SHOCK: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes | February 11th, 2006 | Live From: Buffalo, New York | Commentators: Joey Styles & Don Callis
-[[ When it fades away, you find yourself in a familiar room.. The office that belongs to the owner.. And now former world heavyweight champion, Jeff Jarrett.. However, there is something different about it.. All of the trophies, championship belts, and decorations that adorned the walls have been removed... All that remains is a desk.. And sitting on it with her legs crossed... Is NOT Jeff Jarrett... You're staring at Melina Perez.. The director of authority.. She has a clipboard in her hand and the cockiness in her eyes that was there so many times in the past... Is no longer there... In a serious, business-like tone, she addresses the fans.. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Ladies and gentlemen... I'm here tonight to make an announcement that is...
-[[ She pauses, thinking of the right word.. She finds it. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] ..Most unfortunate..
-[[ Another pause. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Solid Gold Wrestling stands today without an owner.. Without a person to keep the peace..
-[[ She looks at the clipboard. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Gene Snitsky has been hospitalized because of injuries he sustained during the main event last week at Six-String Supremacy... Ron and Don Harris were both hospitalized after their involvement in the ladder match.. And Vince Russo, our head of talent relations, has not been seen since his.... Meeting..
-[[ She rolls her eyes. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] With Candice Michelle...
-[[ She continues. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] But anyway.... All of that pales in comparison to the one casualty suffered during the show that mattered.. That was.. The injury to the owner of Solid Gold Wrestling, Jeff Jarrett.. Not only was Jeff beaten down and injured.. But he is now without his championship belt..
-[[ Her face becomes a scowl. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] And as far as I'm concerned.. He deserves it.. I mean.. I came to Solid Gold Wrestling because that tramp, Trish Stratus, dumped his ass for Christian.. And I make sacrifices.. A LOT of sacrifices.. Like having sex with that idiot.. And he rewards with the Director of Authority position.. Which he doesn't even let me USE half the time and then.. At the pay-per-view.. A pay-per-view that was MY idea....... MY IDEA..
-[[ She does an attitude filled head bob. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] MELINA'S IDEA!!
-[[ She's so mad that she's shaking. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] He goes and.. Runs off.. And has sex with that... Blonde, big breasted, BIMBO!!
-[[ She throws the clipboard down. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] So, unfortunately, boys and girls, Jeff Jarrett's going to be out of action for at least six months with his much-deserved back and head injuries........ That's tough luck.
-[[ She plasters on a big fake smile. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Now, you're probably wondering to yourself.. What is Melina going to do now that she's the only person left in charge of this God forsaken company?
-[[ The smile immediately drops. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Absolutely nothing.
-[[ Then she shrugs. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Well.. I have made two final decisions..
-[[ A smile. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] You heard me right... FINAL decisions.. Because after I've made them.. I will be resigning from my duties as the Director of Authority and leaving Solid Gold Wrestling for greener pastures.. But.. As for those decisions.. One of them concerns the interim owner of Solid Gold Wrestling.. And the other concerns her assistant...
-[[ From out of the shot, a blonde in a white business suit with her tits nearly spilling out of it walks over and stands next to Melina.. It's Jillian Hall.. WITHOUT the shit on her face.. Melina presents her to the fans.. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Ladies and gentlemen... Jillian Hall.. The ASSISTANT to the interim owner..
-[[ Jillian smiles and mockingly waves to the people out in tv land.. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] And as for the interim owner.. I have personally handpicked this person to lead Solid Gold Wrestling in the right direction while Jeff is out of action.. And that person is......
-[[ Melina laughs.. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Not being revealed until after the main event tonight..
-[[ Melina picks up the clipboard and hands it to Jillian, a passing of the torch, if you will.. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] So, Jeff.. I know you're sitting in your little hospital bed and watching this as I speak... So, at main event time.. You turn up the volume real good and high, because I want you to BELIEVE what you see and hear.. The new interim owner is going to give the name SGW SHOCK a completely new meaning....
-[[ She smirks. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] When Jillian announces the new owner, Jeff... I just hope you don't.. Choke on it..
-[[ The smirk disappears.. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Well, actually....... I do.
-[[ Melina steps off the desk, staring hard into the camera. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] Take this job.. And shove it.
-[[ A pause.. ]]-
[ Melina Perez ] ...Slapnuts.
She storms out of the
room, leaving Jillian Hall with the clipboard in her hand.. She looks down
at it and smiles..
Shane & Kurt Angle versus
Lance Storm & Randy Orton
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Nick Patrick
Michael Shane watches
on from outside the ring, holding his neck... Randy Orton smirks, pointing
at him and making the title belt motion around his waist.. Lance Storm
watches this go on, looking confused, because after all.. He DID make the
pin fall in the match...
Winner: Lance Storm & Randy Orton via Pin Fall
[ Val Venis ] Why have you brought all of us here?
-[[ The Rock smiles, adjusting his belt buckle. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Listen to this guy.. You hear that? Listen to'im..
-[[ The Rock shakes his head from side to side like he's Stevie Wonder, the smile growing impossibly larger... Everyone goes quiet, waiting to see where the Rock is going with this... But he just stomps his foot and places both hands on his belt buckle... He chews his gum loudly... ]]-
[ John Cena ] Yo... Not that I got anywhere betta' ta' be, doll.. But I'd kinda' like to know why you got all us packed in 'dis room like a can o'sardines... No offense or nothin'... But I think we deserve an explanation...
-[[ The Rock laughs out loud.. ]]-
[ The Rock ] HAH!! Ya' hear that, Jillian? ..Whoa! John Cena.. JOHN SEE-NAAAH.. Wants an explanation! Well, what are ya' waitin' for!? Give the boy his last request.... Before the Rock shines his boot up real nice.. Yeah, you heard the Rock right.. Before he shiiiines that mutha' up.. And makes John Cena bend ova'... And takes down his little shorts.. Where'd ya' get those shorts, Johnny?
-[[ The Rock raises an eyebrow. ]]-
[ The Rock ] From the toilet store?
-[[ The Rock laughs and waves it off. ]]-
[ The Rock ] The Rock kids! The Rock kids! But seriously, the Rock's gonna shove his boot up your ass later tonight..
-[[ The Rock says this so casual that it almost doesn't hit Cena that the Rock just insulted him.. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin has had enough of the bickering.. He pops the top on a beer and takes a drink before speaking. ]]-
[ "Stone Cold" Steve Austin ] BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! "Stone Cold" Steve Austin has been standin' over here.. And he's heard Val Venis bitch.. And he's heard John Cena bitch... And he's heard RAH-KEE MY-UH-VEE-UH bitch and brag and I've just about had ENOUGH OF IT!!
-[[ Petey Williams steps up. ]]-
[ Petey Williams ] Hold on just a second, Austin..
-[[ Austin stares right at Petey Williams. ]]-
[ "Stone Cold" Steve Austin ] Who the hell are you?
-[[ Petey looks offended. ]]-
[ Petey Williams ] I'm Pet--
-[[ The Rock slides in like a cartoon character. ]]-
[ The Rock ] IT DON'T MATTA' WHAT'CHA NAME ISSSS!!
-[[ Austin looks at the Rock, staring a hole right through him... ]]-
[ "Stone Cold" Steve Austin ] Do ya' mind?
-[[ The Rock shrugs. ]]-
[ The Rock ] The Rock saw a chance to put over the Rock..
-[[ He adjusts his belt buckle. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Baby, I'm the Rock! WHOA!!
-[[ Austin smirks.. ]]-
[ "Stone Cold" Steve Austin ] Now.. Petey.. Back to what you were sayin'?
-[[ Petey opens his mouth to talk and "Stone Cold" blasts him with a big right hand!! Everyone parts like the Red sea and Austin just keeps blasting Petey Williams with shots and finally spins him around and whips him right into a brick wall!! Austin stomps Petey until he stops moving and then rejoins the group... He looks at Jillian. ]]-
[ "Stone Cold" Steve Austin ] Back to what ya' were sayin', ma'am.
-[[ Jillian nods. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Thank you, Steve..
-[[ She looks around the room at everyone.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] The reason I've brought you all here is to make an announcement regarding your matches.. Before coming to Solid Gold Wrestling, I watched it religiously.. I became somewhat of an expert.. A historian, if you will... And there was an event at the pay-per-view that gave me a wonderful idea...
-[[ Everyone is listening intently. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] All of your matches tonight.. Will now have a stipulation..
-[[ The Undertaker tightens his gloves... ]]-
[ The Undertaker ] What kinda' stipulations we talkin'?
-[[ Cactus Jack drops to his ass and begins punching himself in the leg as he squeals.. ]]-
[ Cactus Jack ] I hope.. I hope... I hope it's something.. TWISTED!!
-[[ Justin Credible steps up.. Looking confused. ]]-
[ Justin Credible ] But our match.. The Lucky Seven.. It's already got a stipulation..
[ Alex Shelley ] Yeah.. The winner gets a television title shot..
-[[ Jillian shakes her head, still smiling. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Not anymore.
-[[ The Lucky Seven competitors all throw a fit, with the exception of Cactus Jack, who doesn't seem to be affected at all.. Jillian waits for everyone to calm down before she continues.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Before I was so rudely interrupted... I was going to announce that the winners of all of your matches tonight.. Will move forward........ In the PICK YOUR TITLE SHOT TOURNAMENT.. Where the winner in the end will be allowed to choose any championship in Solid Gold Wrestling to go after at ANY time..
-[[ Everyone seems interested big time now... Val Venis nods, a smile stretching across his face.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] And you all saw what happened at Supremacy.. However.. Another four year gap between winning the tournament and cashing it in.. Will not happen.. I'm initiating a new rule.. We'll call it.. The Christian Rule.. You must cash in your tournament victory within one calendar year of receiving it..
-[[ She clutches the clipboard to her chest. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Happy hunting, gentlemen!
-[[ She walks out of the room, leaving the wrestlers alone.. The Rock is smiling, nodding his head along to music that only he can hear, it seems, and he turns to Perry Saturn and the smile disappears. ]]-
[ The Rock ] What are ya' lookin' at, bitch?
-[[ Perry Saturn turns to the Rock with a snarl on his face. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Ya' lookin' at the Rock? Or ya' lookin' over there? The Rock can't tell!!
-[[ The Rock turns, gripping his belt buckle with one hand and pointing at Saturn with his thumb. ]]-
[ The Rock ] Can you believe this guy? Whoa.. Look at his eyes! They're crazy! HAH! The Rock kids..
The Rock laughs to
himself as Saturn looks furious.... Another Pick Your Title Shot
Tournament is in the works... Who will win? What championship belt will
they choose? And will they be able to capitalize on it?! The possibilities
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Jimmy Cordaris
Winner: The Boogeyman via Pin Fall
[ Ken Kennedy ] Randy... Orton...
-[[ Orton doesn't even look up. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Save it.
-[[ Kennedy is taken aback by the comment.. He looks up at the Big Show and back down at Orton, chewing his gum.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I know what you're here for.. You're here about Jeff..
-[[ Kennedy nods. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Mister Jarrett was an inspiration..
-[[ Orton stands up, a sharp tone in his voice. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] WAS an inspiration, KennedY? WAS? The man isn't dead..
-[[ Orton stares Kennedy right in the eyes.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Oh yeah.. He's hurt.. He's hurt real bad.. But he isn't dead..
-[[ He looks from Kennedy to Show and back to Kennedy.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And it's up to us.. US.. To make sure Solid Gold Wrestling remains true to the image HE created!! And that means.. No more screw-ups.. No more mistakes!! Nothing like what happened at Supremacy.. Can happen again..
-[[ Randy Orton looks down at his hand and clenches a fist.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] We got cocky.. And in the blink of an eye.. I lost my television championship.. To a HAS-BEEN!! And he went and pawned it off on that joke, Michael Shane, that I have beaten... BEATEN.. THREE TIMES NOW!! And on the same night.. Jeff was screwed out of his world championship by that turncoat, Christian...
-[[ He looks back up at Kennedy.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] What should have been Jeff's night... OUR night... Was turned into a joke.. No more.. Whoever they're naming as the new... Interim owner.. They're going to go right in our pocket and we're going to keep them there until Jeff comes back to kick'em to the curb...
-[[ Randy Orton extends his hand to Kennedy.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] To the great ones....
-[[ Kennedy looks at his hand and accepts the gesture.. They shake. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] To the great ones!!
-[[ Randy Orton shakes Big Show's hand as well.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] There's damn few of us left.
The three men each
take a seat and prepare to discuss matters further.. What's going to
happen, now that these three men have formed an official alliance to
represent the fallen Jeff Jarrett?
Cold" Steve Austin versus
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Pick Your Title Shot Tournament - Round One
Referee: Mark Yeaton
Winner: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin via Pin Fall
[ Val Venis ] This is my shot, Orlando.. Tonight.. I advance in the third Pick Your Title Shot Tournament.. And then.. After I've won.. And easily at that.. You know EXACTLY where I'm heading....
-[[ Orlando laughs, wringing his hands together. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] Oh, yeah, baby.. I know exactly where you goin'!!
-[[ Venis points to the ceiling.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Straight to the top.. Where I belong..
-[[ Venis smirks.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Because you see, Orlando.. I've done everything else there is to do in Solid Gold Wrestling.. The television championship.. The tag team championship... And the United States championship..... I'm even in the Solid Gold Wrestling Hall of Fame...
-[[ Orlando shakes his head, smiling. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] You think I'll get in there one day, man?
-[[ Venis puts his hand on Orlando's shoulder.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] I don't know, Orlando... The Hall of Fame's pretty full..
-[[ Orlando shakes his head, laughing.. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] Shit, V-Squared, they's ALWAYS room for Orlando!
-[[ Venis chuckles.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Heh heh.. We'll see.. But first.... Let's worry about winning this tournament..
-[[ As they round the corner, they come face to face with.. MUHAMMAD HASSAN!! Hassan has Daivari and Sabu positioned behind him.. Hassan is in a nice suit with his Arabic head dress on.. The SGW United States Championship rests underneath his arm... He looks Val Venis up and down.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Step aside.
-[[ Hassan smiles. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] I could have sworn.. I heard you say.. That after you won the.. Pick Your Title Shot tournament.. That you were going.. STRAIGHT......... TO THE TOP!!
-[[ He looks behind him.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Is that what he said, Khosrow?
-[[ Daivari goes into a screaming fit.. ]]-
[ Khosrow Daivari ] OOLOO KAPOOTA!! AHKMED!! SAYID!! HE DID SAY THE THINGS!
-[[ Hassan smiling, turns back to Venis.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Well..... In my book.. That means.. You're coming... AFTER ME!!
-[[ Val Venis and Orlando Jordan both begin laughing.. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] Afta' you? What've you got that he wants, son!? That busted ass mid-card belt!?
-[[ Hassan's smile quickly disappears.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Surely.. You are not speaking.. Of the joke.. That is the world championship...
-[[ Hassan pulls his belt into plainer view.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] That belt.. Was not even decided.. IN A REAL.. MATCH!!
-[[ Hassan has rapidly become furious, yelling and pointing in the face of Venis.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] I defeated.. FOUR OTHER MEN... IN THE THUNDERDOME!! This championship belt.. Is worth more... THAN YOUR LIFE!!
-[[ Venis mans up in Hassan's face.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Maybe.. You didn't see what I did to Edge last week..
-[[ Hassan cracks a smile. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] Oh, I saw... I saw.. YOU LOSE!!
-[[ Both men begin breathing heavily in each other's faces.. ]]-
[ Muhammad Hassan ] It's pathetic.. How you Americans... Roll over and DIE.. When you're faced with a situation.. Where you have to defend yourself... The man took your WOMAN.... AND YOUR BEST FRIEND.... And when you were faced with the opportunity to get revenge.......... YOU FAILED!!
-[[ Venis looks down at the championship belt and back up at Hassan.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Hassan.. Let me tell you something right now... I don't want your belt... But if you keep pushing me... Then after I win this tournament, I'm coming after it just to spite you...... So, word of advice... Back off..
-[[ Venis takes a step forward, forcing Hassan back a step. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Because if I come after you.. It won't be for your belt.. It'll be for your blood..
-[[ He looks down at the belt again. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Because as far as that belt is concerned..... Been there... Done that.
-[[ He looks back up at Hassan.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Now..... Get the fuck out of my way.
Venis and Orlando push past Hassan and the Jihad, leaving them staring
from a distance, Hassan shaking with fury.
"Super Model" Amy Love
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Charles Robinson
Winners: Trish Stratus via Pin Fall
[ Christian ] Well, it looks like Solid Gold's women's division sure was a success, Jeff..
-[[ He laughs. ]]-
[ Christian ] But I guess I can be.. A little lenient.. I mean, all wrestling promoters are entitled to at least one XFL fiasco, right? ..What a joke.
-[[ Christian shakes his head. ]]-
[ Christian ] Ya' see, Jeff..... The fans don't care about the first women's wrestler in SGW history.. Just like they didn't care about your bogus world title reign.. I mean, you didn't even defend the thing for nearly FOUR MONTHS!! So, your women's division...... Just like your world title reign....... IS CANCELED...
-[[ He pats himself on the.. Championship belt... ]]-
[ Christian ] Courtesy.. Of the Christian.. Coalition!!
-[[ Christian has a smug look on his face.. He looks around at the fans.. The boos are deafening.. ]]-
[ Christian ] And nobody... Nobody saw it coming!! I mean... I quit.. Because of a stupid women's division? ME? Quit? Oh no.. That was only step one in the master plan, baby.. And then I used Trishy-baby here to lure Jeff right in.. Hook, line, and sinker... And look what we have here today...
-[[ He raises the championship belt in the air.. ]]-
[ Christian ] A sight that... NOBODY thought they would ever see in Solid Gold Wrestling!!
-[[ He tilts his head back... ]]-
[ Christian ] CHRIS-TIAN!!! CHRIS-TIAAAAAAAAN!!
-[[ He shuts his eyes and yells as loud as he can.. ]]-
[ Christian ] THE HEAVYWEIGHT.. CHAMPION... OF THE WOOOORRRRLLLLLLLLD!!!
-[[ Christian acknowledges the entrance ramp.. ]]-
[ Christian ] And right up that ramp and through that curtain... In my personal dressing room...
-[[ He raises his eyebrows with a big smile on his face.. ]]-
[ Christian ] That's a perk of being the world champion, by the way..
-[[ He goes back to business.. ]]-
[ Christian ] You'll find my Gimmick Championship.. That I also WON at the pay-per-view!! And even though I see myself carrying this one around in public a lot more than the other one... It's good.. To be a double champion.. Don't doubt that for a SECOND...
-[[ Christian holds the championship belt in front of the camera.. ]]-
[ Christian ] So... If anybody in the back has somethin' to say about how I won this belt.. Or that OTHER belt... Heh.. You know where to find me.. Because unlike DUBBA-DUBBA J.. I'm not gonna hide, I'm just gonna kick your ass... Because THAT.......
-[[ He leans into the camera and yells. ]]-
[ Christian ] IS HOW I ROLL!!
-[[ Trish takes the microphone from Christian and addresses the camera herself now.. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] And, Jeffy-baby... Get well soon, 'kay? We miss you!
-[[ She laughs. ]]-
[ Trish Stratus ] ..Idiot.
She throws the
microphone down as "Just Close Your Eyes" hits.. The Coalition heads to
the back.. ]]-
HOUR 2 ->