Date: Sunday, March 12th, 2006 | Live From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Commentators: Joey Styles & Don Callis
[ Mike Awesome ] HEY!! WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCKIN' FUCK!?
-[[ "Stone Cold" smiles and keeps walking but Mike Awesome storms up behind him and spins him around.. ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] HEY, ASSHOLE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKIN'!? YOU GOT FUCKIN' BEER ALL FUCKIN' OVER ME!!
-[[ Austin looks at him, obviously not giving a shit. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] So?
[ Mike Awesome ] SO!? SO, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP, STEVE AUSTIN!! I'M GONNA FUCK.. YOU.. UP!!
-[[ Austin smirks. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] Is that right?
-[[ Awesome nods up and down, laughing and rubbing his hands together.. ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] YEAH!! YOU'RE FUCKED!! LIKE JENNA JAMESON!! FUCKIN' FUCKED!!
-[[ Austin looks down, rubs his goatee... And then sucker punches Awesome in the face, but as soon as Awesome reels back from the impact, "Stone Cold" is separated from him by Elix Skipper and Lance Storm.. Austin looks ready to start going toe to toe with all of them, but Storm isn't looking for a fight.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Steve Austin.. Stop right there..
-[[ Awesome stomps up behind Storm, breathing heavily.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] I would think you would have learned that Team Canada is a group with whom you would not want to mess.. But I guess.. I thought wrong.. Am I correct, Steve?
-[[ Austin doesn't move, just stares at Storm. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Because the last time we faced off in the ring....
-[[ Awesome jams his finger over Storm's shoulder and into Austin's face. ]]-
[ Mike Awesome ] HE FUCKED YOU UP!! THREE COUNT, MOTHER FUCKER!! GOT YOUR ASS PINNED!!
-[[ Storm shakes his head and looks back at Austin, serious again. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] I defeated you.
-[[ Austin's voice is low and gravelly. ]]-
[ Steve Austin ] Ya' didn't beat me, kid.. I beat myself.
-[[ Storm looks down, actually smiling now.. He looks back up.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Am I going to be forced to defeat you again?
-[[ No answer. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Would that prove to you that I truly am the better man, Steve?
-[[ Still nothing. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Because I will.. I will defeat you again.. If it will prove to you once and for all...
-[[ Storm and Austin's faces are only inches apart.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] That I.. Am better than you.
-[[ Storm turns to the rest of Team Canada.. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Come on, everyone... We have a television championship to win.
-[[ Storm turns back and nods at Austin. ]]-
[ Lance Storm ] Steve.
Team Canada walks away, leaving Austin
standing there, stroking his goatee..
Kurt Angle versus
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Mark Yeaton
Winner: Kurt Angle via Submission
[ Shane Douglas ] JILLIAN FUCKING HALL!! HA HA HA.... IT'S ME... SOLID GOLD WRESTLING'S NUMBER ONE FUCKING INTERVIEWER... THE FRANCHISE.. SHANE DOUGLAS!!
-[[ She looks at him, surprised.. She puts her hand on her chest.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] You scared me to death... How did you get in here!?
-[[ Douglas laughs loudly and rubs his goatee frantically.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] THE FRANCHISE IS MOTHER FUCKING.. SNEAKY!! HA HA HA!!
-[[ She rolls her eyes.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Well.... What do you want? There's plenty of talent around here for you to harass with your microphone..
-[[ Douglas chuckles.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] OH NO, JILLIAN... OH-HO-HO-NO!! HA HA HA... I'M NOT HERE TO INTERVIEW YOU PERSONALLY.. BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY... THE FANS.. MUCH LIKE MYSELF..... DON'T GIVE..... TWO FUCKIN' SHITS ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!! BUT TONIGHT... YOU HAVE INFORMATION... THE FANS, MUCH LIKE MYSELF.. HA HA HA... FUCKIN' NEED TO HEAR!!
-[[ She looks like she'd rather be anywhere else but here.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Can you tone it down just a little bit?
[ Shane Douglas ] WHAT!? WHAT!? TONE DOWN.. FUCKIN' WHAT!?
-[[ She stares at him deadpan.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Your voice.. You're at an eleven right now.. I'd rather you be at about.. A four.
-[[ He smiles maniacally.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] HA HA HA.. FUCK NO, BITCH.. THIS IS HOW THE FRANCHISE.. FUCKIN' TALKS!!
-[[ She just stares at him and he continues.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] BUT.. LET'S GET DOWN TO BRASS FUCKING TACKS... THE WORLD WARRIOR TOURNAMENT THAT TAKES PLACE NEXT MONTH...... WHO'S IN IT!? WHO'S IN IT!? WHO.. THE FUCK.. IS IN IT!? HA HA HA...
-[[ She takes a deep breath and forces a smile.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] Well, Shane.. All sixteen competitors haven't been decided on just yet..
-[[ She shrugs.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] But.. There are a few that I can tell you that will be involved.. For instance, in order to give newcomers to Solid Gold Wrestling a fair shot, we'll be including up and coming superstars like... CM Punk, Samoa Joe, Jeff Hardy, and "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters, who I must say, made an impressive debut, wouldn't you say?
-[[ Douglas laughs.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] HE FUCKED.. THOSE GUYS UP!!
-[[ Jillian nods, wondering to herself why she even gave him an opportunity to speak.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] BUT THE OTHERS.. WHO ELSE.. WHO THE FUCK.. ELSSSSSSE!?
-[[ A pause.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] We'll also be including Chris Benoit and our hardcore champion, Cactus Jack.. Solid Gold Wrestling's only Olympic Gold medalist, Kurt Angle, as well as Lance Storm will be included... And.. After some careful discussion.. Despite his continuous disrespect toward Maria and her decisions... We have opted to include Muhammad Hassan in the tournament.. But that's not all... We have a special entrant in the tournament....
-[[ Douglas looks surprised, his eyes go wide. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] For the first time since Six-String Supremacy... Representing Mexico.. CHAVO GUERRERO will return to action to take part in the World Warrior tournament!!
-[[ The fans in the arena pop huge.. ]]-
[ Jillian Hall ] And that, Shane... I'm afraid, is all I have to offer right now?
-[[ Shane nods, smiling.. ]]-
[ Shane Douglas ] THANK YOU, JILLIAN.. HA HA HA... BACK TO THE FUCKIN' RING!!
Cactus Jack(c) versus
John Bradshaw Layfield versus Chris Benoit
Title on the Line: None
Referee: Charles Robinson
Winner & New Hardcore Champion: Chris Benoit via Submission
[ Ken Kennedy ] Hardy Boyz, Shmardy Boyz, Big Show.. What the hell have they done to deserve a shot at us?
-[[ The Big Show shakes his head.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] Nothin'.
[ Ken Kennedy ] That's right.. A big, old bowl of NOTHING with milk.. It's not right.
-[[ Kennedy shrugs.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] We challenged Mike Sanders and Mark Jindrak, because they seem to have some kind of.. HARD-ON.. For starting trouble with Mister Jarrett... We go down to the ring to rattle their cage... And maybe.. Maybe we rattled their cage just a little too hard...
-[[ Big Show looks at his hand and holds his index finger about an inch away from his thumb.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] Just a little bit.. Just a little bit...
[ Ken Kennedy ] And then... These two little gothy kids attack us out of nowhere... And suddenly they're the number one contenders..... I DON'T THINK SO!!
-[[ Big Show doesn't even look over at Kennedy. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] When we go out there tonight, Show.. Just think... They probably attacked us last week.. Even going so far.. SO FAR... As to cause me to be ELIMINATED in the Total Elimination match last week... And then they probably went home.. And wrote about it....... IN THEIR BLOG!!
-[[ The Big Show stops dead in his tracks and looks over at Kennedy. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] I hate bloggers.
[ Ken Kennedy ] Me, too. And I hate gothies... And their stupid poetry they write.
-[[ The Big Show shakes his head.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] Damn... Me, too!!
-[[ Big Show cracks his knuckles.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] I'm gonna KILL these guys tonight!!
[ Ken Kennedy ] We're gonna give these guys something to be all BROODY about in their dark bed rooms tonight.. When they sign online and get on... Myspace or whatever... That little smiley face thing that shows their mood.. Is going to be a SAAAAAAAAAAD SMILEY FACE!!
-[[ Big Show looks up and rubs his chin with one hand thoughtfully.. ]]-
[ The Big Show ] I wonder if there's a smiley face... For being DEAD?
-[[ Kennedy thinks.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] I'm sure there could be.. I mean, I wouldn't rule it out.. But.. How would you accurately switch to that mood.. Dead people don't use computers.. Hell.. They don't do anything... But I like the way you're thinking.. That was good.. Very good..
-[[ Just as they're about to exit through the curtain, Randy Orton stops them.. He shakes hands with each man.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] No mercy tonight, boys..... Tonight, we're sending a message to all of Solid Gold Wrestling..
-[[ He looks at each man, back and forth.. ]]-
[ Randy Orton ] For ourselves... And for Jeff Jarrett.. Let them NEVER forget who brought them to the dance.
-[[ Ken Kennedy gives Orton a military salute. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] We'll make Jeff DAMN proud... DAMN PROUD, INDEED!!
-[[ Orton nods and walks off.. And just as he does, Christian approaches the tag team champions with the world title slung over his shoulder.. He's smiling... Kennedy returns the smile, but Big Show doesn't look too pleased to see him.. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Hey, Big Show.... It's OOOOOOLD RECORD!!
-[[ Christian smiles a fake smile.. ]]-
[ Christian ] You got it, New Record... Yeah.. Whatever..
-[[ He continues without missing a beat.. ]]-
[ Christian ] I just wanted to wish you guys luck..
-[[ Kennedy waves him off. ]]-
[ Ken Kennedy ] Luck? With these guys? They weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet.. COMBINED!!
-[[ Christian shrugs. ]]-
[ Christian ] If you guys say so.. Just remember.. Every great team has their.. Demolition moment.. I just don't want you guys to get out there and take this match lightly and....... CHOKE.. I mean, after all.. You're SO CLOSE to breaking my tag team title record... I'd hate to see that achievement go down the drain..
-[[ Christian slaps Kennedy on the shoulder.. ]]-
[ Christian ] Knock'em dead, slugger.
Christian walks away.. Kennedy and
Show just look at each other, shrug, and walk out for their match.
Ken Kennedy & The Big Show(c) versus
The Hardy Boyz
Title on the Line: SGW World Tag Team Championship
Referee: Scott James
Winners & Still SGW Tag Team Champions: Ken Kennedy & The Big Show via Pin Fall
[ Maria ] OH, MAN.. Guess where I am right now!?
-[[ A pause. ]]-
[ Maria ] WRONG!! HA HA~! I'm standing right outside the dressing room... OF THE MUPPET BABIES!!
-[[ She DOES jump up and down now.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Inside of this room.. Is Kermit the Frog.. Miss Piggy.. And Animal!! I LOVE ANIMAL!!! YAY!!
-[[ She puts her hand on the door knob.. ]]-
[ Maria ] I'm about to go inside and see what they're doing!! Here we go!!
-[[ She turns the knob and begins singing the Muppet Babies theme song.. ]]-
[ Maria ] Muuuuuppet baaaaaaabies!
-[[ She opens the door up and there's smoke everywhere inside the room.. Maria's eyes go wide.. The body of Kermit the Frog is laid on the couch with his oversized mascot head thrown to the side and on fire.. The young man inside the costume's face is covered in blood.. She quickly looks over and the man, yes, the man, playing Miss Piggy is slumped against the wall with piano wire pulled tight across his neck, he isn't moving and likewise, the Piggy head is on fire.. Maria begins screaming loudly.. Animal is in the corner, facing the wall on his knees with a black hood pulled over his head.. There's a blood splatter on the wall where his face rests.. Maria puts her hands on the sides of her head and screams even louder and as she looks around, she sees Arabic writing all over the walls.. And in English, just above Animal's head... Scrawled in blood... ]]-
She backs out of the room in tears.
HOUR 3 ->