The control room.

Two armed guards stand on either side of the door.

A man in a trench coat and hood watches on a monitor as men and women arrive at the arena, escorted by guards. The camera slowly pans around to reveal that the man is wearing a black mask, obscuring his features. Over his shoulder, we see Kim Jong-un watching with a satisfied look on his face. The masked man speaks and his voice is heavily distorted, completely unrecognizable.

[ The Administrator ] Supreme Leader, the competitors are arriving for tonight's games.

Kim Jong-un nods and approaches from behind, standing next to The Administrator.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < Yes, yes. Very good. So many talented warriors, ready to die for my entertainment. I see Adam Cole and Alexa Bliss are among the cattle being led to slaughter, yes? Hm, very good. But where are the talents I asked for? I do not see world champion Honky Tonk Man or The Ultimate Warrior. I like when he shakes the ropes very much. >

[ The Administrator ] There were... complications in acquiring world champion Honky Tonk Man... also, The Ultimate Warrior was unavailable due to his death nearly a decade ago.

Kim Jong-un looks perturbed. He gestures toward the screen.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < As someone who cannot die, I sometimes forget how fragile the human life can be. However, I am pleased to see you did not disappoint in acquiring the services of Yokozuna. >

[ The Administrator ] That's Nikki Cross.

The corner of Kim Jong-un's mouth twitches and forms a satisfied smile, and a tiny dribble of saliva rolls over his bottom lip and onto one of his chins.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < She is fat and sexy. See that she is delivered to my quarters once the festivities have concluded. >

[ The Administrator ] As you wish, Supreme Leader.

Kim Jong-un rubs his sweaty hands together as he watches the talent of Solid Gold Wrestling arrive at the arena one by one. The Administrator stands by silently.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < I hope this event brings glory to all of North Korea as you promised it would. If the event does not deliver, it would be quite unfortunate... for you. >

[ The Administrator ] I will hold up my end of the bargain... as long as you hold up yours.

Kim Jong-un looks at the Administrator, wondering where he's found the audacity to make a comment like that. The Administrator looks right back at him and then slowly turns his head to look back at the monitors.

[ The Administrator ] With Solid Gold Wrestling banned in the United States after the chaos which occurred at SGW KILLS, it is my hope that tonight will mark the end of its existence once and for all. That is my gift to you, Supreme Leader... the final event in Solid Gold Wrestling history.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < Yes, yes... and with the conclusion of this most excellent final SGW event, I will execute a show of force which will echo across all of the world. My men are standing by with their fingers on the button... as the SGW and WLCW World Championships are unified for my amusement, all who have purchased this event live on pay-per-view shall witness a test launch... yes, North Korea's long range nuclear warheads are complete! The world will bow to us, the greatest nation of them all, or risk drowning in nuclear fire! >

[ The Administrator ] Truly, by the end of the night, the rest of the world will know who holds the power.

DARK MATCH

KACY CATANZARO def. THEA HAIL via PINFALL in 4:02

PRE-SHOW MATCH

LEGACY PRO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE BAR (c) vs. THE BEST FRIENDS
CESARO & SHEAMUS vs. CHUCK TAYLOR & TRENT?

Cesaro and Sheamus went to work early on, bludgeoning Chuck and Trent with heavy strikes. The North Korean fans were aggressively in favor of The Bar, showing zero love for the Best Friends, disgusted by the sight of two shirtless males hugging each other. Toward the end of the match, Orange Cassidy got involved but was captured by Cesaro. Cesaro executed the giant swing... but Orange Cassidy fell asleep during it and was unfazed. After distracting Sheamus with the hand grenade spot, Chuck Taylor managed to knock him out of the ring with a dropkick. Cesaro handled both Best Friends AND Orange Cassidy on his own before Sheamus returned to the ring. A miscommunication led to Sheamus hitting Cesaro with the BROGUE KICK, knocking him unconscious. Behind Rick Knox's back, Orange Cassidy nailed Sheamus with the Orange Punch and sent him to the floor! With Cesaro knocked loopy by his own partner, he was an easy mark for STRONG ZERO and the three count was academic, ending their historic 673 day title reign.

WINNERS & NEW CHAMPIONS
THE BEST FRIENDS via PINFALL in 8:59

Backstage.

Edge and Christian look around the bright white corridor around them. They can hear the rumble of the fans in the arena above them. Masked guards in pink jumpsuits walk past them casually. Edge and Christian watch them go by with uneasy eyes. Finally, Edge exhales deeply and shakes his head.

[ Edge ] This all seems... a little much, right?

[ Christian Cage ] It's kind of lame, honestly. Where's the spread, bro?

[ Edge ] Seriously? We're in North Korea, surrounded by armed guards, and you're worried about the spread?

Christian looks taken aback.

[ Christian Cage ] Dude, how are we supposed to have Johnny Blue Jeans eat a sandwich off the floor if there's no sandwiches for a conveniently timed brawl to knock on the floor?

Edge just glares at Christian, then raises one finger.

[ Edge ] First, excellent callback to the Johnny Blue Jeans gag. Second, Morrison isn't even booked tonight--

He shakes his head, visibly annoyed.

[ Edge ] Third, what is it with you and people eating sandwiches off the floor-- you know what? Forget it. We're in North Korea, putting on a fully licensed Solid Gold Wrestling event. How did this even happen? What the hell are we DOING here?

Christian huffs in disbelief.

[ Christian Cage ] The fans demanded it, man. And the money we got offered? Insane! But it was mostly the fans... but also the money.

Edge sighs, staring a hole through him.

[ Christian Cage ] It was the money. It was so much money.

[ Edge ] But why? Why would they offer us so much money when SGW is... it's done, man. It's damaged goods. It's banned in the United States and, I mean... a partnership with North Korea isn't gonna do much to repair any of that.

Christian shrugs.

[ Christian Cage ] Look, man... I believe in my heart that Double J would want us to have this last payday before SGW goes dark once and for all.

[ Edge ] Would he, though?

Christian smirks and nods.

[ Edge ] Yeah, I guess he would.

We hear an engine revving from deep in the corridor. Seconds later, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin comes around the corner on an ATV, clipping one of the masked soldiers on his way around and knocking him down! Austin pays the man no mind and keeps driving, stopping only inches away from Edge and Christian. Austin reaches into a cooler on the back of the ATV and cracks open a beer. He takes a drink of it.

[ Edge ] Uh, what's up, Steve?

[ Steve Austin ] Ya'll down here lookin', too?

Edge and Christian exchange a look.

[ Edge ] Looking? For what?

[ Steve Austin ] For what?! What the hell do you mean, what!?

Austin climbs off the ATV and tosses the beer on the floor.

[ Steve Austin ] Lookin' for Double J, ya' dumb son of a bitch!

[ Christian Cage ] Why would he be here?

[ Steve Austin ] Why would he be here?! Christian Cage, you're even dumber than you LOOK, son! Why the hell wouldn't he be here, huh!? WHAT?! I SAID WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T HE BE HERE!? Ain't it obvious?!

Austin glares right at them with an icy cold stare.

[ Steve Austin ] OBVIOUSLY HE'S BEEN TAKEN BY THESE DAMN KO-REANS!

Edge takes a step forward, speaking through gritted teeth.

[ Edge ] Dude, keep that kinda' talk down. There is ZERO evidence that's what happened.

[ Christian Cage ] Yeah, man. Do you wanna die?

Austin slowly turns his head to Christian.

[ Steve Austin ] Are you threatenin' ol' Stone Cold, limp dick?

Christian quickly averts his eyes.

[ Christian Cage ] Uh, no.

Edge puts his hand on Austin's shoulder. Austin turns and looks down at Edge's hand. Edge quickly removes the hand and places it at his side.

[ Edge ] Nobody's threatening you, Steve... but we're in North Korea, if you haven't noticed. People who say things like... "the Koreans kidnapped my friend" loud enough for people to hear, not to mention in a building where Kim Jong-un himself is present-- those people tend to disappear!

Austin smirks and opens the cooler, removing another beer. He cracks it open and pours it all over his face, then tosses the can behind him. It clatters on the floor.

[ Christian Cage ] That seems really wasteful.

[ Steve Austin ] Lot o' people have tried to disappear ol' Stone Cold over the last thirty years, ain't nobody been able t' do it yet. If that mealy mouthed Supreme Leader wants t' give it a go, he's gonna find out the hard way that the Texas Rattlesnake is one SUPREME SONUVAAAABITCH WITH TWO MIDDLE FINGERS 'N A TEXAS SIZED BELT BUCKLE I'LL SMASH OVER HIS LITTLE BITTY HEAD AND THEN SHOVE RIGHT UP HIS ASS!! NOW GIMME A HELL YEAH!

Edge and Christian look at each other, horrified.

[ Steve Austin ] I said gimme a HELL YEAH!

[ Edge ] Uh, yeah-- hell yeah, Steve.

[ Christian Cage ] Right on. Hell yeah, dude.

Austin points at both of them.

[ Steve Austin ] That's god damn right! Tonight, I'ma find out which one o' these Ko-reans kidnapped Double J and if they ain't none of'em willin' t' talk then I'll burn this son of a bitch to the ground!

[ Edge ] You're gonna burn North Korea to the ground?

[ Christian Cage ] That's gonna take a while.

[ Steve Austin ] Well, I hope ya'll packed a damn lunch because we'll be workin' overtime tonight if I don't get my hands on Double J... AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LIIIIIIIIIIIINE-- say it with me now!

He tilts his head back and shouts.

[ Steve Austin ] 'CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SOOOOOOO!

[ Edge ] --'cause Stone Cold said so.

[ Christian Cage ] --said so.

Without another word, Austin climbs onto the ATV and drives off into the distance, clipping another masked guard on the way out. Edge and Christian watch him until he's fully out of sight.

[ Edge ] He's gonna get us all killed.

[ Christian Cage ] Yep.

Fade.

A large slide has been set up outside of the ring with Christopher Daniels and Ezekiel standing in front of it. Frankie Kazarian is taking in his surroundings.

[ The Administrator ] Gentlemen, once the horn sounds, our next game will begin. The first man who reaches the top of the slide by running up it will have one of two match stipulations chosen. The winner of the slide competition determines which stipulation the SGW Television Championship is defended.

A horn sounds and Ezekiel and Christopher Daniels scuffle with one another, jockeying for position at the bottom of the slide. Each man works their way onto it, but neither gains an advantage with the other frantically trying to keep the other from gaining ground. The fans are starting to become restless as we're not really getting anywhere.

[ Scott Steiner ] THIS FUCKING SUCKS!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It.. It is ratha' borin' watchin' two adult men try to run up a slide.

Kazarian finally steps in and wraps his arms around Ezekiel's legs, preventing him from going anywhere. This opening allows Christopher Daniels to break free and stumble his way up the slide to the top, winning the game!

[ The Administrator ] Congratulations to Mr. Daniels for winning the game. As we discussed earlier this evening, his victory means the following game will be played under.. Title versus Career rules. The winner will leave with the Television Championship. The loser will never compete in Solid Gold Wrestling again.

Daniels slides down the slide and looks Ezekiel in the eyes. They both realize the stakes are even higher than they anticipated.

[ The Administrator ] However, in the interest of further entertaining the Supreme Leader, Frankie Kazarian's interference into the game will lead to another stipulation being added.

Kazarian gulps.

[ The Administrator ] For every failed pin attempt in the match, Frankie Kazarian will receive three lashes with a bamboo cane. Ring the bell.

REFEREE: AUBREY EDWARDS | STIPULATION: TITLE VS. CAREER

The bell sounds and Daniels and Ezekiel get into the ring. Aubrey Edwards displays the Television Championship to the fans in attendance and the match has began. Kazarian is on the outside, begging and pleading with each man not to attempt any pins. A collar-and-elbow starts us off and Ezekiel uses his size to back Daniels into a corner, breaking at a three count. Daniels slaps Ezekiel in the face and chops him across the chest, which Ezekiel doesn't sell whatsoever. Clothesline to Daniels! Another! Daniels slides out of the ring to the outside.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Christopher Daniels has been the TV champion for quite a while, but he's facing his toughest challenge yet! We don't know a lot about this man, Ezekiel, at all, guys.

[ Scott Steiner ] EXCEPT FOR THE FUCKIN' FACT THAT HE'S ELIAS!

[ Tony Schiavone ] No, Scott. See, Elias is his older brother.

[ Scott Steiner ] THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON, GOD DAMMIT!

Back inside, Daniels kicks Ezekiel in the gut and whips him into the ropes. He ducks a clothesline attempt and hits Ezekiel with a leg sweep. Daniels hops on top for a one count. Daniels gets up and realizes what he's done.

An armed guard appears with a bamboo cane and wastes no time cracking it across Kazarian's back three times. Daniels cringes and apologizes. Ezekiel uses the opportunity to roll Daniels up for a quick two count! The guard, again, cracks the cane across Kazarian's back, dropping him to his knees.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I'm willin' ta' bet Kaz doesn't get involved in another game here tonight!

Daniels controls the match, having his way with the rookie. A bodyslam is instantly followed by a BEST! MOONSAULT! EVER! But Daniels immediately rolls off as not to pin Ezekiel. A leg drop follows and Daniels plays to the fans. His wasting time comes back to bite him, as Ezekiel hits the ropes and dives over him, bringing him down for a sunset flip! One, two!

Daniels uses his body weight to lean forward to pin Ezekiel. One, two.. Ezekiel brings Daniels back down for a pin - One, two! Daniels reverses and jumps to his feet - Crucifix pin! One, two, kickout! Ezekiel hits an inside cradle - one, two, th- kickout! Daniels lunges and grabs Ezkiel and takes him down again with a Crucifix. One, kickout! He rolls him over. One, kickout! Daniels continues rolling around the world, getting one counts with Kaz screaming for him to stop. One, kickout! One, two, kickout! One, kickout! It finally stops and the guard approaches Kazarian.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] By my calculations, Frankie Kazarian is soon to receive TWENTY-SEVEN lashes with the cane!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Dear Lord!

Kazarian begins begging for mercy, but none is shown. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! One after another with no remorse shown. Halfway through, Kaz pukes all over himself and the floor, but the guard continues the onslaught, finally getting to 27 and stopping. Kaz drops to his knees, all in the puddle of puke on the floor, and his back looks like bloody hamburger meat. Daniels looks in horror at his friend and looks to Ezekiel, "LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!"

[ Tony Schiavone ] He's blaming Ezekiel! Christopher Daniels is the one who did the Texas Tumbleweed!

[ Scott Steiner ] CHRISTOPHER DANIELS IS DUMB AS SHIT! JUST LIKE THIS MATCH!

"You're going to pay for this!" Daniels lunges at Ezekiel and gets hit with a powerslam! Ezekiel picks Daniels up and throws him over his shoulders with a Fallaway Slam. Ezekiel watches in wait as Daniels gets to his feet. He charges towards the champion, but Daniels reverses his momentum into a Blue Thunder Bomb! BEST! MOONSAULT! EVER! Daniels picks Ezekiel up - ANGEL'S WINGS! He's hit Ezekiel with an onslaught and he covers. One.. two.. thre- kickout at the last second! How did Ezekiel do it?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] My Lord. Three more lashes for Kazarian! I just knew Daniels had the match won there!

Kaz cannot even get to his feet, so the guard cracks the cane over a bloody spot in the middle of his back. Then an errant shot catches Kaz on the back of the next while the third lash bends the cane over his shoulders. Daniels wipes a tear from his eye and turns around - kick to the gut! DDT! Daniels pops right back up. Enziguri! Daniels again pulls himself up with the ropes. "C'MON YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Daniels taunts Ezekiel with a burst of FIGHTING SPIRIT~! Ezekiel then picks Daniels up in a vertical suplex position, BRAINBUSTER! One.. two.. three! We have a new champion!

WINNER & NEW CHAMPION
EZEKIEL via PINFALL in 9:11

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I give Christopher Daniels credit. He went out in a blaze of glory! He showed more moxy, more fighting spirit, more pride in his craft tonight than eva' before!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It's the last time we'll ever see The Fallen Angel in an SGW ring, but what a memorable match it was. I'm not Dave Meltzer, but I'd give it five stars.

[ Scott Steiner ] FIVE STARS?! ARE YOU FUCKIN' STUPID, SCHIAVONE?! THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THIS MATCH WAS WATCHIN' KAZARIAN PISS HIS PANTS AND PUKE HIMSELF TO DEATH EVERY TIME HE GOT HIT WITH THAT STICK! I'M NOT A BETTIN' MAN, BUT I'M WILLING TO BET THAT IF YOU PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS, BESIDES THE PISS, HE'D HAVE SHIT ALL OVER HIS TIGHTY WHITEY UNDERWEAR!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Scott Steiner with only the journalistic reactions that he can provide.

Kazarian is tended to by a ringside doctor while Aubrey Edwards hands Ezekiel the Television Championship. Daniels rips it away from him and shakes his head. Daniels then kisses the faceplate and looks to be choking up.

[ Tony Schiavone ] He absolutely vomited on that title at SGW KILLS. I hope it's been cleaned.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Less than a ten percent chance there, Tony.

Daniels wraps the title around Ezekiel's waist and diligently snaps it tightly. Daniels bows to Ezekiel and waves to the fans in attendance. He then exits the ring, giving the spotlight to the new SGW Television Champion.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Helluva run, Christopher Daniels. Helluva run.

Daniels stops at the top of the ramp and waves goodbye to the fans in attendance, leaving his best friend, Kazarian, lying bloody in a puddle of his own vomit. A perfect way to sum up their entire run in SGW. They experienced the highest of highs and truly, the lowest of lows.

Tension.

Britt Baker paces back and forth.

She shakes her head with disgust at the sound of an engine revving nearby, outside the dressing room door. Only a few feet away, Adam Cole calmly tapes his wrists and then opens and closes his hands in front of him. He stands up, gently hopping in place and then takes a deep breath. Baker doesn't share his focus.

[ Britt Baker ] Can you believe that asshole is seriously out there driving around on an ATV? How did he even get that thing in the arena? The guards took my fucking chapstick when they searched my bag, but he gets to keep his four-wheeler?!

Cole smirks, turning to face her.

[ Adam Cole ] Who gives a shit what he's doing? If anything, he's doing me a favor. The more he worries about finding Jeff Jarrett, the less he's focusing on our match... and I already beat that stupid old man when all he cared about was shutting me and The Origin down. This is gonna be easy.

Britt still doesn't look satisfied.

[ Britt Baker ] Unless this is all part of some twisted plan. He's been going at it with Jarrett for years. Austin destroyed Jarrett's Golden Rule back in the stone age, then Jarrett retaliated thirty-five years later by nuking Seven Star Pro from orbit--

Cole shakes his head, raising his hand slightly and cutting her off.

[ Adam Cole ] Britt, seriously... what are you getting at?

[ Britt Baker ] --STEVE AUSTIN OBVIOUSLY MURDERED JEFF JARRETT!

Cole just looks at her.

[ Britt Baker ] I can't seriously be the only person who sees this.

[ Adam Cole ] Of course not... but everyone's pointing fingers. Austin, the Koreans, any old promoter from the territory wars... I've even seen some people namedrop yours truly on Twitter.

Britt scoffs.

[ Britt Baker ] Please, you can't be serious.

[ Adam Cole ] What, you don't think I'm capable? Don't forget who took Jeff Jarrett out in the first place. I'm actually shocked Austin hasn't come knocking yet-- wait... unless he remembers the beating I gave him at Supremacy--

He points at her, smiling ear to ear.

[ Adam Cole ] --hey! Remember when the Big Nasty threw him off the roof of the arena? Holy shit.

Britt rolls her eyes.

[ Britt Baker ] Yeah, and I remember when Austin tried to feed you to a pack of hungry dogs. Also, rest in peace, Big Nasty.

Cole crosses himself and halfheartedly points at the ceiling.

[ Adam Cole ] Oh yeah, he did die, didn't he? Anyway, Austin knows better than to cross me right before our match tonight. I don't care if he's a former world champion or whatever accomplishments Alex Shelley earned. He might have beaten Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Championship, but Chris Jericho wasn't the leader of The Origin.

He points at himself with his thumb.

[ Adam Cole ] I was.

He turns his back to Britt and cracks his knuckles.

[ Adam Cole ] And those two so-called legends are gonna find out I'm even more dangerous on my own.

Britt looks around the room and nods.

[ Britt Baker ] I just realized this is the first time we've been in an SGW dressing room in ages without the fucking piss smell that followed Shane Douglas wherever he went.

Cole grits his teeth and looks down at the floor.

[ Adam Cole ] ...did you really have to step on my sweet go-home line like that?

Britt smiles and shakes her head.

[ Britt Baker ] Whatever. Jesus Christ.

Fade.

Back ringside, Mike Chioda is explaining the rules to the four men in our next bout. John Cena and Roman Reigns are on one side while Samoa Joe and Bron Breakker are on the other. A large, thick rope rests in between them.

[ The Administrator ] Our next game is a Tug of War Challenge. The rules are simple: Each side of the rope has an orange flag on it. Whichever team pulls their opponents' flag across the center line wins. The winning team determines the mystery stipulation for our match.

Cena grabs the rope with Roman behind him. Bron Breakker anchors his side with Samoa Joe up front. A gunshot rings out and the four men begin pulling with all of their might, neither gaining any ground early on, but exhausting a lot of energy in the process.

The back and forth affair's stalemate is broken as Cena and Roman use their collective momentum to gain on Joe and Bron, pulling the rope closer and closer to the center mark until finally it crosses the center line, giving them the victory. All four men collapse in a heap on the ground, puffing and trying to catch their breaths, knowing a match is about to start.

[ The Administrator ] Congratulations John Cena and Roman Reigns. With this victory, our match will be contested under Elimination Rules.

The four men enter the ring and take their corners.

[ The Administrator ] However, I would like to make this more interesting for the entertainment of the Supreme Leader. Participants may only be eliminated.. By First Blood rules.

Three of the four men drop their heads, but the fourth, Samoa Joe, licks his chops. He is pumped about the match stipulation and looks instantly ready to rock n' roll upon hearing it.

REFEREE: MIKE CHIODA | STIPULATION: FIRST BLOOD ELIM.

The bell sounds and Samoa Joe wastes no time picking his first victim, going straight for his own partner, Bron Breakker! He backs the rookie into the corner and begins delivering stiff body shots while Roman Reigns and John Cena take on one another in the middle of the ring.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What a contest we have here. The four men in here represent multiple generations of our sport and are absolute freaks of nature.

[ Scott Steiner ] BRON BREAKKER LEARNED EVERYTHING HE EVER WANTED FROM ME! 'BOUT LIFE, LOVE, AND PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! IF HE DOESN'T WIN, I'LL GET IN THERE AND BLOODY FAT JOE MYSELF!

Roman dumps Cena to the outside and the fight is on out there while Samoa Joe continues his onslaught inside the ring. He hits Bron with an enziguri and sits him on top of the turnbuckle, attempting a Muscle Buster, but Bron blocks it and instead hits a diving clothesline onto Joe! He immediately stands wait and as Joe gets to his feet, Bron scoops him up effortlessly for a big powerslam!

On the outside, Roman Reigns and John Cena battle around the timekeeper's table. Cena runs at Roman, who scoops him up and crashes him through the table with a Samoan Drop! Roman talks some trash and grabs a steel chair.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It looks like the Tribal Chief is ready to create our first elimination!

[ Tony Schiavone ] John Cena is in a world of hurt.

Roman lifts the chair above his head and swings wildy, but Cena catches it inches from his face! The two men fight back and forth for control of the chair until Cena lets go, causing the chair to smack Reigns across the face. With it still held up, Cena runs and jumps off the middle ring step and drop kicks the chair into Reigns' face! Cena picks up the chair and places it down on Roman's face. He presses it down with his right foot while saluting.

"THIS IS FOR AMERICA! LAND THAT I LOVE!"

[ Scott Steiner ] WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?! ROMAN REIGNS IS AMERICAN!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That's a good catch, Scott. John Cena, foreva' the patriot!

STOMP! Cena stomps the chair against Roman's face, and he rolls over, covering his face. Roman has blood gushing from his nose and he is eliminated!

ELIMINATED
ROMAN REIGNS

Cena nods at Reigns and mouths, "I'm sorry." Wasting no time, Cena slides right into the ring and gets in the middle of Samoa Joe and Bron, who are colliding into one another with repeated shoulder blocks.

[ Tony Schiavone ] As the old saying goes, this is 'big, sweaty men slapping meat!'

[ Nigel McGuinness ] There's a lot of beef in that ring, that's for sure!

[ Scott Steiner ] BUT THEIR PEAKS AIN'T AS HIGH AS BIG POPPA PUMP'S! THEIR FREAKS AIN'T AS HOT AS THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY'S! THEIR SGW LEGACIES AIN'T SHIT COMPARED TO ME!

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is literally all of their first times in SGW at this very moment! One of the men is your own nephew, Scott! Don't you get tired of screaming and cursing all show long for no reason?

[ Scott Steiner ] SOMETIMES!

Bron and Cena team up on Joe, whipping him into the ropes and attempting a double clothesline, but Joe breaks through their grip and hits the other ropes, coming back with a double clothesline of his own! He grabs Cena by the head and begins punting him repeatedly between the eyes. Breakker Germans Samoa Joe and he slides to the outside. Cena picks Bron up on his shoulders and Snake Eyes him on the turnbuckle and then hits a face plant bulldog. Samoa Joe comes back in with a broken shard of the table and begins looking for someone to stab with it.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Samoa Joe has rage in his eyes and only the taste of blood can quench his thirst!

Joe goes for Bron, who swats the broken piece of table away and then hits a snap suplex. Cena picks it up but Bron hits a belly to belly on him and takes control of the table piece. Joe goes to the outside and digs underneath the ring. He comes out with a chain, a tool box, and a bag of thumbtacks. Throwing the items into the ring, Joe then follows and blindsides Bron from behind. He uses the free second to dump the tacks in the middle of the ring, drawing "OooOoohhh's!" from the audience.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is bad news, guys.

Joe sizes up Bron, but out of nowhere, Cena picks Joe up and gives him the Attitude Adjustment on the tacks! Wasting no time, he rolls Joe over and locks in the STFU and Samoa Joe looks like a pin cushion!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Samoa Joe is covered in tacks but there's no blood!

Cena rears back on the STFU and Bron breaks it up with a chain to the back of Cena's head. Bron surveys the scene and thinks quickly on his feet by beginning to pluck tacks from Joe's arms and stomach as quickly as he can. Upon doing so, small lines of blood begin trickling out of the wounds and Mike Chioda signals that Samoa Joe is eliminated!

ELIMINATED
SAMOA JOE

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT HAS TO BE THE MOST LACKLUSTER ELIMINATION IN A FIRST BLOOD MATCH FUCKIN' EVER! INSTEAD OF CAVIN' FAT JOE'S HEAD IN, HE JUST RANDOMLY MAKES HIM BLEED?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND! THIS SUCKS!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Your nephew is lookin' ta' win by any means necessary!

Infuriated by the elimination, Samoa Joe gets up and headbutts Cena between the eyes and begins trying to choke Breakker. Cena clotheslines Joe over the top rope and gets him out of the ring. We are down to the final two participants in this elimination match. Joe kicks the ring steps and flips over a table on his way to the back.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well, it's safe to say Samoa Joe isn't going to make it on the plane ride back with us at this rate. I'm willing to bet he vanishes in the night for all of this property damage. Samoa Joe, I will miss you, buddy!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tony, mate, are ya' buddies with all of these guys or are you just using the word?

[ Tony Schiavone ] I have friends!

Cena and Breakker have a stand off in the center of the ring. Breakker uses his right foot to sweep as many of the tacks out of the way as possible. Cena swings widly but Bron ducks and hits a back body drop! He mounts Cena and begins punching him in the face reapeatedly.

[ Tony Schiavone ] That'll do it here! Those fists are huge!

One punch after another is delivered to Cena's brows, but he manages to find a way to get Bron off of him and finds an opening. Running shoulder block on Bron! Another! "YOU CAN'T SEE ME!" FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Cena gets to his feet and has an idea. He grabs a handful of tacks and puts them in Bron's mouth and then takes the chain Samoa Joe introduced and wraps it around his fist. He hits the ropes, stops, dusts his shoulder off.. FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE WITH THE CHAIN! Tacks fly out of Bron's mouth and blood pours from Bron's mouth with the impact! Cena rests on his knees, looking down at the carnage he's been part of.

WINNER
JOHN CENA in 11:29

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The bloodshed was brutal at times, but John Cena won the match! You can tell these men weren't comfortable with the stipulation, and the only one who was, brought all of the instruments of danger into this match and never really got busted open. Nevertheless, John Cena is your winna'!

Cena picks Bron off the mat and pats him on the back, apologizing for what he did. Bron spits out the remaining tacks and wipes the blood off of his lips. Cena raises Bron's arm in the air and screams, "THE FUTURE OF SGW!" He looks into the camera and spells "U-S-A" by writing in the air.

[ Scott Steiner ] WAY TO GO, JOHN CENA! PUTTIN' U-S-A ON NORTH KOREAN TELEVISION WON'T GET YOUR ASS KILLED OR ANYTHING!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Even in the loss, your nephew looks to have a bright future in SGW!

[ Scott Steiner ] SGDUBYA IS DEAD AFTER TONIGHT AND EVEN IF IT WASN'T, HE AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR CLOSE TO BEIN' THE MOST DECORATED WORLD CHAMPION OF ALL TIME LIKE ME!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Nobody said he was!

Cena climbs to the four turnbuckles and salutes to the fans in attendance as the scene fades.

Edge and Christian are being escorted down a long hallway by armed guards on either side of them. They nervously look around at their surroundings.

[ Edge ] I'm starting to think that maybe we shouldn't have done this.

[ Christian ] What do you mean? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity!

[ Edge ] Yeah. As in we're probably not going to make it out of here alive.

Christian scoffs.

[ Christian ] Calm down, big bro. I think everything is going great. We're such big deals that we have armed security and everything!

[ Edge ] I.. I don't think they're here to protect us..

The group stops at a barricaded door with two armed guards on either side. One of the guards pounds on the door four times and returns to position.

[ Edge ] Wonderful. Guess we're about to get murdered.

The door opens with The Administrator as the first person we see behind it.

[ The Administrator ] This way.

The door opens wider and one of the guards shoves Edge and Christian inside against their will.

[ The Administrator ] The Supreme Leader wants to meet you.

[ Christian ] Awesome!

[ Edge ] Dude! Stop.

[ The Administrator ] Follow me.

The Administrator turns and Edge and Christian reluctantly follow him. Stopping in his tracks, The Administrator bows to the guest of honor.. Kim Jong-un, the Supreme Leader of North Korea.

[ Christian ] Hello, Supreme Leader.

Christian bows and Edge elbows him in the ribs.

[ Christian ] Hey!

[ Edge ] We don't bow to dictators, man!

[ Christian ] Oh, sure, and we didn't take the Saudi Prince's money and gave Mansoor a title or anything.

Kim Jong-un looks pleased to see the two standing in front of him. He takes a puff from a big cigar and remains seated behind a desk with the show playing on a monitor behind him.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < It is your honor to be here tonight. We do not let much from the West into our country, but Solid Gold is always welcome. >

[ The Administrator ] He says it is your honor to be here and Solid Gold Wrestling is always welcomed here.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < The show has been enjoyable thus far. You have brought all the stars I requested except for one. Where is Chris Benoit, SGW Hardcore Champion? >

[ The Administrator ] Supreme Leader asks why you did not bring Chris Benoit.

Edge lowers his head.

[ Edge ] This is seriously how we die? Not bringing Chris Benoit, mass-murderer?

[ Christian ] I got this.

Christian steps towards Jong-un and clears his throat.

[ Christian ] Mr. Kim Jong-un.. You see.. Uh.. Chris Benoit, many years ago, got very angry at his son and wife and put them in the Crippler Crossface. They each fought valiantly, refusing to submit, so Chris did what he had to do as the dominant head of household. After the rage subsided and he realized what he did, he went to work out and had a terrible accident, choking himself to death. Huge tragedy. Our nation still mourns the loss to this day.

Edge shakes his head.

[ Edge ] No, no it doesn't.

He sighs.

[ Edge ] Also God bless, brother. That was a super inconsiderate revisionist history of a double murder.

Kim Jong-un's eyes light up, almost as if he can understand what Christian is saying. He then smiles while ashing his cigar.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < Speaking of murder, I really enjoyed all the death and killing at SGW KILLS! One of your finest shows. Please do more of that, including here tonight. >

[ The Administrator ] The Supreme Leader says he enjoyed the death and killing at SGW KILLS. He thinks it was one of SGW's finest shows. He also hopes you do more of that here tonight.

Christian looks to Edge and shrugs.

[ Christian ] We haven't really planned on killing anyone, but we could? Where's Harry Smith? We could just kill Christopher Daniels or something.

[ Edge ] No. There will be no murders tonight.

He quickly thinks it over.

[ Edge ] I don't think, anyway.

Edge looks to The Administrator, seemingly the only person here tonight not impressed by the environment.

[ Edge ] Tell "Supreme Leader" that Christian and I say thank you for the opportunity to run a show here since we were banned in America. We hope it's a mutually beneficial venture for each of us. And if he doesn't mind, we have a show to oversee that we'd like to get back to.

The Administrator nods.

[ The Administrator ] The Supermarket Brawl is next. He looks very much forward to it.

[ Edge ] Yeah. That was a real fun one to book...

Edge waves to Jong-un.

[ Edge ] Nice meetin' ya'.

Armed guards surround Edge and Christian, escorting them out of the office and back to the hallway. Edge lets out a sigh of relief as Christian nods in approval.

[ Christian ] I think that went pretty well.

He continues.

[ Christian ] I kind of like that guy. He's actually pretty cool.

[ Edge ] Really, bro?

The scene fades.

We get an establishing shot of a North Korean supermarket, the parking lot devoid of all life spare for the cameraman bravely filming the footage you are watching. Inside, we see a long panning shot through the aisles, all just as empty as the parking lot outside. The entire scene is eerily bleak, as there is hardly anything other than the cold metal structures and empty freezers, simply reminders that a supermarket used to exist — in better times at least.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is the most horrible thing I have ever seen in my life!

[ Scott Steiner ] You’re fucking telling me! What the fuck is a Supermarket Bra?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Scott, that’s ‘BRAWL,’ your thumb is covering the ‘WL’ on the format, there.

[ Tony Schiavone ] No, Scott! Look at the supermarket! There’s no food anywhere, no produce, no fruit, no meat, no Kraft macaroni and cheese for God’s sake!

Nigel McGuinness swallows hard, not saying anything as the camera acknowledges Rick Knox stepping through the automated doors to the depressingly vacant supermarket. He takes a few steps into the store, looking just past the view of the cameraman and speaking to a person we cannot see.

[ Rick Knox ] Oh, you’re here! I thought…hoped…that there had been a change of plans and you two had settled this in a less violent way…

Another camera points toward a register, concealed in shadows. A voice speaks from the darkness.

[ Unknown ] No. Violence is the only answer for a traitor like Misao.

[ Rick Knox ] But you two were Twinstar Champions! I thought you guys were good friends. I may not know much in this world, but I let a young Japanese girl teach me a lot about friendship last year, and I bet that you two girls can make amends and become even better friends than before.

A laugh from the darkness.

[ Unknown ] Yeah? Well…

The figure steps forward, one flickering fluorescent bulb illuminating the features of their face as they do.

[ Nia Jax ] …I’m not like most girls.

Naja’s face cuts towards the entrance of the supermarket, watching ominously before turning back to Rick Knox.

[ Nia Jax ] Finally. It’s feeding time.

Knox scrunches his eyebrows before the automated doors were open, allowing SGW Women’s Intercontinental Champion Hyper Misao to come blazing into view on her trusty bicycle. The heroine and multi-time Solid Gold Wrestling Champion leaps backwards off the bicycle, allowing it to hurdle through the center aisle and off into the darkness of the vacant supermarket. After a quick and decidedly heroic pose, Misao looks towards her former partner with an unmistakable regret in her eyes.

[ Hyper Misao ] This… does not… have happened to!

Nia throws her head back and cackles, her wild hair bouncing with volume as she does.

[ Nia Jax ] No! No, this does have happened to! I’m going to grind your bones into my bread and make a delicious Misao and Cheese sandwich! It’s feeding time!

[ Rick Knox ] …holy shit, man…

REFEREE: RICK KNOX | STIPULATION: SUPERMARKET BRAWL

Nia charges, wrapping her catcher’s mitt hands around Misao’s throat and driving her backwards, into one of the many vacant aisles as Rick Knox follows, quickly lifting the SGW Women’s Intercontinental Championship up for the camera. Before the two women can tear into one another any further, there’s a light chime and a voice speaks, slightly distorted, over the market’s PA system.

[ The Administrator ] Attention, shoppers: There’s a special on Aisle 4 –Free Cricket Bats with any purchase…get ‘em while you can…

Another quick chime and Nia Jax’s eyes are wide, energized, and she looks towards the ceiling, the flickering lights in the building illuminating the ‘3’ on the sign above them.

[ Nia Jax ] YES! Four is after three, so I’m very close to the Blue Light Special! It’s Feeding Time!

[ Scott Steiner ] WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE KEEP SAYING THAT?!

Nia shoves Misao by her throat and works towards the front of the store, not even eyeing the door which would give her the victory and the SGW Women’s Intercontinental Championship but focusing solely on Aisle 4. With Rick Knox in tow, Nia enters the aisle and sees a single wooden crate, halfway down the aisle, with a pair of cricket bats sticking out. Nia stomps down the aisle and grabs one of the bats, twirling it in her hand before turning towards Knox, a snarl across her face.

[ Hyper Misao ] AHOY!

Nia and Knox look up to find Misao, perched atop the highest shelf on one side of the aisle. The emerald-clad Intercontinental Champion stands up, points to the heavens, crashing her hand through the ceiling tile above. Undeterred, she bellows:

[ Hyper Misao ] I! AM A HERO!

AND DIVES! Misao soars through the aisle with a crossbody block, smashing into Nia and knocking over an entire section of empty shelf beneath them! Misao and Jax groan in pain as Misao hooks the leg instinctually, only realizing after seven seconds that pinfalls do not count – only escaping the supermarket earns the win!

Misao rolls off of her opponent, sitting on the ground beside her former tag team partner – but Nia swings the cricket bat, still in her hand, smashing it right into Misao’s right shoulder! Misao cries out and moves out of Jax’s path, but Nia stands, her gear torn in the back from having landed on the sharp edges of the shelves. She Unlike Most Girls quickly picks up the second cricket bat and twirls them both in her hands before slowly, slasher-movie-style stalking Misao, who crawls out of Aisle 4 and towards Aisle 5.

[ Scott Steiner ] I WISH ONE OF THESE BROADS WOULD PICK UP SOME FUCKIN’ MICHELOB FOR ME WHILE THEY’RE THERE, THIS SHOW IS THE SHITS!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I don’t like your odds, Scott…

The SGW Intercontiental Champion (for now) continues crawling towards Aisle Five, looking down it – empty! She keeps hustling, on her elbows and knees towards Aisle Six – but it, too, is empty! Misao holds an empty hand miserably to the sky, seemingly asking ‘why?!’ as she keeps crawling, JUST out of the way of the maniacally stalking Nia Jax.

Another light chime.

[ The Administrator ] …lots of opportunities for healthy violence in the freezer section…empty shelves and glass doors are a perfect recipe…for pain.

With Knox walking normally between the army crawling Misao and the Voorhesian Nia Jax, you’re treated to a view of empty shelf after empty shelf, each aisle more vacant and barren than the last.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is just a terrible reflection of this grocery chain! It’s so empty!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tony, the store is empty because of the food shortage in North Korea. The residents of North Korea are starving and that’s why there’s nothing at all on the shelves.

Schiavone sniffles, then heaves audibly as Misao seeks refuge behind a stack of handbaskets. Rick Knox looks back at Nia Jax, who laughs to herself.

[ Tony Schiavone ] …oh, no! No! Why won’t Kim Jong-un just feed his people?! There’s thousands dying of starvation and he won’t just stop this…

Schiavone snorts in sadness as Nia swings her first cricket bat, smashing a chunk of the baskets! Again, she swings and another chunk of baskets flies off! A final swing – and the baskets are destroyed – but no Hyper Misao?!

[ Nia Jax ] HEY! What the hell, Scott?! Where’s my former partner turned rival, Scott? Scott?! SCOTT!?

From behind, Hyper Misao rushes with a shopping cart in tow – knocking Nia into the cart from behind and pushing straight forward – right into the freezers! Misao gives a final, mighty shove and Jax goes crashing through a freezer!

[ Tony Schiavone ] LORD, HELP US!

[ Scott Steiner ] OH SHIT!

Tiny bits of glass fly across the freezer aisle as Jax breathes deeply, almost certainly injured and still in a heap in the freezer. Misao exhales deeply, but before she can turn to the exit, we’re interrupted again.

[ The Administrator ] Attention shoppers: there’s a fresh new special in the produce aisle – barbed-wire wrapped tables…two for one.

Misao is markedly uninterested in the Administrator’s attempts to goad the two women into further violence and looks towards the door, nodding. As she steps in the direction of the exit, however, a guttural screech is heard from behind her! It’s Nia Jax!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY! IT’S NIA JAX!

[ Scott Steiner ] THE FUCKIN’ NARRATION JUST SAID THAT!

…right.

Anyway, Nia lifts Misao onto her shoulders, Samoan-styled, as you would assume, and begins huffing and puffing towards the sign in the back of the arena marked ‘PRODUCE,’ complete with grinning fruit and vegetables. Once we reach the aisle in question, Nia spots a pair of tables, erected side-by-side with a copious amount of barbed wire wrapped all along them. Grinning like the Cheshire Cat, Nia Jax bounds towards the tables and bellows –

[ Nia Jax ] IT’S FEEDING TIME!

– before hurling Misao over her head and onto the mess of barbed wire! The hero moans in agony as Nia takes many deep breaths, watching as her former partner writhes against the terrible barbs piercing through her green and black heroine’s armor. Looking around, Nia notices a long row of produce displays, made of crates and palettes just beyond the barbed wire monstrosity. Approaching slowly, Nia smirks and looks back at her former partner.

[ Nia Jax ] It’s time to end this! I should have finished you long ago – because like I said at the random, last-minute live event for the SGW Universe, I am NOT and have NEVER! EVER! NEVER EVER BEEN your understudy!

Misao coughs, in pain, but speaks aloud, and in English again…Dr. Cube’s headset!

[ Hyper Misao ] …I am no villain…

Knox looks to Misao, then Jax, not quite sure what’s going on.

[ Nia Jax ] …I feel like I’ve said this recently, but I’m a little confused over here. What the hell do you mean?!

Misao struggles, but lifts her head slightly, a bit of hair tangled in a barb behind her.

[ Hyper Misao ] Even pretending to be a villain…to enter North Korea…too much. I can never…be villain. I cannot…destroy you, Nia Jack. I cannot allow…to become villain…

Misao stops speaking and begins trying to unfurl herself from the mess of barbed wire as Nia snorts, rolling her eyes.

[ Nia Jax ] And so I’M A VILLAIN, HUH?! I’m like Kim Jongeel or whatever? No way. I’m not a villain because I’m the hero in my story, Misao. You’re a pest, and a worm, and I’m going to finish this story with the SGW Womens Intercontinental Championship! IT’S FEEDING TIME!

Stalking to the end of the display, set up adjacent to the barbed wire tables, Nia notices a huge crate of what appears to be Styrofoam apples! She shines one on her hip and sticks it into a pouch on her costume before smiling. Nia hops onto the produce display, then takes steps back, all the way to the end of the construction and begins running, looking surely to smash Misao further into the wretched barbs! As she reaches the end, she leaps into the air!

[ Tony Schiavone ] GOD IN HEAVEN, NO!

BUT MISAO MOVES!

Nia goes crashing through both tables, instantly pierced by the barbed wire and bellowing in agony. Misao looks on in horror at the scene as Nia begins pulling Rick Knox by his pant leg to help her. Misao spots her trusty bicycle, crashed into a shelf at the back of the store and lifts it, struggling against the pain from all the tiny lacerations the barbs caused. As the heroine mounts her vehicle, she looks down to Nia and speaks again through Dr. Cube’s Multilingual Headset.

[ Hyper Misao ] I wish things could have ended differently for us, Nia Jack. What I once believed to be an abundance of cholesterol in your heart was actually malice and rage, and sadly, this makes you a villainess. I believed I could change you…but I was wrong. Please forgive me, Nia Jack, because…

Misao peddles ahead, stopping beside the official. She reaches out and retrieves the Intercontinental Championship from Knox and peddles momentarily before halting, turning over her shoulder.

[ Hyper Misao ] …I will never…ever…be a villain…but I cannot be your hero today.

The heroine pumps the pedals to the bicycle, roaring towards the entrance and finally, through the automated doors of the barren supermarket. At the rear of the store, Knox grimaces at Nia before yelling out.

[ Rick Knox ] That’s it! Ring the bell!

No bell rings, because there is no ring bell. This is a supermarket.

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION
HYPER MISAO in 8:18

Knox begins helping Nia untangle herself from the barbed wire as we cut to a shot presumably from the roof of the supermarket, watching as Misao places the SGW Womens Intercontinental Championship into the basket at the front of her bicycle and continue pedaling through the streets, headed towards the arena.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well, there you have it! Hyper Misao is still the champion!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] With much effort, Misao vanquished She Who is Not Like Most Girls and now it looks like she's on her way back to the arena to celebrate!

[ Tony Schiavone ] With Nia Jax in the rearview of her, um, bicycle... where will Misao's journey take her next?

Fade.

As Misao's celebration in the streets continues, a quick cut takes us to a vacant section of the backstage area, far away from anyone or anything. Christopher Daniels slings his gear bag over his shoulder and looks over his circular sunglasses into the camera.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Solid Gold Wrestling. You know, we both took a chance on one another almost three years ago. I had been doing this for a decade, moving from company to company, and your reputation proceeded you. What a ride, right? I won more championships here than half of the Hall of Famers! I beat Cody Rhodes! I pinned Elias in less time than it takes for someone to tie their shoe!

He smirks and shakes his head in disbelief of the career he's had.

[ Christopher Daniels ] It's not always been rainbows and unicorns. I did stand-up comedy in London that time. Kazarian definitely banged my mom who has to be in her seventies at this point in time. I also unleashed a cursed monkey paw upon SGW, causing the death of many of my co-workers and the banishment of this company from America. But they can't all be winners.

He brushes it off.

[ Christopher Daniels ] But I have no regrets. I'd do it all over again. Even this trip to North Korea, as controversial as it is, it wasn't a wasted time by any means!

Daniels catches himself and raises an index finger.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Okay. Upon second thought. I do regret the monkey paw thing, but everyone liked SGW KILLS.. Catch-22 and all? Maybe?

He gets back on track.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Anyway, back to what I was saying. This trip wasn't a waste at all. I got a hot chick's phone number on the way to the back after my match!

Interrupting and catching Daniels off guard is the new SGW Television Champion, Ezekiel. He enters the picture and extends his hand out to Daniels.

[ Ezekiel ] Thank you for the match, brother. Strapping the title around my waist out there was real cool of you.

Daniels accepts the handshake.

[ Ezekiel ] I hate to see you go, Chris. On behalf of all of the SGW fans out there across the world, thank you for everything you've done!

[ Christopher Daniels ] You're the first person to be nice to me in three years..

Ezekiel smiles and walks out of the view of the camera. Immediately replacing him is.. ELIAS?

[ Elias ] Then let me be the second.

Elias grabs Daniels' right hand and shakes it, then brings him in for a half-hug. Daniels is mind blown, trying to piece all of this together.

[ Elias ] Everything between you and me is water under the bridge, my friend. You beating me was the most embarrassing thing to EVER happen to me.. But it was also the most important thing to ever happen. It lit a fire under me, brother. It made me who I am today. I overcame the embarrassment of losing to you and make something out of it.

[ Christopher Daniels ] You said you were going to be nice to me but keep reminding me how beating you was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you, so I'm getting mixed signals here.

[ Elias ] Whoa, hold on, cowboy. Don't get it twisted. I'm being nice to you and letting you know our beef is squashed.

There's always a 'but.'

[ Elias ] But I'm also letting you know that the days following losing to you in the shortest match in SGW history made me start pondering whether I was going to eat the bullet or drink the antifreeze and let death happen slowly.

[ Christopher Daniels ] This doesn't help me AT ALL..

[ Elias ] You're a good man, Christopher Daniels. You might be a Fallen Angel to these fans, but I hope you spread those wings and fly high, brother. Fly high!

John Cena appears and throws his arm around Daniels' shoulders.

[ John Cena ] You're not flying anywhere yet.

Cena faces Daniels and shakes his hand.

[ John Cena ] Not until I thank you for your service.

He immediately turns to Elias and sports a stone cold expression.

[ John Cena ] And I challenge you for your championship.

[ Elias ] Whoa, whoa. John, you have it all wrong. That's EZEKIEL, my little brother! I'm ELIAS! Different people!

[ Christopher Daniels ] My retirement promo has turned into build for a midcard match on the next show. What the hell? Did they need to shove a bunch of people into one segment again or something?!

Daniels looks around.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Where's Colt Cabana? That son of a bitch!

[ Elias ] John Cena, you are the first to challenge my brother..
But he's gonna' beat you just like you're any other.
You thrive off hustle, loyalty and respect..
But a big L from my brother will you collect.

Cena nods.

[ John Cena ] Oh, we doin' this, huh?

[ Christopher Daniels ] Are you two seriously going to rap battle in the middle of my promo?!

[ John Cena ] Don't matter if it's Ezekiel or Elias
I'm gonna beat 'em. Sorry for bein' bias.
That title belongs to me
As I put my name down in SGW history..

Daniels begins beat-boxing.. Badly.

[ Christopher Daniels ] My name is Chris Daniels and I'm here to say
Being SGW TV Champ was A-OK!
I beat a few people, wore the belt to sleep
Wore it to the store and 4 times called a creep!
Highlight of my life, gave me a reason to live
Totally understand I'm SGW's bi-weekly rib.
I'm gonna go home and call this cute girl
She's more valuable to me than a shiny pearl!

Both Cena and Elias look at Daniels with pity.

[ John Cena ] I like to focus on the positive, but man.

[ Elias ] That was not good.

[ John Cena ] It really sums up your entire SGW career.

Cena turns back to Elias and looks him in the eyes.

[ John Cena ] I'm comin' for your brother and his championship.

Elias chuckles and strokes his beard.

[ Elias ] I'll tell him you said hello.

Elias and Cena walk off in separate directions, leaving Daniels by himself.

[ Christopher Daniels ] What an entire waste my goodbye promo was!

We go back to ringside for our next match. The SGW Tag Team Championships are on the line!

REFEREE: PAUL TURNER | STIPULATION: BALL PIT OF DOOM

A small clearing about thirty yards from the ring features a 20-by-20-foot Ball Pit, dropped into the ground about three feet. The Imperfect 10s are on one side of the pit, looking across the pit at their challengers. On another side, Pheromones are studying the massive crowd around them – more appropriately, they’re looking at one another and making sure every last hair is in place – before truly appreciating the capacity crowd. On a third side, referee Paul Turner is instructing Gold Class, who wait on the fourth side, as we are interrupted by the Administrator, speaking via video over the screens in the arena.

[ The Administrator ] The fourth game of the evening will see the SGW World Tag Team Championships hang in the balance…of the Ball Pit of Doom.

The fans cheer as the six men look anxiously upon the ball pit before them. Minorita seems to encourage Gold Class while Yumehito Imanari looks far more interested in playing in the ball pit and rubbing his muscles. The Imperfect 10s grasp one another’s hand in the classic Predator-styled handshake and re-focus on the screen.

[ The Administrator ] Three teams will begin the game inside the Ball Pit of Doom, and one will lose the game therein. The remaining two teams will be moved to the ring, where we shall determine the final victors, the SGW World Tag Team Champions. Now…let the game begin!

Paul Turner calls for the bell and we’re off to the races! Danshoku Dino cannonballs into the ball pit excitedly as Naruki Doi steps in, struggling not to be amused with the entire scenario and looking around for the wisest way to proceed. Spears and Vance each pop into the ball pit and struggle across, looking to get down to business. Minoura and Minourita decide to strike first, leaping high into the air with tandem cross body blocks and take down the Tag Champions, sending plastic balls flying everywhere!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] …this…this is a match which is occurring.

Yuki Iino goes to all fours suddenly as Minorita rises from beneath the balls and throws his hands up victoriously! Suddenly, here comes Yumehito Imanari, stepping off of Iino’s back and soaring onto Minorita’s shoulders with a flying hurricanrana, both men sinking into the ball pit below to the symphony of a big pop!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wow! It looks like Imanari hurricanranaed Minorita into the deepest part of the ball pit! They’re REALLY REALLY far down there! They’re so far beneath the flood of plastic balls, I bet they’re not going to be of any relevance to the rest of the match!

[ Scott Steiner ] FINE BY ME! TOO MANY FUCKIN’ FOLKS TO KEEP TRACK OF IN THIS ONE, ANYWAYS!

Iino takes advantage of the situation, leaping off the side of the pit and double-axe-handling Pres10 Vance, but leaves himself open for Doi to swoop in with a vertical suplex, drowning ‘Sexy’ in the massive pit of plastic orbs. Doi, ever the opportunist, continues his wrecking spree by scooping Spears onto his shoulders and spinning, sending plastic balls everywhere before dropping one half of the SGW Tag Team Champions with a release Argentine neckbreaker! Across the pit, Danshoku Dino is clubbing recklessly on Minoura’s spine and shoulders, doing as much damage as a greased-up dumpy man could possibly do. After a moment, Dino points to his crotch as a puzzled roar spreads through the arena, swelling as the Korean fans realize what he's getting at.

[ Scott Steiner ] WHAT THE FUCK?!

[ Tony Schiavone ] He’s not gonna pull out his penis, is he?!

Before Dino can do anything with his trunks, Doi is quick to him and pops him with a stiff open-hand palm across the back, sending a loud SMACK through the arena! Iino stumbles to his partner’s aid and begins by leaping onto Doi’s back, sleeperholding the opportunistic veteran. With Doi weakened, Pheromones realize they’re in control of the game and point at one another, communicating non-verbally amidst all the noise of the massive arena. Iino leaps out of the pit, struggling against the balls to do so, but jumps as high as he can, coming down hard onto Shawn Spears’ face with a senton! Pres10 Vance wobbles through the ball pit to Dino and Doi, slapping Dino across his animated mug with a forearm smash, sending the Dandy One flailing onto the side of the ball pit. Vance turns and meets a “charging” Iino with a big Bionic Elbow before leaping to the edge of the ball pit and registering himself as “escaped!”

[ Nigel McGuinness ] One half of our tag champions has escaped! If only the other five men were as concerned with the ‘race’ aspect of this contest…

Danshoku Dino stumbles ahead and falls face-first into the ball pit, but judging by the scream from within, actually landed face-first in Shawn Spears’ ball sack. Across the ring, Doi begins to escape before noticing something inside the ball pit – a 12-foot ladder! Doi quickly hoists the ladder and erects it, using it to climb quickly from the ball pit and onto the ledge, registering his own escape with Paul Turner! At this point, all four men remaining in the ball pit realize there’s a much simpler method of escape and begin hauling ass as quickly as they can to the ladder.

[ Tony Schiavone ] It’s a mad dash to the ladder amidst the ball pit!

Shawn Spears, still holding his own ball sack, slowly manuevers against the crowd and across to Pres10 Vance, who assists him onto the side of the pit, registering the Imperfect 10s ESCAPED! Back in the ring, Minoura and Iino are at the ladder, each climbing a side to escape! Iino gets high enough, but Minoura grabs him through the rungs of the ladder! Down inside the pit, Dino begins hucking plastic ball after plastic ball across the pit as he approaches, clattering Minoura in the head! Minoura eventually must let go of Iino to stop Dino from throwing more balls, catching a few and then big booting one back into Dino’s face! Dino stumbles to the other side of the ladder and reaches through the rungs himself, grabbing Minoura’s ankle and stopping him from escaping! Hustling up the ladder as quickly as he can, Dino is now at eye level with Minoura and each as likely to escape as the other. Thinking quickly, Minoura swallows hard and reaches through the rung, taking a handful of Danshoku’s Dino! The pudgy man’s expression tells the entire tale as Minoura twists violently, stunning one half of Pheromones! With his partner in danger, Iino begins grabbing the ladder and shaking, but Minoura grabs the handful of balls he stopped earlier and drops them onto Iino’s noggin from above, stopping most of the wobbling! Realizing he must act, Minoura hooks Dino and lifts – he’s going for a vertical suplex!! – and drops Dino down, 10+ feet into the ball pit! As the ladder shifts and wobbles, eventually toppling into the pit, Minoura leaps and rolls onto the side of the pit, badly damaging his back but registering his own escape!

ELIMINATED
PHEROMONES

At the ringside area, down a short path from the ball pit, Doi has the advantage on the Imperfect 10s, stunning Vance with a hangman across the top rope. Spears, still a bit wobbly from the testicular attack, throws a clothesline, but Doi ducks, charging and springboarding off the ropes with a twisting cross body, scoring a two count on Spears! Doi stands and signals for the Muscular Bomb, but Vance is up and popping him across the back with a big forearm – and another! Vance is quick and clotheslines Doi to the mat, helping his partner to his feet before nonverbally signaling for a double-team maneuver!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This could be all she wrote for Gold Class!

With Vance perched on the top rope, Spears lifts Doi with a powerbomb – and here’s Vance, flying in and hooking the neck – POWERBOMB NECKBREAKER COMBO! DISGUSTING IMPACT – ONE! TWO! NO!

[ Tony Schiavone ] MINOURA IS HERE! HE BROKE THE PIN AND CLASS IS STILL IN SESSION!

Vance is alive with fury and charges at Minoura, who takes him by the mask and runs face first into the turnbuckles, quickly vaulting over the top rope before slingshotting in with a clothesline to knock Vance to the mat! Spears is up now, chargins with a clothesline of his own, but Minoura ducks – POISON FRANKENSTEINER! Spears stands, wobbling to and fro before face-planting into the canvas! Minoura pumps his fists and rallies Doi, gathering Vance and simultaneously leaping into the air – DOUBLE ENZUIGIRI! Doi and Minoura stack-cover Vance – ONE! TWO! NO! Spears breaks the fall up!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Incredible action here! I can’t believe Spears could break that pinfall!

With Vance and Spears still on the mat, Doi acts quickly and ascends to the top rope, looking for something big, but the Imperfect 10s are rising! Minoura attempts to hold them in place, but Vance acts quickly and hurls Minoura into the corner, knocking Doi off the top rope and to the mats below! SICK! Vance catches Minoura on the rebound, Mongolian Clap! Minoura’s dazed and Vance lifts him for a spinebuster, holding him up so Spears can dash in – HART ATTACK CLOTHESLINE! Vance drops Minoura with an Atomic Drop!

[ Tony Schiavone ] THIS ONE MUST BE WINDING DOWN!

[ Scott Steiner ] THANK GOD ABOVE!

Minoura is on wobbly legs – Vance and Spears double team lift him to their shoulders and go back-to-back before DRIVING Minoura’s head into the mat in a Danger Variant Double Death Valley Driver (DVD2)! Vance hooks the legs as Spears stands holding up individual fingers with each smack of the mat – ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNERS & STILL CHAMPIONS
THE IMPERFECT 10s via PINFALL in 9:21

Spears pumps his fist as Vance jumps off the mat and joins him for a big high five. Paul Turner delivers the SGW World Tag Team Championships to the Imperfect 10s, who place them around their waists as Gold Class recover in a corner, Pheromones walking to the ring after being freed from their Ball Pit prison.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Impressive victory for the Imperfect 10s, who have looked mighty impressive in their first two matches in Solid Gold Wrestling – you realize they’ve defeated FIVE teams in two contests, right?

[ Scott Steiner ] PEH! Nothing too impressive! Jeff and me – THE INHUMANE SOCIETY – we could beat ten or twenty teams at a time! Me and Rick, too! These guys are alright, I guess – but they got a way to go before we name anything after ‘em!

Doi and Minoura approach first, extending their hands to the champions in a show of respect – and the Imperfect 10s accept, shaking them! Pheromones are next, each extending a hand to the Imperfect 10s – actually, Danshoku Dino has a bright red plastic ball in his hand, but quickly stuffs it into his tights, wiping his sweaty hand across his chest and offering it to Spears. He winces, but shakes, leaving Minoura to do the same with Vance.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ball sweat aside, that’s a really cool gesture from the Tag Team Champions! They seem to really appreciate the competition offered by both Pheromones and Gold Class here tonight!

As the two teams on the losing end of the slate exit the ring and begin the trek up the ramp, Spears asks for and receives a microphone, tapping the top of it a few times before speaking.

[ Shawn Spears ] THAT’S RIGHT! YOU SEE THIS, NORTH KOREA?

Spears gestures to his waist and then, to Vance’s. Pres10 Vance flexes confidently, sweat rolling off of him.

[ Shawn Spears ] YOU SEE THIS, PLANET EARTH?! Just like we said, we are the SGW World Tag Team Champions for a reason! We earned these championships in a stupid hard match and have held them for over a year! We’ve taken on all comers and will continue to take on anyone foolish enough to challenge us!

A pop spreads across the North Korean audience, who are being treated to late subtitles across the massive screens through the arena. Spears recognizes this and pumps his fist.

[ Shawn Spears ] YEAH! By virtue of holding these championships, we’re the greatest tag team in the business! Just like Sudden Impact was! Just like Tha Tru Warriorz were! Just like Edge and Chris Kanyon, his very best tag team championship partner!

Spears winks at the hard camera.

[ Shawn Spears ] JUST LIKE LOS ICE CREAMS! Just like VENOM! We are the best tag team in the business! And I don’t care if it’s North Korea, the United States, Mars, ANYWHERE! ANY TIME! The Imperfect 10s will see your challenge – and defeat you! So consider this an open challenge – anyone willing to face us – we’ll show you why we’re the very best!

Literally seconds after Spears finishes speaking, “Where Is My Mind” hits the speakers and North Korea goes crazy! The screens show a familiar sight to long-time SGW fans and suddenly, the men themselves step confidently onto the stage—

[ Tony Schiavone ] THE BEST FRIENDS ARE HERE! THE LEGACY PRO TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!

The freshly crowned tandem of Trent and Chuck Taylor begin stomping down to the ring, giving high fives to any fan interested along the way, all whilst Orange Cassidy lazily saunters behind them, completely unimpressed with the gigantic arena and crowd contained therein.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Now, Scott, before that blood vessel in your head finally blows once and for all, please try and remember that the Best Friends were hot on the trail of the SGW World Tag Team Championships back in the summer of 2020 and just never could quite capture the gold!

[ Scott Steiner ] YEAH! YEAH, HARRY FUCKIN’ STYLES, I FUCKIN’ REMEMBER! I REMEMBER MORE OF THIS SHITHOLE COMPANY THAN I’LL EVER CARE TO DISCUSS AGAIN, AND I CERTAINLY RE-FUCKIN’-MEMBER THESE GOOBER FUCKS AND THEIR GOOBER FUCKIN’ FRIEND ORANGE FUCKIN’ CASSIDY! HE THOUGHT HE WAS SO FUCKIN’ COOL WITH HIS FIGHT CLUB HOMAGE END TO THE FUCKIN’ MAHAL DEATHMATCH SHIT LAST SHOW BUT I THOUGHT THE WHOLE DAMN THING WAS A GIANT WASTE OF TIME! FUCK THESE GUYS, BUT DOUBLE FUCK ORANGE FUCKIN’ CASSIDY!

[ Tony Schiavone ] I like that they’re called Best Friends because it reminds me of you guys – MY Best Friends!

The music quells and the two teams are staring one another down as Cassidy finally reaches the ring. Neither team utters a word, but Vance looks at Spears, who looks back and nods. The Imperfect 10s unstrap their championship belts and lay them down in the center of the ring, leading to a big pop from the North Korean fans! Spears opens his hand, palm up, and lifts his fingers, reminiscent of a certain former President of the United States. The fans roar again and the Best Friends nod, confirming the future contest!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wow! It looks like we’ve got a future SGW World Tag Team Championship match! MAYBE EVEN A UNIFICATION MATCH! I can’t wait to see it!

The Imperfect 10s collect their championships and leave the ring, allowing the fans in attendance to cheer the return of the Best Friends to an SGW ring.

[ Scott Steiner ] Hold the fuck on…HOLD THE FUCK RIGHT THE FUCK ON!

Orange Cassidy flashes his trademark, pathetic excuse for a thumbs up to the camera as the Best Friends wrap around him in a group hug, the camera zooming all the way out, Okada-style to another huge pop.

[ Scott Steiner ] Did SGW really pay to fly these fuckers all the way to North Korea JUST to job out those European pieces’a shit on a damn pre-show shitter and then accept a fuckin’ challenge at the end of a match?! Couldn’t we have had a pre-taped vignette or somethin’?! Isn’t there ANYBODY with any fuckin’ sense left in this mother fucker?!

Nobody answers Steiner and we fade away.

The parking lot.

Hyper Misao's bicycle comes to a screeching halt.

Seconds later, Misao steps off the bicycle and lets it falls to the pavement. Misao clutches the SGW Women's Intercontinental Championship and holds it over her head, showing it off to absolutely no one. Shin Ultra Shoko steps out the rear exit of the arena, appearing excited. She strikes a heroic pose.

[ Shin Ultra Shoko ] < Listen to the fans, Misao! They love you! >

Misao lowers the title and cups her ear. Dead silence. She smiles and nods, satisfied.

[ Hyper Misao ] < They really do! >

Tossing the championship belt onto her shoulder, Misao and Shoko head toward the arena, where they're greeted by North Korean soldiers. Once they're inside, Misao is approached by Cathy Kelley with a microphone in her hand.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Hyper Misao! Congratulations on your first successful title defense!

Misao looks at the championship proudly and nods.

[ Hyper Misao ] < Yes! Thank you! It was a hard fight, but peace and love prevailed as always! >

Cathy smiles. Misao prepares to depart from the scene, but Cathy places her hand on her shoulder. Misao stops in her tracks, looking down at the point of contact.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Misao, wait... one more thing, please.

Shoko looks confused.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Ever since you came to Solid Gold Wrestling, your journey to where you are now... it's been like a Cinderella story. You came to us on the SHOCK brand, which was basically built as a vehicle to get Becky Lynch over. No one knew who you were or anything about you... but your rivalry with Sarah Logan captivated the fans, and your lengthy run as the Goddess of SHOCK led to two runs as the SGW World Twinstar Champion... and ultimately your current reign as SGW Women's Intercontinental Champion.

Misao smiles and nods.

[ Hyper Misao ] < Yes, all of this is true! I have had great success! >

[ Shin Ultra Shoko ] < Don't forget her legendary reign as the Full-Tilt Boogie Champion! She is the greatest superhero in all of SGW history! >

[ Cathy Kelley ] Right. Sometimes I forget that people other than Christopher Daniels held that title. What I'm getting at is... you've held every women's title in Solid Gold Wrestling... but you've never challenged for the big one.

Misao looks down for a moment, thoughtful.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Misao, there are so many fans who view you as one of the most influential performers in SGW, and think that you deserve better than what you've received. They're anxious to know-- WE are anxious to know... when are you calling your shot?

Misao looks up, meeting Cathy's gaze.

[ Cathy Kelley ] When does Hyper Misao challenge for the women's world championship?

Misao really appears to think it over, then speaks.

[ Hyper Misao ] < That is a... good question, Citizen Cathy. >

Misao takes a moment to find the words.

[ Hyper Misao ] < Perhaps it is time to-- >

Before she can finish her much awaited answer to Cathy's question, Kacy Catanzaro walks into the shot, having changed out of her gear from her dark match earlier in the evening. Misao and Shoko both look confused by her presence.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Kacy Catanzaro... wow, what a surprise!

Kacy smiles.

[ Kacy Catanzaro ] Thanks for the warm welcome, Cathy.

[ Cathy Kelley ] No offense, but why are you here right now?

[ Shin Ultra Shoko ] < Yeah, how dare you interrupt Hyper Misao?! >

Kacy seems undeterred by Shoko's reaction.

[ Kacy Catanzaro ] Actually, I'm here for two reasons... and one of them is kind of selfish, I'll admit. First, I just really wanted to introduce myself to Hyper Misao! She's such an inspiration for girls like me who are looking to make an impact in SGW...

Kacy looks down nervously. Misao smiles and offers her hands to shake. Kacy accepts the gesture and slightly bows out of respect. Shoko looks on, not convinced.

[ Kacy Catanzaro ] And second, I was really hoping that... since you're such an inspiration and you obviously want to see new girls like me succeed... that maybe you'd give me a shot at your Intercontinental championship?

She clasps her hands in front of her, looking hopeful. Misao appears taken aback.

[ Kacy Catanzaro ] That's the, um... selfish one.

Cathy shifts uneasily. Shoko steps up, getting in Kacy's face.

[ Shin Ultra Shoko ] < Hey! I knew your cheery attitude was too good to be true! You just wanna skip the line! You don't deserve a shot at Hyper Misao's championship! Maybe you should try winning some more matches first-- >

Misao puts her hand on Shoko's chest and pushes her back. Misao steps right up to Kacy and holds up the championship belt.

[ Hyper Misao ] < You want a shot at my title? >

Kacy smiles and nods.

[ Hyper Misao ] < Then I will face you... if SGW ever has another show! >

[ Kacy Catanzaro ] Awesome... and, yeah. I get that it's a little awkward to challenge you to a match when there's no promise of another show, but... it's an honor, Misao. It's a real honor. Thank you!

Kacy turns her back and her cheery demeanor completely disappears. Unbeknownst to Cathy, Misao, and Shoko, Kacy is completely stone faced as she walks away. Misao watches her leave, clutching her title tightly. Shoko steps up next to Misao, an annoyed look on her face.

[ Shin Ultra Shoko ] < I do not like her. There is something off about her. >

[ Hyper Misao ] < Easy, Shoko-chan. Only when we are in the ring, will I judge her. >

Fade.

REFEREE: MIKE CHIODA | STIPULATION: SCAFFOLD MATCH

Back to ringside and a scaffold has been assembled twenty-five feet in the air, hovering over the ring. Andre Case is on one end while Wade Barrett resides on the other. Behind each man is a flag representing their home country. You can feel a sense of uneasiness in the air as our next unpredictable match is set to begin.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] In all of my research, I cannot find a scaffold match having taken place in a Solid Gold ring, gentlemen.

[ Tony Schiavone ] I've seen a few of them in my day and let me tell you, they do not end well!

The bell sounds and each man cautiously moves towards the center while referee Mike Chioda looks on from the ring. There's nothing he can do but declare a winner in this one, as there's no rules besides throwing your opponent to the ring below and capturing the flag.

[ Scott Steiner ] IS THIS GONNA' BE LIKE THAT BLINDFOLD MATCH WHERE NOTHIN' FUCKIN' HAPPENS?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] There's a possibility, Scotty. You have to move carefully up there or risk fallin' off yourself.

[ Scott Steiner ] LET ME GO THROW 'EM OFF THERE MYSELF AND END THIS THING!

The two men trade right hands to start, with Barrett throwing a left hand, catching Andre off guard and dropping him to his knees. Upon seeing where he landed, Chase drops to his stomach and puts a death grip on the scaffolding, causing it to sway every so slightly. Barrett firms his stance while Bodhi Hayward and Thea Hail look up in horror. Barrett steadies himself and grabs Chase by the hair and drags him to his feet against his will. Upon doing so, Chase reaches into his gear and THROWS POWDER IN WADE BARRETT'S FACE! Barrett staggers back and Chase sees and opening, kicking Barrett in the gut and tries throwing him over the edge!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh my word! The snake, Andre Chase, has blinded Wade Barrett with powder!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I don't think what he did is right, Tony, but what he did IS legal!

Barrett elbows Chase in the gut and ends the attempt to throw him over, and begins wiping away at his eyes. Every few seconds, he throws a right hand to keep Chase at bay.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Ya' can't hit what you cannot see, gentlemen!

Chase grabs Barrett from behind and applies a headlock. Barrett picks him up and threatens a back drop, causing nervous reactions from the fans and those at ringside alike, but Chase uses his momentum to bring him back down to his feet and releases the headlock. Chase then extends his hand with a big smile, calling for a truce.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Almost dying will change a man! Andre Chase wants off this scaffold and is now offering a truce to Wade Barrett!

[ Scott Steiner ] IF ANDRE CHASE HAD ANY BALLS, HE'D THROW WADE BARRETT OFF THAT SCAFFOLD RIGHT NOW!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Well, it's easier said than done, Scott. Wade Barrett has the size advantage.

[ Scott Steiner ] FUCKIN' FINE! WADE BARRETT, IF YOU HAVE ANY BALLS, YOU'D THROW ANDRE CHASE OFF THE SCAFFOLD RIGHT NOW!

In the ring below, Bodhi and Thea begin stacking steel chairs on top of one another, forming a tower of chairs five-feet-wide and about six chairs tall. Bodhi drags a ladder in the ring and sets it up. Thea begins handing him more chairs, making the tower taller and taller. On the scaffolding, Barrett and Chase cautiously give one another right hands and try pushing the other over the edge without success. Barrett catches the tower out of the corner of his eye, giving Chase a moment to be able to dive and chop block Barrett! Chase stomps away on his opponent, trying to take his knees out from under him.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Gentlemen, I must admit, the creation of this stack of steel chairs has me even more nervous than b'fore!

[ Tony Schiavone ] My history in this business says someone is going through those when they least expect it, buddy!

Chase has Barrett down on the scaffold and motions for his backup to join him on the scaffold. Both Bodhi and THea refuse at first until Chase begins screaming at them, giving them no choice. Reluctantly, they begin climbing the ladder and crawl Army-style on the scaffold to where Chase and Barrett are. Barking orders, Chase has them help pick Barrett up to his knees. While Thea and Bodhi hold his arms, Chase slaps Barrett across the face and tells him "It's time to go night-night!"

[ Nigel McGuinness ] He's wastin' too much time!

After another slap, Chase then spits in Barrett's face, which lights a fuse underneath him! Barrett springs to his feet and breaks free from the hold of Bodhi and Thea. Thea goes flying over the side of the scaffold and crashes through the tower of chairs, causing them to collapse on top of her!

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT UGLY BITCH IS DEAD!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I do think falling through piles of chairs isn't ideal for the human spinal cord.

Barrett gives Bodhi a stiff forearm shot and a big boot, sending him flying backwards to the ring! Barrett then turns to Andre Chase, who gulps and does the sign of the cross and closes his eyes, knowing what's to come.

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT GUY WHO USED TO BE MANAGED BY ROAD DOGG IN WLCW IS ALSO FUCKIN' DEAD!

Barrett kicks Chase in the gut and very carefully wraps Chase's arm around his neck.. BULL HAMMER! Andre Chase staggers comically back and forth, teasing falling over either side of the scaffold. Barrett looks on, but grows tired of the antics and pushes him sideways, causing Chase to fall end-over-end, hitting his head on one part of the remaining chair towering and dropping to the mat in a heap! Steel chairs fall on top of Chase and Barrett surveys the car crash down below.

[ Scott Steiner ] AND THE GUY I DIDN'T KNOW STILL FUCKIN' WRESTLED IS DEAD, TOO!

Barrett walks over and grabs the flag and waves it high in the air, securing the victory in this chaotic scaffold match!

WINNER
WADE BARRETT in 8:33

[ Tony Schiavone ] I'm not sure how much entertainment that brought to the Supreme Leader, as it wasn't a five star mat classic, but they did well with what they had to work with!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] My friend, Wade Barrett, overcame the odds tonight and survived truly one of the most difficult matches in all of professional wrestling!

Wade Barrett continues waving the flag and poses on top of the wobbly scaffolding, showing no fear. Down below, Mike Chioda and ringside medics begin digging Thea Hail and Andre Chase out from under the pile of chairs they've found themselves underneath. Another medic checks on Bodhi Hayward, but upon inspection, immediately throws up the "X."

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It was bound to happen, but we have ourselves some serious injuries comin' out of this one!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The rest of Solid Gold Wrestling beware! Wade Barrett has some bad news for the roster!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Is he doing the "bad news" thing still?

[ Tony Schiavone ] He is tonight, dammit!

We take one final shot of Wade Barrett celebrating atop the scaffolding as the scene fades.

Suddenly, we’re in a room filled to the brim with two things: noise and beef.

Both the ‘noise’ and ‘beef’ in question are due to those present in the room, three-fourths of the tug of war challenge match from earlier this evening, Samoa Joe, Roman Reigns, and Bron Breakker. Incredulously, the three men do not seem ready to come to blows but are all still asserting their dominance over the other in various ways – the most prominently-used method appears to be screaming.

[ Samoa Joe ] Oh yeah, Roman, you think you’re the baddest son of a bitch here, do ‘ya?

[ Roman Reigns ] YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DO, JOE! I’M THE HEAD OF THE TABLE! ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR TRIBAL CHIEF AS THE BADDEST SON OF A BITCH HERE!

[ Bron Breakker ] I’LL ACKNOWLEDGE MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS, ROMAN, YOU GREASY-HAIRED FUCK! I’M THE BIGGEST AND BADDEST!

There’s a big pop as each man looks at the other two in the room in disgust and they continue pressing the issue.

[ Samoa Joe ] Bron Breakker, you’ve got the dumbest name on God’s green earth – Bron isn’t a damn name, and “Breakker” should have one ‘K’, if any! How many other damned BREAKKERs are there, huh?! Busy family reunions with that stupid ass last name?!

[ Bron Breakker ] OH YEAH, YOU THINK IT’S STUPID?! WELL IT SURE BEATS ‘SAMOA’ AS A FIRST NAME, FATSO!

Joe steps forward and Bron reciprocates, each man still jaw jacking indiscriminately until Roman steps up, pushing each man back and bellows.

[ Roman Reigns ] SHUT YOUR MOUTH ABOUT SAMOA, BREAKKER, AND HOW DARE YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRIBAL CHIEF’S ASS, YOU PERVERT? ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR PERVERTED NATURE AND ACKNOWLEDGE ME! …AS YOUR TRIBAL CHIEF!

The door slams open and all three men quickly cut their eyes to the location of the noise, still breathing heavily from the huffing and puffing they’re doing as The Administrator leads the Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un into the room, flanked as usual by two masked and armed guards. The fans roar at the sight.

[ The Administrator ] Gentlemen. Seeing as he is a big fan of…

The Administrator swallows as Kim Jong-un beams at the three specimens before him.

[ The Administrator ] …’big meaty men slapping meat’…the Supreme Leader is very interested in meeting the three of you.

Kim Jong-un nods, seemingly aware of what the Administrator’s just said. The Administrator nods at the three men and Samoa Joe steps forward first.

[ Samoa Joe ] Hello. I’m Samoa Joe…it’s nice to see your country.

The Administrator relays the message from Joe to Kim Jong-un, who nods.

[ Kim Jong-un ] <Very nice. I would have sworn this, too, was Yokozuna from afar, but I am satisfied with his Polynesian equivalent. His beef is marbled for girthy impact.>

Joe squints his eyes and turns to the Administrator.

[ Samoa Joe ] …what’d he say?

[ The Administrator ] …Supreme Leader says…you are a Polynesian legend.

Joe smirks and nods to himself, pleased with the lie. He steps back and holds a hand out towards Roman, who steps forward and cocks his fist – the armed guards grip their guns – and holds it forward, offering Kim Jong-un a fist bump.

[ Roman Reigns ] I am Roman Reigns, the Head of the Table and the Tribal Chief. I assume your title, Supreme Leader, means something similar, but probably a bit lesser.

Kim Jong-un looks at Reigns’ fist and extends his own, smiling simply.

[ Kim Jong-un ] <Impressive. I would have preferred his cool and dead cousin, the American President the Rock, but Roman Reigns is still a favorite. I am grateful for your displays of violence tonight.>

Roman tilts his head upward at the Administrator, asking for clarity beyond the language barrier.

[ The Administrator ] Supreme Leader loves your family and is grateful for your displays of violence tonight.

Reigns nods again at Jong-un and steps aside. Bron Breakker’s face is written with confusion as he steps forward, leering up and down at the Supreme Leader.

[ Bron Breakker ] Y’all serious?! Y’all all bendin’ over backwards to make nice with this dude?

The Administrator lowers his head, shaking it back and forth slightly as Jong-un’s eyebrows lower.

[ Bron Breakker ] I don’t see what the big deal is with this guy anyway! It’s just some fat little butterball boy! HE’S FAT!

The Administrator’s face, still hidden behind the mask, shoots to Breakker, then back to the Supreme Leader, who’s face is still as nonchalant and unimpressed as before.

Until suddenly, he cracks a smile.

[ Kim Jong-un ] <Yes, excellent. Joking amongst men, very traditionally masculine.>

The Administrator nods, then looks at Breakker.

[ The Administrator ] Despite yourself, the Supreme Leader appreciates your terrible attempts at humor.

[ Bron Breakker ] I ain’t tryin’ta be funny, Man in the Iron Mask! I’m callin’ and tellin’ it like I sees it – HE’S FAT!

Again, the room is silent save for another polite laugh from Kim Jong-Un.

[ Kim Jong-un ] <Very good. I am very pleased with these big meaty men and their slapping of meat. Yes. Excellent. I would like you to invite all of these men to play American Basketball after the show tonight.>

[ The Administrator ] Supreme Leader appreciates your match earlier tonight and wishes to invite all of you to play ‘American Basketball’ after the event tonight has subsided.

Faces around the room scrunch, confused.

[ Samoa Joe ] ‘American’ basketball? What the hell makes it different from any other game of basketball?! Uh…I appreciate the offer, but I’ve got an early flight out of here.

Roman leans in and lifts an eyebrow.

[ Roman Reigns ] From one Tribal Chief to another, I regret to inform you I have an important phone call with my best friend and tag team partner tonight. No can do.

All eyes are on Bron Breakker, who scoffs.

[ Bron Breakker ] So Fatty McButterpants likes balls, huh?! No surprise! Tell him I’d love to dunk on his short, FAT ass, but I don’t wanna get shot to death halfways across the world when I leave him cryin’ like a little bitch!

Kim Jong-un is still smiling, nodding slightly as he looks to the Administrator.

[ The Administrator ] …these men have decided they will consider your generous offer and barring their untimely deaths, will join you for American basketball, Supreme Leader.

Kim Jong-un’s smile widens.

[ Kim Jong-un ] <Most excellent. Tonight is truly shaping up to be an evening for the ages. First, a miraculous display of violence…then, a game of American basketball – meaty men slapping meat yet again! Finally, we shall ring in the morning light with wine, women, and song, Christian and myself.>

The Administrator pauses, reflecting on these bizarre words, then nods.

[ The Administrator ] …yes, Supreme Leader.

The Administrator and Kim Jong-un leave, flanked as always by the armed guards, emptying out the room. Nobody speaks for a moment.

[ Bron Breakker ] HEY! I ain’t no damn pervert, Roman, you Tribal BITCH!

The argument fires up, as strong as ever, as we fade away from the scene.

We fade up with a shot of three child size chairs in the ring. One chair is green, one is blue, one is red. They look like something taken straight out of a kindergarten class room. Already standing in the ring, we see the SGW World Twinstar Champions, Jinny and Maki Itoh, and their challengers for the evening, Dakota Kai and Sasha Banks. While they're all stand-offish with each other, they are focused on the chairs in the ring as well.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Gentlemen, it's time for the ladies tag team match... but what's going on wit' the bloody chairs in the ring? We've already seen a tug of war, chaps running up slippery slides, a sodding ball pit... what's next?

[ Tony Schiavone ] I can't wait to find out, Nigel! Tonight has been quite the experience!

[ Scott Steiner ] Yeah, an experience-- that's one way to fuckin' describe it! If those chairs aren't there for these broads to hit each other with, then what's the fuckin' point!?

The women are left to stand there in silence for a few more seconds before we hear the voice of the administrator over the speaker. Everyone turns their attention to what he's saying.

[ The Administrator ] Ladies, welcome to our next game.

All four women look around the ring, glaring at one another, looking at the chairs, shifting uncomfortably. Jinny and Itoh look down at their title belts, though both appear to make it a point not to stand too close to the other.

[ The Administrator ] While there are four of you competing tonight, there are only three chairs in front of you. When the music starts, you will all circle the chairs. When the music stops, you will sit down. Whoever is not seated when the music stops will be eliminated. The last woman remaining will choose the stipulation for the SGW World Twinstar Championship match.

Jinny rolls her eyes. Dakota and Sasha stare each other down. Itoh looks away from her title and toward the chairs with a look of pure determination. Suddenly, without warning, a childish tune that sounds like it's being played on a xylophone begins playing.

[ The Administrator ] Let the game commence.

All four women begin walking in a circle around the chairs.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Musical chairs! This is the greatest night in the history of our sport!

[ Scott Steiner ] Are you jokin'!? Is this guy fuckin' jokin' right now!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is quite the turn of events, but it's certainly in line with what we've experienced thus far tonight.

The music abruptly stops and Jinny doesn't even bother trying to sit down! Dakota, Sasha, and Maki Itoh are in the chairs... but then Jinny grabs a handful of Itoh's hair and slings her down onto the mat, stealing her seat! The fans boo loudly as Jinny smiles, proud of herself.

[ The Administrator ] Maki Itoh has been eliminated.

Itoh gets up and stands in the corner with her title, looking annoyed. Jinny, Sasha, and Dakota stand up as a man in a pink jumpsuit and mask climbs into the ring and removes one of the chairs. The music begins playing again and all three remaining competitors begin circling the two chairs.

[ Tony Schiavone ] That Jinny, she's still a snake!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] She doesn't want to risk one of these other ladies winning the game and choosing a stipulation that doesn't benefit her in the slightest, Tony. I'm not saying she did the right thing... but she certainly did the smart thing!

The music stops and Jinny sits down immediately. Sasha almost sits down but Dakota Kai boots her right in the side of the head, sending her down to the mat! Sasha grabs her face, looking shocked! Dakota sits down!

[ The Administrator ] Sasha Banks has been eliminated.

Dakota laughs and looks at Sasha, mock crying. Dakota and Jinny stand up and the masked guard climbs into the ring and removes another chair, leaving only one. Dakota and Jinny stare each other down.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Never has a game of musical chairs carried this much intensity!

[ Tony Schiavone ] I'm on the edge of my seat!

[ Scott Steiner ] God damn, send the asteroid already!

The music plays one final time and Dakota and Jinny circle the chair. The music abruptly stops and Jinny shoves Dakota down! Jinny prepares to sit... but Maki Itoh kicks the chair from underneath her! Jinny lands on her ass and Dakota scrambles to pick the chair up and set it down! She almost sits down but Sasha kicks the chair from underneath her! Dakota lands in a seated position and Sasha hits the ropes... RUNNING METEORA! NO! ITOH CUTS HER OFF WITH A TORPEDO HEADBUTT! Jinny and Dakota both scramble for the final chair but Dakota manages to trashcan Jinny to the floor and SIT DOWN IN THE CHAIR!

[ The Administrator ] Jinny has been eliminated. Congratulations to Dakota Kai. You may choose your stipulation.

The masked guard hands Dakota Kai a microphone. She looks down at it with a smirk, still seated in the small red chair. She looks around at the three other women in the match. She raises the microphone and speaks.

[ Dakota Kai ] What I want-- actually, what I DON'T want is to be a champion with Sasha friggin' Banks, who tried t' end my bloody career! So... here's what I propose, yeah? We take both o' those Twinstar titles 'n we put'em on bloody poles on eitha' side o' the ring... 'n whoever grabs them... they're the champions! Every woman for her bloody self!

Resting on the apron and looking through the ropes, Jinny smiles evilly. Two more masked guards hit the ring and take the Twinstar titles from Itoh and Jinny. Some members of the ring crew immediately begin constructing the pole apparatuses. Dakota stands up from her chair, a satisfied look on her face. There's a screech over the sound system as the Administrator begins speaking again.

[ The Administrator ] Per your wishes, both championship belts will be placed on poles on either side of the ring. Whoever grabs the championship belts will be declared the champions at the end of the match. However, in the interest of making the match more entertaining for the Supreme Leader, two additional poles will be added to the game... one with a bag of thumb tacks... and the other with an exploding baseball bat.

Dakota Kai's jaw drops and she shouts "that's not fair!" but it doesn't matter! It's happening! The ring crew continues working on putting poles up, two with the title belts and two more with the weapons! Sasha shoves Dakota hard and they begin arguing before the match officially begins!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh my! It's every woman for herself!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Ya' can't blame Dakota Kai for holdin' a grudge, but what does this mean for Jinny and Maki Itoh? Will they work together? Does this mean war-- oh, who am I kidding? Of course this mean war!

Once all the poles are in place, Aubrey Edwards calls for the bell to begin the match!

REFEREE: AUBREY EDWARDS | STIPULATION: TITLES ON A POLE

As soon as the match starts, Sasha Banks and Dakota Kai tie up and begin trading forearms to the head and chest areas! Itoh and Jinny look at each other... and then Itoh immediately charges for one of the title belts! She climbs onto the middle rope and reaches for the title... but Jinny lashes out and snatches her down, pulling her in and turning her inside out with the ACID RAINMAKER!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Holy smokes! That was fast!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I guess that answers our question about whether or not the champions will work together!

[ Scott Steiner ] Why would they!? Why would anyone wanna be a champ with that shitty little school girl and her big ass head!? I don't care much about women's rasslin' but Jinny was the most dominant champion in company history, she shouldn't even be in this match! This is a joke for somebody at her level!

Jinny steps over Itoh and goes for the title but Sasha Banks manages to clothesline Dakota over the top rope and charges, nailing Jinny from behind! Sasha follows Jinny up and hooks her... for a BACK DROP OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE! Sasha gets up and poses before pulling Jinny back to her feet and whipping her into the ropes. Sasha goes for a clothesline but Jinny ducks it and catches Sasha on the turnaround with a boot to the stomach... TOUCH OF COUTURE! Sasha goes down! Jinny gets up to her knees and smiles evilly before getting up and turning right around into a headbutt from Maki Itoh! Jinny staggers back toward the ropes and Dakota Kai comes out of nowhere with a PUMP KICK that sends Jinny through the ropes and to the floor!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Jinny has been neutralized for now!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Maki Itoh and Dakota Kai are the only two standing!

Dakota and Itoh circle one another and then nod, agreeing on something without even speaking. They both turn and charge toward the turnbuckles with title belts! NO! Dakota fakes her out! As Itoh climbs to the middle rope, Dakota charges behind her, clubs her in the back, and trashcans her to the apron! She lands headfirst and folds like an accordion before falling to the floor! The fans groan in sympathy, then Tam Nakano charges out from the back to check on Itoh! Dakota checks her surroundings and climbs the turnbuckles... AND PULLS DOWN THE FIRST TITLE!

NEW CHAMPION
DAKOTA KAI

Dakota sits on the top rope, facing the crowd, and holds the title tightly to her chest, laughing like a woman possessed! Suddenly, Sasha Banks slides back into the ring, charges, and leaps-- LUNG BLOWER OFF THE ROPES ON DAKOTA KAI! Sasha flips Dakota over... BANK STATEMENT! DAKOTA KAI TAPS OUT! SHE'S TAPPING OUT LIKE CRAZY! BUT IT MEANS NOTHING! SASHA KEEPS WRENCHING BACK ON THE HOLD UNTIL DAKOTA FADES... AND PASSES OUT! Sasha lets go of the hold and stands, picking up Dakota's title belt. Sasha looks down at it and then drops it on Dakota before turning and looking at the other title.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Dakota Kai has gone from new champion to unconscious within seconds!

[ Scott Steiner ] That was a good fuckin' choke! That's the kinda' shit I'm here to see!

Aubrey Edwards helps roll Dakota to the apron. Sasha goes for the other title but Jinny snatches her ankle from the floor and drags her out of the ring! Jinny immediately whips Sasha into the guardrail and follows her in with a RUNNING KNEE right to the chest! Wasting no time, Jinny dumps Sasha over the rail and into the front row! Jinny turns and rolls back under the bottom rope... just in time to see Tam Nakano standing on the top rope and bringing down the bag of thumbtacks! Jinny looks furious!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Tam Nakano has brought the thumbtacks into play!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tam Nakano isn't even in the match! She's clearly just buying time for Maki Itoh to recover from that admittedly scary bump she took to the floor! Good on her for helping her friend but she shouldn't be bloody out here!

Jinny tries to stop her but Nakano slings the thumbtacks all across the ring! The fans gasp! Jinny's eyes widen and Nakano hops down into the ring! Jinny charges at Nakano and Nakano ducks a clothesline! Jinny turns around and Nakano nails her with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK to the skull! Jinny teases falling over into the tacks... but doesn't quite go down before--

[ Scott Steiner ] OH SHIT! IT'S GETTIN' REAL NOW!

WALTER GRABS TAM NAKANO BY THE ANKLES AND PULLS HER OUT OF THE RING! The fans have no idea what to think as the giant Austrian brute grabs two handfuls of Nakano's hair and shoves her against the apron... BEFORE CHOPPING HER SO HARD THAT HER LEGS TURN TO JELLY! WALTER discards Tam like trash and then climbs into the ring!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh! My! Goodness! This can't possibly be allowed, can it!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It's anything goes, Tony! And who is gonna tell WALTER "no!?"

WALTER hoists Jinny onto his shoulders and begins walking her toward the other title belt... but he's distracted when the fans cheer loudly! He turns and sees Maki Itoh holding the EXPLODING BARBWIRE BAT! She grabbed the other weapon while everyone else was distracted! WALTER's eyes go wide and Jinny starts shrieking at him to put her down but Maki Itoh charges and hits WALTER right in the stomach with the bat! BOOM! SPARKS FLY EVERYWHERE! JINNY AND WALTER FALL BACKWARD INTO THE THUMB TACKS! THE EXPLOSION SENDS ITOH FLYING BACKWARD, HER GEAR SINGED FROM THE HEAT! Jinny and WALTER writhe about in the tacks!

[ Scott Steiner ] God damn! This shit escalated real quick!

[ Tony Schiavone ] I... I'm at a loss for words! Maki Itoh just evened the odds!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This match... truly belongs to anyone at this point, but Maki Itoh may have her opportunity now to secure that final strap!

Maki Itoh eyes the other championship belt hanging above the turnbuckle. She forces herself to her feet and begins staggering toward the corner. At ringside, we see Sasha Banks climb back over the rail and tease getting back in the ring but... she inexplicably waves it off and walks to the back, shouting "I'm too good for this! I won't be disrespected!" The fans boo as Sasha straight up walks out on the match!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Sasha Banks is taking a walk, gentlemen!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wow! She's giving up her chance to become a two-time Twinstar champion, just like that! Sasha Banks has always been on the entitled side, but I think this might be a new low!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I think she's had enough of the scramble... and why would she want to bloody fight to be one half of the Twinstar Champions with the woman who specifically named this stipulation to avoid being champions with 'er?!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Hm, yes! I guess that makes sense!

Just as Itoh reaches the corner, TYLER BREEZE hits the ring and helps Jinny to her feet! WALTER rolls to the floor, favoring his stomach, and Jinny leans on the ropes to remain standing. Tyler Breeze shouts at Itoh and tells her to back up... but Itoh kicks him straight in the balls! Tyler Breeze goes down, accidentally getting a tack in his hand and crying out in pain! Itoh points at Jinny and growls, ready to fight The Fashionista, who has made it clear that she can't stand Itoh and doesn't want to team with her... but right before Itoh moves in--

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Good God, put your damn hands up!

CRACK! DAKOTA KAI NAILS ITOH IN THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR! Itoh goes down to one knee and looks up at Dakota Kai with wide eyes! Itoh pounds on her head with the heel of her palm and cries out loud, she's no-selling the attack-- CRACK! A SECOND SHOT SENDS ITOH TO THE MAT! Dakota discards the chair and looks over at Jinny... THEN POINTS AT THE SECOND TITLE!

[ Tony Schiavone ] What... is... happening!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I think we just witnessed... an understanding being reached!

Jinny looks at Dakota and then up at the belt before turning and slowly climbing the ropes. Standing on the top, she unsnaps the title from the pole and brings it down, ending the match!

WINNERS & NEW CHAMPIONS
DAKOTA KAI & JINNY in 9:16

Jinny slumps down in the corner and clutches the title her chest. Dakota Kai looks down at her with her own half of the titles dangling from one hand. Their eyes meet and Dakota extends her hand. Jinny looks repulsed but accepts the gesture and stands up, looking Dakota right in the eyes, then lifting her title in the air. Dakota nods and raises her own belt with a cocky smirk.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Was... was this planned?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I'm not sure, but it's safe to say that both of these women feel they've made an upgrade from their previous alliances. Dakota Kai wanted no part of teaming with the woman who nearly crippled 'er... and Jinny has made it no secret that she despises Maki Itoh-- and really, all Japanese women's wrestlers.

[ Scott Steiner ] I got no problem with some tight Asian cuisine.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It's very realistic that Dakota Kai saw an opportunity to form an alliance with one of the dominant competitors in the history of SGW's women's division. She signed up for this event on the promise of a singles booking and got this mess instead. If ya' gonna be forced to tag with someone, you might as well do it with the best, yeah?

[ Scott Steiner ] God damn right. Just like when Jeff Jarrett hitched his lazy ass to my bandwagon back in, like 2001. He knew he couldn't get the job done alone, so he came t' the Big Bad BOOTY DADDY to do the heavy lifting! The Inhumane Society was the fuckin' tits!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] In the end, who knows why Dakota Kai made the decision she did. We won't know for sure until we hear the explanation come straight from 'er own mouth. Until then, we absorb what we just witnessed... and wait.

Jinny turns and leaves the ring, collecting WALTER and Breeze along the way. They begin walking up the ramp. Dakota follows shortly after, keeping her distance but remaining close enough. Dakota turns back around to look at the chaos left in the ring and smiles, raising her championship one more time before we fade to black.

Backstage.

We can still hear the fans rumbling in the arena.

Wade Barrett is changing into his street clothes, shirtless with some black slacks. He takes a moment to towel himself off before putting on a button-up white dress shirt. Before he can get it buttoned, he's approached by Cathy Kelley. She has a microphone in her hand. Barrett takes a moment to look her up and down before deciding to leave his shirt unbuttoned for the time being.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Wade Barrett, welcome to Solid Gold Wrestling--

[ Wade Barrett ] It's a pleasure t' be here.

[ Cathy Kelley ] --even though we're in North Korea and this is probably the last show ever unless another evil dictator wants to spend millions of dollars on a vanity event while their people starve to death in the streets.

Barrett huffs and begins buttoning his shirt.

[ Wade Barrett ] Right.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Anyway, you won your debut match, seizing the flag of your country and waving it proudly... what a moment. It's no secret that your road to SGW has been a long and complicated one, but you finally made it and now you've earned a shot at the SGW Intercontinental Championship... I mean, I guess if SGW ever has another show, right?

Barrett gets his shirt all figured out and seems to pay her no mind as he begins putting on his tie. He answers her as he gets the tie perfectly in place.

[ Wade Barrett ] While the future of Solid Gold Wrestling may be questionable at best, I am keeping my eye on the Intercontinental title match tonight. I will study it and the men within it... and if SGW does indeed have another show, whether it be in a month or a year from now, rest assured I will be there. And on that day, whoever walks away as champion tonight will be in for a dose of... bad news.

Cathy smiles and looks into the camera.

[ Cathy Kelley ] He said it! He said the thing!

Barrett raises an eyebrow, confused, but before he can say anything else, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin walks into the shot and gets right in Barrett's face. Austin and Barrett stare each other down, their noses nearly touching. Barrett shows zero intimidation.

[ Wade Barrett ] What's the meaning of this, Steve?

[ Steve Austin ] Oh nothin'... I just thought I'd swing by and get a good look in the eyes of the man responsible for kidnappin' ol' Double J.

Barrett scoffs.

[ Wade Barrett ] Are you bloody drunk? What reason would I have to kidnap Jeff Jarrett? Besides, I thought you were convinced it was the, ahem--

He speaks louder for everyone to hear.

[ Wade Barrett ] --fine, upstanding, and hard working people of North Korea who were responsible... and what a crazy thought that is. How dare you endanger the rest of us on this trip with your ridiculous conspiracies.

[ Steve Austin ] Just unsual is all... a man tries t' make it to the big time for years and only just makes it when the owner of the company is outta' the picture. Somethin' like that, a pay day like this... seems like plenty of motivation t' ol' Stone Cold.

Cathy Kelley quietly excuses herself from the scene.

[ Wade Barrett ] You know, Steve... I really hope you're victorious tonight... because if you are and your ridiculous manhunt doesn't get us all shot in the street like dogs, it would be my pleasure to knock your head clean off your shoulders and take that championship away from you.

Austin continues staring Barrett down, then smirks.

[ Steve Austin ] That'll be the day.

Barrett smiles and nods, welcoming the fight.

[ Steve Austin ] I got my eye on you, Barrett.

Without another word, Austin turns and walks away.

Barrett cracks his knuckles, angry.

Ready for a fight.

Christian huffs.

Scrolling through his phone backstage, he shakes his head in disbelief.

[ Christian Cage ] Dude, what the heck happened to the tag division?

Edge, watching the show on a monitor in the corner, looks over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow. He appears visibly frustrated by the question.

[ Edge ] What are you even talking about?

Christian holds up his phone. He's skimming a roster.

[ Christian Cage ] We've got like three tag teams... two of them are Japanese guys I've never heard of and one of them has Shawn Spears on it. Did you know we hired Shawn Spears?

Edge turns away from the monitor and gives Christian his full attention.

[ Edge ] Of course I did. We signed him personally. We've interacted with him and Preston multiple times. Besides, why are you worried about the tag team division? The Best Friends made their return tonight. When or if we have another show, we've got a hellacious tag title unification match lined up. The first one in SGW history!

[ Christian Cage ] Ignoring literally everything else you said, did you really just ask me why I care about the tag division? They might as well rename it the Edge & Christian division, man! That's our division! Those are our belts! We're the best to ever do it in this company. Remember what happened in 2006? The tag division sucked so bad they just gave us the belts and left them on us... even after we broke up!

[ Edge ] Well, the alternative was pushing The Colossal Towers.

Edge shakes his head, getting his thoughts together.

[ Edge ] Either way, the teams we have... there's not a lot of them but they're ridiculously talented. Gold Class is made up of two of the best workers in the world and you can't deny that Pheromones are entertaining as hell. The ball pit match earlier tonight was way better than it had any right to be--

[ Christian Cage ] Edge, it was a match... IN A BALL PIT!

Edge places his hand on Christian's shoulder.

[ Edge ] Tell you what, bro... if we make it out of North Korea alive, I will personally go on the hunt for more tag teams and we'll make this division bigger and better than it's ever been.

Christian looks at Edge, concerned.

[ Christian Cage ] Well, not BETTER-better... I mean, we're not gonna be competing, so how much better could it really be? I mean, I'll compete if you want. I've got no problem lacing up the boots for another run. Six time champs does have a helluva' ring to it--

[ Edge ] We're not competing.

[ Christian Cage ] Of course not. That would be ridiculous.

[ Edge ] I'm serious.

[ Christian Cage ] Yeah, me too!

Christian gives Edge an exaggerated wink.

[ Edge ] I repeat, we are NOT competing.

Christian huffs.

[ Christian Cage ] Fine.

What's in store for the tag team division coming up?

Fade.

REFEREE: PAUL TURNER | STIPULATION: GGANBU TAG

While describing the four men in this contest as ‘strange bedfellows’ is frankly disrespectful to legions of bizarre compatriots the world over, it is a much more appropriate description than ‘gganbu,’ which our commentary team are currently discussing.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I’m not sure if either of you are fluent in Korean or familiar with the expression –

[ Scott Steiner ] BUKKAKE! Very fuckin’ familiar!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] – ggan—mmm…right. Not sure if either of you are familiar with the expression ‘gganbu,’ but in Korean it loosely translates to ‘old and close friend.’ Other translations can mean ‘partner,’ but in a way, there’s much more to ‘gganbu’ than a simple partnership.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wow! Such a deep and beautiful language!

[ Scott Steiner ] So I’m supposed to cum during the match, or what?!

While Dolph Ziggler seems content to start the match for his team, Miro steps in front of him confidently, leaving the “Show Off” a bit scorned, sulking off to the apron. Across the squared circle, the veteran Rob Conway asserts himself, pointing to the apron arrogantly and even lightly shoving Havoc away before stepping forward, cracking his knuckles before him, unthreatened by the Redeemer. Havoc snarls, but realizes what’s on the line here and allows his partner to kick off the match. As soon as Paul Turner calls for the bell, Miro and Conway charge ahead, tying up and rolling across the ropes, neither man ready to cede the advantage.

[ Scott Steiner ] CONWAY’S STILL JACKED – THAT OLD BASTARD MAY BE SOMETHIN’ YET!

Eventually, though, Miro roars and shoves Conway, who rolls up and rushes recklessly ahead, right into a headlock takeover! Miro keeps his meaty bicep wrapped tightly around Conway, whose stringy hair falls into his eyes and out of the ponytail from whence it came. Conway works up, elbowing Miro before breaking the hold and bouncing off the ropes, knocking Miro to the mat with a shoulder tackle!

[ Rob Conway ] HAH! Yeah, you see that, you Smiths-loving FUCKER?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Whoa, now, mate, let’s not drag Morrissey into this!

Havoc is less than impressed Conway, a tag-team specialist, drags Miro to his corner, screaming for Jimmy Havoc to tag into the contest, calling him a “skinny bitch” in the process. Havoc does so in the least conducive way possible for partners, slapping Conway across his jaws before stepping through the ropes as the North Korean fans gasp in excitement and fear of what’s to come. Conway jumps off the mat and immediately shoves Havoc, but Havoc pie-faces his ‘gganbu’ through the top and middle rope to the floor! The Korean fans gasp and cheer again as Havoc smirks, snarling down at Conway! Havoc turns to collect Miro, but the Redeemer is already refreshed and ducks under a grab, bounding ahead and into the ropes, leaping into the air to thrust kick Havoc in the chin! Miro floats perfectly to both knees on the mat, thrusting his arms to his side, palms up and praising God above for the picture-perfect strike!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] THE REDEEMER CONNECTS WITH THAT BEAUTIFUL STRIKE! TRULY HE IS AN INSTRUMENT OF GOD!

[ Scott Steiner ] I like to imagine God’s favorite instrument is a big, badass guitar made of sick black bones and skulls and shit like that with a flamethrower attached that shoots fire every time you play a power chord! I say that because that’s MY favorite instrument – I’M GOD, BITCH!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Now that’s just not true, Scott!

Miro wisely scoops Havoc off the mat and stomps across the ring, dropping him face-first on the turnbuckles with a Snake Eyes, dropping him into the corner as he tags in Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler leaps through the ropes effortlessly and darts into the far side ropes, clattering Havoc with a seated dropkick across the left cheek! Dragging his opponent into center ring, Ziggler covers – only a one count! Havoc punches Ziggler and the two begin brawling – first up to their knees – then stumbling to their feet – finally, the haymakers are reckless, each man throwing nearly quicker than the eye can see! Havoc scores with a gross headbutt, breaking the monotonous brawl and stunning Ziggler before hooking him and DRIVING Ziggler head-first into the mat with a DDT! Jimmy Havoc makes the cover – but his attempt only gets a two count!

Havoc pushes on, lifting Ziggler from the mat and scooping him, looking for a Michinoku Driver, but Ziggler scurries out – he’s looking for the Zig Zag! – Havoc with a snapmare, though, and Ziggler rolls to his feet and off the ropes – leaps for the Fame-ass-er, but Havoc turns through it – BIG GERMAN SUPLEX! Ziggler smashes neck-first into the canvas and Havoc maintains the hold – one, two, no! Only two again for Jimmy Havoc!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Unorthodox as he may be, Jimmy Havoc is one of the toughest competitors we’ve seen in Solid Gold Wrestling! You remember, Nigel and Scott, he defeated Killer Kross last year in the Mummy’s Cur—

[ Scott Steiner ] DON’T YOU FUCKING EVEN BRING THAT SHIT UP!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That match aside, Havoc is certainly a storied competitor in SGW – you’ll recall his classic matches with Adam Cole, Val Venis, and even multi-man skirmishes like the WrestleBrawl match or the nine-person deathmatch from Card Subject to Change!

[ Scott Steiner ] OH YEAH! The fuckin’ Ice Creams DIED in that shit!

[ Tony Schiavone ] *sniffle*…and God rest their scrumptious souls…

Havoc’s eyes are full of bloody rage and his lips purse evilly into a maniacal grin as he pulls Ziggler from the mat by the hair and slaps him spinning him backwards – but maintaining control of Dolph’s wrist! Havoc turns him inside out – ACID RAINMAKER – NO! Ziggler hooks around Havoc’s arm and scores – ZIG ZAG! Both men are down! Paul Turner makes the painstaking count up to seven as both men inch to their corners, Conway and Miro practically foaming at the mouth and ready to tear into one another yet again. At the count of eight, Havoc tags Conway, who steps into the ring and ACROSS his partner’s back, turning back arrogantly to spit upon Havoc! The very next second, Ziggler’s hand claps Miro’s and in comes the Redeemer, over the top rope and screaming at full volume, getting the attention of Rob Conway again! Conway mouths “oh shi—” but isn’t quick enough to stop Miro from shoulder charging, lifting him onto his shoulder and plowing into the corner! Miro with repeated shoulder tackles! Over and over, Miro’s beefy shoulder plows deeper into the defined abdominals of Rob Conway, suffering the Conman with each shot. ‘The Redeemer’ pulls Conway out of the corner and hooks his massive arms around the waist – gutwrench suplex! Conway is rocked and Miro covers – only a two count!

The Redeemer is unfazed by the count and stands, pulling Conway to his feet with him! Miro screams in Conway’s face and charges into the far ropes, but Conway is right behind him and cuts off the momentum – knee lift right in the ropes! Miro is staggered and Conway’s ready to capitalize – front facelock! Conway lifts Miro, propping him up onto the top rope – he’s looking for the Ego Trip! – but before the Con Man can swing under and drive Miro’s neck into the mat, Jimmy Havoc PLASTERS his ‘gganbu’ with a running forearm to the back! Conway releases Miro, who slumps into the ring, but Rob’s got bigger things to worry about – namely, Jimmy Havoc CLATTERING HIS ASS WITH THE ACID RAINMAKER!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Jimmy Havoc has had enough of Rob Conway!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] These two have been at one another’s throats all match long!

Havoc leaps from the ring and to the floor, stomping angrily up the aisle before turning back and yelling for Conway to fuck himself! Back in the ring, Miro is alive and re-energized, stomping Conway in the back – and applies GAME OVER! Conway’s weakened – and slaps Miro’s leg! The tag team portion of the match is over!

WINNERS
MIRO & DOLPH ZIGGLER via SUBMISSION in 9:09

Paul Turner helps Conway to the floor, where ringside crew members attend to him as Ziggler and Miro take a breath and realize what their victory means – now the Gganbu must face one another!

[ Tony Schiavone ] As the Highlander says, “There can only be one!”

[ Scott Steiner ] MOTHER FUCK! IT’S ‘THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE,’ YOU FUCKING PLEB PIECE OF SHIT! YOU CAN’T EVEN BE A FUCKIN’ NERD RIGHT, YOU FECKLESS CUCK!

Turner indicates to both men that now the match is a singles affair and as Ziggler pulls himself up to his feet in the corner, Miro is a freight train of pain, hurdling rapidly into the corner and SMASHING Ziggler with a shoulder tackle! And another! Ziggler slumps, seated in the corner and Miro takes a step back, looking wildly around the arena and then up to the Heavens! He runs into the far corner, bounces, and charges again, hip-first into Ziggler’s head! Dolph’s eyes roll back in agony at the blow, but it’s not done yet – Miro lifts him up, in a vertical suplex and holds him there!

After ten seconds, Miro throws his arm out to the side and completes the suplex, the North Korean fans roaring in excitement at the display of strength. Miro covers – one! Two, no! No, Ziggler slips his shoulder free at two – but the Redeemer doesn’t seem plussed in the slightest, only momentarily delayed by Dolph’s resilience. Looking up to the Heavens and nodding, seemingly hearing the voice of God himself instructing him in what to do, Miro stands and takes a few steps back, waiting as Ziggler extends his own energy to rise up and face him. Dolph does so, wobbly-legged, and Miro rushes in – OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That’s GOT to be it!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Dolph has already endured so much punishment! You just know he's wishing the Wingmen made the trip to North Korea with him!

[ Scott Steiner ] Who in the fuck are the Wingmen?!

Miro covers but only gets TWO before Ziggler throws a shoulder up! Miro returns to his feet and begins walking around the ring with his arms thrown to the side, showing the North Korean fans how big and strong he is. He turns back to Ziggler, who is once again pushing off the mat and up to his feet. Miro charges and lashes Dolph in the mouth with a flying thrust kick as the fans groan in agony, spittle flying from Ziggler’s mouth upon impact!

[ Scott Steiner ] GOD DAMN! ZIGGLER AIN'T GONNA BE EATIN' SOLID FOOD FOR A MONTH!

Miro is a house of fire! He attempts to capitalize but Ziggler rolls to the apron, favoring his chin. Ziggler uses the ropes to pull himself back up but Miro is waiting on him, grabbing two handfuls of hair and then hooking him for a suplex! He lifts Ziggler up to suplex him back into the ring but Ziggler fires up and escapes the suplex with a series of punches to the mid-section! Once Miro releases the hold, Ziggler leaps and nails him with an ENZIGURI from the apron! Miro staggers out into the center of the ring and Ziggler dashes across the apron and climbs the turnbuckles! Miro regains his senses but it's too late! Turning back to Dolph Ziggler, Miro EATS a massive dropkick from the top rope! Ziggler covers – ONE! TWO! NO! Miro kicks out and Ziggler instantly smacks the mat in fury, pulling wildly at his hair! Realizing the time is nigh to capitalize, Ziggler leaps up and drops a stiff elbow onto Miro’s chest – AND ANOTHER – AND A THIRD! Ziggler jumps again, but lands on his feet and flexes his muscles before wiping his boot across Miro’s face! The fans boo him horribly as he steps into the corner, cracking his neck and grinning wickedly before taking both hands across the top rope and stomping his boot! AGAIN! AND AGAIN! Ziggler is tuning up the damn band!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Cocky as he may be, Dolph Ziggler can end this contest right here and right now!

Miro rises, somehow magnetized up by the stomping and Ziggler pounces, thrusting his superkick ahead – but Miro catches it! Ziggler’s eyes go wide as Miro pulls him in – and up! – POWERBOMB! Ziggler splats across the canvas and rolls back onto his stomach and the fans in North Korea pop again – it’s time for GAME OVER! Miro stamps over and kicks Ziggler right in the small of the back, preparing to lock on the hold – but before he can, Ziggler flips onto his back, rakes Miro's eyes, then scrambles forward and grabs onto the bottom rope!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Miro was only seconds away from ending this match!

[ Scott Steiner ] WHAT A FUCKING COWARD! TAKE YOUR BEATIN' LIKE A MAN, ZIGGLER!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Cowardly or not, it was necessary for Ziggler's survival!

Miro recovers in the corner as Dolph rolls to the floor and grabs a steel chair. He slides it into the ring, then follows it inside, keeping his eyes on Miro as he does. Returning to his feet, he picks up the chair and sizes Miro up... only for Miro to turn around and pin him in place with a wide-eyed stare! Miro points at Ziggler... AND ZIGGLER SWINGS THE CHAIR-- NO! MIRO CATCHES IT AND AND RIPS IT FROM HIS GRASP! Miro roars at Ziggler!

[ Miro ] I will show Dolph Ziggler the mercy he deserves… NO MERCY!

The fans pop huge as Ziggler’s eyes go wide! Miro swings the chair, but Ziggler ducks! Miro turns – right into a Dolph Ziggler superkick! The superkick hits the mark and Ziggler falls directly onto Miro in a cover! ONE! TWO! THR—NO! MIRO KICKS OUT and the entire Rungrado 1st of May Stadium explodes! Ziggler scrambles for the chair and grabs it, posting up in the corner and waiting for Miro to stand! Paul Turner shouts at Ziggler to lose the chair or get disqualified... but Ziggler doesn't care! Miro returns to his feet, standing on spaghetti legs... and ZIGGLER SWINGS THE CHAIR! –

BUT MIRO SIDE-STEPS THE SHOT!

Ziggler turns and Miro snatches the chair from his grasp... but does it so wildly that his elbow catches Paul Turner in the eye! Paul Turner falls to one knee with his back to the action! Miro is caught off guard by Paul Turner going down, leaving himself vulnerable for a SUPERKICK! ZIGGLER KICKED THE CHAIR STRAIGHT INTO MIRO'S FACE!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] OH MY! RIGHT TO THE CHAIR!

Miro drops the chair and stumbles ahead, shaking off the blow and screaming! A stunned Ziggler throws another Superkick and connects! Miro is dazed but shakes it off again!

[ Tony Schiavone ] MIRO WILL NOT FALL!

Ziggler, exasperated, shouts “oh, what the fuck?!” and throws a third superkick – BUT MIRO CATCHES IT, SPINNING HIM AROUND! Miro launches into a lariat, but Ziggler ducks – ZIG ZAG! ZIG ZAG! Right on the back of the head! Ziggler puts all of his weight on Miro’s legs, bending him over into a jackknife and earning the three count!

WINNER
DOLPH ZIGGLER via PINFALL in 7:28

“Here to Show the World” blares through the speakers and Ziggler falls from his opponent, absolutely spent from the contest prior. Paul Turner assists Miro to the apron, then turns and presents Ziggler with an envelope containing the Golden Ticket.

[ Scott Steiner ] Well, fuck!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] By hook or by crook, Dolph Ziggler has earned the victory here – and with it, a Golden Ticket, gentlemen! – there have been less than five of these prestigious trophies handed out in the storied history of Solid Gold Wrestling!

[ Tony Schiavone ] If it wasn't for that dirty rotten Ziggler using a steel chair, Miro would have picked up the win! He dominated through the entire match!

Paul Turner raises Ziggler's arm in victory. Dolph shakes free of his grip and climbs to the second rope, pointing at himself and screaming to the fans, none of whom can understand him, that “his time is now – beyond it all and through the bullshit, he’s done it!”

[ Nigel McGuinness ] And look, gentlemen! A team of North Korean representatives are presenting Ziggler with his 10,000,000 Won!

Ziggler takes the sack, filled with Won, and clenches his fists, a wicked smile spreading from ear to ear! We see a tight shot of Dolph’s triumphant face, scrunched through the pain and agony, screaming with pride as we get pan out to a broad, wide shot of him standing over the audience as we fade from the scene.

Cody and Brandi Rhodes stand outside of their locker room door with the camera facing them. Cody is in his ring gear with the WLCW World Championship around his waist while Brandi is dressed more modestly than normal due to the circumstances.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Tonight, we find ourselves strangers in a strange land. There’s not a lot of things in common that we share here from ways of life, politics, and just about anything else. In fact, I could only think of one thing everyone here can agree with.. And that’s our love for professional wrestling.

Ever ready to give a stump speech at the drop of a hat.

[ Cody Rhodes ] While the roads that led us here are full of controversy, tonight, we all have jobs to do.

Bryan Danielson steps into the scene and cuts Cody off, waving his arms back and forth.

[ Bryan Danielson ] NO, NO NO, NO! HOLD ON! HOLD ON, OKAY?!

Cody huffs in frustration as Danielson continues his obnoxious interruption.

[ Bryan Danielson ] A second-rate champion like you doesn’t get promo time, Cody! You don’t deserve it! Where were you when SGW closed the first time? Where were you during SGW KILLS, huh? You hightailed it out of here and now, when it’s convenient, you come crawling back.

Danielson snarls.

[ Bryan Danielson ] Fickle.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Don’t you have a match to prepare for, Dragon?

[ Bryan Danielson ] I’m the UNDEFEATED Champion around these parts. TRIPLE CROWN, CODY! TRIPLE! CROWN! You know what that means? It means I’m absorbing championships and tonight, I’m adding one more.

Danielson looks unimpressed at the WLCW Championship, but before Cody can respond, Dolph Ziggler walks onto the scene, the sack of North Korean Won tucked under his arm. You can cut the tension with a knife as he walks right up to Cody and Danielson, eyeing them both.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Real excited to see you two get it on in the main event.

Cody smirks. Danielson just looks... non-plussed.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] I'm sure you're gonna tear the house down tonight.. But you know, it'd be a real shame if someone... STOLE THE SHOW at the last minute. Wouldn't it?

He bends over and plucks the Golden Ticket from his boot. He looks it over. The gold flickers in his eyes. Brandi folds her arms across her chest, scowling at him.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] That belt was supposed to be mine at Body Count, so I might have a GOLDEN opportunity to right a wrong from 2020... or maybe not. I haven't decided if this company deserves to call me champion yet.

Danielson clenches his fists, angry. Cody refuses to break eye contact with Ziggler.

[ Dolph Ziggler ] Maybe I'll see you later, fellas.

Ziggler walks off-camera, leaving Cody, Brandi, and Danielson to themselves. They watch him go and once they're sure he's not coming back, Cody and Danielson turn and look at one another. No more words are exchanged, they just go their separate ways.

Fade.

REFEREE: RICK KNOX | STIPULATION: SCHOOLYARD MASSACRE

Everyone turns their attention to the Golden-Tron.

In another area of the arena, a space has been completely redecorated to look like a children's playground. There's grass, a swing set, a seesaw, a merry-go-round, even a sandbox... at the center of the playground, there's an obscenely large jungle gym, maybe twenty feet high! Hanging above it, there's a gift box with a mysterious prize inside.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Would ya' look at all this, guys. It really takes me back!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It's creepy, ya' know, the amount o' detail that's gone into recreating this playground aesthetic... especially knowing that it's 'bout t' be used for all manner of pain and suffering!

[ Scott Steiner ] I tell ya' what, I don't think there's any man who woulda' ever had the balls to try 'n make me compete in a god damn playground... but lookin' around at all this shit, I think I coulda' done some damage t' some o' the fat bodies they had me workin' in the glory days! I woulda' bounced the Big Nasty's fat ass head off that merry-go-round, give him somethin' brand new to bitch about besides how he never got t' win the big one over me!

All three women involved in the match begin in a different corner of the schoolyard arena. Rick Knox makes the long walk around and collects the SGW Women's World Championship from Alexa Bliss before moving on to take the WLCW Women's World Championship from Hikari Noa. Starlight Kid seems apprehensive about turning over her coveted SGW Goddess of SHOCK Crown... but does so anyway. Rick Knox hands the titles off to a masked soldier in a pink jumpsuit then turns and shouts--

[ Rick Knox ] RING THE BELL!

Instead of a traditional bell, we hear a loud, obnoxious school bell rattle off to signal the beginning of the match! Starlight Kid immediately sprints for the center of the schoolyard, going for the jungle gym! Hikari Noa meets her there and pulls her down by a handful of tights! Alexa Bliss looks around frantically for something to use a weapon before charging up behind Hikari Noa and hitting her with a LUNG BLOWER straight down into the grass! Alexa rolls straight back to her feet and Starlight Kid nails her with a big forearm! Alexa and Starlight trade forearm blows before Alexa takes over with a knee to the gut and lifts Starlight Kid up, dropping her throat first across one of the bars of the jungle gym! Smiling, Alexa ascends the jungle gym... until Hikari Noa returns to her feet and slips underneath her... POWERBOMBING HER STRAIGHT INTO THE GRASS!

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is brutal! That powerbomb must have knocked the wind clear out of Alexa Bliss!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Hikari Noa knows what it means to leave this match as the unified champion, Tony! In her previous company, she went to war on a weekly basis with women such as Momo Watanabe, Jamie Hayter, and Julia Hart! When that company closed its doors, she was on top of the division and her chance to reign supreme was stolen from her! Defeating Alexa Bliss and Starlight Kid tonight won't just make her a champion, it will make her a LEGEND!

Hikari begins climbing again but Starlight Kid catches her ankle and pulls her down. Before Hikari can even respond, Starlight Kid plants her with a NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX and then leaps onto the jungle gym... but she's not climbing to the top... OH NO! MOONSAULT FROM FOUR RUNGS UP ONTO HIKARI NOA! Starlight Kid sits up and favors her throat, looking up at the gift box at the top of the jungle gym! She begins climbing again... but sees Alexa getting back to her feet... MOONSAULT FROM FIVE RUNGS UP ONTO ALEXA BLISS! All three women are down!

[ Scott Steiner ] The kid in the tiger mask is breakin' out that flippy shit like nobody's business! She ain't gonna have no knees or hips by the time she's fuckin' thirty! Bullshit ass outlaw luchador shit!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Starlight Kid is one of the most promising talents in Solid Gold Wrestling, Scott. Quite simply, there's no one else like her in the company and with her... ahem... "uncle" Jushin Thunder Liger mentoring her, the sky is the limit!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Jushin Thunder Liger, one of the first SGW Television Champions ever, a lineage now shared by Christopher Daniels and Ezekiel!

Starlight Kid is the first one up and she covers Alexa Bliss! ONE! TWO! ALEXA KICKS OUT! Starlight Kid open hand slaps her on the stomach and stands up, bringing Alexa with her by a handful of hair. She drags Alexa toward the merry-go-round and sets her up for a POWERBOMB... but ALEXA BACKDROPS HER ONTO THE STEEL MERRY-GO-ROUND! Starlight Kid cries out in pain and Alexa turns and spins it as hard as she can! Starlight Kid holds on for dear life as Alexa gives it a few more good spins and then... turns right around into a DIVING CLOTHESLINE FROM HIKARI NOA! Hikari pulls Alexa back to her feet and drags her toward the seesaw! Hikari tries to make Alexa lay face first on the seesaw but Alexa fights back, forearming Hikari right in the jaw! Alexa then trips Hikari, causing her to fall face first onto the seat! Alexa boots Hikari in the side of the head and lifts the seat, dragging Hikari underneath! She raises the seat and TRIES TO SLAM IT DOWN ON HIKARI'S HEAD! NO! HIKARI MOVES! THE SEAT MAKES A SIX INCH INDENTION IN THE GROUND!

[ Tony Schiavone ] MY GOODNESS! THAT WOULD'VE KILLED HER!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That's how much these titles mean to these ladies, Tony!

Furious, Alexa snatches Hikari off the mat and drags her toward the sandbox. She pulls her in and PLANTS HER with a DDT right in the sand! Alexa sits up with a huge smile on her face... but immediately gets nailed with a basement crossbody from Starlight Kid! Starlight Kid is visibly wobbly from being made dizzy by the merry-go-round, but she gives it her all by rubbing Alexa's face in the sand! Finally, Starlight Kid gets up and ventures back to the jungle gym! She begins climbing... only to have her ankle grabbed by Alexa Bliss! Alexa is hacking up sand and trying to keep it out of her eyes but Starlight Kid BOOTS HER DOWN! Alexa lands flat on her back and Starlight Kid climbs out of her reach! She makes it to the top and realizes there's absolutely zero way to stand atop the jungle gym safely and grab the gift box!

[ Scott Steiner ] This bitch is dead! There's no way she don't fall! That thing is wobbly as shit!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It's a risk she has to take!

Taking a deep breath, Starlight Kid pulls down the gift box and quickly gets in a safer position. She fumbles with the bow and removes the lid... revealing... THE CYBERFIGHTS WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!

NEW CYBERFIGHTS
WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPION
STARLIGHT KID

Starlight Kid smiles and straps the title around her torso like a bandolier! She looks down and sees Hikari Noa has returned to her feet! She's brawling with Alexa Bliss twenty feet below! Starlight Kid drags her thumb across her throat and leaps... TAKING THEM BOTH DOWN INTO THE GRASS WITH A SUICIDAL CROSSBODY!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OHHHH MY GOODNESS!

[ Scott Steiner ] She's fuckin' dead! GOTTA BE!

Starlight Kid rolls off Alexa and Hikari. Rick Knox removes the CyberFights championship from around her torso and hands it off to a masked guard. All three women are motionless! Rick Knox looks down at them, scratching his bald head and wondering what to do next.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That was the CyberFights Women's World Championship that Starlight Kid just revealed! Peyton Royce held that championship, undefeated 'til the day the company closed its doors!

[ Tony Schiavone ] But what's it doing here, Nigel!? Has Solid Gold Wrestling purchased another company? We've already seen the LEGACY Pro World Tag Team Championship defended tonight, will we see more CyberFights championship belts?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I... I don't know! Solid Gold Wrestling is barely hanging on as it is, why the bloody hell would they be buying new companies at this stage in the game-- GENTLEMEN, LOOK! SHE'S UP!

Starlight Kid pushes herself up to all fours and then rolls over to cover Hikari Noa! ONE! TWO! THR-- HIKARI BRIDGES OUT! Alexa Bliss rolls back to her feet and snatches Starlight Kid off the ground, then plants her with a snap suplex! Hikari Noa scrambles back to her feet and points at Alexa, shrieking in Japanese before charging and nailing her with a SHOTGUN DROPKICK! Alexa goes down hard and Hikari grabs her legs, twisting them into the BLUE RACER PIN! ONE! TWO! THRE-- STARLIGHT KID BREAKS THE PIN! Starlight and Hikari begin trading forearms like crazy until Hikari fires off with a headbutt! Starlight staggers back and Hikari charges, nailing her with a leaping clothesline! Starlight Kid goes down and Hikari pounds her chest, screaming something in Japanese before turning around into... OH MY GOD! TWISTED BLISS FROM ABOUT EIGHT RUNGS UP ON THE JUNGLE GYM! ALL THREE WOMEN ARE DOWN AGAIN!

[ Scott Steiner ] Ain't none of these broads gonna be able to walk after this shit!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The stakes are high with FOUR championship belts now on the line!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You're right, Tony, not only are the SGW, WLCW, and Goddess of SHOCK championships on the line, the CyberFights championship has been added to the bloody pot as well!

There's a screech over the loudspeaker, then a voice.

[ The Administrator ] Ladies, since you have decided to go all out for this contest, the Supreme Leader would like to reward you for your efforts with... another gift box. This one is located beneath the sandbox... buried. Fight hard to retrieve it, but mostly importantly... have fun.

Alexa is the first one up, using the jungle gym to brace herself.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Another mystery box? Colour me intrigued, gentlemen!

[ Tony Schiavone ] As if the stakes couldn't be any higher!

Alexa staggers toward the sandbox but she's attacked from behind by Starlight Kid! Starlight knocks her down and mounts her, punching away! Starlight is abruptly tackled from the side by... NIKKI CROSS! Starlight Kid and Nikki Cross fight it out, rolling across the grass! Hikari Noa can barely stand, falling to all fours and crawling toward the sandbox until... KONAMI AND YU ISHINO reach her and help her to her feet! They drag her toward the sandbox until they find themselves blocked by... JUSHIN THUNDER LIGER!

[ Tony Schiavone ] THERE HE IS! THE LEGEND HIMSELF!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Will Jushin Liger forsake his honor and help Starlight Kid win this match by underhanded means--

LIGER NAILS KONAMI WITH A WHEEL KICK!

[ Scott Steiner ] Fuck yeah, he will!

Konami goes down, cradling her head. Yu Ishino lets go of Hikari, who falls to her knees. Ishino eyeballs Liger and they stare each other down. With no fanfare, Ishino takes his shirt off and tosses it aside, flexing and daring Liger to bring it on! LIGER AND ISHINO BEGIN TRADING PUNCHES! Liger takes over with a knee lift and pulls him in... he lifts him up for a LIGER BOMB but Hikari comes alive and nails him from behind with a LOW BLOW! LIGER FALLS TO HIS KNEES! Ishino lands on his feet and nails Liger with a KNEE LIFT STRAIGHT TO THE CHIN! Liger goes down! Hikari and Ishino high five... but get taken down by a double clothesline from Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross! It's their turn to high five until-- BAM! KONAMI EXECUTES A PICTURE PERFECT ROUNDHOUSE, KNOCKING NIKKI CROSS STONE COLD UNCONSCIOUS! Alexa immediately boots Konami in the stomach... DDT! Alexa gets back up... just in time to receive a SHINING WIZARD FROM STARLIGHT KID! EVERYONE IS DOWN BUT THE SKY TIGER!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This might be her best opportunity to win the match!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Should she go for the pin or should she go for the mystery box!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] ALWAYS THE PIN, TONY! There's no way t' bloody know what's in that box! What if it's just thumbtacks or broken glass!? Some twisted manner of inflicting pain upon your opponent!? Why introduce a weapon into the match when you could win now... when you could END IT NOW!?

Starlight Kid goes for the sandbox! She begins digging aggressively with both hands! Within seconds... SHE'S FOUND THE BOX! She rips off the bow and removes the lid... to reveal the LARIAT UNDERGROUND WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!

NEW LARIAT UNDERGROUND
WOMEN'S WORLD CHAMPION
STARLIGHT KID

Starlight Kid holds the title tightly against her chest and cries out in victory!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You've gotta be joking me, gentlemen! First, the LEGACY Pro World Tag Team Championship... then the CyberFights Women's World Championship... and now the LARIAT Underground Women's World Championship!? What's going on!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It's another championship added to the final prize! And we won't have to wait six weeks to see where this one ends up!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is the first time in SGW history that FIVE CHAMPIONSHIPS will be unified at once, and the bloody Starlight Kid is in possession of THREE OF THEM!

Rick Knox takes the title and hands it off with the rest! Starlight Kid steps out of the sandbox and is immediately confronted by Alexa Bliss and Hikari Noa! All three women are beaten to hell and back! There's no sign of any of their friends... only our three competitors remain! Starlight Kid is breathing heavily and her hair sticks out through a tear near the ear of her mask. She clenches her fists and holds her hands out at her sides. She ROARS in Japanese!

[ Starlight Kid ] < You dare to challenge me now?! I hold the power of three championships! When I am done with you, I will hold the power of FIVE! I AM NO LONGER THE LOVABLE AND COMEDIC SURROGATE CHILD OF CATHY KELLEY! You cannot hope to defeat me, weaklings! THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM! >

Hikari Noa points at Starlight Kid, speaking in a confident, heroic tone.

[ Hikari Noa ] < Your reign of terror ends here, Starlight Kid! When this match is over, I will call myself the greatest champion of them all! >

Alexa looks from Starlight to Hikari and back to Starlight. She grits her teeth, sounding frustrated.

[ Alexa Bliss ] I don't fucking speak Japanese! Let's just finish this shit!

Alexa and Hikari look at each other and then charge toward Starlight Kid-- NO! Alexa fakes Hikari out! Hikari charges at Starlight Kid alone... only for her to walk right into A LARIAT FROM NYLA ROSE!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Whoa, hold on! What's going on here!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] IT'S... IT'S NYLA SODDING ROSE! THE NATIVE BEAST, TONY!

Hikari turns inside out and lands all on her head and neck! Nyla turns and snatches up Starlight Kid... BEAST BOMB INTO THE SANDBOX! Nyla beats her chest and roars victoriously before turning and looking at Alexa Bliss with an ear to ear grin.

[ Nyla Rose ] ARE YOU PINNING ONE O' THESE BITCHES OR NOT, BARBIE DOLL!?

Alexa snaps to action and covers Starlight Kid! ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNER & UNIFIED CHAMPION
ALEXA BLISS via PINFALL in 13:41

As soon as the three count is registered, Alexa Bliss sits up on her knees next to Starlight Kid with tears in her eyes! Rick Knox retrieves her prizes and returns to the sandbox, falling to his knees in front of her and handing her all four championships and her new crown!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Welp, we're never gonna hear the end of this!

[ Scott Steiner ] This tasty little blonde blowpop just broke all kinds o' fuckin' world title records! This is the kinda' opportunity I woulda' loved to have had back in my glory days... or even today! Put me in the ring with Cody and Danielson tonight, I'll put my Lifetime SGW title on the line and I'll make some god damn history for sure!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] SGW, WLCW, CyberFights, LARIAT Underground, and SHOCK! The Goddess now rules over them all, undisputed! All thanks to a little help from her new friend, Nyla bloody Rose!

Nyla Rose helps Alexa to her feet. Alexa can barely hold her arm up with all four straps laid across it. Nyla Rose takes the Goddess of SHOCK crown and places it on Alexa's head. Rick Knox takes a step back and just shakes his head at the sight of Alexa doing her best to hang on to all of her gold.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Where's Nikki Cross?! Was she in on this?! Where did Nyla Rose even come from!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I can't imagine Nikki Cross was left out in the cold on this one but with Alexa Bliss, who really knows. The Goddess moves in mysterious ways!

[ Scott Steiner ] The Goddess? Look at all those damn belts, Timothy Dalton! She's not The Goddess anymore... SHE'S THE FUCKIN' GOLDEN GODDESS AND YOUR ASS BETTER BOW DOWN!

We fade out on a shot of Nyla Rose raising Alexa's arm in victory.

Backstage.

The interview backdrop.

Cathy Kelley is standing by with a microphone in her hand. She prepares to begin the interview but before she can even speak, the microphone is snatched out of her hand by Gionna Daddio! Gionna looks annoyed. Cathy opens her mouth to speak up but the winner of the first-ever SHE-1 tournament quickly cuts her off.

[ Gionna Daddio ] Uh-uh. You're done.

Cathy's shoulders slump and she walks away, defeated. Gionna nods at someone off-camera and Jimmy Havoc walks into the shot seconds later. Havoc is still in his gear, sweaty, angry... and clutching an axe. He's trembling with anger... clearly pissed about how the Gganbu tag team match ended up. He slowly turns his head and looks into the camera, then shakes his head.

[ Jimmy Havoc ] I don't know why I'm bloody surprised anymore.

He turns to face the camera, gripping the axe in front of him.

[ Jimmy Havoc ] Ever since I first stepped foot in this company, it's been nothing but disrespect... all because I had the audacity t' come here from LARIAT Underground and defeat ya' golden boy, Cody Rhodes, for a d-level championship on my first night. That's it, innit?

Sweat drips off the tip of his nose.

[ Jimmy Havoc ] You screwed me against Adam Cole at Heartbreaka'... you screwed me against Val Venis at Supremacy, and now ya' screwed me again by makin' me team up wit' one o' ya' shitty legacy wrestlers instead of someone who can actually get the job done... fuck off! Rob Conway!? Is that a joke?!

He turns and gives Gionna a push on the shoulder.

[ Jimmy Havoc ] Are they havin' a bloody laugh!?

[ Gionna Daddio ] I don't think it's funny.

[ Jimmy Havoc ] That's because it's not. They think it is, but it ain't, is it? She ain' laughin'... I ain' laughin' either. Rob Conway. Was bloody Barry Windham busy? Couldn't get the Repo Man on the phone, could ya'? Fuck you! Fuck this company, I've had enough of it! Goin' forward, I'm takin' what--

Before he can finish his thought, MIRO charges into the scene and nearly knocks him down! Havoc drops the axe on impact and Gionna quickly picks it up. Havoc glares at Miro as he pays no attention to the disruption he's caused. Miro stares into the camera, roaring at the top of his lungs!

[ Miro ] Enough rambling from the puny skeleton man!

Miro points at himself with both thumbs.

[ Miro ] It does not matter what he will or will not tolerate in the coming days, because a far more important journey will take place now... the journey of THE REDEEMER... for I will travel the entire earth and all of the heavens and I will find GOD and I WILL DEMAND TO KNOW WHY MIRO WAS ROBBED OF VICTORY IN TONIGHT'S GGANBU TAG TEAM MATCH!

Miro holds his hands out in front of him and stares down at them.

[ Miro ] Why was I summoned from my peaceful existence as an e-sports promoter, called back into a life of violence, if this was my destiny... WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS, GOD?!

Miro is suddenly violently shoved by Jimmy Havoc! Miro turns around and gets right back in Havoc's face! They stand forehead to forehead, both of them ready to throw hands at a moment's notice.

[ Jimmy Havoc ] You must be out o' your fuckin' mind if you think you're walkin' away from this one, cunt. You picked the wrong guy on the wrong fuckin' day 'n your 'bout t' find that out real quick.

[ Miro ] Do it! DO IT, LITTLE SKELETON MAN! Reveal your brand of pain to Miro! THE REDEEMER WILL CHEW IT UP, DIGEST IT, AND RELEASE IT BACK UPON YOU! What you experienced earlier tonight will only serve as an appetizer for what you will endure at my hands one-on-one!

Havoc holds his hand out and Gionna places the axe in his hand. Miro sees the axe and smiles, then takes a step back and gestures for Havoc to bring it on. Havoc grips the axe with both hands and prepares to raise it but he's interrupted by a voice.

[ The Administrator ] That is enough.

Havoc and Miro both stop and look as the Administrator walks into the shot. He stands calmly between them as if he has no fear of what violence may transpire around him... or to him.

[ The Administrator ] Your games are over for the evening. Your pointless fighting will not be tolerated. You are now being asked to return to your dressing room.

Miro and Havoc stare each down, pissed. Gionna looks uneasy.

[ The Administrator ] You will only be asked... once.

Gionna puts her hand on Havoc.

[ Gionna Daddio ] Let's go. We don't have time for this.

Havoc looks at her, then Miro... then back to her. He nods.

[ The Administrator ] Perhaps you two can settle your issue... another time.

Miro hocks and spits on the floor in front of the Administrator and storms off in a huff. Havoc and Gionna walk in the other direction, leaving The Administrator alone. The camera slowly zooms in on his masked face.

Fade.

Backstage, Alex Shelley stands in the Gorilla position, strapping the Intercontinental Championship around his waist. Once the final snap is finished, he spins it around to where the faceplate rests against his stomach.

“They’ll book just about anyone nowadays, won’t they?”

Shelley cocks an eyebrow, not expecting anyone to speak to him so close to his music hitting. He turns to look, seeing a familiar face.

[ Rob Conway ] And they’ll even dig up an old belt to make you feel like somebody, I suppose.

[ Alex Shelley ] Ha. Says a man I thought died a long time ago.

[ Rob Conway ] You can’t kill us Pulse fellas. You know that.

Conway looks worse for wear following his match earlier in the night, but has changed out of his gear and into a t-shirt and jeans, along with some sunglasses, even though they're inside and it's night. Some things never change. Shelley and Conway shake hands and pull one another in for a brief hug.

[ Rob Conway ] Besides, the Supreme Leader himself requested that I be booked on this show. Huge fan of 2006-era SGW. You can’t go wrong with the most powerful leader in the world wanting to see you wrestle.

Shelley bites his tongue knowing every word he says is monitored like a hawk. Deciding against risking his life moments before his match, he changes the subject.

[ Alex Shelley ] The Pulse was many moons ago. I had almost forgotten about that.

[ Rob Conway ] Best run of my life, brother. Leading that group was my honor.

[ Alex Shelley ] ...leading?

Shelley is perplexed.

[ Alex Shelley ] You think you were the leader? While I was the World Champion?

[ Rob Conway ] Russo told me himself!

[ Alex Shelley ] I think Vince Russo also helped create the Big Bad Booty Posse, so c’mon, man.

Conway is adamant in his stance and refuses to yield.

[ Rob Conway ] That man was a genius!

[ Alex Shelley ] Yeah, but you weren’t the leader. Not even revisionist history can install you as the leader.

[ Rob Conway ] You’ve not changed one bit, Al.

Conway playfully slaps Shelley on the back with some real force, knocking him forward.

[ Alex Shelley ] Wow, yeah, okay, a little stiff there.

Giving him a pass, Shelley’s music hits and you can see the relief in his eyes to be able to end the conversation.

[ Alex Shelley ] Well hey man, it was cool seeing you again. Glad you’re well. Sucks that your match went the way it went. Jimmy Havoc can be a real dick.

[ Rob Conway ] Yeah, screw that guy.

[ Alex Shelley ] Anyway, I'm gonna go defend this title.

[ Rob Conway ] Go knock ‘em dead out there.

They shake hands once again.

[ Alex Shelley ] Take care of yourself, alright?

Conway nods and Shelley gives him a final glance before making his way through the curtain for his match. Conway stands behind, hands on his hips, with a proud look on his face. We go to the ring.

REFEREE: MIKE CHIODA | STIPULATION: THREE WAY DANCE

The match starts with only Adam Cole and Alex Shelley in the ring. Mike Chioda looks confused, asking "where's Austin" over and over, but no one has an answer for him. Alex Shelley is frustrated and tosses the Intercontinental Championship at Chioda, yelling at him to "just ring the bell and start the damn match!" Cole nods, agreeing. Britt Baker and Vince Russo stand on either side of the ring, annoyed looks on their faces.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Where's Austin, guys? It's not like him to just no-show an important match like this one!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Who knows, Tony? The man has been goin' around all night questionin' folks about where Jeff Jarrett is, blaming the -- ahem, good people of North Korea for the disappearance. I think it might very well be time to just start the bloody match and worry about Austin's whereabouts later!

Chioda looks down at the IC title in his hands and shakes his head before handing it off to a ringside attendant. Just as he prepares to call for the bell... THE GLASS SHATTERS! Austin drives out onto the ramp on his ATV! He revs the engine, cracks open a couple beers, and pours them all over his face! Shelley and Cole look furious that they've been kept waiting for this! Austin drives the ATV down the ramp and stops it at the apron! Remaining seated, he raises two middle fingers at his opponents before turning and opening up the cooler on the back of the ATV, producing two more beers!

[ Scott Steiner ] HELL YEAH! THIS IS THAT OLD SCHOOL SHIT!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It never gets old!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Yep, it never... ever... EVER gets old.

Austin stands on the ATV and torpedoes one of the beer cans through the ropes, hitting Alex Shelley right in the balls! Shelley goes down! Austin immediately leaps from the ATV to the apron and climbs through the ropes where Cole is waiting with some clubbing blows to the back! Austin and Cole immediately begin throwing bombs at each other, not even bothering to protect themselves as they lay in punch after punch!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The rivalry between Stone Cold and the last remaining survivor of The Origin is still fresh in the mind of both these men! It was Steve Austin who cost Adam Cole his SGW World Championship to The Sandman back at SGW Forever!

[ Scott Steiner ] UNFORGIVABLE!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It was truly one of the greatest and saddest nights in the history of this sport!

Austin backs Cole into the corner and begins stomping away at him! HE STOMPS A MUDHOLE AND WALKS IT DRY! Austin turns and removes his vest... only to walk right into a kick to the stomach from Alex Shelley... SHELL SHOCK OUT OF NOWHERE! Shelley immediately covers Austin and hooks both legs! ONE! TWO! THR-- ADAM COLE BREAKS THE PIN! Cole immediately pulls Shelley off of Austin and lifts him up... BRAINBUSTER ONTO HIS KNEE! Shelley lands in a seated position and Cole hits the ropes... BOOM! Cole covers Shelley! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! VINCE RUSSO PULLS MIKE CHIODA OUT OF THE RING! Chioda freaks out, shoving Vince Russo and then sliding back under the bottom rope! Cole covers Shelley again! ONE! TWO! SHELLEY KICKS OUT! Cole shakes his head and pulls Shelley back to his feet. He whips Shelley into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Shelley ducks it and hits the ropes... ONLY TO TURN RIGHT AROUND INTO A THESZ PRESS FROM AUSTIN! PUNCHES! MORE PUNCHES!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ol' Stone Cold hasn't forgotten what Alex Shelley's THE PULSE did to SGW back in 2006! That team with Rob Conway was a real thorn in Austin's side!

[ Scott Steiner ] If I was there, there wouldna' been no fuckin' Pulse! I woulda' shut that shit down quick!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You were there, Scotty. You were doing clean jobs for Ken Kennedy and writing lengthy diatribes on the SGW message board about how it was unfair that Taz and Val Venis got announced for the hall of fame one week before you did.

[ Scott Steiner ] The hell you say. I don't remember none o' that.

Shelley grabs Austin by the back of the head and pulls him off Cole! He whips Austin around and throws a punch! Austin ducks it and catches Shelley on the turnaround-- KICK WHAM STUNNER! Shelley leaps five feet in the air and flops like a fish when he lands! Austin doesn't have a chance to go for a cover before Adam Cole is on him, punching away! Cole boots Austin in the knee, sending him down into a kneeling position! Cole flips the double bird right in Austin's face and turns to hit the ropes... but Austin is waiting for him as he turns around-- KICK WHAM STUNNER ON ADAM COLE! He covers Cole and hooks a leg! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! BRITT BAKER CLIMBS ONTO THE APRON AND THROWS A BEER CAN AT AUSTIN HITTING HIM IN THE HEAD!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh no! Britt, what are you doing!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Britt, darling, you should really consider where you're standing!

Austin gets up and touches his head, looking annoyed. He walks over to Britt and gets right in her face! Britt won't back down, choosing to trash talk the former three time SGW World Champion! Austin suddenly grabs her by the hair and drags her into the ring! She fights back, slapping and punching away at him but he's relentless! He shoves her back and goes for it... KICK WHAM-- RUNNING KNEE STRIKE FROM ALEX SHELLEY! Austin goes down hard! Baker rolls out of the ring, disheveled! Shelley snatches Austin off the mat and nails him with a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK BACKBREAKER! Austin writhes on the mat in pain and Shelley moves in for the kill... LOCKING IN THE BORDER CITY STRETCH! AUSTIN YELLS IN PAIN BUT HE'S TOO FAR AWAY FROM THE ROPES! Just when it looks like Austin's body may give out on him, Adam Cole dives in and breaks the hold! Austin rolls to the apron!

[ Scott Steiner ] What the hell, people actin' like Austin was gonna tap or somethin'!? Austin ain't gonna tap for nothin'! Alex Shelley with his little buggy whip arms coulda' held that move on for years and Austin would rather die than tap!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I agree that Austin would not have tapped unless it was an absolute last resort. This match might be one of the most important he's ever competed in... three former world champions competing for the oldest championship in the company. This match is the thing legends are made of!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Whoever wins this match... WILL LIVE FOREVER!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Metaphorically speaking.

[ Tony Schiavone ] AND LITERALLY!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] No.

Cole snatches Shelley off the mat and immediately nails him with a swinging neckbreaker. Cole uses both hands to brush the hair back out of his face and stares down at Shelley with disdain. Cole points at the turnbuckles and then stands on the middle rope. Shelley slowly returns to his feet and Cole jumps... PANAMA SUNRISE ON SHELLEY! Cole covers! ONE! TWO! THR-- VINCE RUSSO BLATANTLY BREAKS THE PIN! Cole looks furious as he stands up and gets right in Russo's face... until BRITT BAKER TACKLES RUSSO TO THE MAT!

[ Tony Schiavone ] IT'S A CAT FIGHT!

[ Scott Steiner ] What the hell is Russo doin' just flailin' around like that? You gotta punch'er in the ovaries, you fuckin' clown! Hit her where it hurts!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] For the record, Solid Gold Wrestling management does not condone the act of punching a woman in the ovaries!

Russo and Baker roll around on the mat until they fight back to their feet! Alex Shelley gets enough of his wits back to pull Britt away from Russo by two handfuls of hair, but as soon as she's clear, Austin comes out of nowhere-- KICK WHAM STUNNER ON VINCE RUSSO! Russo sells back to his feet and tumbles through the ropes to the floor! Shelley looks pissed when he sees Russo go down but he's whipped around by Cole, causing Shelley to involuntarily shove her into Austin-- KICK WHAM STUNNER ON BRITT BAKER! Cole rages out and snatches up Shelley... COLE-ATERAL! Cole springs right back to his feet and gets in Austin's face! The fans begin to buzz with anticipation as they go forehead to forehead and talk trash to one another! Austin nails Cole with a right hand! Cole nails Austin right back! They trade punches like men possessed until Austin takes over with a knee lift and tosses Cole through the ropes to the floor! Austin follows him out!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It's going to the floor!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It's inevitable, as it is with all Steve Austin matches!

[ Scott Steiner ] This is where shit gets real!

Austin grabs Cole by the hair and throws him into the steel steps, then picks him up and whips him into the rail! Austin motions for Cole to bring it on and Cole fires up and charges at him... walking right into a BACKDROP ON THE FLOOR! Austin goes to pick Cole up by this hair again but Cole snatches the front of Austin's tights and pulls him down head first into the announce table! Cole reaches under the ring and finds a table! He sets it up at ringside, then turns to the downed Austin. "It's time, Austin," he shouts, "time for you to SUCK! MY! DIC--," NO! Austin cuts him off with a right hand before he can finish! Austin and Cole trade punches again until Austin takes over with a flurry of right hands and he throws Cole onto the table! Austin covers Cole up and begins peppering him with rapid punches! Austin takes a step back and-- CRACKKKKKK! ALEX SHELLEY FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE AND PUTS COLE THROUGH THE TABLE WITH A FLYING DOUBLE STOMP!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! WHY!?

[ Tony Schiavone ] ADAM COLE BAY-BAY IS BROKEN IN HALF!

Shelley rolls through on the landing and charges at Austin! Austin and Shelley trade blows until Shelley takes over with an eyerake! Shelley grabs some of the cables surrounding the announce table and begins violently choking Austin from behind with them! Austin reaches back and grabs Shelley around the neck... then falls on his ass, forcing Shelley to take a stiff jaw breaker! Austin rolls back to his feet and uses the cords to choke Shelley now! Austin drags Shelley about six feet and then lets go before pulling him up with two handfuls of tights. He throws Shelley back into the ring and goes to follow him in but... VINCE RUSSO IS HOLDING HIS ANKLE! Russo is WRECKED! He has no idea where he is! Austin gets both feet back on the ground and looks at Russo, pinning him in place with his eyes... BIG RIGHT HAND TO RUSSO! Russo staggers backward and Austin dumps him over the rail and into the front row! Austin turns... SUICIDE DIVE FROM SHELLEY! Both men crash into the rail! ALL THREE MEN ARE DOWN!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Somebody stop the damn match!

[ Tony Schiavone ] They know what's at stake! All of this chaos... that's how bad they want this!

[ Scott Steiner ] This is a fuckin' war!

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

Everyone in the arena gasps! The lights stay out for what feels like a full minute. It's actually uncomfortable how long the lights stay out... finally, they come back on and--

[ Tony Schiavone ] What the heck!? WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!

CHRIS JERICHO IS IN THE RING! Chris Jericho stands in the center of the ring with his arms outstretched and his head tilted back. In one hand, we see that he has a microphone! He whips around and sneers at the fans before raising the microphone.

[ Chris Jericho ] NORTH KOREAAAAAAAA!

He looks around, seething.

[ Chris Jericho ] WELCOME TO--

He pumps his fist with each word.

[ Chris Jericho ] GAME... OF... JERICHOOOOOOOOOOO!

He throws the microphone down and rolls out of the ring where JAKE HAGER is waiting! Jericho throws Adam Cole under the bottom rope and into the ring. Hager tosses Alex Shelley back into the ring, then they both work together to throw Austin back into the ring. Jericho pats Hager on the chest and nods before deliberately climbing the steps and strutting across the apron. He climbs through the ropes and walks to the center of the ring with each competitor slowly coming to in a different corner. Jericho motions for them to get up, a sinister smile on his face.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What does he want, guys? He's ruining the match!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I'm pretty sure that's the point... the question is, what is his endgame tonight? He has a history with all three of these men. Adam Cole is his former partner in The Origin and that partnership did not end on good terms! Steve Austin was his main rival as part of The Origin... and Alex Shelley is the man who took his Intercontinental Championship!

Jericho nods, shouting "COME ON, BABY!" as he waits for the first man to get to their feet! Austin and Cole return to their feet at almost the same time. Jericho looks from one to the other, sizing them up with a big grin on his face. Shelley uses the ropes to pull himself up seconds later. Jericho amps himself up and then springs forward... JUDAS EFFECT--

--ON ADAM COLE!

Cole goes down in a heap and Jericho mounts him, punching away at him!

[ Tony Schiavone ] He's going after Adam Cole!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It appears that the old wounds have not healed among the former Origin stable mates!

Jericho stands and begins stomping away at Cole! He boots Cole under the bottom rope and then follows him out. Cole tries to fight back but he's quickly overwhelmed by Jericho and Hager! They beat on him all the way to the back, effectively removing him from the match! Britt Baker, barely able to stand, staggers up the ramp before falling to all fours on the stage and crawling through the curtain.

[ Scott Steiner ] That dude ain't comin' back! Ain't no way he fights off Chris Jericho and Big Jake Hager!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Who knew Chris Jericho would return and have such an effect on this important match in SGW history! He's a true spoiler of good times!

Austin and Shelley, both worse for wear, glare at each other from their corners and then nod before pushing off and meeting in the center of the ring! Shelley immediately goes for a big right hand but Austin blocks it and delivers one of his own! They trade big right hands in the center of the ring until Shelley spins and superkicks Austin in the mid-section! Shelley hits the ropes and comes back hard, nailing Austin in his surgically repaired knees with a basement dropkick! Austin goes down to his knees and Shelley takes a deep breath before... giving Austin the double bird and shouting "FUCK YOU, MOTHER FUCKER!" He turns and hits the ropes... but Austin rises and turns him inside out with a HUGE LARIAT! Shelley lands in a seated position, clearly dazed! Austin snatches him off the mat with two handfuls of hair and then gives Shelley the double bird! KICK! WHAM! NO! AUSTIN GOES FOR THE STUNNER BUT SHELLEY SHOVES HIM OFF! Austin hits the ropes and Shelley meets him on the turnaround with a clothesline-- NO! AUSTIN DUCKS IT! Shelley turns-- KICK! WHAM! STUNNER! Austin covers! ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNER & NEW CHAMPION
STEVE AUSTIN via PINFALL in 14:39

The glass shatters and Austin rolls off of Shelley, covering his face with both hands as Mike Chioda approaches and lays the SGW Intercontinental Championship across his chest. Austin, exhausted, reaches down and grabs the title with both hands, holding it tightly.

[ Tony Schiavone ] "Stone Cold" Steve Austin has DONE it!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It's the comeback story of the last three years, gentlemen! Old Stone Cold returned only a few short years ago and, truth be told, he did not see much success. He let his rivalry with Arn Anderson's Origin take his focus away from championship gold and even considered hanging up the boots once 'n for all, turning to managing Bobby Roode and James Storm for a time... but here, in North Korea, among the most unlikeliest of circumstances, Steve Austin has risen above his run in 2020, he's risen from the ashes of the short-lived Seven Star Pro, and he has become the new SGW Intercontinental Champion.

[ Scott Steiner ] Here's to you, Steve. You old son of a bitch!

Austin stands and goes corner to corner with the title, holding it over his head. Once he's done, he calls for a beer and immediately downs it, though most of it ends up on his face and chest. In the center of the ring, Alex Shelley rests on his knees, devastated by the loss. Rob Conway jogs down from the back and rolls into the ring with a bottle of water. He kneels next to Shelley and puts his arm around him. Vince Russo crawls into the ring, slowly but surely, barely able to function after the beating he's received during this match.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The Origin may have exploded tonight, but it appears as though the bond between former members of The Pulse remains strong. Good on Rob Conway for coming out to support his friend.

Austin stops celebrating to stare down Shelley and Conway, expecting shenanigans. Shelley shrugs off Conway and stands up, then tosses the water bottle down. Shelley stares Austin down from several feet away... and then calls for a beer of his own! Shelley receives and it and he approaches Austin. They toast and Austin downs the entire beer, spilling it everywhere, while Shelley takes a sip and tosses the can before giving Austin a nod of respect.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Sportsmanship, you love to see it!

[ Scott Steiner ] It was a helluva' god damn fight! Even in defeat, Alex Shelley has to respect that!

Austin steps through the ropes and walks up the ramp with a beer in one hand and the Intercontinental Championship in the other. He raises it over his head and disappears behind the curtain. In the ring, Rob Conway helps Vince Russo to his feet as Alex Shelley takes a seat in the middle of the ring. He looks out at the fans and then begins removing his kickpads and wrestling shoes.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wait, what's going on!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I believe we could be witnessing history here, boys. Alex Shelley is preparing to leave his boots in the ring! I... I think he might be done! Alex Shelley is going out on the highest of notes, saying goodbye right here tonight at Game of Squids!

Shelley stands up, leaving his shoes sitting in the center of the ring. Standing there in his socks, he looks down at them with his hands on his hips. He nods, satisfied with how everything has gone down in his career--

[ Nigel McGuinness ] ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh come on! Not like this!

ROB CONWAY TOSSES RUSSO DOWN AND NAILS SHELLEY FROM BEHIND! Shelley goes down and has no time to recover before Conway snatches him up... EGO TRIP! SHELLEY IS DOWN AND OUT! Vince Russo uses the ropes to pull himself up to his knees. He looks furious about what Conway has done! Conway stalks Russo and then boots him back into the corner! Rob Conway stomps away at Vince Russo, then plants his boot right underneath his chin, violently choking him!

[ Scott Steiner ] I knew you couldn't trust that son of a bitch!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The Conman has conned us all tonight!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] He's a bloody piece o' trash! He was so worked up over not being invited to the last iteration of Solid Gold Wrestling that he's just been lying in wait for this moment to make his mark! Well, ya' made ya' mark, Conway! I hope you're bloody happy!

Conway turns and sees Shelley fighting back up to all fours. Russo is unconscious in the corner. Conway charges and boots Shelley right in the side of the head, sending him flailing limply back over the bottom rope! Shelley remains there, out of it!

[ Tony Schiavone ] He's had enough! For God's sake!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Rob Conway, of all bloody people t' make this kind of impact.

[ Scott Steiner ] I never liked him! I never liked his stupid ass face!

Conway steps out of the ring and saunters to the back. He stops on the stage and turns to take one last look at the ring. He chuckles as he raises two fingers and presses them to his neck, checking his "pulse," then turns and disappears through the curtain.

[ Tony Schiavone ] I can't believe this. What does this mean for Alex Shelley's career?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The boots were off. It's clear what his intention was... but now? Who knows. I can't imagine he walks away and lets this lie... that's not the Alex Shelley the SGW fans have grown accustomed to.

[ Scott Steiner ] Hell no. He'll be back. Shit like this can't go unpunished.

We fade out on a shot of Mike Chioda checking on Shelley.

Starlight Kid.

She's lying on the floor backstage.

She covers her face with both hands, writhing about in defeat. Her dressing room appears trashed. Clearly, her defeat earlier in the night has taken a toll on her. She rolls over and ends up in a kneeling position. She looks up at the ceiling, a look of disdain on her face.

[ Starlight Kid ] < This must be some kind of cruel joke! >

She looks down at her open palms.

[ Starlight Kid ] < I arrived in North Korea as a Goddess... won two new world championships in the same night, and yet I will leave with nothing. It isn't fair! >

She places her hand on the wall and struggles back to her feet. The camera pans over to reveal Jushin Liger leaning against the wall, listening to her complain.

[ Jushin Thunder Liger ] < Kitto, you exhibited great power tonight. For a moment, you held three championships at the same time. That is an achievement that even I never accomplished during my time in Solid Gold Wrestling. >

She waves him off, her voice becoming louder and more growly.

[ Starlight Kid ] < Shut up! No one cares about your lame TV title reign! I actually became a world champion... twice within minutes! Do you know what that is like? No! How could you possibly hope to console me, who has lost more tonight than you have earned in your entire life!? >

He doesn't reply verbally... he simply points behind her. Confused, Starlight Kid turns around and comes face to face with Nia Jax. Jax is worse for wear following the Supermarket Brawl. She's covered in bandages following her spill into the barbwire earlier tonight. Starlight Kid looks up at Jax and sneers.

[ Starlight Kid ] < What do you want, cow!? Can't you see that I'm busy!? >

Nia Jax grabs Starlight Kid by her top with both hands and effortlessly lifts her off the ground. Starlight Kid looks concerned. Jax looks her dead in the face.

[ Nia Jax ] I'm done listening to you talk.

She throws Starlight Kid into Jushin Liger! They both go down in a heap! Liger pushes Kid off of him and rolls back to his feet. Kid gets up to her knees and puts her hands out, begging off the much larger Irresistible Force.

[ Nia Jax ] Tonight, my former tag team partner and best friend, Hyper Misao, took away my chance at becoming the SGW Intercontinental Champion for women during the Game of Squids Supermarket Brawl... I need that belt. I want it real bad, but I know Christian will make me earn my rematch. Seems to me that beating a sawed off little runt that won two world titles in one night might just be the shortcut I need to get it.

Her eyes narrow.

[ Nia Jax ] It doesn't hurt that it was you and your partner, Ayy Zee Em, that took away my Twinstar titles... I should beat you down just for that. So, what do you say, huh? Let's fight!

[ Starlight Kid ] < Are you crazy? I'm not fighting you! What have you done to deserve a match with me!? You just got beat up in a supermarket by Hyper Misao! Misao is a loser! That makes you an even bigger loser! >

Jax holds up her fist and blows across her knuckles.

[ Nia Jax ] Do you know what this is? This is my fist... my fist that breaks faces!

Starlight Kid stands up and her eyes go wide.

[ Starlight Kid ] < Okay, okay! Fine! We can have a match... besides, it's not like another show is guaranteed anyway! The match might not even happen! But if it does, I'm not just letting you beat me for a shot at the title! If I win... I want a shot at the Women's Intercontinental Championship, too! >

Jax nods and unclenches her fist. She offers it to Starlight Kid.

[ Nia Jax ] Deal.

Starlight reluctantly accepts the gesture and shakes Nia Jax's hand. Without another word, Starlight Kid and Jushin Liger quickly exit the room, leaving Jax by herself. Jax nods, satisfied, and reaches behind her, removing an apple from her gear. She looks it over and takes a bite of it. There's a squelch and an awkward crunch as she bites into the Styrofoam apple she stole from the supermarket. She sneers as she chews the foam uncomfortably.

[ Nia Jax ] This isn't ripe at all.

Looking the apple over again, she shrugs and takes another bite.

Fade.

The SGW Twinstar World Championship belt.

The center plate glimmers beneath the fluorescent light.

WALTER rests in a chair in the corner. He's still in his gear, bandaged up from the damage taken during the Twinstar title match. The look on his face is not a happy one. Several feet away, Tyler Breeze is holding an ice pack to his crotch, still feeling the effects of the field goal kick from Maki Itoh. Sitting next to the table where the Twinstar title belt rests, we see Jinny. Jinny is also bandaged up, appearing far worse for wear. She reaches over and touches the championship belt, then hisses.

[ Jinny ] Two shows in a row now, I've been forced t' bloody kill myself for one o' these... I don't even want it. I'm above it... I should be challenging for the world championship and everyone's too afraid to admit it--

Before she can get any further in her rant, Dakota Kai walks into the shot with her own championship belt over her shoulder. Jinny stands up, using the table to brace herself. She glares at Dakota, fuming.

[ Jinny ] Kiwi twat.

Jinny picks up her title and looks down at it.

[ Jinny ] Look at what you've gone and done. I was hoping t' be rid of this thing after tonight so that I could set my sights on something a bit bigger. What am I supposed t' do now?

Dakota smirks and shakes her head.

[ Dakota Kai ] I did what needed t' be done... you don't understand 'cause you've never faced the adversity in your SGW career that I have--

Dakota Kai stops mid-sentence when she sees Sasha Banks walk into the shot. Still in her gear, Sasha walks right up to Dakota and gets in her face. Dakota squares up, not backing down at all.

[ Sasha Banks ] You're even dumber than I thought you were, Dakota. You really passed up an opportunity to be a champion with me... SASHA BANKS-- all because you're still sore over a little injury that almost ended your pointless little career?

Sasha smiles.

[ Sasha Banks ] I would say "get over it," but I honestly don't give a shit.

[ Dakota Kai ] Right. That's why you're here now, yeah?

[ Sasha Banks ] Don't forget why you and that ratchet bee-yotch are the champions instead of you and me. You didn't walk out on me. I walked out on you... because I don't wanna be champions with you or her or that Maki Itoh idiot. There's only one tag team partner for me--

BAM! DAKOTA KAI IS NAILED FROM BEHIND BY BAYLEY! Sasha and Bayley begin putting the boots to Dakota Kai! Sasha plants her knee in Dakota's back and yanks her head up by her hair, making her look her in the face.

[ Bayley ] DING DONG! HELLO!? I'M BACK, BITCHES!

[ Sasha Banks ] LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU NOBODY! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST THROW ME AWAY LIKE I'M TRASH!? YOU'RE TRASH! YOU WOULD'VE BEEN LUCKY TO HAVE ME AS YOUR PARTNER BUT YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH--

"HERRO, MATHA' FOCKERS!"

BAM! MAKI ITOH AND TAM NAKANO CRASH THE ONGOING ASSAULT OUT OF NOWHERE! Itoh has a giant bandage on her head from Dakota Kai's chair attack! Bayley ties up with Tam Nakano and they brawl off-camera! Sasha and Itoh trade forearm strikes until Dakota Kai scrambles back to her feet and nails Sasha from behind! With Sasha knocked out of the way, Itoh and Dakota face off! Itoh points at Dakota and rips off her bandage... then pounds herself on the forehead with her fist! But before they can make contact, Jinny nails Maki Itoh in the side of the head with her half of the Twinstar championships! Itoh goes down just as security rushes into the room and pulls everyone apart!

[ Christian Cage ] Well, this escalated quickly.

The camera pans over to reveal Edge and Christian watching the ladies be pulled apart by security. Edge just shakes his head. There's a crash from off-camera, separate from the ongoing brawl. Edge and Christian turn their attention toward the noise and see Nyla Rose shoving Nikki Cross into a trashcan while Alexa Bliss watches. Edge and Christian approach.

[ Edge ] So, uh... Alexa, Nyla... what's going on?

Once we get a better look at Alexa, we see she's got the SGW Women's World Championship around her waist, the CyberFights and LARIAT Championships on each shoulder, the WLCW championship in her hand, and the Goddess of SHOCK crown on her head. She looks up and gives them an innocent look.

[ Alexa Bliss ] Oh nothing, we're just making sure our trash is properly disposed of--

There's a knock from inside the trashcan and Nyla turns around, hammer fisting the metal lid down hard, denting it. Nyla glares at the trashcan, making sure it remains quiet. She turns her head to look at Edge and Christian.

[ Nyla Rose ] Litter is a serious offense in North Korea, in case you ain't heard--

She turns and looks down at the trashcan again.

[ Nyla Rose ] --and the trash needs to stay in the damn can if it don't want another beatdown!

Silence. Alexa looks past Edge and Christian, at the security guards finally getting everything under control behind them. She scowls.

[ Alexa Bliss ] Are those idiots really fighting like that over the frickin' Twinstar titles?

Edge and Christian look at each other, confused.

[ Edge ] Well, I mean... they're the top prize in women's tag team action.

Nyla Rose shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

[ Alexa Bliss ] There's like two teams. How is there a "top prize" when there's only two teams? Dakota Kai and Jinny aren't even real partners! You know who are real partners? Me and Nyla Rose!

Nyla nods, pounding her fist into her open palm.

[ Alexa Bliss ] And since there's no clear contender for me to defend my title against because all these idiots want to fight over the Twinstar belts... well, I just walked away with FIVE titles tonight... why don't you give me an opportunity to leave with two more!

Christian scratches his chin, thinking.

[ Christian Cage ] Well, I mean... Alexa, there's no promise another show is even gonna happen but here's what we'll do. Another show happens to pop up after this one, screw it. You got your shot.

Alexa smiles evilly and turns to leave. Nyla Rose follows her out. Edge and Christian watch them leave, appearing annoyed by the interaction. There's another knock from inside the trashcan.

[ Christian Cage ] Dude, what the hell?

[ Edge ] We should probably let her out of there.

[ Christian Cage ] No! What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about Alexa Bliss winning like five titles in one night and getting set up to win even more! Double J never let me or you do that! It's bullshit!

Edge looks down and thinks it over.

[ Edge ] You're not wrong. Damn.

Without another word, they turn and walk off-camera.

Fade.

Crunch.

Austin wads up another beer can and adds it to the pile on the floor. How he's managed to drink this much beer in the time since his match ended, nobody knows. He's still sweaty and beat to hell, standing in a corridor backstage in his gear. The SGW Intercontinental Championship rests in his lap. Austin places his hand on the center plate, taking it in. He hears two people speaking, not far away. Austin takes a few steps in the direction of the voices and sees The Administrator speaking with Kim Jong-un. Austin scowls, ready to fight... but he thinks better of it.

[ The Administrator ] Everything is going according to plan, Supreme Leader.

Kim Jong-un nods, a confident smile on his face.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < I have enjoyed the festivities thus far. While there has been no death, I have taken great pleasure in the violence I've witnessed tonight. >

[ The Administrator ] I am pleased to hear that. By the end of the night, we shall both have what we want... global dominance and the end of Solid Gold Wrestling, once and for all.

Austin shakes his head upon hearing that. The Administrator and Kim Jong-un turn and enter the control room. Austin hears a lock click in place. Seething with anger, Austin cracks open another beer.

[ Steve Austin ] The end of Solid Gold Wrestlin' my ass.

The beer aggressively foams over his hand.

[ Steve Austin ] I'll see you two sons o' bitches later.

He turns the beer up and pours it all over his face.

Fade.

There’s a nervous energy in the air as Kayla Braxton finishes announcing this, the main event of the evening, and explaining how the contest will only end once one man has climbed the ladder and retrieved the two championship belts above the ring.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is it, Tony. One championship to rule them all, the Unified SGW Triple Crown Championship. This is the preeminent honor in the world of professional wrestling, and absorbing the lineage and grandeur of another well-respected championship will only increase the value of this prize, this treasure above all others!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Incredibly said, Nigel. I’m just sad Scott will likely miss some of this matchup as he’s still not returned from the restroom! What an unfortunate time for nature to call, huh?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You can say that again, Tony.

The lights in the arena all fall, leaving only a single white spotlight upon the championship belts, hanging in the balance of the match to come.

Wrestling…has more than one…royal family.

The driving guitars of ‘Kingdom’ blast through the speakers as the North Korean fans explode, roaring along and filling to the brim with excitement as the arena lights begin swirling red, white, and blue. On the enormous screen, sharp pieces of metal fly around until they stop, seemingly tossed around aimlessly until the view shifts, revealing the Nightmare Family logo prominently rising and filling with color!

Adrenaline, in my soul, every thought out of control,
Do it all to get them off their feet…

Brandi Rhodes, clad in a gorgeous navy-blue dress with sequins and a matching necklace, and Dustin Rhodes, wearing a black and red Nightmare Family track suit, take their spots on the stage on either side of a trap door, which slides open! An elevator rises slowly, allowing a leather hood to pierce through the smoke covering the stage until it ceases, leaving the WLCW World Champion standing still amidst the smoke and lights.

My father said…when I was younger,
Hard times breed better men…

With the Korean fans blaring support around him, Cody throws back the leather hood and spreads his arms wide, showing off his ornate, patriotic ring jacket, long in the back behind the regal front pelts, the red and white strips forming an enormous American Flag train which follows behind him.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The American Nightmare Cody Rhodes requested this match type, the ladder match, Tony, because of the significance it has not only in his quest to become the World League Championship Wrestling champion, but in what he calls “a lifelong journey to achieve a family’s dream.”

[ Tony Schiavone ] Beyond any significance or meaning, the ladder match obviously allows for a great deal of punishment, a great deal of physical exertion, and of course, much higher chances for permanent injury, Nigel – NOT TO MENTION, the higher risk of walking out without the gold which you carried into the contest.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Too true, Tony. Cody Rhodes’ gameplan for this contest is simple, in my opinion – utilize the ladder! Use the match to your strengths, because Bryan Danielson’s fear of heights has been well documented in the journey to this moment! Beyond that, Cody’s heart has to be as strong as it’s ever been – he has to seize every single opportunity in front of him in order to achieve the Rhodes family dream of becoming the SGW Triple Crown Champion!

Rhodes leaps onto the top rope, pumping his fists and pointing around the arena before once, up to the championship belts above.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Cody told me earlier his tights tonight are not only a reference to his American Nightmare nickname, but to his efforts to represent the world with the winged globe on the back, there, but also his family’s history! The golden flames up the side from the bottom are for his brother Dustin, and there’s black and gold polka dots on the inside of the flame for his father, Dusty!

Cody rubs his wrists in the corner as the lights again fall to black and his song softens to nothing, leaving only the roaring fans left in the air until a Dragon’s roar pierces the sky, popping the fans in attendance again!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] My word!

Slowly, the swelling trumpets begin to play through the arena as spotlights swirl, a simple white along the upper level of the arena, a solitary spotlight matching the one above the championship belts now resting on the stage as the countdown begins – five, four, three, two, one! The drums and synth fire up as the stage illuminates into a fiery wasteland, a dragon flying through the scene on the screen and stomping forward, across the stage as well!

[ Tony Schiavone ] One blemish rests on the reign of the ‘Real SGW Champion’ Bryan Danielson, and to find it we must go back two years to August 2020, Supremacy, Nigel – Cody Rhodes took a countout victory over the American Dragon, and tonight, the Dragon is on the warpath!

We’re leaving together…but still it’s farewell.
And maybe we’ll come back to Earth, who can tell?

Still storming to the ring, Bryan Danielson appears completely prepared for the contest to come, relaxed even, as he stomps up the ring steps and begins ascending the corner.

I guess there is no one to blame, we’re leaving ground!
Will things ever be the same again?

Danielson stands, one foot on the top rope and looks to the championships above the ring as the song crescendos majestically, the fans in North Korea singing along despite the language barrier between them:

IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

Flames shoot from the upper level of the arena and the stage in combination with the song as Danielson steps from the top rope into the ring, his eyes still transfixed upon the championships above him before slowly sinking and settling on Cody Rhodes before him.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Potentially ominous lyrics for these two men tonight, Tony: There is no one to blame, we are leaving ground, will things EVER be the same again?!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wow, excellent point, Nigel! Aubrey Edwards, our senior official, going over the rules to the contest with both men here…and I believe we’re ready to begin.

Aubrey motions for the bell as we peer over Cody’s shoulder, looking ahead at the SGW Triple Crown Champion Bryan Danielson, whose face is marred with violent indifference as the chime rings thrice through the Rungrado Stadium.

REFEREE: AUBREY EDWARDS | STIPULATION: LADDER MATCH

Neither champion flinches as the bell sounds and the fans swell energetically around them. Cody finally looks to ringside at Brandi and Dustin and speaks, unintentionally loud enough for the ring cameras and mics to capture.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Nothing funny. Just me and him. Don’t let Stephen, Lee, anyone interfere. You guys, too. Just me and Bryan.

Dustin looks at the Dragon, still transfixed upon Cody, then back to his brother and nods. Brandi sighs and nods, as well. Turning back towards his opponent, Cody locks eyes with Danielson, then is suddenly shotgun dropkicked into the turnbuckles!

[ Tony Schiavone ] My God, we’re off! Cody Rhodes just insisted there was no interference from his family, he wanted it JUST himself and Danielson and the American Dragon is happy to oblige his request, Nigel!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Absolutely, Tony. Bryan Danielson is the personification of ruthless in the ring, he is a sadistic Rembrandt upon this canvas and paints with a palette full of agony in colors broader and deeper than the rainbow itself!

Danielson continues the assault, stomping Cody in the corner over and over, really wearing down the WLCW Champion before stepping back and turning, looking into the aisle for the ladder, standing ominously, before turning back to his opponent. And Cody’s up, firing shot after shot, right hand after right hand, connecting right to the temple! Danielson’s stunned as Cody takes him by the wrist and launches him across the ring, into the ropes and back – BIG CLOTHESLINE! Danielson’s back up! Hip toss! Danielson up again! Big, deep, Steamboat-styled arm drag! The Dragon’s up yet again! Cody rushes in and clotheslines Danielson over the top rope to the floor! Danielson rolls across the protective mat below and Cody’s still going, a house of fire, charging off the far side ropes and leaping between the middle and top ring ropes – but Danielson throws the ladder into Cody’s path!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY!

Cody collides with the ladder, his head ricocheting off the side and instantly falling to the protective mat, stunned! Danielson smirks down at Cody before collapsing the ladder and sliding it into the ring! Looking at the side of the ring, Danielson spots another ladder and grabs it, propping it up on the side of the ring before sliding it in, as well.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] A very sudden surge has put Danielson further along the path to the victory, or further up the ladder, so to say, Tony.

[ Tony Schiavone ] You’re right, Nigel, but Danielson looks a bit hesitant to actually climb and take the championships now!

Sure enough, Danielson has the ladder erected in center ring and is staring up at the championships before slowly gripping the rung chest-high and stepping onto the bottom rung. The crowd begins to stir, willing the hesitant Danielson up the ladder as Cody begins moving on the floor below

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Bryan detailed earlier this month about a fear of heights, Tony, and that plays into the gameplan I would be emphasizing if I were the Dragon – you must incapacitate Cody Rhodes as effortlessly and efficiently as possible before starting the climb, because of all the things in the world Danielson will have to do in this match, I imagine conquering a fear of heights may prove to be as difficult as keeping the Grandson of a Plumber down!

Danielson finally elevates, stepping onto the second rung, both hands glued to the ladder above him and his eyes no less locked on the championship belts swaying overhead. Danielson places his foot on the third rung and lifts up, the fans seemingly cheering him along – UNTIL CODY RHODES DROPKICKS HIM IN THE BACK!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Cody isn’t done yet, Nigel!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Far from it, by the looks of it!

Danielson drops off the ladder and throws a punch, but Cody ducks it, leathering the Dragon with a stiff chop to the pectoral! Danielson throws one of his own, but Cody grabs his hand and darts up and off the ladder, BIG ARMDRAG! The fans roar as Cody tumbles to his feet, Danielson doing the same and rushing back at Cody, who bends over at the waist! Danielson quickly reacts and rolls off Cody’s back, landing behind him – but Cody was ready for it! Cody Rhodes hooks both of Danielson’s arms – he’s looking for Din’s Fire!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Oh boy, this could end horribly for the Dragon!

With the vertebreaker hooked, Danielson struggles and lifts Cody, keeping the arms linked, but upon landing behind Danielson, Cody quickly releases his right arm and twists under Danielson – INVERTED HEADLOCK! CROSS RHODES!

[ Tony Schiavone ] CROSS RHODES! Cody got every little bit of that one and Danielson is down!

Thinking quickly, Cody rises from the mat and adjusts the ladder just so, making sure it’s underneath the championship belts before leaping up the first two steps of the ladder, really electrifying the crowd in North Korea! Cody takes another step upwards, now on the third rung of the ladder, and keeps pushing, to the fourth and fifth rungs of the ladder! He’s three-fourths of the way there now!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Don’t look now, Cody – Bryan Danielson is nearly back to his feet!

Somehow, Bryan Danielson has the ring awareness to have pulled himself up by the middle rope, still bending but doing all he can to stop the ascent of the World League Championship Wrestling Champion Cody Rhodes! Cody notices Danielson storming and quickly heads to the sixth step, reaching up and touching his WLCW Championship Belt before Bryan Danielson throws his body recklessly at the ladder, forcing it to topple aggressively and knocking Cody from the near top, Stun-Gunning himself on the top rope and rolling backwards on impact, out of it!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Cody Rhodes practically guillotined himself there, Tony! He’s struggling to breathe!

Sure enough, Cody is choking with each breath, suffering along the side of the ring and leaving Bryan Danielson alone on his feet – but barely so – with the championships dangling overhead.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tony, what in the hell is this?!

Before Schiavone can react, a blur of red and black comes bolting through the entranceway and down the massive aisle as the fans explode with energy, unsure of what in the hell is going on!

[ Tony Schiavone ] HEY! That’s television’s Stephen Amell! He’s on television!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Cody said he didn’t want interference on his behalf, but I don’t guess Stephen Amell gave a damn!

Sure enough, Stephen Amell has darted down the aisle and slides into the ring, screaming all the way! Amell throws a clothesline sloppily, but Danielson ducks it seamlessly, hooking Amell’s right arm in a Nelson before quickly picking his left – full-nelson! – and launches the Arrow star overhead with a disgusting Dragon Suplex! Amell takes the impact right on the top of the cranium and instantly goes limp everywhere, knocked absolutely unconscious! Danielson snarls and forces Amell to the floor with his boot before turning his attention back to Cody, who is on his knees and attempting to push up onto his feet.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That’ll cancel your Starz series pretty quickly, I’d say!

Danielson approaches Cody and throws a violent shoot kick at his pectorals, impacting audibly with a hard smack which ricochets through the arena. Cody grimaces, gritting through the pain and continuing to rise. Danielson quickly fires off another stiff kick, popping Rhodes’ chest again, but the Nightmare stares the Dragon down and bends at the waist, trying to force himself up! Undeterred, Danielson fires a third kick, scraping Cody’s face and nose, connecting with his stomach – BUT CODY SHOOTS STRAIGHT UP, FURY IN HIS EYES!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Cody Rhodes is on fire, Nigel!

Danielson’s eyes go wide, eager to see the fight in his competition, but he’s quickly knocked into a look of pain as Cody ducks his thrown clothesline and connects with a stiff right jab! And another jab – plus a third jab!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The Spirit of the Dream is flowing through Cody Rhodes, Tony!

Cody rotates his hands, pulling energy from every direction and – WHAM! – drives a Bionic Elbow down into Danielson’s cranium! The Dragon’s still standing, though, and while dazed, still presents a middle finger to the American Nightmare’s face, popping the fans. Cody smiles and reaches out, patting Danielson on the face sarcastically before forcing Bryan’s head down and between his legs, double-underhooking his arms and lifting him up – SHARP DROP! TIGER DRIVER ’98! Danielson crumbles to his back, but Cody pulls him up with one handful of hair and the other marred in his opponent’s beard! Back on his feet, Cody applies another inverted headlock and twists –

[ Tony Schiavone ] CROSS RHODES! A SECOND SICKENING CROSS RHODES!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] MY GOD, DID YOU SEE THE WAY DANIELSON LANDED?! DISGUSTING!

Cody stands, quickly stabilizing the ladder and planting a foot confidently on the second rung, heaving his body up! The fans in the Rungrado Stadium are on fire for Cody, screaming as he forces himself up to the third rung of the ladder, closer now to the championships and his dream of being the SGW Triple Crown Champion!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] GREAT ODIN’S RAVEN, BRYAN DANIELSON IS STANDING!

Not only standing, the American Dragon has rushed up, still boggled from the hell sequence of martinetes, but now has a waistlock applied on Cody Rhodes, who is still doing his best to climb the ladder! With the fans roaring around them, Cody slowly places his right foot on the fourth rung and lifts – BOTH HIS OWN AND DANIELSON’S WEIGHT UP THE LADDER! Cody screams, exerting the energy necessary to force this amount of mass up the ladder, but is eventually dragged down to the second step by the Dragon! Danielson, now with a sounder center of gravity, does all he can in the moment and hurls Cody overhead with a German Suplex – but Rhodes still has the ladder in his hands!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH DEAR GOD!

Rhodes takes the impact of the suplex on the back of his head, instantly rolling backwards, but at the same time, the ladder bounces off the ropes and flies recklessly back towards center ring, where it collides nauseatingly with Cody’s spine! The American Nightmare falls to his face in an unrefined heap, the ladder left with no option but to collapse on top of his battered body, as well!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] God almighty, Cody Rhodes might have just been severely injured here! Thank the Lord his foot is twitching, and his fingers are clenching, but just IMAGINE the world of pain he’s in, Tony!

[ Tony Schiavone ] I would really prefer not to, Nigel, that was absolutely disgusting!

Recovered enough to look across the ring at his devastated opponent, Bryan Danielson cracks the tiniest semblance of a smile before swallowing, grabbing his own neck and looking up, all the way up to the SGW Triple Crown Championship belt and the World League Championship Wrestling belt beside it. The American Dragon pushes himself off the mat and bellows, working through the pain, before lifting the ladder from off Cody JUST ENOUGH to move it (but not concerned for it scraping or knocking across Rhodes’ body while doing so) to center ring.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This could really be it, Tony – Bryan Danielson’s just wrecked Cody’s body and now all that’s left is to conquer his own fear and climb!

Bryan Danielson steps up once and twice, on the second rung of the ladder and exhales deeply, looking up again before clenching his teeth and stepping up another level.

[ Tony Schiavone ] It’s hard not to feel incredibly nervous for Danielson as he’s climbing – but this is for his championship!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Agreed, Tony – Bryan has to climb now, lest he give Cody Rhodes any possible opportunity to overcome the terrible suplex he just took!

Danielson swallows and continues climbing, now up the ladder nearly three quarters of the way to the top. The Dragon’s fingertips can only just graze the slightest bits of the leather strap of his SGW Triple Crown Heavyweight Championship as he looks down at the mat, then further still to the arena floor, seemingly miles away from the point where he stands.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Bryan Danielson has nearly done it! This man has overcome challenge after challenge, both personally and professionally, and now he’s overcoming a fear of heights before our very eyes and for what? NOTHING LESS…than being SGW Triple Crown Champion!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Truly, Tony! To call Bryan ‘complex’ is almost disrespectfully saying the VERY least – but he’s doing everything in his power to win this match like he does any other, even if he sees this form of match as being beneath him!

Danielson shakily steps up again with his right foot, then presses up and rises another step, both feet on the second rung from the top of the ladder and looks up at the championships before him as the crowd in the Rungrado Stadium begins to roar excitedly. Annoyed, Danielson glares into the sea of people around him until he notices the source of their energy…

…Cody.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Oh my God! Oh my!

With both hands grasped around the sides of the ladder, the brutalized American Nightmare uses every last bit of energy in his body to force the ladder away from the center of the ring, tipping it off-balance towards the ring ropes! Realizing his opportunity is quite literally slipping through his fingers, Danielson reaches recklessly towards the SGW Triple Crown Championship belt, knocking it slightly askew as he falls helplessly through the air!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH NO!

Danielson attempts to step onto the top rope and stop his momentum, but the ladder is too close for the last-second attempt and the American Dragon drops from the near-top of the ladder all the way to the arena floor below in a terrifying fall as Cody drops to his chest in the ring.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Both men are absolutely spent! Both men have given everything within themselves and even that which they did not possess before the opening bell of this contest! Cody Rhodes and Bryan Danielson are hacking and sawing months and years from their lives here tonight and they’re giving it willingly – cheerfully, even! – all for the privilege of being called the Solid Gold Wrestling Triple Crown Heavyweight Champion of the World!

The fans in North Korea are roaring, practically shaking the second largest arena in the entire world and proving beyond a shadow of a doubt they are the largest crowd in the history of Solid Gold Wrestling as the collective yell and beg for one of Bryan Danielson or Cody Rhodes to rise to their feet! Time oozes by, each second like an hour as rhythmic clapping spreads through the arena. After a moment, the battle-spent body of Cody Rhodes presses up onto a single elbow from his stomach, his head still hanging, pressed off the mat on his forehead while the Rungrado Stadium explodes with energy. Cody slowly, painstakingly works his left knee beneath his torso, then gently forces himself up and onto the single knee with both hands. The fans begin roaring with enthusiasm as Rhodes gets his right knee under himself and grabs his face in both hands, trying to work through the agony in his back and neck long enough to rise up and find the ladder to win the match.

More importantly, to win the SGW Triple Crown Championship.

Around the arena, the fans are buzzing as Cody does his best to rise off the mat and we’re treated to a close-up shot of Bryan Danielson’s face, eyes closed, breathing shallow, no signs of fight left in the crashed-and-burned body of the American Dragon. Back inside the ring, the American Nightmare has somehow gotten his feet under himself, and the North Korean fans have the building breathing on its own, thunderously loud, and practically alive with energy and we cut back to the lifeless face of Bryan Danielson.

THE DRAGON’S EYES SNAP OPEN!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Bryan Danielson is alive!

Cody is finally standing, slightly wobbling, and looks across the ring at a ladder, still precariously balanced against the corner before the sight of Bryan Danielson slowly pulling himself up by the ring skirt takes his full attention! Rhodes is stunned to see his opponent, somehow now on his feet, but more pressingly, pulling himself into the ring with fury written across his face as plain to see as his beard!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Against all odds, hell, against all LOGIC – Bryan Danielson is still going! Look at the expression on the American Dragon’s bloody face, Tony!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The SGW Triple Crown Champion simply is not ready to relinquish his championship!

Seething, froth foaming from his lips, Danielson’s eyes narrow as he suddenly charges the American Nightmare – but Cody intercepts his attack and rolls through! – Rhodes has Danielson caught up in an inverted facelock! He’s looking for Cross Rhodes! The Dragon is too quick, though, and kneels, snapmaring Cody ahead – but Rhodes rolls through! Danielson is up as Cody runs at the near ropes and springs off, turning in mid-air –

[ Tony Schiavone ] DISASTER KICK! Cody’s boot laces scraped Danielson’s face!

Danielson turns upon impact, stunned and wobbling, and Cody hops up quickly and re-applies the inverted facelock! Cross Rhod—no! Danielson kneels out again and snapmares Rhodes to the mat, this time trapping his right arm with his own leg! The Dragon is enraged! ELBOW STRIKE TO THE NECK! ANOTHER!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] OH! STIFF SHOT TO THE NECK! ANOTHER! DANIELSON IS FILLED WITH MALICE!

Danielson’s elbow picks up speed, repeatedly slamming over and over and over and over into Cody’s head, neck, ear, and shoulder, driving the very life out of the Grandson of a Plumber! Cody’s eyes clench tightly, trying everything he can muster to escape the Dragon’s clutches, but eventually flutter and fade as his body weakens to the strike barrage. Danielson recognizes the lack of life in his opponent and brutally slams a final elbow strike down into his neck before throwing Cody into the canvas.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Good God almighty, that might have been the most sickening series of attacks I’ve ever seen in Solid Gold Wrestling, folks. Cody Rhodes is about as battle-damaged as could be humanly possible!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Look at the hatred in the eyes of the American Dragon Bryan Danielson, Tony. I have known Bryan a very, very long time, and his mental state is far from pristine, but you can tell that his rage is coming from his desire to mold professional wrestling into his own image, and if Solid Gold Wrestling, Cody Rhodes, or even the entire damn world will not be molded, he will quite literally break it into pieces and rebuild it, then!

Bryan Danielson stands, forcing his battered body off his knees and walks slowly to the ladder, grabbing it with the bare minimum strength needed to move it, and does so, dragging it to center-ring and erecting it beneath the pair of beautiful gold championship belts hanging in the air.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Far from me to criticize a champion as brutal, ruthless, and successful as Bryan Danielson, but I think I would be moving with more urgency than the Dragon is right now, Nigel.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I understand what you’re saying, Tony, but Danielson has been through hell in this contest – although not NEARLY as much as Cody Rhodes! Bryan must know he’s got his opponent dead to rights, because this is not the hustle and drive of a man still pushing against another man – this is the solemn knowing you’ve done it. This is the realization that the world of professional wrestling is a step closer to the image you’ve drawn out for it!

Sure enough, Cody Rhodes’ body is still laying motionless near the corner of the ring, breathing shallow, painfully, but not exerting any serious efforts to rise off the canvas and stop the Dragon from ending his championship reign and putting his family’s dream even further from reach. Danielson breathes deeply, and looks up the steel ladder again, shaking off the fear of heights which has factually seen his body fall as far as possible within these confines and begins to climb again.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Danielson’s defeated opponent after opponent over the course of this legendary reign with the top championship in this business, Tony, and it looks like another will join the long list tonight! Cody has GOT to get up if he wants to stop that from happening!

Danielson’s foot presses firmly off the first step and upward – past the second – and onto the third step. Bryan looks through the ladder and notices Rhodes’ body, still unmoving and continues upward, onto the fourth step and above again to the fifth! Danielson’s fingertips can graze his championship belt! The thousands upon thousands of fans in the arena suddenly begin screaming, roaring with a newfound energy as Danielson stands on his tiptoes, his hand now able to touch the golden center plate of his championship belt. The arena reaches a new level as Danielson’s eyes cut towards Rhodes, then to the long entrance ramp!

[ Tony Schiavone ] My God, look at this, Nigel! That’s Brianna Danielson – BRIE BELLA!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What in the world?! How in God’s name has Brie Bella gotten to North Korea?!

Bella runs the final leg of the way down the aisle, right past Brandi and Dustin Rhodes, and slides into the ring. Brie’s body trembles, she’s clearly tired from her journey and visibly shaken at the violence on display through the main event and looks up at her husband, tears streaking the final traces of mascara down her already track-marked cheeks. Danielson, maybe three-fourths the way up the ladder, looks down at Brie with puzzled indifference as she shrieks, loud enough to be picked up by the cameras and ring mics.

[ Brie Bella ] Bryan, PLEASE! PLEASE END THIS, BRYAN! Won’t you PLEASE think of your family, Bryan?

Danielson’s eyes narrow. Brie senses something shifting in her husband and calls out again, her body quivering with fear.

[ Brie Bella ] Think of your children, Bryan! They want to know their daddy! And I love you, Bryan, I love you so much! I want you to be happy, Bryan, but this is rec—

Bryan stomps up another step of the ladder, now standing with both feet on the rung JUST under the cap! His hand, still resting on the SGW Triple Crown Championship, slides slightly as he looks with fury towards his wife, still begging him to end the match.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Bryan’s going to end the match right here! This is it, Tony!

Brie slowly steps towards the ladder, a horrified smile crossing her face as tears continue to cascade down her makeup-strewn cheeks.

[ Brie Bella ] End this, Bryan! I’m so proud of you! We’re so proud of you! End this!

Danielson looks at the SGW Triple Crown Championship and a slight, hardly-noticeable smile crosses his face. He looks towards the WLCW World Championship and the smile fades a bit, then down to Cody, and the smile returns. Finally, Bryan Danielson looks at his wife, and the smile is quickly replaced by a look of utter disdain. The American Dragon takes another look at the SGW Triple Crown Championship and places his right hand on the hanger holding the belts, steadying himself.

[ Brie Bella ] Yes, Bryan! Do it, babe!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That’s it, Tony! The reign of the Dragon continues!

Still holding the hanger, Bryan steps onto the top of the ladder and looks down at Brie again, contempt in his eyes, before turning to Cody Rhodes – and leaping!

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO! OH MY GOD, NO! NOOO!!

Danielson soars through the air again, arms extended for a diving headbutt – which connects with nothing but canvas! Bryan’s head connects with the ring in a visceral, upsetting crash, jarring his limbs and emitting the most unpleasant, punitive noise imaginable upon impact. Only a foot away, Cody Rhodes somehow had the wherewithal to roll across his right shoulder and out of the way of the kamikaze headbutt, leaving nothing for Danielson to connect with but the hard ring below!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] BRYAN, NO! WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE, BRYAN?!

Brie Bella is instantly at the side of her husband, who hasn’t moved a centimeter since his horrifying collision with the ring. Cody, meanwhile, has come to his senses and looks on at Danielson’s body, laying lifeless beside his own. Dustin Rhodes has approached Danielson then quickly moves away, in shock at what he’s just seen. Brandi’s hand covers her mouth as a single tear falls from her own eye before she turns her attention back to her husband, who is finally moving again. Cody grabs the middle rope and exerting himself as much as humanly possible, pulls himself off the canvas in the corner! The fans in North Korea are absolutely nuclear as Cody, still gripping the top rope for support, looks towards the championships still dangling in the air above and lunges for the ladder, grasping the fifth rung to support himself – and begins climbing!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Bryan Danielson is not moving – but Cody Rhodes is climbing, Nigel!

After the monumental abuse his body has suffered through this scintillating contest, Cody is on pure adrenaline, pushed along and up the ladder solely by the desire to become Solid Gold Wrestling Triple Crown Champion. Painstakingly, Rhodes plants a foot into the fifth rung and reaches up, his own hand within reach of the dream which has eluded his family now for generations.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I cannot believe what we’ve seen here tonight, Tony. These two men…

Cody takes another step and breathes out, bent over the ladder and doing all he can to remain on his two feet before looking up, eyes locked on the two championship belts above him. Rhodes’ hand slowly extends to the SGW Triple Crown World Championship belt and rests upon the strap, fingers grasped on the leather, but stops. With his dream in his hand, Cody Rhodes looks down the ladder at Bryan Danielson’s body, still lifeless following his terrifying missed headbutt, and at Brie Bella, heaving uncontrollably with her own body covering as much of her husband’s as possible. Cody exhales, shaking his head side-to-side and pulls the strap of the SGW Triple Crown Championship as the fans in attendance explode with energy.

[ Tony Schiavone ] THAT’S IT!

‘Kingdom’ blares through the speakers of the arena as Rhodes lifts his arm again to the WLCW Championship belt and pulls down, releasing it as well. With both championship belts resting on the top of the ladder, Cody Rhodes looks down at them and beams, his body filling with energy because the ladder match, this physical nightmare nearly beyond comprehension, is over.

The Dream has been realized.

WINNER & UNIFIED CHAMPION
CODY RHODES in 18:02

Fireworks explode all around the ring.

Still standing near the very top of the ladder, Cody roars in victory and holds up the title with one arm before reaching down to steady himself. Still clutching the championship with one hand, he climbs down the ladder until he's chest level with the cap and then looks down at the championship. Overcome with emotion, he places his arm on the ladder's cap and then rests his head on it, sobbing hard.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Look at him, fella's. The man is overcome by emotion! His dream... his AMERICAN DREAM has finally come true! With this victory, Cody Rhodes has righted the wrongs done to his family over the years by Solid Gold Wrestling!

As Cody remains atop the ladder, EMTs hit the ring to check on Danielson, who still hasn't moved. Within moments, they have him strapped to a stretcher with a neckbrace and quickly roll him away from ringside. Brie Bella follows them to the back, sobbing into her hands. The EMTs seem grim as they push Danielson's motionless body through the curtain.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Seven HUNDRED and twenty-two days, gentlemen. That's how long Bryan Danielson reigned as the Solid Gold Wrestling Triple Crown World Champion. The longest title reign of any kind in all of SGW history has come to an end tonight, thanks to Cody Rhodes.

[ Tony Schiavone ] It's almost hard to imagine Solid Gold Wrestling without Bryan Danielson as champion, Nigel! The man has carried this company on his back through some of its darkest times!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I just hope the man's alright. It would be a shame if we never saw him compete in an SGW ring again.

The camera turns its focus back to Cody Rhodes, who remains with his head resting on his arm, the championship dangling from one hand at his side. Finally, he looks up with reddened eyes and bites his bottom lip... then pounds on the cap aggressively, filled with emotion! He takes two big steps up the ladder and holds the championship over his head once more before pounding his chest with his free hand! He points at the fans and then looks at the championship. He kisses the center plate and then nods before turning his attention to Kayla Braxton at ringside and shouting "gimme a mic!"

[ Tony Schiavone ] It looks like the new champ has something to say!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Seriously? Here, of all bloody places? The show is over, let's get outta' here before someone has an opportunity to attack Kim Jong-un, like when The Rock gave a Rock Bottom to the king of Saudi Arabia! That's how we got in this mess t' begin with!

Kayla hands the microphone off to a member of the crew, who runs it up to Cody. Cody accepts the microphone and places the championship flat on the cap of the ladder, center plate facing up. He looks around at the fans, visibly in pain but working hard to overcome it and get through this. Brandi Rhodes remains outside the ring, standing next to Dustin and looking up at her husband with a huge smile on her face. Cody looks down at her and winks, then points at Dustin and gives him a nod. Dustin nods back respectfully.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Dustin Rhodes. One of the all-time greats.

Cody looks down at the microphone and smirks before gently tapping on it with one hand to make sure it's on. Looking down at the championship, he raises the microphone and speaks, a noticeable tremble in his voice.

[ Cody Rhodes ] God damn, she's beautiful, isn't she?

He places one shaky hand on the center plate of the title, then looks back up at the fans. Everyone is on their feet, giving their full attention to The American Nightmare. He nods, then raises the microphone again.

[ Cody Rhodes ] I know I'm a stranger in a strange land... and there's not many of you who probably speak English-- hell, I'm willing to bet almost none of you speak English, but if you're all okay sitting here and listening to what I have to say for a few minutes, I've got some things I'd like to get off my chest.

The fans applaud loudly. Cody leans forward a bit and speaks directly into the mic, a sly smile appearing on his face.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Is... is that okay with you guys?

The fans cheer and Cody stands up straight, speaking even louder.

[ Cody Rhodes ] I thought I asked you a fuckin' question, North Korea!

They cheer even louder. The entire arena shakes with enthusiasm. Satisfied with the reaction, Cody nods and then turns ever so slightly. He points in the direction of the entrance curtain behind him.

[ Cody Rhodes ] First of all, Bryan Danielson... Dragon... brother... thank you for that match. Thank you for carrying Solid Gold Wrestling for the last few years. Thank you for being one of the most reliable men on this roster, night in and night out! Without you, who knows where we'd all be right now... I might be the one going to the pay winda' tonight, but you are, without a doubt, the best wrestler to ever lace up a pair of boots, and sharing this ring with you tonight was MY honor! Being the second man to carry this championship and follow you in this incredible championship lineage is an accomplishment that I will carry with me until I take my final breath. I love you, brother.

The rumble emanating from somewhere deep in the heart of the arena becomes even louder and louder. Cody smiles and nods, then runs his hand through his sweaty, disheveled hair.

[ Cody Rhodes ] There's been a lot of speculation on the internet for the past couple months about why Solid Gold Wrestling was holding a show in North Korea... end of the day, SGW got paid a lot of money to be here tonight. Make no bones about it, this is not a destination location for the world of professional wrestling, nor do I think professional wrestling is the kind of entertainment you kind folks are looking for either... but at the end of the day, we needed each other more tonight than we ever imagined.

Slowly, the camera zooms out and gives us a breathtaking shot of Cody sitting atop the ladder, looking out at the record shattering capacity crowd.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Those of you that know me... you know I love history. I love digging down deep and finding quotes from great men and women that can be applied to our lives today and when I read this one, it really hit home... it reminded me of why we're here.

He swallows hard. His voice trembles, threatening to crack.

[ Cody Rhodes ] "You cannot have unity without diversity."

He covers his heart with one hand.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Wow... those words--

A single tear rolls down his cheek as he bites his lip. He presses his fist to his lips and fights back the emotions that threaten to burst forth. Finally, he lowers his fist, lowers the microphone... and takes a moment. Applause swells up from the fans below and after a moment, he looks up and raises the microphone, speaking with an enthusiastic tone.

[ Cody Rhodes ] --and it's so true! It takes ALL OF US! It takes all of us from every walk of life! Different creeds, different colors-- different geographical footprints! We need our differences and we need to embrace those differences because that makes it all the more special when we come together-- when we UNITE and make this thing WORK! From the isolated world of North Korea -- and you can boo me for saying this but god dammit, I believe it and I'm gonna say it with with pride -- THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, and everywhere between! It's apropos that we came together tonight for this show and now it's OUR turn to unite once and for all for the greater good of the world!

Cody speaks, and this time his voice DOES crack.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Keith Lee marched on Washington DC to bring us all together and I REFUSE to let the hard work of people like him fall by the wayside--

He bows his head and takes a breath, then looks back up.

[ Cody Rhodes ] --when so much is at stake... for our future... for the future of my-- for the future of a perfect mixed race little girl that I brought into this world with the most beautiful Black woman on the whole god damn planet-- I love you, Brandi!

The camera cuts to a shot of Brandi clapping and shouting "I love you, too, baby!" We cut back to Cody atop the ladder, tears streaming down his face. He points into the camera.

[ Cody Rhodes ] And I love you, Liberty, so much more than you could ever possibly know but I'll spend the rest of my days doing my best to show you... this is just the start.

He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.

[ Cody Rhodes ] I'm gettin' a little emotional. Gimme a second, okay?

Brandi wipes tears from her own face and Dustin puts his arm around her, pulling her in close. Cody composes himself and picks up the Triple Crown Championship. He looks down at it and then back up at the fans.

[ Cody Rhodes ] As the new SGW Triple Crown World Champion, my responsibility is to the people who support Solid Gold Wrestling... and tonight, you kind people welcomed us into your homes-- into your hearts -- with open arms... whether it was against your will or because you genuinely wanted to be here, I don't care... thank you. Thank you so much. On behalf of the Solid Gold Wrestling family, we will forever be grateful for your hospitality!

Cody holds up his left hand, the "I love you" sign.

[ Cody Rhodes ] We don't have to be enemies anymore. We don't have to stay isolated from one another. Professional wrestling is universal... professional wrestling doesn't have borders. It's beautiful and it's for everyone... and North Korea, it's time.

He looks around and nods, then goes for it.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Yeah, it's time... it's time for YOU to become for EVERYONE! IT'S TIME FOR AMERICA TO BECOME FOR EVERYONE! IT'S TIME FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO BECOME FOR EVERY GOD DAMN ONE!

He holds up the championship and pounds on the cap aggressively.

[ Cody Rhodes ] LET'S GO! LET'S FUCKING GO!

Still holding up the championship, he pumps his fist aggressively

[ Cody Rhodes ] THIS IS A NEW WORLD!

He points at the championship.

[ Cody Rhodes ] THIS! IS! PROFESSIONAL! WRESTLING!

Cody throws the microphone down and raises the championship with both hands! The fans continue cheering loudly. The camera slowly zooms out, further and further, until we can see the entire sea of fans surrounding the ring. With a final shot of Cody celebrating with the championship, we fade to black.

The control room.

Kim Jong-un looks around frantically.

The Administrator is paying him no mind. Two masked guards stand on either side of the door. Kim Jong-un wipes the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief. One of the men sitting at a computer looks at him and speaks.

[ Soldier ] < Supreme Leader, the nuclear warhead display is armed. The power to destroy the United States is at the push of a button! We will begin the demonstration as soon as you give the order! >

Kim Jong-un looks down at the man, sweating profusely. He looks around the room at all of the men sitting at computers, ready to showcase the nuclear display of power for the United States and the rest of the free world. He wipes away at his forehead but the sweat just keeps pouring.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < No. >

[ Soldier ] < Sir? >

[ Kim Jong-un ] < No! Disarm the missiles! Cancel the demonstration! >

The Administrator turns and looks at Kim Jong-un, confused.

[ The Administrator ] What are you doing?

[ Kim Jong-un ] < I can't do it... I... the words of that man-- Cody Rhodes... >

Kim Jong-un puts his hand over his heart.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < His words have touched my heart! And I can not threaten to destroy the land which has given me my new best friend, Christian Cage, and the greatest wrestling company in the world, Solid Gold Wrestling... which I hope will continue onward for all time! >

[ The Administrator ] What!? We had a DEAL! The destruction of SGW's reputation hinged on your ability to reveal your nuclear capability to the rest of the world! SGW and North Korea are supposed to look like partners in global dominance... if there is no display of nuclear force, it just looks like SGW is desperate to return and is only here to collect a check!

BAM! BAM-BAM! There's an aggressive pounding on the door.

[ The Administrator ] You promised you would help me end Solid Gold Wrestling!

[ Kim Jong-un ] < I am sorry... but plans change. The words of your American Nightmare have made me realize what a shortsighted fool I have been. I will disarm my nuclear weapons and I will sign peace treaties with other nations... it is only TOGETHER that we can move forward, not just as North Korea... BUT THE WORLD! >

[ The Administrator ] You have got to be kidding me.

BAM! BAM-CRACK! The door to the control room splinters. Kim Jong-un and the Administrator both look confused. The masked guards turn and prepare to open the door, but before they can... we hear a motor revving up from outside! The door is suddenly ripped clean through with a CHAINSAW! The door is ripped to pieces... and "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN KICKS THE REMAINS OF THE DOOR DOWN! The fans explode! The Administrator clenches both fists in front of him, shouting with pure disdain in his voice!

[ The Administrator ] AUSTIN!

Austin holds up the chainsaw with both hands and revs it up loudly.

[ Steve Austin ] Catch you fuckers at a bad time?!

Austin throws the chainsaw at one of the soldiers sitting at a computer and he's quickly eviscerated in a spray of blood and guts, screaming until there's nothing but the sound of the motor purring, buried in the flesh, the guts, and finally the chair beneath his vibrating pelvic area. Before anyone else can respond, Austin immediately punches one of the masked guards down, then turns and nails the other with a boot to the stomach! He grabs the masked guard by the back of his head and throws him over a nearby desk! The soldiers rise up from behind their desks and charge at Austin one by one!

[ Kim Jong-un ] < Stop him! He is an enemy of world peace! >

Austin punches down all of the soldiers! He picks up one of the desk chairs and throws it at one of them, catching him right in the face! Austin begins stomping a mudhole in the man and walking it dry!

[ Steve Austin ] WHERE IS HE, YOU SUNSABITCHES! I KNOW YOU KO-REANS ARE BEHIND ALL THIS SHIT! WHERE IS HE!? WHERE'S DOUBLE J, HUH!? WHAT?! I SAID WHERE'S DOUBLE J--

BAM! Austin is knocked down to all fours by one of the masked guards! The other masked guard charges out of nowhere and boots him right in the side of the head! Austin goes down and one of the guards unmasks to reveal BIG POPPA PUMP! He stares down at Austin, breathing heavily.

[ Scott Steiner ] Stay down if ya' know what's good for ya', Austin!

The other guard unmasks, revealing HOOK! He's seething with anger.

[ HOOK ] ...

Austin's eyes go wide upon seeing the son of his greatest friend and rival, Taz! Without another word, they lift Austin up and hold him in place by each arm. Kim Jong-un looks around at the chaos all around him. We can still hear the chainsaw purring in the background. Kim Jong-un appears devastated.

[ Kim Jong-un ] < This is not how tonight was supposed to end-- >

CRASH! Kim Jong-un is hit with something off-camera! He goes down hard. The Administrator steps over the fallen Supreme Leader and stands in front of Austin with his back to the camera. The Administrator removes his mask, revealing his face to Austin. Austin struggles against the two men holding him and spittle flies from his mouth as he shouts at the man in front of him.

[ Steve Austin ] I KNEW IT! YOU WAS BEHIND IT ALL ALONG, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

The Administrator pays no attention to what Austin said.

[ The Administrator ] You're right, Supreme Leader... plans do change.

The men holding Austin smile evilly.

[ The Administrator ] And if you're not going to help me destroy Solid Gold Wrestling--

The camera slowly pans over to reveal Kim Jong-un on the floor with the busted frame of a guitar around his neck. The Administrator slowly turns around to reveal his face to us. The fans erupt in boos.

[ Jeff Jarrett ] --then I guess I'll do it my own damn self.

Ding.

A small light above the airplane seat lights up.

The flight attendant, a young Korean woman, approaches the seat. She smiles.

[ Flight Attendant ] How may I assist you, sir?

The camera pans over to reveal Christopher Daniels in a turtleneck sweater. He looks up at her and smiles, holding up an empty martini glass. She takes it from him and nods.

[ Flight Attendant ] Would you like another appletini, sir?

[ Christopher Daniels ] Why, yes I would. I'm celebrating.

[ Flight Attendant ] What's the special occasion?

[ Christopher Daniels ] I just retired... found the love of my life--

He puts his arm around a woman seated next to him, though we can't see her face.

[ Christopher Daniels ] --and now I'm on my way to Las Vegas.

The flight attendant smiles ear to ear.

[ Flight Attendant ] You must be feeling VERY lucky!

The camera pans over further to reveal the love of his life is KIM YO-JONG! She places her hand on his and smiles before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. He blushes and caresses her face, looking deep into her eyes.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Yes... yes, I do!

Fade.