facts. AJ thinks he’s winning the WrestleBrawl match tonight when it’s so obvious he isn’t.

[ Orange Cassidy ] ..Because I’m winning it.

All eyes are now on Orange Cassidy, who remains comatose after speaking. After a few seconds of dead silence, Orange lifts his limp hand up and forces part of a thumbs up.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Anyway.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Yeah, anyway.

[ Trent Beretta ] Hug it out.

[ AJ Styles ] What?

Trent remains committed.

[ Trent Beretta ] Hug it out, bitch.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Do it.

[ AJ Styles ] I don’t get it.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Anytime two grown men disagree, you have two options: fight it out or hug it out. And since we’re about to be in the WrestleBrawl match thing, it doesn’t leave a lot of room to fight it out. So Dolph, AJ, hug it out.

Chuck pushes AJ closer to Dolph as Trent extends Dolph’s arms out to his side.

[ Trent Beretta ] Then kiss.

He knows he made a mistake.

[ Trent Beretta ] Too far. I knew it when I said it. A hug is fine.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Hugging leads to kissing so it’s fine. It’s fine.

AJ pushes back.

[ AJ Styles ] Man, I ain’t freaking kissing or hugging nobody! I’m gonna’ go get ready for the match that I’m gonna’ win!

AJ shakes his head and takes a few steps back.

[ AJ Styles ] Freaking weirdos.

AJ leaves the Best Friends and Dolph behind.

[ Chuck Taylor ] So, Dolph, you wanna’ hug it out?

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Not even.

Dolph pushes Trent away from him and walks off.

[ Orange Cassidy ] Whatever.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Man, what a filler segment and a half, right?

[ Trent Beretta ] We really deserve better.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Well, we’re like the last real tag team remaining besides V.E.N.O.M. with Steenerico being so flaky and the Von Erichs taking a sabbatical after getting that ass beat. So we’ll get those belts eventually, right?

Trent shrugs.

[ Trent Beretta ] I mean, maybe. But still. You know how this stuff goes.

[ Chuck Taylor ] C’mon, hug it out, bitch.

Chuck and Trent embrace in a big bear hug as Orange Cassidy looks on. Fade.

Darkness.

Thunder claps in the distance as lightning strikes fill up the sky randomly. The swirling breeze howls.

“Sixty men enter.”

The booming voice of The Undertaker overtakes the storming echoes.

He appears.

The Undertaker, wearing a black robe with a hood that drapes over his eyes is now in front of us.

“I have taken souls on Shock, but now, it’s my turn to eliminate those who stand before me in Saudi Arabia.”

His head remains lowered but his voice is deep and stern even though the words are slowly spoken.

“Fifty-nine souls will be sent to eternal damnation as The Undertaker reigns. Fifty-nine souls will try and fifty-nine souls will fail. Fifty-nine souls will…”

The Undertaker snaps his head up, flipping the hood off of his head. We get a tight shot of The Undertaker’s eyes rolled in the back of his head as he makes a “cut throat” motion with his thumb.

“...Rest... In… Peace…”

Fade.

The King Abdullah International Stadium is buzzing with energy as Senior Official Mike Chioda assumes the position in center ring, waiting for our main event of the evening to kick off – the Most Excellent Even Bigger WrestleBrawl Match!

[ Tony Schiavone ] How exciting! This match – in name ALONE! – is set to be more excellent AND even bigger than the WrestleBrawl contest we saw earlier in the year, Nigel!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You are correct in that this is the name of the contest as chosen by King Salman himself.

[ Tony Schiavone ] You alright, best buddy? You’ve been acting strange all night.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I am fine, Tony. Simply excited to find out who will win this matchup here in the kingdom of Saudi.

Before the table can deliberate more on the upcoming match or Nigel’s peculiar behavior, the massive speakers in the arena blare out:

I’M HERE TO SHOW THE WORLD
I’M HERE TO SHOW THE WORLD
C’MON – BRING IT ON!

The fans in Jeddah are absolutely ecstatic as the stage is quickly washed over with pink and purple lights and the videoboards become covered with alternating digital cheetah print and studded leather!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY!

Stepping onto the massive stage in long tights that are a combination of the American Flag and Eddie Van Halen’s classic guitar print, a leather jacket with thousands of patches, aviators, a flat-billed Team Cody cap is the man who drew number one – Dolph Ziggler! Ziggler strolls down to the ring, smacking gum annoyingly all the way into the center of the arena, where he leaps over the ropes and spins around, taking in the moment as a slew of fireworks explode around the upper rim of the massive coliseum.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Dolph Ziggler is a fine performer, Tony. He will be difficult to beat with his immense cardiovascular conditioning.

[ Scott Steiner ] Fuck, Jamie Oliver! Get your shit together, man!

Ziggler rubs his hands together and lifts an eyebrow, waiting patiently for his opponent to enter the arena and the MEEBWB Match to begin. Jeddah begins popping prematurely, excited for the music to hit for the man who drew number two to enter the ring. Ziggler’s mouth is pressed into a cocky smile as he pops his neck in either direction before bending back over the top rope, stretching his vertebrae and leaping from side-to-side when a guitar hits the sound system and Jeddah absolutely loses it.

ADRENALINE – IN MY SOUL!
EVERY NIGHT OUT OF CONTROL,
DO IT ALL TO GET THEM OFF THEIR FEEEEEET…

The Nightmare Family logo is massive on the enormous screen, burning dramatically as Cody Rhodes steps onto the stage wearing a brown and green set of tights with shining TriForce logos on either leg. Jeddah is electric as the Grandson of a Plumber scales the ropes and spreads his arms out wide, taking in the warm response from the Saudi crowd.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This man, Cody Rhodes, has been on a damn-near unstoppable roll here in Solid Gold Wrestling and now – he’s got an opportunity to ‘do the work’ and win this massive prize here in Saudi Arabia!

[ Scott Steiner ] God knows he needs it! He’s CHOKED when it counts lately!

[ Tony Schiavone ] That’s not true, Scott! It’s just not true!

Cody and Ziggler eyeball one another for a moment as Chioda calls for the bell and we begin the Most Excellent Even Bigger WrestleBrawl Match!

Referee - Mike Chioda | Time Limit - No Time Limit - 60 Second Intervals

Entrant #1 – Dolph Ziggler
Entrant #2 – Cody Rhodes

The two men immediately tie up and begin grappling across the canvas, each man strutting their amateur chops before Ziggler gains the upper hand – but Cody reverses! It’s a stalemate! Ziggler begins swearing as the clock counts down!

[ Scott Steiner ] FUCK, already?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Yes, Scott. We dare not waste the time of the King. Let’s get this show moving, shall we?

Ziggler and Cody turn their attention to the stage as the timer expires and an unknown tune blares through the speakers!

WHAT A THRILL – WITH DARKNESS AND SILENCE THROUGH THE NIGHT!
WHAT A THRILL! I’M SEARCHING AND I’LL MELT INTO YOUUU!

A dark-complectioned young man with long, black hair sprints onto the stage in a glorious white and gold robe with matching tights and the Jeddah fans absolutely lose their minds! The announce desk is quiet, but eventually, a lower-third appears and informs us that this is, in fact:

Entrant #3 – Mansoor

[ Scott Steiner ] MANSOOR?! WHO THE FUCK IS MANSOOR?!

The young man hauls ass down the long ramp to a massive pop from the Saudi Arabian fans, sliding into the ring and throwing right hands at Cody – then Ziggler – then throws his arms to the side and soaks in another enormous pop from the Saudi fans!

[ Scott Steiner ] THEY JUST LIKE THIS CROOKED FUCK BECAUSE HE’S A SAUDI BASTARD, TOO!

Mansoor continues to posture around the ring for a moment as the countdown clock finally ticks down to one – and a sick guitar solo squeals through the speakers as a blue-and-yellow flash of gear bolts down the ramp to the ring!

Entrant #4 – Nick Jackson

Jackson leaps over the top rope and ducks a Mansoor superkick – dead-stopping and popping the hometown boy with a superkick of his own to a massive boo!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Oh, no, Nick, no. No. Please, please don’t upset the King.

Jackson throws a crotch chop at the downed Mansoor before turning into a superkick from Cody! Ziggler is up and throws a superkick of his own – but Cody catches it, spins Ziggler around – SUPERKICK! The Saudi fans cheer – then it shifts to a curious buzz as the timer hits zero and a buzzer gives way to an overdriven guitar slashing the air! The lights flash blue and red and the fans erupt into cheers as a young man steps onto the stage in long yellow and black tights.

THERE’S NO HOLDING ME BACK
I’M NOT DRIVEN BY FEAR, I’M JUST DRIVEN BY ANGER
YOU’RE ON THE ATTACK…

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ummm….I…

Entrant #5 – Chris Benoit, Jr.

David, or as the lower-third reads, “Chris Jr.” Benoit slides into the ring and immediately throws a collar-and-elbow tie-up at Cody, who ducks it and clobbers Benoit in the back of the head before taking an elbow strike to the back from Ziggler, who stomps a downed Benoit for good measure. As the men in the ring come to, the timer expires again and gives way to Tech N9ne’s “I Caught Crazy” and a surprisingly huge response from the Saudi fans.

Entrant #6 – Christopher Daniels

Daniels slides into the ring and punches Chris Benoit Jr. right in the face to a big pop from the Saudi fans. Turning to Mansoor, he atomic drops the hometown boy, then mocks ‘Soor for clutching his sore genitals – to a huge boo from the crowd! Daniels throws his hands up in shock as the time expires and the buzzer rings to bring out the next entrant!

Entrant #7 – El Hijo del Ice Cream

Hijo runs to the ring and immediately begins throwing shots at everyone in arm’s reach to a big reaction from the fans in Jeddah.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ice cream is beloved around the world! We’re not so different after all!

[ Scott Steiner ] BULLSHIT! These fucks probably have sand-flavored ice cream or some shit!

Hijo can’t maintain his advantage and is quickly swept into the sea of competitors as the buzzer rings again and a huge pop takes over the arena!

Entrant #8 – Johnny “the Bull” Stamboli

The SGW Legend and former SGW World Heavyweight Champion strolls to the ring and gets to work with a stiff kick to Dolph Ziggler, then pops Mansoor in the mouth with a stiff hand! The Bull throws up a fist and pops the Jeddah fans again as the final second ticks off the clock to bring us our ninth entrant.

Entrant #9 – Matt Jackson

Matt bursts through the curtain and hauls ass down the mile-long ramp, sliding into the ring and ducking a Johnny Stamboli clothesline before –

[ Tony Schiavone ] DOUBLE SUPERKICK!

[ Scott Steiner ] FUCK, STAMBOLI! COME ON!

Stamboli drops like a sack of potatoes as the Bucks crotch chop wildly before turning into Cody Rhodes, who gives a ‘too sweet’ to each man as they turn their attention to Dolph Ziggler! Ziggler clutches the top rope as the trio of Elite grapplers attempt to hoist him over the ropes as the buzzer rings again and –

Entrant #10 – Raven

[ Scott Steiner ] WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKIN’ SHOW?!

Raven, holding a trash can in his right hand, hobbles down to the ring as quickly as he possibly can – which, ironically, is 45 seconds – enough time for the buzzer to ring again to introduce…

Entrant #11 – Johnny Solid Gold

Johnny bursts down the ramp like a flash of light, running right past Raven (who places his trash can at ringside) and sliding into the ring, blasting everyone with karate kicks before springboarding off the middle rope and knocking down a trio of opponents like bowling pins as Raven finally slides into the ring. Chris Benoit Jr. attempts to accost Raven, but the bitter veteran slaps the young man in the mouth and to the mat in a heap as the buzzer rings yet again.

LOOK IN MY EYES!
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
THE CULT OF PERSONALITY!

Entrant #12 – CM Punk

CM Punk declares it to be clobbering time and jaunts down the ramp, sliding into the ring and immediately tearing into Cody and Ziggler, then turning to square off with Johnny Solid Gold.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This ring is getting awfully full, guys!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Not to worry, Tony. The rings in Saudi Arabia are definitely strong enough to support the massive amount of weight in it.

[ Tony Schiavone ] …yes…

Before long, the buzzer hits again – and out comes –

Entrant #13 – Trent?

Trent busts ass to the ring and immediately goes after the Young Bucks, clearly knowing that it would be wise to oust one or both of the Brothers Jackson to keep anyone’s advantages in the ring as limited as possible. The Jeddah fans are murmuring amongst themselves as the ring continues to fill up, not stopping as –

Entrant #14 – James Storm

– enters the ring, finishing a longneck and dropping the bottle to the protective mats at ringside as he slides into the ring and directly into a brawl with Johnny Solid Gold. The match continues with wild action across the ring until a Canadian accent comes over the speakers.

[ ??? ] This is a terrible show! And this is a waste of my time!

Entrant #15 – Kevin Steen

Steen stomps down to the ring, visibly furious with the contest and continuing to slur everything along the way.

[ Kevin Steen ] Look at this shit, will ‘ya?! RAVEN?! JOHNNY THE FUCKIN’ BULL?! THE YOUNG BUCKS?! This is a ton of losers! I’m no loser! I’m here to win!

Steen slides into the ring and easily steps through to center ring as nearly everyone else in the ring is busy with their own miniature matches between the ropes. Steen throws his hands up, in disbelief, and continues.

[ Kevin Steen ] I mean, come on! I’ve been here for weeks, slaving behind the Battle Lines! I’ve poured my life into it, and frankly, I’m over it! I’m just over it! That’s right! I qui—OOOGH!

From behind, Chris Benoit Jr. blasts Steen in the back, sending him careening over the top rope and to the floor as the Jeddah fans explode with joy!

ELIMINATED – Kevin Steen

As Benoit, Jr. turns around, he is quickly clotheslined over the top rope by Christopher Daniels, crashing to the floor to a big boo from the Jeddah fans.

ELIMINATED – Chris Benoit, Jr.

Before the overwhelming boo for Daniels eliminating what the Jeddah fans likely ASSUMED was a double-murderer can sweep through the arena, the buzzer sounds to introduce –

Entrant #16 – Lance Storm

Another former SGW World Heavyweight Champion emerges and paces dutifully to the ring as the Jeddah fans’ tone changes to a cheer – they really love the legends of Solid Gold Wrestling! Storm steps into the ring and ties up with Daniels, each man doing their best to hurl the other over the ropes to the floor as we get another buzzer to bring out –

Entrant #17 – Prince Devitt

Devitt blasts down the ramp and slides into the ring, blasting Cody, then Mansoor, then Ziggler in the face before ducking a Johnny Solid Gold clothesline and PLANTING him with a Sling Blade! Johnny the Bull is up next, charging with a double axe handle, but Devitt boots him in the gut and lifts, WRECKING Stamboli with a Bloody Sunday to a big pop! Devitt stands up and flexes his neck, spreading his arms out until – BUZZER!

Entrant #18 – AJ Styles

A big pop as Styles paces slowly to the ring, not taking his eyes off of Devitt! The two former Bullet Club leaders go nose-to-nose to a big pop – which only increases in size as Cody Rhodes intercedes, stepping up to the pair and looking them each in the eye, back and forth.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wow, would you look at this!

Before any of the former Bullet Club leaders can throw a punch, the buzzer sounds again to bring out –

Entrant #19 – Danhausen

Danhausen rushes to the ring and steps between the former Bullet Club heads and lifts his hands, encouraging peace between them all – and it seems to work!

[ Tony Schiavone ] They shouldn’t trust Danhausen! He’s very nice, but also – very evil!

Cody, Styles, and Devitt turn to separate, giving Danhausen an opportunity to rub his hands together and go after Rhodes – BUT the Young Bucks clatter him with a double superkick, sending him soaring over the top rope!

ELIMINATED – Danhausen

Cody turns, thankful that the Bucks would assist him, but the Bucks throw pump-fake Superkicks at Cody, who raises his hands to block before the three friends laugh together for a moment – but not before Styles and Devitt rush the Jackson brothers and dump them over the top rope and to the floor!

ELIMINATED – Matt Jackson
ELIMINATED – Nick Jackson

AND THE BUZZER RINGS! PANDEMONIUM!

Entrant #20 – Jay Briscoe

The raging redneck storms down the ramp and into the ring, fists cocked and unloading on any and every one nearby – until he gets blasted by a huge superkick from Dolph Ziggler! Briscoe turns – into a Last Rites from Daniels! He pops up – into the waiting arms of CM Punk, who drives a knee into his face with the Go 2 Sleep! Lance Storm fires a superkick – and the BUZZER SOUNDS!

Entrant #21 – Chuck Taylor

Chuck hauls ass down the ramp to the ring – just as Lance Storm fires off another superkick and Briscoe flips over the ropes to the flo—NO! NO! Chuck Taylor catches Briscoe on his shoulders, Chicken-Fight style! The Jeddah fans pop again as Taylor is baffled with what to do! Chioda pinches the bridge of his nose, wondering where his life went wrong to bring him to this moment as Trent demands that Chuck climb the steps into the ring! Whimpering that Jay is “too heavy,” Taylor sulks over and begins trying to climb the steps! He wobbles, really weakly, up the steps to the second one as the Jeddah fans cheer encouragingly.

[ Scott Steiner ] Maybe he’ll slip and break both their necks – I mean, I ain’t expectin’ anything to go my way ta’nite, but you never fuckin’ know!

Trent reaches over the ropes, doing his best to steady Chuck up the steps until finally, Taylor dumps Briscoe off his shoulders and steps into the ring himself, embracing his partner as the hard camera shoots backwards with a dramatic out-zoom to a big pop from the Jeddah fans – and another BUZZER SOUND!

Entrant #22 – Jake Hager

The party’s over as the Intercontinental Champion’s enforcer stomps down to the ring and hops through the ropes, clobbering the Best Friends in the back before turning his attention to Jay Briscoe and hurling him over the ropes for good.

ELIMINATED – Jay Briscoe

Hager turns immediately to Stamboli and blasts him in the face, then sees a very slowly approaching Raven and punches him, as well. Finally, Dolph Ziggler leaps onto Hager’s back and the two blend into the ever-growing sea of humanity in the ring as the BUZZER sounds again!

Entrant #23 – ‘Diamond’ Dallas Page

DDP, to a moderate pop, sprints down the aisle and hops onto the apron, then steps through the ropes, turning DIRECTLY into a STIFF gamengiri from Cody, sending him hurdling over the ropes and to the floor!

ELIMINATED – ‘Diamond’ Dallas Page

Page stands up and immediately retires from in-ring competition, deeming that Cody has done him a favor as a family friend and removes his boots, tossing his gloves into a front row trash can as he sullenly leaves up the ramp, never to be seen again.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Hey! Wait! What about Body Count?!

Tony is alone in his musing as the BUZZER sounds and in comes –

Entrant #24 – Virgil

Virgil dashes down the ramp and slides into the ring, then stands and is immediately DDTed by Raven to a massive pop! Dolph Ziggler, picking the bones, hurls the former bodyguard over the ropes to the floor, just in time for another BUZZER!

ELIMINATED – Virgil

Entrant #25 – El Generico

Generico runs halfway down the ramp, then gets sad as he sees Virgil on the floor and enters the ring with a little less fire, first ducking a Mansoor flying nothing before eating a gut kick from Christopher Daniels! Daniels hooks and lifts – Angel’s Wings! Generico pops up off the mat – and Stamboli clotheslines him over to the floor!

ELIMINATED – El Generico

Infuriated, Daniels hops off the mat and dumps Stamboli to the floor, screaming angrily that “you stole my elimination, you doofus!” – And the BUZZER sounds again!

ELIMINATED – Johnny Stamboli

Entrant #26 – Chris Dickinson

The former Golden Idol of Shock busts ass down the ramp and into the ring, quickly clotheslining El Hijo del Ice Cream over the top rope and to the floor before screaming and pulling out his dick strings!

ELIMINATED – El Hijo del Ice Cream

Dickinson blasts Raven with a forearm, then the BUZZER sounds and –

Entrant #27 – Eddie Dennis

Dickinson’s attention is immediately grabbed as Dennis, holding the Golden Staff, traipses down to ringside – AND EATS A SUICIDE DIVE FROM THE DIRTY DADDY! Dickinson and Dennis are brawling recklessly as the BUZZER rings!

Entrant #28 – Alex Shelley

A HUGE pop from the Jeddah fans as the former Executive Assistant of Shock bursts through the curtain and strolls to the brawling Golden Idol holders – AND SUPERKICKS Dickinson to a massive shocked pop! Dennis turns, grinning at Shelley, and the two roll the Dirty Daddy into the ring before Dennis chunks Dickinson to the floor with ease!

ELIMINATED – Chris Dickinson

Shelley claps Dennis on the back as the two admire their handywork, a downed and out Dickinson on the floor – but over runs CM Pun, who dumps both Shelley and Dennis to the floor with a huge burst of energy!

ELIMINATED – Alex Shelley
ELIMINATED – Eddie Dennis

Punk immediately turns into James Storm and Raven, and the three brawl into the crowd again as – BUZZER sounds!

Entrant #29 – Frankie Kazarian

Kaz dashes down to the ring and slides into the ring, noticing Christopher Daniels across the ring and pointing to his long-time partner – but Mansoor dropkicks an unsuspecting Kaz over the top rope and to the floor – OR, more accurately, Raven’s trash can, THEN to the floor – to a massive pop!

ELIMINATED – Frankie Kazarian

Daniels shrieks in agony as Mansoor pumps his fist in joy! The Fallen Angel tries to rush him but is quickly accosted by the Best Friends! Mansoor, on the other hand, only builds on his huge burst of energy by scooping James Storm up and over the top rope! Then doing the same to Raven as the BUZZER sounds!

ELIMINATED – James Storm
ELIMINATED – Raven

Entrant #30 – Brodie Lee

Lee stalks to the ring and immediately asserts himself opposite CM Punk as the ring shifts around, people alternating their attacks until the BUZZER sounds again!

Entrant #31 – Ted DiBiase

His iconic laugh bursts across the speakers and the Saudi fans explode at the familiar Million Dollar Man, who simply pauses on the apron nervously. Wearing his boots, long white socks, his old trunks, squeezed around his pudgy belly and thighs, and his bi-focals, Ted looks around anxiously until – BUZZER sounds!

Entrant #32 – Ice Cream Jr.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ah, perfect sense! Wait for your backup to arrive!

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT’S BACKUP?!

DiBiase, now grinning, marches behind Junior down to the ring and into the action, the two men getting involved with the raucousness in the squared circle as the BUZZER hits again!

Entrant #33 – Enzo Amore

Enzo runs like a bat out of hell down the ramp and slides into the ring, shuffling his feet annoyingly until Dolph Ziggler blasts him in the back of the head with a superkick!

[ Scott Steiner ] MAYBE IT KILLED HIM! MAYBE IT KILLED HIM!

Ziggler scoops Amore off the mat and hurls him over the ropes to the floor as the BUZZER sounds again.

ELIMINATED – Enzo Amore

Entrant #34 – Hangman Adam Page

The Anxious Millenial Cowboy saddles up to the ring and launches himself in with a Buckshot Lariat that hits nobody – and gets smacked with a Dolph Ziggler SUPERKICK – sending him over the ropes and to the floor in a heap!

ELIMINATED – Hangman Adam Page

Ziggler pumps his fists, feeling it, as the BUZZER sounds again.

Entrant #35 – Drew Gulak

Gulak heads to the ring and gets involved in the action, mixing it up with fellow technical wizard Lance Storm as the BUZZER hits again.

Entrant #36 – AJ Gray

Running down the aisle is a member of the Filthy Family, Gray, who impressed against Jacob Fatu only weeks ago in London – and quickly bashes AJ Styles in the head, getting into a slug-fest with the Phenomenal One.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This ring is filling up!!

[ Scott Steiner ] YEAH! SOMEONE KILL A BUNCH OF THESE STUPID FUCKS!

Entrant #37 – Cameron Grimes

The BUZZER welcomes the re-debuting Cameron Grimes, who dashes to the ring and Mushroom Stomps Johnny Solid Gold into the canvas with authority! He lifts JSG and begins trying to hurl him over the ropes until – BUZZER!

Entrant #38 – Pinkie Sanchez

Pinkie Sanchez sprints to the ring and leaps onto Brodie Lee’s shoulders for a hurricanrana – but Brodie endures it and powerbombs Sanchez over the top rope and to the floor for a MASSIVE pop as the BUZZER sounds again!

ELIMINATED – Pinkie Sanchez

Entrant #39 – Simon Gotch

Sliding into the ring is the lightning-fast Simon Gotch, who begins slugging away at Chuck Taylor before Jake Hager smashing both men’s heads together and carries on about his path of rage as the BUZZER sounds!

Entrant #40 – Dustin Rhodes

Dustin storms down to the ring, eyes locked on his brother before scanning the ring a moment and cocking his fist for AJ Styles when –

[ Tony Schiavone ] WHAT is Christopher Daniels doing?!

Daniels has his finger in Dustin’s face, screaming.

[ Christopher Daniels ] I know that fist was coming for me! Who’s team are you on, huh?! Me or Cody, you doofus?! I drafted you! You can only win and get a shot at the gold WITH ME! Not Cody! And you’re gonna hit me?!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Is Daniels nuts?! He was nowhere NEAR Dustin when he threw that punch!

Cody, having had enough of the shenanigans, rushes Daniels with a clothesline, but thinking quickly, the Fallen Angel drops down, pulling Dustin’s tights with him and allowing Cody to knock his brother out of the ring!

ELIMINATED – Dustin Rhodes

As the countdown clicks by, Dustin’s mouth is opened in shock as Cody’s eyes grow wider, in disbelief! Daniels snickers to himself and scoots out of the way as THE BUZZER sounds!

Entrant #41 – Steve Corino

The Origin member saunters down to the ring, where he slides in and is quickly surrounded by a ton of non-friendly faces!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Uh oh! Looks like Corino’s gonna get it now!

Sure enough, he does – the King of Old School is walloped over and over with shot after shot from a variety of wrestlers – more telling, though, is Jake Hager’s reluctance to either help or hurt Corino! Finally, the BUZZER sounds and –

Entrant #42 – Mark Briscoe

Mark Briscoe busts ass on the way to the ring, sliding in and leaping at Hager, who takes the flying opponent under the arms and escorts him over the top rope with his own energy!

ELIMINATED – Mark Briscoe

With a massively full ring, Cody Rhodes begins TEARING through the competition, hurling Ice Cream Jr. over the top rope, then connecting with a superkick to launch Lance Storm out of the match, as well!

ELIMINATED – Ice Cream Jr.
ELIMINATED – Lance Storm

The BUZZER sounds and –

Entrant #43 – Ikuro Kwan

Kwan bursts down the ramp and into the ring, pairing off with Simon Gotch to attack Cody Rhodes and stop his streak of energy until –

[ Tony Schiavone ] WHOA! Oh my GOODNESS!

Jake Hager double clotheslines both members of the CONTRA Unit over the ropes!

ELIMINATED – Ikuro Kwan
ELIMINATED – Simon Gotch

Hager turns around – right into a high dropkick from Mansoor, which sends Jake over the ropes and to the floor to another massive pop!

ELIMINATED – Jake Hager

Mansoor pumps his fists, excited, as Prince Devitt charges him with a clothesline – but Mansoor ducks, low-bridging the top rope and letting Devitt sail over it!

ELIMINATED – Prince Devitt

Jeddah is electrified as the BUZZER sounds, welcoming…

Entrant #44 – Bobby Roode

The second half of Beer Money enters the ring, wisely avoiding the white-hot Mansoor, who has turned his attention to AJ Gray – who sails over the top rope as Mansoor hits a beautiful pump superkick to another massive pop!

ELIMINATED – AJ Gray

Roode pops Mansoor in the back, sending him over the top rope to a huge boo – but Mansoor hangs on and skins the cat, grabbing Roode’s head and dragging him over and to the floor to ANOTHER massive roar of the crowd!

ELIMINATED – Bobby Roode

The BUZZER roars out again, welcoming –

Entrant #45 – Drew Parker

The SGW Limitless Champion bursts through the ropes and into the ring, immediately tying up with Dolph Ziggler in a flurry of punches and kicks as the ring settles slightly – until Mansoor dumps the Best Friends, distracted with Drew Gulak, over the ropes and to the floor as Jeddah roars again.

ELIMINATED – Chuck Taylor
ELIMINATED – Trent?

Entrant #46 – Orange Cassidy

Jeddah roars in multiple ways as OC saunters to the ring, slower than Raven even, as Mansoor licks his lips, daring OC to fight him! Eventually, the BUZZER sounds again and –

Entrant #47 – The Rock

Lightning may as well have been injected into the veins of everyone in the arena as the Great One runs down the aisle and slides into the ring, punching anything that moves, including knocking Ted DiBiase to the floor with a dancing right hand!

ELIMINATED – Ted DiBiase

The Rock rolls to Drew Gulak and plasters HIM with a right hand, sending HIM soaring over the ropes to the floor!

ELIMINATED – Drew Gulak

Finally, Steve Corino approaches the Rock – but the Great one doesn’t give a damn and Rock Bottoms Corino with authority! As Jeddah roars, the Rock hurls his Candy Ass over the ropes and to the floor, spitting with immaculate aim into Corino’s mouth as he hits the ground and the BUZZER roars again.

ELIMINATED – Steve Corino

Entrant #48 – Triple H

Orange Cassidy and Triple H slide into the ring at the same time and begin HUGE slugfests against Mansoor and the Rock, respectively, as Jeddah roars with energy!

[ Tony Schiavone ] THIS IS WHAT PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING IS ALL ABOUT!

[ Scott Steiner ] FUCK YOU, SCHIAVONE! FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS BULLSHIT COUNTRY!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is an opinion of Scott solely! His opinion does not reflect my own!

Eventually, the BUZZER sounds and –

Entrant #49 – Shawn Michaels

Michaels rushes the ring and assists HHH in blasting the Rock with fists, shooting him off the ropes – double clothesline! – DUCK! – Rock’s off the ropes! – DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Michaels is up – and Ziggler knocks him over the ropes to the floor! Hunter is up – and CM Punk eliminates him, as well!

ELIMINATED – Shawn Michaels
ELIMINATED – Triple H

Orange Cassidy throws a weak kick, popping Mansoor in the face – but Ziggler is still alive and superkicks OC to the floor as well as the BUZZER roars!

ELIMINATED – Orange Cassidy

Entrant #50 – Vince McMahon

McMahon stomps to the ring and pauses, looking for an opportunity to strike as –

Entrant #51 – Shane McMahon

Jeddah explodes! The former owner of Solid Gold Wrestling bounces down to the ring and rushes his father, knocking him out of the ring and to the floor, eliminating them both!

ELIMINATED – Vince McMahon
ELIMINATED – Shane McMahon

Cameron Grimes and Drew Parker continue to punch one another as Johnny Solid Gold intercedes to join them as the BUZZER rings.

Entrant #52 – Nunzio

The Don strolls down the aisle and into the ring, where he goes blow for blow with Johnny, Parker, and Grimes as the Jeddah fans boo him voraciously – they are big Kevin Nash fans in Saudi Arabia, you see.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Nunzio is not a nice man and he’s not made any friends here in Jeddah, apparently!

The action continues around the ring until the BUZZER sounds –

AAAAWWWWWWWWEEEEESOMMMEEEEEE!

Entrant #53 – The Miz

Miz darts to the ring and slides under the ropes, immediately going after CM Punk and AJ Styles with big forearm blows to the back as the ring shifts again, energy and momentum flying all over in ways which would make a lizard’s head explode.

[ Scott Steiner ] THIS IS BULLSHIT! SOMEBODY THROW THESE MOTHERFUCKERS OUT!

The countdown clock hits five.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well, Scott, maybe the next entrant will do just that!

[ Scott Steiner ] UN-FUCKIN’-LIKELY!

BUZZER!

Entrant #54 – Scott Steiner

The siren blares over the speakers as the Jeddah fans lose their minds. The camera cuts to ringside, where a smile breaks over Steiner’s face slowly as he looks from Nigel to Tony.

[ Scott Steiner ] WELL, WELL, WELL! I GOTS SOME ASSES TA’ KICK!

Steiner throws his headset at the table and rips off his sleeveless shirt, hauling ass for the ring! The first man up is Drew Parker, who eats a Steinerline! Cameron Grimes is next and takes a clothesline as well. Brodie Lee is up, charging, and Steiner hurls his tall ass over the ropes, shouting and somehow forgetting that he isn’t mic’ed up whilst in the ring!

ELIMINATED – Brodie Lee

The BUZZER strikes again, bringing out –

Entrant #55 – Tucor

– the Timeliest of All Kaiju draws several gasps and shocked expressions, one Saudi woman even passing out at the sight of the half-toucan/half-gerbil/half-man hybrid beast. Steiner shoves Cameron Grimes aside and steps towards Tucor, each one of them eyeballing the other. The Saudi fans begin clumsily chanting ‘Holy Shit’ over and over as Tucor and Steiner begin throwing shots at one another, knocking the other for a loop with each blow before entangling themselves into a mass of flesh and fur and feathers and soaring over the ropes to the floor!

ELIMINATED – Tucor
ELIMINATED – Scott Steiner

Attendants quickly separate Steiner and Tucor, escorting each to their designated position in the arena as the BUZZER sounds!

Entrant #56 – Bill Goldberg

Sparks consume the stage as Saudi Arabia lights up alongside it! From the cloud of fireworks storms Goldberg, shadowboxing down the ramp to the ring! Dolph Ziggler approaches – SPEAR! CM Punk leapfrogs a spear, but gets caught on the way back! SPEAR! AJ Styles comes off the top rope – SPEAR! Goldberg is on fire!!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Welcome back, Scott!

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT FUCKIN’ TUCOR! MISSED ME A SHOT AT BEATIN’ THE SHIT OUTTA GOLDBERG!

The BUZZER roars as the men in the ring turn their attention to the stage and see –

Entrant #57 – The Undertaker

Another gargantuan pop from the Jeddah fans as the Deadman slowly strolls down the aisle, several of the men in the ring itching for the opportunity to eliminate him from this match – and here they come! Ziggler takes a punch! Grimes eats a fist! Nunzio take a BIG BOOT! Miz eats a right hand! AJ Styles leaps off the top rope – into a goozle! CHOKESLAM!! Taker flips his head back and sticks his tongue out at Goldberg as the BUZZER sounds again!

I’VE BECOME, I’VE BECOME, I’M BECOMING…
I’VE BECOME, I’VE BECOME, I’M BECOMING…

Entrant #58 – Chris Jericho

A MASSIVE blast of pyro echoes around the roof of the King Abdullah International Stadium as Chris Jericho steps onto the stage with a sinister grin on his face. The SGW Intercontinental Champion arrogantly stomps down the aisle to the ring and leaps into the ring, immediately taking a well-worn Johnny Solid Gold by the hair and hurling him from the ring!

ELIMINATED – Johnny Solid Gold

Jericho doesn’t stop, jabbing the Rock in the throat before NAILING Cameron Grimes with a Codebreaker and hurling him over the top, too!

ELIMINATED – Cameron Grimes

AJ Styles flies off the top rope, looking to eliminate Jericho – but eats a JUDAS EFFECT and flies from the ring, as well – NO! NO! Styles holds onto the top rope!

[ Tony Schiavone ] WHAT AMAZING ATHLETICISM FROM AJ STYLES! HE’S GOING TO SURVI—

Jericho runs up, kicking the ropes and sending Styles crashing to the mat below with a wicked smile on his face!

ELIMINATED – AJ Styles

Jericho turns – and the entire ring’s worth of competitors is staring him down to a huge pop from the crowd! Jericho’s eyes go wide, begging off the storm of attacks with hands raised as the BUZZER sounds!

Entrant #59 – The Big Nasty

Jericho’s panic turns to relief as the entire ring’s worth of competitors turns to the stage, where the Big Nasty slowly stalks to ringside, entering the ring with evil intent in his cold eyes!

[ Tony Schiavone ] How lucky is Chris Jericho?! How lucky are THESE numbers?!

The Big Nasty CLOCKS Christopher Daniels with a right hand, sending him to the mat in a heap, then BLASTS Drew Parker with a huge fist, knocking him off the top rope and to the floor!

ELIMINATED – Drew Parker

The Undertaker storms after Jericho, but the Big Nasty steps in and intercepts with a HUGE punch to the mouth! Jericho follows up – CODEBREAKER! The impact sends the Deadman up and over the ropes to a massive boo, as well!

ELIMINATED – The Undertaker

Jericho stands, grinning ear-to-ear as the Big Nasty waylays Nunzio with a huge right hand, as well, leaving him PRIME for Jericho to score with the JUDAS EFFECT, sending him careening over the top rope to the floor as the final BUZZER rings out!

ELIMINATED – Nunzio

Entrant #60 – Masked Man

Jeddah pops out of sheer curiosity as a man in a full-black body suit and mask walks to the ring and gestures at Jericho to help him eliminate Cody Rhodes! Jericho looks the man up and down, and the masked figure makes an ‘O’ with his hands over his head – and Jericho smiles!

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO, DAMMIT! This must be some…some kind of Origin spy! Some ringer they’ve hired to help Jericho here!

Jericho barks orders at the masked man as they approach Cody, the Big Nasty choosing to choke the life from Bill Goldberg as they do so. Jericho takes the lead, talking trash all the way until – the Masked Man hurls him over the top rope to a thunderous reaction from the fans in Jeddah!

ELIMINATED – Chris Jericho

Jericho’s eyes are as large as saucers as his mouth drops open in shock! Slowly, the masked man fidgets with the seam of his mask, slowly pulling it up and over his head to reveal –

Entrant #60 – Shane Douglas

[ Shane Douglas ] AHAHAHA! YOU MOTHER FUCKER!

A seismic level of adulation from the Jeddah fans as The Franchise stands in center ring, beaming ear-to-ear and throws the mask at a still-stunned Jericho!

[ Shane Douglas ] YOU THINK I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN WATCHIN’!? SEEIN’ WHAT YOU’VE BEEN PLOTTIN’ AGAINST MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD ADAM FUCKIN’ COLE, BAYBAY?! WELL, CHRIS, YOU SIMPLE-MINDED TWITTY LITTLE FUCK – I GOT THE LAST FUCKIN’ LAUGH, DIDN’T I?! BECAUSE I’M THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE, ADAM COLE’S RIGHT HAND MAN, BABY! AND YOUR ASS…JUST! GOT! FRANCHII—II—AHH!!

The Big Nasty whirls Douglas around and LEATHERS him with a huge right hand, sending him to the floor!

ELIMINATED – Shane Douglas

An infuriated Big Nasty turns around – right into the Rock, who lifts and PLANTS him with a Rock Bottom! The Rock, fueled by the support of the Saudi people, muscles the big man up and to the ropes before somehow, someway, pouring him over the top rope to the floor!

ELIMINATED – The Big Nasty

The Rock stands up, satisfied with himself, and turns – into the running pump superkick from Mansoor! It hits the Rock flush and he soars over the top rope to the floor as the fans cheer massively, then quiet down as they realize the Rock has been eliminated – even IF by favorite Mansoor!

ELIMINATED – The Rock

Mansoor turns – and Goldberg rushes him with a SPEAR! HUGE SPEAR! Daniels is up – and Goldberg runs – Daniels sidesteps and hurls Goldberg over the ropes! Christopher Daniels has eliminated an SGW Hall of Famer!

ELIMINATED – Bill Goldberg

Daniels is grinning ear-to-ear, not even noticing a Saudi man rushing from the audience into the ring behind him!

[ Scott Steiner ] Jesus, Daniels, look out!

The Saudi man hurls Daniels over the top rope as the camera finally gets a good look at him – it’s the Saudi Prince who pinned Daniels earlier in the week! The SGW Full-Tilt Boogie Champion!

ELIMINATED – Christopher Daniels

The Saudi Prince follows Daniels to the outside and sizes him up for a kick to the head, but Daniels ducks it, rolling up the prince as Slick Johnson runs from the audience, diving into position and counting the ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNER AND NEW SGW FULL-TILT BOOGIE CHAMPION
CHRISTOPHER DANIELS

Daniels and Johnson haul ass up the ramp, escaping from the Prince, who is given assistance to the back as inside the ring, the final five men are getting back to their feet! The Miz stumbles across the ring aiming for Punk, but Punk ducks – and Cody springs off the ropes with the disaster kick! Miz is staggered! Punk scoops him onto his shoulders as Jeddah roars – he’s looking for the Go 2 Sleep – but Mansoor dropkicks Punk in the back and sends him over the ropes and to the floor!

ELIMINATED – CM Punk

Miz is hanging onto the middle rope, having grabbed it with a last resort before standing, looking to pull himself into the ring – but there’s Mansoor again – PUMP SUPERKICK! Miz’ fingers are weakening and Mansoor can’t believe it! Cody runs up, hoisting Mansoor up and over the ropes, knocking Miz out of the match as well in the process!

ELIMINATED – The Miz
ELIMINATED – Mansoor

Rhodes slumps to the mat, exhausted, before looking across the ring at Ziggler – the first and second men in the match are the final two in the ring, having JUST eliminated the third man in!

[ Tony Schiavone ] What a turn of events! What a crazy world this professional wrestling is! This is truly the greatest night in the history of our fine sport!

Mike Chioda is standing beside the ring, watching intently as the men struggle to their feet – and Cody rushes at Ziggler! Rhodes clotheslines Dolph over the rope and both men grab the top rope with a single hand! Their feet are dangling over the protective mat outside the ring as Chioda watches carefully, noting no feet have touched the floor!

[ Tony Schiavone ] MY WORD! This is incredible!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I cannot believe these two men! Their fortitude and endurance have overcome even my tremendous fear this evening!

Cody reaches up and grabs the top rope with his other hand and begins pulling himself – but Ziggler’s grip weakens and he falls – but grabs onto Cody’s torso, preventing himself from falling as a HUGE roar spreads through the arena! Cody’s muscles are being strained to their limit as he screams, doing all he can not to fall to the floor!

[ Tony Schiavone ] If Cody falls, his feet will touch first!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Genius move by Ziggler here!

Cody’s muscles begin twitching as he pulls up and swings his and Ziggler’s combined mass onto the apron, where they land in a heap! Jeddah is roaring as Ziggler and Rhodes each lay, breathing deeply and doing their best to pull themselves up!

[ Tony Schiavone ] We’ve reached critical mass!

Both men claw to their feet – and Ziggler throws a superkick! – RHODES CATCHES IT, SPINS HIM AROUND! He’s hooked for the Cross Rhodes! Ziggler punches Cody in the face again! Again! Again! Ziggler and Rhodes are both wobbling on the ropes – and Cody leaps off the bottom rope, flying up to kick Dolph in the face! Ziggler’s wobbling! Cody throws a punch, but Ziggler moves around it and headbutts Rhodes in the nose! Rhodes is wobbling! Ziggler throws another superkick and both men fall!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY GOSH!

Hurdling towards the floor, reaching desperately for a handful of ropes to save the match, the mass of humanity fall towards the floor – and both men go face-first to the protective mats!

Although, in the tumble down to the floor, Dolph Ziggler maneuvered his body to allow his left foot to rest on the apron of the ring, only letting one foot hit the ground as the bell rings.

WINNER
DOLPH ZIGGLER in 39:02

“Here to Show the World” blares over the speakers as Ziggler rolls into center ring, breathing deeply and in disbelief at the match he’s just endured. The Jeddah fans are roaring with excitement as a Fourth-of-July-level of fireworks explode around the top ring of the King Abdullah International Stadium.

[ Tony Schiavone ] THAT’S IT! THAT’S IT! ZIGGLER HAS WON IT!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I cannot believe it! After a Herculean cardiovascular effort, Dolph Ziggler has won the Most Excellent Even Bigger WrestleBrawl Match – and here come his prizes!

As Ziggler’s chest rises and falls, in disbelief that he’s won this huge matchup, Rhodes claws into the ring, as well, clearly exhausted but looking to congratulate Ziggler as a huge murmur rises through the crowd in Jeddah.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Look, Tony! Scott! Show some respect!

King Salman himself walks calmly to the ring, each and every patron in the arena bowing their head as he passes! He is carrying a lovely green championship which looks just like the SGW World Heavyweight Championship, other than a massive Saudi flag in the center of the main plate. He is beaming at the Show-Off and is flanked by a gorgeous young woman in a beautiful, ornate dress and head covering. The ringside assistants rush into place and help the King and his daughter, the princess, into the ring, where he smiles at the still-down Ziggler in center ring.

[ Tony Schiavone ] The presentation of prizes! This is so exciting!

Several of the final few eliminations are watching from outside the ring and up the aisle as Ziggler makes his way slowly to his feet, bowing politely to the King, who nods with a smile. The King takes a microphone and speaks, an interpreter joining him in the ring to translate.

[ King Salman ] ‘Ahsant ya syd Dorph Ziggah! Ahse, Codeh Road! 'aemaq wa'aemaq tahanayna lak walieayilatik wa'ahfadik alhaliayn walmustaqbaliyna! laqad badhalat jhwdana kabirat lilfawz bihadhih almubarat Al'akthar Shuhratan Wa'afdal Luebat WrestleBrawl - walakun , llasf , 'iinaha ... laysat muhawalatan fayizat.

[ Translator ] His Great and Powerful King Salman say, ‘My most deep congratulations to you, Dolph Ziggah, Cody Roads! To your ancestors, your future descendants for this effort! You’ve fought tremendously! You have done well to win this…WrestleBrawl match…alas, it is…not a winning effort, though.’

Rhodes’ and Ziggler’s faces are instantly marked by confusion, a stark contrast to King Salman’s.

[ King Salman ] Laqad 'ubliat bla'an hsnana , lakanak lm tufiz bialjawayiz alty earadatha biltf! bdlaan min dhlk , hadhih aljawayiz ... hilyat albutulat hadhih ... abnataya aljamilat , al'amirat klwy ... satadhhab 'iilaa alfayiz alhaqiqii fi mubarat WrestleBrawl ...

[ Translator ] His Great and Powerful King Salman say, ‘You have done well, but you have not won the prizes which I so graciously offe—’

As the crowd rumbles, The Rock quickly slides into the ring from the aisle with a microphone in hand, sweating profusely, and interrupts the Translator.

[ The Rock ] Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, now, Skippy!

The fans tensely applaud the Rock as King Salman smiles at the evening’s host, unaware of the shift in tone in the Great One’s voice. The Rock hasn’t taken his eyes off of the Translator.

[ The Rock ] You’ll have to excuse the Rock, because he’s had two very strenuous professional wrestling matches this evening, in addition to performing as the host of SGW Blood in the Sand this evening, in addition to the raucous sex with three Saudi Arabian FOXES earlier today – he seems to be a little tired and must have misheard you! The Rock could have sworn you said that my best friend in the whole entire world, Dolphin Ziggler here, didn’t win the prizes for winning the WrestleBrawl Match!

The Translator gulps nervously as the Rock’s eyes narrow.

[ The Rock ] Did the Rock understand you correctly…?

A small quelling pop in the crowd spreads very slowly, almost timidly through the people in the arena. The Translator slowly lifts the microphone.

[ Translator ] Yes, Meester Rock, you have understoo—

[ The Rock ] IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THE ROCK UNDERSTOOD YOU CORRECTLY!

Another not-so-big pop from the audience. The Rock carries on as Rhodes and Ziggler look around the arena nervously.

[ The Rock ] The Rock says this – if my best friend not named Rey Mysterio does not win this match, the Rock says WHO….in the BLUE HELL…wins this match?

The entire arena shift their gaze to King Salman, who is still smiling. Slowly, the king speaks.

[ King Salman ] …Mansoor!

A big pop spreads through the arena as the camera cuts to Mansoor, on the floor, sweating. Suddenly, a smile breaks across his face and he slides into the ring, first kissing Princess Chloe on the hand before bowing on his knees to King Salman and standing up, lifting the SGW Saudi Arabian Championship over his head! The Rock’s face is scrunched up in confusion as he speaks again, watching as Mansoor and Princess Chloe exit the ring together to a small pop from the Jeddah fans.

[ The Rock ] Oh, oh, so you think that’s how this is gonna go, do ‘ya?!

The Translator steps in front of King Salman as the Rock begins berating him. Rock doesn’t hesitate and goes in as Rhodes and Ziggler very slowly exit the ring and the Jeddah fans watch carefully.

[ The Rock ] HEY! YOU! WILMER VALDERRAMA! The Rock says, Yo Mamma was a terrible show and you shoulda stuck to sucklin’ on Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis’ teets on the 70’s Show, mama – cause you SUCK! Get out of the Rock’s way!

The Rock pushes the Translator onto his ass as the fans in attendance flinch almost simultaneously.

[ The Rock ] YOU! YOU THERE! The Rock’s talkin’ to you!

The Rock begins snapping his fingers in King Salman’s face and getting his attention. The King turns to the Rock, still smiling. The Rock looks at him dead-ass in the face and makes the most goofy, facetious smile right back at him.

[ The Rock ] Whatcha’ smilin’ at, Snagglepuss?! The Rock wants to know just who – TELL THE ROCK WHO IN THE BLUE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE?!

As the Rock jabs the microphone towards the king, a rustling is heard at commentary.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Nigel? Nigel! The show’s not over yet, Best Buddy! Where’ya going?!

The king slowly leans into the Rock’s microphone and smiling, answers.

[ King Salman ] 'Ana King Salman aleazim , alkarim , allatif , walmawhub min almamlakat alearabiat alsaeudiat aleazimat , Dwayne! 'ana maejib kabir bifaylmik Fate of the Furious!

The Rock recoils his microphone and snarls his lips slightly, nodding his head at the king.

[ The Rock ] Huh – oh, oh OKAY! The Rock understands now, you’re a jokester, too, huh?! You’re disrespecting the Rock’s movies, you’re disrespecting the Rock, are’ya?! Well, Mister Snagglepuss, the Rock is inferring from the goofy hat on your old bearded head that you must just be the one and only King Osama-ba-lama Muhammad Osama-lama-ding-dong! That right, King Osamabalama! Mister King Osamabalama Muhammad Osamalamadingdong! CHANT IT!

The Jeddah crowd is dead quiet. Literally, a cricket chirps and it’s audible in the massive 100,000+ strong audience. The Rock shrugs his shoulders and continues.

[ The Rock ] The Rock’s microphone must have had a short in it, causing the millions and millions of the Rock’s fans here in Cheddar to not hear his request for a chant – but NO MATTER! IT DOESN’T MATTER, KING OSAMABALAMA! BECAUSE YOU’VE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE – YOU’VE DISRESPECTED THE ROCK’S BEST-NON-REY-MYSTERIO FRIEND, DOLPH ZIGGLER! YOU’VE DISRESPECTED THE ROCK, AND AS SUCH – THESE PEOPLE! YOU’VE DISRESPECTED THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, THE HOME OF THE ROCK – AND THESE CANNOT STAND!

To the sounds of silence which Simon nor Garfunkel could fathom, Rock begins pacing around the ring, coming to a dead stop in front of King Salman and lifts the microphone again.

[ The Rock ] The Rock has a final question, King Osamabalama, before he departs this God-forsaken land – how’s your dick?

The crowd gasp as King Salman’s eyes go wide – he’s unable to answer, though, as the Rock quickly finishes his thought.

[ The Rock ] ‘Cause it’s about to get knocked in the dirt!

And with all the fluidity he is known for, the Rock scoops up King Salman and drops him to the mat with a THUNDEROUS Rock Bottom to cries of outrage and terror from the Jeddah fans! Before the Rock can even stand up, a Saudi SWAT team has stormed into the ring! One riot guard has his arm on the back of the Rock’s neck, another two grab King Salman and carry him off as the feed cuts to black unceremoniously and suddenly.

End of transmission.