-[[ "Stone Cold" Steve Austin stomps down the hallway with a beer in his hand.. He's still breathing heavily from his match with the Rock.. He takes a big swig from the can and tosses it to the side.. There's a dull thump and then the sound of the can clattering on the ground.. Someone yells. ]]-

[ Mike Awesome ] HEY!! WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCKIN' FUCK!?

-[[ "Stone Cold" smiles and keeps walking but Mike Awesome storms up behind him and spins him around.. ]]-

[ Mike Awesome ] HEY, ASSHOLE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKIN'!? YOU GOT FUCKIN' BEER ALL FUCKIN' OVER ME!!

-[[ Austin looks at him, obviously not giving a shit. ]]-

[ Steve Austin ] So?

[ Mike Awesome ] SO!? SO, I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP, STEVE AUSTIN!! I'M GONNA FUCK.. YOU.. UP!!

-[[ Austin smirks. ]]-

[ Steve Austin ] Is that right?

-[[ Awesome nods up and down, laughing and rubbing his hands together.. ]]-

[ Mike Awesome ] YEAH!! YOU'RE FUCKED!! LIKE JENNA JAMESON!! FUCKIN' FUCKED!!

-[[ Austin looks down, rubs his goatee... And then sucker punches Awesome in the face, but as soon as Awesome reels back from the impact, "Stone Cold" is separated from him by Elix Skipper and Lance Storm.. Austin looks ready to start going toe to toe with all of them, but Storm isn't looking for a fight.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Steve Austin.. Stop right there..

-[[ Awesome stomps up behind Storm, breathing heavily.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] I would think you would have learned that Team Canada is a group with whom you would not want to mess.. But I guess.. I thought wrong.. Am I correct, Steve?

-[[ Austin doesn't move, just stares at Storm. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Because the last time we faced off in the ring....

-[[ Awesome jams his finger over Storm's shoulder and into Austin's face. ]]-

[ Mike Awesome ] HE FUCKED YOU UP!! THREE COUNT, MOTHER FUCKER!! GOT YOUR ASS PINNED!!

-[[ Storm shakes his head and looks back at Austin, serious again. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] I defeated you.

-[[ Austin's voice is low and gravelly. ]]-

[ Steve Austin ] Ya' didn't beat me, kid.. I beat myself.

-[[ Storm looks down, actually smiling now.. He looks back up.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Am I going to be forced to defeat you again?

-[[ No answer. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Would that prove to you that I truly am the better man, Steve?

-[[ Still nothing. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Because I will.. I will defeat you again.. If it will prove to you once and for all...

-[[ Storm and Austin's faces are only inches apart.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] That I.. Am better than you.

-[[ Storm turns to the rest of Team Canada.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Come on, everyone... We have a television championship to win.

-[[ Storm turns back and nods at Austin. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Steve.

-[[ Team Canada walks away, leaving Austin standing there, stroking his goatee.. ]]-
 

-[[ Kurt Angle knees Gene Snitsky in the side as he steps over the top rope and immediately takes him to the mat with a headlock takedown.. Snitsky tries to fight out of it, but Angle isn't releasing the hold for anything.. So Snitsky stands up with Angle still attached to him as if he were nothing!! The power of Gene Snitsky is incredible!! Gene Snitsky side slams Kurt Angle into the mat!! Snitsky pulls Angle up and whips him into the ropes.. Snitsky goes for the big boot but Angle ducks it and hooks Snitsky from behind.. GERMAN SUPLEX!! A second one and a third one!! Snitsky is dazed.. Snitsky staggers back to his feet and Angle runs up to him.. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex!! Snitsky groans in pain and clutches his back... Angle is sizing him up.. Snitsky stands slowly and Angle charges at him.. And walks into a BIG BOOT!! Snitsky falls on top of Angle and covers him.. One!! Two!! Thre-- Kurt Angle got a shoulder up!! Snitsky pulls Angle up and begins setting him up for the pump handle slam..... He slings Angle up onto his shoulder and Angle slips out behind... ANGLE SLAM!! Snitsky is down!! Angle is up.. "WOOO!" ANGLE TAKES DOWN THE STRAPS!! He stomps up to Snitsky's legs.... ANKLE LOCK!!! ANKLE LOCK ON GENE SNITSKY!! Snitsky is yelling in pain and he's reaching for the ropes...... He's reaching... REACHING......... REACH-- TAPPING.. TAPPING OUT!! GENE SNITSKY IS TAPPING OUT!! KURT ANGLE HAS JUST FORCED THE SHERIFF OF SHOCK TO TAP OUT TO THE ANKLE LOCK!! Kurt Angle releases the hold and celebrates like he's won the gold medals all over again!! ]]-
 

-[[ We cut backstage where Jillian Hall is standing with her clipboard in hand.. She doesn't seem to notice the camera is even in the room as she scribbles something down on a piece of paper... And then.. The yellow polo shirt strikes for the first time tonight... You got that right, it's "The Franchise" Shane Douglas.. She's not even aware HE is in the room until his voice nearly makes her jump out of her shoes.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] JILLIAN FUCKING HALL!! HA HA HA.... IT'S ME... SOLID GOLD WRESTLING'S NUMBER ONE FUCKING INTERVIEWER... THE FRANCHISE.. SHANE DOUGLAS!!

-[[ She looks at him, surprised.. She puts her hand on her chest.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] You scared me to death... How did you get in here!?

-[[ Douglas laughs loudly and rubs his goatee frantically.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] THE FRANCHISE IS MOTHER FUCKING.. SNEAKY!! HA HA HA!!

-[[ She rolls her eyes.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] Well.... What do you want? There's plenty of talent around here for you to harass with your microphone..

-[[ Douglas chuckles.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] OH NO, JILLIAN... OH-HO-HO-NO!! HA HA HA... I'M NOT HERE TO INTERVIEW YOU PERSONALLY.. BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY... THE FANS.. MUCH LIKE MYSELF..... DON'T GIVE..... TWO FUCKIN' SHITS ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!! BUT TONIGHT... YOU HAVE INFORMATION... THE FANS, MUCH LIKE MYSELF.. HA HA HA... FUCKIN' NEED TO HEAR!!

-[[ She looks like she'd rather be anywhere else but here.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] Can you tone it down just a little bit?

[ Shane Douglas ] WHAT!? WHAT!? TONE DOWN.. FUCKIN' WHAT!?

-[[ She stares at him deadpan.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] Your voice.. You're at an eleven right now.. I'd rather you be at about.. A four.

-[[ He smiles maniacally.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] HA HA HA.. FUCK NO, BITCH.. THIS IS HOW THE FRANCHISE.. FUCKIN' TALKS!!

-[[ She just stares at him and he continues.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] BUT.. LET'S GET DOWN TO BRASS FUCKING TACKS... THE WORLD WARRIOR TOURNAMENT THAT TAKES PLACE NEXT MONTH...... WHO'S IN IT!? WHO'S IN IT!? WHO.. THE FUCK.. IS IN IT!? HA HA HA...

-[[ She takes a deep breath and forces a smile.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] Well, Shane.. All sixteen competitors haven't been decided on just yet..

-[[ She shrugs.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] But.. There are a few that I can tell you that will be involved.. For instance, in order to give newcomers to Solid Gold Wrestling a fair shot, we'll be including up and coming superstars like... CM Punk, Samoa Joe, Jeff Hardy, and "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters, who I must say, made an impressive debut, wouldn't you say?

-[[ Douglas laughs.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] HE FUCKED.. THOSE GUYS UP!!

-[[ Jillian nods, wondering to herself why she even gave him an opportunity to speak.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] BUT THE OTHERS.. WHO ELSE.. WHO THE FUCK.. ELSSSSSSE!?

-[[ A pause.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] We'll also be including Chris Benoit and our hardcore champion, Cactus Jack.. Solid Gold Wrestling's only Olympic Gold medalist, Kurt Angle, as well as Lance Storm will be included... And.. After some careful discussion.. Despite his continuous disrespect toward Maria and her decisions... We have opted to include Muhammad Hassan in the tournament.. But that's not all... We have a special entrant in the tournament....

-[[ Douglas looks surprised, his eyes go wide. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] For the first time since Six-String Supremacy... Representing Mexico.. CHAVO GUERRERO will return to action to take part in the World Warrior tournament!!

-[[ The fans in the arena pop huge.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] And that, Shane... I'm afraid, is all I have to offer right now?

-[[ Shane nods, smiling.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] THANK YOU, JILLIAN.. HA HA HA... BACK TO THE FUCKIN' RING!!

-[[ Fade. ]]-
 

-[[ Cactus Jack wastes no time in going after John Bradshaw Layfield and Chris Benoit, throwing punches and kicks in every direction in order to gain an advantage for himself.. But the advantage doesn't last long as Chris Benoit sends an earthshattering chop to the chest of Cactus Jack and he's caught so off guard by it that JBL just casually boots him right in the face!! Cactus Jack goes down and Benoit turns and chops JBL across the chest.. He hits him with another and another and Cactus Jack rolls out of the ring.. Cactus begins fumbling with items underneath the ring and he produces a garbage can full of weapons which he tosses over the ropes and into the ring.. Chris Benoit kicks JBL in the gut.. Snap suplex!! JBL yells in pain.. Cactus Jack rolls back inside and grabs.. AN EASY-BAKE OVEN from the garbage can!! He runs up behind JBL and BUSTS IT over his head, sending plastic and glass all over the ring!! JBL goes down hard and as Cactus celebrates the damage done, Chris Benoit runs up behind him and hits him with a sickening release German suplex!! Cactus lands right on his head and Benoit scrambles over and covers JBL.. One.. Two.. Th-- JBL got a shoulder up and blood is DUMPING out of the back of his head!! Chris Benoit grabs the garbage can and dumps the weapons out of it.. He slams it into JBL's head and when Cactus Jack finally sits up, he blasts Cactus right in the face with it.. JBL crawls over to the pile of weapons and finds a CHEESE GRATER... He runs up behind Benoit and spins him around before raking it across his eyes!! Benoit clutches his face, blood seeping through his fingers, and JBL kicks him in the gut...... POWER BOMB ON THE TRASH CAN!! Benoit screams in pain, clutching his midsection.. And JBL is nailed with a tackle by Cactus Jack!! Cactus Jack lays into JBL with sickening lefts and rights and they brawl on the mat until Chris Benoit comes back to.. Benoit rolls out of the ring and finds a table underneath the ring.. Benoit slides it inside, follows it in, and sets it up in the middle of the ring.. Benoit stalks up behind the two that still brawl and he pulls Cactus Jack up by his hair.. He clubs Cactus in the back and JBL gets back to his feet.. Chris Benoit drags Cactus toward the table and throws him on top of it... JBL goes through the plunder that fell from the garbage can from earlier and he finds a SINGAPORE CANE!! He slams it into Benoit's back, making Benoit yell in pain.. Benoit turns, one hand on his back where the shot was made and he chops JBL across the chest.. JBL retaliates with another cane shot, this time to Benoit's arm!! Cactus rolls off of the table and nails Benoit from behind!! Benoit goes staggering forward into a cane shot to the head!! JBL throws the cane to the side, bounces off the ropes.. CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL on Chris Benoit!! Benoit goes down hard and Cactus Jack catches JBL in the midst of his momentum.. KICK WHAM DOUBLE ARM DDT!! Cactus Jack covers him.. One.. Two.. Thr-- JBL got a shoulder up!! Cactus pulls JBL back to his feet and whips him into ropes.. Knee lift!! Chris Benoit staggers back up and runs up behind Cactus....... GERMAN SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE!! Cactus Jack isn't moving!! JBL grabs the kendo stick and charges at Benoit but Benoit ducks it and hooks JBL..... CRIPPLER CROSSFACE!!! But wait.. No.. HE CAN'T!! HE POSITIONS THE SINGAPORE CANE ACROSS JBL'S FACE!! HE'S PULLING BACK ON THE STICK, SMEARING JBL'S FACE IN THE CROSS FACE!! HE HAS NO CHOICE..... JBL TAPS OUT!! WE HAVE A NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION IN CHRIS BENOIT!!! Benoit releases the hold and JBL rolls out of the ring, clutching his face..... Benoit is handed the championship belt.... Cactus Jack pulls himself out of the table wreckage and approaches Benoit...... And those two men SHAKE HANDS, even in defeat, Cactus Jack is giving Chris Benoit his props!! Benoit slaps his own chest, clutching the belt, and raises Cactus Jack's arm to a huge pop.. ]]-
 

-[[ Ken Kennedy and the Big Show are on their way to the ring for their big title defense.. The first tag team title defense on Solid Gold Wrestling pay-per-view since it made its glorious return.. Kennedy has his title around his waist while the Big Show's belt hangs over his shoulder carelessly... ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Hardy Boyz, Shmardy Boyz, Big Show.. What the hell have they done to deserve a shot at us?

-[[ The Big Show shakes his head.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] Nothin'.

[ Ken Kennedy ] That's right.. A big, old bowl of NOTHING with milk.. It's not right.

-[[ Kennedy shrugs.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] We challenged Mike Sanders and Mark Jindrak, because they seem to have some kind of.. HARD-ON.. For starting trouble with Mister Jarrett... We go down to the ring to rattle their cage... And maybe.. Maybe we rattled their cage just a little too hard...

-[[ Big Show looks at his hand and holds his index finger about an inch away from his thumb.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] Just a little bit.. Just a little bit...

[ Ken Kennedy ] And then... These two little gothy kids attack us out of nowhere... And suddenly they're the number one contenders..... I DON'T THINK SO!!

-[[ Big Show doesn't even look over at Kennedy. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] When we go out there tonight, Show.. Just think... They probably attacked us last week.. Even going so far.. SO FAR... As to cause me to be ELIMINATED in the Total Elimination match last week... And then they probably went home.. And wrote about it....... IN THEIR BLOG!!

-[[ The Big Show stops dead in his tracks and looks over at Kennedy. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] I hate bloggers.

[ Ken Kennedy ] Me, too. And I hate gothies... And their stupid poetry they write.

-[[ The Big Show shakes his head.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] Damn... Me, too!!

-[[ Big Show cracks his knuckles.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] I'm gonna KILL these guys tonight!!

[ Ken Kennedy ] We're gonna give these guys something to be all BROODY about in their dark bed rooms tonight.. When they sign online and get on... Myspace or whatever... That little smiley face thing that shows their mood.. Is going to be a SAAAAAAAAAAD SMILEY FACE!!

-[[ Big Show looks up and rubs his chin with one hand thoughtfully.. ]]-

[ The Big Show ] I wonder if there's a smiley face... For being DEAD?

-[[ Kennedy thinks.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] I'm sure there could be.. I mean, I wouldn't rule it out.. But.. How would you accurately switch to that mood.. Dead people don't use computers.. Hell.. They don't do anything... But I like the way you're thinking.. That was good.. Very good..

-[[ Just as they're about to exit through the curtain, Randy Orton stops them.. He shakes hands with each man.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] No mercy tonight, boys..... Tonight, we're sending a message to all of Solid Gold Wrestling..

-[[ He looks at each man, back and forth.. ]]-

[ Randy Orton ] For ourselves... And for Jeff Jarrett.. Let them NEVER forget who brought them to the dance.

-[[ Ken Kennedy gives Orton a military salute. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] We'll make Jeff DAMN proud... DAMN PROUD, INDEED!!

-[[ Orton nods and walks off.. And just as he does, Christian approaches the tag team champions with the world title slung over his shoulder.. He's smiling... Kennedy returns the smile, but Big Show doesn't look too pleased to see him.. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Hey, Big Show.... It's OOOOOOLD RECORD!!

-[[ Christian smiles a fake smile.. ]]-

[ Christian ] You got it, New Record... Yeah.. Whatever..

-[[ He continues without missing a beat.. ]]-

[ Christian ] I just wanted to wish you guys luck..

-[[ Kennedy waves him off. ]]-

[ Ken Kennedy ] Luck? With these guys? They weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet.. COMBINED!!

-[[ Christian shrugs. ]]-

[ Christian ] If you guys say so.. Just remember.. Every great team has their.. Demolition moment.. I just don't want you guys to get out there and take this match lightly and....... CHOKE.. I mean, after all.. You're SO CLOSE to breaking my tag team title record... I'd hate to see that achievement go down the drain..

-[[ Christian slaps Kennedy on the shoulder.. ]]-

[ Christian ] Knock'em dead, slugger.

-[[ Christian walks away.. Kennedy and Show just look at each other, shrug, and walk out for their match. ]]-
 

-[[ Ken Kennedy begins the match with Jeff Hardy.. Kennedy charges for Hardy as soon as the bell rings, still furious over being eliminated in the Total Elimination match because of him.. Kennedy knee lifts Hardy in the gut and begins beating down on him with vicious forearms to the back and head.. Kennedy whips Hardy into the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Hardy ducks it and Kennedy turns around.. Hardy goes for a drop kick but Kennedy sidesteps it and swats it away.. Hardy stands up quickly and Kennedy heel kicks him right in the throat!! Kennedy works over Hardy with a few punches to the head and drags him over into his corner.. Kennedy tags in the Big Show!! The Big Show steps over the top rope and Kennedy goes to the apron, no need for double teaming when Big Show's on your side.. The Big Show pulls Jeff Hardy up off of the mat and whips him into the turnbuckle so hard that the ring shifts and Hardy comes bounding out into the Big Show's hand.. Big Show grips his throat and goes for the CHOKE SLAM but Matt Hardy slides in and chop blocks the Big Show's knee!! Jeff begins throwing wild punches into Big Show's head, trying to stagger him and keep him on the mat but the Big Show isn't going with it.. The Big Show stands up, looming over Jeff again and whips him into the ropes.. Big Show goes for a standing side kick but Jeff baseball slides underneath him and clips his knee again!! And just as Show goes down to one knee, Matt Hardy springboards off of the ropes and nails Big Show with a dropkick to the face!! The Big Show goes down and Jeff begins climbing the ropes.. He's going for the SWANTON!! But Kennedy runs over and grabs Hardy's leg!! Hardy tries fighting him off but the Big Show is already up!! Big Show approaches Hardy while he's still on the top rope.. And gorilla press slams him from the top rope!! Jeff Hardy is hurting badly.. He begins crawling toward Matt's corner, but he's moving too slow.. The Big Show grabs Jeff by the ankle and drags him back to the center of the ring.. The Big Show drops an elbow across Jeff's back.. Big Show stands up and pulls Jeff to his feet.. He grips Jeff's throat and goes for it.... CHOKE SLAM!! The Big Show covers him.. One.. Two.. Thre-- Matt Hardy makes the save!! Ken Kennedy dives into the ring and tackles Matt Hardy down!! The two begin brawling like crazy and the Big Show pulls Jeff Hardy off of the mat.. Big Show whips Hardy into the ropes and kicks him in the gut... He pulls Hardy up for a POWER BOMB but Hardy punches away at the Big Show's head!! Show drops onto his back with Hardy on top of him and Jeff goes flying for the ropes.. He climbs quickly...... SWANTON BOMB ON THE BIG SHOW!! But as soon as he lands and stands up, Ken Kennedy small packages him!! ONE!! TWO!! HAND ON THE ROPES!! THREE!! Ken Kennedy and the Big Show just STOLE THIS ONE from the Hardy Boyz!! ]]-
 

-[[ We cut to the back where Maria is standing by a dressing room door with a microphone in her hand.. She's smiling really big and practically jumping up and down.. She begins yelling into the microphone.. ]]-

[ Maria ] OH, MAN.. Guess where I am right now!?

-[[ A pause. ]]-

[ Maria ] WRONG!! HA HA~! I'm standing right outside the dressing room... OF THE MUPPET BABIES!!

-[[ She DOES jump up and down now.. ]]-

[ Maria ] Inside of this room.. Is Kermit the Frog.. Miss Piggy.. And Animal!! I LOVE ANIMAL!!! YAY!!

-[[ She puts her hand on the door knob.. ]]-

[ Maria ] I'm about to go inside and see what they're doing!! Here we go!!

-[[ She turns the knob and begins singing the Muppet Babies theme song.. ]]-

[ Maria ] Muuuuuppet baaaaaaabies!

-[[ She opens the door up and there's smoke everywhere inside the room.. Maria's eyes go wide.. The body of Kermit the Frog is laid on the couch with his oversized mascot head thrown to the side and on fire.. The young man inside the costume's face is covered in blood.. She quickly looks over and the man, yes, the man, playing Miss Piggy is slumped against the wall with piano wire pulled tight across his neck, he isn't moving and likewise, the Piggy head is on fire.. Maria begins screaming loudly.. Animal is in the corner, facing the wall on his knees with a black hood pulled over his head.. There's a blood splatter on the wall where his face rests.. Maria puts her hands on the sides of her head and screams even louder and as she looks around, she sees Arabic writing all over the walls.. And in English, just above Animal's head... Scrawled in blood... ]]-

PuNiSHMeNt

-[[ She backs out of the room in tears. ]]-