Date:
Sunday, July 30th, 2006 |
Live From: Boston, Massachusetts | Commentators:
Joey Styles & Don Callis
|
Referee:
Scott James
|
Winners: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin & Taz via Submission
-[[ "The Franchise" Shane Douglas is standing there in his yellow shirt and wrestling tights.. He's got his microphone in his hand, rubbing his goatee and laughing like a maniac.. When the camera pans over, you see Lance Storm and Mike Awesome standing there.. Lance Storm has the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder.. ]]- [ Shane Douglas ] HERE I AM, SGW!! THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE, SHANE DOUGLAS, EARNIN' HIS PAYCHECK THE WAY HE GOD DAMN WELL SHOULD BE.. WITH A GOD DAMN MICROPHONE IN HIS HAND, UNLIKE THAT CUNT RAG MARIA.. THAT UNDESERVING BITCH THAT'S TRYING TO MOVE IN ON MY GOD DAMN FUCKING JOB!! -[[ He laughs. ]]- [ Shane Douglas ] BUT THAT WON'T BE A FUCKIN' ISSUE AFTER TONIGHT.. BECAUSE I'M GONNA END HER FUCKIN' CAREER!! HA HA HA!! BUT FOR NOW.. I HAVE TO SETTLE FOR INTERVIEWING THE SGW WORLD.. HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.. LANCE FUCKIN' STORM!! -[[ Douglas puts the microphone in Storm's face. ]]- [ Lance Storm ] Greetings, Shane. [ Shane Douglas ] LANCE STORM.. YOU'RE FACING EDGE TONIGHT.. AND QUITE FRANKLY.. THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST YOU!! THE FANS.. THEY DON'T THINK YOU CAN FUCKIN' DO IT!! WHATCHAGOTTASAYBOUTHAT!? -[[ Storm hesitates and then speaks. ]]- [ Lance Storm ] Shane.. Edge has a long storied career with Solid Gold Wrestling.. But in this company, he has seen just as many lows.. As he has seen highs.. Unlike Edge, I have never suffered defeat in this company.. And while he may be undefeated thus far in this incarnation of Solid Gold Wrestling.. That will have no bearing on what I shall do to him in the ring tonight.. -[[ Lance Storm stares into the camera.. ]]- [ Lance Storm ] I promise.. To you, Edge.. And to the fans.. Nothing less than a victory tonight.. I will not lose my championship belt to you.. I can't lose my championship belt to you.. Because not only am I defending the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship.. I'm defending the honor and the morals of this entire company.. -[[ Storm hikes the belt up higher on his shoulder.. ]]- [ Lance Storm ] I just hope.. That after I am victorious tonight.. That Edge can deal with it. -[[ He looks down at his title. ]]- [ Lance Storm ] But regardless if he can or not.. He will have no one to blame.. But himself. -[[ Storm walks off camera, leaving Awesome and Douglas.. They look at each other. ]]- [ Mike Awesome ] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT, FRANCHISE!? RIGHT HERE!! YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE, LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE OR I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!! YEAH!! [ Shane Douglas ] FUCK YOU, MIKE AWESOME!! LOOK WHO YOU'RE FUCKIN' TALKING TO!! I'M THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE!! THE LIFETIME SOLID GOLD WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION!! A TITLE NO ONE HAD BEFORE ME.. AND NO ONE HAS HAD SINCE!! SO FUCK YOU, YOU LOUD MOUTHED PRICK!! [ Mike Awesome ] I AIN'T NO LOUD MOUTHED PRICK, YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER!! THAT'S IT!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THE LIFETIME CHAMPION OR NOT!! YOU'RE GONNA BE THE DEADTIME CHAMPION, BECAUSE I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!! RIGHT HERE!! YEAH!! HERE IT COMES!! AWESOME BOMB, MOTHER FUCKER!! [ Shane Douglas ] I DARE YOU TO AWESOME BOMB ME, YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!! I'LL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL, YOU BASTARD!! I'LL SEND YOUR ASS INTO OBLITACREE!! -[[ Awesome and Douglas get right up in each other's faces and Lance Storm walks up casually and grabs Awesome by the arm.. Douglas and Awesome's eyes never leave other.. ]]- [ Lance Storm ] This way, Mike.. Now. -[[ Awesome walks with Storm, yelling at Douglas. ]]- [ Mike Awesome ] FUCK YOU, DOUGLAS!! [ Shane Douglas ] KISS MY ASS, SHIT EATER!! HA HA HA!! -[[ Awesome and Storm walk away and as they do, they come face to face with Petey Williams, Bobby Roode and Scott D'Amore.. Petey walks up to Storm and points at the belt on Storm's shoulder. ]]- [ Petey Williams ] Make Canada proud, Lance. [ Lance Storm ] I intend to. -[[ Storm and Awesome walk away as Petey and the others watch them go. ]]-
-[[
Fade.
]]- |
Referee:
Jimmy Cordaris
|
Winner & New Pure Champion: Alex Shelley via Disqualification
-[[ Maria stands there with a microphone in her hand, she appears to be really excited.. The camera pans over next to her and you see that her interview subject is the former representative of All-Pro Wrestling, Sting.. Sting stands there with his bat in his hand, a smile on his face.. ]]- [ Maria ] HI, EVERYBODY~! -[[ She jumps up and down. ]]- [ Maria ] Now.. I know you're all probably sad because Chris Benoit just lost his big match but I've got something that will cheer you up! -[[ Sting smirks, waving the bat around. ]]- [ Maria ] BRANDON LEE IS BACK FROM THE DEAD!! -[[ Sting stops and raises an eyebrow. ]]- [ Maria ] Solid Gold Wrestling is like God! It takes life and it gives it back! -[[ She claps her hands. ]]- [ Maria ] I love the Crow! Brandon, there's a question EVERYONE is dying to know! -[[ She turns to him with big, puppy dog eyes. ]]- [ Maria ] When you died, did you get to meet God like Randy Orton? -[[ Sting just stares at her.. ]]- [ Sting ] Maria, you're beautiful. [ Maria ] Thank you! [ Sting ] But I'm going to pretend you asked me why I turned on Randy Orton and All-Pro Wrestling as a whole... And in response to that, I'll tell you this... I used to be All-Pro Wrestling through and through.. It was where I made my name.. It was the place that made me a world champion.. -[[ He turns to the camera.. ]]- [ Sting ] But All-Pro Wrestling is dead.. It's gone! It's in the past! -[[ Sting's voice rises. ]]- [ Sting ] And Solid Gold Wrestling.. It's here right now!! It's the place to be!! -[[ He points the bat into the camera. ]]- [ Sting ] And you better believe.. From here on in.. The Stinger is Solid Gold Wrestling.. ALL THE WAY!! -[[ He laughs. ]]- [ Sting ] It's SHOWTIME, FOLKS!! -[[ Sting walks off camera and Maria looks confused. ]]- [ Maria ] Who is the Stinger?
-[[
Fade.
]]- |
Referee:
Mike Chioda
|
Winner: Ken Kennedy via Pin Fall
-[[ You hear celebrating going on behind him and you hear what must be the voice of Vince Russo, telling you exactly which dressing room you're in.. But all you see.. Is the face of Terry Taylor.. Terry Taylor begins speaking in a calm, matter of fact tone.. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] So.. Why did I help Rob Conway.. I know that's what you're thinking.. -[[ He nods.. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] Well, it goes all the way back to the first time I stepped foot in Solid Gold Wrestling.. When it was me, Arn Anderson and J.J. Dillon running this place.. When Arn decided to shut the doors.. I begged him to let me run Solid Gold Wrestling.. I begged him.. -[[ Taylor looks ashamed to admit that.. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] But Arn told me.. That I was too nice to run the company.. -[[ Taylor's beginning to sound bitter. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] He told me.. The wrestlers would walk all over me.. And he handed the reigns over to Shane McMahon.. He handed the reigns over to Ted Dibiase.. He even let the company fall into the hands of Jeff Jarrett.. But he'd never give me my shot.. -[[ Taylor shakes his head.. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] You're too nice, Terry.. You're too giving.. You'd never make it.. -[[ He stares hard into the camera and removes his eye glasses. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] Well.. You're right.. I am a nice guy.. -[[ His voice rises a bit. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] I'm a hell of a nice guy! -[[ He smiles.. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] But every now and then.. I can be a real COCK! -[[ The camera pans back to reveal the red mohawk spiked up in the middle of Taylor's brown hair! He's wearing the Red Rooster hairstyle!! Taylor tilts his head back and crows! ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] COCK-A-DOODLE DOO, SOLID GOLD WRESTLING!! -[[ The camera pans back even further to reveal the huge party going on in the dressing room.. Vince Russo running around with bottles of champagne in each hand.. Alex Shelley holding his Pure championship while Kelly Kelly gives him a lap dance.. And Rob Conway and Michelle McCool discussing something in the corner with the Intercontinental championship.. ]]- [ Terry Taylor ] BOW DOWN.. TO THE COCK MASTER OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!! -[[ Terry Taylor begins jumping up and down, joining in the party and you see that he's barefoot, wearing his Red Rooster tights as well as he begins pelvic thrusting behind Kelly Kelly like a man on acid! My God, the Sports Entertainment movement has become even stronger thanks to the involvement of the former co-owner of Solid Gold Wrestling.. Terry Taylor! ]]-
-[[
Fade.
]]- |
Referee:
Charles Robinson
|
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
[ Vince Russo ] I guess.. This is it, Jeff.. -[[ Jarrett nods.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] God damn, it's been a good ride, man.. -[[ Russo gets choked up.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] I don't want you to go, Jeff.. I don't want ya' to leave, man.. -[[ Jarrett looks down, moved by this. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] I love ya', man.. In a totally hetero way.. I ain't gay or some shit. -[[ Vince Russo opens his mouth to talk again, but then just hugs Jarrett.. Jarrett hugs Russo back and they remain like that for a few seconds before they let go and take a step away from each other.. Russo raises the microphone again.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] But.. If ya' gotta go.. Ya' gotta go. -[[ And the Harris Brothers blast Jarrett from behind! The Harris Brothers, Alex Shelley and Rob Conway all begin putting the boots to Jarrett, drilling him left and right!! Jillian Hall begins screaming for them to stop and she pushes Russo off of Jarrett and slaps him in the face!! Russo takes her by the hair and throws her down in front of the Harris Brothers.. They reach down and grab her.... And H-BOMB HER ONTO THE MAT!! Gene Snitsky charges down from the back and slides into the ring but before he can even stand, Shelley and Conway begin stomping him into the mat and dropping elbows across his back!! The Harris Brothers grab Snitsky and lift him high.... H-BOMB!! Rob Conway rolls out of the ring and reaches underneath the ring.. He pulls a table out from underneath the ring and slides it inside.. The Harris Brothers set the table up and lay Jarrett across it.. Russo begins directing traffic and they put Jillian on top of Jarrett in a sixty-nine position.. And Alex Shelley begins climbing the ropes.. He stands on the top and JUMPS..... DOUBLE STOMP THROUGH THE TABLE!! Russo grabs his microphone again.. ]]- [ Vince Russo ] Now, take your shit.. And get DA' FUCK OUT O' MY COMPANY!!
-[[
The Pulse, now
consisting of Russo, Terry Taylor, Shelley, Conway, McCool and the Harris
Brothers exit the ring as the fans don't know HOW to respond to what they
just saw.. Jarrett and Jillian lay in the table wreckage, not moving at
all as Gene Snitsky crawls toward them painfully.. EMTs and officials rush
to the ring to check on them as we fade.
]]- |