Date: Sunday, July 30th, 2006 | Live From: Boston, Massachusetts | Commentators: Joey Styles & Don Callis


-[[ When we cut back to the arena, you see a large stage set off to the side of the entrance ramp.. There's microphones set up and a band is preparing their instruments.. Jillian Hall walks out onto the stage with a big smile on her face.. She walks up to one of the microphones and begins speaking. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] It's that time, everybody!

-[[
The fans boo loudly and chant "SLUT! SLUT!" at her.. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] Performing my own, personal reimagining of their hit song.. "Leave the Pieces," now titled, in honor of Ric Flair's cowardly way of leaving the League of Champions when Jeff Jarrett completely wrecked his world, "Leave the Title," give a hand everyone.. To Michelle Branch and Jessica Harp.. THE WRECKERS!!

-[[
The fans boo even louder. ]]-

[ Jillian Hall ] Let the humiliation of Ric Flair commence!

-[[
Jillian Hall leaves the stage and heads to the back as Michelle Branch and Jessica Harp take the stage.. They each take their place in front of their microphones.. The fans are booing loudly and a few of them have thrown garbage onto the stage.. ]]-

[ Michelle Branch ] Um.. Hello, Boston!

-[[
Louder boos and more garbage... They look nervous. ]]-

[ Michelle Branch ] Okay.. Let's just get this over with.

-[[
The music kicks up as the fans begin booing even louder, trying desperately to drown it out.. They begin to sing.. ]]-

[ Jessica Harp ]
You're not suuuure that ya' trust me
but you're not sure enough to let me go...
Ricky, it ain't smart ya' know
to just keep me hangin' 'round..

You say you doooon't want to face me,
you don't want to hurt the team..
So why are you still standin' here,
just'a watchin' me frown?


-[[
They both begin singing as the fans litter the stage with more garbage.. ]]-

[ The Wreckers ]
And it's all right, yeah I'll be fine, don't worry 'bout this swerve o' mine.. Just.. Lose your smiiiiiile and hit the roooad.. There's nothin' you could do or say, I woulda' kicked your ass anyway- So, just.. Leave the title when ya' gooo!

-[[
They continue as the fans ream them verbally. ]]-

[ Michelle Branch ]
Now, you can draaag out the beat down,
Or maybe I could make it quick..
Really get it over with
And just let me move on..

Don't concern ya'self..
With this belt you left me,
I can clean it up, you see,
Just as long as you're gone..


-[[
And the chorus is greeted with even louder boos.. ]]-

[ The Wreckers ]
And it's all right, yeah I'll be fine, don't worry 'bout this swerve o' mine.. Just.. Lose your smiiiiiile and hit the roooad.. There's nothin' you could do or say, I woulda' kicked your ass anyway- So, just.. Leave the title--

-[[
And Matt Hardy comes blasting out from behind the curtain and kicks over the drum set!! Matt Hardy runs up behind Michelle Branch and flings her off of the stage!! She makes a sound like wet meat hitting the concrete and doesn't move!! Matt Hardy stares down at her broken form with a big smile on his face.. He rips at his hair, breathing heavily.. He turns around and sees Jessica Harp staring at him in horror... And he grabs her by the hair!! Hardy begins screaming in her face and then kicks her in the gut..... ]]-

[ Matt Hardy ] V-OOOONE-AHHHHH!!

-[[
TWIST OF FATE ON JESSICA HARP!! MATT HARDY HAS DESTROYED THE WRECKERS!! Matt Hardy yanks the microphone off of the stand and brings it to his mouth, getting a face pop for the first time in a long time.. ]]-

[ Matt Hardy ] I've had enough of this shit!!

-[[
Hardy kicks the other microphone off of the stage.. ]]-

[ Matt Hardy ] Tonight... I was screwed over.. AGAIN!!

-[[
Hardy closes his eyes like it's hurting him to think about it. ]]-

[ Matt Hardy ] No.. More..

-[[
Hardy stares into the camera.. ]]-

[ Matt Hardy ] RAVEN!! YOU ESCAPED ME EARLIER TONIGHT!!

-[[
He gets a sadistic look on his face.. ]]-

[ Matt Hardy ] You better pray to GOD HIMSELF.. And I don't mean Jeff Jarrett.. That your ass... IS GONE WHEN I GET TO THE RING IN THE BATTLE ROYAL TONIGHT!! BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS SO DAMN BAD.... That you'll wish you died in a car accident before you even GOT HERE tonight!!

-[[
Hardy throws the microphone down and raises the V-One hand sign as the fans begin to boo him again.. Hardy leaves the stage as EMTs flood the area to check on the Wreckers.. ]]-

-[[
Fade. ]]-
 


Referee: Scott James


-[[
Randy Orton and Sting stand across the ring from "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and Taz.. The fans are roaring loudly, chanting "SG-DUB! SG-DUB!" as Orton looks around with disgust on his face.. Randy Orton, the man who earlier tonight proclaimed that he was going to kill the legend of Solid Gold Wrestling tells Sting to back off because he's going to start the match.. Taz and Austin stand their ground.. Sting turns to step through the ropes and get on the apron.. Loud "Orton Sucks" chant as Orton spits in the general direction of the crowd.. Sting looks out at the fans and then shakes his head, climbing back into the ring.. What's going on? He walks up behind Orton, grabs him by the hair.. Scorpion Death Drop on Randy Orton! The fans go absolutely ballistic! Sting stands up, looks at Austin and Taz, shrugs his shoulders and drops flat on his back before rolling out of the ring! The fans are going nuts! Sting walks up the ramp, shaking his head.. Austin and Taz look at each other and then begin circling Orton.. Orton slowly stands, looking confused.. He clutches the back of his head and gets to his feet... His eyes go wide.. Middle fingers! Kick wham STUNNER! Randy Orton springs back to his feet, flailing backwards into the.. Tazmission! Taz whips Orton around in the hold and then Taz jumps onto Orton's back, dragging him straight down onto the mat! Randy Orton begins tapping franticly! The referee is calling for the bell! Randy Orton has submitted to the Tazmission, but Taz keeps the hold on, forcing Orton to black out! Taz flings Orton's lifeless body to the side and stands up, staring down at the man who tried to kill him earlier this year with nothing but contempt in his eyes.. Austin and Taz shake hands and Austin begins calling for beers to be thrown in the ring.. He catches one, two.. He throws one to Taz and they clash beers together and drink in celebration! S-G-Fucking-W! ]]-
 

Winners: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin & Taz via Submission


-[[ The interview area. ]]-

-[[ "The Franchise" Shane Douglas is standing there in his yellow shirt and wrestling tights.. He's got his microphone in his hand, rubbing his goatee and laughing like a maniac.. When the camera pans over, you see Lance Storm and Mike Awesome standing there.. Lance Storm has the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder.. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] HERE I AM, SGW!! THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE, SHANE DOUGLAS, EARNIN' HIS PAYCHECK THE WAY HE GOD DAMN WELL SHOULD BE.. WITH A GOD DAMN MICROPHONE IN HIS HAND, UNLIKE THAT CUNT RAG MARIA.. THAT UNDESERVING BITCH THAT'S TRYING TO MOVE IN ON MY GOD DAMN FUCKING JOB!!

-[[ He laughs. ]]-

[ Shane Douglas ] BUT THAT WON'T BE A FUCKIN' ISSUE AFTER TONIGHT.. BECAUSE I'M GONNA END HER FUCKIN' CAREER!! HA HA HA!! BUT FOR NOW.. I HAVE TO SETTLE FOR INTERVIEWING THE SGW WORLD.. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.. LANCE FUCKIN' STORM!!

-[[ Douglas puts the microphone in Storm's face. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Greetings, Shane.

[ Shane Douglas ] LANCE STORM.. YOU'RE FACING EDGE TONIGHT.. AND QUITE FRANKLY.. THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST YOU!! THE FANS.. THEY DON'T THINK YOU CAN FUCKIN' DO IT!! WHATCHAGOTTASAYBOUTHAT!?

-[[ Storm hesitates and then speaks. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] Shane.. Edge has a long storied career with Solid Gold Wrestling.. But in this company, he has seen just as many lows.. As he has seen highs.. Unlike Edge, I have never suffered defeat in this company.. And while he may be undefeated thus far in this incarnation of Solid Gold Wrestling.. That will have no bearing on what I shall do to him in the ring tonight..

-[[ Lance Storm stares into the camera.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] I promise.. To you, Edge.. And to the fans.. Nothing less than a victory tonight.. I will not lose my championship belt to you.. I can't lose my championship belt to you.. Because not only am I defending the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship.. I'm defending the honor and the morals of this entire company..

-[[ Storm hikes the belt up higher on his shoulder.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] I just hope.. That after I am victorious tonight.. That Edge can deal with it.

-[[ He looks down at his title. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] But regardless if he can or not.. He will have no one to blame.. But himself.

-[[ Storm walks off camera, leaving Awesome and Douglas.. They look at each other. ]]-

[ Mike Awesome ] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT, FRANCHISE!? RIGHT HERE!! YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE, LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE OR I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!! YEAH!!

[ Shane Douglas ] FUCK YOU, MIKE AWESOME!! LOOK WHO YOU'RE FUCKIN' TALKING TO!! I'M THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE!! THE LIFETIME SOLID GOLD WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION!! A TITLE NO ONE HAD BEFORE ME.. AND NO ONE HAS HAD SINCE!! SO FUCK YOU, YOU LOUD MOUTHED PRICK!!

[ Mike Awesome ] I AIN'T NO LOUD MOUTHED PRICK, YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!! THAT'S IT!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THE LIFETIME CHAMPION OR NOT!! YOU'RE GONNA BE THE DEADTIME CHAMPION, BECAUSE I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!! RIGHT HERE!! YEAH!! HERE IT COMES!! AWESOME BOMB, MOTHER FUCKER!!

[ Shane Douglas ] I DARE YOU TO AWESOME BOMB ME, YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!! I'LL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL, YOU BASTARD!! I'LL SEND YOUR ASS INTO OBLITACREE!!

-[[ Awesome and Douglas get right up in each other's faces and Lance Storm walks up casually and grabs Awesome by the arm.. Douglas and Awesome's eyes never leave other.. ]]-

[ Lance Storm ] This way, Mike.. Now.

-[[ Awesome walks with Storm, yelling at Douglas. ]]-

[ Mike Awesome ] FUCK YOU, DOUGLAS!!

[ Shane Douglas ] KISS MY ASS, SHIT EATER!! HA HA HA!!

-[[ Awesome and Storm walk away and as they do, they come face to face with Petey Williams, Bobby Roode and Scott D'Amore.. Petey walks up to Storm and points at the belt on Storm's shoulder. ]]-

[ Petey Williams ] Make Canada proud, Lance.

[ Lance Storm ] I intend to.

-[[ Storm and Awesome walk away as Petey and the others watch them go. ]]-

-[[ Fade. ]]-
 


Referee: Jimmy Cordaris


-[[
We cut to the ring where Gary Michael Cappetta is standing.. He holds an index card in his hand.. He begins to speak into his microphone. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] Ladies and gentlemen.. It is now time for the Solid Gold Wrestling.. Pure Championship Match!

-[[
The fans pop. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] The rules, as submitted by "The Canadian Crippler" Chris Benoit earlier this evening.. Are as follows..

-[[
He clears his throat and looks down at the index card.. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] Rule number one.. Opponents must shake hands before.. As well as after the match!

-[[
He continues. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] Rule number two.. Victory can be achieved only through pin fall and submission! Rule number three.. No five count will be administered.. Illegal chokes and excessive use of force will results in an immediate disqualification!

-[[
A pause. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] Rule number four.. Championship bouts can only be contested in one-on-one matches! Rule number five.. No championship bouts are to have a special guest referee for any reason and the only stipulations allowed are as follows... The Iron Man match! The submission match! And the Ultimate Submission match! Rule number six! Throwing your opponent over the top rope will result in an immediate disqualification!

-[[
These rules are seriously sticking it to Sports Entertainment. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] Rule number seven! Attacking your opponent outside of the ring results in an immediate disqualification! Rule number eight.. Managers, valets and tag team partners.. Are BARRED from ringside! Rule number nine.. All championship matches are given a maximum of a sixty-minute time limit! If there is no victor after the time has expired, the champion WILL retain!

-[[
A pause.. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] And finally.. Rule number ten.. If the champion loses by count out or disqualification.. The championship will be AWARDED to his opponent for the evening!

-[[
The fans pop for that and Gary Michael Cappetta begins the ring announcing as Chris Benoit and Alex Shelley make their entrances, each one with their respective championship belt.. Alex Shelley looks nervous as he's forced to do battle alone for the first time since he entered Solid Gold Wrestling.. Chris Benoit stares across the ring hungrily at him.. Jimmy Cordaris takes the Hardcore and Gimmick championship belts away from them and hands them off to the time keeper, who in turn hands Cordaris the new SGW Pure Championship... Cordaris shows the belt to Benoit and then to Shelley.. Cordaris hands it back to the time keeper and then signals for both men to meet in the center of the ring.. Benoit and Shelley are face to face, Shelley is shaking like a leaf.. Benoit adheres to his own rules and offers his hand.. Shelley looks down at it nervously and then extends his own, accepting the gesture.. They break and each man takes a step back as Jimmy Cordaris calls for the bell.. They circle each other briefly and then Benoit makes a dive for Shelley's legs, but Shelley hops out of the way and makes a break for the ropes, grabbing the top rope and raising his leg in defense.. Cordaris warns Benoit not to touch him.. Alex Shelley slowly comes off of the ropes and they begin circling each other again.. Benoit goes after his legs again but Shelley anticipates it and moves again and then pounces on Benoit, grabbing him in a front facelock.. Shelley holds him there and Benoit backs him into the ropes, forcing an immediate break.. Shelley lets go and Benoit takes a step back.. As soon as Shelley leaves the ropes, Benoit nails him with a sickening chop to the chest! Shelley bends over, holding his chest in pain and Benoit chops him across the bridge of the nose! Shelley grabs his face and as soon as his chest is clear, Benoit nails him with another one! Shelley yells in pain and then throws a punch at Benoit but Benoit ducks it and catches him around the waist.. German suplex! Another! And another! ..Another! And another! Another! And another! ......And another! Another... AND ANOTHER!! Chris Benoit gives Alex Shelley TEN German Suplexes! Chris Benoit stands up, intensity pouring off of him and he drags his thumb hard across his throat! And then.. "Goodbye, Horses" by Q Lazzarus hits.. The arena goes silent in confusion.. Benoit stops dead in his tracks as the song continues playing and Shelley begins to stir.. And then the Golden-Tron flashes to life and you see, on the big screen.. KELLY KELLY!? She stands there, smiling her vacant, forced smile.. ]]-

[ Kelly Kelly ] Would you do me?

-[[
The fans can't help but pop. ]]-

[ Kelly Kelly ] I'd do me...

-[[
She covers her mouth and laughs. ]]-

[ Kelly Kelly ] I'd do me..... Hard!

-[[
A pause as she reaches down and pulls her top down slightly, revealing some cleavage.. She continues smiling at the camera as Chris Benoit stands there, disgusted that the match is being tainted by this. ]]-

[ Kelly Kelly ] Hi, I'm Kelly!

-[[
She begins swaying her hips around and raises her skirt up, revealing her panties as the fans begin getting more into her act than the match at hand. ]]-

[ Kelly Kelly ] And I'm going to take my clothes off.. For you!

-[[
She continues dancing and Chris Benoit notices the ring shaking behind him and he spins around just in time to execute a double leg take down on Alex Shelley.. Sharpshooter! He flips him over and hooks it in! Alex Shelly immediately begins tapping out! Kelly Kelly's distraction didn't work!! ]]-

Winner & New SGW Pure Champion:
Chris Benoit via Submission

-[[
But Chris Benoit isn't letting go! He keeps ripping back on the hold, yelling in anger, "TAP! TAP! TAP!" Chris Benoit is furious that the first ever Pure title match has been turned into a sports entertainment disgrace! He's refusing to release the hold, "Goodbye, Horses" is STILL playing and Kelly is still dancing, taking off her clothes, oblivious that the match is already over, but Jimmy Cordaris tells Benoit to release the hold and Benoit won't stop, he wants to punish Alex Shelley, not only for this.. But for what he's done to his wife and children with his damned camera.. And Jimmy Cordaris calls for the bell once again! He's reversing the decision and giving the championship to Alex Shelley! When Chris Benoit realizes what's happened, he releases the hold and gets in Cordaris' face.. Cordaris begs Benoit off and Benoit turns and looks down at Shelley who is on the mat, grabbing at his back in pain.. Benoit yanks him up off of the mat, whips him around.. And gives him a release German suplex! Benoit stands over him.. And blows SNOT all over Shelley's back! Chris Benoit leaves, furious to a standing ovation as Shelley lays in the ring, groaning in pain to the tune of "Goodbye, Horses." ]]-
 

Winner & New Pure Champion: Alex Shelley via Disqualification


-[[ The interview area. ]]-

-[[ Maria stands there with a microphone in her hand, she appears to be really excited.. The camera pans over next to her and you see that her interview subject is the former representative of All-Pro Wrestling, Sting.. Sting stands there with his bat in his hand, a smile on his face.. ]]-

[ Maria ] HI, EVERYBODY~!

-[[ She jumps up and down. ]]-

[ Maria ] Now.. I know you're all probably sad because Chris Benoit just lost his big match but I've got something that will cheer you up!

-[[ Sting smirks, waving the bat around. ]]-

[ Maria ] BRANDON LEE IS BACK FROM THE DEAD!!

-[[ Sting stops and raises an eyebrow. ]]-

[ Maria ] Solid Gold Wrestling is like God! It takes life and it gives it back!

-[[ She claps her hands. ]]-

[ Maria ] I love the Crow! Brandon, there's a question EVERYONE is dying to know!

-[[ She turns to him with big, puppy dog eyes. ]]-

[ Maria ] When you died, did you get to meet God like Randy Orton?

-[[ Sting just stares at her.. ]]-

[ Sting ] Maria, you're beautiful.

[ Maria ] Thank you!

[ Sting ] But I'm going to pretend you asked me why I turned on Randy Orton and All-Pro Wrestling as a whole... And in response to that, I'll tell you this... I used to be All-Pro Wrestling through and through.. It was where I made my name.. It was the place that made me a world champion..

-[[ He turns to the camera.. ]]-

[ Sting ] But All-Pro Wrestling is dead.. It's gone! It's in the past!

-[[ Sting's voice rises. ]]-

[ Sting ] And Solid Gold Wrestling.. It's here right now!! It's the place to be!!

-[[ He points the bat into the camera. ]]-

[ Sting ] And you better believe.. From here on in.. The Stinger is Solid Gold Wrestling.. ALL THE WAY!!

-[[ He laughs. ]]-

[ Sting ] It's SHOWTIME, FOLKS!!

-[[ Sting walks off camera and Maria looks confused. ]]-

[ Maria ] Who is the Stinger?

-[[ Fade. ]]-
 


Referee: Mike Chioda


-[[
Ken Kennedy stares across the ring at "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner with a noticeable hint of fear in his eyes.. The four time Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion stands in his corner, clenching his fists, flexing his arms, staring a hole right through Kennedy.. Kennedy chews his gum anxiously and Mike Chioda calls for the bell.. The fans in arena are buzzing with anticipation, wondering what's going to happen when the man who seemingly can't break the glass ceiling goes head to head with the greatest world champion in Solid Gold history.. Before they can even begin to imagine, both men charge at each other like animals and begins throwing punches at each other! They trade shots until Steiner sends Kennedy reeling with a big right hand.. Kennedy goes down, flailing backwards into the ropes and Steiner stays on him, bending his neck backward over the middle rope and punching him right in the eye! Kennedy tries to fight him off and Mike Chioda tries to pull Steiner off of him but Steiner shoves Chioda off of him and pulls Kennedy off of the ropes.. Steiner hooks Kennedy and drills him with a T-Bone suplex! Kennedy sits up on his ass, yelling in pain and Steiner stalks up on him and kicks him in the back, sending him forward, landing face down on the mat.. Kennedy tries to get up but Steiner clubs him across the back and then hooks him underneath the chin.. He's going for the Steiner Recliner early, but Ken Kennedy is trying to fight out of it and he gets one of Steiner's fingers in his mouth! Kennedy begins chewing on Steiner's finger and Steiner lets go of the hold.. Kennedy scrambles back to his feet and begins taking it to Steiner with lefts and rights! He staggers Steiner but can't knock him down! Kennedy hits the ropes and nails Steiner with a clothesline! Steiner remains standing! Kennedy hits the ropes again and nails Steiner with another but Steiner only staggers back a step.. Kennedy hits the ropes again and Steiner lunges forward and rips Kennedy's head off with STEINERLINE! Steiner looks down at Kennedy, smiling and pulls him up off of the mat.. He whips him into the ropes and catches him.. Gorilla press! Steiner drops him! Steiner straddles Kennedy's back and begins clubbing him across the face with lefts and rights, rattling his head.. Steiner goes for the Steiner Recliner again.. But Kennedy raises up with a sudden adrenaline rush and lifts Steiner up on his back, piggy-back style and charges backward into the corner with him, sandwiching Mike Chioda between them and the turnbuckle! Both men tumble down and get back to their feet quickly.. Kennedy and Steiner begin trading punches again but Steiner slaps one of the punches away and nails Kennedy with a FLATLINER! Steiner sits up and sees that Chioda is down and smiles evilly.. Steiner rolls out of the ring and reaches underneath the apron.. He finds his lead pipe! Steiner rolls back inside the ring and begins waiting for Kennedy to stand up.. He motions for Kennedy to get to his feet.. Kennedy pushes himself up.. And Steiner is turned around suddenly, BIG SHOW! CHOKE SLAM! The Big Show just choke slammed Scott Steiner! The lead pipe goes flying out of the ring and Ken Kennedy scrambles over and covers Steiner! Big Show grabs Chioda and tosses him next to the pin fall and stomps out of the ring.. Chioda counts.. One! Two! THRE-- Steiner powers Kennedy off of him and Kennedy goes at least three feet in the air and lands on top of Chioda! Steiner gets back up, waiting on Kennedy to stand again.. And this time, when Kennedy stands, there's someone waiting on HIM.. Justin Credible has the Singapore cane! He's begging Kennedy to stand, stomping foot to foot.. And Kennedy is up and Credible charges and swings.. And Kennedy ducks! Justin Credible hit Scott Steiner with the Singapore cane!! Credible looks surprised and Ken Kennedy clotheslines Credible over the top rope and to the floor! Kennedy begins climbing the turnbuckles and he stares down at Steiner as the fans roar in approval... And Kennedy flies.... KENTON BOMB!! He covers him and hooks the leg as Mike Chioda comes to...... ONE!! TWO!! THREEEEEE!! Ken Kennedy has made good on his challenge on the grandest stage of them all!! ]]-
 

Winner: Ken Kennedy via Pin Fall


-[[ You see nothing but the face of Terry Taylor. ]]-

-[[ You hear celebrating going on behind him and you hear what must be the voice of Vince Russo, telling you exactly which dressing room you're in.. But all you see.. Is the face of Terry Taylor.. Terry Taylor begins speaking in a calm, matter of fact tone.. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] So.. Why did I help Rob Conway.. I know that's what you're thinking..

-[[ He nods.. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] Well, it goes all the way back to the first time I stepped foot in Solid Gold Wrestling.. When it was me, Arn Anderson and J.J. Dillon running this place.. When Arn decided to shut the doors.. I begged him to let me run Solid Gold Wrestling.. I begged him..

-[[ Taylor looks ashamed to admit that.. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] But Arn told me.. That I was too nice to run the company..

-[[ Taylor's beginning to sound bitter. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] He told me.. The wrestlers would walk all over me.. And he handed the reigns over to Shane McMahon.. He handed the reigns over to Ted Dibiase.. He even let the company fall into the hands of Jeff Jarrett.. But he'd never give me my shot..

-[[ Taylor shakes his head.. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] You're too nice, Terry.. You're too giving.. You'd never make it..

-[[ He stares hard into the camera and removes his eye glasses. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] Well.. You're right.. I am a nice guy..

-[[ His voice rises a bit. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] I'm a hell of a nice guy!

-[[ He smiles.. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] But every now and then.. I can be a real COCK!

-[[ The camera pans back to reveal the red mohawk spiked up in the middle of Taylor's brown hair! He's wearing the Red Rooster hairstyle!! Taylor tilts his head back and crows! ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] COCK-A-DOODLE DOO, SOLID GOLD WRESTLING!!

-[[ The camera pans back even further to reveal the huge party going on in the dressing room.. Vince Russo running around with bottles of champagne in each hand.. Alex Shelley holding his Pure championship while Kelly Kelly gives him a lap dance.. And Rob Conway and Michelle McCool discussing something in the corner with the Intercontinental championship.. ]]-

[ Terry Taylor ] BOW DOWN.. TO THE COCK MASTER OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!!

-[[ Terry Taylor begins jumping up and down, joining in the party and you see that he's barefoot, wearing his Red Rooster tights as well as he begins pelvic thrusting behind Kelly Kelly like a man on acid! My God, the Sports Entertainment movement has become even stronger thanks to the involvement of the former co-owner of Solid Gold Wrestling.. Terry Taylor! ]]-

-[[ Fade. ]]-
 


Referee: Charles Robinson


-[[ Gary Michael Cappetta is standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone in his hand.. In one corner, you see Jeff Jarrett, wearing his gear and ring robe, looking focused, his eyes not leaving the man in the opposite corner.. In the opposite corner, you see Ric Flair, wearing a ring robe of his own and also staring intently across the ring at Jeff Jarrett... The fans are buzzing in anticipation already, giving this an electric atmosphere.. Gary Michael Cappetta begins to speak. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time.. For the Last man Standing match!

-[[
The fans pop huge, Jarrett and Flair do not react at all to the announcement, their eyes refusing to leave each other.. Cappetta continues. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] In the corner to my right.. From Hendersonville, Tennessee.. He is weighing in tonight at two hundred.. And thirty pounds! He is the former two-time New Era Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion.. Former League of Champions World Heavyweight Champion.. And the former three-time Solid Gold Wrestling.. World.. Heavyweight Champion! He is known around the world as the Six-String Samurai and more recently.. The Jesus Christ Superstar.. He is the OWNER of Solid Gold Wrestling......... JEEEEFFFFFFFF JAAAAAARRREEEEEEETTTT!!!

-[[
The fans boo so loudly that it almost drowns out Cappetta's voice.. ]]-

[ Gary Michael Cappetta ] And in the corner to my left.. From Charlotte, North Carolina.. He is weighing in tonight at two hundred and forty-two pounds! He is the former New Era Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion.. The former League of Champions World Heavyweight Champion.. And the former Championship Wrestling Entertainment.. World.. Heavyweight Champion! All in all, this man has held NINETEEN.. WORLD.. HEAVYWEIGHT.. CHAMPIONSHIPS!! He is known around the world as the one, true "NATURE BOY," THIS IS...... RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!!!

-[[
The fans erupt, cheering, going absolutely ballistic for Flair.. Cappetta leaves the ring and both competitors discard their robes.. Charles Robinson calls for the bell.. Flair and Jarrett don't move, remaining in place, their eyes locked on the other.. The roar of the fans get louder and louder, reaching a fever pitch before each man makes a move out of his corner.. The two are as far apart as possible, nowhere near reaching distance as they circle the ring.. Closer and closer, they inch together and Flair suddenly jolts forward and Jarrett backs up quickly, falling flat on his back and rolling out of the ring.. Flair drops down and rolls out after him and Jarrett tries to escape from him, but Flair stays on his heels until Jarrett turns around on a dime and clotheslines Ric Flair to the floor! Flair tries to get right back up but Jarrett jumps on him and begins slugging away at his head, forearming him in the back repeatedly as he comes to his feet, but Jarrett is giving him no room to breathe.. Jarrett pushes Flair back against the guardrail and begins punching and elbowing Flair in the head.. Jarrett takes Flair by the arm and whips him into the ring apron and then kicks Flair in the gut.. Flair doubles over and Jarrett takes him by his hair and his tights and rams him, battering ram style into the guardrail!! Flair slumps over on his side and you can see the blood already beginning to drip out of Flair's forehead.. Jarrett kicks Flair in the side of the face and then drops down to begin slugging away at him again.. This match is ALL Jarrett! Jarrett walks over to the apron and slings it up.. Jarrett reaches underneath the ring and pulls out a TABLE! Ric Flair tries to sit up and Jarrett throws the table down on Flair! Flair tries to get it off of him but Jarrett begins stomping on the table, flattening Flair to the ground! Jarrett slings the table off of him and begins punching away at his head again.. Jarrett picks the table up and sets it up on the outside.. He pulls Flair to his feet.. Flair's wearing the crimson mask.. Jarrett slams Flair face first into the table and then throws Flair on top of it, laying him across it.. Jarrett climbs back onto the apron and then inside the ring.. Jarrett begins climbing the ropes and he stands on the top........ And Jarrett FLIES! And Flair moves! Jarrett body splashes the table and goes through it!! Ric Flair lays there, bleeding and tries to stand... He uses the apron to pull himself up and he takes Jarrett by the hair.. Flair guides Jarrett over to the apron and throws him underneath the bottom rope.. Flair follows him in and pulls Jarrett to his feet.. Flair goes for a chop but Jarrett comes alive and ducks it, catching Flair's arm and twisting..... STROKE! Both men lay motionless after the impact.. ONE! TWO! Jarrett rolls a shoulder and starts to sit up.. THREE! FOUR! Flair is motionless... FIVE! SIX! Jarrett is up, leaning on the ropes..... SEVEN! EIGHT! Flair is STILL motionless... NINE! TE-- Jarrett drops on top of Flair and breaks his own count! Jarrett doesn't want the match to end yet! Jarrett begins pummeling Flair with lefts and rights, splattering blood all over the ring around Flair's head.. And then Jarrett looks up and motions toward the back for someone to come out.. And here comes the Harris Brothers! Ron and Don Harris stalk down to the ring and step inside.. Jarrett motions for them to hold Flair up and they do.. They each take Flair by an arm and hold him there.. Jarrett punches away at Flair's head again and then kicks him in the ribs.. Jarrett scrapes his boot across Flair's face and then kicks him in the ribs again! Jarrett tells them to drop Flair and they do.. Jarrett tells Robinson to count him down.. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! Flair's not moving.. FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! Flair's hand twitches.. NINE! TE-- NO! Jarrett motions for the Harris Brothers to pick Flair up again! Jarrett motions for someone else in the back to come out.. And it's Jillian Hall with Jarrett's guitar in her hands! She walks down to the ring with a cocky look on her face.. She gets inside the ring and Jarrett tells her to break the guitar over Flair's head.. She raises it up.......... ]]-

-[[
And BATISTA'S music hits! The fans erupt, Jarrett, Jillian and the Harris Brothers look shocked... But no one comes out.. Batista is nowhere to be seen... Confusion washes over Jarrett's face.. And then he laughs...... And the Golden-Tron flashes to life, revealing Batista's face, strained and gushing blood.. The camera pans back to reveal that Batista is in the STEINER RECLINER!! It was a damn trick! Jarrett knew Batista was incapacitated!! Scott Steiner keeps the hold locked on, ripping back on Batista's head.. And then you see, off to the side, Buff Bagwell and Gene Snitsky kicking away at Paul Burchill on the ground!! The InHumane Society is working together once again for one night only!! The Golden-Tron cuts off and everyone in the ring but Flair is laughing.. Jarrett and Jillian exchange glances.. And Jillian shatters the guitar over Flair's head!! The Harris Brothers sling Flair down face first and Jarrett stands over him, raising his arms in victory as the referee counts to ten! Jeff Jarrett is the winner of the match.. Jeff Jarrett has vanquished this ghost from the past with absolutely no effort whatsoever! ]]-
 

Winner: Jeff Jarrett


-[[ Jeff Jarrett, the Harris Brothers and Jillian Hall are celebrating the victory when the instrumental version of "Iron Man" hits.. Vince Russo, Alex Shelley, Rob Conway, Michelle McCool and even Terry Taylor, dressed in full Red Rooster garb walk out onto the stage, having cut their celebration short to congratulate Jarrett... They all make their way to the ring, clapping, applauding Jarrett.. Vince Russo calls for a microphone.. ]]-

[ Vince Russo ] I guess.. This is it, Jeff..

-[[ Jarrett nods.. ]]-

[ Vince Russo ] God damn, it's been a good ride, man..

-[[ Russo gets choked up.. ]]-

[ Vince Russo ] I don't want you to go, Jeff.. I don't want ya' to leave, man..

-[[ Jarrett looks down, moved by this. ]]-

[ Vince Russo ] I love ya', man.. In a totally hetero way.. I ain't gay or some shit.

-[[ Vince Russo opens his mouth to talk again, but then just hugs Jarrett.. Jarrett hugs Russo back and they remain like that for a few seconds before they let go and take a step away from each other.. Russo raises the microphone again.. ]]-

[ Vince Russo ] But.. If ya' gotta go.. Ya' gotta go.

-[[ And the Harris Brothers blast Jarrett from behind! The Harris Brothers, Alex Shelley and Rob Conway all begin putting the boots to Jarrett, drilling him left and right!! Jillian Hall begins screaming for them to stop and she pushes Russo off of Jarrett and slaps him in the face!! Russo takes her by the hair and throws her down in front of the Harris Brothers.. They reach down and grab her.... And H-BOMB HER ONTO THE MAT!! Gene Snitsky charges down from the back and slides into the ring but before he can even stand, Shelley and Conway begin stomping him into the mat and dropping elbows across his back!! The Harris Brothers grab Snitsky and lift him high.... H-BOMB!! Rob Conway rolls out of the ring and reaches underneath the ring.. He pulls a table out from underneath the ring and slides it inside.. The Harris Brothers set the table up and lay Jarrett across it.. Russo begins directing traffic and they put Jillian on top of Jarrett in a sixty-nine position.. And Alex Shelley begins climbing the ropes.. He stands on the top and JUMPS..... DOUBLE STOMP THROUGH THE TABLE!! Russo grabs his microphone again.. ]]-

[ Vince Russo ] Now, take your shit.. And get DA' FUCK OUT O' MY COMPANY!!

-[[ The Pulse, now consisting of Russo, Terry Taylor, Shelley, Conway, McCool and the Harris Brothers exit the ring as the fans don't know HOW to respond to what they just saw.. Jarrett and Jillian lay in the table wreckage, not moving at all as Gene Snitsky crawls toward them painfully.. EMTs and officials rush to the ring to check on them as we fade. ]]-
 

Hour 3