Date: Sunday, March 12th, 2006 | Live From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Commentators: Joey Styles & Don Callis
-[[ Nancy Sinatra's "Bang Bang" filters over the screen as the logo fades... As the song begins to unfold, you see a black and white shot of Tyson Tomko and Trish Stratus standing amongst a slew of druids.. The movement in the video is slow, but not full-on slow motion... The picture is grainy, giving the impression that the footage is decades old... The cryptic voice of a narrator speaks over the song... ]]-
It began with one man's fall from grace..
-[[ Tomko bends down for only a few seconds before raising back up with Jeff Jarrett on his shoulders... Trish Stratus motions for Tomko to drop him and Jeff Jarrett's body is sent spiraling past the steel grating of the stage and into the depths of the boiler room..... ]]-
[ Joey Styles ] Oh.. My.. GOD!! Tyson Tomko just power bombed Jeff Jarrett through the stage!!
[ Don Callis ] He could be hurt, Joey.. I'm talking SERIOUS injuries!!
-[[ Blood flows from the back of Jeff Jarrett's head as a lone druid approaches him slowly.. And removes his hood.. ]]-
And the chaos that would ensue.. Would be rivaled by no other..
[ Joey Styles ] CHRISTIAN!! CHRISTIAN WAS BEHIND THE APOKOLIPS!?!
[ Don Callis ] See, Joey.. It was what we in the industry call.. A clever ruse.. There never was an Apokolips!! Christian has pulled the wool over the eyes of our beloved owner, Jeff Jarrett, and cashed in his Pick Your Title Shot Tournament win at the crucial moment........ And it paid off!!
-[[ Christian raises the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship over his head, smiling.. ]]-
Until the fateful day.. When Jeff Jarrett.. Was replaced......
-[[ The ripping sound of a record being stopped prematurely grates on your nerves.. The sight of Maria sitting amongst a bunch of wrestlers in the meeting room is almost comical as she sits there with a look on her face that looks more like she's trying to LOOK interested rather than truly being interested or even grasping what is being discussed.. ]]-
[ Maria ] What's an owner?
-[[ The video immediately goes full color and the chorus of "Let's Get Retarded" by the Black Eyed Peas EXPLODES into the video as we're immediately shown rapid fire shots of Maria bumbling through her new interim owner position... Jillian Hall stands in awe as as Maria presents her with Solid Gold Wrestling's newest acquisition, UPW's very own ALF!! Maria is jumping up and down, she's so happy to have Alf on the roster.. Jillian just stares at it, having no idea what to say.. ]]-
[ Maria ] I made him an offer he couldn't say no to!!
[ Jillian Hall ] He can't say.. ANYTHING!!
[ Maria ] LOL I KNOW!
-[[ The sight of Kurt Angle clutching Alf in his hand with a look of disbelief on his face, followed immediately by Kurt Angle making a dive for his corner only to see Alf tumble off of the apron, denying Kurt Angle the hot tag!! Angle screams in fury and walks out on his partner, leaving him to be ripped in half by Lance Storm and Mike Awesome.. Maria weeps by his remains as the EMTs rush in and strap him to a stretcher, before carrying him off into the great beyond.. Or wherever it is that that.. Damaged.. Stuffed animals.. Go to... Ahem.. ]]-
[ Maria ] He's dead!! ALF IS DEAD!! I'm so SAD!!
-[[ She covers her eyes and begins sobbing hard.. An SGW stage hand approaches her and places his hand on her shoulder.. She looks over at him, not knowing what to expect.. He doesn't look like he has good news for her... With sorrow in his voice, he breaks even more bad news to her on the life and death front.. ]]-
[ EMT ] Maria..... We lost Taz... We.. Need a second ambulance..
[ Maria ] Who's Taz?
Like an overjoyed, full-grown Saint Bernard, she ran recklessly around Solid Gold Wrestling... Showering anyone who would pay attention to her with love....
-[[ A quick shot of her handing the Solid Gold Wrestling Hardcore Championship to Cactus Jack and then giving him a quick hug before pulling back and pinching her nose at the stench of the hardcore legend.... ]]-
And leaving an indescribable path of destruction in her wake...
-[[ A rental car, containing the body of Taz slams head first into a speeding eighteen wheeler and explodes, obliterating both vehicles as well as the bodies inside.. And then the shot of two caskets and a Wal-Mart bag burning in the center of the ring as Maria seemingly allows ANYTHING to go without punishment or calling the proper authorities... And then, Tom Cruise is climbing the guardrail and getting inside of the ring.. He and Maria jump and down with big smiles on their faces.. She couldn't be happier to have this man involved with Solid Gold Wrestling.. ]]-
[ Maria ] TOM CRUISE!! TOM CRUISE IS GOING TO WRESTLE AT HEARTBREAKER!!
-[[ Cruise looks shocked.. ]]-
[ Maria ] HE'S GOING TO WRESTLE FOR THE WORLD TITLE!! YAY~!!
On March twelfth, two thousand and six....
-[[ Kill THAT music, go back to black and white... And cue up "A Silhouette of Doom" by Ennio Morricone as a limousine pulls into the parking lot and out steps... Christian and his scheduled opponent, Tom Cruise!! Christian and Cruise are talking like old college buddies but you can't make out a word they say until Christian's voice becomes the only one audible as he says.. ]]-
[ Christian ] I'm going to poke you right about here.. And you just go down..
-[[ Tom Cruise nods, going along with the plan.. Cue the shot of Maria and Jillian Hall throwing a fit as they realize Christian and Cruise planned on cheating in their match at Heartbreaker.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Tom Cruise.. Cheating!? Why, Tom Cruise!? WHY!?
-[[ Cruise smiles.. ]]-
Two men will do battle....
[ Tom Cruise ] Because I don't care about you... OR MY FANS!!
[ Maria ] GASP!!
-[[ Cruise and Christian laugh and high five, thoroughly owning Maria.. ]]-
[ Maria ] I'm changing the match!!
One more time......
[ Christian ] WHAT!? NO!!
[ Maria ] It's going to be a tag team match.. It's going to be Christian and Tom Cruise... Against.. Against...
-[[ Another song is cut... And "Headstrong" by Trapt is heard as Val Venis is seen packing back and forth across the ramp with a microphone in his hand... Muhammad Hassan is standing in the ring, having been listening to Venis speak for a few moments now.... Venis yells loudly into the microphone.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] I... AM... IN!!
FOR ALL TIME!
-[[ Maria stands on the apron next to Venis, jumping up and down, having found her opponent for Christian.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Don't worry about me stabbing you in the back, Hassan.. After Heartbreaker, when I'm the world champion.. I'LL STAB YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE!!
-[[ Two hands clap together backstage and grip tightly... As you pan back, you see Bret "The Hitman" Hart and Val Venis are the two men showing this sign of unity... They stare hard into each other's eyes.. ]]-
[ Bret Hart ] I could've picked anyone I wanted....... But I chose you..
-[[ The song grows louder as Christian, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, and Orlando Jordan brawl hard in the backstage area.. Venis and Christian fight on top of the merchandise table while Tomko and Jordan fight like mad men... The slamming of a chair is heard and the screams of Orlando Jordan filter in the shot.. You see his broken arm.. You see Val Venis, being held back by security, yelling at Teddy Long as Christian laughs.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] I need you more than ever now.... Teddy..
-[[ Teddy Long, not a bit shaken by this, speaks.. ]]-
[ Teddy Long ] I'll be there for ya', playa'... BELEE-DAT!!
-[[ Christian shakes his head in disbelief.. Cut back to the shot of Bret Hart and Val Venis shaking hands.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] There will be a new world champion at Heartbreaker...
ONLY ONE.. WILL LEAVE AS CHAMPION..
[ Christian ] This world title reign.. IS LASTING FOREVER!!
[ Val Venis ] And Solid Gold Wrestling.. Will never be the same again....
-[[ A shot of Christian cupping his ear.. ]]-
And only one will leave... With their heart... BROKEN!
[ Christian ] I CAN'T HEAR YOU..... I'VE GOT A WORLD TITLE IN MY EAR!!
-[[ Boom. ]]-
CHRISTIAN & TOM
CRUISE versus VAL VENIS & TEDDY LONG
-[[ Cut to the arena where the fans are buzzing in anticipation after that lengthy video package... As the fan noise reaches a fever pitch, Maria's music hits to a HUGE pop.. She jogs out onto the ramp, jumping up and down with a big smile on her face.. She blows kisses to all of the fans and begins jogging down the ramp.. She slaps hands with fans on the way down and climbs the ring steps.. She enters and gives Gary Michael Cappetta a big hug.. She takes his microphone and begins addressing the fans.. She sounds really happy to be there.. ]]-
[ Maria ] HEY, EVERYBODY~!!! WELCOME TO HEARTBREAKER!!
-[[ She clasps her hands together and jumps up and down.. ]]-
[ Maria ] IT'S MY FIRST PAY-PER-VIEW AS THE OWNER OF SGW!!
-[[ The fans are going nuts for her.. She calms down for a second, it seems.. ]]-
[ Maria ] And I promise everyone.. This is going to be the best pay-per-view EVER.. We're all gonna have FUN!!
-[[ The fans pop huge for that.. She continues, growing more excited.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Now.. I know I should probably wait until the main event before I do this.. But I just couldn't help myself!!
-[[ She motions toward the ramp.... ]]-
[ Maria ] Ladies and gentlemen.. Allow me to introduce to you.. FUNSHINE BEAR!! TENDERHEART BEAR!! AND LOVE-A-LOT BEAR!! THE CARE BEARS!!!! CHEER FOR THE CARE BEARS!! YAY!!!
-[[ Three people wearing large, mascot style Care Bear costumes stomp out onto the ramp and hug each other and begin dancing down toward the ring where Maria is jumping up and down with excitement.. The three Care Bears climb into the ring and Maria begins showing them with praises.. ]]-
[ Maria ] WOW!! OMIGOSH.. LIKE.. IT'S REALLY THE CARE BEARS!! LOOK, EVERYONE!!
-[[ The Care Bears begin dancing around Maria in a circle as she jumps up and down, laughing.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Everybody.. Sing the Care Bear song!!
-[[ The fans.. They just don't know how to react.. ]]-
[ Maria ] I WANNA BE A CARE BEAR.. OH, IT'LL BE SO GREAT WHEN I'M A CARE BEAR!!
-[[ The Care Bears continue dancing in a circle around her.. ]]-
[ Maria ] OH, I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO BE A CARE BEAR!! AND DO THE THINGS THAT CARE BEARS DO!! HA HA!!
-[[ She turns to the ramp.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Turn on the Golden-Tron! Go backstage!!
-[[ The Golden-Tron flashes to life and a backstage camera settles on Tyson Tomko sitting backstage with Jim Cornette and Trish Stratus.. Christian is nowhere to be seen... Maria speaks. ]]-
[ Maria ] Sing it, Tomko!! Sing the Care Bear song!! HA HA~!!
-[[ Tomko stares straight into the camera. ]]-
[ Tyson Tomko ] ..No.
-[[ Maria pouts and Jim Cornette stands up and slaps the camera sideways.. ]]-
[ Jim Cornette ] Get that god damn good for nothin' camera right the fuck out of here--
-[[ The shot immediately changes and now the camera is lingering in another part of the locker room.. Chavo Guerrero and Pepe wander in front of the camera.. Chavo's wearing his wrestling gear despite not being booked, and speaking of that.. The hell is he doing backstage at Heartbreaker at all!? Chavo turns and notices the camera, the fans pop huge.. He seems delightfully surprised.. ]]-
[ Chavo Guerrero ] Oh... Hey, TV land! ...And hey, Maria!!
-[[ She waves at him from the ring. ]]-
[ Maria ] HEY, CHAVO!! Tomko wouldn't finish the song and that hurt my feelings!!
-[[ She puts on her best puppy-dog look.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Will you? PLEASE? PRETTY-PRETTY PLEASE!?
-[[ Chavo holds Pepe up and puts one hand on his hip.. He smiles.. ]]-
[ Chavo Guerrero ] I'd be GLAD to!!
-[[ Chavo clears his throat.. ]]-
[ Chavo Guerrero ] Ohhhhhh, I WANNA BE A CARE BEAR.. LIKE YOU!!
[ Maria ] ..YOU DO!?
[ Chavo Guerrero ] I'll be like Funshine.. And make the SUN SHINE!!
[ Pepe ] .. . .. . .....
[ Chavo Guerrero ] You know the words, too, Pepe!?
[ Pepe ] .. . . . .
[ Chavo Guerrero ] Then let's sing it together!!
-[[ And.. They do. ]]-
[ Chavo Guerrero | Pepe ] And have a heart like Love-A-Lot!! [ .. .. . ... ] I'll be like WISH BEAR [ .. . .. . . .. ] and ALWAYS be the--
-[[ The fans ERUPT in boos as the Golden-Tron shuts off and Randy Orton's music hits.. Randy Orton and "Cowboy" Bob Orton walk out onto the ramp.. Randy and Bob both strike the "HEY!" pose to another huge burst of heat.. Randy looks down at the ring and shakes his head, looking furious that this is going on in the ring.... Randy's already dressed for his match later tonight.. He and "Cowboy" Bob make their way down to the ring and climb inside.. Maria looks terrified.. The Care Bears have stopped dancing... Orton walks right up to Maria with no hesitation.. He plucks the microphone from her hand and sits there, staring her right in the face..... ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] I was sitting in the back just now.. Watching you BURY the good name of Solid Gold Wrestling, somehow, even more thoroughly than I buried the name of Taz... And I tried to sit and let it go.. But I.. Much like these fans.. HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!
-[[ Orton steps away from Maria as the fans boo.. He looks around at the Bears in the ring.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Care Bears? Care Bears, Maria? This is a wrestling company... Not some.. Playground... Where your twisted, infantile imagination comes to life!!
-[[ She looks like she's going to cry... Orton smirks.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] But.... I thought of something while I was in the back.. That would make it so that these... Idiots in suits weren't flown out here for no reason at all..... Oh yes, I did... You see, Maria.. The Care Bears have been around for a long... LONG TIME...... They're pioneers.. In the cartoon industry..
-[[ Orton looks up, thinking.. And then nods to himself.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] You might even say they're....... LEGENDS..
-[[ The fans "ooooooooh," knowing what Orton has in mind.. Maria begins shaking her head.. This can't be happening. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] And you KNOW.. What that means..
-[[ Orton smiles a big cheesy smile.. He hands the microphone off to "Cowboy" Bob.. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] Randy.. Meet the Care Bears....
-[[ He chuckles.. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] Care Bears.. Meet my boy, Randy... Randy Orton....
-[[ A pause. ]]-
[ "Cowboy" Bob Orton ] ......LEGEND KILLER!!
-[[ Randy hops forward and kicks Funshine Bear right in the gut before European uppercutting him so hard that his big, furry head goes rolling across the ring!! The unfortunate actor portraying him rolls out of the ring and Orton turns and nails Tenderheart Bear in the gut before turning right around and throwing a huge right cross THROUGH Love-A-Lot Bear's head, knocking the man inside unconscious!! Tenderheart Bear staggers around, holding his mid-section and Orton drops to one knee, sizing him up...... Maria is BAWLING, screaming at Orton to stop... Orton goes for the RKO!! But Tenderheart Bear shoves him off and rips off his own head........ MICHAEL SHANE!! MICHAEL SHANE IS TENDERHEART BEAR!! He rips off the rest of the suit, revealing blue jeans and a TAZ 6:32 t-shirt!! Randy Orton looks up, shocked that Michael Shane pulled this one over on him.. Michael Shane and Randy Orton begin brawling like crazy and Michael Shane whips Orton into the ropes.. Orton goes for a clothesline and Shane ducks it... TAZMISSION!! TAZMISSION!! Randy Orton is yelling and trying to fight it and "Cowboy" Bob blasts Michael Shane from behind, forcing him to release Orton from the hold!! Both Ortons roll out of the ring.. Michael Shane walks over and consoles Maria as Randy and Bob back up the ramp.. "Cowboy" Bob still has the microphone.. Randy takes it from him.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] Michael Shane.. YOU BASTARD!!
-[[ He shakes his head, as if he's trying to convince himself that what just happened really did.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] ..You bastard... You can forget all about.. Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass.. You can forget ALL ABOUT.. Taz 6:32.. Twice as pissed.... Because after I'm done with you tonight... After I've taken MY title back.... You're going to be Michael Shane 12:64...... THREE TIMES AS DEAD!!
Michael Shane motions for him to bring
it on as the Ortons head to the back..
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Nick Patrick
[ Chris Masters ] This is the competition that awaits me in Solid Gold Wrestling?
-[[ He furiously kicks Carlito in the face while he's down.. The fans are booing loudly.. ]]-
[ Chris Masters ] This is pathetic! Ridiculous! This isn't fit... For a Masterpiece, such as myself...
-[[ Masters has a disbelieving look on his face.. ]]-
[ Chris Masters ] These guys think they're pros? They're nobodies.. And speaking of NOBODIES... There's NOBODY in Solid Gold Wrestling..... That can break my Masterlock.. And anybody that thinks they can... Are freeeeeee to TRY!!
The glass shatters and "STONE COLD" STEVE AUSTIN stomps down the ramp!!
Austin slides in the ring and Masters goes right after him but Stone Cold
catches him off guard!! The two men trade punches left and right and
Masters goes a Polish Hammer but Austin ducks it and spins Masters
around.. KICK WHAM STUNN- NO!! Masters shoves him off and rolls out of the
ring!! Masters backs up the ramp, looking pissed off as Austin flips him
the double bird and smiles.. The fans are going NUTS for Austin.. Masters
disappears in the back as Austin celebrates with the fans..
Winner: Chris Masters via Referee's Decision
[ Bob Backlund ] Just thirty more, Kurt.. THIRTY MORE!!
-[[ Kurt doesn't answer.. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] You're going to destroy the harlot.. The jezebel.. The SLUT!!
-[[ Still no answer, only heavy breathing and push-ups.. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] You made her bleed last week... Tonight.. You will make her tap out!!
-[[ He slaps Kurt hard in the side as he rises up and down.. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] And why are you going to do this, Kurt? WHY!?
-[[ No answer. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] Because you are the best there is at what you do!!
-[[ He slaps Kurt in the side again. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] You are an Olympic Gold Medalist!! The only one in SGW history!!
-[[ Kurt shows no sign of slowing down.. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] And she... IS A WOMAN!!
-[[ Backlund is growing more intense now.. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] A woman.. Who has no business being in a MAN'S RING!! And you're going to show this to her, Kurt.. You're going to prove to her tonight, while she screams in your unbreakable GRIP... That she.. DOES NOT.. BELONG!! IS THAT RIGHT, KURT!? AM I CORRECT IN MY ASSUMPTION THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DECIMATE THIS WOMAN!?
-[[ Kurt's voice is low, strained. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] ..yes..
[ Bob Backlund ] I can't hear you, Kurt..
[ Kurt Angle ] ..Yes...
[ Bob Backlund ] I CAN'T HEAR YOU, KURT!!
[ Kurt Angle ] YESSSSSS!!
-[[ Kurt raises up so hard that it throws Backlund off of him.. Backlund looks shocked.. Kurt begins to stand up.. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] You are going to take her name.. And throw it into OBLITACREE!
-[[ Kurt, jumping up and down in place looks at Backlund.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] The hell is that?
-[[ Backlund shrugs. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] What? Oblitacree? I heard Shane Douglas use it in a promo once.
[ Kurt Angle ] It's not even a word.
-[[ Backlund shakes his head frantically.. ]]-
[ Bob Backlund ] Words do not matter tonight, Kurt.. ONLY ACTION!!
[ Kurt Angle ] That's right.. YEAH!!
-[[ He looks Bob dead in the eye, shaking with intensity.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] I'm going to make Chyna tap out..
-[[ A female clears her throat from somewhere in the room.. Kurt looks around and sees MARIA standing in the door with a disappointed look on her face.. She walks into the room.. Kurt and Backlund don't look happy about this.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Kurt.. I have bad news..
-[[ She looks down like she's too ashamed to tell him.. ]]-
[ Maria ] I've known about it for a few days now.. But... I just couldn't find a way to tell you..
-[[ She sticks her bottom lip out, doing her puppy-dog face again.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Because I thought it would make you sad.. And the thought of making YOU sad made ME sad!
-[[ Kurt nods, his hands on his hips.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Alright.. Get to the point.. What is it?
[ Maria ] Chyna can't wrestle you tonight.. You hurt her too bad last week, meanie.. Why'd you hit a girl!?
-[[ Kurt looks shocked.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] She came after me first!!
[ Maria ] Did not!
[ Kurt Angle ] Did too!!
[ Maria ] Did not!!
[ Kurt Angle ] Did too!!
[ Maria ] Did not!!
[ Kurt Angle ] DID TOO!!
[ Maria ] DID NOT!!
-[[ Kurt Angle throws his thumbs and index fingers together in Maria's face, making a 'W'.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Whatever.
-[[ Then it hits him.. ]]-
[ Kurt Angle ] Wait a second.. You've let me go this whole week thinking I was facing Chyna.. And now I don't have an opponent.. I've got my gear on, I'm ready for a match... WHO AM I FACING, MISSY!?
-[[ Maria pouts. ]]-
[ Maria ] First off, mister, my name isn't Missy, it's Maria.. And I've already found you an opponent!! And I think you'll like him.. Since you like doing that foot thing that makes people slap the mat, I found a guy on our roster that likes doing things to feet, too!! Gene Snitsky!!
-[[ Kurt's mouth hangs open in shock... From Chyna.. TO SNITSKY!? ]]-
[ Maria ] YAY! I knew you'd love it, Kurt!! Bye-bye!!
She gives Kurt a quick hug and bounces
out of the room, leaving Kurt and Backlund by themselves again..
Sting & Shawn Michaels versus
Alex Shelley & Jimmy Rave
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Mark Yeaton
[ Don Harris ] We're back, bitches... And we got some good news... And some BAD NEWS!!
-[[ Boos. ]]-
[ Don Harris ] The bad news is... We just killed four men in cold blood... Because this match SUCKS!!
-[[ Ron laughs and slaps Don on the back.. ]]-
[ Don Harris ] And the good news is... We just saved a WHOOOOOLE lot of money on our car insurance!!
-[[ Don kicks Alex Shelley's limp body in the shoulder.. ]]-
[ Don Harris ] Fuckin' Maries..
They leave as the fans boo.
Winners: The Harris Brothers via Shocking Return Beat Down
[ Teddy Long ] I don't know if I can do this, playa..
-[[ Venis doesn't even look up.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Of course you can, Teddy.
-[[ Long kneels down next to Val's chair.. ]]-
[ Teddy Long ] Val, man... Playa', I just don't want to let ya' down..
[ Val Venis ] You won't let me down, Teddy.
-[[ Long is becoming increasingly worried, bearing his soul to Venis.. ]]-
[ Teddy Long ] But, Val.. What if I get pinned, dawg?
-[[ A pause.. ]]-
[ Teddy Long ] What if I cost you the championship, playa'?
-[[ Venis looks up at Long and puts his hand on his shoulder.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Teddy.. If we lose this match.. I'll have no one to blame but myself..
-[[ Long looks down, knowing how important this is to Venis.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] All I need.. Is for you to be there for me.. Waiting in your corner for the tag.
[ Teddy Long ] I'll be there, playa'.. Belee-dat..
-[[ Venis smirks.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] But if you pin one of those guys and win my title.. THEN we'll have a problem.. Player.. Heh heh..
-[[ Venis and Long slap hands together and grip them tight.. ]]-
[ Teddy Long ] You don't have to worry about that for a second, dawg.. belee-dat!
-[[ Orlando speaks.. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] I ain't worried about nothin'... Tonight, Christian's gonna get what's comin' to him..
-[[ He continues running his hand around the wrist of the cast.. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] I'm gonna give him the receipt, the register, the money unda' the drawer.. I'm gonna give him EVERYTHING for what he did to me last week...
-[[ Venis turns to Orlando, a stern look on his face.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] OJ.. I'd really rather you stayed back here.. I don't want you to get injured any worse.. After what happened to Kristal last week--
-[[ Orlando stands up and kicks his chair behind him.. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] I ain't gonna get injured any worse, V-Squared!! What happened to Kristal ain't gonna happen to me.. She was a woman.. I'm A DAMN MAN!! It ain't ME that should be worried about GETTIN' injured.. It's CHRISTIAN!! And tonight, I'm gonna be at ringside... It don't matta' if he's got Trish, Tomko, and Jim Cornette.. Katie Holmes.. IT DON'T MATTER, VAL.... Because there's always room for Orlando and he's gonna find that out first hand!!
-[[ Venis stands up and extends his hand... ]]-
[ Val Venis ] Orlando.. I'm sorry.. If you want to be at ringside.. I wouldn't have it any other way..
-[[ Orlando hesitates.. And then shakes Venis' hand... The door to the dressing room swings open and Christian walks in like this is his own dressing room.. He has the world championship slung over his shoulder.. Tom Cruise and Tyson Tomko trail him inside.. Venis, Orlando, and even Long look ready to start fighting.. Christian marches right up into Venis's face.. Christian has a smug look on his face.. He hoists the title up further on his shoulder.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Do you think you're ready for this?
-[[ Venis looks at the belt longingly.. And then back up at Christian.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] You're god damn right I am.
-[[ Christian smirks.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Take a good look.. This is as close as you're ever going to get to it.
-[[ Orlando steps up.. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] You better kiss that belt goodbye, Christian, because tonight--
-[[ Christian cuts him off. ]]-
[ Christian ] Whoa, whoa.. Back the hell up, Baby Boy...
-[[ Orlando's eyes go wide.. ]]-
[ Orlando Jordan ] Excuse me!? The HELL did you juss' call me!?
-[[ Christian doesn't even dignify his response, only finishing what he started.. ]]-
[ Christian ] ...Before I break your other arm..
-[[ Christian then contorts his face into a tough-guy look and throws up the Westside hand sign. ]]-
[ Christian ] YA' HEARD!?
-[[ Tomko slaps Christian on the back, looking amused.. ]]-
[ Tyson Tomko ] Owned.
-[[ Orlando lunges and Venis is barely able to hold him back, but before the shit can jump off any further, the door opens again and Bret "The Hitman" Hart walks in, already wearing his referee shirt and black pants.. He storms in between the two factions and somehow, his presence alone is enough to cool off the heat.. He speaks.. ]]-
[ Bret Hart ] That's enough.. I'm serious.. Save it for the ring.
-[[ Christian isn't satisfied.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Orlando just assaulted me, Bret!! I demand you remove Val Venis from the match!!
-[[ He turns and slaps Cruise on the chest, Cruise cringes in pain.. ]]-
[ Christian ] The fans DEMAND Christian versus Tom Cruise, dammit!!
-[[ Hart turns and jams his finger in Christian's face.. ]]-
[ Bret Hart ] Go back to your dressing room.. Now.
-[[ Christian doesn't budge. ]]-
[ Christian ] That's easy for you to say, Hart.. Forcing me to defend my title against Venis.. When you never defended your own championship against anyone worth a damn.. And never stuck around long enough to be put in a position to lose it.. You call yourself a champion? Or more importantly.. A legend?
-[[ Hart doesn't move, just taking the abuse. ]]-
[ Christian ] The only thing people are going to remember about you.. Is the legendary ASS KICKING I put on you if you screw me over tonight.. Ya' know.. Screw me over... Like you did to Taz six years ago.. It'd be just like you to screw me out of the belt and put it on someone pathetic like Teddy Long.. Or worse, Val Venis, so you can come in like the cavalry and win it from them... You've always been a glory hog, Hart.. And if you cross me tonight...
-[[ Christian is dead serious.. ]]-
[ Christian ] You're going to DIE a glory hog.
-[[ Christian looks over at his belt and places a hand on the large center plate.. ]]-
[ Christian ] That's how I roll...
-[[ Christian and Tomko turn and walk out of the room, leaving Cruise to himself.. He looks Hart up and down.. ]]-
[ Tom Cruise ] Yeah.. That's how I roll, too... Bitch.
-[[ Tom Cruise storms out behind them.. Venis puts his hand on Hart's shoulder.. ]]-
[ Val Venis ] You're going to let him talk to you that way?
-[[ Bret looks down.. ]]-
[ Bret Hart ] He'll get what's coming to him.
[ Val Venis ] What are you going to do?
[ Bret Hart ] I'm going to call it down the middle..
-[[ He turns and looks at Venis.. ]]-
[ Bret Hart ] The rest is up to you.
Hart leaves the room.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin versus
Title on the Line: None
Stipulation: Brahma Bull Strap Match
Referee: Charles Robinson
Winner: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
[ Jillian Hall ] Ladies and gentlemen.. I am standing here right now to make an absolutely.. Huge.. Announcement about Solid Gold Wrestling's next big pay-per-view event!!
-[[ Big pop. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] On Sunday, April 16th, Solid Gold Wrestling will bring to you.... WORLD WARRIOR!!
-[[ A pause as she allows the fans to calm down a bit before she continues.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] But this isn't just ANY pay-per-view.. This pay-per-view will be the culmination of a tournament that will take place across the four episodes of Shock leading up to it... There will be sixteen men, all representing their respective countries.... Each episode of Shock will take place in a different country.. For instance.. Next week on Shock... We'll be in BRAZIL!!
-[[ Jillian seems almost as giddy as Maria was at the beginning of the show.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Sixteen men, five different countries.. But only ONE.. Can be the WORLD WARRIOR!!
-[[ Jillian turns to the side, smiling.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] And it wouldn't be possible without THIS man...
-[[ She continues addressing this person off camera.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] He is the man who will be hosting this tournament and special guest refereeing the finals at the pay-per-view.. You all know him as the former owner of the League of Champions....... RICKY.. "THE DRAGON" .. STEAMBOAT!!
-[[ Huge pop.. Ricky Steamboat walks into the shot, looking dead serious.. He looks up into the camera and a smirk begins to creep across his face.. The fans are ecstatic to see Steamboat here at Heartbreaker.. He waits for the massive response to die down before he speaks.. ]]-
[ Ricky Steamboat ] Oh yes.. This tournament.. Is the brainchild of the great Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat.. It was an idea I toyed with during the inception of my League of Champions... But.. Heh... Things fell through thanks to my world champion... And Solid Gold Wrestling's true owner, Jeff Jarrett..
-[[ Boos for the mention of that name.. ]]-
[ Ricky Steamboat ] Easy.. There's no foreshadowing in my words.. He still lies motionless in his hospital bed.. I paid him a visit myself.. And oh... How upset he was when he realized that our.. Lovely.. Maria and Jillian.. Put the "Dragon" on the payroll... But the fans.. And Jeff Jarrett can rest assured.......
-[[ Steamboat pauses.. ]]-
[ Ricky Steamboat ] I come here not to harm Solid Gold Wrestling for the crimes you committed against my League of Champions.. But to help it... For as much as I owe you in return for what you've done... I love this business far too much to damage the only true... Player... In our industry.. Which is why I've brought my tournament.. Directly to you..
-[[ Steamboat reaches down and pulls Jillian's hand to his lips.. ]]-
[ Ricky Steamboat ] Jillian.. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity.
-[[ She seems flattered.. He turns back to the camera.. ]]-
[ Ricky Steamboat ] And thank all of you.. For allowing an old timer like myself.. Another chance.. At the big time.
Huge pop.. And the Tron shuts off.
HOUR 2 ->