STROKE:
The Hard Sell |
June 17th, 2006 | Live From:
Salt Lake City, Utah
| Commentators: Joey
Styles & Don Callis
Dark Match
Joey Ryan def.
Kenny via
Pin Fall
Matt Morgan def.
Nicky via
Pin Fall
Mitch def.
New Jack via
Pin Fall
[ Jeff Jarrett ] "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.. I called your ass out here for a reason.. -[[ Jillian nods, applauding Jarrett.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] And that reason.. Is simple! -[[ The fans are booing loudly as Jarrett continues.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] This ain't no celebration.. And it sure as hell ain't no Austin Appreciation Night! -[[ Boos.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] This is me givin' you.. A formal goodbye! -[[ Austin just stands there, glaring at Jarrett from the ring.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] I'm givin' ya' the chance to end your career.. With streamers and balloons.. -[[ A pause.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] Instead o' blood and broken bones! -[[ Jarrett points at the ring. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] Which is exactly what you'll get.. If ya' carry that title to Total Destruction! -[[ Austin hoists the title up onto his shoulder, still staring down at Jarrett.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] I take it that ya' ain't gonna forfeit your title.. -[[ Austin doesn't even move.. Not worth acknowledging Jarrett's comments.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] I know what you're thinkin', Austin.. Ya' got a partner ya' think ya' can trust.. So you're gonna try to make a go of it at Total Destruction.. Well.. Let me let ya' in on a little somethin'.. -[[ Jarrett smiles.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] At Total Destruction.. If Storm, Masters or myself pin ya'.. We get your world title.. But I'm addin' a stipulation.... And that stipulation is.. -[[ Wait for it. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] If one of us pins Kennedy.. We get his Television title, too! -[[ That's it? ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] How ya' like that, Austin!? -[[ Jillian takes the microphone from Jarrett, looking concerned. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] You're forgetting something, Jeff.. -[[ Jeff fakes being genuinely concerned about what he forgot.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] You forgot to mention that... If Hell freezes over.. And Ken Kennedy pins one of you three.. -[[ She shrieks. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] HE WINS AUSTIN'S TITLE! -[[ Boos.. Austin shakes his head. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] You can't even trust your own partner now! -[[ She laughs. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] You're so screwed, Steve! -[[ Jarrett and Jillian both laugh loudly. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] You wife beating bitch! -[[ Jarrett takes the microphone back.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] Also.. I've made the decision that the world title match.. Ain't gonna be the main event.. -[[ A pause as the fans boo.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] Because for one thing, Steve Austin.. Ya' don't deserve to main event!! -[[ He laughs. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] And besides.. After I beat your ass for that belt.. I'm turnin' the rest o' the pay-per-view into Jeff Jarrett Appreciation Night! And there ain't nobody that can do anything about it! HA HA! -[[ He turns to Jillian.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] So, Jillian.. What do you think should be the pay-per-view main event now? -[[ She appears to think really hard.. ]]- [ Jillian Hall ] The Raven and Matt Hardy title unification? -[[ Jarrett shrugs. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] Works for me.. Just don't tell Russo.. He HATES Matt Hardy.
-[[
Cut. ]]- -[[ We immediately cut to a bathroom stall door.. You can't see what's going on inside.. But you can hear it.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Oh, fuck yeah, Lita.. Yeah, get on that dick, you fuckin' whore.. -[[ There's a sound of desperate panting and breathing.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Oh, fuck yes.. Ditchin' Matt Hardy is the best decision you eva' made.. -[[ A pause as he groans. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Yeah, baby.. Do it like that.. Let me feel ya' ass.. Yes.. Fuck yes! -[[ The breathing becomes more frantic.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] GOD, FUCK YEAH.. FUCK MATT HARDY!! FUCK MATT HARDY!! -[[ A scrambling sound.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Get on ya' knees, Lita.. You whore.. I'm gonna cum on ya' fuckin' face.. You slut! -[[ A few seconds later, you hear a zip and the stall door opens... And Vince Russo walks out of the stall alone with a magazine in his hand.. He places it on the counter and washes his hands.. He looks at himself in the mirror. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Fuck Matt Hardy.
-[[
Cut.
]]- -[[ We're back on the stage with Jarrett and Jillian.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] But now, Austin.. I've got a surprise for ya'.. -[[ Boos. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] Somethin' to let ya' know that I ain't all that bad.. -[[ Jarrett takes a few steps down the ramp and stops.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] A little goin' away present.. From me to you! -[[ He turns back to the stage.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] Ladies and gentlemen.. Here to perform for us tonight........ -[[ A pause.. ]]- [ Jeff Jarrett ] .......KENNY ROGERS! -[[ Mixed reaction as Kenny Rogers walks out onto the ramp with his surgically enhanced, sickening face that's pulled so tight that his asshole is underneath his chin.. Kenny Rogers makes his way down to the ring with a microphone in his hand.. He's got a big smile on his face.. Even Austin can't help but smile just a little bit.. Kenny gets in the ring and shakes Austin's hand... Austin just stares at him, not really believing this.. Before the fans even begin to die down, some music begins playing and Kenny Rogers begins to sing.. ]]-
[
Kenny Rogers
]
On a warm summer evenin'.. On a train
bound for nowhere... -[[ Austin just stares at him, a half-smile on his face.. ]]- [ Kenny Rogers ] 'Til the boredom overtooook us.. And he began to speak.. -[[ Rogers is really getting into it.. Staring into Austin's eyes as he sings.. ]]-
[
Kenny Rogers
]
He said, son I've made a livin'... Out
o' readin' people's faces.. -[[ Austin stomps over to the edge of the ring and calls for a microphone and some beer.. He receives the microphone and two cans of beer... He tosses one to Rogers, who snaps it open but doesn't drink it.. Austin raises his own microphone.. ]]-
[
Steve Austin
]
SO, I HANDED HIM MY BOTTLE.... AND HE
DRANK DOWN MY LAAAAAST SWALLOW! [ Kenny Rogers ] And the night got deathly quiet.. And his face lost alllllll expression! [ Steve Austin ] Said if ya' gonna play the game, boy... Ya' gotta learn to play it right! [ Kenny Rogers ] Ya got to know when to hold'em... [ Steve Austin ] When to hold'em! [ Kenny Rogers ] Know when to fold'em! [ Steve Austin ] Hell yeah!! [ Kenny Rogers ] Know when to waaaaaaaalk away... -[[ Austin nods.. ]]- [ Kenny Rogers ] Know when to run! -[[ He points at the belt on Austin's shoulder and winks.. ]]- [ Kenny Rogers ] You never count your money.. When you're sittin' at the table... [ Steve Austin ] There'll be time enough for countin'.. When the dealin's done.. -[[ Rogers smiles even bigger and shakes Austin's hand one more time.. ]]- [ Kenny Rogers ] You're a hell of a talent, Steve.. -[[ Austin nods, it seems as though he's almost forgotten Jeff Jarrett and Jillian Hall were watching him from the ramp.. He turns his head and stares down at them.. And the next thing he hears almost puts him right on his ass.. ]]- [ Kenny Rogers ] You know, Steve.. You really DO need to know.. When to fold'em.. -[[ Austin turns his head toward Rogers, staring at him cold. ]]- [ Kenny Rogers ] Know when to walk away... And.. Know when to run.
-[[
Austin then cracks a
smile, nods.. And offers his hand one more time.. Rogers accepts it.. They
shake... KICK WHAM STUNNER ON KENNY ROGERS!! Jarrett paid Rogers to send a
message.. And Austin got it LOUD AND CLEAR!! Austin begins dumping beer
all over Kenny Rogers and jawing away right in his face.. The fans are
going nuts as Jarrett and Jillian look pissed on the ramp... Austin
springs back up, holding the title belt in the air.. He leans over the top
rope and flips off Jarrett as the scene fades.
]]- |
Raven &
Chris Benoit
versus
The Sandman & Balls Mahoney
Title on the Line:
None
Stipulation:
None
Referee:
Charles Robinson
|
Winners: Raven & Chris Benoit via Pin Fall
[ Ken Kennedy ] Steve.. What Jarrett said.. That doesn't change anything, bro. -[[ Austin doesn't say a word. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] You know I'm just in this to take Jarrett.. OUT! -[[ Austin looks down at the belt on his shoulder and then back at Kennedy.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] What.. May I ask.. Is your problem, Steve? -[[ Austin stares a hole right through him.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] I've got your back.. I have to make those guys pay for what they've done. -[[ Austin nods, closing his eyes for a second.. He looks back at Kennedy.. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] So.. You're tellin' me.. If the opportunity arises.. You ain't gonna.. -[[ Austin hesitates.. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] Slip in like a damn, dirty thief.. And take this from me? -[[ Kennedy, at first, appears offended.. And this his eyes settle on the belt.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] Steve.. Brother.. Dude.. Man.. -[[ Austin just stands there.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] You know.. No matter what I say.. I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't want that championship belt.. I had it in my grasp at World Warrior, man.. I coulda' taken Orton and got it.. But I gave in to Jarrett.. And his money.. And I put that world title in Orton's hands... But you have to believe me.. I'm in this for Jarrett.. He MUST pay.. -[[ Austin stares Kennedy right in the face, still not moving. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] If the opportunity arises for me to win that championship... -[[ Kennedy pauses now.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] ...I'll take it.. -[[ Austin nods.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] But you have my word, Steve... MY WORD.. -[[ Another pause. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] I won't screw you over to get it. -[[ Austin looks down.. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] ..Fair enough. -[[ Kennedy offers his hand.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] ..Team? -[[ Austin looks at his hand and then back up at him.. ]]- [ Steve Austin ] ..I'll shake your grubby hand after Total Destruction. -[[ Kennedy retracts his hand, putting it on his hip. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] I understand. -[[ Austin pushes past him and walks toward his dressing room.. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] Really, I do! -[[ Austin ignores him. ]]- [ Ken Kennedy ] See you at Total Destruction, Steve! -[[ Kennedy and Show watch him as he disappears into his dressing room.. We follow Austin inside where he doesn't bother to turn on the light.. He slings his world title onto a chair and sits down in another folding chair before he begins to get his wrestling gear together..... From the darkness, he hears a guitar strum... And then a voice.. ]]-
[
Mark Collie
]
I can hear what you're thinkin'.... -[[ Austin switches on a lamp.. Mark Collie, country music singer, is sitting in another chair with a guitar on his lap and a cigarette clutched between two of his fingers... He stares a hole through Austin.. Another message from Jarrett he appears to be.. Austin just looks at him as he continues.. ]]-
[
Mark Collie
]
And in time all things shall.. Pass
away.. -[[ A pause. ]]- [ Mark Collie ] ....Or die once more.. -[[ He strums the guitar again.. ]]- [ Mark Collie ] But in time your time will... Be no more.. -[[ He pats the guitar, making a dull thump echo in the room.. ]]-
[
Mark Collie
]
You know your days are numbered...
-[[
We immediately cut to
the outside of Austin's dressing room where we see his dressing room door
explode outward as the body of Mark Collie goes crashing through it! He
slams hard into the wall, blood pouring out of his nose.. And even though
we don't see Austin, we see a hand slinging beer all over Collie from
inside.. Steve Austin has had enough of the messages from Jeff Jarrett!
]]- |
The
Undertaker
versus
Kevin Nash
Title on the Line:
None
Stipulation:
None
Referee:
Scott James
|
Winner: The Undertaker via Pin Fall
|
Rob Conway
versus
The Rock
Title on the Line:
None
Stipulation:
None
Referee:
Jimmy Cordaris
|
Winner: Rob Conway via Pin Fall
[ Vince Russo ] I just.. Man, fuck.. I just don't get how that big, red bastard is yours.. -[[ Paul Bearer shrugs. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] Ohhh yesss.. I understand the concern, Mister Russo.. But Kane IS my son.. Yessss.. -[[ Russo laughs, shrugging. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] I just don't see it.. I mean.. Shit.. -[[ And then Russo spits it out. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] So ya' just walked into the funeral parla'.. And there was Kane's mama.. -[[ Russo spreads his hands apart.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Spread ass eagle, waitin' on ya'? -[[ Bearer chuckles, his cheeks turning red. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] Ohhhh yessss! She was! I sure did.. Do it to her! -[[ Russo looks at Shelley, wide eyed. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] I'm not touching that one. -[[ Bearer nudges Russo with his elbow. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] You might even say... I almost split her in two! YESSSSS! -[[ Russo's mouth hangs open as Bearer begins doing pelvic thrusts. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] ..You fat fuck! -[[ Russo rubs his temples like he's trying to will away a headache.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] So.. You into tits? -[[ Bearer shrugs. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] I've always been more into.. A little ass play, myself! -[[ Russo stares at him deadpan... Shelley elbows Russo.. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] Ass play, Ru? -[[ Shelley seems concerned. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] We're trying to make an alliance with a guy who SAYS ass play? -[[ Russo doesn't even acknowledge that Shelley just spoke.. He just stares at Bearer intently like this has become some sort of competition.. Bearer rubs his hands together, still smiling.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] I like to tit-fuck. -[[ Bearer shakes his head. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] Breasts are only sacks of meat, yesss.. They do nothing for me. [ Vince Russo ] I'd like to tit-fuck Christy Hemme. [ Paul Bearer ] To each his own, I suppose... -[[ A pause.. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] I'm more a fan of.. Miss Elizabeth's assets... Oh YES! -[[ He giggles as Russo just stands there.. Shelley shakes his head.. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] She's dead, dude.. Stone cold dead! -[[ Bearer smiles knowingly and turns to walk away.. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] Oh, I know... -[[ He chuckles and begins to walk away.. Before he disappears around the corner, Russo calls out.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Just make sure Kane knows his shit, Beara'! -[[ A pause.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] This all has to go accordin' to plan! -[[ Bearer's voice echoes. ]]- [ Paul Bearer ] Worry not, Mister Russo... Kane knows his role.. OH YES! -[[ Russo and Shelley look at each other.. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] Dude.. That is NOT cool. -[[ Russo scratches his chin.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] He woulda' been right at home in APDubya'.. Dead people 'n shit. -[[ Shelley puts his hands on his hips.. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] Why do you keep bringing that place up? You just keep beating it into the ground. -[[ Russo stares at him blankly. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] This is wrestlin', bay-bee.. Ya' expect kindness and consideration or some shit? -[[ A pause.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] SGDubya's the god damn monopoly, ya' heard? -[[ Shelley nods. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] I guess.. You think we can really trust Kane? [ Vince Russo ] We can trust Kane to be Kane.. So stay out o'his way.. Let him do in the King o' Kings.. Steal a pin and I'll point ya' to the right box.. Grab the belt and fuck'em both.. They ain't shit... Kane's a monsta', but he's plenty stupid.. So just stick and move, Shelley and ya' gonna get that belt, no problem.. -[[ Shelley nods.. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] Right. You're a wrestling genius, after all. [ Vince Russo ] Sports enta'tainment genius, Shelley.. Fuck wrestlin'! -[[ Thumbs up from Shelley. ]]- [ Alex Shelley ] Right! Wrestling sucks! -[[ Russo and Shelley begin to walk away.. You hear Russo speaking as they do. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Kane's a god damn moron.. Who knew usin' that asshole would be so easy?
-[[
As they disappear from
the camera, we pan back and reveal someone has been listening to them all
along... The Undertaker stands quietly in the spot where he's been the
entire time... He stares straight ahead, furious, tightening his gloves
and shaking his head in disgust... Holy shit.. The secret is out!
]]- |
Rob Van
Dam
versus
Lance Storm
Title on the Line:
None
Stipulation:
None
Referee:
Charles Robinson
|
Winner: Lance Storm via Pin Fall
[ Rob Conway ] I knew the Rock didn't have what it takes to go one on one.. With the Con Man! -[[ He laughs.. Michelle rolls her eyes.. ]]- [ Michelle McCool ] ..You cheated. -[[ Conway smirks. ]]- [ Rob Conway ] I know! -[[ He's so full of himself.. But he's suddenly stopped in his tracks by.. BOOKER T.! Booker T. stands there, staring Conway down.. It looks like a fight might break out at any second.. Booker T. then begins to speak.. ]]- [ Booker T. ] Yaw, man.. I juss' wanted to let'cha know.. -[[ Conway looks at Michelle and back at Booker T. ]]- [ Booker T. ] Afta' last week, man.. I'm coo'.. I ain't got no beef wit' chu.. -[[ Conway lowers his sun glasses, looking confused. ]]- [ Rob Conway ] ..Say what? [ Booker T. ] Wata' unda' the bridge.. I juss' wanna move on. -[[ Conway smiles. ]]- [ Rob Conway ] ..Yeah, okay.. Sounds good. -[[ And then Booker T. punches Conway right in the face! Conway staggers backward into the wall and tries to come back fighting but Booker T. jumps.. And SIDE KICKS Conway right in the throat! The Conman goes down onto his ass and doesn't move again.. Booker T. stands there, staring at his hand and throwing his hair all over the place! Michelle McCool just stands there in shock..... Booker T. then yells.. ]]- [ Booker T. ] YEAH!! CHYEAH!! CONNED..... SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! -[[ He hops around on one foot.. ]]- [ Booker T. ] SEE CHU AT TOTAL DESTRUCTION.. BOO YAH!! GONNA GET WIT'CHA!!
-[[
Booker T. runs away
from the scene, leaving Michelle to check on the Conman..
]]- -[[ Vince Russo is standing in the interview area with a smug look on his face.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] I've been told to announce that anotha' big ass match has been signed fa' Total Destruction.. -[[ A pause. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] For those o' you wonderin'.. The Hardcore championship WILL be defended.. -[[ Russo rolls his eyes, knowing no one really cares.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] The tough mutha' fucka'.. The Sandman.. is gonna defend his championship against the man who has.. Pretty-well defined the fuckin' division since it got reinstated by that retard bitch with the good tits and good..er.. Ass.. Maria.. "The Canadian Crippla" Chris Benoit.. And just because I like ta' stir shit and stack the deck against that toothless bastard.. I'm also insertin'.. JOHNNY NITRO! -[[ Russo chuckles.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Triple threat elimination style, bitch! -[[ Russo rubs his chin.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Fuck you, Benoit.
-[[
Fade.
]]- |
Ken
Kennedy & Alex Shelley
versus
Triple H & John Cena
Title on the Line:
None
Stipulation:
Wild Card Tag Match
Referee:
Scott James
|
Winners: Ken Kennedy & Alex Shelley via Count Out
|