SHOCK: Broken Road | January 28th, 2006 | Live From: Miami, Florida | Commentators: Joey Styles & Don Callis
[ Lance Storm ] If I can be serious for a minute.....
-[[ The boos get even LOUDER.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Excuse me.. But I am speaking.. And as the leader of the one and only, TRUE Team Canada.. And as one of the only true WRESTLING talents... In this entire promotion... I deserve to be shown the proper respect.... And I WILL... Be heard....... So, let's try this one more time........
-[[ He clears his throat.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] If I can be serious for a minute.....
-[[ Even louder boos... Storm looks irritated and Jericho grabs Storm's wrist and yanks the microphone in front of his own mouth.. Jericho sounds annoyed as well, but not so much with the fans.. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] No offense, Lance.. But get on with it, you jack ass!!
-[[ Small pop for the disrespect shown toward Storm.. Storm looks away, now seething with anger.. Mike Awesome stomps over and grabs Storm's wrist and pulls the microphone to HIS mouth now.. Jericho rolls his eyes as Awesome yells right in his face. ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] MAYBE I'LL JACK YOUR FUCKIN' ASS, JERICHO!! MAYBE YOU'LL GET.. ALL.. JACKED.. THE FUCK!! UP!!! YEAH!! DO YOU HEAR THAT!? YEAH!! RIGHT HERE!!
-[[ Jericho then yanks Storm's wrist back over to his mouth. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] Was that a threat or are you asking me out on a date, Mikey?
-[[ Awesome's eyes go wide and he starts to grab Storm's wrist, but Storm yanks it away, now looking absolutely furious.. He raises one hand in the air, hoping to silence Awesome and Jericho before this escalates any further.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Enough.. We are here for a reason.. A common goal..
-[[ Storm looks each man up and down.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] A goal that we must stand together to achieve.... Divided, we will fall, because the voice of one man does not matter..... But together, people will listen.... Because we are more... Than one.. Man..
-[[ Storm shakes his head, realizing how stupid that sounded and then cuts himself off. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Irrelevant.. Is the fact that you two may not like each other.. What is relevant.. Is that there are imposters.. A false Team Canada.. That seeks to demean and violate our prestigious image..... And before I go any further, I would like to thank our associate, Chris Jericho.. While he is not an official member of of our illustrious group, he has shown us the proper respect and sided with us in this trying time....
-[[ Jericho shrugs his shoulders like he really doesn't give a shit.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] But last week, a travesty occurred... For last week, Kurt Angle's Olympic Gold medals were stolen.. And the good name of Team Canada was dragged through the proverbial gutter before the true culprit was revealed... The culprit who has deemed himself "The Canadian Destroyer" Petey Williams..... And if he could not offend us... And our fans.. Any more.. He took it one step further.......
-[[ "SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP! *clap clap - clapclapclap*" chants begin as Storm's boring promo is turning the fans off faster than Val Venis' return to the big time[zing]... Storm looks irritated, but continues regardless.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] He stole Kurt Angle's medals.. And he stole our name.. He stole it out of spite, because, no offense to the talent of Mister Williams, I did reject his membership to Team Canada.. It was not a judgment of his talent, for I think Petey Williams is a phenomenal athlete... But unfortunately, for the time being, Team Canada...... Is a full house.
-[[ Awesome yanks Storm's wrist over with force. ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] YEAH!! A FULL HOUSE!! LIKE JOHN FUCKIN' STAMOS!! AND DAVE COULIER!! AND THE FUCKIN' OLSEN TWINS!! FULL FUCKIN' HOUSE!! KIMMY GIBBLER, YEAH!! RIGHT THE FUCK HERE!! RIGHT HERE!!
-[[ Storm yanks his arm away from Awesome and stares a hole right through him. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Mike, that is it.. Go stand behind the flag.
-[[ Awesome kicks at the ground, pouting suddenly. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] I'll not tell you again.
-[[ Awesome goes to the corner and holds the Canadian flag in front of him, obscuring his body from the view of the television audience and some of the live audience... Storm shakes his head with disgust... ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] As I was saying.. Petey Williams.. You have disrespected not only us.. And our fans.. But you have disrespected your country.. Your actions have led to Canadians being viewed as thieves.. Thieves who put Mayonnaise on all of their food... And listen to Brian Adams... Or Alanis Morrisette twenty-four hours a day...
-[[ Storm looks around, receiving more boos from this action alone. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] I will have each and every one of you know.. I am a Canadian.. I am proud of my heritage.. And I have never stolen.. I enjoy many other condiments besides Mayonnaise.. Such as ketchup.. Mustard.. And barbeque sauce.. And while I do own several Brian Adams compact discs.. And yes, I am a closet fan of Alanis Morrisette's album, Jagged Little Pill... Yes, you got me to admit it... I do have other musical tastes.. I enjoy Avril Lavigne, Shania Twain, Sarah McLachlan, and a personal favorite of mine, the incomparable Busta' Rhymes...
-[[ Jericho yanks the microphone out of Storm's hand and the fans pop again.. Jericho shakes his head, looking like he's been hit with the worst headache he's ever experienced.. He turns away from Storm and rubs his temple, trying to force the pain away... He finally yells into the microphone... ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] Storm..... Buddy.. Pal... Friend.. Partner.... No offense... But would you PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEZE... SHUT........ THE HELLLLL........ UUUUUUUUUUP!?! I mean, we're out here to make a challenge in honor of our country and you're out here rambling on about Avril Lavigne and Shania Twain and FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHO GIVES A DAMN!? I'm standing by your side for a reason and dammit, let's get to it, because I've got other business to attend to!!
-[[ Jericho turns and points to the stage... ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] Petey Williams!! Team Canada Part Deux!! Bring your sorry asses out here right now!!
-[[ The Canadian National anthem hits once again to another loud round of boos... Scott D'Amore comes storming out onto the stage with a Canadian flag attached to a hockey stick... Petey Williams follows him out, wearing the Maple Leaf medals around his neck.. He's followed out by Chris Benoit and "The Canadian Vampire" Vampiro... Scott D'Amore has a microphone in his hand... He raises it and speaks.. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] Chris Jericho.. Ha ha... Jericho, Jericho, Jericho... Why do you even pretend to give a damn about what's happening here? You're obviously only here in Solid Gold to further your own career!! You don't want better recognition for Canada.. You just want the world title around your waist!! And the first chance you get, you're going to kick Lance Storm and that Team Canada rip-off to the curb..... So don't talk down to US, you self-serving son of a BITCH!!
-[[ Jericho looks at Storm and shakes his head, assuring him that he wouldn't do that.. D'Amore continues. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] Oh, of course.. Of course you'd never do it.. And do you want to know WHY, Chris?
-[[ D'Amore laughs.. Petey slaps him on the back, laughing now as well. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] Because there's a better chance of Lance Storm up there getting LAID.. Than there is of you EVER... EVER... EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER GETTING A WORLD TITLE SHOT!! HA!! HA HA HA HA!!!
-[[ Even Benoit has to crack a smile, although Vampiro remains emotionless in the back. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] Oh, who am I kidding... The only thing Storm is taking to the grave is his VIRGINITY!!
-[[ Everyone begins guffawing up on the stage, pointing and laughing.. Petey Williams takes the microphone now.. He's laughing so hard that he can barely speak.. But he manages. ]]-
[ Petey Williams ] Scott.. Oh, man... That's too good.. I mean.. Jericho really thinks he's going to get a title shot in this company? It's a world championship, man.. That belt belongs to athletes... CANADIAN GOLD MEDALISTS like me!! Your chances aren't even realistic.... As a matter of fact.. They're FAKE!! Like MAJOR GUNNZ'S TITS!!
-[[ She looks offended and covers her chest as Petey and D'Amore continue laughing.. Benoit takes the microphone from Petey now.. There's a lot of joy in his voice as he speaks.. ]]-
[ Chris Benoit ] And I thought.. That only I knew what true pain.. Was all about.. But that.. That had to hurt!!
-[[ Chris Jericho cuts off any further speaking from the other Team Canada. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] If you four morons are finished hee-hawing like a bunch of jack asses, we called you out here for a reason.. We want to challenge you guys to a match... The four of you.. Against four of us!!
-[[ Jericho smirks as the Team Canada standing behind him nods. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] With the rights to Team Canada.. ON THE LINE, BABY!!
-[[ The fans pop, but only because Jericho is a charismatic son of a bitch.. Petey, D'Amore, Benoit, and Vampiro look on with anger in their eyes as Jericho lays down the challenge.... Jericho continues.. ]]-
[ Chris Jericho ] And I'm talkin'.. At Six-String Suck-Ass Supremacy.. We have Scott D'Amore.. Petey Williams.. Chris Benoit.. And Scott D'Amore..... Versus Lance Storm.. Mike Awesome.. Elix Skipper..... AND CHRIS JERICHO, BABY!!
-[[ D'Amore yanks the microphone out of Benoit's hands. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] Is that what you want? IS IT!? THEN YOU GOT IT!!
-[[ He looks back at his crew and sneers.. ]]-
[ Scott D'Amore ] As a matter of fact.. Let's give the fans a little preview.. RIGHT NOW!!
-[[ His version of Team Canada storms toward ringside and as soon as they reach the apron, KURT ANGLE'S MUSIC HITS!! Massive pop as Kurt Angle walks out onto the stage with a neck brace on, having not recovered from the Canadian Destroyer on the stage from last week..... Angle looks absolutely furious.. He has a microphone in his hand and he immediately begins yelling into it.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] STOP IT!! STOP IT, DAMMIT!! An eight man tag at Supremacy!? OH, HELL NO!! I DON'T THINK SO!!
-[[ The fans are going nuts for Angle.. Most just happy that he's still alive. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] You think you're going to get rid of me that easily!? You stole my medals, Petey Williams, if that IS your real name!! And you don't start any business with THEM.. Until you finish your business with ME!!
-[[ Angle takes a few steps down the ramp, eyeballing every single person in and out of the ring... ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Ever since you guys got here, all I've heard is a bunch of bitching!! WAH WAH WAH, Canadians are misunderstood!! WAH WAH WAH, somebody else got a belt handed to them and I didn't!! WAH WAH WAH, I don't like what this guy said about me and my country!! You didn't like what I had to say about Canadians last week!? TOUGH LUCK!! WELCOME TO AMERICA, LAND OF THE FREEEEEEEE!!!!
-[[ Earth shattering pop as Angle lays down the law. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] You guys wanna do a six man tag with Benoit, D'Amore, and that goth kid down there.. You go right ahead.. But Petey Williams only has one date on February fifth at Supremacy..... AND IT'S WITH ME!! OH, IT'S TRUE!! IT'S DAMN TRUE!!!!!!!! And you better believe, when it's all said and done, those medals are coming back home with ME.. To where they belong.. The home of G.I. Joe and Disney World!! The All-American Burger Basket at Shoney's and FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF!! TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES!! THE TROOPS THAT GIVE THEIR LIVES FOR US EVERY DAY OVER IN IRAQ!! Of course I'm talkin' about.... THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICAAAAAAA!!!
-[[ Another big pop for Angle and then-- ]]-
IF YA' SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...........
-[[ MY GOD, IT'S THE ROCK!! THE ROCK'S MUSIC JUST HIT!! Kurt Angle looks confused, as do all of BOTH Team Canadas... What the hell business does the Rock have with this situation!? The Rock, Ken Shamrock, and Vince McMahon all walk out onto the stage.. The Rock and McMahon have a cocky swagger about them, while Shamrock moves stilted and wood-like as if he's ready to swing on anyone at any time.. The Rock has a microphone... He raises it and yells... ]]-
[ The Rock ] FINALLY...............
-[[ The fans begin buzzing.. ]]-
[ The Rock ] THE ROCK.. HAS COME BACK....... HOME...
-[[ The fans pop huge. ]]-
[ The Rock ] And The Rock has gotta admit.. While it's good to be home.. While The Rock is PLEASED AS PIE to be in Miami, Florida, there's only one thing that the Rock thinks......... IS BETTER........
-[[ Silence.. They wonder what. ]]-
[ The Rock ] And that is.. After the show.. The Rock's gonna be LEEEEEEEEAVING MIAMI, FLORIDA!!!
-[[ The fans erupt in boos... The Rock basks in the crowd reaction he's receiving as McMahon laughs off to the side... The Rock looks around the building and his eyes finally settle on Kurt Angle and the two Team Canadas in and outside the ring.. The Rock raises the microphone again. ]]-
[ The Rock ] What is this? WHAT...... IS THIS!?
-[[ Everyone looks confused. ]]-
[ The Rock ] What has the Rock stumbled upon!? Flags blowin' in the wind, Chris Jericho blowin' on the mic, Mike Awesome blowin' God knows who behind that toilet paper you Maple Leaf worshipping mongoloids call a flag.. Kurt Angle, bald Kurt Angle.. Look at the boy!! Look what ya've done to him!! He's so mad his head is turnin' purple!! Ya' got him so mad he looks like a giant penis breaking through the end of a red, white, and blue condom!!
-[[ A huge round of applause for the Rock as he slams Kurt Angle for no reason at all... He continues rambling. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Whoa, momma.. You like that? Baby, it's the Rock!! The Rock is in the house!! HEY!! Tell the Rock somethin'.. The Rock sees flags, the Rock sees Chris Jericho in his sparkly little pants, the Rock sees a giant penis blowin' the end out of a red, white, and blue RUBBA'... And the Rock sees some big, blonde transvestite with Maple leaves on them massive milk bladders.... Tell the Rock!! TELL HIM!! Has he walked in on a meeting of the United Nations...... Or the world's biggest homosexual dance party!?
-[[ Everyone around and inside the ring looks highly offended as the Rock continues firing them off. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Whoa, momma.. The Rock ain't done yet!!
[ Chris Jericho ] Hold on just a second, Rock--
[ The Rock ] WHOA!! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!! Chris Jericho!! The King of the World!! Y... 2... J.. The Rock doesn't remember The Rock giving you permission to flappity flap-flap them gums!! I SAID THE ROCK DOESN'T REMEMBER THE ROCK GIVING YOU, CHRIS JERICHO, PUNK ASS WITH THE LITTLE SPARKLY TIGHTS AND PRETTY BLONDE HAIR PERMISSION TO FLAPPITY FLAP-FLAP THEM GUMS!!
-[[ The Rock pauses as the fans just realize the Rock has gone totally off his rocker. ]]-
[ The Rock ] So shut up, BITCH!!
-[[ Jericho grits his teeth.. Becoming exceptionally angry now. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Now, why are all of you jabronis out here in the Rock's ring? The fans don't care about any of you.. No, no they don't.. The fans only care about one thing...... And that's the Rock!! So what is Kurt Angle doing out here? You gonna drink some milk? You gonna repeat them THREE I'S? What were they again? Intensity!? YA' DON'T HAVE IT!! Integrity!? YA' MAKIN' THE ROCK LAUGH!! And the Rock's personal favorite...... SHUT THE HELL UP, YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE A PEEEEEEEEEEEEE-NIS!!
-[[ Massive pop and Kurt Angle throws a huge fit at ringside. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] SHUT IT, ROCK!! I JUST WANT MY FREAKIN' MEDALS!!! STAY OUT OF THIS!!!
-[[ The Rock adjusts his belt buckle, laughing. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Stay out of it? The Rock? The Rock's already kneeeeeeeee deep in it, momma!! The Rock ain't even half through!! Why, the Rock still wants to know.. What Team Canada.. Is doing in the Rock's ring? Team Canada one and Team Canada two, fighting over the rights to Team Canada!! Who's number one!?! Who came first!? It doesn't MATTER which group is number one because you're both number two, because all o'your members are SHIT!!
-[[ Mega pop as the Rock lays it down on Team Canada.. Any attempt the Rock made earlier to get heel heat has now been forgotten as his rambling shoot on Team Canada has turned him into the biggest hero ever... ]]-
[ The Rock ] Now, The Rock wants you to allow The Rock...... I SAID THE ROCK WANTS YOU TO ALLOW THE ROCK.. TO INTRODUCE TO ALL O'YOU PEOPLE.. YOU UNGRATEFUL, IGNORANT... PEOPLE.... The only man in SGDOUBLE-U THAT CALLS THE SHOTS AROUND HERE.. The man who's gonna turn them frowns upside and deliver to YOU... THE PEOPLE... The quality entertainment that SGWDOUBLE-U is KNOWN FOR....... OF COURSE... THE ROCK IS TALKIN' ABOUT--
-[[ Ken Shamrock yanks the microphone out of the Rock's hand. ]]-
[ Ken Shamrock ] ME!!!!
-[[ The Rock raises an eyebrow.. This wasn't what he intended.. Ken Shamrock is shaking all over like he's drank way too much coffee before the show.. He shrieks into the microphone.. ]]-
[ Ken Shamrock ] MURDER!! DEATH!! KILL!! THREE WORDS!! ONE MEANING!! KEN SHAMROCK!! AHHHHHHH!!
-[[ He punches himself in the face repeatedly... The Rock snatches the microphone out of his hand.. Shamrock almost looks sad.. The Rock looks at him in disbelief.. Just shaking his head slowly from side to side... ]]-
[ The Rock ] WHOA!! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!! KENNY!! Kenny, Kenny, Kenny!! KEN-EE!! Kenny..... ARE YOU ON CRACK!?
-[[ Shamrock is shaking all over and looks prepared to answer but the Rock doesn't even give him a chance before turning around and continuing his introduction as if the interruption never happened.... ]]-
[ The Rock ] THE SIX-STRING SAMURAI........ AND THA' OWNAAAA' OF SOLID GOLD RESS-ULL-IIIIIING.... HE IS YOUR WORLD CHAMPION!! THE CHAMPION....... OF THA' PEE-PULLLLLLLLLLL....... JEFF....... JARRETT!!!
-[[ "MY WORLD" hits and the fans begin booing even louder.. Jeff Jarrett walks out onto the ramp with the Harris Brothers, Gene Snitsky, Randy Orton, Vince Russo, the Big Show, and Ken Kennedy.. Jarrett exchanges handshakes with The Rock and McMahon but blatantly ignores Shamrock... The Rock casually hands the microphone over to Jarrett.. Jarrett's smiling as he addresses the Rock ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] That intro was a little longer than I expected, Rocky, but nobody does it better than you do.. And I can personally vouch that everything... Ha ha.. And I do mean everything.. That came out o'this man's mouth IS TRUE!!
-[[ Jarrett turns toward the ramp and sees Kurt Angle standing about mid-way up the ramp.. Jarrett's looks over the ring, taking a good look at everyone standing in and around it.. Jarrett shakes his head in disgust at what's been transpiring and then he speaks. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] This circus.. This sideshow... It ends NOW... I don't care if you're Team Canada or Team America, the bottom line around here is Jeff Jarrett.. The Six-String Samurai, owner, and World Heavyweight Champion makes the final decisions.. Especially when it comes to HIS pay-per-view..... Six-String Supremacy!!
-[[ The fans boo loudly, almost drowning Jarrett out. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Now.. The Team Canadas want an eight man tag team match... And Kurt Angle wants Petey Williams one on one... Well, guess what? None of ya' are gettin' what ya' want!! And you wanna know why? 'Cause I make the decisions around here and I make the damn matches... Not YOU!! And if you want an example of the matches I make...... Well, here's to ya'........ Lance Storm and Chris Benoit's match is happenin' RIGHT NOW.....
-[[ Jarrett smiles.. Russo just nods, he knows what's coming and smacks his fist into his open hand. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] With everybody here..... Standin' around ringside!! That's right, folks.. Lance Storm versus Chris Benoit just became a SUBMISSION LUMBERJACK MATCH!! HA HA!! Surround the damn ring, boys.. You too, Angle, get down there... This match just got interestin'!!
-[[ Everyone surrounds the ring, eventually leaving only Storm and Benoit inside.... Jarrett then raises his microphone once again.. Another big smile on his face... ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Looks like we don't have a referee for this match.... Hey, Vinnie-Mac, you're kinda' famous for refereein' a match with a certain Canadian in it... Let's see how you operate with two of'em in the ring at the same time.. Call it right down the middle, ya' hear?
Vince smiles and
enters the ring, being careful not to blow his quads out, and signals for
the bell to be rung..
begins with Show, Kennedy, Jarrett, the Harris Brothers, Snitsky, Russo,
Orton, Petey, Angle, D'Amore, Vampiro, Awesome, Gunnz, and Skipper
surrounding the ring.......
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Submission Match - Lumberjack Rules
Referee: Vince McMahon
Winner: Lance Storm via Submission
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Christ, McMahon.. That was the worst refereeing job I've ever seen.
-[[ McMahon shrugs in a "What can ya' do" manner and rolls out of the ring.... Jarrett just shakes his head. Both Team Canadas are regrouping, as is Team Corporate.. Jarrett speaks again. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] McMahon.. Rocky.. Shamrock.... All three o'you are excused.. You'll all be properly compensated for your troubles.. Trust me.. If you guys didn't stop this Canadian circle jerk when ya' did, I was goin' to...
-[[ Vince shakes hands with Jarrett and he, the Rock, and Shamrock make their way back up the ramp and to the backstage area.... Jarrett addresses both variations of Team Canada directly now... ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Now, what were we talkin' about before that five star classic you two just graced us with?
-[[ Jarrett seems to think it over.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Oh yeah.. A match at Six-String Supremacy... I know exactly what your match is gonna be and it ain't gonna be no eight man tag match... And it ain't gonna involve Kurt Angle.. 'Cause as far as I'm concerned, Petey stole them damn medals fair and square... So Kurt, you're excused too!!
-[[ Kurt throws a huge fit, screaming into his microphone. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] THIS IS BULLSHIT, JEFF!! THOSE ARE MY MEDALS!! THIS IS AN INJUSTICE!!
-[[ Kurt Angle looks ready to snap and go to town on every single person around the ring. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] If you won't do something about this.... THEN I WILL!! And you won't see it coming, mister!!
-[[ Angle storms up the ramp without his medals.. Furious.. Jarrett speaks again. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] It's gonna be Lance Storm.. Versus Petey Williams!! And it's gonna be a Canadian Flag Match.. Where the first man to retrieve the flag is the winner!! But braggin' rights ain't the only thing the winner is takin' home.. Oh no.. The winner of the match is takin' home them shiny, gold medals that ol' Petey's got hangin' around his neck..... But the real prize.. Is that after Six-String Supremacy........ It's just like the Highlander.. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!
-[[ Petey and Storm lock eyes.. Mouthing threats at each other.. Petey raises the medals up, showing them off and he sticks his tongue out at Storm before laughing loudly.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] That's right.. The winner of this match can make a choice.. He can make the choice to merge Team Canada into ONE cohesive unit.... Or he can run the other one straight out o'business!! And I don't care what decision ya' make.. You can cut each other's heads off for all I care, because I've got bigger fish to fry that night..... Of course, I'm talkin' about my big duet with American Idol winner, CARRIE UNDERWOOD!!
-[[ Huge boos. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] And the main event of the evenin'.... The debut of the trailer for my new movie... CHOSEN ONE: THE LEGEND OF JEFF JARRETT!!!
-[[ Even more boos. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] But that ain't all... I've got another match.. A match that could, quite possibly, shake Solid Gold Wrestlin' down to its very foundation!! I'm gonna be defendin' this world championship against the man I feel who deseves it the most.. A man who's been on a winnin' streak like no other since day one.... Of course.. I'm talkin' about..... CHRIS JERICHO!!
-[[ Jarrett's entire crew begins laughing like hyenas and Jarrett yells into the mic. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] NAH, Jericho, I'm just kiddin' with ya'... You're facin' the man that drove your damn face through them electrical boxes last week on Shock...... The locker room leader!! THE UNDERTAKER!!
-[[ Jericho looks furious at being owned by Jarrett again, but he's no doubt eager to settle the score with the Undertaker... Both versions of Team Canada are waiting for the abuse to continue.. They all look on from the ringside area, wondering what other abuse they're going to be forced to take.. Jarrett raises the microphone and begins to speak again but before the first word exits his mouth.. He is interrupted.. ]]-
........YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME.......
-[[ The fans begin booing even louder, as it seems that it's all heel night for the opening of the show.. Edge walks out onto the stage with Stacy Keibler in tow.. Christian, Tyson Tomko, Trish Stratus, and Jim Cornette all follow him outside as well..... Edge already has a microphone of his own...... Jarrett seems interested in what they all want.. Edge begins speaking angrily into the microphone.. ]]-
[ Edge ] Sorry to interrupt, Canada, but judging from how the night has gone for you so far, I guess you should be used to it...... Now, Jeff... I haven't asked for much since I got here.. Hell, I haven't asked for ANYTHING since I came back to Solid Gold Wrestling..... And the way I see it.. Since you replaced me in the tag team title match last week.. And SCREWED me and my brother out of the record... The record that, by all rights, SHOULD'VE BEEN OURS...... YOU.. OWE.. ME...
-[[ Jarrett smirks, admiring the balls on this man.. Christian leans over to Edge's microphone. ]]-
[ Christian ] You owe.. US.. Actually..
[ Edge ] That's right..
[ Jeff Jarrett ] What do ya' want?
-[[ Edge smiles. ]]-
[ Edge ] You know what I want..
-[[ Christian speaks again. ]]-
[ Christian ] You might want to elaborate on that, Edge.. Because the last time I assumed he knew what I wanted, not only did we NOT.. Break the tag team title record... But I ended up with the shortest.. Tag team title reign... IN HISTORY!!
-[[ Tomko shakes his head. ]]-
[ Tyson Tomko ] Sucks.
[ Christian ] You're damn right it does.. Tell'im, Edge!!
-[[ Edge becomes dead serious. ]]-
[ Edge ] I want Val Venis... And I want him at the pay-per-view!!
-[[ Jarrett's look goes serious as well.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] He's not even on the roster anymore, kid.. How do ya' think I go about doin' that?
[ Edge ] I don't care how you do it, Jeff... But you find him and you BOOK THE MATCH... Because no one.. No one.. NO ONE!! NO ONE DOES WHAT HE DID TO ME!! He left Solid Gold Wrestling.. He left Stacy Keibler behind.. I only stuck around and picked.. Up.. The pieces..... And now he's making a war out of this.. It's like he forgot that just a week before, he was beating his mentor to death and getting down talked by Batista!! He doesn't care about what happened then.. He only cares about ME..... AND HER!!
-[[ Edge speaks through gritted teeth. ]]-
[ Edge ] Give me the match.. So that I can do.. What many others, including YOURSELF, have failed to do... And END.. Val Venis once.. And for all..... Please, Jeff.. I need this...... I need to get this idiot out of my hair so that I can move on and Christian and I can dominate this damn stinking promotion like God intended us to do.....
-[[ Jarrett seems to understand. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] I'll see what I can do.
-[[ Edge seems satisfied and goes to turn around and leave.. But Christian takes his microphone and addresses Jarrett himself now... Christian has a big cocky smile on his face..... ]]-
[ Christian ] Well, seeing as how THAT went so well.. I think I'll ask for a favor of my own.. If you don't mind, Jeff.. You see, two weeks ago.. I mentioned that in two thousand two.. I won this little thing called the Pick Your Title Shot Tournament... And well, I was hoping to cash that in.. Say.. At Six-String Supremacy!!
-[[ Jarrett smiles.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Didn't you already cash that in? For the tag team titles?
-[[ Christian shakes his head. ]]-
[ Christian ] No, see.. I mentioned it.. And then you just gave me the tag team title shot.. So, you see, that didn't count.. I still have the contract from winning the tournament and everything.. I just never signed it.. So, no.. I haven't cashed it in.. But I'd like to at Supremacy..
-[[ Jarrett's smile goes a bit weaker now. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Alright, well..... What've you got in mind...
-[[ Christian's smile grows huge across his face. ]]-
[ Christian ] I want a match for the world heavyweight championship at Supremacy..
-[[ Jarrett's smile completely disappears. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Well, Christian.. I hate to break it to ya'... But I ain't wrestlin' at Six-String Supremacy.. Not against you.. Not against anybody.. I've got my hands full with Carrie Underwood and all o'them stars that're gonna be in the main event.. So, sorry.. Thanks but no thanks.. Maybe some other time...
-[[ Christian suddenly looks furious. ]]-
[ Christian ] The contract says I can have the title shot whenever and where ever I want it, JEFF!! I want it at Supremacy!! No sooner, no later!! THEN!! AT THE PAY-PER-VIEW, DAMMIT!!
-[[ Jarrett jams a finger in Christian's face. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Let me tell you somethin', you ungrateful little shit.. You're only where you are in SGDubya right now because I put you there!! It was me that put you over Triple H and it was me that carried us to victory for them tag team titles you was wantin' so bad... And as for your little contract.. It's damn near four years old.. This is the wrestlin' business, you're lucky I'm even actin' like that tournament HAPPENED!!
-[[ Christian and Jarrett go nose to nose and each one's crew looks ready to brawl with the other at a moment's notice.. Good God, these two men's friendship has self destructed in record time!! Just as it looks like they might be ready to start throwing punches.. The Golden-Tron flashes to life again.... And the face of MIKE SANDERS fills the screen... The fans pop huge for the man who defied Jarrett last week...... But Sanders doesn't look right.. He looks tired, groggy, like he's been beaten senseless...... Christian and Jarrett forget their problems for the moment and stare up at the screen..... And as Sanders stares at everyone from the screen..... He slumps down out of the shot, leaving only the face of MUHAMMAD HASSAN ON THE SCREEN!! Hassan has a big smile on his face as Sanders is forced on his knees in front of him.... Jarrett seems overjoyed.. Excited over the capture of Sanders..... Before Jarrett can speak.. Hassan does it for him.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Last week..... ON SHOCK.... Melina Perez made the order.. Stating that she wanted the head.. Of Mike Sanders.... I, THE GREAT... MUHAMMAD HASSAN... Stand before you with the head of Mike Sanders... AT MY FEET!! In exchange for his head, I only ask for one thing........
-[[ Jarrett looks curious. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] And that is to be the first entrant in the Thunderdome.. So that I may become the United States champion and represent.. THIS COUNTRY... IN WHICH I WAS BORN!! So that I may become an example.. That racial prejudice.. In Solid Gold WRESTLING.... Is a thing.. OF THE PAST!!
-[[ Russo is laughing next to Jarrett.. He leans into the microphone. ]]-
[ Vince Russo ] No dice, kid... Ya' wouldn't last in tha' Thunda'dome.. Box cutta's ain't allowed!!
-[[ Jarrett just shakes his head, but even he can't help but laugh.. Hassan just nods, the shot sinking in quickly.. He then smiles a sick smile and begins speaking again... At first, you might think he's taking the shot in stride. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] I see.. That's FINE... Because I was prepared to be shown this disrespect.. And that is why a second plan was put in place... If you won't accept the head of Mike Sanders........ Perhaps you'll accept THIS one..
-[[ The camera pans over to reveal Sabu holding Melina with Daivari talking shit right in her face!! She's fighting with everything she has, but Sabu's grip is impossible for her to break...... Hassan reaches over and yanks her closer to him by her hair...... He holds his face closer to hers..... And drags his thumb hard across her throat... His eyes go wide and he stares at the ceiling...... ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] PRAISE........ ALLAH!!
-[[ And the feed cuts out... Jarrett looks back at Christian and there's still no love lost between the two.. They stare each other down for another brief moment until Jarrett speaks again, adjusting the world title on his shoulder. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] We'll finish this another time.
-[[ Christian nods. ]]-
[ Christian ] You're damn right we will.
Jarrett and his crew
runs to the back, hopefully in time to save Melina from the clutches of
Hassan.. Christian and his group looks down at ringside where the Team
Canadas still stand.. Where they've been standing since the beginning of
the show... Christian just shakes his head and he and the Christian
Coalition exit to the back.. Leaving the dueling Team Canadas to wonder
exactly where their promo went off course.. ]]-
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Jimmy Cordaris
Winner: Michael Shane via Disqualification
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Angle? What the hell are you doin' in here?!
-[[ Kurt Angle is kneeling down next to Melina, who is on her knees with tears in her eyes.. She does not appear to be harmed.. It seems as though Kurt Angle was in the process of making sure she was okay when Jarrett barged in.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] It looks to me, Jeff.. Like I was doing the one thing you can't seem to do around here.. And that's keep your staff out of trouble.... While you were out there jawing with those idiots and bending over backwards to make EDGE happy, I was saving Melina's life!!
-[[ Jarrett ignores the defiance in Angle's voice.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Where the hell did Hassan go?
-[[ Angle's answer makes him sound even more annoyed than he was before. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Well, if you'll let me FINISH, I'll tell you!!
-[[ Jarrett puts his hands on his hips.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] The floor is all yours, Angle.
[ Kurt Angle ] Can I finish?
-[[ Jarrett nods. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Are you sure? Because I'd really appreciate it if I could finish!!
-[[ Jarrett looks back at the Harris Brothers.. Don snarls and cracks his knuckles. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] Kurt.. If you don't finish.. The only thing GETTIN' finished will be your life.. Ya' hear?
-[[ Kurt smiles a disbelieving smile. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Fair enough.
-[[ He begins.. To finish. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Well, I saw what happened on the monitor.. And as you know, I am a real American.. Just like G.I. Joe, and even though she IS the bitch of bitches.. And even though she IS associated with YOU.. A guy who has no morals OR integrity.. And sat there and ALLOWED Petey Williams to steal my medals and defend them in a FREAKIN' MATCH that I don't get even get to be involved in.... Yeah, that's pretty stupid, by the way.. And even though I knew you wouldn't show me any appreciation for it.... A woman is still a woman.. And Kurt Angle will always do the right thing when the situation arises...... Oh, yeah.. It's true...
-[[ Jarrett and Kurt stare each other right in the eyes.. Jarrett then kneels down next to Melina and pulls her up by her arm, his eyes never leave Kurt's..... Jarrett looks her up and down.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] You all right?
-[[ She nods.. Then Jarrett looks up at Kurt Angle. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] You want your medals back, Kurt?
-[[ Kurt's mouth turns up into an almost sick grin. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] You're damn skippy, I do.
[ Jeff Jarrett ] You take care of Muhammad Hassan at Six-String Supremacy for me.. You take'im OUT.. And to make that deal a little sweeter for ya'... The winner of the match will get to fill a spot in that Thunderdome match Russo was ravin' about last week...
-[[ Kurt's smile becomes impossibly bigger...... ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Jeff.. As great as winning the United States Championship sounds... If beating Hassan means getting my medals back.. I will make him TAP...
-[[ Jarrett extends his hand to shake.. ]]-
[ Jeff Jarrett ] If you want'em back.. Then this is the first step...
Angle stares hard at
Jarrett's hand..... And accepts the handshake.
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Mark Yeaton
Winner: Ken Kennedy via Pin Fall
[ Ken Kennedy ] AND THE WINNER OF THE MATCH..........
-[[ He tilts his head back and closes his eyes. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] AND STIIIIIIIIIIIILLL......... THE WORLD... TAG TEAM CHAMPION!!!
-[[ The belts weren't even on the line!! ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] MISSSSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR........... KENNEDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
-[[ He lowers his head, pausing..... And then bellows, drawing more boos. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] ........KENNEDY!!
-[[ Chris Jericho slowly rolls over and crawls toward Kennedy.... But when Big Show notices this.. He turns and brings his boot heel down on Jericho's head, drawing blood from his forehead on impact.. Big Show then reaches down.. Grips Jericho's throat.. And DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH THE CHOKE SLAM!! Bobby "The Brain" Heenan rolls in, trying to stop the abuse being inflicted on his man, but Kennedy and Show aren't having any of it..... Ken Kennedy takes his place, sitting on the top rope and Big Show puts Bobby Heenan on his shoulders with no effort whatsoever... And oh my God... NO!! NOT LIKE THIS!! KENNEDY GREEN BAY PLUNGES BOBBY HEENAN'S BODY ONTO JERICHO'S!! Both men are lying completely motionless!! EMTs flood the ring and begin checking on Heenan and Jericho... They begin giving Heenan mouth to mouth, but it's not looking good for him.. Kennedy is sick, laughing as both men are strapped down and are carted up the ramp... Kennedy points to himself.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] WINNERRRRRRRRRR!!
-[[ And then up at the ramp at his stretchered victims.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] LOOOOOOOOOOSERS!!!!!
-[[ He puts his finger and thumb on his forehead in the shape of an 'L'.. Big Show does the same, laughing.. And as the EMTs get Jericho and Heenan to the top.... The Undertaker emerges!! The EMTs begin cowering in fear.. Taker looks at each one, chewing tobacco in his mouth.. He hocks on the stage and one EMT shoves Jericho's stretcher toward him.. ]]-
[ EMT ] T-T-... Take him..
-[[ The EMTs jump off the stage and leave the lifeless bodies alone with the Undertaker.... Undertaker grabs the end of Heenan's stretcher and sends it FLYING off the stage!! Heenan splatters on impact like a watermelon in what will surely be a clip replayed for years for its brutality... Undertaker shows no emotion over it.. This is just another day's work.... He rips Jericho off of the stretcher and hoists him onto his shoulder..... Oh God, NOT AGAIN!! And no, it's not.. He tombstones him straight onto the stage.. His head making a dent in the steel!! Undertaker then hoists him up again.... AND CHOKESLAMS HIM OFF OF THE STAGE!! Jericho lands back in the electrical boxes, thousands of volts of electricity flying all over the place!! Chris Jericho has been RUINED!! Kennedy, Show, and Lollipop stand in awe, obviously impressed by the damage done by the Undertaker... They make their up to the ramp, to pay their respects to the Locker Room Leader, but he's only interested in Kennedy's microphone..... He takes it from Kennedy.. ]]-
[ The Undertaker ] Now, git.
-[[ Kennedy nods and he and his crew head to the back, leaving Taker to himself.. Taker looks around at the fans, who boo him loudly now for taking out Chris Jericho and brutalizing the cancer ridden Heenan... Taker spits on the stage again before speaking. ]]-
[ The Undertaker ] I think it's obvious that I ain't facin' Chris Jericho at that pay-per-view now... Not jus' cause he ain't in my league... But because he's dead... So what I'm gonna do.. And no, I ain't asked Jarrett or nobody else for permission... I'm gonna insert my own ass in that Thunderdome match... And I reckon.. I'm gonna win me that United States title belt!!
-[[ The fans boo loudly.... Undertaker doesn't care. ]]-
[ The Undertaker ] Try ta' stop me.
He throws the
microphone down and stomps to the back.
& Trish Stratus versus
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Intergender Tag Team Match
Referee: Charles Robinson
Winners: Christian & Trish Stratus via Pin Fall
[ Mando Guerrero ] Have either of you heard why we were brought here tonight?
[ Hector Guerrero ] I just receive invitation and show up.. I know nothing.
[ Chavo Classic ] Neither of you finds it funny that not only were we invited here without reason.. But we didn't even know the others were going to be here? I'd liked to have known.. We could've came together.. Saved money!!
-[[ Mando's eyes light up, he has an idea. ]]-
[ Mando Guerrero ] Could this have something to do with Chavito's return?
[ Hector Guerrero ] I haven't seen the first sign of him tonight!!
-[[ Chavo Classic rubs his chin. ]]-
[ Chavo Classic ] I would like to think.. If my boy was behind this, he would have called me, you know?
-[[ All three of them nod in unison... And then their attention is turned to a voice from off-camera. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Chavo Guerrero Junior.. Has nothing to do with your presence here tonight...
-[[ Randy Orton and "Cowboy" Bob walk into your line of sight.. The three Guerreros do not look pleased to see these two men... Bob and Randy have smug looks on their faces..... Orton stands only a few feet away from them... ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Well... He does..... But I'm the one who brought you here.. And I brought you here for a reason..
-[[ They seem interested... Chavo Classic shows balls by speaking up to Orton. ]]-
[ Chavo Classic ] And what reason is that, homes?
[ Randy Orton ] To show you.. The Guerrero family.. That unlike Chavo Junior.. I.. AM NOT.. A COWARD!!
-[[ Chavo Classic looks offended by this trash talk on his son.. ]]-
[ Chavo Classic ] My Chavito is no coward..
-[[ Orton laughs. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] He attacked me from behind last week... Why? I know why... Because he knows that in Solid Gold Wrestling.. The two thousand and six Legend Killer Tour is just beginning... And that makes him a target.. He's seen me in action and he's seen me go face to face with anyone that's put in front of me... I don't run away.. And I don't attack from behind..... He knew the only way to come after me and stand a chance...... Was to attack me from behind and try to take me out before I came calling.. Knocking on HIS DOOR!!
-[[ Orton looks each Guerrero in the eyes.. Seeing the defiance in them.. They would love to take him on.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I invited all of you here tonight.. Because I am making a challenge for Six-String Supremacy.. Cactus Jack.. Michael Shane and Traci Brooks.. Good challenges, but they weren't legends....... I put them away with little to no fanfare and I'm ready to begin climbing the ladder.......
[ Hector Guerrero ] He will accept your challenge..
[ Chavo Classic ] You are making a big.. Big... BIG mistake, Mister Orton..
-[[ Orton smiles. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] At Six-String Supremacy.. My match with Chavo Guerrero will be a historical event.... But there are mutual benefits... The championship belt I hold.. The Television Championship.. Is the last piece of the puzzle Chavo Guerrero needs to complete the SGW Grand Slam..... Not that he's going to have a chance in hell at taking it away from me... But the opportunity is there..... No, the history will be made.. When I defeat Chavo Guerrero in the middle of the ring and end this facade that the Guerrero family means ANYTHING to this business......
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] There's only one family that means somethin' in this business, boys!!
-[[ "Cowboy" Bob strikes the "HEY!!" pose... ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] THE ORTONS!!
-[[ The Guerreros are just going to let this slide off their backs.. They turn to walk away.. This really is not worth their time.. Chavo Classic turns and speaks one last time.. ]]-
[ Chavo Classic ] That's nice.. I'll be sure to pass the message along when I see my boy..
-[[ Orton stops them as they begin to walk away.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Esse... Hey.. Esse... Don't worry about that.. I'LL pass the message..... Say.. RIGHT NOW!!
-[[ The Ortons jump on the Guerreros and begins beating them down!! Randy nails Mando with a European uppercut and whips him into the wall!! "Cowboy" Bob beats Chavo Classic down and begins putting the boots to him.. Hector jumps on Bob's back, trying to choke him out, but "Cowboy" Bob whips him over his shoulders, forcing him to bust his ass on the concrete floor!! Hector begins to stand back up..... And Orton brings a boot down right behind his ear!! Hector goes down in a heap!! Orton looks over.. Sees the fire extinguisher embedded in the wall behind a pane of glass..... And he elbows the glass out!! Orton yanks the fire extinguisher out of the wall...... And SLAMS IT into Mando Guerrero's head!! Mando goes down to the floor, totally limp and blood begins pouring out of a hole in his head... Chavo is crawling back to his knees.. Fury in his eyes... ]]-
[ Chavo Classic ] Going to.. Get you... Orton...... Teach you.. To mess.... With the Guerreros...
-[[ Orton smirks. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] You sound tense, Chavo... You should chill out.
-[[ Orton unleases the fire extinguisher all over Chavo Classic, coating his exposed skin in the frosty coolant.. Chavo yells in pain, trying to get away but as he scrambles away on all fours.. Randy Orton brings the fire extinguisher down on the back of his head!!! Hector is slowly getting back up and Orton drops the fire extinguisher... Hector is barely standing and Orton runs at him... RKO ON HECTOR GUERRERO!! Randy Orton sits back up, smiling... None of the three Guerreros are moving at all.... Orton stands up and looks right in the camera...... ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Did you like that, Chavo? That's three legends in one night... KILLED..
-[[ Orton has a sadistic smile on his face.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] It would've been four.. But when it came to killing Eddie...
-[[ "Cowboy" Bob is already laughing. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] GOD BEAT ME TO IT!!
-[[ Orton reaches off camera.. When his hand comes back.. He has the SGW Television Championship in his hand.. Orton looks at it.. Staring hard at it.. He looks back up at the camera... ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Two world championships... Two United States championships... Two Intercontinental championships... You even have a spot in the Hall of Fame... But this is the one that eluded you, Chavo..... This is the one that cements your place in history forever..... But you have to go through me to do it.. To you.. I'm just some young punk that needs to be taught a lesson.. I know....... But to me, Chavo.. You're nothing.. Nothing to me but just another.. Legend.. Killed.....
Orton hocks and spits
right in the camera, obscuring your view.
HOUR 2 ->