12 / 28 / 2019 | United Center | Chicago, Illinois

Commentators - Nigel McGuinness, Tony Schiavone, & "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner

The darkness from the black fade of Shock persists for a moment until a flickering noise is heard and sparks slowly begin filtering up onto our screens along with words in a simple white font while Ozzy Osbourne’s “Straight to Hell” begins playing.

This time of year can be a total hell.

As an electric guitar shreds its’ notes, Ozzy’s raspy voice begins singing as we see clips of Randy Orton battling Adam Cole at 12 Large and their interaction at Fight to the Finish, ending with Orton’s wide eyes on his Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship.

Ozzy Osbourne:
You're flying higher than a kite tonight!
You've took the hit and now you feel alright!

Clips of Christina Von Eerie and Lacey Evans’ battles since the beginning of Holiday Hell are shown, ending with both ladies in a staredown.

Ozzy Osbourne:
Your dance be dead, so we must celebrate!
I'll make you scream, I'll make you defecate!

As the guitar continues playing towards the chorus of the song, clips of the Hybrid 2, Promocíones Dorado, Cody and Dustin battling amongst themselves are shown.

Ozzy Osbourne:
Straight to Hell tonight!

Clips of Colt Cabana smiling broadly, then Jimmy Havoc lifting the Elevation Championship, finally Randy Orton going nose-to-nose with Adam Cole as a burst of flame covers the entire screen until Ozzy’s face screams the final sentence and disappears into the flames.

Ozzy Osbourne:
We're going straight to Hell—
Straight to Hell tonight!

[ Deep Voiced Movie-Guy ] AND NOW…CORONA…and BLUECHEW present…SGW HOLIDAY HELLLLLLL!

A final flame overtakes the camera and we’re live in the United Center as a beautiful, loud display of pyrotechnics dance across the stage to light up the crowd with raw energy. The jam-packed Chicago crowd are on fire, pardon the pun, as the 2019 edition of Solid Gold Wrestling Holiday Hell is underway. A voice begins talking to us as we pan over the capacity crowd, showing off a variety of incredible signs, including:

“SLAY THE LADY”

“SUPER GOOD WRESTLING”

“#TEAMDISRESPECT”

“RKO my pussy, Randy!”

“COLT”

“WHERE’S SCOTT?!”

“WORLD CHAMP BAY-BAY”

“BIG POPPA PUMP IS THE HOOKUP”

and finally,

“LACEY” spelled out in glitter on a pink board!

[ Tony Schiavone ] WE ARE LIIIIIVE! From the Windy City of Chicago, Illinois and the beautiful facility known as the United Center, Solid Gold Wrestling presents our annual Christmastime spectacular, Holiday Hell! I am the ever-present voice of SGW, your friend, Tony Schiavone! It’s a real pleasure to be coming to you for the final time in the year 2019 as SGW gets ready to set the city on fire with a night of raucous wrestling action! With me tonight, as always, my broadcast partners – MY VERY BEST BUDDY Nigel McGuinness and “Big Poppa Pump,” Scott Steiner! Gentlemen – what an evening we have in store tonight!

We pan from the crowd to the announce table where the eager Schiavone is seated on the far right, Nigel in the center, his cool exterior throwing up a two-fingered salute while Scott Steiner’s massive, hulking frame is to the left, sunglasses on and chainmail shining brightly. Each man is in an immaculate three-piece suit – but, as is his custom, Steiner’s coat, nor his shirt, has attached sleeves, letting his gargantuan arms breathe in the Chicago air.

[ Scott Steiner ] That’s right, you pussy loser! It’s a helluva night tonight in Chicago – Big Poppa Pump can’t wait to see all the fine-ass women…slammin’ each others and tryin’ to get the attention…of the BIG…BAD…BOOTY DADDY! I’m watchin’ all of yas, so don’t worry – and since I didn’t get to comment on his match, Bryan Danielson! You vegan sunnavabitch! You’re a weak, flaccid, pubic-smelling little BITCH! And you’re just BEGGIN’ ta be embarrassed…and CHOKED OUT…by a real man! BY BIG POPPA PUMP! AND SOONER OR LATER – YOUR ASS WILL BE KNOCKED RIGHT OUT OF SGW!

There’s a resounding silence at the announce table as Nigel nods solemnly and Schiavone’s smiling, facing forward and not letting a single thing affect him. Steiner looks to his left and adds:

[ Scott Steiner ] ALSO, THAT SEXY BITCH TESSA BLANCHARD’S GUNNA FIGHT ALEXA BLISS TA’NITE! I KNOW MY BIG-ASS SWOLLEN MEMBER WILL WIN, BUT WHICH FREAK IS GONNA GET THEIR ARM RAISED…STRAIGHT UP…TWELVE MIDNIGHT…LIKE BIG POPPA PUMP?! TIME WILL TELL!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Nigel McGuinness is also here tonight!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Right-o, Tony, and I’ll tell you which match I’m anticipating – the big-time collision between Lacey Evans and the SGW Women’s Champion Christina Von Eerie! These two women have had a serious issue stemming all the way back to SGW Revenge in October and their issues will finally – hopefully – be resolved right here tonight!

[ Tony Schiavone ] That’s very true, Nigel, and you know what? It could very well be reckoning day for Maxwell Jacob Friedman as he and Drew Galloway –

[ Scott Steiner ] BIG SCOT!

[ Tony Schiavone ] – will take on their long-time rival Tim Storm and his newfound friend Sin Cara in tag team action tonight!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] So true, Tony – MJF’s been on a roll in pre-show contests, but with all due respect to the Mighty Maccabee, Tim Storm and Sin Cara are a significant step up in competition!

[ Scott Steiner ] HEY! What about the big ass belt?! The one yours truly beat ass for over and over again, heh?! The BIG BELT! The SGW Worlds Heavyweight Championship of the World! Randy Orton’s gonna fight Adam Cole – and no matter what – we’re gonna see an ass-kickin’ for all time!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Absolutely, Scott! With John Cena as special guest referee and a Championship Committee-assigned panel of Judges, the deck is certainly evened up if not STACKED against one Randy Orton!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Of course it is, Tony, but let me impart a little wisdom I heard once long ago – winners shall always do what winners do! We’ll see whether young Randall can hold off Arn Anderson’s Golden Boy Adam Cole tonight!

Before the commentary team can dive further into the SGW World Heavyweight Championship contest, “March of the Dead Things” begins playing and the stage lights glow black, gray and white – the skeletons are walking in Chicago!

[ Scott Steiner ] FAAAT ASS LA PARKA AHOY! AND MY GOD, WHAT IS THIS SAUCY BROAD NOT WEARIN’ TONIGHT!

Scott’s wisdom is, as always, vulgar and accurate. Salina de la Renta is leading her charges down to ringside in their customary black and white skeleton costumes, the younger member of the tandem, El Hijo del LA Park, stepping ahead of his manager and sliding eagerly into the ring first. His father, LA Park, brings up the rear in taking his time to glare at the front row fans who chant “YOU ARE FAT! YOU ARE FAT!” at him. Salina encourages him to “pay them no mind!” but Park is way ahead of her and flips off a young man of about 20.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Promocíones Dorado – the father and son duo of LA Park and El Hijo del LA Park, accompanied to the ring by Salina de la Renta – are as dangerous a team as any in solid Gold Wrestling! They have a big-time opportunity tonight to claim the championships – particularly because they technically never have been pinned in SGW action, Nigel!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Too true, Tony, and yet – they’ve got a mark on their backs in this match with a whole new set of rivals – and HERE THEY COME!

“Kingdom” fires up and lights up the United Center with energy as the lights on stage split 50/50 into a red and gold and red and blue blend before shining pure gold as the Brotherhood – Cody and Dustin Rhodes – emerge into the arena!

[ Tony Schiavone ] These men, fans, are clearly channeling their late father Dusty tonight with their choice of attire!

Schiavone calls attention to Cody’s sleeveless duster, the back of which appears to be a torn strip of leather, tattered on the ends with the American flag patterned on it. Dustin’s bodysuit and Cody’s tights are each half-adorned with golden polka dots on black pleather in honor of their father. Dustin’s face paint is red and black on his right side to match his bodysuit and bare for the polka-dotted Dusty tribute. Cody’s long tights are American flag patterned on the right with the black and gold dots on the left. From beyond the curtain emerges Brandi Rhodes, wearing a beautiful gold dancer’s top, complete with a tulle tutu skirt with black pleather polka dots to compliment the brothers’ attire.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] A stunning visual tribute to the American Dream, but let’s see if the Rhodes brothers can duplicate his winning ways, as well!

The Brothers slide into the ring and Senior Official Mike Chioda has quite the task in keeping the Rhodes away from the Park family before the bell rings. The entire situation is highly tense until Skrillex’s dubstep anthem “Bangarang” blares through the speakers, announcing the arrival of the SGW World Tag Team Champions, the Hybrid 2.

[ Scott Steiner ] These two shrimps are hardly Tag Champions! Imagine what me and Rick would do to these wieners!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Be that as it may, Scott, these men, Jack Evans and Angélico, are the Tag Team Champions and my friend Darío Cueto could not be happier with this fact!

The financier behind Los Ingobernables marches straight ahead with pure confidence, leading the coolly confident South African Angélico and the brash loudmouth Jack Evans to the ring, the gold prominently placed and featured on their walk to the ring.

[ Tony Schiavone ] It has to feel like a buzzsaw, though, Nigel – I mean, the Hybrid 2 literally got a last-minute hand from Darío Cueto to even win the championships – and that was in a triple-threat tag team contest, too!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] WHY do you see that as a negative, Schiavone?! That might have been a last-minute fix last time, but this time it’s a primary objective – win at all costs! Win no matter the hold! Win when you can, as fast as you can! If you think Darío hasn’t prepared these high-flyers for anything, you are sorely mistaken!

Referee - Mike Chioda | Time Limit - 60:00

LA Park storms ahead, double clotheslining Evans and Angélico to the floor and following them with a fury in his masked eyes. Inside the ring, Hijo begins doing his best to clobber both Dustin and Cody, but eventually succumbs to the numbers game and eats a double neckbreaker and a tandem senton for a one count. Outside the ring, Park slams Evans back-first into the guardrail and flinches Brandi by jumping towards her intimidatingly.

[ Tony Schiavone ] WHAT A BIG MAN, JUMPING AT BRANDI!

[ Scott Steiner ] He is a big man, look at that fat ass gut!!

Park clotheslines Angélico over the barricade elsewhere as Evans slumps off his guardrail and begins crawling towards the ring. Back inside, Hijo is doing his best to club away the Rhodes brothers, but Cody is too strong and plasters the younger luchador with a springboard savate kick and Dustin follows him with a stiff lariat! Hijo rolls to the apron and snipes a charging Dustin’s knee strike attempt with a shoulder block, rolling in over the Natural’s back and right into a blockbuster from Cody! Hijo rolls to the apron with Dustin as Evans and Cody begin throwing shots!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Throwing shots! What’ll happen here?

Evans cartwheels forward and CLATTERS Cody in the face with a capoeira kick! The American Nightmare slumps to the mat, seemingly unconscious! Brandi immediately runs to her husband, checking on him as he hasn’t moved in a few moments. On the apron, Hijo and Dustin are throwing shots at one another until Hijo superkicks Dustin, staggering the Natural! Evans runs and leaps over the rope, cross body blocking BOTH men and sending the three to the floor in a huge car crash!

[ Scott Steiner ] INSANITY! HOLY SHIT!

The Chicago crowd reply in kind, returning Steiner’s exclamation in chant form as Evans hops onto the guardrail and shushes the crowd before flipping insanely from the rail with a Phoenix Splash, smashing Dustin on the protective mat below!!

[ Tony Schiavone ] PHOENIX SPLASH! MY GOD! THAT’S CRAZY!

Still brawling in the crowd, Park whips Angélico towards a wheeled production cabinet, but the South African daredevil reverses the whip and crashes the masked man into the steel! Working quickly, Angélico pops off a standing shooting star press to Park’s back and starts fishing around on the ground, looking for something unknown.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Now what in the hell is Angélico doing?!

The South African slips a cord around the larger luchador’s ankle and tightens it, stomping his ankle a few times before fetching a chair from an unwilling audience member’s ass and lifts it as Salina runs over, begins Angélico to reconsider – but his face reads anything but reconsideration as the arena lights glimmer off the steel.

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO! DON’T DO THIS!

Angélico brings the chair down! A STIFF SHOT! AND ANOTHER! AND ANOTHER!

[ Scott Steiner ] FAT SKELETON’S DEAD NOW!

In all, Angélico smashed Park with maybe seven chair shots before throwing it at the back of his skull and beginning to walk back to the arena proper, his work finished. Meanwhile, Salina begins checking on Park as Evans straddles the still downed Hijo and begins plastering him with punch after punch after punch to the masked face.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It looks like Promocíones Dorado is down a member now for sure – and Hijo isn’t looking so good, either!

With LA Park tied by his ankles to a production cabinet halfway through the audience – and more importantly, likely unconscious – there was little to stop the Los Ingobernables beatdown on Hijo as Evans and the now-returned Angélico pounded his masked face over and over with balled fists. Senior Official Chioda screamed for the Hybrid 2 to stop the assault, but Darío Cueto’s silky, smooth voice encouraged him to ease his shouting. As Brandi continues yelling at Cody and Dustin to get up and stop the madness at hand, Evans lifts Hijo to his shoulders as Angélico slides into the ring with haste.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What the hell are these crazy people doing now?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It certainly looks as if they’re preparing to cross one team off this docket once and for all!

As the South African madman gets up, he’s hopping to the top rope and positioning Evans where he’s needed. Cueto looks a bit timid as Salina, still doing everything she can to revive Padre Park, screams through tears for them to stop the attack, but Angélico breathes out – and flies!!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY GOD!

Angélico soars through the air, connecting with Hijo, clothesline-style, completeing the inside-to-outside Doomsday Device! The United Center explodes with energy as Angélico holds his knees, clearly in pain as Hijo lays perfectly still in a heap on the ground. Evans begins jaw-jacking with the approaching Salina and dodges a weakly-thrown slap attempt, sliding into the ring to attend to Cody – but Dustin’s alive and spears Evans practically out of his shoes!

[ Scott Steiner ] THE OLD MAN’S ALIVE! HOLY HELL!

Dustin begins punching Evans over and over and lifts Evans, whipping him off the ropes – and scoring with a hiptoss! Evans pops up – ARMDRAG! The high-flyer is up again but Dustin is rolling – BEAUTIFUL DROPKICK! Dustin twirls his finger in the air as Brandi excitedly claps her hands before shaking Cody by the shoulder again – but it’s no good – the American Nightmare is still out!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Dustin is fired up! This could be his moment!

The Natural positions Evans for a Powerbomb and lifts – but Evans rolls over his shoulders, nearly scraping the ropes, but Rhodes is quick and flips over his smaller opponent, looking for a sunset flip!! Evans aloha hulas for a moment before hooking Dustin’s legs under his arms and falls ahead – INTO DARIO’S HANDS! Cueto has Evans’ hands locked up and is hidden from Chioda’s view!!

ONE!

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO! NOT THIS WAY!

TWO!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] IT’S A REPEAT OF THE TITLE WIN! SHEER GENIUS!

THR—NO!! NO!! Brandi breaks the grip of Cueto’s hands and Dustin springs his legs out at the very last moment!

[ Scott Steiner ] THE SEXY BROAD BROKE UP THE CHEATING! OLD MAN RHODES KICKS OUT!

Evans grabs the sides of his head in shock as Dustin glares at him and dives with a punch – connects! The Natural is still a house of fire even through Los Ingobernables’ attempts to douse the flames and whirls Evans up and off the mat, clipping him with a mighty powerslam! Dustin covers! ONE! TWO!

Angélico soars in with a springboard frog splash and connects, breaking the fall and smashing Dustin! As the South African Los member drags Dustin from the mat and off his partner, Evans slowly begins attempting to recover as Angélico lifts the Natural and tosses him to the apron. The South African props his larger opponent up and leaps onto his shoulders as Chicago roars in preparation for the madness to come.

[ Scott Steiner ] YES, YOU SKINNY SHIT, WRECK THIS OLD MAN ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Angélico begins bending, looking for a poisonrana onto the apron, but Dustin holds on – and tosses the Los Ingobernables member forward before smashing him down onto the apron on the back of his head with a reverse DDT!!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] MY WORD! WHAT AN IMPACT ON THE BACK OF ANGELICO’S HEAD!

Dustin took the brunt of the impact in falling to the floor, but Angélico’s not moved in the slightest before rolling haphazardly to the floor, narrowly avoiding Dustin before crashing in a heap of man beside his opponent.

[ Tony Schiavone ] AND SOMEHOW – IN ALL OF THIS – THE ONLY MAN STANDING IS JACK EVANS!

Evans stumbles across the ring and double stomps the still-down Cody before slowly climbing out of the ring and up the turnbuckles! Darío Cueto is practically screaming in joy on the floor, encouraging his man to dive and end this match once and for all with a 630 Splash. Evans looks around the arena, smirking and mouthing off before finally ending up with his eyes on Brandi Rhodes on the ground below, blowing her a kiss and grabbing his crotch as Cody’s wife sneers in disgust.

[ Tony Schiavone ] DISPICABLE! SIMPLY DISPICABLE! Just do it, Evans! Just do it!

Evans finally leapt, soaring off the top rope with a majestic flip – but Cody rolls inward! The loudmouth aerial artist must have predicted a move and lands on his feet, rolling forward before turning on his heel and dashing to Rhodes, who throws a lariat – Evans matrix bends, avoiding the clothesline, and bends back up – BUT RHODES SNAP TURNS – HE’S GOT HIM HOOKED! CROSS RHOOOODES!!!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] CROSS RHOOODESS!! COVER THE MAN!

EVANS LANDS RIGHT ON HIS FOREHEAD AND BENDS DISGUSTINGLY AT THE SPINE!! Cody covers, hooking both legs and bending all the way back – ONE! TWO! THREE!!

WINNERS & NEW CHAMPIONS - The Brotherhood via Pin Fall in 19:41

“Kingdom” echoes loudly through the arena as Cody releases Evans’ leg and immediately grabs his head in sheer exasperation – what a match!

[ Tony Schiavone ] CODY! CODY! CODY RHODES!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] In the culmination of an insane 2019 for the Rhodes Brotherhood, they have been crowned the Solid Gold Wrestling World Tag Team Champions! The celebration has begun, but my dear, dear friend Darío Cueto is devastated at ringside!

Nigel is correct; Darío is heartbroken as Evans rolls from the ring to the protective mats on the arena floor at his feet. Cueto kneels and begins checking on one half of his Hybrid 2, taking a moment to glare into the ring at Cody, who is hugging his brother as Senior Official Mike Chioda presents the Brotherhood with their new gold – the SGW World Tag Team Championships!

Both Rhodes brothers are crying, in shock at the situation unfolding for their family as they throw the championships into the air in celebration. Cody welcomes Brandi into the ring and kisses her, still in jubilation after the roller coaster ride that is 2019 for him.

[ Scott Steiner ] Well hell, I guess even Cody’s ass can pull the old ass freak to championship gold. More power to him, helluva flex, BUT! BUT! WHEN YOUR ASS IS DOWN AND OUT AND YOU NEEDS SOME DAMN HELP, YOU’RE GONNA WISH YOU HAD A REAL MAN PARTNER! SUCKS THAT WHEN YOU’RE DEAD, I’LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SEXY LITTLE PAPRIKA WIFE INTO MY STABLE…OF FREAKS! SUPPLE…MOIST…WAITING…FOR THE TAKING! WAITING – FOR THE BIG, BAD…BOOTY DADDY!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Good Lord, Scott, the man just won Tag Team Championship gold and you’re already writing him off for dead?!

No matter, as the Rhodes’ celebration is in full swing. Dustin is shaking his brother’s hand with a gleam in his eyes, finally having proven himself on the grand stage – and beside his brother. The three Rhodes look up into the sky, pointing a finger as the tears fall in joy – this one is clearly for Dusty as a shot of confetti explodes above the United Center.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Wow! What a celebration this is! Many congratulations to Cody and Dustin – you’ve made your father proud, boys!

We get a final glance at Dustin and Cody embracing in center ring, confetti falling on the Rhodes family as we fade to the back.

We can still hear the live crowd cheering as we go backstage where we see Christina Von Eerie standing by with Cathy Kelley. The fans pop huge as they lay eyes on the SGW Women's World Champion for the first time tonight. Luster the Legend and Adam Thornstowe stand behind her, being supportive. The championship rests on her shoulder and she clutches it tightly with both hands, hugging it close to her. She's clearly in the zone.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Christina Von Eerie, this is a night I'm sure you've been waiting for... not is this your first defense of the SGW Women's World Championship... but you're finally getting Lacey Evans in the ring one-on-one.

Luster pats Von Eerie on the shoulder, the impact almost knocking her forward a step.

[ Cathy Kelley ] The two of you have been at odds since day one at SGW Revenge and it's all come down to this, what's going through your head right now?

Von Eerie takes a deep breath and stares off into the distance for a moment before cutting her eyes in Cathy's direction. The live crowd is buzzing with electricity, waiting to hear what she has to say.

[ Christina Von Eerie ] It's bittersweet.

Cathy looks confused. Von Eerie looks down for a moment and then back up.

[ Christina Von Eerie ] This is something I've wanted since the day I walked into this company. Winning the tag match at Momentum wasn't good enough... beating her... pinning her at Mile High Madness... wasn't good enough. Of course, I wanted falls count anywhere, I wanted no disqualification... I wanted something that would leave no doubt that... no matter what she does... no matter what she says... I'm better than her.

Von Eerie turns and looks into the camera.

[ Christina Von Eerie ] But of course... she's too much of a pussy for that.

Von Eerie shakes her head.

[ Christina Von Eerie ] Trish was willing to go for it and let us let it all hang out but no, that wasn't good enough. Lacey Evans had to reach into her deep pockets and pay off whatever jackhole on the Championship Committee is taking bribes so she doesn't have to give me what I want... or give the fans what they want.

Von Eerie's eyes narrow and she looks pissed.

[ Christina Von Eerie ] And speaking of the championship committee, why isn't anyone doing anything about that? SGW management has allowed this guy to corrupt the tag title match, the 12 Large tournament, and now this match. It's time someone stands up and does something about this because it's fucking unacceptable!

Before Von Eerie can go any further, Lacey Evans walks into the shot, not even remotely dressed for her match, in a yellow and white polka dot dress. The fans erupt in boos as Evans stand on the other side of Cathy Kelley and glares at Von Eerie with an arrogant smile on her face. Luster and Thornstowe loom behind Von Eerie, squaring up as though they're ready to fight. Von Eerie doesn't take her eyes off Evans but she raises her hand, steadying the men behind her and gently shakes her head. Evans huffs, her smile becoming even bigger.

[ Lacey Evans ] Child, you best be calling off those nasty dogs of yours, 'fore I put 'em to sleep!

Luster and Thornstowe look at one another, offended. Von Eerie completely no-sells it.

[ Lacey Evans ] I find it hard to believe that this is actually somethin' you wanted, Christina. One-on-one with lil ol' me? That's practically a death sentence for someone of your talent level. Everybody knows if it was you 'n me one-on-one at Mile High Madness, I'd be the women's champion right now... and there wouldn't be a darn thing you could do about it... tonight, you're gonna find that out firsthand.

Von Eerie abruptly pushes past Cathy Kelley and gets right in Lacey's face. Kelley looks surprised and Lacey's mouth hangs slightly ajar, taken aback by the gesture. Von Eerie stares right into her eyes. She removes the championship from her shoulder and holds it up next to her own face, making sure Lacey is close enough that she can see her reflection in it.

[ Christina Von Eerie ] ...prove it.

Lacey raises an eyebrow and her eyes fall on the championship... and then they catch a glimpse of something off-camera. Evans shakes her head, disgusted, and quickly turns and vacates the set. Von Eerie is trembling with intensity. She looks at the championship herself and then lowers it, placing it back on her shoulder. She slowly turns and suddenly comes face to face with RHEA RIPLEY. Ripley is looming over her, her eyes locked on the championship resting on her shoulder. Luster and Thornstowe remain in the background, keeping a close eye on what's happening. Ripley tilts her chin up, giving Von Eerie a slight nod.

[ Rhea Ripley ] Good luck t'night, champ.

Without another word, Ripley walks past her and off-camera. Von Eerie watches her disappear in the distance, a touch of confusion etched across her face. The fans react in a very mixed way, not sure how to take that interaction.

[ Christina Von Eerie ] ...yeah... thanks...

We fade out and hit the ring for our next match.

Commotion overtakes a hallway backstage as Luke Harper, Chris Dickinson, and Christopher Daniels are laying waste to Triple H in a three-on-one attack. Having no chance to defend himself, Triple H is covering his face the best he can from the blows.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Oh, what time is it you ask? It’s time to play the game! Spoiler alert, pal, there’s no cheat codes! This game cannot be beaten!

Luke Harper, Mr. Sadistic himself, walks out of picture and quickly comes back in riding a motorcycle that’s speed probably doesn’t even register on the speedometer. As the camera pans out, we see Bray Wyatt observing the happenings from afar just around the corner.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Let’s show The Game just how damn good we are, huh?!

Luke Harper gets off the bike and drags a chain to Triple H and begins wrapping it around his legs as Dickinson continues giving him the boots to the gut and ribs. With the chain secured to the bike and Triple H’s legs, Harper gets back on the bike and revs it up loudly.

[ Luke Harper ] It’s time to get real ass sadistic.

With one final rev of the bike’s engine, Harper zooms down the hallway with Triple H being drug behind! We see Red Hook Petey fastened tightly to the back of the bike with twist ties, looking down at Triple H.

[ Red Hook Petey ] SUH-VIVE!!!

The bike speeds out of sight with Triple H being slung all over the place on the ground. Satisfied, Christopher Daniels shakes hands with Dickinson.

[ Chris Dickinson ] Man, fuckin’ a. Sucks to be him right now.

[ Christopher Daniels ] He was simply too busy, Dirty Daddy. Now, he can lick his wounds while he foolishly awaits the resurrection of a dead promotion, choosing to be a big fish in a small pond rather than compete with the elites in SGW like us!

Daniels turns to see Bray Wyatt still peeping around the corner. Wyatt looks surprised as Daniels points in his direction.

[ Christopher Daniels ] And you!

[ Bray Wyatt ] Who?! Me?!

[ Christopher Daniels ] Stay the hell away from Harper! He’s mine!

Daniels and Dickinson exit the scene as Wyatt covers his mouth with his hands, revealing the gloves reading “HURT” and “HEAL.” The scene fades to black.

We return to the ringside area where the fans are still stirring with uncertainty over how the relationship between Christina Von Eerie and Rhea Ripley will progress going forward. The camera takes a brief lap around the ring before settling on a wide shot of the entranceway.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well, that was certainly interesting. Christina Von Eerie is ready for tonight but what lies waiting around the corner if she walks away from Holiday Hell, still the women's champion?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The Solid Gold Wrestling Women's Division continues t' grow 'n thrive! Nia Jax made an impact t'night! Lacey Evans is hot on Christina's heels and we'll see how that pans out t'night! Rhea Ripley hasn't forgot what happened at Mile High Madness, either! And you must assume that the winna' of our next contest will be in line for a title shot as well!

[ Scott Steiner ] The spooky emo broad wit' the mohawk has got a bullseye on her back that's almost as large as my fuckin' arms! Almost! 'Cause ain't nothin' bigger than these peaks! But the point remains the same! It reminds me of when I was the greatest SGW World Heavyweight Champion of all time! Everybody wanted a piece o' me! Bret Hart! Gangrel! Big Slow! Ric Flair! Fuckin' Taz! Even my own partners wanted a piece o' me! It's gonna be make or break time for the Halloween Store reject when all these other hungry broads start makin' some noise about gettin' what they're owed! She's either gonna crumble under the pressure like she ain't shit... or she's gonna step up and become a god damn legend... just like me! Only not as good as me because I'm the greatest of all time and there can only be ONE!

The Golden-Tron flashes to life and "Spiteful" hits, drawing insane heat from the fans. Alexa Bliss makes her way out onto the stage and the boos get even louder. She stops the edge of the stage, clenches her fists at her sides, and shakes her head in disgust. Despite her smoldering rage, Bliss is visibly shaken by the loss of Nikki Cross. Bliss huffs and begins walking down the ramp.

[ Tony Schiavone ] That is not the face of a happy woman.

[ Scott Steiner ] Spoken like a man familiar with the face of a dissatisfied woman, Tony. You bitch!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Despite her best laid plans, Alexa Bliss' world has been upturned t'night, fans! You have t' assume she figured Nikki Cross into the long game heading into this match but Tessa Blanchard eliminated Nikki Cross in the parking lot earlia' tonight and now... she has to go it alone!

Bliss makes her way up the ring steps and then walks across the apron before turning her back to the ring and looking out at the fans once again. She sits on the middle rope and then swings her legs around into the ring, landing on her feet and walking to the center. The boos continue to rain down as she stands in the center of the ring and holds her arms out to the side, forcing an arrogant smile before giving way to her ill-tempered mood.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Alexa Bliss has been making a considerable amount of noise about how this is her division and Christina Von Eerie is carrying around her championship... if Alexa Bliss comes away victorious tonight, it's going to be difficult for anyone to deny her a championship match... moreso than that, if she defeats Tessa Blanchard tonight, it'll be hard to deny that she has a very real chance of becoming the champion!

"This Time I Want It All" hits and the fans cheer loudly. Alexa snaps her head in the direction of the entranceway, instantly shaking off any sign of nerves and appearing twice as furious, gritting her teeth. Tessa Blanchard walks out onto the stage with a confident strut. Paige walks out behind her, a big smile on her face. Tessa stops at the edge of the stage and turns her back to the ring, whipping her hair around and throwing a wink over her shoulder before turning around and throwing her arms out to the side. Paige applauds, nodding along with satisfaction.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tessa Blanchard, one of the premier athletes in the world today! Not female athlete... just athlete! Despite her talent, despite her pedigree, she has been the target of endless harassment by Alexa Bliss since the very beginning! SGW Revenge! Since then, Alexa has assaulted her, even costing her an opportunity at the SGW Women's Championship at Mile High Madness! You must believe that Tessa Blanchard is ready to put this issue to bed tonight!

Before Tessa begins making her way down to the ring, she turns and tells Paige to go to the back and, unlike Tessa's former manager Paul Heyman, Paige graciously bows and walks to the back with full confidence.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Would ya' look at that! Tessa wants to do it on her own!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tessa's career has been the source of some controversy over the past month. She's recently fired her manager, Paul Heyman, whom she entered the company under the tutelage of. She's struck out on her own wit' her friend, Paige, and is now looking to blaze her own trail in Solid Gold Wrestling! Alexa Bliss has been making that more than a little difficult and here we are!

Once Paige disappears behind the curtain, Tessa begins walking down to the ring with purpose and climbs the ring steps before walking across the apron, her nose held high in the air. She steps through the ropes and barely even pays Bliss any mind as she walks right past her and throws another wink at the fans over her shoulder. Bliss wrings her hands together anxiously, scowling at The Diamond as she removes her entrance vest and tosses it to the side. Blanchard takes her place in her corner and finally allows her eyes to settle on Bliss. Aubrey Edwards calls for the bell to begin the match!

Referee - Aubrey Edwards | Time Limit - 30:00

As soon as the bell rings, Alexa Bliss charges across the ring and brings her down with a drop toe hold, causing Alexa to fall face first into the bottom turnbuckle! Blanchard immediately seizes Alexa's ankle and drags her out of the corner, flipping her over and mounting her before raining down punches and forearms as Alexa desperately tries to cover up! Tessa lets up and stands, throwing her hands out to the side as the fans cheer! As Tessa gloats, taunting Alexa, Alexa rolls out of the ring, touching her jaw where several impacts were made and narrows her eyes angrily. Tessa leans through the ropes to grab Alexa by the hair and drag her back into the ring but Alexa whips around and nails Tessa with a big right hand before taking a handful of HER hair and dragging her through the ropes to the apron. Tessa catches herself on her knees on the apron and rises to her feet, but Alexa snatches her ankles and swings them out, causing Tessa to face plant on the apron!

[ Tony Schiavone ] What a ruthless attack from Alexa Bliss!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tessa had the match in the palm of 'er bloody hand but she gave Alexa Bliss an inch and now she's lookin' t' take the whole damned thing!

Tessa falls off the apron to the floor and Alexa looms over her, breathing heavily, seething with anger! She grabs two handfuls of Tessa's hair and drags her up to her feet before pushing her back against the apron. Alexa drills Tessa with a big forearm to the chest! And another! And another! But Tessa absorbs all three, looks FURIOUS, and roars right in Alexa's face! Alexa shrieks like a child and literally runs in the opposite direction! Alexa rounds three sides of the ring before Tessa meets her halfway with a LARIAT that turns her inside out! The impact leaves Alexa in a seated position, looking completely out of it! Tessa grabs Alexa by her hair and tights before slinging her under the bottom rope! Alexa rolls to the center of the ring and immediately tries to return to her feet... but lags on all fours. Tessa climbs onto the apron and then begins ascending the turnbuckles from the outside. She perches on the top rope just as Alexa returns shakily to her feet... MAGNUMMMMMMM!

[ Scott Steiner ] God damn! She killed that midget dead!

[ Tony Schiavone ] THAT'S HER MOVE!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] PIN 'ER, TESSA! END IT!

The fans pop huge and Alexa is DEAD! Tessa covers her! One! Two! Thr-- NO! TESSA PICKS ALEXA UP! The fans pop huge! Tessa shakes her head and grabs Alexa by either side of her face. Tessa snarls and yells right in her face "I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU, BITCH!" and then throws Alexa back down. Tessa stands and snatches up Alexa's ankle... AND LOCKS IN THE FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK! The fans "WOOOOOOOOOO!" in unison and Alexa shrieks in pain before vigorously tapping out!

WINNER - Tessa Blanchard via Submission in 3:01

The fans pop huge and Tessa leaves the move locked on for a few extra seconds before finally releasing it and returning to her feet. Alexa is literally crying out in pain as she clutches her knee and rolls out to the floor. Tessa remains in the ring, watching as Alexa rolls out with utter disdain on her face. Aubrey Edwards raises Tessa's hand in victory and then quickly exits the ring to check on Alexa.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Tessa Blanchard has done it! She's vanquished Alexa Bliss once and for all tonight!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Excellent showing from Tessa Blanchard as she makes short work of a woman who has attempted t' make her life a living hell since the day she walked in the door! I bloody applaud it, gentlemen! This is what the SGW Women's Division is all about! Not snide remarks 'n snotty attitudes!

Tessa Blanchard exits the ring and walks up the ramp without even looking back, having dispatched her nemesis. However, as Tessa makes it halfway up the ramp, the fans pop huge as Rhea Ripley emerges from the backstage area. Rhea simply stands on the stage and stares down the ramp at Blanchard, who doesn't even hesitate and continues walking up the ramp.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] My goodness, what is Rhea Ripley doing out 'ere?

[ Tony Schiavone ] I... I don't know!

[ Scott Steiner ] The MOOSE has come to collect her fuckin' debt!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It was two weeks ago at Fight t' the Finish when Tessa Blanchard defeated Rhea Ripley thanks to some... ill-timed inta'ference on behalf of 'er former. It wouldn't surprise me if Rhea Ripley is looking for an opportunity to rectify that right now!

Blanchard stops as she comes face to face with Ripley. They stare each other down and the fans are waiting, holding their breath as they wait for someone to throw a punch. Ripley sneers and can be heard saying "we're not through." Blanchard smirks and offers a confident nod before saying "any time, any place" and shouldering past Ripley on her way to the back. Ripley stands there fuming and shakes her head.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Challenge accepted, wouldn't you say?

[ Tony Schiavone ] It's not over! It's not over by a long shot!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] With Alexa Bliss vanquished and Paul Heyman out o' the picture, I think we're gonna see this friendly rivalry reach its full potential... and I'm blood 'ere for it!

The camera focuses on the intense Ripley as we return to the back.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas is pacing side to side frantically as Team Tremendous approach him.

[ Dan Barry ] You wanted to see us?

[ Shane Douglas ] THE FRANCHISE WANTS TO KNOW OFFICER, WHERE IN THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?! HUH?! FUCKIN’ EATIN’ DONUTS AND BEATING DOWN MINORITIES FOR NO REASON?! FUCKIN’ PIG!

[ Bill Carr ] Hold on one second! We will have no such accusations thrown our way like that!

Carr goes to his holster but Barry stops him dead in his tracks, doing his best to defuse the situation.

[ Dan Barry ] C’mon. You’ve seen the guy in action. He’s.. peculiar.

[ Shane Douglas ] WHAT THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE IS, JACK, IS FUCKIN’ TIRED OF WAITING TO DO AN INTERVIEW WITH SOME JUSTICES OF THE PEACE! I DON’T WANNA BE HERE, YOU DON’T WANNA BE HERE, LET’S JUST FUCKIN’ YACK IT UP A SECOND AND GET THE FUCK OUTTA’ HERE!

[ Bill Carr ] Why don’t you want to be here? We won our match! We easily defeated the Golden Lovers!

[ Shane Douglas ] HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT’S AROUND MY FUCKIN’ WAIST? THE LIFETIME SGDUBYA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!

[ Dan Barry ] I’m no Sherlock Holmes, but I also see your pants are filled with piss.

[ Shane Douglas ] STARE AT MY CROTCH ANY LONGER, PIG, AND I’LL MAKE YOU SUCK MY CO-

[ Bill Carr ] Alright, Shane, seriously. We have a case to work.

He quickly yanks his sunglasses off his face and turns his head to the camera.

[ Bill Carr ] The case of why Team Tremendous has yet to get a shot at those Tag Team titles.

[ Dan Barry ] That’s right. Let it be known right here, right now, Team Tremendous is comin’ for those belts in 2020!

Before they can get going any longer, Southern Hospitality comes into the picture being led by Tammy Sytch in a skirt so short you’d be hard-pressed to even consider it clothing.

[ Mance Warner ] Ya’ hear this, Cam? These boys think they’re next for a shot at the straps!

[ Cameron Grimes ] Nobody in this company is gettin’ a shot at those titles except for us!

To make matters worse, Reno SCUM enters the fray.

[ Adam Thornstowe ] That’s where all of you are wrong!

[ Luster the Legend ] What have we got here, Adam? The Loser Convention?

[ Mance Warner ] Get t’hell outta’ here!

[ Cameron Grimes ] Or you won't be a fan of the consequences.

Grimes steps up to Thornstowe as Carr tries to defuse the situation.. Poorly.

[ Bill Carr ] Now everyone, hang on..

Reno SCUM and Southern Hospitality now have a face off as the tension in the room is thickening by the second. LOS ICE CREAMS! The two deck Southern Hospitality to the ground and begin laying down the boots with the other teams in the room looking on, not offering any help. Ted DiBiase strolls into the picture with a handful of cash. He rolls up a $100 bill and sticks it neatly between Tammy Sytch’s cleavage.

[ Ted DiBiase ] Use this to buy yourself a new wardrobe!

Ted DiBiase begins making it rain, just sending dollar bills flying in the air without any regard of the amount he’s wasting. His tandem continue laying the boots down to Southern Hospitality with Tammy Sytch not being able to do anything but look on and beg her boys to fight back!

[ Ted DiBiase ] WHO NEEDS TO EARN A TITLE SHOT WHEN I CAN SIMPLY BUY MY CLIENTS A SHOT?! BECAUSE I’M RICH! I’M FILTHY RICH! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[ Shane Douglas ]THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF PANTS!

Douglas dives to the floor, knocking everyone else out of the way and begins shoveling the loose bills into every open pocket he has on his person. Reno SCUM see what’s going on and they also hit the floor and start collecting the bills. Dan Barry and Bill Carr pull out the finger guns and point them at everyone in sight!

[ Dan Barry ] THAT’S ENOUGH! WE NEED TO RESTORE ORDER AND STOP THE FIGHTING RIGHT NOW!

[ Shane Douglas ] I DARE YOU TO FUCKIN’ SHOOT ME YOU COWARDS! YOU LAY MY BRAINS ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW AND THEY’LL BE PROTESTIN’ IN THE GODDAMN STREETS, DEMANDING JUSTICE FOR THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE! THEY’LL BE SMASHIN’ WINDOWS AND LOOTIN’ EVERY MOTHER FUCKIN’ DENNY’S IN SIGHT UNTIL YOU TWO ARE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE!

[ Dan Barry ] ...Why would anyone loot at Denny’s?

Luster the Legend takes a $20 bill and shoves it in Dan Barry’s mouth as Adam Thornstowe sticks on in the front pocket of Carr’s dress shirt and gives it a pat.

[ Adam Thornstowe ] Use this cash to buy ya’ some real guns an’ then we’ll listen, yeah?

Seeing the opportunity amidst the chaos, Luster the Legend looks to the camera.

[ Luster the Legend ] Tonight, we claim the cash. Soon and very soon, we claim those Tag Titles!

We fade to black as a full on assault unfolds with everyone scrambling for Ted DiBiase’s cash while Southern Hospitality get to their feet and begin fighting Los Ice Cream. Road agents hit the scene and are doing their best to restore some order as the scene fades.

Backstage, Darío Cueto’s smirking face fills our screens. The shock of the expression startles some fans, who boo at the surprise and El Jéfe chuckles to himself as he looks to his left.

[ Darío Cueto ] Ah, mis amigos in Chicago…don’t be little children. I’m not here to hurt you.

The camera zooms out and shows Tetsuya Naito, wrapping his wrists with diligence as Cueto watches on through narrowed eyes. From behind the Los leader steps the Hybrid 2, still clearly defeated from the opening contest tonight but in street clothes.

[ Jack Evans ] <quietly> A’yo, Naito…

Naito looks up and arcs his Hiroshima Carp ball cap up to look Evans in the eye. Jack’s got a canvas scrape on his forehead from the gross Cross Rhodes and speaks.

[ Jack Evans ] <quietly> …end that bitch, bro. Show these clowns in Chicago what Los is all about, mayne.

Angélico nods solemnly and places a fist out for Naito, who pounds it before patting Evans on the elbow and nodding again.

[ Darío Cueto ] My friends…you have nothing to be shamed over…the hussy, the witch Brandi cost us our shot…and we shall be avenged. Not just tonight with Meester Naito, but when you two ravage the Rhodes family…and piss…on Daddy Dusty’s grave, ah ha ha ha ha!!

Naito looks up with narrowed, confused eyes and a scrunched face. Evans is far more into the idea of desecrating the grave of a wrestling legend and bro hugs Cueto aggressively, Angélico settling for a handshake before departing the hallway outside the Los locker room.

[ Darío Cueto ] Drive safely, Angélico…take care, friends… <Cueto watches them go> …Meester Naito…this is on your shoulders.

Naito does not reply and focuses solely on his wrist tape.

[ Darío Cueto ] I should not have to repeat myself here…but you…will…not…lose…tonight. I will do…whatever it takes…to bring Los Ingobernables the glory they deserve.

[ ??? ] Aye?

The United Center pops as PAC steps into frame, saddling up to Naito, his opponent for this evening. The two are locked on one another as Cueto chuckles to himself.

[ Darío Cueto ] Heh heh heh…’aye,’ indeed, my friend.

[ PAC ] Shut theh heyull up, Cueto. I’m not taukin’ to’yeh.

PAC glares back at Naito, who nods, not breaking his focused eye-lock with his opponent tonight.

[ PAC ] We’ll see…what typ’ah man…you ah…tonoight.

After a moment or two of tension, PAC looks to Cueto, who is grinning boldly, then back to Naito and turns to walk away. Cueto watches him go and turns back to Naito.

[ Darío Cueto ] …anyway…yes, my friend…tonight, is the night that you shall bring glory –

[ ??? ] Oy, dickhead.

The camera quickly cuts right to reveal none other than Zack Sabre Jr., a fresh signee to Solid Gold Wrestling! He’s wearing a simple navy blue suit with a white Oxford beneath it, no tie. A smirk is plastered on his pearly white teeth as he steps into frame and acknowledges Naito.

[ Zack Sabre Jr. ] Tonight, Noito, you’ve gotta match…against The Bahstahd. Best of luck, aye? But no matter which of you wins…neither of you has much longer to be considered for championship matches…for contention matches…for anything. The only man in Solid Gold Wrestling who can truly claim to be…the Best in all of Professional Wrestling…is Zed…Ess…Jay.

[ Darío Cueto ] …I’m so sorry, amigo, but I’m in the mi—

[ Zack Sabre Jr. ] AYE, DICKHEAD.

The crowd pops as ZSJ throws a hand up, stopping Cueto in his tracks. The Technical Wizard has no interest in his words and refocuses on Naito, who is standing with a smirk on his own face to match Sabre’s.

[ Zack Sabre Jr. ] Win or lose…it all changes tonoight. Best of Luck, ya smug prick.

ZSJ gives a half-hearted peace sign to Cueto and removes himself from the scene before Cueto rolls his eyes and rubs his temples vigorously before speaking, still facing the ground, annoyed.

[ Darío Cueto ] <frustrated> Tonight, Meester Naito, you will bring glory back to the premiere group in Solid Gold Wre—

[ ??? ] ‘Ow thoughtful of yeh, Darío!

[ Darío Cueto ] SON OF A BITCH! IS THIS THE ONLY CORRIDOR IN THE DAMN BUILDING?!

Before the Chicago crowd erupts in joy at Cueto’s dismay and frustration, they do so at the sight of the approaching Finn Balór, flanked by none other than Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, who we haven’t seen in months. Balór’s wearing a lovely burgundy suit with a forrest green Oxford, quite the Christmas visual, and speaks calmly.

[ Finn Balór ] Ah, so sorry, mah friend…Ah just he’hd you speakin’ of the premieah group in SGW…and that’s cleahly…the Club.

The fans pop as Balor crosses his arms with the ‘Too Sweet’ gesture and connects with Gallows and Anderson, who are smiling broadly.

[ Finn Balór ] Ah hate to interrupt yeh talk he’ah…but we’ah late and need to catch up to an old friend…so please, Mistah Cueto…tell meh…

Balór leans in and Darío, annoyed, does the same.

[ Finn Balór ] Wheah might aye find…A….J….Styoles?

The fans pop for his name as Gallows and Anderson snarl, practically chomping at the bit to get to their former employer as Balór remains cool, calm, and collected in the front.

[ Darío Cueto ] I…I do not know…I do not care, you see? I have already had the worst night of my career here and have no idea where the hillbilly flipmaster Styles is.

Naito throws up a hand to Cueto and looks deeply at Balór, then to Cueto.

[ Tetsuya Naito ] …not flips, Cueto-san….

Naito smirks and pries his eye open at his manager

[ Tetsuya Naito ] …planchas.

Naito smirks as Balor and the Club laugh. Cueto is beside himself and hangs his head in exhaustion at the situation. The Los leader turns back to Balór.

[ Tetsuya Naito ] …not booked tonight. Not here.

Balór nods in disappointment and pats his associates on the back.

[ Finn Balór ] Ah see…very good. Thank you lot…see you soon.

Balór, Gallows, and Anderson leave the corridor as Cueto looks up, red-faced and exasperated. Before he can speak, Naito holds a hand up.

[ Tetsuya Naito ] I know, Cueto-san….I know…

Cueto’s face returns to it’s usual color as Naito walks into the locker room. He shakes his head, frustrated, but smirks as we fade away.

We are rejoined with our commentary crew back at ringside as we prepare for our next match.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Well ladies and gentlemen, here we go. This is one of the most anticipated matches of the night right here. MJF and Drew Galloway taking on Tim Storm and Sin Cara!

[ Scott Steiner ] I HOPE THE GRIM REAPER COMES FOR OLD MAN STORM! SICK N’ TIRED OF WATCHIN’ SGDUBYA’S CHAMPIONSHIP COMMITTEE PUSH THIS GUY LIKE HE’S TALENTED! WHAT’S HE WON?!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Scott, he made it to the finals of the 12 Large Tournament!

[ Scott Steiner ] BIG DEAL! ASK MY FREAKS AND THEY’LL YOU THAT BIG POPPA PUMP’S BEEN 12 LARGE SINCE HE DAY HE POPPED OUTTA’ THE WOMB! FOUR-TIME SGDUBYA’ WORLD CHAMPION ON TOP OF THAT! WE AIN’T HANDIN’ OUT PARTICIPATION TROPHIES HERE! BUT IF WE’RE STARTIN’ THAT BULLSHIT, THEN PUT FUCKIN’ BRYAN DANIELSON IN THE HALL OF FAME!

MJF’s music hits and every fan in the arena gets to their feet and begins showering him with a chorus of boos. MJF soaks them all up, using them to strengthen him. He waits at the top of the ramp as Drew Galloway follows a few steps behind. In his hand is a microphone. Before he can even use it, the fans are chanting “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” at him. He overlooks the chant and only speaks louder than normal, drowning them out the best he can.

[ Maxwell Jacob Friedman ] Ladies and gentlemen, in case you are deaf, dumb, blind, stupid, and.. Since you’re in Chicago.. Poor.. My name is Maxwell Jacob Friedman. I am the fastest rising star in the history of this business. Behind me is my best friend and tag team partner, Drew Galloway-better-than-you! Together, we are going to be the two men responsible for ending the careers and lives of Sin Cara and that elderly piece of trash, Tim Storm!

The boos grow to the point you think the roof could come off the United Center.

[ Maxwell Jacob Friedman ] I saw the news, Michael Jordan is here! It’s about time the G.O.A.T. came back to Chicago, huh?

“MICHAEL JOR-DAN!” clap clap clapclapclap “MICHAEL JOR-DAN!”

[ Maxwell Jacob Friedman ] OH! Oh! You guys thought the greatest of all time was MJ?!? My bad. I forget. You guys are freakin’ mongoloids over here. Michael Jordan came to see the real G.O.A.T. who was kind enough to grace you disgusting bums with his presence.. ME! I’M THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME! When we win this match and I end Tim Storm’s career, I’m going to get in my limousine and have my driver get me the hell out of this town as quick as he can. Why? Because the best part of coming to Chicago…

MJF quickly points to the exit back up at the top of the ramp.

[ Maxwell Jacob Friedman ] IS LEAVING CHICAGOOOO!

He's so proud of himself, even lifting a middle finger in the air.

[ Maxwell Jacob Friedman ] Oh, I'm sorry, did my truth bombs hurt your feelings?! This place sucks and you know it!

The boos are drowning at this point. MJF gets hit with a box of popcorn, which he returns by spitting his gum in the general direction of where it came from. As he and Galloway enter the ring, he continues, looking straight into the camera.

[ Maxwell Jacob Friedman ] If anyone’s watching at home that’s offended by blood, guts, gore, and death, then turn the channel. Tim Storm’s going to hobble down this ramp with his walker in tow, being helped by his masked gardener, and he’s going to try to fight me.. And he’s going to get his other foot kicked in the grave once and for all. Myself and DG here, we deserve more on a pay-per-view than a match like this. So consider this our donation to charity. We’re giving these pricks what they wanted, their moment to shine in the spotlight in a big time match on pay-per-view.. But they’re going to regret it. Tim Storm, Sin Cara, be careful what you wish for.. Because Drew Galloway and myself, we’re better than you and.. YOU KNOW IT!

MJF drops the mic on the ring mat, creating an echoing thud upon impact. “Thunder Rolls” hits and the fans’ mood changes as they see Tim Storm and Sin Cara appear at the top of the ramp, looking ready for action. The two men high five and exchange words of support then began their walk to the ring.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Strong words coming from MJF, who is making his on-screen wrestling debut here tonight. This is the second time Sin Cara and Tim Storm have teamed, and this is the first time Galloway and MJF have teamed. That’s the potential X-factor in this match.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Correct you are, Tony. MJF and Drew Galloway have spent more time attacking and talking than they have wrestlin’ in rings thus far here in Solid Gold’s tenure. This match will be incredibly interestin’ in a variety ‘uv ways, I do believe.

Tim Storm and Sin Cara enter. Storm’s knee is heavily wrapped but you can’t mistake the focus and determination on his face. MJF is so nonchalant on the opposite side of the ring as Galloway looks ready as well. The bell sounds and we start out with Tim Storm and Maxwell Jacob Friedman.

Referee - Paul Turner | Time Limit - 30:00

Both men step to the center of the ring, the crowd going wild for the initial lock-up of this one. MJF spits in Storm’s face and darts to his corner and tags Galloway, exiting the ring in the process. The fans are booing relentlessly as Storm wipes the wad of spit from his face.

[ Tony Schiavone ] THE DISRESPECT FROM MJF!

Galloway towers over Storm and gives him a big shove. Storm responds with a boot to the gut and a snap suplex on the big man! Storm mounts Galloway and delivers a series of lefts and rights, one after another with Galloway shielding himself the best he can. Storm then picks Galloway up by the hair and smashes his face into the turnbuckle. Taking a few steps back, Storm runs at Galloway and eats a big boot! Following up, Galloway charges and hits another kick to the side of Storm’s head, sending him back down to the ground. Galloway boots Storm’s head every time he attempts to get back up, mocking him the entire time. MJF tags himself in and slides to the mat and applies a headlock, screaming in Storm’s ear the entire time.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Look at MJF taking the easy way out!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] You cannot say MJF doesn’t have a plan!

Bringing Storm back up while still in the headlock, MJF maneuvers back to his corner and tags Galloway. The series of quick tags continues on with MJF and Galloway going back and forth, double teaming Storm while Sin Cara is pleading for a tag on the other corner of the ring. CLAYMORE KICK! Storm is out cold but Galloway will not go for the pin. MJF slaps Galloway on the back, which takes him off guard. MJF looks Galloway in the face and tells him, “This is MY moment!”

[ Scott Steiner ] LOOK AT ‘EM! MJF WANTS TO PIN THAT OLD MAN AND SMELL LIKE BEN GAY!

MJF makes a circle around a helpless Tim Storm and waves goodbye. STORM ROLLS MJF UP IN A SMALL PACKAGE! ONE, TWO, KICK OUT! MJF springs up and eats a clothesline from Storm! And another! Galloway comes in and Storm ducks a boot, bounces off the ropes, FLYING CLOTHESLINE! Storm dives in his corner and makes the tag! Sin Cara goes up to the top and dives, but MJF pulls Galloway into the line of sight and moves out of the way to protect himself!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] MJF just sacrificed his partna’ for his own personal well being’!

MJF dives out of the ring even though he’s the legal man, allowing Galloway to have to fight off Sin Cara’s lightning fast attacks. Sin Cara attempts and Asai DDT but Galloway’s strength becomes a factor and uses it to throw Sin Cara over the top, landing hard on the outside! MJF slides in and immediately tags Galloway. On the outside Galloway and MJF lay the boots to the fallen Sin Cara until Tim Storm takes chase on MJF around the ring! Galloway picks Sin Cara up and rams him back first into the ring post and then rolls him into the ring.

MJF slides into the ring with Storm right behind him, CLAYMORE KICK ON TIM STORM! MJF tosses Storm out of the ring and turns around and eats a springboard hurricanrana that sends HIM out of the ring!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The tables have turned on MJF! What a move from Sin Cara!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Let’s see if Sin Cara can finish this thing off!

Galloway scoops Sin Cara up for a fallaway slam, but Sin Cara positions himself over Galloway’s head, pushes off and HITS A CODE RED ON THE BIG MAN! One, two, no! 2.999 on the pin attempt! Sin Cara keeps it going with his lightning fast offense, pecking away at Galloway. A shotgun drop kick sends Galloway staggering back into his corner, accidentally tagging MJF in the process! MJF comes in and swings and misses with a clothesline and eats a hurricanrana for his troubles! Tim Storm takes the tag and the place erupts!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Here we go! Tim Storm is finally going to get his hands on MJF!

MJF realizes what’s happened and tries begging off and tagging, but notices Galloway is still on the outside trying to recover. Tim Storm punches MJF right in the face! MJF tries to escape but Tim Storm catches him by the back of the tights, almost flashing the audience in the process! Atomic Drop! Back drop! The old school flurry has MJF reeling and begging for mercy. Storm whips MJF into the corner and begins the ten punch routine with the fans counting each one of them with great enthusiasm.

Four!

Five!

Six!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It’s not a flashy offense but it’s workin’!

Seven!

Eight!

Nine!

TEN!

MJF staggers out of the corner with weak legs, but here’s Drew Galloway! HE MISSES THE CLAYMORE KICK AND HITS MJF INSTEAD! THE CROWD ROARS! Sin Cara jumps and hurricanrana’s both him and Galloway over the top rope. MJF spins around..

[ Tony Schiavone ] PERFECT STORM!

Tim Storm plants MJF hard against the ground with the Perfect Storm and covers MJF. One.. two.. Three! Tim Storm and Sin Cara have won thanks to Drew Galloway’s errant kick!

WINNERS - Tim Storm & Sin Cara via Pin Fall in 13:22

As Sin Cara and Tim Storm celebrate to the roaring of the fans, MJF rolls to the corner and uses the ropes to pull himself up. Drew Galloway slides into the ring from the outside as the winners exit and walk up the ramp, slapping hands with the fans as they work their way up. Sin Cara is fired up as Storm looks relieved, finally getting the monkey of MJF off of his back.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Drew Galloway cost MJF the match and it’s only fittin’! This team has come full circle, Tony!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It all started with MJF costing Drew Galloway a match against Tim Storm, and now the roles have been reversed!

We get a shot of Tim Storm and Sin Cara atop the ramp with their arms in the air one final time. Back in the ring, we see MJF fuming as Galloway tries explaining what happened. MJF spits in Galloway’s face!

[ Scott Steiner ] THE BIG MOUTH’S FUCKED UP NOW! LOOK AT ‘EM, LITTLE MIDGET STANDIN’ THERE TRYING TO ACT LIKE A BAD ASS ON A MAN WHO IS MORE SUPERIOR GENETICALLY THAN HE’LL EVER BE!

“This is ALL.. YOUR.. FAULT!” MJF, size difference be damned, gets right in Drew Galloway’s face and begins screaming at the top of his lungs, shoving his finger in Galloway’s face. As Galloway swats his hand away, MJF immediately comes back, shoving the finger even deeper in Galloway’s face than before.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I am not a betting man, but I’m willin’ ta’ waga’ this reaction from MJF not endin’ very well!

MJF SLAPS GALLOWAY! In unison, the fans release an “OoOoOooooo!” Galloway slowly moves his head back and stares MJF down with a deadpan expression on his face.

“YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP! YOU FUCKED UP!”

[ Tony Schiavone ] I have to agree with the fans of Chicago!

Galloway grabs MJF by the throat with a grip so tight that his knuckles turn white. MJF’s eyes begin to bug out of his head! HEADBUTT FROM GALLOWAY! MJF staggers back, clutching his nose. CLAYMORE KICK! Galloway picks MJF up off the mat, ANOTHER CLAYMORE KICK! Without giving him a second to breathe, Galloway stomps MJF right in the face and scoops him back up off the mat. Fallaway slam! He picks MJF up again, brainbuster! Galloway is on the mat with MJF and begins sending rapid fire knee strikes to MJF’s face, neck, and chest to the crowd’s delight! MJF has blood flowing from his nose and an open wound on his hairline. Road agents hit the scene and it takes ALL of them to drag Galloway off of his helpless former partner. Galloway is a monster!

EMT’s enter the ring now that Galloway has been subdued and two more EMTs emerge from the top of the ramp, pushing a stretcher to the ring.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ladies and gentlemen, this is not part of the show. This is real life. Maxwell Jacob Friedman is in a serious shape right now inside the ring, being tended to by our medical staff. Drew Galloway reached his boiling point with MJF and snapped right in front of our eyes!

MJF is loaded up on the stretcher with his neck stabilized and his arms fully restrained. The EMTs begin pushing him away from the ringside area as a hush falls upon the audience.

[ Scott Steiner ] MORAL OF THE STORY - YOU’D BETTER NOT TALK SHIT UNLESS YOU’RE ABLE TO BACK IT UP! THAT’S WHY I’VE BEEN SPEAKING TRUTH INTO THE MICROPHONE FOR TWENTY YEARS AND THERE AIN’T BEEN A GODDAMN FOOL STEP UP TO BIG POPPA PUMP, ‘CAUSE I’M THE BADDEST MAN ON THE PLANET AND I’LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE IF YOU TRY TO DISCREDIT ME! NOT ONLY AM I THE GREATEST SGW WORLD CHAMPION OF ALL DAMN TIME, I’M ALSO THE MOST HONEST MOTHER FUCKER IN THE WORLD! HOLLER!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Scotty, no. Just no. Not right now.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Folks, we’ll send Cathy Kelley to try to get an update on MJF and if we find out any new information, you’ll be the first to know. Drew Galloway has seemingly done more than just end this partnership, he's nearly killed Maxwell Jacob Friedman in the process!

EMTs and MJF disappear behind the entrance stage as the scene cuts.

A celebration is ongoing in the locker room of the Brotherhood, fresh off capturing the SGW World Tag Team Championships. We see Brandi observing Cody and Dustin, still in their ring gear, in the middle of a tight embrace. It’s a solemn moment for the brothers. A few more seconds pass and they break apart, each looking down at their newly won title belts.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] We did it, brother. We really did it.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Hell yeah, we did!

[ Dustin Rhodes ] If you think about it, you’ve probably had one of the greatest one month runs in SGW history! Two belts in three shows!

Brandi rolls her eyes as Cody agrees with Dustin’s statement. How could he not? Cody wipes the sweat out of his face as Dustin continues.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] I know it’s not the Elevation title, but this right here, this is the start of something new. I can feel it.

Cody smirks. He’s conflicted in the bittersweet moment.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Yeah, don’t worry though, Jimmy Havoc is going to get his soon enough. But for now, this right here is where it’s at!

[ Dustin Rhodes ] No regrets?

[ Cody Rhodes ] Not one.

Cody turns and looks to Brandi for reassurance.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Right, Brandi?

It kills her to say it.

[ Brandi Rhodes ] None. Congratulations for finally winning a match, Dustin.

It’s a cold response but Dustin takes it in stride. He’s just won his first title in SGW and nothing can ruin this moment for him.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] Tonight is for celebrating, but tomorrow, the work begins, Code. This division is stacked and we’re gonna’ have our work cut out for us.

Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi enter the room and immediately approach Dustin and Cody with congratulatory handshakes and hugs. Brandi looks like she’s having the worst night of her life. All she wanted was Cody to reign as a singles star, but yet, here she is, in a room where the attention isn’t on a singular person. She does her best to hide it but fails.

[ Kenny Omega ] Congratulations, guys! Hell of a match out there too. Those titles are in good hands!

[ Cody Rhodes ] Appreciate that, Kenny. Hopefully one day us four can cross paths.

[ Kenny Omega ] Only if we deserve it. This isn’t about title shots tonight, this is about celebrating two of my dear friends’ great success!

“The Elite!”
“The.. The.. Elite!”

Matt and Nick Jackson stroll into the room with Brandon Cutler filming them on a handheld camera. They take a look at the place and Matt sticks out his hand for Cody, who immediately takes it. Nick notices a bottle of champagne on ice and makes his way towards it as Brandi tries stopping him.

[ Brandi Rhodes ] What do you think you’re doing? That is a $200 bottle of Dom!

[ Nick Jackson ] It’s a celebration! Nobody drinks champagne!

[ Brandi Rhodes ] They do. They really, really do…

Nick begins shaking the bottle like a mad man for ten seconds as Brandi is begging him not to do it. POP! Nick pops the cork on the bottle and the contents explode everywhere! Nick sprays the champagne all over Brandi, soaking her, and then turns it on Dustin and Cody. When the mess is made, Nick hands the bottle to Kota.

[ Nick Jackson ] Here. Drink.

[ Kota Ibushi ] ...Nothing left.

Brandi, covered in champagne, storms out of the room and slams the door so hard it shakes the lockers on either side.

[ Matt Jackson ] So… That was awkward.

Cody brushes it off.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Ah, she’s going through some things.

Kota whispers into Kenny’s ear and Kenny shakes his head in disgust.

[ Kenny Omega ] Kota! No! It cannot be that!

[ Kota Ibushi ] Period.

Dead silence overtakes the room. Nothing is more uncomfortable for a group of men to discuss than a female’s body.

[ Matt Jackson ] Okay, I was wrong.. THAT was awkward.

Matt motions to Nick, who walks over to him. The Young Bucks walk over to Cody and Dustin and look down at the belts and then look the Rhodes brothers in the eyes.

[ Matt Jackson ] And now, to make things even more awkward.. Congratulations…

[ Nick Jackson ] But we want those belts.

Omega and Ibushi look on as Matt and Nick hold up “Too Sweet” hand poses.

[ Matt Jackson ] Now.. to make it official, Cody.. Dustin.. TOO SWEET US FOR THE LOVE OF GODDDDD!!!

Matt’s hand begins trembling as he drastically oversells the moment and the power of the “Too Sweet.” Dustin looks over at Cody with a skeptical look on his face.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] Have you guys won a match yet?

Now Nick’s hand begins trembling. The power.. The force behind “Too Sweet” is just too much to hold back.

[ Matt Jackson ] FOR THE LOVE.. OF.. GOD!

Cody ends the charade.

[ Cody Rhodes ] No.

The air seeps out of the balloon.

[ Cody Rhodes ] Not right now anyway.

Matt and Nick’s hands drop in disappointment. Nick turns to the camera being held by Brandon Cutler and puts his hand over the lense.

[ Nick Jackson ] Cut it.

[ Matt Jackson ] What the hell, Cody? That was going to be a great segment on BTE.

Dustin, being a protective big brother, stands up for the decision.

[ Dustin Rhodes ] You heard ‘em. Earn the shot and then it’s yours.

[ Matt Jackson ] Real funny comin’ from a guy who can’t win without his brother. But alright.. Have it your way, guys.

Nick, Matt, and Brandon Cutler exit the room. Dustin slings his title belt down in his locker and flops down on a chair to begin unlacing his boots. Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi work their way to the exit.

[ Kenny Omega ] For what it’s worth, it really is great to see the Elite doing well in SGW. Congrats, guys.

Omega and Ibushi exit, leaving only the brothers Rhodes in the room with champagne residue all over their belongings. They won the titles, but all is certainly not well for the Grandsons of Plumbers. The scene fades to black.

From the tense glory of the Rhodes family to a stage bathed in red and white light, Holiday Hell rolls on in Chicago! “This Time’s for Real” blares over the speakers as the Los Ingobernables logo is on display on the GoldenTron; before long, Darío Cueto strolls through the curtain and waves out his charge for this sure-to-be-stellar contest.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This gentleman, Tetsuya Naito, has had a rough go of it in Solid Gold Wrestling and it all stems back…to his opponent tonight – the Bastard!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Say it again, best buddy – Tetsuya Naito emerged onto the scene in Solid Gold Wrestling with fanfare, excitement, enthusiasm and a loaded group of talent behind him – and slipped out of the starting blocks! PAC defeated Naito and kept him from entering the 12 Large Tournament – since then, Naito’s fallen in the Elevation Ladder Match and is now squaring off with the man who started this downward skid – the…erm…

[ Scott Steiner ] THE BASTARD!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Errr…yes…the…um…Bastard.

Naito emerges from the back onto the stage in a beautiful white entrance suit and metallic entrance mask, storming toward the ring with sheer determination written in his body language. He slides into the ring and rolls to the center, performs a few canvas angels in the non-existent snow, and tosses his mask to Cueto on the floor, who catches it effortlessly.

[ Scott Steiner ] How cool’d it have been if he’d clocked that Zorro-lookin’ clown in the head with that mask?

Before anyone can respond, the arena lights fall to black and the stage lights are a mix of gray and purple. “Boom Boom Tap” is playing through the PA in the United Center and a strong mixed reaction for Naito carries over into an equivalent response for the Bastard, who steps out onto the stage with malice in his eyes.

[ Scott Steiner ] Damn, this midget is somehow even MORE stacked than before! What a job he’s done in the gym!

[ Tony Schiavone ] His musculature aside, PAC is a BAD PERSON! He’s not nice at ALL!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] How do you mean, Tony?

[ Tony Schiavone ] I saw him sneer and spit into a tin of cookies my wife baked for the wrestlers today in catering! How is that a man to be cheered for?!

[ Scott Steiner ] THOSE COOKIES WERE BULLSHIT – AND TELL YOUR WIFE I SAID HI!

PAC slides into the ring and INSTANTLY goes nose-to-nose with Naito, who is smirking, but nowhere near as arrogant as before their previous encounter this year. Naito’s still wearing his suit as referee Rick Knox separates the two men into their corners and signals for the bell as “Boom Boom Tap” dies down suddenly.

Referee - Rick Knox | Time Limit - 30:00

Both men, laser-focused, dash straight ahead into action and begin throwing punches wildly, connecting with various strength as the Chicago crowd come unglued, roaring as Naito begins to take a bit of an advantage.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Both men, here, firmly in the center of the crowd’s scale of approval – neither man is necessarily the worst evildoer on the roster, and yet, neither is much too concerned with the feelings of this or any crowd in the world!

The Ungovernable Naito ducks a punch – then another! – and another! – before leaping up and clattering PAC with an enzuigiri, sending the Bastard to the floor and instantly popping up, running off the far-side ropes and smashing his opponent with a suicide dive! The United Center roar wildly as Naito stands tall, opening his eye with the “abre los ojós” taunt as the crowd chant his name.

[ Tony Schiavone ] It’s a hard thing to topple PAC with speed, but Naito has surely done it right here!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Too true, Tony! The Bastard’s forcing the issue, though!

PAC is fighting from below, clubbing Naito in the breadbasket and connecting with a rising knee strike before sliding into the ring and dead-sprinting towards the far-side ropes himself!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] HOW’S THIS FOR FORCING THE ISSSUUUEEEE?!

PAC SCORES WITH A NO-HANDS SPACEMAN PLANCHA AND CHICAGO IS VOLCANIC!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] NO HANDS! NO HANDS ON THE SPACEMAN PLANCHA!!

PAC rises to his feet and pumps his fists, flexing his huge muscles and tossing Naito under the bottom rope before hopping to the apron and soaring in, smashing Naito with a springboard 450 Splash! COVER! One! Two! NO! KICKOUT only moments into the matchup!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Nearly it! Nearly over! What an incredible maneuver!

PAC is up, but Naito sort of hot-shots him into the middle rope agilely, finally getting an opportunity to take off his entrance jacket and shirt before choking the Bastard with the shirt! Referee Rick Knox begins counting the disqualification as Naito releases the clothing-choke and tosses it to Cueto. As Naito whips PAC off the ropes, he quickly rips off his pants and dropkicks PAC in one fluid motion, shaking his head and giving a playful punch to his own jaw before covering the Bastard for a one count.

[ Scott Steiner ] A bit too arrogant for a guy with such little definition! PAC’s gunna hit so hard with that hard-ass body! He better stop screwin’ around!

Naito does just that and wrenches on a hammerlock to the grounded Bastard, keeping his weight across his opponent’s back wisely as Cueto begins shouting at a nearby camera for stepping on his “expensive shoes!”

[ Tony Schiavone ] Dario! DARIO CUETO NEEDS TO BE MORE FOCUSED ON THIS MATCH THAN ON HIS SHOES!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tranquílo, Tony.

PAC uses his extreme flexibility to worm up from the mat and to his feet, throwing a back elbow with his free arm, but Naito ducks through it and scores HUGE with Gloría, dropping the Bastard right on his head! Before going for a cover, Naito scoots up the corner and flies with a tumbleweed, covering then for the one! Two! NO! PAC is up again!

Naito scowls, realizing he needs to take his offense up to another level in order to take the victory and lifts PAC by his long hair, throwing him into the ropes – Naito throws a clothesline – PAC ducks! – DEADSTOP! – PELE KICK!! PAC scores with the Pelé kick! Naito is dazed, but PAC doesn’t let him brew and simmer, smashing the back of his skull with a rolling koppo kick! Now on his knees, Naito is in perfect shape for PAC to run off the ropes and fly with a 450 splash – transitioned LAST SECOND INTO A DOUBLE STOMP TO THE BACK!! Naito is rocked and PAC is on fire, staring daggers at the downed Los leader as Chicago roars in approval!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] PAC! The Bastard’s on fire here!

[ Scott Steiner ] I KNOW THAT LOOK! IT’S NOT ‘ROID RAGE, EITHER, ASSHOLES!!

Cueto’s on the apron, though! Referee Rick Knox is over to him quickly, but PAC shoves him out of the way! Cueto calmly lifts both hands as PAC cocks his head to the side, listening intently – but Naito tosses PAC from out of the way and shoves Cueto from the apron! El Jéfe’s face is written with shock as Naito throws up a finger, pointing it toward his manager.

[ Tetsuya Naito ] NOT…LIKE…THAT.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] HOW IN THE WORLD CAN NAITO DO THIS?! DARIO COULD HAVE SEALED THE DEAL FOR HIM!

As Naito and Cueto stare one another down, PAC is on the prowl and CLAPS Naito with a huge half-nelson suplex, dumping him right on his skull!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] THAT IS WHY! THIS IS WHY, NAITO!

The Bastard is charging and flips, STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! No cover, but there’s a springboard moonsault! Again, though – NO COVER! Naito pops up, looking for anything at all – but PAC connects with a spiked hurricanrana, placing the Ungovernable One in PERFECT positioning for the final shot! PAC roars and flexes his muscles intensely as he leaps to the top turnbuckle with the quickness.

[ Scott Steiner ] HELL YEAH, JACKED MIDGET! FINISH IT!

PAC doesn’t take his time and leaps off the top with the corkscrew shooting star press – the BLACK ARROW – but Naito rolls inward! PAC pops up on impact and Naito quickly scoops him up with a school boy, rolling across his legs to add pressure – ONE! TWO! THREE!!!

WINNER - Tetsuya Naito via Pin Fall in 17:34

Naito immediately is kicked off of the Bastard’s legs and shot to the floor by Cueto’s feet, where he lands with a beaten smile on his face. Cueto’s expression is pure shock and a smile very slowly breaks across his mouth as the crowd loses it.

[ Tony Schiavone ] How in the world did Naito have the wherewithal to pull that victory off?!

[ Scott Steiner ] Wow…wow. The taco-sushi fusion team pulled it off… <sighs deeply> I gotta take a piss.

Steiner stands up, dropping his headset to the table as PAC’s mouth is agape in shock. Naito, now seated on the ramp with Cueto watching him from ringside, holds up a single finger on his left hand…then lifts another single finger on his right hand. A smile breaks across Naito’s face as he speaks.

[ Tetsuya Naito ] ONE…AND ONE!

The Bastard’s long, stringy hair falls in his face as he bows his head in disappointment, gripping either side of his head. Cueto is shown with a bemused smirk on his face as he walks up the ramp slowly, lifts Naito from his ass and pats him on the shoulder, Los Ingobernables leaving together.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What a turn of events! One has to wonder what the status of the relationship of Cueto and Naito is moving forwards – but right now it’s only celebration in the Los Ingobernables camp!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] True, Tony – and one must wonder, as well – just where does the Bastard go from here?!

A final shot of PAC’s narrowed, frustrated eyes is shown before we fade away to the back.

Exhausted.

Tim Storm appears on camera with a white towel thrown over his sweaty shoulders. He stands next to Cathy Kelly with beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, stopping at the top of his eyebrows.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Tim Storm, it took two months to finally get your hands on MJF and Drew Galloway but tonight you and Sin Cara did just that and more, defeating the two and even causing the team to implode right in front of our eyes afterwards!

Tim Storm nods, a look of relief and joy overcomes his face. There’s no way to hide it.

[ Tim Storm ] First off, Mama Storm… Merry Christmas! There’s your gift! I shut that big mouth up tonight!

You can’t hate a man who loves his mama.

[ Tim Storm ] Cathy, tonight is a good night. For two long months I’ve had an annoying thorn in my side, that, no matter how much I pulled and plucked, I just couldn’t get rid of it. MJF, son, you caused me a lot of problems. You banged my knee up and most likely cost me my chance at becoming SGW World Champion at 12 Large. You’ve run down every member of my family and wished ill upon myself numerous times.

Choosing his words carefully, Storm maintains composure.

[ Tim Storm ] Well, I just think you got what was coming to you tonight, son. It just goes to show, you can run around doin’ all the talking you wanna’ do, but there comes a time to back it up, and tonight, MJF, you just couldn’t do it. Your wrote a lot of checks that your backside couldn’t cash when it came down to it. Then, on top of that, you made a fatal decision upsettin’ the only man in this company who halfway liked you! I gotta’ say, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

A big smile comes across his face through the exhaustion and sweat.

[ Tim Storm ] The only way to take care of a bully is give him a dose of his own medicine. Instead of words, I used this fist. I hope the ol’ boy has good insurance because between me, Sin Cara, and Drew Galloway, he’s gonna’ need it!

[ Cathy Kelley ] What about the future? Where does Tim Storm go from here?

He takes a minute to ponder it. It’s something he’s probably not thought a lot about lately.

[ Tim Storm ] I thought this thing with MJF would never end, honestly. Now that that’s been put to rest, I think it’s time to return my focus back to unfinished business, Cathy. That SGW World Championship.

[ Bryan Danielson ] WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

Interrupting, Bryan Danielson walks into the scene, waving his hands, calling this whole thing off right in front of our eyes.

[ Bryan Danielson ] Why are we letting a grown man talk about making his mother proud for winning a fair fight when me, a man who beat The Rock, Triple H, CM Punk, and Okada BY HIMSELF gets no attention?

[ Cathy Kelley ] But Bryan, you had teammates..

Rage fills Danielson’ eyes as he huffs at Cathy, who instantly regrets her decision.

[ Bryan Danielson ] If you say another word, I’m going to punch you in the FACE!

Danielson balls his fist and rears back until Storm grabs it and slings it down.

[ Tim Storm ] Hey! What’s your problem?! That’s a woman doing her job!

[ Bryan Danielson ] I speak for the rest of the roster, Tim. Everyone is tired of you. You’re too old, too slow, too fat, and too lame to be in a ring belonging to Solid Gold Wrestling, okay? You got it? I don’t understand how you keep getting the good spots and the favors when you’ve done NOTHING in SGW thus far but live up to the reputation that followed you here.. BEING NOTHING BUT A WASHED UP, HAS-BEEN, NOBODY!

Storm is being a good sport and letting Danielson rant and rave, but you can tell his patience is running thin.

[ Bryan Danielson ] For two months, I’ve been shuffled around like some worthless slum while you’ve been a featured player. Every time SGW trusted you, you let.. Them.. down. Now, just because you won one match you’re ready to fight for the WORLD TITLE?! Give me a break! You wouldn’t have won that match had you not had a world-class athlete from Mexico to carry the load. Without his flips, you’d be nothing. Got it? NOTHING!

[ Tim Storm ] First off, I don’t like your attitude, Bryan.

He follows up.

[ Tim Storm ] Secondly, they’re not flips. They’re called “planchas.”

Danielson punches Tim Storm right in the throat! As Storm grips his throat, Danielson headbutts him and drops Storm to the ground. There, Danielson loses his mind and begins rapidly kicking him wherever he can find an opening. Cathy Kelley is panicked, looking around for some help to break this melee up.

[ Bryan Danielson ] I AM THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD! I AM NOT SOME PRE-SHOW ACT!

Danielson continues his assault until.. ADAM COLE.. hits the scene and breaks it up. Danielson looks like he’s seen a ghost once he realizes who it was who broke things up. Out of breath, Danielson confronts Cole.

[ Bryan Danielson ] Oh, you want to finish what I started at 12 Large huh?

[ Adam Cole ] I haven’t forgotten about you.

Security is finally arriving and snatches Danielson up by the arms, doing their best to drag him away as Cole looks on. Danielson is resisting the best he can.

[ Adam Cole ] Things between you and I, they’re only just beginning, Danielson..

[ Bryan Danielson ] YOU’D BETTER NOT STICK YOUR NOSE IN MY BUSINESS AGAIN, COLE! YOU HEAR ME?! I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD!

The continue dragging Danielson away.

[ Bryan Danielson ] I’M THE BEST!

He continues pleading his case as he is almost out of sight from the camera. Storm raises his hand, looking for assistance in getting back to his feet. Cole scoffs at the sight.

[ Adam Cole ] Get up on your own, old man. That right there, that wasn’t me helping you. Realize that.

Cole obnoxiously steps over the fallen Storm as the scene fades.

The fans are still offering up a solid mixed reaction as we return to the ringside area for our next match. The camera pants around the arena for a moment before settling on a shot of the entranceway. "I Feel Alive" hits and the fans erupt in boos as Jamie Hayter emerges from the back first, giving herself a round of applause and cupping her ear, welcoming the jeers of the crowd! AZM staggers out from the back as though she were violently thrown forward and catches herself before she actually tumbles. She looks furious, her scowl telling the entire story. Bea Priestley walks out behind her, holding her arms out to the side with an arrogant smile on her face. AZM rubs the back of her head with one eye shut as Priestley walks up and stands alongside her. Hayter looks at AZM with disgust and shakes her head.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is a match that's received an unexpected amount of hype heading into Holiday Hell, gentlemen! After a star making performance by all four ladies at Fight to the Finish, Bea Priestley, Jamie Hayter, Candy Floss, and Kris Statlander are looking to make it two for two in excitement! With AZM and Nurse Ratchet added to the mix, I don't think that will be a problem!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What's we're witnessing right now is the beginning of quite the unusual partnership. This unit that Bea Priestley has dubbed Onikage-gun... we thought Bea Priestley and Jamie Hayta' were a couple o' lone wolves, lookin' out only for themselves but now that they've recruited AZM as kind of a... I don't know, little sista' perhaps, we're bound to see a brand new dynamic t' these abrasive ladies!

Before the members of Onikage-gun can begin making their way down the ramp, Starlight Kid emerges from the back to a huge pop and waves at the fans with a big smile on her face... however, Jamie Hayter springs right into action, mobbing up on her and getting down in her face, screaming at her and pointing toward the backstage area! Starlight looks genuinely hurt and the fans collectively "AWWWWWW" as Starlight bows her head and slinks to the back while Hayter shakes her head in disgust.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh come on! She just wants to have fun!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I don't think ya' have t' look too hard at Jamie Hayta' 'n Bea Priestley to know that fun is pretty far down the list of their priorities! Hayta' 'n Priestley took the fight to Statlanda' 'n Candy Floss at Fight t' the Finish... threw everything at them but the kitchen sink and it was their ruthless killa' instinct that gave them the edge! They don't want Starlight Kid muddyin' the waters!

Priestley, AZM, and Hayter make their way down to the ring and, as they get closer, the camera cuts away to the front row where we see Dakota Kai and Tegan Nox standing and watching the show! They notice the camera on them and turn to face it, waving and smiling at the fans at home!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What a delightful surprise! Dakota Kai and Tegan Nox!

[ Tony Schiavone ] TEAM KICK IS HERE!

Priestley, Hayter, and AZM make a lap around the ring and Hayter stops in front of Team Kick to antagonize them, pulling her fist back like she's going to throw a punch but kicking the guardrail instead before moving along. Dakota and Tegan both look annoyed by this but then AZM walks past them, stopping to take a look and declaring them both "UGLY GRANDMAS WHO WILL DIE OF OLD AGE" before they even debut! Their jaws land firmly on the floor and they sit back down, offended.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Expert level of disrespect from AZM!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] She might want to be careful whom she makes enemies of, Tony! Eva' since Jamie Hayta' 'n Bea Priestley have arrived on the scene, they've mentioned instating a women's tag team division... now we have Team Kick 'ere and I don't think that's a bloody coincidence!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It sounds like someone might be listening!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Indeed! Trish Stratus is big on listening t' the fans 'n givin'em what they want! If the demand is there for women's tag team titles, she will make it happen! And if it happens, Jamie Hayta' 'n Bea Priestley will not want to cross Team Kick!

Once all three members of Onikage-gun have made it inside the ring, the lights dim and "How Deep is your Love" by The Bee Gees hits and the fans blow the roof off the place! Kris Statlander emerges from the back and looks around at her surroundings quizzically. She walks to the edge of the stage and remains there for a moment as her theme continues playing. The fans are cheering loudly!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The Galaxy's Greatest Alien is here!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What an impressive athlete, she is! I don't know what the culture is like on whateva' planet she comes from but I have t' believe that she's lookin' for payback afta' what happened at Fight t' the Finish!

"Saturday Sleepover" hits and the fans blow the roof off! Candy Floss explodes from the back, clutching a giant candy cane and hugging it closely to her chest with a huge smile on her face! She stands alongside Statlander at the edge of the ramp, practically vibrating with excitement. Statlander looks over at her, smiling curiously, and then allows her eyes to settle back on the ring.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Candy Floss, perhaps the most excitable new characta' t' come t' Solid Gold Wrestling! She made waves immediately when she made Scarlett Bordeaux tap out in her debut at Mile High Madness!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Ever since then, she's been on a quest to prove that she belongs here amongst the real athletes in the women's division! That's how this whole beef started, when she dared to stand up to Jamie Hayter at 12 Large, prompting Jamie's best friend, Bea Priestley to insert herself into the confrontation!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It didn't end well for Candy Floss, let me tell ya'... but luckily she found a friend in Kris Statlanda', even if she didn't exactly invite in the most idea partna' to help out t'night!

Suddenly, the lights dim and a strobe light begins pounding. A sense of dread fills the air. Candy looks at Statlander nervously and the fans begin to boo. Without warning, two of Dr. Cube's faceless minions emerge from the back, dragging a black body bag behind them. Kris Statlander nods her head with confidence that this was the right decision, though Candy Floss is clearly not sold. The minions drag the body bag past Statlander and Floss, dragging it about mid-way down the ramp and then unzipping it slightly before returning to the back without incident. Floss watches with wide eyes as the body bag begins to jerk and writhe. The opening rips downward and Nurse Ratchet sits up, drawing massive heat.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Nurse Ratchet is horrifying, Nigel... just horrifying.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This is... well, it's certainly gonna be interesting, fellas.

[ Scott Steiner ] FUCK... THIS! HOW DOES THIS BITCH HAVE A JOB AFTER WHAT SHE DID TO THAT BLUE HAIR BROAD WITH THE SYRINGE!? I FUCKIN' SAID IT ONCE, I'LL FUCKIN' SAY IT AGAIN! AIN'T NOBODY PAID TO SEE THAT GROSS SHIT!

Nurse Ratchet crawls out of the bag and then begins quickly and jerkily crawling the ring, dragging her legs behind her! Floss and Statlander look at one another and then Statlander redirects her gaze toward the ring before making her way down the ramp. Candy Floss remains behind for a moment before finally swallowing hard and following them down. Nurse Ratchet rises to her feet and shakily, clumsily walks up the ring steps and then almost falls down as she shambles through the ropes. Priestley, Hayter, and AZM look unimpressed by the living dead nurse as she stands in the middle of the ring and raises her gloved hands in the air. Statlander and Floss follow her inside with Statlander visibly marveling at the zombie nurse, clearly proud that she forced this alliance on Candy's behalf. Even as they all three stood in the corner, ready to compete, Candy could not look less sold on this partnership. With all six women good to go, Mike Chioda calls for the bell to start!

Referee - Mike Chioda | Time Limit - 30:00

The match begins with Candy Floss in the ring with Jamie Hayter. They circle one another and the fans are buzzing with anticipation, ready to see this one get underway. They collide in the middle of the ring, locking up and struggling for dominance before Hayter takes over with a knee lift and then grabs two handfuls of pink hair and slings Candy Floss backward, forcing her to land high on her shoulders and neck! Hayter descends on Floss, pummeling her with forearms to the head and chest before taking her by the ankle and dragging her back to the Onikage-gun corner. Hayter tags in Priestley, and Candy Floss sits up to get away but Priestley immediately boots her right in the face and then snatches her up effortlessly before driving her head first into the mat with a brain buster! Priestley goes for a cover but only gets two when Kris Statlander charges in and stomps Priestley in the back to break the pin! Statlander goes to return to her corner and Priestley rises to charge at her but Chioda gets between them and shoves Priestley back toward her corner!

[ Tony Schiavone ] It looks like this is getting heated early on!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Come on, Tony! This was heated before it got started! This is personal for Candy Floss! She's got somethin' t' prove and, after Fight t' the Finish, so does Kris Statlanda'! It's gonna be interesting t' see where AZM and Nurse Ratchet fall in this encounta'!

Priestley looks frustrated as she returns to her corner. Candy Floss is using the ropes to return to her feet and she turns around to face Priestley. Floss  goes to advance on her but AZM reaches over the top rope and grabs a handful of Candy Floss' hair! Candy spins around and drills AZM with a big forearm, knocking her off the apron, but that leaves her back turned and open for Bea Priestley to club her from behind and put the boots to her in the corner once again! Priestley kicks and stomps at Candy Floss until she falls into a seated position and then she places her boot right on her neck and leans back hard, choking her with everything she's got! Mike Chioda begins counting to five, demanding a break, and Bea finally lets up before turning around and stomping toward the center of the ring with her arms out, drawing intense heat from the fans in attendance! Hayter stands on the apron, applauding and cupping her ear, egging the fans on. Finally, Priestley turns around and charges at the corner but Candy Floss comes alive and crawls on all fours underneath Priestley's running boot! Priestley turns around to catch her but Floss is already scrambling to her feet and leaps to tag in Kris Statlander!

[ Tony Schiavone ] She did it! She got the tag!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This match is about t' become OUT O' THIS WORLD, gentlemen!

Kris Statlander charges into the ring like a house afire and ducks a clothesline from Bea Priestley! Priestley turns around and eats a PELE KICK from Statlander! Priestley goes down and rolls out of the ring! Jamie Hayter hits the ring and runs at Statlander but Statlander executes a picture perfect CARTWHEEL EVASION! She cartwheels all around Jamie Hayter before finally stopping right in front of her... and BOOPING HER ON THE NOSE! Hayter looks furious and takes a big swing at Statlander but Statlander ducks it and runs behind her... Hayter doesn't take her eyes off Statlander and it costs her as Candy Floss comes out of nowhere with a SPEAR on Hayter! Hayter goes down hard and rolls out of the ring! Statlander, still running, hits the ropes and FLIES THROUGH THE ROPES! SUICIDE DIVE ON HAYTER AND PRIESTLEY! SHE WIPED THEM BOTH OUT!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Someone call the bloody military, we've got an unidentified flying object on our hands!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Good one, best buddy!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I thought it was pretty witty m'self, yeah?

[ Scott Steiner ] Let's not go suckin' each other's dicks yet, god dammit! We got a match goin' on!

Statlander returns to her feet, all fired up! The fans are cheering but those cheers quickly turn to gasps and boos as AZM FLIES FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR, WIPING OUT STATLANDER WITH A FLYING CROSS BODY! AZM gets back to her feet and stands over Statlander with an arrogant look on her face. She takes Statlander by either side of her head and guides her back to her feet before rolling her under the bottom rope. AZM goes to follows her in but Priestley gets up behind her and shoves her back against the guardrail, causing AZM to grab her lower back in pain. Priestley just shakes her and follows Statlander inside... only for Statlander to immediately tag in Nurse Ratchet! The fans pop huge as Ratchet climbs into the ring, glaring at Priestley! Priestley looks rattled and begins looking around her surroundings, looking for someone to tag but Hayter and AZM are both down on the floor!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] IT'S TIME T' PAY THE BLOODY PIPA', MISS PRIESTLEY!

[ Scott Steiner ] GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE 'FORE SHE STICKS YOUR ASS!

Priestley shakes whatever feeling she had going on and sneers before jumping in head first by NAILING Ratchet with a roundhouse kick to the head! Ratchet staggers backward into the ropes and Priestley charges in... BICYCLE KNEE TO THE HEAD! Ratchet goes down to one knee against the middle rope and Priestley comes in hot again... WITH A SECOND BICYCLE KNEE TO THE HEAD! Priestley turns and throws her arms out to the side before knocking the dirt off her shoulder. She turns around... only to find Nurse Ratchet is standing back up, unfazed! Priestley looks confused... but Jamie Hayter grabs Ratchet by her ankles from the floor and trips her before dragging her to the outside! AZM and Hayter begin slugging away at Nurse Ratchet, not allowing her to get the advantage for a moment! They beat Ratchet down to her knees and then all fours... before Nurse Ratchet rises back up like a horror movie monster, throwing Hayter and AZM off of her like the Incredible Hulk! The fans can't help but pop huge as Ratchet snatches AZM up by her throat and rag dolls her over the rail and into the second row! Ratchet grabs Hayter by her hair and slings her under the bottom rope, back into the ring! Ratchet climbs onto the apron to follow her in but as she goes to step through the ropes, Priestley catches her coming in with a RUNNING YAKUZA KICK TO THE HEAD! Ratchet goes limp and dangles over the middle rope, allowing Priestley to climb the ropes and fly... FLYING DOUBLE STOMP TO THE BACK OF RATCHET'S HEAD!

[ Tony Schiavone ] That's got to be it! Bea Priestley is RUTHLESS!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That why she's the monster, Tony!

Ratchet tumbles into the ring and Bea covers her! One! Two! RATCHET KICKS OUT WITH FORCE! Bea Priestley looks like she can't believe it! Priestley pulls at her hair and then gets up. Hayter, already in the ring, joins her and they both force Ratchet back to her feet. They deliver a double suplex and then Hayter points at the top rope. Priestley nods and begins her ascent. Hayter hoists up Ratchet and delivers a back breaker, holding Ratchet in place on her knee. Priestley perches on the top rope and the flies... FLYING DOUBLE STOMP! Ratchet rolls off of Hayter's knee and BEA DOUBLE STOMPS HAYTER'S LEG! Jamie Hayter freaks out and rolls out of the ring, clutching her thigh! Priestley can't believe it but before she can do anything else, she turns around into the ICY GRIP OF NURSE RATCHET! Priestley palms Ratchet's face and claws her eyes but Ratchet completely no-sells it! Priestley forces Ratchet back against the ropes where Candy Floss makes a blind tag! Ratches calms Priestley down with a knee to the mid-section! Ratchet takes Priestley by the wrist and ascends the ropes... SHE WALKS THE ROPES AND LEAPS, NAILING PRIESTLEY WITH A CLUBBING BLOW FROM THE TOP!

[ Scott Steiner ] DID THAT DISGUSTING, ROTTEN FREAK JUST WALK THE ROPES IN HEELS!?

Candy Floss enters the ring and Mike Chioda forces Nurse Ratchet out! Nurse Ratchet looks out of control, not finished dealing out the suffering she promised earlier in the week! Floss grabs two handfuls of Bea's hair and pulls her up to her knees but Jamie Hayter rolls back into the ring, limping badly, and nails Floss in the back with a forearm! Nurse Ratchet is still raising hell, jerking shakily and refusing to get out of the ring, distracting Chioda! AZM is on the outside, watching as they go to work! Hayter and Bea double team Candy Floss, pummeling away at her! Bea goes to whip Floss into the ropes but Floss reverses the Irish whip, sending Bea into the ropes! AZM isn't paying attention... and TRIPS BEA PRIESTLEY INSTEAD OF CANDY FLOSS! AZM looks shocked! Bea is enraged and points at AZM, promising violence! Hayter kicks Floss in the gut to cut her off and goes for a PILEDRIVER but KRIS STATLANDER COMES FROM NOWHERE WITH A SPRINGBOARD SHOTGUN DROP KICK! Hayter goes flying and rolls out of the ring! Priestley charges in with a wild clothesline but Statlander ducks it! Priestley turns around... AND STATLANDER BOOPS HER ON THE NOSE! Priestley shakes her head, not believing that just happened and-- GETS SNATCHED DOWN TO THE MAT IN THE CANDY CANE!

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO WAY! NO WAY! IS THIS HAPPENING!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I don't believe it! I don't bloody believe it! TURN AROUND, CHIODA!

Chioda finally gets Nurse Ratchet on the apron and spins around! AZM attempts to slide under the bottom rope but Kris Statlander cuts her off and Bea Priestley has no choice but to tap out! Bea Priestley tapped out!

WINNERS - Candy Floss, Kris Statlander, & Nurse Ratchet via Submission in 9:16

The fans pop huge and Candy Floss immediately releases the hold and rolls out of the ring where Kris Statlander is waiting! Candy Floss almost knocks Statlander down as she leaps into her arms! Nurse Ratchet tilts her head to the side, looking confused, but follows them out of the ring, walking awkwardly and shaking violently.

[ Tony Schiavone ] She did it, folks! Candy Floss has vanquished the women who have tormented her since 12 Large! And she did it in convincing fashion!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] There's no doubt about that, Tony! What... a... win!

Once Statlander, Floss, and Ratchet have vanished behind the curtain, their music cuts off and we're left with an uncomfortable silence. Jamie Hayter is in the ring, checking on Bea Priestley who is favoring her shoulder. AZM climbs into the ring timidly, knowing that she's messed up badly. Hayter helps Priestley to her feet and AZM approaches, muttering things in Japanese which sound sympathetic, apologies perhaps. But we never find out as Bea aggressively shoves Hayter off of her and kicks AZM right in the face!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH COME ON! SHE'S A KID!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Get security out 'ere before this goes any further!

[ Scott Steiner ] YOU KNOW WHAT THEY FUCKIN' SAY, BOYS! IF A KID PUTS ITSELF IN A GROWN ASS MAN'S PLACE, YOU GET BEAT DOWN LIKE A GROWN ASS MAN!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] No one has ever said that, Scott!

[ Scott Steiner ] I don't know what you're talkin' about! I say it all the god damn time!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Wait, what-- WHY?!

Priestley mounts AZM and begins raining down punches! Hayter joins in, trying to pry AZM's arms apart, keeping her from covering up to protect herself! The fans are literally throwing garbage in the ring! Finally, there's a huge pop as Starlight Kid explodes from the back and slides into the ring! She delivers a basement dropkick to Bea Priestley's back! Priestley goes sprawling forward but Hayter cuts Starlight off as soon as she stands with a running LARIAT, turning her inside out! AZM scrambles to all fours but Priestley cuts her off with a kick to the ribs and mounts her again! Jamie Hayter slings Starlight Kid into the corner and backs up on her, keeping her in place so she can't help her friend! The fans continue booing, louder and louder, as there's no hope for AZM and Starlight in this situation!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Seriously, we're just gonna let this happen!? Where's Corino? Storm!? Security!?

Suddenly, the fans blow the roof off the place as DAKOTA KAI and TEGAN NOX hop the rail and slide into the ring! Hayter and Priestley immediately roll out of the ring and begin backing up the ramp, seething mad! Priestley is favoring her shoulder and Hayter still has a limp as they back up the ramp like a couple of wounded hyenas. Dakota Kai and Tegan Nox begin checking on AZM and Starlight Kid with genuine looks of concern on their faces.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Team Kick has arrived on the scene!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Well, thank Christ somebody did!

Tegan Nox and Dakota Kai help AZM and Starlight up to their feet and the fans applaud their efforts as we fade out and return to the backstage area.

As the show continues on, darkness overtakes the screen. We see an outline of a figure based on what light that there is available in the area. Whoever the individual is has long hair and a stocky build.

“The chains are gone.”

The Scottish accent immediately gives it away.

“I took a loss tonight b’cause of you. I’ve not had the opportunities b’cause of you.”

Movement allows the small glimmer of light expose the identity of Drew Galloway. His long hair draped over his face. There’s anger and frustration in his tone.. But yet, relief?

[ Drew Galloway ] Until Fight to the Finish, I hadn’t had a match since the very first show. I didn’t get a second-chance to be in 12 Large.. I wasn’t given a shot at the Elevation title.. An’ why’s that? B’cause a’ MJF. He spent the winta’ hoggin’ the spotlight and tryin’a kill off Tim Storm instead of makin’ this partnership into something.

A brief pause. Wherever Galloway is inside the arena, his words quietly echo.

[ Drew Galloway ] I should’ve known better. An’ that’s on me. MJF, this little “partnership” that we’ve had was more of a one-sided affair and I jus’ didn’t realize it. I should’ve ripped his bloody head off as soon as I had the opportunity at Revenge for costin’ me that match against Tim Storm! Had I just done it then, all o’ this wouldn’t have been an issue.

A little more light creeps in, allowing us to see Galloway more clearly staring into the camera.

[ Drew Galloway ] I’ve wasted two months in SGW and don’t have a damn thing ta’ show for it! That ends right here, right now. Come 2020, the new year, Drew Galloway is comin’ for all of the gold in this company! Randy Orton, Jimmy Havoc, hell, even the Tag Champions! I'll fight 'em all to prove that I am more than simply someone who's kept 'round to do the dirty work.

Pause.

[ Drew Galloway ] SGW, you've officially been put on notice. I'm comin' for the top of this company.. That is.. After I finish you, MJF. What’s left of ye’ anyway.

The scene fades to black.

As the match ends, we transition immediately backstage where Killer Kross and Dr. Stevie Richards are standing by. The camera zooms in, giving us a nice, tight shot of the two newcomers to SGW.

[ Killer Kross ] Solid Gold Wrestling. I hope you’ve enjoyed the holidays. I hope you got everything you wanted for Christmas, but the time for fun and games are over.

[ Dr. Stevie ] What my patient is trying to explain is that, SGW, playtime is over. As we leave 2019 behind this evening and turn to the first events on 2020, it does not come without warning.

Kross nods as Stevie continues.

[ Dr. Stevie ] The rehabilitation of Killer Kross is ahead of schedule.

An evil smile comes across Stevie’s face.

[ Dr. Stevie ] And SGW, you will never be the same come 2020 when I unleash this man on your roster.

[ Killer Kross ] I want ‘em all! Randy Orton! PAC! Tim Storm! Bring them all to me…

Out of nowhere, Warhorse enters the scene, drawing the immediate ire of Dr. Stevie, who has to hold Killer Kross back.

[ Warhorse ] WHOA! THIS PLACE IS METAL AS FUCK!

The Rock and Nia Jax come busting up into the scene. The Rock was literally just seen on camera minutes before. At this point, it’s safe to assume he’s just wandering the hallways aimlessly.

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK NEEDS TO KNOW IF THERE’S A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?!

[ Warhorse ] HEY! IT'S THE ROCK!

You can tell Warhorse is ecstatic to see The Great One as the opposite reaction is smeared all across Killer Kross and Stevie Richards’ faces.

[ Warhorse ] THIS GUY IS A DOCTOR!

Nia Jax nudges Warhorse out of the way and interrupts before anything begins.

[ Nia Jax ] You boys see what I did out there? Caught me off guard. I did that in like, ten seconds.

She shrugs.

[ Nia Jax ] But when you got it, you got it.

And with that, she walks right off camera, never to be seen again.

[ The Rock ] DOCTOR, DOCTOR, GIVE ME THE NEWS! I GOT A BAD CASE OF THE BLUEEEE CHEW!

The Rock cocks an eyebrow.

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK MADE A FUNNY SONG! AND IT’S ALSO TRUE! THE ROCK’S FEELIN’ LIKE HE’S HAD BLUE CHEW RUNNIN’ THROUGH HIS VEINS FOR THREE DAYS, MAMA! THE ROCK AIN’T WHAT THEY’RE CALLING JUST THE ROCK ANYMORE!

[ Dr. Stevie ] Why are you taking Blue Chew?

[ The Rock ] IT’S THE SPONSOR OF CHRISTMAS CHAOS, MAMA! THE ROCK SUPPORTS THE BRANDS! NOW THERE’S BEEN SOME LIES TOLD TO THE ROCK DOWN BELOW! THE ROCK NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL BLUE CHEW IS DOIN’ TO HIM!

The Rock snatches his sunglasses off and raises an eyebrow.

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK IS UNCOMFORTABLE, YET, THE ROCK HAS NEVER FELT THIS MUCH BLOOD RUN THROUGH HIS VEINS AND STRAIGHT TO HIS SCORPION KING! THE ROCK’S ABOUT THREE SECONDS AWAY FROM A RAMPAGE! THE ROCK’S ABOUT THE BE FAST AND FURIOUS! WHOAAAA MAMA!

[ Killer Kross ] Are you just naming your fucking movies?

[ The Rock ] IF THE ROCK KEEPS WALKIN’ TALL, HE’S GONNA SLAP THE TASTE RIGHT OUTTA’ YOUR MOUTH IN A FAST FIVE!

[ Killer Kross ] Let me kill this annoying mother fucker already.

[ Dr. Stevie ] No! We cannot risk your rehabilitation for the bottom of the barrel of this company. One of you has a bright future here. The other.. Does not.

[ Warhorse ] WHAT ABOUT ME!?

[ The Rock ] IT DOESN’T MATTER!

[ Warhorse ] MAN, THAT'S RAD!

Dr. Stevie can’t believe it.

[ Dr. Stevie ] Young man, why in the world are you encouraging this?!

[ Warhorse ] IT'S THE ROCK!

Stevie sighs, knowing he has to end this charade. His client’s debut ruined because of these shenanigans.

[ Dr. Stevie ] Rocky, might I suggest you go elsewhere before Killer Kross introduces himself to you. I assure you, you do NOT want to pursue that option.

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK HAS DONE BEEN INTRODUCED TO HIS PARTNERS FOR TONIGHT!

[ Dr. Stevie ] ...What?

[ The Rock ] NOBODY WANTED THE BLUE CHEW SO THE ROCK TOOK THOSE PACKS OF PILLS, SHINED ‘EM UP REAL NICE, TURNED THOSE SUMBITCHES SIDEWAYS AND STUCK THEM STRAIGHT IN THE ROCK’S MOUTH!

[ Dr. Stevie ] You have a match coming up.. Why don’t you go get ready?

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK DOESN’T HAVE TO GET READY IF THE ROCK STAYS READY! IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’!

As quickly as he came, The Rock vanishes. Dr. Stevie presses his hands on Kross’ chest, holding him back the best he can.

[ Killer Kross ] That piece of trash ruined my moment!

[ Dr. Stevie ] Don’t worry.. There will be many more moments where this came from. Let natural selection deal with the incompetents in this company like him. Focus on going to the top like the true alpha that you are!

[ Warhorse ] YEAH, MAN! LIKE AN ALPHA!

Killer Kross kicks Warhorse below the belt, dropping him to the ground. Dr. Stevie drags Killer Kross away as the camera pans in on Warhorse giving the thumbs up.

[ Warhorse ] ROCK... ONNNNNNNN!

The scene fades to another part of the backstage area.

We return to the arena proper, where the lights are flashing in a multitude of colors, forming a rainbow sea of energy that perfectly bounces to the inimitable tune of “Copacabana.”

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Fans, this is one of the biggest opportunities of this gentleman, “CLASSIC” Colt Cabana’s career, and despite the pageantry and hijinks which will almost certainly ensue, you can rest assured that this is NOT an opportunity that he will squander.

As the upbeat disco tune reaches the first verse, the arena and entrance lights fall to black individually before three spotlights hit center stage in tune with the classic “BUM! BUM! BUM!” of the trumpet.

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there

Suddenly, who else but Colt Cabana steps onto the stage, into the center of the three spotlights, a huge grin across his face as the entire United Center erupts in other-worldly cheers for the hometown boy, who gives a silly twirl and accentuates his non-existent dimples with his index fingers, lighting up the stage and screens with his usual blend of bright, beautiful colors.

She would me-ren-gue!
And do the cha-cha!
And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar…

Cabana, now on his way to the ring, has got a still, calm smile on his face as he approaches the squared circle, hopping onto the apron, wiping his boots and taking a moment to blow a kiss to both his mother and Michael Jordan at ringside.

Across the crow!-ded!-floor!
They worked from Eight!-'Til!-Four!
They were young and they had each other…
Who could ask!-For!-More?!

Cabana begins spinning again in center ring, showing off his beautiful red bomber jacket, accented with baby blue and white, the colors of the classic Chicago flag, and a huge self-portrait on the back as the United Center begins singing along with the chorus of his fun theme.

At the Copa! (CO!)
Copacabana! (Copacabana!)
The hottest spot north of Havana – (HERE!)
At the Copa! (CO!)

Cabana begins dancing with Rick Knox, who is smiling and warm to Cabana’s antics but not in a dancing mood, settling to be begrudgingly twerked upon by “Boom Boom,” whose ear-to-ear smile is universally infectious.

[ Scott Steiner ] DAMMIT THIS CLOWN ASS LOSER CABANA IS SUCH A STUPID SUNNAVABITCH!

Well, nearly.

[ Scott Steiner ] AND HOW DARE YOU, JOHN CLEESE?! HOW DARE YOU SAY…THAT THIS…NERD! THIS NERD WAS SOME OF YOUR TOUGHEST MATC—

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Listen here, Scott! Colt Cabana will never ever be at the top of a serious wrestlers list and will likely never be serious enough to admit how skilled he is, but you know what? He is rather talented! He’s got heart! He’s got technique! He’s got experience, and dammit all, Scott, he’s going to do his best in the ring tonight.

Tony begins sobbing quietly.

[ Tony Schiavone ] <softly> Goodbye, best buddy.

Steiner is quiet as Cabana removes his headband and bomber jacket, handing it to a nearby ring assistant as the refrain to Copacabana plays still, Justin Roberts announcing “CLASSIC! COOOOOOOOLT! CA-BANAAAAAAA!” and the man himself spreads his arms wide, blowing kisses to all those in the United Center.

[ Scott Steiner ] Fine then. I’ll give him a chance to impress me without his bullshit comedy.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I don’t think you’ll be disappointed, my friend.

As Cabana begins rolling his neck in his corner, allowing Knox to perform his inspection upon his wrist tape and pads, the lights in the arena fall to black again as the eerie overture to another iconic theme begins to play across the speakers. Unlike the technicolor majesty of Cabana’s entrance, the whipping winds and electronic howling which leads off “I Hope You Suffer” is only accompanied by slow dripping blood on the Golden Tron, seemingly random before the words ‘JIMMY FUCKING HAVOC’ appear clearly – the drums and guitar firing up and the entire stage being bathed in a slow strobe of black and red as Davey’s haunting voice reaches the Chicago crowd, welcoming the Elevation Champion to the United Center.

I got two letters from youuuuu…
Last words of the runaway…
Your love was written so truuuuuue…
…and now I can't speak your name.

From beyond the curtain steps the man himself, clad in a long, macabre, black-and-red leather jacket, his usual black tights and of course, his studded black mask. The SGW Elevation Championship is visible through the front of his ornate jacket and his swept-off undercut is positioned just so. His axe, perfectly sharpened, rests on his shoulder as the United Center begins booing the man who would oppose their hometown hero Cabana.

The champion, Jimmy Havoc, is unperturbed. He lifts a single middle finger lethargically, taking a moment to peer around the arena before stepping forward with steely resolve towards his first title defense.

I faced destruction and you-ooh…
…just killed me and walked away!
I gave my heart to the cruuuu-uel…
…now it…will not beat aaagain…

[ Tony Schiavone ] Fans, this gentleman, Jimmy Havoc, has been called the King of the Goths…the King of the Deathmatch, and most recently, the SGW Elevation Champion. He’s got a style which is…to say it kindly, unorthodox –

[ Scott Steiner ] THAT’S SAYIN’ IT LIGHTLY.

[ Tony Schiavone ] – and yet, fans everywhere seem to flock to this man! Nigel, what can you tell us about Jimmy Havoc and his dark legion of followers?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tony, Scott, this man right here may damn well be the most charismatic, dangerous singular walking God’s Green Earth. His reputation as a vicious, ruthless striker and tactician precedes him and yes – individuals across the world, for whatever reason, find themselves resonating with the bleak world view and harsh cynicisms of one Jimmy Havoc. I fear this effect and trend will only amplify as his reign as Solid Gold Wrestling Elevation Champion carries on.

As Nigel finishes speaking, Havoc steps solemnly into the ring, removes his mask and lifts his axe high into the air, laughing maniacally as AFI’s dark, anthemic chorus rings across the United Center.

I HOPE YOUUUU! DOOOO!!
I HOPE YOU SUFFER – I HOPE YOUUUUUU! DO!
I HOPE YOU SUFFER!
I HOPE YOUUUU! DOOOO!!
I HOPE YOU SUFFER – I HOPE YOUUUUUU! DO!
I HOPE YOU SUFFER!
I HOPE YOUUUUUU! DOOOO….
…JUST LIKE I SUFFERED!

Havoc places his axe calmly into the corner, outside the four ropes and discards his mask and jacket, taking care to carefully unstrap the Elevation Championship Belt from around his waist and hand it to referee Rick Knox, who lifts it high into the air in center ring. The United Center applaud the championship while Cabana smiles, nodding with only a little bit of mocking in his bobbing while Jimmy Havoc looks straight ahead, murderous intention plastered across his cold, dark eyes.

[ Scott Steiner ] I ain’t gonna lie to yous…weird asses have been in wrestlin’ as long as I have. Gangrel’s vampire ass…Raven’s Edgar-Allen-Poe-ass…Sting’s stupid-Brandon-Lee-movies ass…but this guy, this Havoc guy, he’s gotta have sumthin’ seriously wrong in his stupid-haircut head. NEWSFLASH, DUMBASS – THE BARBER MISSED A WHOLE SIDE OF YOUR EGG HEAD!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I’m with you, there, Scott, but for different reasons! Jimmy Havoc has a sickening side of himself that truly, purely loves destruction and hurting others. Colt, my rival, my friend, has to be on his game to the fullest extent tonight…or else, God only knows what may happen.

As Knox signals for the ring bell, the United Center are raucous – and so, too, is Havoc, who charges straight ahead and begins pounding Cabana with a series of stiff left hands!

Referee - Rick Knox | Time Limit - 60:00

Havoc’s lightning-quick fists are raining down on the Chicago native, who covers his head instinctively, sinking lower into the corner with each blow, trying to endure the onslaught until the Elevation Champion wears himself out.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is a brutal display from Havoc, Nigel!

McGuinness says nothing, simply watching the action unfold as Havoc finally ceases his punching, stepping out of the corner and throwing his arms open wide, eyes crazily bloodshot somehow and screams: “WHO’N THE BLOODY HELL’S LAUGHIN’ NOW?!” Havoc turns, snarling at Cabana and charges, looking for a rolling corner senton – BUT CABANA MOVES! Colt gets out of the way and Havoc crashes into the buckles and then down onto his head awkwardly!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Cabana moves! Havoc with a nasty fall and lands right on his head!

[ Scott Steiner ] Your boy’s got to get on that pasty bastard, Nigel!

[ Tony Schiavone ] YOU CALLED HIM NIGEL! Didja hear, Best Buddy, he called you Ni—

[ Scott Steiner ] SHUT THE HELL UP OR I’LL RIP YOUR FEET OFF, SHOVE ONE DOWN YOUR THROAT THEN USE THE OTHER TO KICK YOURSELF IN THE NUTS TIL YOU PUKE IT BACK UP, YOU PAUNCHY SUNNAVABITCH!

As Schiavone gulps, a re-energized Colt gains energy from his rabid hometown crowd, watching as Havoc pulls himself up in the corner before screaming out, perhaps louder and more voraciously than ever before in his life: “FLYING ASSHOLE!!” Cabana runs across the hypotenuse of the ring and leaps, scoring with the bombastic hip attack and reeling Havoc! Still charging, Cabana takes off for the far ropes as Havoc staggers out behind him – Cabana’s at center ring, but Havoc throws a clothesline – Cabana catches it and spins through, around they go until Cabana latches the Elevation Champion into a double underhook and lifts – he’s going for Colt .45!

[ Tony Schiavone ] THE COLT .45! Could be all she wrote for Jimmy Havoc!

Cabana completes the backbreaker rack and sits out – COLT .45! He got all of it and covers, hooking the legs! ONE! TWO! NO!!! NO!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] DAMMIT! DAMMIT!

Disappointment finally breaks onto the face of the affable Cabana as he looks up at Knox with a half-cracked smile, asking if he’s sure before breathing out and reaching down to lift Havoc – but Havoc is already reaching for Cabana and is gouging at his eyes!!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY GOD!

Havoc begins digging his thumb through Cabana’s haphazard mash of fingers, trying his best to protect his eyes before Colt screams out in pain! Referee Rick Knox does all he can to simultaneously break Havoc’s grip and attend to Cabana while Chicago gasps out in shock and fear. The Elevation Champion finally releases his opponent and rises as quickly as he can, planting a dropkick right in Cabana’s right ear! Havoc is insatiable, now, clubbing at the base of Cabana’s neck with his right and left arms, taking a moment to place another boot squarely in his neck before double stomping hard into his spine as the Chicago native cries out again, clearly in agony whilst Rick Knox berates Havoc’s bloodthirstiness, imploring him to mind the rules of the contest, lest he be seriously fined!

Suddenly, Jason Jordan runs down from the stage, popping the United Center, who are substantially more excited when Kurt Angle is behind him! The father and son duo stop, now standing at ringside, screaming at Havoc to end the contest. Havoc shakes his head no, laughing to himself and piledrives Cabana, who had somehow managed to get to his hands and knees on the mat.

[ Kurt Angle ] COVER HIM, HAVOC! THAT’S ENOUGH, DARN IT!

A quick cut to the commentary booth shows Nigel McGuinness, now standing behind the table and watching behind wide eyes as Havoc stalks towards Colt and double stomps again, down onto his lower back, sending him to the mat. The Deathmatch King quickly grabs each of Cabana’s arms and pulls backwards, lifting the Chicago native up off the mat and giving his hometown a look at the blood coming from multiple scratches around his left eye. Many grimaces and shocked expressions spread around the arena as Havoc screams out again: “THIS FUCKIN’ CLOWN! HE’S GUNNA MAKE ME A JOKE?! WHO’S BLOODY LAUGHIN’ NOW, CABANA?!” before violently curb stomping Cabana’s face into the canvas.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This is getting to be a touch too much, fans. Please, look away from the screen if you’re squeamish…

“I DON’T SEE ANYTHING FUNNY HERE!!” The King of the Goths screams, as he pans around the arena, soaking in the vehement boos raining down upon him as a shot of Jason Jordan’s angry, puffy eyes fills the screen. Havoc strolls around to Cabana’s head and lifts him by his tight curls, running a single finger through the blood on his eye socket and drawing a crude smiling face on his own forehead.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] <to himself> …son of a bitch…

Havoc lifts Cabana from the mat and LEATHERS him with a brutal rolling elbow, sending his opponent down to a knee, dazed and far out of it as a voice is heard screaming from the announce booth.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] FINISH THE DAMN MATCH, HAVOC! COVER’IM AND BE DONE WITH’IT!

Havoc notices the new voice screaming and turns, lifting his eyebrows mockingly at Nigel before nodding with a sick smirk on his face. Obliging to McGuinness’ demand, Havoc lifts Cabana up in a waist lock, wrist perfectly captured, before spinning him out and cleaning Colt’s clock with a savage Acid Rainmaker! Cabana takes the brunt of the lariat to his neck, shooting his head backwards and half-backflipping before hitting the mat in an egregiously unsafe manner that stuns the United Center. Havoc looks again at McGuinness, then around the ring to Jordan and Angle, his middle fingers up before planting a boot in Colt’s chest for the one – two – three.

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION - Jimmy Havoc via Pin Fall in 7:45

“I Hope You Suffer” slams across the speakers again, completely draining what was left of the life in the United Center from it. Referee Knox attempts to give Havoc his championship and raise his arm, but the King of the Goths only glares into the official’s eyes and continues observing Cabana, now holding his sore neck weakly on the canvas, unmoving apart from his gritted teeth and squinting eyes. Havoc squats down, near Cabana’s head and a nearby camera catches the words he speaks, softly. “I’ll say this is me laughin’ last, huh Colt? I ain’t your fuckin’ joke…not now, not eva—”

CABANA STICKS HIS TONGUE OUT AT HAVOC MID-SENTENCE, STOPPING HIS TIRADE IN MID-WORD! The entire act, shown over the Golden Tron, pops the United Center as Cabana’s act of defiance even in his severely beaten state is a sign of life for the beloved Chicagoan. Havoc hammerfists Cabana across the left eye socket and immediately stands, pushing Rick Knox out of the way and heading to his own corner. At commentary, Nigel McGuinness rises and throws his headset to the table, preparing himself for something he may not even be able to predict doing.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Nigel, no! No, Best Buddy, no!

Havoc finally reaches his corner and takes hold of his horrid, gruesome axe, lifting it high over his head! He points the blade toward Cabana and starts striding over to him, absolute evil in his soul and leaking out onto the Solid Gold Wrestling psyche.

[ Kurt Angle ] NO! NO, DAMMIT, JASON, NO!! NOOO!!

Jason Jordan quickly scoots under the bottom rope and lays his own body over Cabana’s torso and head, covering him! Jordan looks up at Havoc, tears finally flowing from his eyes and shouts for him to “leave, he’d won the match, just leave!” The sheer emotion in the arena is insane as Angle, still on the floor, is beet-red and weeping, begging Jordan to get Cabana out and for Havoc to stop what he’s doing immediately.

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Havoc freezes, finally about two feet from Jordan and Cabana and pulls his axe off the canvas, where it had dragged beside him. He looks at his reflection in the blade and his eyes catch the matted, disgusting smile on his forehead…

…and Havoc matches the expression. A smile somehow bigger than any Colt Cabana has worn all night spreads across the gaunt face of the King of the Deathmatch, who begins cackling insanely, regripping his hands on the axe to swing away. Kurt Angle is beside himself, hands out, begging from the floor for Havoc to stop. Jordan grits his teeth and closes his eyes, still protecting his trainer from whatever may come.

[ Scott Steiner ] GO! GO NOW, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

AND THE UNITED CENTER EXPLODES IN CHEERS! THE ENTIRE BUILDING, WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXAGGERATION WHATSOEVER, COME UNGLUED SIMULTANEOUSLY.

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

From the floor to the ring with lightning-speed for a man his age, the bald-headed American sports hero and icon is up, ready to defend Jason Jordan and Colt Cabana from the devious Jimmy Havoc…

You read correctly – Michael Jordan is standing in an SGW ring.

The NBA Hall of Famer has hopped the barricade and entered the ring, grabbing the axe from Havoc’s hands and throwing it to the floor as the entire building descends into madness!

[ Scott Steiner ] AIR JORDAN! THE SON OF A BITCH HAS STILL GOT HOPS, HOLY SHIT!

Havoc tilts his head and goes nose-to-nose with the NBA Legend before laughing right in his face. A swarm of policemen and SGW Officials rush down from the back, the ring doctor finally removing Cabana and Jason Jordan from the ring as Havoc squares up with the Hall of Famer: “THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO, PRICK?”

AND MICHAEL JORDAN SHOVES JIMMY HAVOC’S PASTY ASS!

The entire Chicago metropolitan area scream joyous praise in unison as Havoc stumbles back, the flood of police and backstage officials filling the ring and separating the two before the unthinkable could occur.

[ Tony Schiavone ] MICHAEL JORDAN! MICHAEL JORDAN JUST STOPPED JIMMY HAVOC FROM MURDERING COLT AND JASON WITH AN AXE!

[ Scott Steiner ] HOLY SHIT, SENTENCES YOU NEVER THINK YOU’LL HEAR BUT HOLY HELL WHEN YOU HEAR IT! MICHAEL JORDAN’S GOT THIS PLACE SCREAMIN’ LIKE IT’S ’96 – OR LAST NIGHT IN MY FREAKS’ BEDROOM!

Havoc is still cackling maniacally as officials remove him from the ringside area, officials and policemen checking on Jordan, Cabana, Angle and Jordan in the meantime. McGuinness slowly slips his headset back on and sits down, still pretty shaken.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] …thank you lot for covering that for me.

[ Scott Steiner ] Don’t mention it, Ricky Gervais! Now, where’s Rhea Ripley’s supple ass at? I gotta get my cock back in it’s standard upright position after markin’ out so damn hard for a grown man like that.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] …some things never change, aye?

[ Tony Schiavone ] THEY SURE DON’T, BEST PAL!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Tony, let me go…you’re…hurting…me…

A final shot of a teary Kurt Angle hugging Jordan, who won’t take his eyes off Cabana, and the NBA Legend Michael Jordan standing over them is our last look at the ring as we fade away to the back.

The fans are still buzzing over what just happened in the ring with Michael Jordan as we cut backstage. We see Candy Floss walking side by side with Kris Statlander with a huge smile on her face. The fans cheer loudly upon seeing them. Clutched in front of Candy Floss in both hands is a giant lollipop, which she is fixated on. Kris Statlander is staring straight ahead as they walk. Statlander appears stoic, satisfied with how the night has gone.

[ Kris Statlander ] Now that we conquered the hostile Earthlings known as Bea Priestley and Jamie Hayter, Earthling Floss, what shall we do now? I presume that they are both now returning to their home planet and should no longer be a bother to us.

Candy Floss looks thoughtful.

[ Candy Floss ] I haven't really thought about that... but now that ya' mention it, Bea and Jamie were focused on bringin' about some women's tag team titles. Maybe we could talk t' Trish Stratus 'n try to make those a possibility.

Statlander nods.

[ Kris Statlander ] Mission accepted.

Before anything else can be said, they cross paths with... Ruby Riott! The fans cheer loudly upon seeing Ruby Riott appear on screen in street clothes and ragged old hoodie. Ruby stops in her tracks, looking both women up and down. Ruby nods solemnly.

[ Ruby Riott ] Can't say I wasn't warned that it was gonna be weird around here.

Kris Statlander looks Ruby Riott up and down, confused.

[ Kris Statlander ] Earthling, your features are avian in nature. Are you some sort of hybrid?

Ruby looks offended.

[ Ruby Riott ] Wait, what? Excuse me?

Candy Floss swats Statlander on the arm.

[ Candy Floss ] Mate, ya' can't just ask people if they're a hybrid!

[ Kris Statlander ] It was just a question.

She looks at Ruby Riott again, raising an eyebrow.

[ Kris Statlander ] For science.

Riott shakes her head and pulls her hood up.

[ Ruby Riott ] Alright, I'm out.

Riott turns around to leave but finds herself face to face with Nurse Ratchet, who has seemingly materialized out of nowhere. Behind her, we see Hikaru Shida and Shoko Nakajima emerge, doing their best to look intimidating. Ruby's shoulders slump and she removes her hood as she looks the three members of Dr. Cube's Army up and down. Statlander tilts her head to the side.

[ Kris Statlander ] I sense stress levels rising. This is not logical. Dr. Cube's Army is an ally.

[ Candy Floss ] They're really not.

[ Ruby Riott ] It's my first day. I was really hoping I wouldn't have to fight my way out of here.

Hikaru Shida steps up, past Nurse Ratchet. She looks from Ruby to Floss and Statlander and then back to Ruby. She tilts her head back, looking smug. Her eyes narrow, she's addressing Floss and Statlander primarily but Ruby is caught in the middle here.

[ Hikaru Shida ] Doc-tuh-ruh Cube have message for-uh you...

She holds out her arm where there appears to be a high tech wrist watch of some sort attached. She pushes a button on it and small hologram of Dr. Cube appears like something out of Star Wars. The fans boo loudly because this is obviously outlaw bullshit. The Dr. Cube hologram begins speaking.

[ Dr. Cube ] As much as it would please me to continue this partnership with such an intelligent alien life form and the most sugary sweet of candy elementals, I regretfully inform you that this relationship is no longer fortuitous for both parties... specifically... MINE! With Nurse Ratchet now undefeated against four level 9000 combatants, she is no doubt in line for a title match very soon. It was my pleasure to lend her services to you for the greater good... MY GREATER GOOD! And now that time has passed and there are loose ends which must be... tied up!

He tips his... cube(?) at everyone watching.

[ Dr. Cube ] And those loose ends are you two.

A pause.

[ Dr. Cube ] And this strange avian creature as well.

The hologram vanishes and Shida lowers her arm. Ruby Riott looks pissed.

[ Ruby Riott ] HEY! That's not--

Shida takes a step toward her, forcefully. Riott shakes her head.

[ Ruby Riott ] Seriously, what is it with me and fighting evil Japanese girls in every company I join?!

Without another word or any warning, Ruby Riott punches Shida in the throat and goes down to the floor with her, throwing forearms! Kris Statlander dives on Nurse Ratchet and they begin brawling as well! Candy Floss looks at Shoko then looks down at her sucker. Candy Floss looks utterly defeated... and SMASHES the giant sucker over Shoko's head, sending lollipop shrapnel in every direction! It's all out pandemonium in tight quarters as all six women slug it out! The tide turns suddenly and Hikaru Shida ends up on top of Ruby Riott, pummeling her! Shoko holds Candy Floss down, drilling her with forearms! From Hikaru Shida's wrist watch, we can hear Dr. Cube laughing maniacally as though he's witnessing this firsthand! But even more horrible, Nurse Ratchet is on top of Kris Statlander with a syringe in her hand! She's pushing down hard, trying to pierce Statlander with the needle but Statlander has a hold of Ratchet's wrists, keeping her at bay! Suddenly, the crowd pop huge as NIA JAX comes from nowhere and grabs Nurse Ratchet around the waist, rag dolling her violently before throwing her into the wall! Shida charges at Jax and Jax punches her right in the face, knocking her flat on her back! Shoko Nakajima leaves Candy Floss alone and dives on Nia Jax's back... but Nia Jax grabs her over her shoulder... and FLINGS HER STRAIGHT DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR! Nia Jax pounds her chest and looks totally jacked up, ready to go! Nurse Ratchet returns to her feet, grabs Shida and Shoko by their shirts, and drags them away on shaky, violently convulsing legs. Nia Jax looks down at her fist and smirks.

[ Nia Jax ] Yeah, you better run! I beat Rosemary in like 5 seconds and you're next!

Candy Floss, Ruby Riott, and Kris Statlander return to their feet, all looking worse for wear. Nia Jax turns and looks them all up and down, satisfied by what she sees.

[ Nia Jax ] Are you girls alright?

Candy and Statlander look at each other and nod. Ruby doesn't say anything. She just points at Jax.

[ Ruby Riott ] ...um?

Nia Jax looks down and there's a syringe sticking out of her leg. Candy Floss looks horrifed. Nia Jax shrugs, not looking worried about it.

[ Nia Jax ] So? Look at me. I'm freakin' HUGE. It's gonna take a lot more than that little thing to--

Nia Jax falls flat on her back, unconscious.

[ Kris Statlander ] Life signs are negative.

Ruby looks at Statlander, confused.

[ Ruby Riott ] You... you can tell that from here?

[ Kris Statlander ] No. But that was a really hard fall. Survlval... unlikely.

Riott throws up a peace sign.

[ Ruby Riott ] Yeah, I'm out.

Ruby Riott vanishes into the recesses of the backstage area.

[ Candy Floss ] Should we help 'er?

[ Kris Statlander ] There is nothing we can do for her now, Earthing Floss.

Statlander shakes her head sadly.

[ Kris Statlander ] Her fate is in the hands of the Supreme Being now.

Floss nods and swallows hard.

[ Candy Floss ] ...okay.

Floss and Statlander leave the scene. The camera hovers and slowly zooms in on Nia Jax's prone form... before slowly panning upward to reveal someone in the shadows wearing a cloak, watching Kris Statlander intently. The shadowy figure vanishes and we fade to black.

After a quick camera transition, the screen comes to life thanks to the Holiday Hell interview set. Cathy Kelley stands in the middle of the backdrop with a large flat-screen to her left. Standing beside her is Sin Cara in a yellow t-shirt and a blue suit jacket. Luchadores are just cooler in suits and he knows it.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Sin Cara, earlier tonight, you and Tim Storm came out victorious over MJF and Drew Galloway in the final SGW show of 2019. Where does 2020 take you?

Sin Cara ponders the question over for a beat and turns to Cathy, speaking in his best attempt at English.

[ Sin Cara ] I took a detour to help Tim Storm tonight. Instead of focusing on my own success, I chose to help Tim finish off MJF once and for all. I do not regret this decision, as Tim Storm is a noble man.

Sin Cara turns to the camera and puts up a single index finger.

[ Sin Cara ] Evil lurks everywhere around, but in the end, always remember, good.. Always.. Prevails! In 2020, a new year of opportunity presents itself. I look forward to taking advantage of-

Sin Cara stops in his tracks as Aleister Black enters the scene. He towers over the luchadore, staring down at him with a snarl.

[ Aleister Black ] I don’t understand why someone like you gets all of the attention while someone like me is on the glorified pre-show in a battle royal.

Black continues.

[ Aleister Black ] I’ve been here since day one just like you. Every show, I’m showing up and yet, I am simply an afterthought while people like yourself seem to enjoy the spotlight.

[ Sin Cara ] Just keep working, it will come!

Aleister puts his hand over the mouth part of Sin Cara’s mask.

[ Aleister Black ] Shhh…

He pauses.

[ Aleister Black ] 2020 is going to be a lot better than 2019. I assure you.

Aleister walks off without saying another word, leaving Cathy a little uneasy as she ensures the coast is clear before trying to go any deeper. She nervously puts the microphone back up to Sin Cara’s face after speaking.

[ Cathy Kelley ] We can continue if you’d like..

[ Sin Cara ] As I was saying, I have been taking detours away from my own success thus farm, from either combating Salina de la Renta or helping friends-

BLACK MASS! Aleister Black floors the unsuspecting Sin Cara with one flawless roundhouse kick! Hovering over the fallen Sin Cara, Aleister looks down with pride of what he’s done.

[ Aleister Black ] And unlike you, Sin Cara, in 2020, my mask is coming off and my true self will be shown to the world. Actions speak louder than words.

Aleister pushes his hands off his thighs and comes back to an upright stance. He takes one more look at what he’s done and walks off. The cameraman does his best to try to follow Aleister, but realizing this, Aleister puts his hand over the lens and shoves it away. Doing his best to readjust, the cameraman steadies the camera once again, giving us a shot of Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and Trent standing near the fallen Sin Cara.

[ Chuck Taylor ] I hate to do this while that dude is dead, but we have to get on the show somehow.

[ Trent ] It’s kind of bad taste, man.

[ Chuck Taylor ] Yeah, but it beats getting kicked in the face. What do you think, O.C.?

[ Orange Cassidy ] ….

[ Chuck Taylor ] Make it happen!

Chuck fully extends his arms and Trent does the same. The two men have obnoxiously stupid smiles on their faces as they march with their arms still spread out and they meet in the middle, wrapping Orange Cassidy up tightly. As soon as the two men embrace their partner, Orange Cassidy casually gives half of a thumbs up. The camera immediately zooms out in the ol’ “Rainmaker” camera shot.

Keep zooming out.

And more.

Finally, the camera quits the zoom out, as we can barely see the three men, still firmly embracing one another as the scene fades.

The fans are still sitting in uncomfortable silence following the shocking on-camera debut of the Best Friends. There's an intense level of grumbling emanating from somewhere deep in the heart of the arena, as the fans are clearly disgusted by the outlaw bullshit on display at Holiday Hell tonight. However, they're given very little time to be bothered by Chuck Taylor and Trent as the lights dim every so slightly and a spotlight is shone down on the stage. Men and women dressed in biblical robes and headdresses emerge from the back, some of them leading sheep, and even one of them is leading a camel! Two large men in robes step out from the back, carrying a wooden manger between them. They place it dead center in the middle of the stage and then step away from it.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What's going on here? This is certainly different!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Different is right, I'd say, Tony! Only once before has something of the biblical nature been seen in Solid Gold Wrestling... when Mike Awesome delivered a devastating Awesome Bomb to a poor Japanese man dressed as Christ at World Warrior '06!

[ Tony Schiavone ] He spent a night in a jail cell for his trouble, if I remember correctly!

The fans begin booing but in an uncertain way... as though they don't know for sure if they should be booing this or not. A bright, glowing star lowers from the ceiling and hovers just over the manger. Everyone stands there in silence on the stage... a full-on Christmas manger scene.

[ Scott Steiner ] WHAT IS THIS SHIT!? THIS IS FUCKIN' WEIRD! WHAT'S GOD DAMN JOE CAMEL DOIN' OUT HERE, HUH!? GONNA SHIT ALL OVER EVERYTHING! AND THE ONLY GUY THAT DESERVES TO WRESTLE IN SHIT HAS ALREADY WRESTLED TONIGHT AND I'M TALKIN' ABOUT BRYAN DANIELSON!

Snow suddenly begins to fall over the stage even though that makes no sense but here we are. We continue to watch this scene unfold awkwardly and then we realize that something very integral to the entire scene is missing... "Like A Lady" hits and those uncertain boos become VERY certain very fast! The song plays for a moment and then Lacey Evans emerges from the back in a sequined robe and headdress, reminiscent of the Virgin Mary! And in her arms, she's carrying a baby wrapped in a sequined blanket! Lacey walks toward the manger, smiling proudly while waving at the fans with lace gloved hands.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh now come on! This is too far!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Nothin' says ladylike like the original lady herself, the Virgin Mary!

She kneels next to the manger and raises the Baby Jesus to kiss it on the forehead! She lays it in the manger and covers her heart, exclaiming "This one is for you, my sweet, precious Baby Jesus! Happy birthday!" and then stands up. She turns her back to the crowd, removing her headdress to allow her golden hair to fall free, and whips off her sequined robe to leave her in nothing but her wrestling gear, bent slightly at the waist to show off her red and green tights clinging to her ass. As the camera zooms in closer on her rear, we see a tiny piece of mistletoe hanging from the waist of her tights, just slightly above red and white candy cane text on her ass cheek that says "PUCKER UP, CVE"!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Oh, now that's really classy.

[ Scott Steiner ] Bring that ass over here!

Lacey Evans turns around, smiling, and the fans are booing so loudly that they threaten to bring the building down around them! Evans places her hands on her hips and begins strutting down the ramp with confidence. She climbs the ring steps and walks across the apron, making sure to turn around so the camera can zoom up her ass one more time and show off the mistletoe and candy cane text. She steps through the ropes and then enters the ring, throwing up an arm and flexing for all the fans in attendance to see. Lacey walks over to her corner and her music cuts as Paul Turner goes to pat her down. Evans' gaze is locked on the entranceway... and she scowls as "Broken Bones" by Anti-Flag hits, drawing a huge pop from the fans!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Here she comes! The first ever SGW Women's World Champion!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] And this match isn't just business, Tony! This is personal! Lacey Evans has made life miserable for Christina Von Eerie since she first walked in the door at SGW Revenge! This is their first one-on-one encounter and it could very well be the last one!

Christina Von Eerie emerges from the back in her gear, a leather jacket, and... a creepy pig mask! Von Eerie's hair is down from her characteristic mohawk and hangs down around her face, green and black, obscuring the horrifying mask partially. She has the SGW Women's World Championship around her waist and walks slowly to the middle of the stage, surrounded still by the manger scene, before unsnapping the belt and holding it over her head. The fans are cheering loudly, chanting "OI! OI! OI!" as Von Eerie just stands there for a moment, soaking it all in, her eyes hidden by the mask and her hair.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What an unsettling choice of attire by our women's champion!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Her mind is clearly set on one thing tonight! Slaughter!

Von Eerie places the championship on her shoulder and begins to make her way down to the ring before thinking better of it and looking over her shoulder at the manger. Von Eerie tilts her head slightly like a horror movie slasher villain and then turns around, approaching the manger! Von Eerie looks down into the manger and then down the ramp at the ring where we catch a glimpse of Lacey Evans shaking her head, furious! Von Eerie reaches down and picks up the Baby Jesus prop, holding it up and staring into its eyes through the mask. Von Eerie turns to look back down at the ring again... before cradling the baby prop and walking down to ringside with it!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Unsettling imagery on top of unsettling imagery!

[ Tony Schiavone ] I'm glad I'm not in charge of sorting through SGW's hate mail!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Who would eva' send SGW hate mail, Tony!?

[ Scott Steiner ] Who wouldn't send SGW hate mail for this bullshit!?

Von Eerie stalks around the ringside area, taking a moment to stare fans down and get a glimpse of her baby. Lacey Evans wants to attack her but Paul Turner holds her back, not allowing this to break down before it even gets started. Finally, Von Eerie makes her way up the ring steps and climbs to the middle rope from the outside, the vacant black eyes of the mask focused on Lacey Evans. Without hesitation, Von Eerie whips off the mask, revealing Misfits-style corpse paint!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] War paint! Would ya' look at that!

The fans are cheering loudly and Von Eerie hops down inside the ring, staring a hole through the Lady of Solid Gold Wrestling! Evans shakes her head, looking unshaken but visibly angry. Paul Turner approaches Von Eerie and takes the Women's World Championship belt before holding it over his head in the center of the ring. Von Eerie and Lacey Evans remain in their corners, staring one another down. Von Eerie looks down at the baby prop cradled in her arms and cracks a sly grin, made all the more chilling by her choice in face paint. Turner passes the belt off to Justin Roberts at ringside and then calls for the bell!

Referee - Paul Turner | Time Limit - 60:00

Both women remain in their corners for another moment before finally walking toward the center of the ring. However, Von Eerie tosses the Baby Jesus prop at Lacey Evans! Evans looks on with wide eyes and scrambles to catch it before clutching it to her chest, shrieking "HOW DARE Y--" before Von Eerie executes a double leg takedown! Jesus flies from Evan's arms and Von Eerie begins drilling her with a series of forearms and punches to the head and chest as the fans go wild! Paul Turner gingerly picks up the Baby Jesus and passes it off to Justin Roberts at ringside!

[ Scott Steiner ] Yeah! Get that fuckin' baby outta' the ring!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Christina Von Eerie is wasting no time!

Lacey Evans covers up as Von Eerie continues pummeling her! Finally, Evans reaches up through the onslaught and rakes Von Eerie's eyes! Von Eerie falls to the side, rubbing at her eyes in pain. Lacey Evans takes the moment to roll under the bottom rope and walk around the ring, touching her jaw where Von Eerie made impact repeatedly. The fans are booing loudly as Lacey Evans looks apprehensive about returning to the ring. Von Eerie finally returns to her feet, her face paint having taken damage around her eyes from the assault. Von Eerie sneers and charges in the direction of Evans but Evans is ready for her, coming alive and snatching Von Eerie by her ankles, tripping her and dragging her under the bottom rope!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Lacey Evans is taking it to the ground!

Von Eerie grabs the bottom rope in an attempt to maintain control but Evans simply pulls even harder and Von Eerie falls off the apron back first on the floor! Evans wastes no time in mounting Von Eerie and drilling her with a series of punches of her own! Evans finally stands up and fans herself with her hand before reaching down and snatching up Von Eerie by two hands of hair. She pushes Von Eerie back first against the apron and nails her in the chest with a huge overhead forearm strike! Von Eerie takes the blow, looking like it winded her, and Evans delivers a second one right after! Von Eerie goes down to one knee and Evans winds up the Woman's Right and SWINGS... only for Von Eerie to catch her wrist, shake her head, and rise back to her feet as Evans look on with surprise! Von Eerie, maintaining her hold on Evans' wrist, hauls off and kicks Evans in the gut before bringing her in for the GRAVEYARD SMASH... but Evans locks her knees and BACKDROPS VON EERIE ON THE FLOOR! Evans staggers forward and quickly rolls under the bottom rope, back into the ring! Christina Von Eerie rolls back up to one knee, favoring her back, and staggers back to her feet. She walks toward the apron... and Lacey Evans nails her with a BASEBALL SLIDE that sends her crashing backward into the guardrail!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What a hit!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Christina Von Eerie needs to get back in control before it's too late!

Evans slides the rest of the way out of the ring and charges at Von Eerie... but Von Eerie catches her coming in with a backdrop into the FRONT ROW! Lacey lands across the laps of several undesirable fans and frantically scrambles to get away from the nasties, only to walk right into a forearm from Von Eerie that rattles her! Before she can collect herself, Von Eerie hooks her... AND SUPLEXES HER BACK INTO THE RINGSIDE AREA!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Did you hear that!? The sound of flesh hitting the floor!

Before Evans even has a chance to settle on the floor, Von Eerie advances on her and grabs two handfuls of hair. She pulls Evans back to her feet and shoves her under the bottom rope, back inside the ring. Von Eerie follows her in and Evans scrambles toward the corner in an attempt to avoid further punishment. Von Eerie follows her and goes to grab a hold of her but Evans grabs the front of Von Eerie's tights and pulls her down face first into the middle turnbuckle! Evans scrambles back to her feet and drills Von Eerie in the back of the head with a knee and then holds it there, using the top rope as leverage to bury her knee in the back of Von Eerie's neck! Evans finally lets go as Paul Turner's count reaches four, and then dusts her hands off with a satisfied smile. Von Eerie slumps down in the corner and Evans sizes her up, clenching her fist and flexing, letting everyone know that the Woman's Right and is cocked and loaded! Von Eerie uses the bottom rope to push herself up to her knees and grabs the ropes to pull herself up to her feet. She slowly turns around in the corner and Lacey Evans charges at her with the WOMAN'S RIGHT! Von Eerie comes alive and ducks the punch, yet remains in the corner! She snatches Lacey Evan's by her wrists from behind, pulls them up in a STRAIGHT JACKET POSITION, and then takes a step up onto the middle rope! DEAD RAISING! CHRISTINA VON EERIE GOT DEAD RAISING, FINALLY! Von Eerie scrambles to cover... but Evans manages to roll out of the ring!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Astonishing ring presence from Lacey Evans!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Christina Von Eerie almost got her! That was her move!

The fans boo loudly as Von Eerie looks on in frustration! Lacey Evans lazily scrambles toward the timekeeper's area on all fours and then struggles to stand. The SGW Women's World Championship is resting on the table next to Baby Jesus and Lacey Evans takes them both in her arms! She hugs them tightly with tears in her eyes as Von Eerie grabs her from behind and forcefully slings her under the bottom rope! Evans manages to keep her grip on the championship but Jesus falls to the mat near the apron! Von Eerie rolls under the bottom rope after her and Evans sneers, gripping the title tightly and preparing to swing it at Von Eerie... but Paul Turner grabs the championship, not allowing her to use it! Evans and Paul Turner play tug of war with the belt until Paul Turner finally rips it from her grasp! Lacey Evans looks offended as Paul Turner turns to remove the belt from the ring! Evans then turns around... INTO A SHOT TO THE HEAD FROM CHRISTINA VON EERIE... WITH BABY JESUS!

[ Tony Schiavone ] What a shot!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Morally questionable choice of weapon!

[ Tony Schiavone ] But it does the trick!

The prop shatters into pieces! The fans erupt as Lacey Evans goes down in a heap and all that's left of Baby Jesus is a stray leg still in Christina Von Eerie's grasp! Von Eerie even looks surprised, looking down at the leg before shrugging nonchalantly and tossing it to the side! Von Eerie covers Evans and plants her forearm firmly across Evans' jaw, showing no respect as Paul Turner turns around and counts ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION - Christina Von Eerie via Pin Fall in 13:39

The fans pop huge and Von Eerie rolls off Evans before rising to her feet, just in time for Paul Turner to present her with the SGW Women's World Championship. Von Eerie takes the belt and holds it over her head before going corner to corner and pumping her fist in time with the fans chanting "OI! OI! OI!"

[ Nigel McGuinness ] She's done it! She's bloody done it!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Christina Von Eerie has vanquished her nemesis!

Lacey Evans rolls out of the ring and staggers toward the stage where the gaudy biblical figures are waiting on her. One of the wise men tries to take her hand to help her to the back but she violently shoves him away and kicks the manger over before shrieking "GET AWAY FROM ME!" and vanishing behind the curtain.

[ Tony Schiavone ] This likely isn't the last we've heard from Lacey Evans but what an impressive victory for Christina Von Eerie in her first SGW Women's World Championship defense!

Von Eerie stares down the entranceway until she's sure Evans is gone and then continues celebrating with the championship held high as we go backstage.

Darby Allin is seen resting on top of a production case backstage. He appears to be down and out, frustrated with himself as he spins his skateboard on its end in a circle. Knowing the camera is there, he begins speaking softly.

[ Darby Allin ] Tonight did not go the way I had planned. When I got signed by SGW, I was told I would be getting a shot against the best this company had the offer, not being stuck inside of a stupid battle royal.

He slowly lifts his head, revealing his face paint smeared all over and even removed in some spots.

[ Darby Allin ] Darby Allin is not your filler. I am not your plug and play participant. I am your future champion!

Almost on cue, Nick Aldis approaches, decked out in a custom-fit gray suit with burgundy dress shirt underneath. The NWA World Championship rests tightly against his chest. Kamille stands behind him in a tight-fitting black dress.

[ Nick Aldis ] “Future champion,” eh?

He displays the NWA title, letting Darby’s reflection shine in the faceplate.

[ Nick Aldis ] Keep trying there sport. One day, if you’re lucky and I’m dead, you can be a real champion like myself.

[ Darby Allin ] Your belt is worthless.

[ Nick Aldis ] So says a skeleton boy who has no business being in this company.. Unlike myself. A real man, a winner, a champion.

[ Darby Allin ] You lost the battle royal, too. What are you even gloating about?

[ Nick Aldis ] Oh? What was I interrupting, Darby? Your little pity party? My apologies.

[ Darby Allin ] Soon, someone’s going to beat the shit out of you.

Aldis tilts his head back and laughs.

[ Nick Aldis ] Yes, well, when you become a real man, I’ll be sure to give you the first swing. Happy New Year, Darby. Here’s to 2020 being better for you than the close of 2019 was. For me, I am free as a bird like never before.

Leaving Darby sitting, and also knowing he was most likely close to starting a fight he wanted no part of right now, Aldis passes on by with Kamille in tow. A few steps later, they stumble upon Santa Claus, sitting in a large wooden chair completely by his lonesome.

[ Nick Aldis ] Kamille, would you look at what we have ‘ere?

Aldis smirks and takes a few steps towards Santa.

[ Nick Aldis ] One Saint Nick to another.

Kamille remains emotionless as Aldis takes delight in the sight.

[ Nick Aldis ] Saint Nick, I’m afraid you’re three days late, my friend. Christmas was Wednesday.

[ Santa Claus ] Ho! Ho! Ho! It’s always Christmas time if you truly believe!

Pondering it over momentarily, Aldis flashes a million dollar smile so bright it could light Vegas for a week. He hands Kamille his NWA Championship and surveys the scene a little closer.

[ Santa Claus ] Christmas might have already come and gone, but it’s never too late to start for next year!

[ Nick Aldis ] Suppose you do have a point. Ah, what the hell, right?

Aldis reluctantly sits on Santa’s lap and wiggles until he gets comfortable… Or as comfortable as one could get in this situation.

[ Nick Aldis ] The results of that meaningless battle royal notwithstanding, Mr. Claus, all I want for Christmas is my enemies vanquished one by one! If you cannot do that for me, then I will have no choice but to do it myself.

He’s so proud of himself. Aldis tugs on the lapels of his jacket, adjusting how it rests on his shoulders.

[ Nick Aldis ] I have talent, looks, charisma... I have everything I could ask for.. Except… the SGW World Championship. So, Santa, I’ll also ask you to convince the SGW Championship Committee to open their eyes and give me what I deserve.

A nearby door busts open and Tommaso Ciampa comes walking backwards through it, dragging someone behind him. Nick Aldis springs to his feet at the sight.

[ Tommaso Ciampa ] Sorry that I’m late. It happens to me all the time.

[ Nick Aldis ] What is the meaning of this?!

[ Tommaso Ciampa ] I just do as he says.

[ Nick Aldis ] Who?

A crazed smile comes over Ciampa’s face as he rubs his scraggly beard.

[ Tommaso Ciampa ] They told me you had too many friends. So, you’re welcome.

The camera pans in on the person Ciampa drug in - ELI DRAKE! Aldis’ eyes are full of shock and horror.

[ Nick Aldis ] What did you do?!

[ Tommaso Ciampa ] He didn’t show up when you needed him, so they told me to eliminate him.. Then they told me if I mess up again, Tommaso is next! And I don’t want to be next! I want to be the best!

Without any follow up or explanation, the crazed Tommaso Ciampa scurries away from the scene of the crime. Aldis looks down at Eli Drake, who looks to have been beaten beyond repair, bloodied and bruised already. His unconscious body is covered in snow.

[ Nick Aldis ] Well Santa, I did ask for you to vanquish my enemies one by one.. I s’pose you came through. For this man was never by friend. I saw the lust in his eyes for Charlotte, my beautiful ten pounds of gold. He was more of a spy than an ally.

Aldis’ demeanor goes from shock to disgust.

[ Nick Aldis ] If people want to be seen with the real World’s Champion, they’re going to have to be able to do more than get destroyed by simpletons such as Tommaso Ciampa. For 2020 is coming, and the age of Nick Aldis will be one to remember. And the weak.. There’s simply no room in SGW for them. Only the strong shall survive, Kamille.

Aldis curls his lip and turns his nose at Eli Drake.

[ Nick Aldis ] Thanks for nothing, Eli.

Aldis grabs his championship belt from Kamille and tucks it under his arm. He walks off camera as the scene fades after giving us one final shot of the beaten and bruised Eli Drake.

Backstage, we’re in the hustling, bustling trainer’s room, where our friend Colt Cabana is being tended to by a pair of doctors. His eye socket is covered with a bandage and a protective patch, and he’s laying back on the trainer’s table, still in his singlet and a Coca-Cola t-shirt. Jason Jordan is sitting in a chair beside him, watching as the doctors do their diligent work.

[ Tony Schiavone ] Fans, we’ve gotten word that Colt Cabana is going to be alright. His eye is okay, just very inflamed and agitated from Jimmy Havoc’s attack. He’s not displaying concussion symptoms and appears to have just been really…well, messed up, for lack of a better word.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Jimmy Havoc, the son of a bitch, he went for blood because Colt’s a joking bastard. He went too far, Tony. Thank God Colt’s alright.

Cabana’s right eye is clinched shut, as he’s still in obvious pain. Jason is looking over a doctor’s shoulder at an x-ray as the door bursts open in the trainer’s room.

[ Kurt Angle ] I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! I SWEAR, OF ALL THE RECKLESS THINGS YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR LIFE, YOU’D THROW YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE PATH OF A RECKLESS MADMAN LIKE THAT?

Jason Jordan’s eyes cut to the door where his father walks in and he swallows deeply, growing angry by the moment.

[ Jason Jordan ] Listen, Dad! I did what I thou—

[ Kurt Angle ] Hush, Jason! The adults are talking here…

The camera pans off of Jason and reveals Michael Jordan walking into the trainer’s room. The United Center blows up again with excitement like #23 just drained a deep J. Jordan’s steely expression is juxtaposed with his narrowed eyes, glancing at Cabana on the table, who has shifted slightly with all the commotion in the room.

[ Kurt Angle ] Honestly, Michael, when management asked if we were friends, if I’d be willing to help see you around the arena tonight, I told them ‘Oh yeah! We met in ’96! He’s a great guy! He won’t cause ANY trouble at all!’

Michael looks from Cabana to Jason, where his eyes rest for a moment before turning them to Kurt and speaking solemnly.

[ Michael Jordan ] Listen, Kurt. I know what I said and I’m sorry, but I had to step in and make sure nothing happened…

[ Kurt Angle ] Yeah, and I’m more happy than anyone that nothing happened, Mike, but frankly, I will repeat myself AGAIN – you said you wouldn’t get involved! You said you’d just enjoy the show! Why did you make a liar out of me?! Integrity is one of my three Is, Michael! It’s one of the top three, in fact!

[ Jason Jordan ] Please stop yelling, Colt’s trying to rest…and besides, there’s only three I’s, Dad, they’re ALL in your top three.

[ Kurt Angle ] Shut it, boy!

[ Michael Jordan ] Hey, you don’t talk to him like that!

Angle shakes his head, in complete disbelief that his old friend would interject himself into family business. Kurt steps closer to Michael, still respectfully distanced but closer now that the NBA Hall of Famer knows the score.

[ Kurt Angle ] I’ll speak…to my son…however I want, Michael.

Jordan steps forward again, as well, narrowing the gap between the two further as Cabana stirs heavily, sitting up with doctors’ assistance and rubbing what must be an incredibly sore head.

[ Michael Jordan ] He isn’t your son, Kurt.

The United Center gasp out in unison as their hero drops this huge nugget of information. Angle scoffs and scrunches his face, looking from Jason to Michael to a nameless doctor, who offers Angle no answers and, as a matter of fact, no expression whatsoever. He has no part in the drama, he’s there to work.

[ Kurt Angle ] …what….what are you even talkin’ about, Mike?

Jordan looks past Angle, to Cabana, then locks eyes with Jason.

[ Michael Jordan ] …he’s my son.

The man may as well have just brought another NBA Championship to the building and offered each fan in the seats a steak dinner to celebrate. The building is shaking with energy as Angle’s eyebrows raise to a dangerous height while Michael calmly looks from his supposed son back to Angle. The entire scene is silent and tense until a voice breaks the stiffness.

[ Colt Cabana ] …I realize that I’m on some serious pain medication…and that I’m dressed as a pirate for whatever reason…and also that the last thing I recall is Jimmy Havoc attempting murder in a public location with an axe like he’s Lizzie Borden and all…

One of the doctors coughs.

[ Colt Cabana ] …but did Michael Jordan just say he’s Jason Jordan’s fath…oh. Oh, no, that does make sense. Jordan…Jordan. Huh.

Michael looks to Colt and smiles sheepishly.

[ Colt Cabana ] …right. Right. I’m going to go ahead and pass out again now.

With that, Cabana falls back onto the bed and the doctors rush over to check on him.

[ Doctor 1 ] Gentlemen, we’ll ask you all to leave now…

[ Doctor 2 ] Please? Mr. Cabana needs to rest now.

The tension across the trainer’s room is palpable; no man flinches to move between Michael Jordan, Kurt Angle, and someone’s son, Jason Jordan.

[ Doctor 2 ] Hello?! Did any of you hear us??

Still no words uttered. The three of them look back and forth at one another as we fade back to the announce table for our main event of the evening.

Back at ringside, the fans are buzzing with anticipation, knowing that the main event of the evening is coming up next. Before their excitement reaches a fever pitch, “Jingle Bells” hits over the PA system and out from the curtain comes SANTA CLAUS!

[ Tony Schiavone ] IT’S HIM! IT’S HIM! SANTA’S HERE!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Saint Nicholas himself!

[ Scott Steiner ] HIS ASS GOT ALL’A MY GIFTS UNDER THE DAMN TREE THIS YEAR – ‘CUZ I TOLD HIM AT THE DETROIT MALL I’D CHOKE HIS ASS OUT IF NOT!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Santa, indeed! But hey, something seems funny about Good ‘Ole Saint Nick…

Upon further inspection of the sideways trotting and missing teeth, it’s revealed that the man behind the suit in none other than Mick Foley. Foley Claus begins tossing SGW merchandise out into different areas of the crowd, showing off the fans’ Christmas spirit of fighting one another for t-shirts, foam fingers, and DVDs. Foley passes the Judge’s Table, showing Shane McMahon, Arn Anderson, and Ricky Steamboat already seated behind the table, and enters the ring to a thunderous pop.

[ Mick Foley ] HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OL’ SAINT MICK AND SGW!

Foley digs through Santa’s big bag and pulls out more merchandise, slinging it aimlessly to the crowd.

[ Mick Foley ] I know Foley Claus made his journey a few days ago to all the good little boys and girls around the world, but I couldn’t return to the North Pole without seeing all of you! Solid Gold Wrestling has been atop my Good List for many weeks now, unlike other naughty, naughty wrestling promotions! Show in and show out, SGW gives us all joy, peace on earth, and goodwill towards everyone! So, it’s my honor to be here right now in Chicago, Illinois…

Cheap crowd pop. God love him.

[ Mick Foley ] ..To give our wonderful judges some gifts as they prepare to be on standby in case of emergency tonight for the SGW World title match! Ol’ Saint Mick knows these men well and assures you all that they’re on Santa’s Good List!

Cautiously and slowly, Foley rolls out of the ring like a sack of sand and gets to his feet on the outside, then secures his large bag filled with goodies. He waddles over to the judge’s table and shakes hands with all three of the men.

[ Mick Foley ] Ho! Ho! Ho! Shane McMahon! Here is a brand-new pair of binoculars for your judging tonight!

Shane-O Mac takes the binoculars and looks at them confusingly. Not wanting to hurt any feelings, he sits them down in front of him.

[ Mick Foley ] Rick Steamboat, here is you a clipboard and a shiny new pencil! Take good notes and make sure you pick the right winner! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Foley then turns to Arn Anderson, stoic in his demeanor, having no time for these shenanigans.

[ Mick Foley ] Ah, Double A! Last but not least on Ol’ Saint Mick’s list! Here’s you a Best of Val Venis DVD!

Foley raises it high in the air as the crowd cheers loudly. Foley brings it back down and opens it up, revealing nothing inside.

[ Mick Foley ] It’s a quick watch! Blink and you might miss something!

Foley rolls back into the ring and very slowly gets from his knees to an upright position.

[ Mick Foley ] Now that the gift giving is out of the way, I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy Ne—

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD –
THEY COUNSEL ME…
THEY UNDERSTAND…
THEY TALK TO ME!

Santa Mick’s eyes grow wide as the stage lights immediately begin flaring in red and bronze and the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton begins slowly stalking to the ring, championship belt clasped around his waist as he focuses solely on the ring…

…and his prey within.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This man, OUR CHAMPION, Randy Orton, has already said earlier this week that he’s not got a single concern with the Holidays – his sole concern is around his waist! His sole concern in this entire world! And conspicuous –

[ Tony Schiavone ] NO! NO RANDY, NO!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] – err, conspicuous by their absence is RKO Security! Orton is showing eternal confidence in himself by coming to the ring alone here tonight.

Santa Mick begins clapping lightly, moving his bag to the outside of the ring beside the judges’ table and inviting Orton into the ring warmly. As the champion reaches the ring, he slowly, calmly unsnaps the championship belt and places his zip-up hoodie vest and his most prized possession in a corner, stepping through the ropes and eyeing Foley solemnly.

[ Mick Foley ] Ah, Randy. I’m so proud of your journey here in Solid Gold Wrestling…you’ve reached the mountaintop you’ve always dreamed of…now, I THINK it’s a bit obvious…but what do you want for Christmas, my friend?

Orton looks pensive as Schiavone cries openly at the announce table. The SGW World Heavyweight Champion strokes his chin contemplatively and looks Foley deep in the eyes as he leans toward the outstretched microphone.

[ Randy Orton ] …hmmm. I wonder…what it is…I would ask for from you, Mick…or should I say…Santa?

Foley chuckles and nods his head as the United Center begin to stir wildly – and ORTON LEAPS INTO THE AIR, RKOing SANTA CLAUS INTO THE MAT VICIOUSLY! As Foley rolls to the floor in a heap, Orton screams “STUPID!” over and over, sitting on his ass in center ring and grabbing the microphone, pointing a long finger at where Foley lay.

[ Randy Orton ] I WANT ALL THESE DAMN DISTRACTIONS TO DIE! I WANT TO KILL THIS COMPANY LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE STAYED DAMN DEAD BACK IN 2006!

The United Center pops as Orton looks left and right, carrying on.

[ Randy Orton ] I AM THE CHAMPION AND I WILL STAY THE CHAMPION RIGHT HERE TONIGHT! THERE’S NOT A DAMN CHANCE IN THE WORLD THAT AH—OOF!!

ADAM COLE CRASHES INTO RANDY ORTON WITH THE LAST SHOT!! ADAM COLE HAS COME OUT OF NOWHERE! AND JOHN CENA slides into the ring behind him and signals for the bell!!

Referee - Aubrey Edwards | Time Limit - 60:00
Judges Panel - Arn Anderson, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, and Shane McMahon
Special Guest Referee - John Cena

Cole covers the champion!

THIS COULD BE IT! CENA COUNTS IN PERFECT CADENCE!!

ONE!!

TWO!!!

NO!!! NO!!! Orton slips his shoulder up off the mat and Cole grabs the sides of his head in shock! He peeks over at Cena, wearing his tight referee’s shirt and black and white cap, who signals “Two!” with two lifted fingers and a knowing smile as the United Center explodes with enthusiasm.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] HO-LEE SMOKES, GENTLEMEN! IT ALMOST JUST HAPPENED!

[ Tony Schiavone ] What a moment that would've been!

Adam Cole grits his teeth and resolves himself to get the job done the right way! He grabs Orton by either side of his head and pulls him up to his feet. Orton is on spaghetti legs and drops to one knee but Cole pulls him into a piledriver position anyway. Gripping Orton around the waist, Cole pulls him up to both feet and goes for PANAMA SUNRISE but Orton manages to spin out of it and catch Cole out of nowhere with the RKO! The fans erupt in boos! Orton goes to make the cover but Cole has the wherewithal to roll toward the ropes and out of the ring!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Impressive ring presence for Adam Cole!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] No doubt the match would've been over if Orton could've made the cover!

Britt Baker has made her way down to ringside and is checking on Cole as he lays on the floor, cradling his head. Orton still looks discombobulated and pushes himself up, regaining his footing. He staggers about the ring and John Cena approaches him, trying to check on him and Orton rubs his eyes, blinking erratically as though he still has  few screws jogged loose from the Last Shot. Suddenly, Randy Orton nails John Cena with the RKO for no reason!

[ Scott Steiner ] AW SHIT! OUTTA FUCKIN' NOWHERE!

Orton writhes around on the mat for a moment, pounding his fists on the mat before rolling over on his stomach and glaring down at Cena's unconscious face! "STUPID! STUPID!" Orton shouts and then returns to his feet. Cena begins to stir and rolls over onto his side... Orton is already poised in the corner, waiting, practically salivating as he gestures for Cena to get up while shouting "GET UP! GET UP, CENA!" like a man possessed! Cena pushes himself up to all fours... AND RANDY ORTON PUNTS HIS HEAD CLEAN OFF HIS SHOULDERS!

[ Tony Schiavone ] OH MY GOODNESS! NO!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] We need a medic out 'ere! Pronto!

Without even a hint of celebration, Orton just stares off into the distance and then slowly turns his head to the ringside area where we see Adam Cole has finally made it into a seated position with Britt Baker kneeling next to him. A smirk crosses the face of the champion but he doesn't approach... instead he gestures toward the back, motioning for someone to come out! And here they come! Ken Kennedy and Chris Masters emerge from the back, wringing their hands together and cracking their knuckles like stereotypical minions! Adam Cole struggles back to his feet just in time to get mobbed by Kennedy and Masters! Cole swings wildly, throwing punch after punch in every direction... before Britt Baker nails Kennedy in the nuts with a kick from behind! Kennedy grabs his crotch and shouts "GOD DAMN YA' GOT'EM BOTH!" and drops to his knees! Cole begins peppering Masters with a series of punches and ultimately clotheslines him over the guardrail and into the front row!

[ Tony Schiavone ] The heart of Adam Cole is undeniable!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Where's security!? Where's the bloody medics!?

Adam Cole wastes no time in sliding back into the ring and meets Randy Orton right in the center as they begin trading punches like wild men! Orton suddenly goes for the eyes and Cole staggers back, disoriented and in pain! Orton snatches a handful of hair and nails Cole with a European uppercut! The impact sends Cole staggering backward into the ropes and he rebounds back toward Orton! Orton goes for a clothesline but Cole ducks it and hits the opposite ropes! He charges back and Orton and Orton ducks for a BACKDROP ATTEMPT but Cole runs right through him, nailing him with a RUNNING PANAMA SUNRISE! THE FANS POP HUGE! The impact sends Orton flying back up to his knees and he's clearly out of it! Cole points at Orton with a finger gun and pulls the trigger!

"TIME TO SUCK! MY! DICK!"

Cole turns to hit the ropes but he sees something... unsettling... something... shocking! There's a hole opening up in the ring! Cole looks surprised! Britt Baker looks on from ringside in horror! The hole opens up... AND HERE COMES THE BIG SHOW! The former SGW Tag Team Champio Big Show attempts to crawl out of the hole he's made but Cole shakes his head, hits the ropes... AND NAILS BIG SHOW WITH THE LAST SHOT BEFORE HE'S EVEN HALFWAY OUT! BIG SHOW IS OUT AND HE FALLS RIGHT BACK IN THE HOLE, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN!

[ Scott Steiner ] WAS THAT THE GOD DAMN BIG SLOW!? HE LOOKS LIKE SHIT!

Before Cole can capitalize, Ken Kennedy and Chris Masters hit the ring and mug Cole! They begin putting the boots to him while Orton sits in the corner, regaining his composure. Suddenly, the fans pop huge... but why?! ARN ANDERSON, RICKY STEAMBOAT, and SHANE McMAHON are in the ring! Anderson and Steamboat each take Masters and Kennedy, pulling them off of Adam Cole! Arn Anderson whips Ken Kennedy into the ropes... SPINE BUSTERRRRRRRRRRR! Ken Kennedy rolls out of the ring, finished! Ricky Steamboat whips Chris Masters into the ropes... KUNG FU CHOPPPPPP! CHRIS MASTERS IS DONE! Orton is still in the corner... AND SHANE McMAHON FLIES... COAST TO COAST DROPKICK ON ORTON!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] WHAT... IS... HAPPENING!?

[ Tony Schiavone ] I can't believe my eyes! The past of Solid Gold Wrestling is banding together to combat this harsh new future!

Anderson begins gesturing toward the back... and here comes Aubrey Edwards, flanked by a couple of EMTs! Aubrey slides into the ring, being careful not to fall into the hole where Big Show disappeared! The EMTs begin checking on John Cena and eventually place him on a stretcher before carrying him to the back! Anderson, McMahon, and Steamboat get out of the ring and watch from ringside with Britt Baker! Adam Cole regains his footing and drags Orton out of the corner by his foot into the center of the ring! Cole covers him! Aubrey counts! ONE! TWO! THRE-- NO! ORTON GOT A SHOULDER UP! Adam Cole wastes no time! He snatches up Orton by the sides of his head and pulls him into a standing position. Cole flips Orton the double bird and shouts "FUCK YOU!" before hitting the ropes... CORONA KICK! ORTON DUCKS IT! He catches Cole on the turnaround! RKO! NO! Cole pushes Orton off! Orton rebounds off the ropes... SUPER KICK! SUPER KICKKKKKKKKKK! NO! ORTON DUCKS IT AND RUNS THROUGH... RKOOOOOOOOO!

[ Tony Schiavone ] DAMMIT! NOT LIKE THIS!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Exactly like this! You don't have to like it but it's bloody reality!

Orton stands up, pounding his chest in victory and--

THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

The fans gasp in surprise... and the lights come back on!

JEFF JARRETT IS IN THE RING WITH A GUITAR! THE FANS POP HUGE! Randy Orton doesn't see him yet! Orton looks confused and then slowly turns around... AND JEFF JARRETT SHATTERS THE GUITAR OVER ORTON'S HEAD! Aubrey Edwards calls for the bell!

WINNER & STILL CHAMPION - Randy Orton via Disqualification in 9:19

The fans are too caught up in the moment to boo the decision! Jarrett stands over Orton with the busted guitar in his hand. Shane McMahon, Arn Anderson, and Ricky Steamboat all look confused. The fans begin chanting "WELCOME BACK!"

[ Tony Schiavone ] I... I don't know what to say! When he did he wake up!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I have no idea! I'm bloody speechless!

[ Scott Steiner ] GOD DAMN RIGHT, CHOSEN ONE! WELCOME THE FUCK BACK!

Val Venis, Edge, and Christian have walked out onto the ramp, surveying the destruction at ringside! This hasn't turned out how anyone expected! Jeff Jarrett steps through the ropes and hops off the apron, onto the floor. Still clutching the broken guitar, he makes his way up the ramp where he's met by Venis, Edge, and Christian. Jarrett looks all three of them up and down before walking past them without saying a word.

[ Tony Schiavone ] What does this mean?! He attacked Randy Orton but... Randy Orton was exonerated! We know he didn't do it!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Your guess is as good as mine, Tony... there's only one way to find out and that's t' tune in to Card Subject to Change in two weeks!

[ Scott Steiner ] AWW WHAT KINDA CLIFFHANGER BULLSHIT IS THAT!? I WANNA KNOW NOW, GOD DAMMIT!

[ Tony Schiavone ] Everyone does, Scott!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Well, only one man knows and he jus' walked outta' here without sayin' a bloody word! As much as I hate t' say it, I think this is how it ends tonight, fellas! For Tony Schiavone and Scott Steina', I'm Nigel McGuinness and this... this is Solid Gold Wrestling!

The camera pans around the ringside area where we see Shane McMahon, Arn Anderson, and Ricky Steamboat in the ring with Britt Baker, checking on Adam Cole. Randy Orton hasn't moved an inch from the center of the ring with the frame of the guitar still around his neck. Venis, Edge, and Christian are making their way down the ramp to get a closer look. Chris Masters rolls into the ring with the SGW World Heavyweight Championship and lays it across Orton's chest. Ken Kennedy is on all fours next to the hole in the ring, waving his hand over the abyss and whispering "hello?" but receiving no answer from his former tag team partner.

This...

This isn't how 2019 was supposed to end!