07.18.2020 + The Asylum + Nashville, Tennessee

Commentators - Mauro Ranallo, Booker T., & Renee Young



Peter Avalon makes his way out to the ring, alone, holding a book in his hand, as he starts to open the book up he quickly slams it shut and starts to talk.

 

[ Peter Avalon ]: Shhhh… shhhh… shhhh. May I have your attention?
 

The crowd continues to boo loudly.

 

[ Peter Avalon ] I implore you to shut your mouths and listen, as you people have no clue what you’re talking about. Booing me? Have you thought about booing the guy, who plays cops and robbers, the man who is helping cops do their jobs. Don’t you guys want to hate that guy?

 

The crowd continues to boo.

 

[ Peter Avalon ] I don’t get why, each and every week, I step out here, I work hard, I fight. And I get fed to these inbreds here in Solid Gold Wrestling. As a man who has honor, who demands respect, who checks out books for you illiterate idiots, I expected more from you.

 

Avalon enters the ring, as the boos pour down.

 

[ Peter Avalon ] Fair, fair enough. I think I understand what’s going on here. Where are we? Nashville, Tennessee? Oh you people love the police, you love your government. We are in MAGA country. Bunch of inbred hicks. Bunch of losers here in Nashville. Why are we always in Nashville?

 

Avalon stops to talk, as he takes in more boos, suddenly, as he puts the microphone towards his mouth, out walks Steve Blackman, and we get the opening match underway.

 

PETER AVALON vs. STEVE BLACKMAN
REFEREE - Bryce Remsburg + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

The two start by staring down one another, as Avalon quickly goes and starts to put a side headlock on Blackman. Blackman, quickly powers out of it, and switches into a side headlock of his own. Avalon pushes himself against the ropes to try and get out of it, but quickly drops down to one knee as Blackman powers the hold on some more. 

 

Avalon finally gets out of the hold, by delivering some elbows to the gut of Blackman, who loosens the hold. Blackman doubles over as Avalon rushes towards him and delivers a kick to the side of the head, knocking Blackman down. Avalon goes for the cover, but Blackman quickly kicks out at one. Avalon takes a look at the referee to hurry up the count.

 

Blackman quickly gets up, and starts to deliver some strong stiff left and rights, and follows it up with a kick to the gut to Avalon. Avalon doubles over, and he grabs Blackman, and drops him down with a suplex. Again, Avalon goes for the cover, and gets a two count. Avalon thinks he won, and starts asking the referee to raise his hand. Avalon gets informed that the match is still going on, confusing Avalon.

 

Avalon turns around, and quickly gets a kick to the side of the face. Blackman makes the cover and gets the three count. Blackman gets up and celebrates the win.

+ WINNER +
STEVE BLACKMAN via PINFALL in 03:28

The crowd continues to cheer for Blackman, when suddenly three red balloons come up from beneath the ring. Suddenly, the lights turn off and when they turn back on, Blackman is surrounded by Chukles the Clown, Vincent and Tyler Bateman. Blackman squares up ready for a fight, before Vincent starts to talk.
 

[ Vincent ]: Steve man, don’t worry. I ain’t here to fight ya. I ain’t here to do anything scary to ya yet man. Nah, ya see Steve, I want you to celebrate your victory. I want you to be proud of your accomplishments, man.
 

Vincent walks into the ring and stares down Blackman, before starting to talk more.

 

[ Vincent ] In due time man, in due time. Relax, I’m not gonna hurt ya. I want you to understand something, man. I see that you’re doing things you’re not comfortable with. You’re not happy about it. And I think, I think I can help ya. I think I can make you realize that there’s stuff better on the other side Steve.

 

Blackman looks on at Vincent, still confused. But Vincent continues to speak.
 

[ Vincent ]: Well, since you're not getting it, I’ll let ya have some time to finally get what I’m saying. I’ll be seeing ya around, Steve. Because I lie in the shadows, and in the darkest part of your mind. Ya dig what I’m saying man?

 

Vincent stares at Blackman some more, before laughing at him and exiting the ring. Chuckles and Bateman stand next to him as Vincent’s music starts playing. Vincent starts dancing some, before the scene fades.

 

We get a video that plays earlier in the day, where it starts out in the women’s locker room, as the door suddenly swings open, we see Sonya and a bottle of Coca Cola that she hasn’t drunk from yet. She looks around for a second to check out the room and the type of people around the room.

 

[ Sonya Deville ]: Tastes kinda flat, like Becky's chest.
 

Sonya smirks at her own joke and begins to look for something until she sees the leather jacket, with the words firmly painted on saying “I AM THE MAN” on the back of the jacket. She smirks, looking down at the bottle in her hand and quickly speaks quietly to herself.
 

[ Sonya Deville ]: That’s a nice bag, Becky, be a real shame if something happens to it.

 

Sonya heads over to the bag of Becky’s and opens it up, placing it on the side. A few other members of the locker room clearly aren’t comfortable with this happening right in front of them, but they aren’t eager to stop it. Sonya opens up her bottle of Coca Cola, and pours it directly down into the open bag, frothing up and tarnishing it. Suddenly the locker room bathroom opens up.

 

[ Becky Lynch ]: Gals, I just thought of the funniest thing- wait! The fuck are you doing, chick dick?

 

[ Sonya Deville ]: Uh oh, I thought that was my bag, oops.

 

Sonya throws the bottle away, but it’s too late, it was three-quarters deep into the bag now. She heads out the door in a rather quick fashion. Becky chases after her, but Sonya quickly slams the door, to provide a bit of spacing and room to get out of dodge.

 

[ Becky Lynch ]: Come back here! Shit... girly the next time I see you, you’re gonna get whooped! Whooped I tell you!
 

Becky heads over to her flooded bag, and sulks down onto the bench for a second, and then remembers it’d be better off to try and wash it out sooner rather than later.

 

[ Becky Lynch ]: Just sit there why don’t ya?! Why didn’t any of you girlies do anything?

 

No response, but Becky doesn’t wait for one, she heads into the bathroom to try and sort her bag from this colossal act of spite from Sonya Deville.



The camera cuts to the designated backstage area of The Asylum to a shot of the tag team, J.O.B. Squad, who has remarkably made their way to Nashville, Tennessee after attempting to flee the country and go to Mexico.

[ Al Snow ] I still can’t believe it.

While their contract does not indicate anything of the sort, the J.O.B. Squad claims to be tag team only competitors and made a textbook effort this week to avoid their singles match obligations. Opting to try something different than their usual routine of faking their deaths or bribing their employers with priceless signed memorabilia of Michael Keaton, they decided to try and cross the border and start anew in a fresh place.

[ Al Snow ] He’s going to rip our heads off tonight. This is going to be like 1995 all over again.

However, Meanie outdid himself, screwing up in the most unpredictable of ways. The Blue Guy somehow managed to book their flight to Mexico to the wrong Mexico. That’s right. Then, when the team found themselves in the unfamiliar and terrifying Mexico, Indiana, The Blue Meanie would make the mistake of using his brain yet again.

[ Al Snow ] We need to do everything we can to avoid seeing Jim Cornette.

The J.O.B. Squad has been on a roll as of late. No, this isn’t a setup to mention the half-eaten box of Swiss Rolls Meanie has stowed away in his gear bag. And it certainly isn’t a segway to discuss Al Snow and the Blue Meanie’s winning streak. Having lost most recently to the team of Dolph Ziggler and Shark Boy. Two weeks prior they were able to secure their first tag team victory on Shock getting a quick win over Matt Riddle and Adam Page. The Blue Meanie, who has been talking to the Squad’s manager, HEAD, behind AL’s back in secret has done a helluva job screwing things up for the duo. After getting the team demoted to SHOCK from SGW’s main roster, then getting Al booked in singles competition with the greatest in-ring detective of our generation, The Great Khali, Meanie would accidentally outdo himself this week by not only booking a flight to the wrong Mexico, but being foolish enough to call the boss, Jim Cornette, and let him know what he had done.

[ The Blue Meanie ] I am sorry, Al. I didn’t know what else to do.

[ Al Snow ] Meanie, we were trying to flee the country to prove a point, to prove that we are tag team wrestlers… to prove that we don’t belong wrestling The Undertaker in singles competition in the main event. So, just because you booked the tickets to the wrong Mexico, why would you call Jim Cornette and let him know what we had done?

[ The Blue Meanie ] I didn’t know what else to do?

[ Al Snow ] Yes. I have been hearing that a lot lately. You didn’t know what else to do? The same thing we would have done had your big blue fingers landed us a correct flight to the correct Mexico. Assume new names, wear unassuming disguises, pretend to be kindly young gentlemen that are new in town. We’d lay low, only pausing in our adventures to help old ladies cross the road. When we knew for certain the coast was clear we would send word to HEAD. Some sort of cryptic postcard revealing that we were safe somewhere.

[ The Blue Meanie ] So, I don’t suppose you want to hear what else I did?

[ Al Snow ] What have you done, Meanie?

[ The Blue Meanie ] Well, after Cornette arranged for a private plane to take us from Mexico, Indiana to Tennessee so we could compete tonight… I called to let him know that we were in town…

[ Al Snow ] WHAT?!

The Blue Meanie: ...And that we had made it to the arena safely…

[ Al Snow ] Jesus, Meanie… he’s going to decapitate us with his racket. He’s going to gouge our eyes out… I have seen him do worse to better men.

Meanie shrugs Al’s concern off, digging around in his bag, looking for one of his lost Swiss Rolls.

[ The Blue Meanie ] I don’t know, Al. He didn’t seem angry. I know. I was surprised myself.

[ Al Snow ] Well… what did he say?

[ The Blue Meanie ] Just that you were going to have to compete in SGW’s Body Count match because... I guess… and I forgot about this… I guess I agreed for you to be eligible to be drafted, which you were… and… other than that… he just said we would be working for him on Shock wrestling in whatever kind of match he wants to put us in for free until the end of time or until he’s paid back for having to rent a private plane to fly us last minute from Mexico, Indiana to The Asylum.

[ Al Snow ] Meanie… what have you done…

[ The Blue Meanie ] I just told you. Weren’t you listening? Do you want me to tell you again? Usually, it upsets you when I repeat myself.

[ Al Snow ] We are going to be here wrestling for nothing... forever… Meanie, this is the worst job you’ve ever gotten us.

[ The Blue Meanie ] Nonsense. It could always be worse. Now, which shorts do you think I should wear against Matt Hardy tonight?

The scene fades as Meanie holds up two identical pairs of cut off jean shorts.

 



SCARLETT BORDEAUX vs. BECKY LYNCH
REFEREE - John Cone + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

Becky looks at Scarlett, who is taking her time entering the ring, and wants to sell to the crowd a bit. Becky starts to look at the referee asking for Scarlett to enter the ring. When Scarlett finally does, Becky rushes towards her and takes her down with a drop kick. Scarlett makes the quick cover, but Becky quickly kicks out before the referee can start their count.

 

Becky gets up and starts to place a wrist lock on Scarlett who quickly pushes herself away and grabs hold of the ropes, causing the referee to ask for a break. The referee starts to make the count and Becky breaks the count, but before yelling at the referee to let her do what she wants.

Becky takes a look around, and starts asking for the crowd's help.

 

Becky starts rushing towards the ropes, and she bounces herself off the ropes and she drops Scarlett down with a drop kick. Becky then starts to place some left and rights on Scarlett, but Scarlett rolls out of the ring to collect herself. Becky allows Scarlett to regroup, as the referee starts to make the count.


Scarlett gets back into the ring, and is quickly met with a Dis Arm Her from Becky. Scarlett starts to scream a bit as she is seeing her arm bend more and more. Scarlett goes towards the ropes, but Becky rolls her over, and continues to apply the pressure on the Dis Arm Her. Scarlett has no choice but to tap out, and as she does a loud snap is heard in the ring.

Becky quickly lets go, and rolls out of the ring with her hands in the air. Officials start to check on Scarlett who is screaming in a lot of pain.

+ WINNER +
BECKY LYNCH via SUBMISSION in 3:44



We go to somewhere in the backstage area, where Dr. Cube is holding on to someone. He stops as he notices people are staring at him, confused.
 

[ Dr. Cube ]: What?! I had someone to bring this week to Shock!

 

The person is starting to come too and starts to scream a bit as Dr. Cube starts to talk some more.

 

[ Dr. Cube ]: Now, now. Let me set you down. You have yourself a big match tonight. Wouldn’t want you on wobbly legs for it.

 

Dr. Cube places the person down, and takes the mask off of them, its Eve Torres.

 

[ Eve Torres ]: My friends, Tamina and Nia Jax, will get you!

 

[ Dr. Cube ]: They probably forgot you had a match, to be fair I kidnapped you, and you happened to get booked.

 

[ Eve Torres ]: You won’t get away with this.
 

[ Dr. Cube ]: I’ve gotten away with much worse Eve! Now, let’s go. You have a match to win.
 

Dr. Cube pushes Eve towards the front of the curtain, and tells her to get herself ready for the match. Eve sighs, and makes her way out to the ring.

 

SONYA DEVILLE vs. EVE TORRES
REFEREE - Bryce Remsburg + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

Sonya takes a look at Eve and starts laughing, knowing that this might be a quick and easy job for her. Sonya takes a look over at Eve, and starts rushing towards her, grabbing her by the hair, and then quickly slamming her down. Eve starts to yell at the referee to make sure her hair doesn’t get grabbed, and the referee starts to yell at Sonya to keep it clean.

 

Sonya starts to take a grab of Eve’s shoulder, but the two of them start exchanging left and rights before Sonya gets the advantage and punches Eve in the gut, knocking her down on one knee. Sonya then rushes back, and delivers a drop kick knocking Eve over. The cover is made, but Eve kicks out at one, as the referee gets up and asks them to continue to fight.
 

Sonya takes a look at Eve and quickly starts to scoff, and begins to put her in a choke hold. The referee starts to count to five, asking for Sonya to stop with the hold, but Eve switches up with a neck lock and continues to wrench the hold more and more. Sonya gets to the ropes and Eve lets go of the hold.
 

Sonya then gets up slowly, and starts to rush towards Eve with a strong drop kick to the side of her head. Sonya makes the cover, and gets a two count, before Sonya can do anything else, Becky Lynch comes back out, and places Eve in a Dis Arm Her. The referee asks for the bell, as Sonya is in disbelief. Sonya then starts to place Becky in an ankle lock as the referee continues to call for the bell.

 

+ WINNER +
EVE TORRES via DISQUALIFICATION in 5:07

Other officials come out to help the referee as they try to pull Becky off Eve and Sonya off Becky. The two finally break their holds and start attacking one another again, with Sonya quickly exiting out of the ring, when Becky starts to try and apply the Dis Arm Her to Sonya. Sonya starts to laugh and points to her head letting Becky know she has the smarts to get out of the hold.

 

We suddenly see Abyss come out from the bag and lift Eve on his shoulders. Eve is struggling once again to come to, and  once she realizes what’s going on, starts screaming in disbelief. Dr. Cube makes his way back out there to make Abyss bring Eve to him.

 

 

We fade up backstage and find Kat Marino standing in front of the SGW interview backdrop. She looks off camera with a nervous look on her face but speaks to the camera, trying to remain as normal as possible.

[ Kat Marino ]: Um.. ladies and gentlemen.. Eddie Dennis..

We hear grunting from off-camera as Eddie Dennis walks into the shot, dragging Pinkie Sanchez behind him.

[ Kat Marino ]: And.. oh my goodness.. Pinkie Sanchez.

Eddie throws Pinkie down face first on the concrete floor and plants his foot in the center of his back. The crowd boos loudly as Eddie smiles and points down at Pinkie, shaking his head with amusement. Pinkie grunts loudly, unable to stand.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: Now, now, Pinkie. Don’t me rude whilst I speak wit’ de’ lady.

Eddie turns to look at Kat. 

[ Eddie Dennis ]: I imagine yew must have questions, lady.

[ Kat Marino ]: Well, sure I do but… you’re the one who asked me to interview—

[ Eddie Dennis ]: JOOST FOLLOW DE’ SCRIPT WHICH YEW WERE GIVEN, KAT MARINOOO!

She swallows hard.

[ Kat Marino ]: …Eddie Dennis, why is it that you’ve targeted Pinkie Sanchez? What… what do you hope to achieve by—

She thinks it over, wondering if she should say what Eddie Dennis has told her to say.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: YES! YES! SAY IT!

She sighs.

[ Kat Marino ]: …what do you hope to achieve by… making him your little…

She rolls her eyes.

[ Kat Marino ]: …your little bitch boy.

Eddie chuckles and looks down at Pinkie, then back up at Kat.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: Isn’t it obvious, Kat Marino? Christophurr Dickinson walks ‘round ‘ere wit’ his head held high, holding that bloody staff o’er his fookin’ ‘ead… callin’ ‘imself the Dirty Daddy of SGW SHAWK! And all the while, this little man… this little beetch boy, Pinkie Sanchez, stands by his side, proppin’ im up… he’s been by ‘is side since de’ beginnin’, yea’? Well, not anymore.

Pinkie tries to stand and Eddie forces him back down.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: I’M YER DIRTY DADDY NOW, PINKIE!

Eddie turns and looks at Kat.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: BIG MATCH EDDIE… WILL BECOME DIRTY DADDY EDDIE NOW!

He grins.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: Unless Christophurr gives me… what… I… want! And what… I… want… isn’t a bogus tag match with D’Lo Brown ‘n fookin’ Otis! Give me de’ match, Christophurr! Give me de’ match! Or I shall END this weak little BEETCH, right ‘ere ‘n now! I weel not STOP, Christophurr… de’ beating WILL NOT STOP… ‘til I have my hands… ON YOUR STAFF!

Kat covers her mouth to stifle a giggle. Eddie looks at her, confused.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: What? WHAT ARE YEW LAUGHING AT?!

[ Kat Marino ]: Nothing! Nothing, I swear.

Eddie stands over her, breathing heavily through his nose.

[ Eddie Dennis ]: Whatever. I dun care. Now, thank me for de’ interview ‘n send it back t’ de’ ring.

She nods.

[ Kat Marino ]: Of course… yeah. Thank you, Eddie—

[ Eddie Dennis ]: NO! SAY THANK YOU, DIRTY DADDY EDDIE!

[ Kat Marino ]: …thank you, Dirty Daddy Eddie… back to you, Mauro.

Eddie Dennis picks Pinkie up by his hair and drags him off camera, leaving Kat alone, looking defiled in front of the SGW interview backdrop.

 



Dolph Ziggler already stands in the ring, stretching himself out. He hops up and down, seeming focused yet his face suggests a nonchalant arrogance.

 

Suddenly “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” blares over the speakers, which garners a mixed reaction from the crowd. Hacksaw used to get exclusively cheers, but given his recent explicit MAGA endorsements, quite a few boos reign in.

 

The old man’s dressed to compete, his overly tight blue ring trunks allowing his gargantuan gut to pour out of them more than they should ever be allowed.


Otis stands behind him in street clothes, timid, as Hacksaw points threateningly towards Ziggler with his 2x4.

[ 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan ]: HEY FELLA! You thought you’d get your hands on Otis tonight, but the fact of the matter is, my tough whippersnapper isn’t ready yet! He’s definitely not ready to handle YOU with everything on the line! With so much money at stake! ...BUT THIS YOUNG STUD IS!

Duggan pushes both hands onto his hips and puffs out his chest in trademark fashion, proud of his grotesque physique. Ziggler shakes his head, repulsed. 
 

[ 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan ]: And I’ll tell you something else, brother! Not only can I handle the stakes, but I think we should UP THE STAKES! If ol’ HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN wins? Not only do we get to keep the one-hundred thousand BUCKS that WE FOUND, all those sexxxxxxxyyy Benny Franklins!...BUT I SAY WE MAKE IT DOUBLE OR NOTHIN’! If I win? Otis and I walk outta’ Nashville with 300 thousand!


Ziggler, still shaking his head incredulously, snags a microphone. 
 

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: ...First off? It’d be 200 thousand, dipstick. Can you even do math?


The remark baffles Duggan, who starts apparently doing math with his fingers, counting them up.

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: But you know what? You got it, Hack. 200k on the line. Winner takes all. Right now.

Duggan nods, enthused. He drools everywhere he’s so eager, his tongue sticking out.

 

[ 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan ]: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!...


He marches towards the ring but before he can even fully slide in, Ziggler gives him the boots, simultaneously barking at the official to sound the bell.

 

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. 'HACKSAW' JIM DUGGAN
REFEREE - John Cone + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

The onslaught’s relentless as Ziggler continually stomps away. Duggan crawls to the corner and Ziggler just sustains it, grabbing onto the ropes for leverage as he stomps away at Duggan’s neck, the same area Sonya Deville weakened last week with her triangle choke on the oldtime patriot.

 

Duggan reaches out desperately, claiming he can’t breathe to the official, gasping for air. Ziggler doesn’t permit the official to check on him, blatantly choking out Duggan with his boot, pressing down with authority. Hacksaw grunts and coughs in agony. The official’s forced to shove Ziggler off and finally checks on Hacksaw, who can be heard saying, albeit in fragmented speech…”maybe if I were one of the coloreds you would’ve checked on me faster!”. That remark seems to repulse the official, who would possibly have stepped away even if Duggan weren’t still fit to continue.

 

Ziggler drags Hacksaw up by the hair, slapping him in the face a few times. Duggan staggers back and forth, groggy and barely able to stand. The old man’s seen way, waaaaaaaaay better days.
 

“The Show-Off” darts off the ropes and hits Duggan with the Zig-Zag, but for some reason doesn’t bother making the cover. He turns and points out at Otis on the outside, who fears for his beleaguered mentor. “You better not pick him out of the trash too!”, Ziggler shouts out with an embittered gaze. Ziggler re-approaches Duggan, grabbing him from behind and into a triangle choke of his own, seemingly something he learned from his buddy Sonya. Duggan waves his arms out desperately. He has no shot. He smartly taps out, possibly not as dumb as he looks. ...And acts. But even as the bell sounds, Ziggler sustains the hold, applying increasing pressure if anything. Eventually he releases.

+ WINNER +
DOLPH ZIGGLER via PINFALL in 2:43

Placated, for now anyway, Ziggler stares down remorseless at the fallen Duggan, calling for a microphone. He gets one, turning his flat gaze to Otis.


[ Dolph Ziggler ]: ...So. Where were we, dipshit? Oh yeah. You now owe me 200 thousand dollars.

Ziggler chuckles, satisfied.

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: And while we’re at it? I have an announcement to make. To you and to everybody out here tonight. And it’s about Body Count. 

He nods, rotating his glare between Otis and the crowd.


[ Dolph Ziggler ]: You may not know this. Or maybe you do. But at Body Count, I’m the captain of a team. And that team serves one goal, and one goal only: vindicating Dolph Ziggler.

The crowd boos.

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: ...Look. I’ve only been here what? A couple months? And I’ve been relegated to this dumpster fire of a show, where delusional “superheroes” and crazies shooting bows and arrows are the supposed highlights. Where a lumbering nobody who claims he’s a detective and can’t even throw a punch...who probably knows even less moves than this idiot?


Ziggler points down at Hacksaw, who still doesn’t move. 
 

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: Somebody like HIM is one of the most popular acts. ...But then again, I guess that’s where we are in wrestling, isn’t it? ...I guess that’s just where we are. Because it isn’t that different up there is it? ...No. It isn’t. Outside of this vapid bubble of Nashville, things really AREN’T that much better. Not only is it the land of the guy with the boxhead, but you have a geriatric who can barely work as the World Champion. Sorry...who can barely walk. Hell, he can’t do EITHER ONE but THAT is supposed to be your champion?


He shakes his head, disgusted.

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: I’ll tell you what, chicks and germs. I’m gonna change that. Dolph Ziggler!...is gonna change that. But it’s not because I should. It’s not because I have to. It’s not because I need to bring “revolution” to the wrestling industry or “to save it from The Origin” or “to take it from the corporate suits in charge and give it back its integrity!”....nah. It’s just because I want to. Because I deserve it. Because I am entitled to it. ...That’s a scary word, isn’t it? “Entitlement”. Anybody with a name worth anything in this business...they always say they have to be their own person. Be their own man, or own woman. But I say...that’s bullshit. If you people had any balls at all, IF ANY OF YOU HAD ANY BALLS AT ALL, THEN KEVIN NASH WOULDN’T BE THE WORLD CHAMPION!

The loudest boos yet. His face is 1000% intense. After a few beats, he exhales.

 

[ Dolph Ziggler ] ...Now, you gotta be asking. Who’s on my team? Who was one of my “precious” draft picks? Well, right now, I’m announcing the first man. And he’s in the ring as I speak.


He grins cunningly.

Otis, who has been concerned about Hacksaw the whole time, has been reluctant to get into the ring with Ziggler commanding it. But judging by his enraged face, he could be running out of patience.

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: Hacksaw. Jim. Duggan.

 

He cackles.

 

Otis is not only enraged, but confused.

 

[ Dolph Ziggler ]: See, you have that lame-o Aldis who’s trying to draft every reject in the world just to prove he can win in spite of them, but I raise him one better. Because if I can win it all with this jackwad on my team? Then it’ll just go one step further, on top of the World Heavyweight Title gold around my waist...to prove that I have ALWAYS been the best.

 

Ziggler drops the microphone, satisfied, as it causes a loud thud.

 

Otis has finally had it, storming into the ring. But ever timely, Ziggler slides right out. The crowd jeers passionately as Otis checks on Hacksaw.

 

Backstage, we see Dr. Cube yelling and raising his arms like crazy over a slow and confused Abyss. Abyss still holding on to Eve, is quickly yelled at by Cube.
 

[ Dr. Cube ]: No you idiot, I told you to put her down!

 

Abyss listens, and slowly places her down tot he ground. With her hands tied, she quickly takes a look at Dr. Cube, who quickly starts to speak.

[ Dr. Cube ]: Silence Eve! I cannot believe you won tonight either! But, thanks to that dastardly curmudgeon, Becky Lynch here we are. So now, what? What am I going to do. I guess, now I have a reason to stick around this crummy show as well, as now I, I am your supreme being! I am now your good luck charm, something, something.

Abyss  starts to smell Eve's hair, which is troubling, and quite confusing to her. She moves slowly away from Abyss, and towards Dr. Cube.

[ Dr. Cube ]: Right, now come with me Eve, and I will make you feel all the great wonders of the world. I don't know, I think that shit sounds about right. Abyss, would you quit sniffing her hair, you're embarrassing my queen!

Abyss  puts his head down in shame, as the three walk off.



SARAH LOGAN vs. HYPER MISAO
REFEREE - Bryce Remsburg + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

Sarah Logan and Hyper Misao stare each other down in the ring, the former crouching down against a corner turnbuckle, with Hyper Misao glancing on concerned.

Sarah shoves her hands into her trunks and yanks something out: a big butcher’s knife, the same one that Hyper Misao stuck in her locker on the previous episode of Shock in an attempt to notify Sarah that she wanted to apologize to her.

Hyper Misao’s eyes bulge out of her head, even detectable through her mask, as Sarah licks over the sharp edges of the knife, enamored with it and cackling to herself. The official steps forward, but not too close, demanding Sarah hand the knife over or else she’ll be disqualified. But the viking rightly shouts out the match hasn’t started and suddenly rushes to her feet, charging towards Hyper Misao with the knife as she belts out a shrieking warcry. Hyper Misao gets the hell out of dodge and paces back and forth on the outside, indecisive and worried about her next act.

The crowd urges on Hyper Misao, chanting her name. This angers Sarah who shouts that she’ll dismember them like she did Bugs Bunny if they don’t shut up, eliciting plenty of boos. Out of nowhere Hyper Misao hoists a microphone, pointing towards Sarah from the outside of the ring. She talks Japanese as the words appear translated, realtime, on the tron.


[ Hyper Misao ]: <Sarah Logan! So sorry about this! You did not take the right message! I did not invite you to the ring for a wrestling contest. I invited you to the ring to absolutely desecrate you! And make you wish you didn’t besmirch the great hero that is Hyper Misao!>


Sarah follows the words on the tron, furious, threatening Hyper Misao with the knife once again, screaming incoherently and the only thing we can catch her saying is “gay meat”. Hyper Misao’s baffled.


[ Hyper Misao ]: <What? Why are you still angry? You need to accept that your place in the world is not as my equal, but as my fodder! ...You are a career sidekick, Sarah! Former sidekick of the birdwoman, but forget being sidekick. You could not even hold my bicycle!>


Hyper Misao notices Sarah’s sustained frustration. She grows suspicious, glancing back at the tron, which keeps a running tab of all the words that have been translated. She’s scared shitless when she sees them, forcing out her following words in English, waving her arms out.

[ Hyper Misao ]: No! ...Sarah! Viking QUEEN! I wanted...to apologize! Ask you to ring...to apologize! For not eating the meat!


Said viking “queen” is still clearly incensed, standing on the top rope closest to Hyper Misao, the tip of the knife pointing right at the green superhero. Hyper Misao shudders.


[ Hyper Misao ]: No need!...for conflict! Translator did not work...as should!

Sarah’s had enough, jumping off the turnbuckle with the knife in hand, trying to carve it straight through the heart of the hero, but thankfully Hyper Misao rolls out of the way. The roll was far from graceful, she even almost hit her head against the steel steps, but it did what it needed to. Hyper Misao starts scampering away from ringside, realizing her life is at stake, and needing to regroup.

The knife drops to the mat but Sarah doesn’t bother picking it up again, desperately wanting to track down the hero. Hyper Misao glares behind her and sees her oncoming attacker. The cameras pan over to the viking before a bunch of green glitter flies in the air, overtaking the entire entrance ramp. By the time the glitter dissipates...Hyper Misao is just still right there. And so is Sarah, who’s simply just covered in green dust and more pissed than before. She goes to charge back towards Hyper Misao but slips on all the glitter. It’s basically turned the ramp into quicksand there’s such a huge volume of it. With Sarah stuck on her ass, Hyper Misao sees this opportunity to fight another day. She hops onto her trusty bicycle and pedals off. Not out of cowardice, but out of fear. She was a humble hero, and knew when she had to go back to the drawing board. Finally she accepted that the hunt was on. 

By the time Sarah climbs to her feet, covered in the green heap that Hyper Misao put her in, she’s beside herself, shouting more vitriol about gay meat and how her and the “screechy-ass goblin” will see each other again.

+ WINNER +
NO CONTEST at 04:21



Backstage, Al Snow and Blue Meanie are in the locker room discussing the events of tonights Shock.


[ Al Snow ]: So, singles matches. Ya know Meanie, I can’t believe they’re doin’ this to us. We came in as a team. How hard is it for ol’ Jimmy to understand that.


[ Blue Meanie ]: I don’t know Al, but I have to face Matt Hardy, and he’s kinda weird.


Al turns to Meanie and starts to laugh a bit.

[ Blue Meanie ]: What’s so funny?

[ Al Snow ] You, calling someone weird, that’s funny to me.

[ Blue Meanie ]: Oh.. I mean, he thinks he’s some.. I don’t even know how to put it. It just seems weird, Al.

[ Al Snow ]: Well, ya can’t go for the hot tag, there’s none of that tonight.

[ Blue Meanie ]: I.. I don’t want to do this.

Al puts his arm on Meanie’s shoulders.

[ Al Snow ]: Meanie, me either! I got Undertaker tonight, yet, we have to do it, because we were asked to do so.

[ Blue Meanie ]: I.. I guess.

[ Al Snow ]: Plus, what’s the worst that can happen anyway?

Meanie nods, as Al walks out of the locker room as the scene fades.

 



THE BLUE MEANIE vs. MATT HARDY
REFEREE - John Cone + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

The two get in the ring, as Meanie looks around and sees no Al Snow in sight, as he is not on the apron waiting for the tag. Matt is looking at Meanie smirking, and telling him that it’ll be wonderful, and some other weird stuff that starts to frighten Meanie a bit. Meanie goes over to Matt and starts to get a hold on him, but Matt pushes him back and starts to do the “Delete” gesture to the delight of the crowd.

 

Meanie looks back at his corner, to still see no Al in sight, but he quickly starts to gain some steam and starts heading towards Matt. Matt sees this and tells him to stop, which Meanie listen as Matt quickly follows up with a poke to the eye. Meanie holds his eyes as his screams in pain, and quickly gets rolled up by Matt, but Meanie quickly kicks out at one.

 

Meanie gets up and starts to deliver some left and rights, followed by a suplex. Meanie makes the cover, but gets a one count as he starts to scream for the referee to count faster so this can end. The referee takes a look at Meanie, and reminds him that it was only a one count. Meanie grabs Matt by the head again, and then takes a look at the turnbuckle and starts to smash his head on the turnbuckle. 


The referee asks Meanie to let go of the hold, but Meanie refuses to listen. Meanie gets himself off of Matt and moves away from the corner
. Meanie quickly takes a running start at Matt and knocks him down flat on the ground. Meanie smirks, and then starts the slow climb to the top rope, where Meanie then dives off, and completes the Meanie-Sault and gets the three count for the victory.

+ WINNER +
BLUE MEANIE via PINFALL in 05:17



We go backstage, where Colt Cabana and Jim Cornette are just sitting there in silence. Colt then breaks the silence by talking.
 

[ Colt Cabana ]: Ya’ know Jim, with me being a captain of Team Nose for Body Count, I think I should ya’ know, get in the ring and have some matches. What do ya’ say?
 

Cornette looks at Colt, and starts screaming.
 

[ Jim Cornette ]: YOU NO GOOD, MOTHER FUCKING IDIOTIC MOTHER FUCKER! YOU THINK I’D LET YOU DISGRACE MY RING?!
 

[ Colt Cabana ]: No, I wouldn’t want to wrestle on Shock, I’d probably like to go on one of the main Solid Gold Wrestling shows.

 

[ Jim Cornette ]: NO! THANK YOU FUCK YOU BYE! YOU FAT TUB OF SHIT CAN’T EVEN TIE BOTH YOUR SHOES!

 

Colt looks down to see one of his shoes untied, suddenly, busting in is Chris Dickinson.

 

[ Chris Dickinson ]: GIMME FUCKIN’ DENNIS!
 

Cornette looks up at him, utterly disgusted.
 

[ Jim Cornette ]: YOU COME INTO MY FUCKING OFFICE, WITHOUT THAT FUCKING SPEAR?! YOU CALL YOURSELF A CHAMPION?!
 

[ Colt Cabana ]: Uh, it’s a staff Jim.

 

[ Jim Cornette ]: SHUT UP FATSO! CHRIS LEMME GET THIS STRAIGHT, YOU WANT EDDIE DENNIS?
 

Dickinson nods.
 

[ Jim Cornette ]: TWO WEEKS! YOU AND EDDIE DENNIS! FOR THAT FUCKING TRIDENT!

 

Dickinson nods, before leaving the room. Cornette looks at Cabana and speaks.

 

[ Jim Cornette ]: Now that, that’s how you run a fucking show Cabana!

 



CARLITO vs. THE GREAT KHALI
REFEREE - Bryce Remsburg + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

Carlito looks over at Khali, and doesn’t know how to attack. He takes a look at the referee, who shrugs back himself and the two lock up, but it's quickly finished to the point where Khali just throws Carlito down to the mat. Carlito looks over and quickly realizes what kind of fight it's going to be and gets back on his feet.


Carlito rushes towards Khali, and quickly gets knocked down buy running into Khali. Khali smirks as he realizes there’s not much he has to do, but quickly gets poked in the eye by Carlito. Carlito gets the quick advantage, and quickly looks on and decides to deliver a drop kick, to get Khali down to one knee.

Carlito runs towards the ropes and bounces off them to deliver another drop kick knocking Khali down to the mat. Carlito makes the cover, but gets thrown over the referee before the count of one was even made. Carlito looks on annoyed, as he thought he had the advantage over Khali. Knowing that wasn’t the case, he gets back up and continues the attack.

Carlito starts to try and put Khali in some sort of hold, but he cannot get his arms around Khali’s neck. Khali laughs him off and delivers a side slam, only getting a two count. Carlito then starts to look around, and wants to grab an apple from his corner, and when he turns around, he quickly is met by a Mongolian Chop from Khali, who quickly makes the cover and gets the three count for the victory.

+ WINNER +
THE GREAT KHALI via PINFALL in 04:14



Backstage, we’re seeing Hangman Page getting ready to go out to the ring but is quickly stopped by Carlito who is coming back from his match against Khali. Page starts to speak.

 

[ Hangman Page ]: Looks like ya’ had your fun out there against Khali tonight.


Carlito looks at Hangman, as he continues to speak.

[ Hangman Page ]: Why don’t ya’ watch me put short work to Eddie Dennis, and then, maybe we can have a drink or two, and I can share strategy on how to win around here.
 

Carlito's eyes widened.


[ Carlito ]: WIN?! You gon’ tell me how to win. Nah, das not cool. You couldn’t even beat me, cowboy!

[ Hangman Page ]: That was a fluke. I know I could beat you given a fair fight, Carlito.

[ Carlito ]: Nah, I.. I don’t think so mang.


Carlito takes a bite of an apple and spits it in the face of Hangman. Before Hangman can do anything, his theme hits as Carlito smirks.

[ Carlito ]: Good luck out dere tonight mang, I think Eddie is a bit pissed.

Hangman goes out to the ring, and we get ready for the next match.


 

'HANGMAN' ADAM PAGE vs. EDDIE DENNIS
REFEREE - John Cone + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

Page is still wiping off the apple on his face, as Eddie looks on at Page laughing a bit before the two locking up. Eddie quickly lets go after realizing Page still has apple all over him, and asks for him to be cleaned off before the two wrestle. Page shakes his head, and grabs a towel and starts cleaning himself off, as he does, Eddie drop kicks Page down, as he falls flat on his face.
 

Page gets in the ring, and starts to look over at Eddie who's waiting for him to get back in. Page rushes towards Eddie, and the two start to fire shots back and forth on one another, before Page gets the upper hand, and slams him down hard on the mat. Eddie grabs his face, as its starting to hurt a bit, yet Eddie gets back up and starts to fight some more.
 

Eddie grabs Page by the hair and slams him down head first on the mat. Page starts to hold the back of his head, as the slam may have knocked him a bit loopy, but Page gets up and starts to fight a bit more. Page starts to take Eddie and sets him up for a fall away slam, but Eddie gets out of it and rakes Page in the eye.


Page grabs his face as he’s having trouble to see and starts to swing his arms aimlessly, as we see him struggle to land a punch. Dennis quickly rushes over to Page and delivers a drop kick, knocking Page flat off his feet. Dennis then starts laughing some before grabbing Page and picking him up before delivering a Neck Stop Driver for the three count and the victory.

+ WINNER +
EDDIE DENNIS via PINFALL in 05:21



We go backstage and see Al Snow preparing for his match against the Undertaker tonight. As he continues to get ready, Blue Meanie walks back in and starts to talk to Al.


[ Blue Meanie ]: That was tough!

[ Al Snow ]: I know! It looked like it was a little tough.

[ Blue Meanie ]: Are you ready for tonight?

Al looks at Meanie, confused on what he’s talking about.

[ Blue Meanie ]: You told me you have a match with Undertaker tonight, main event!


[ Al Snow ]: Oh yeah, that’s right. I was wondering why I was getting ready for a match. I’m gonna miss you out there tonight.

[ Blue Meanie ]: Yeah, it’s just not going to be the same.

[ Al Snow ]: Listen, we have a tag team match in two weeks.

[ Blue Meanie ]: You sure?

Al Snow: No, but I’m going to make sure we are a team.
 

Al looks around as he continues to get ready for his match, as we go back to the ring.
 



SHARK BOY vs. BRAY WYATT
REFEREE - Bryce Remsburg + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

Bray is slow to get into the ring, as he looks Shark Boy up and down, and takes a look at what he has to face. Harper, Rowan and Abadon are on each side of the ring, as they take a look at their leader and nod in approval. Wyatt slowly makes his way to Shark Boy and the two lock up, with Wyatt taking advantage putting Shark Boy in a headlock.
 

Wyatt lets go of the hold, and he quickly smirks and starts laughing at Shark Boy, quickly stopping and asking for a microphone.

 

[ Bray Wyatt ]: Fish man, look at you. Look at the world around you. Now look at everything disappearing around you.

 

Shark Boy stares at Bray.
 

[ Bray Wyatt ]: Everything collapsing around you. Don’t you worry. Naw, you don’t have to fear me fish man, but.. But I can offer you things you never dreamed of. Join us, and let us lead you to great things.
 

Bray sticks his hand out, asking for Shark Boy to take his hand and join him. Shark Boy looks at Bray, and quickly rushes to him and drop kicks him down to the mat. Bray rolls out of the ring, and laughs, he starts to speak once more.
 

[ Bray Wyatt ]: You made your choice I see, fish man. Your loss, your funeral friend.

 

Bray rushes back in and takes Shark Boy down with a closeline, and then starts to drop him with another closeline before Bray starts to laugh a bit, and lazily puts his foot on Shark Boy. Before the referee can count, Shark Boy kicks out, as Bray starts to get a bit more serious, dropping down to one knee and applying a side headlock.


Shark Boy gets hold of the ropes, which breaks the hold up, frustrating Bray. Bray takes a look around the ring, as the two of them lock up once again. Shark Boy pushes himself off of Bray, and hits the Stunner. Bray goes flying. Shark Boy crawls over to Bray, and covers getting the three count and victory.

 

+ WINNER +
SHARK BOY via PINFALL in 11:08

Shark Boy gets up off of Bray, as the referee raises his hand. Shark Boy takes a look around, and notices Rowan, Harper and Abadon enter the ring. Abadon quickly rolls out, as she directs traffic for both Rowan and Harper to drag Bray out of the ring.

The lights go dark, and quickly turn back on as the Wyatt Family has disappeared. Shark Boy looks on and just shrugs, as he celebrates his victory.



Backstage, Carlito is shown talking with Jesus, when Hangman walks on by.


[ Carlito ]: Damn, mang. Another loss for ya. I gotta tell ya mang, I think you don’t have yer head on straight.

 

Hangman stares at Carlito, who doesn’t say a word. Carlito smirks, and we hear more from Carlito.

 

[ Carlito ]: Alright, alright mang. You do what chu’ want. But remember on thing mang, I’m cooler than you, better than you, and if I remember correctly, beat you once.
 

Hangman gets in Carlito’s face.
 

[ Hangman Page ]: THAT WAS A FLUKE.. I bet yer damn ass, ya’ can’t do it again.


Carlito, steps back and takes a bite of an apple. It looks like he’s about to spit on Hangman again, but before he does, steps back and chuckles. He speaks.

 

[ Carlito ]: Das.. Das not cool, mang. Lemme tell ya somethin’, if chu’ can get us a match, I can show you that you.. You’re not cool.
 

Hangman nods as he storms off, walking away from Carlito. Carlito looks back at Jesus and starts talking.

 

[ Carlito ]: Interrupting Carlito? Now das no cool, mang.

 

The scene fades as Carlito shakes his head.

 

THE UNDERTAKER vs. AL SNOW
REFEREE - John Cone + TIME LIMIT - 15:00

The Undertaker stands in the ring as Al Snow slowly makes his way in, fearful for his life. As he stares at his side of the ring, with no Meanie in sight, Al sighs and he quickly starts to go after Undertaker, who quickly moves out of the way and is met with the turnbuckle pads. Al turns around and is quickly met with some left and rights from Undertaker.

 

Undertaker slows down the offense, and quickly works on working over his arm and shoulder, as he slowly starts applying pressure, as Al starts to scream a bit in pain, asking for Undertaker to release some of the pressure on his arm. Undertaker just applies the hold harder as Al gets his left arm on the ropes asking for his mercy.
 

Al rolls out of the ring to regroup as Undertaker stands watching all sides of the ring to see what Al’s going to do next. As Al rushes back in the ring, he drops Undertaker with a drop kick, and quickly makes the cover for an one count. Undertaker shakes his head, and asks Al if that’s all he’s got, which Al just nods and says yep.


Al starts to grab Undertaker, and starts to deliver some left and rights which confuses Undertaker as he wasn’t expecting this at all. Undertaker pushes Snow off a bit, before grabbing Snow by his neck, lifting him up and delivering a Chokeslam. Undertaker then grabs the downed Snow and lifts him upside down, before going down for a Tombstone Piledriver. Undertaker covers Snow, and gets a three count as Undertaker gets a win over Snow.

+ WINNER +
THE UNDERTAKER via PINFALL in 08:58



We rush backstage, where we see Eddie Dennis, standing over a downed Chris Dickinson.


[ Eddie Dennis ]: See ya’ in two weeks, Christophfurrr!

The scene fades as Dickinson screams in pain as the scene fades.