12 / 28 / 2019 | United Center | Chicago, Illinois

Commentators - Nigel McGuinness, Renee Young, and Booker T.

Dark Matches

- "The Villain" Marty Scurll def. Cheeseburger via Submission w/ Crossface Chickenwing in 4:18
- Los Ice Creams (Ice Cream, Jr. & El Hijo del Ice Cream) (w/ Ted Dibiase) def. The Carnies (Nick Iggy & Kerry Awful) via Pin Fall w/ El Asesino in 2:09
- Team Kick (Dakota Kai & Tegan Nox) def. Marina Shafir & Jessamyn Duke via Pin Fall w/ The Shiniest Wizard in 6:23
- Bobby Fish & Kyle O'Reilly def. The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford) via Pin Fall w/ Chasing the Dragon in 5:11
- Killer Kross def. Shane Thorne via Pin Fall w/ Doomsday Saito in 00:54
- Warhorse def. Davey Boy Smith, Jr. via Pin Fall w/ Warpony Stomp in 1:19
- Ruby Riott def. Mia Yim via Pin Fall w/ Riott Kick in 7:48
- Reno SCUM (Luster the Legend & Adam Thornstowe) def. The Butcher & The Blade via Pin Fall w/ Okie Killer in 11:42
- The Big Kaijus (Hikaru Shida & Shoko Nakajima) def. Team Sea Stars (Ashley Vox & Delmi Exo) via Pin Fall w/ Tamashii No Three Count in 01:02
- Bray Wyatt def. Shannon Moore w/ Sister Abigail in 9:11
- Zack Sabre, Jr. def. Karl Anderson via Submission w/ Cross Armbreaker in 4:09
- Jimmy Jacobs (w/ Lacey) def. BJ Whitmer via Pin Fall w/ Contra Code in 19:41
- The Best Friends (Chuck Taylor & Trent?) (w/ Orange Cassidy) def. Bill Dundee & Koko B. Ware via Pin Fall w/ Hand Grenade in 52:01
- Starlight Kid def. Leo Onozaki via Pin Fall w/ Moonsault in 3:23
- Finn Balor def. Fit Finlay via Pin Fall w/ Coup de Grace in 00:51

We fade up on a wide view of the parking lot outside the United Center.

"EARLIER TODAY"

There's silence, nothing but peace in the valley for all to see... however, that peace become interrupted by the roar of our live crowd when a black limousine pulls into the shot and comes to a stop. There's an obvious buzz of electricity as the fans anticipate the person who is bound to step out at any moment... and then that person does step out... and that anticipation turns to vitriol... and that excitement turns to uncontrollable anger. The boos spread across the arena like wildfire... as the Solid Gold Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, Randy Orton, steps out of the limousine in a three piece suit and the SGW World Championship resting on his shoulder. Despite this video being taped earlier today, it's almost as if Randy Orton can hear the jeering fans. He looks around at his surroundings with his nose upturned, a smug look on his face.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a very special lead-in edition of Saturday Night SHOCK! I'm Nigel McGuinness, joined today by two very special guests, Renee Young and forma' SGW World Tag Team Champion, Booka' T.!

[ Renee Young ] It's an honor to be here, Nigel! I've managed to obtain a bit of experience with Solid Gold Wrestling while acting as Tessa Blanchard's liaison to the wrestling media but I must say, actually being here in an official capacity? It's breathtaking!

[ Booker T. ] IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, DAWG! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE ME 'N MY BROTHA' STEVIE RAY BEEN MAKIN' WAVES IN SOLID GOLD! SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK! IT SHO' IS GOOD TO BE BACK, NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT!?

Behind him, Chris Masters and Ken Kennedy emerge from the limousine, also in suits and looking like the presidential secret service. They stand behind Orton and survey the surroundings themselves, looking satisfied. The limousine drives off behind them and they begin walking toward the arena... only to be stopped by "The Franchise" Shane Douglas, who is walking like he's been riding a horse all day while wearing a yellow polo shirt, the SGW Lifetime World Heavyweight Championship belt, and a pair of khaki pants that are positively soaked through down to his knees. Kennedy looks down at Douglas' pants and shakes his head in disgust. Masters waves his hand in front of his nose, sneering.

[ Ken Kennedy ] Jesus Christ, Franchise! Have you no shame, man?!

Orton's eyes narrow and he stares right into Douglas' beady eyes.

[ Randy Orton ] Are you serious right now?

Orton sniffs the air dramatically and looks disgusted by what he smells.

[ Randy Orton ] Have some respect for yourself, you piece of shit.

Douglas sneers and then cracks a confident smile.

[ Shane Douglas ] EVERYBODY KNOWS, RANDY ORTON... THAT A MAN DOES NOT MAKE IT THIS FAR IN THE SO-CALLED PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING BUSINESS BY HAVING RESPECT FOR HIMSELF!

Masters and Kennedy look at each other, confused.

[ Chris Masters ] What does that even mean, you idiot.

[ Ken Kennedy ] And what's this about the so-called professional wrestling business?

Masters scratches his chin, thinking it over and then shaking his head in frustration.

[ Chris Masters ] This literally is the professional wrestling business.

Orton throws his hand up, gesturing toward the men behind him to shut up. Orton's eyes never leave Douglas. He stares a hole right through him, right into his soul. Douglas, despite being confident only seconds earlier, looks genuinely disturbed... perhaps having a flashback to his altercation with Orton at 12 Large. Kennedy and Masters have fallen silent behind him, watching intently.

[ Randy Orton ] I assume you have questions, Douglas.

Douglas nods slowly, gazing into Orton's eyes.

[ Randy Orton ] Then I suggest you ask them... and stop wasting my god damn time.

Douglas looks around nervously before offering a dry laugh and raising his microphone again.

[ Shane Douglas ] DON'T MIND IF I FUCKIN' DO! RANDY FUCKIN' ORTON... YOU TAZ KILLING SON OF A BITCH! TONIGHT, YOU STEP IN THE RING WITH SGW'S MOST GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, GOD DAMN HANDSOME MAN, ADAM FUCKIN' COLE! HE SAYS HE'D BE THE CHAMPION IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR FUCK BUDDIES BACK THERE... AND I CAN'T SAY I FUCKIN' DISAGREE! WHAT SAY YOU, RANDY ORTON!? HA HA HA! WHAT HAVE YA' GOTTA SAY ABOUT THAT?!

A smile begins to creep across the face of Randy Orton. It's unsettling. Orton leans in close to Douglas and places his hand on his shoulder... before looking disgusted and pulling his hand away. Orton turns and wipes his hand on Kennedy's shoulder then turns back around to glare at Douglas as if that just didn't happen.

[ Randy Orton ] The fact of the matter is this, Shane. Adam Cole can say whatever he wants... coulda', woulda', shoulda'... that's all it is. I'm the one who left 12 Large as the SGW World... Heavyweight... Champion. My advice to you and everyone else out there watching tonight... is pay attention to the main event... or don't... because what you see me to do to Adam Cole?

Kennedy and Masters both smile, nodding along as Orton speaks.

[ Randy Orton ] ...is gonna make it real hard for you to smile in the future.

Orton looks over his shoulder at Kennedy and Masters.

[ Randy Orton ] Come on, boys.

Orton walks past Douglas without even looking at him. Kennedy stops, chewing his gum obnoxiously and looks down at Douglas' microphone. Kennedy places his hands on his hips and smiles confidently.

[ Ken Kennedy ] What he said, Douglas. Keep an eye on the main event, bucko. We've got a real BIG surprise to close the SHOW.

Douglas raises an eyebrow, smiling evilly. Orton and Masters both turn around and look pissed.

[ Ken Kennedy ] And that surprise? He's got somethin' for Adam Cole. Somethin' real special.

Kennedy holds up his hand, wiggling his fingers.

[ Ken Kennedy ] And he's gonna give it to him... with his hand!

[ Shane Douglas ] THE BIG SHOW IS GONNA JERK OFF ADAM COLE?!

Kennedy looks taken aback.

[ Ken Kennedy ] What?! NOOOO! It's a... it's a choke slam!

Orton looks furious.

[ Ken Kennedy ] You use your hand to deliver the choke slam, you fool!

And then Kennedy catches himself.

[ Ken Kennedy ] AND IT ISN'T THE BIG SHOW!

Orton jerks this thumb toward Kennedy and Masters approaches him.

[ Ken Kennedy ] Why would my former tag team partner and another member of the old, dead Golden Rule faction show up randomly during the main event of a pay-per-view where all other former members of said faction are involved-- HEY!

Masters takes Kennedy by the tie and drags him away from the scene. Douglas begins laughing quietly as he watches Orton and Masters dress Kennedy down on their way inside the building. However, before Douglas can walk away, he sees an approaching Seth Rollins! Rollins is walking toward the arena with his bag slung over his shoulder. Douglas quickly approaches with an audible squish in his shoes with every step. Rollins sees him coming and takes a deep breath.

[ Shane Douglas ] SETH FUCKIN' ROLLINS! THE MAN WHO CLAIMS HE'S GONNA BURN IT THE FUCK DOWN! WELL GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, FUCK BOY, BECAUSE SOLID GOLD WRESTLING IS THE HOUSE THAT THE MOTHER FUCKIN' FRANCHISE BUILT AND IT'S BUILT... HA HA HA! LIKE A BRICK SHIT HOUSE!

Rollins doesn't even know what to say to that.

[ Seth Rollins ] Yeah, okay. We're actually doing this... Nice to meet you, Franchise... I've heard a lot... and I do mean a LOT about you and your contributions to Solid Gold Wrestling... but I'm actually not here to burn the company down, contrary to what you might've heard. I'm here because the word on the street is... that this is the place where the best competitors in the world come to find out who really is the best.

Douglas nods and strokes his beard.

[ Seth Rollins ] More importantly, tonight... I'm here to honor a man that gave everything to this company. I'm here to win the Chris Kanyon Memorial Battle Royal... and from what I hear, there's gonna be a handful of so-called SGW legends competing in this match, too. To me, that sounds like an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone when I honor the legend of Chris Kanyon... and make a statement that Seth Rollins... is Solid Gold.

[ Shane Douglas ] WELL, THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE WOULD WISH YOU LUCK, SETH ROLLINS, BUT I'M AFRAID... HA HA HA! YOUR LUCK JUST FUCKIN' RAN OUT BECAUSE THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE IS THE MAN THAT'S GONNA WIN THAT BATTLE ROYAL AND THERE AIN'T A GOD DAMN THING ANYBODY CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Rollins sighs and his shoulders slump.

[ Seth Rollins ] You are in the battle royal?

[ Shane Douglas ] THAT'S GOD DAMN RIGHT! WHAT BIGGER LEGEND IS THERE TO HONOR CHRIS KANYON THAN THE LIFETIME SGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!? THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE HIMSELF AND THE MAN WHO DRAGGED BOTH RHYNO AND TAZ TO TAG TEAM GOLD, A FEAT NEVER BEFORE ACCOMPLISHED BY ANOTHER MORTAL MAN AND A FEAT THAT WILL NEVER BE FUCKIN' ACCOMPLISHED AGAIN!

Rollins completely no-sells everything Douglas just said.

[ Seth Rollins ] At least tell me you're gonna change pants before the match.

Douglas tilts his head back and laughs.

[ Shane Douglas ] THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW... AND YOU TO FIND OUT! HA HA HA! BUT HERE'S A SPOILER FOR YA', KID! FUCK NO! THE FRANCHISE CHANGES HIS PANTS FOR NO MAN AND CERTAINLY NOT FOR A MAN WHO ALLOWS HIS NUDE SELFIES TO BE SPREAD AROUND THE INTERNET LIKE A MICRO PENIS STD!

[ Seth Rollins ] So, you looked up my leaked photos, huh?

[ Shane Douglas ] STRICTLY FOR SCIENTIFIC FUCKIN' PURPOSES!

Rollins shakes his head and just looks toward the arena.

[ Seth Rollins ] I'll see you out there. This interview is over.

Rollins walks past him and enters the arena. Douglas continues chuckling to himself and surveying the area for his next victim. Sami Zayn and Hurricane Helms emerge from seemingly nowhere and shockingly approach the Franchise voluntarily only for Douglas to turn his nose up in disgust.

[ Shane Douglas ] WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO THINK THIS IS?! SOME KINDA' CHARITY FOR FUCKIN' HOBOS!? GET THE FUCK... GET THE FUCK... GET THE GOD DAMN FUCKIN' FUCK OUTTA' HERE!

Helms looks genuinely offended by Sami Zayn takes him by the sleeve of his jacket and guides him away, looking sad.

[ Sami Zayn ] It's not worth it, man. Let's go.

Helms and Zayn enter the arena, leaving Douglas to himself once again. Douglas watches them leave until the door clicks shut behind them and then appears satisfied with the work he's done here. However, as Douglas turns to walk away, he finds himself face to face with... JOHN CENA! The live crowd pops huge. John Cena is already wearing a black and white striped variation on his usual t-shirt with the slogan "HUSTLE. LOYALTY. REFEREE" written on it. Even his hat is black and white striped. Cena has his hands on his hips, smiling as he stares off in the distance, looking beyond the Franchise. Douglas looks around, confused, and then allows his eyes to settle on Cena.

[ Shane Douglas ] WELL, WELL, WELL... IF IT ISN'T THE FUCKIN' BOY SCOUT HIMSELF, JOHN FUCKIN' CENA! WHAT'S GOIN' ON, CENA!? WHAT'S GOIN' THROUGH YOUR HEAD, YOU ZEBRA! YOU GOD DAMN FUCKIN' WANNABE GANGSTER ZEBRA!

Cena smiles and looks down at the ground before scratching his chin and looking up to meet the gaze of the Franchise. Douglas is trembling, sweat rolling off his reddened face. Cena offers him a warm smile.

[ John Cena ] Do you know what day it is, Shane?

Douglas looks confused, tilting his sweaty head to the side.

[ John Cena ] It's three days past Christmas.

[ Shane Douglas ] YEAH, SO!? WHAT'S THAT GOTTA DO WITH ANYTHING, CENA!? AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALREADY DRESSED FOR THE MAIN EVENT?! IT'S GONNA BE AT LEAST FOUR HOURS BEFORE ADAM COLE WINS THE WORLD TITLE! THE SAME WORLD TITLE THAT I WON AND PUT ON THE MAP, R.I.P., TWENTY YEARS AGO!

Cena chuckles.

[ John Cena ] I'm the referee in the main event tonight, Franchise. No matter what role I'm in, whether it be a wrestler, a referee, or even a backstage interviewer, I take it very seriously... and I've learned that a good referee is always ready. He eats, sleeps, and breathes bein' a referee. Maintaining order is what keeps him going.

Douglas contorts his face, not understanding at all.

[ John Cena ] As for what that has to do with bein' three days removed from Christmas? Well, not much... but let me tell you a story. My girlfriend asked me... "John, what do you want for Christmas?" And I told her point blank...

Cena lets that hang for a moment and he looks proud of himself.

[ John Cena ] I told her... I don't want much because John Cena is a blessed man... all I want is one thing... and that one thing? A good, clean SGW World Title match in the main event of Holiday Hell... and do ya' know what she said? She said, "John, baby, I can't control that."

Cena's smile gets even bigger.

[ John Cena ] And I told her "that's alright, honey... because I can."

"My Time is Now" suddenly begins playing from an unknown source and Cena reaches up and removes his baseball cap before throwing it off into the depths of the parking lot, causing a car alarm to go off as the fans go wild! Douglas doesn't even have time to respond before Cena launches into a dead sprint toward the arena, slings the door open, and disappears inside! The music cuts the very second that the door shuts behind him! The Franchise watches in awe and the camera zooms past him, further into the depths of the parking lot, focusing on something going on behind him that even he is unaware of.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] As if Shane Douglas harassing half the bloody roster wasn't exciting enough, the excitement certainly didn't stop there. If you keep watching the footage, you see something else take place that will certainly weigh in later on tonight's event!

We see a rental car pulling into a parking space. The vehicle sits there in a silence for a moment before the driver's side door opens up and Alexa Bliss steps out in street clothes. The live crowd immediately begins booing their hearts out. From the passenger's side steps Nikki Cross. Before they can react, before they can even speak to each other, Tessa Blanchard comes out of nowhere and nails Alexa Bliss with a forearm that knocks her backward into her car door! Alexa falls down into a seated position and Nikki Cross rages out, rounding the vehicle and coming after Tessa! They both begin immediately trading punches like women possessed!

[ Booker T. ] AW MAN! DAT'S MY GIRL, TESSA, DAWG! GOIN' T' WORK!

[ Renee Young ] OH!

Tessa and Nikki Cross brawl out toward the rear of the vehicle and Tessa abruptly takes over with a knee lift and smacks Nikki Cross' head into the trunk! Without hesitation, Tessa takes a handful of Cross' hair and guides her around to the passenger side door. Cross tries to fight her off with punches at her mid-section but Tessa completely no-sells it before drilling Cross with a forearm to the jaw that leaves in her in a seated position inside the door... and TESSA SLAMS THE CAR DOOR ON NIKKI CROSS' HEAD AND UPPER BODY!

[ Renee Young ] OOOOH!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] What a devastating, brutal, and unforgiving attack!

Nikki Cross slumps over on her side, completely unconscious. Tessa looks around, checking her surroundings, and quickly leaves the scene with a look of confidence on her face. As the camera zooms in on the scene, we see Alexa Bliss finally return to her feet and scramble toward Nikki Cross, checking on her and finding her completely unresponsive before taking out her cell phone and calling an ambulance.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I can't say I agree with it, friends, but that's certainly one way to even the odds!

[ Booker T. ] SHE STRAIGHT ENDED DAT WOMAN'S CAREER, DAWG!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] We do have an update on the situation, however. Nikki Cross was rushed to a local medical facility where she's being held for observation. Unfortunately for Alexa Bliss, she will not be taking part in any festivities tonight at Holiday Hell... Tessa Blanchard did in fact even the odds and we will be seeing Alexa Bliss facing Tessa Blanchard in a legitimate one-on-one contest!

[ Booker T. ] DAT'S DA' WAY IT SHOULD BE! MANO A MANO! WE FITTIN' TO SEE THESE TWO CHICKEN HEADS SQUARE UP AND WE BOUTS TO SEE WHO REALLY WANTS IT, YA' DIG!?

The camera slowly pans out, giving us a wide shot of Alexa Bliss cradling Nikki Cross and looking genuinely concerned as we fade out and head to the ringside area.

With no more interruptions to be had for the moment, Yonosuke’s “Golden Lovers Theme” blares across the speakers and Chicago is electric – this is it! This is the action they’ve been waiting for!

[ Booker T. ] WE OFF! OFF TO ‘DA RACES, PLAYA!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The first of our 12 contests tonight, and it’s two fan favorite squads including this one – the dangerous combination of Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi – the Golden Lovers!

[ Renee Young ] Each of these men are candidates for the most athletic man on the roster – so their relative slump in action is all the more confusing, fellas!

[ Booker T. ] WHELL, ‘YA SEE, CHU DAWGS DON’T ALWAYS CONSIDER ‘DA FUNCTIONS, ‘DA FUNCTIONALITY OF ‘DA GAME WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO ‘DA TAG MATCHES, CHU’DIG?! ALL I KNOW IS ‘DAT RING IS ‘DA REAL TEST OF HATFIELDS VERSE MACCOYS, SUCKA! YOU WON’T THE GOLD, SUCKAS? CHU GOTTA DIG IT! CHU GOTTA WORK! LET’S SEE WHICH GUNFIGHTERS IS READY TO SWING ON THE ROPES, WHO READY TO SWASHBUCKLE RIGHT HERE TONIGHT?! ISS HOLIDAY HELL, DAWG!

There’s a strange silence as the Lovers slide into the ring and point their fingers to the hard camera, back to back. A “GOL-DEN-LOVE-VERS!” chant roars out through the United Center as we get a shot of our announce table, where Booker is beaming and his partners look, well, confused.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Speaking of confusing, what in the hell did you even just say, Book?!

Booker does not have the time to dissolve his rambled musings, as the Magnum PI Theme breaks onto the speakers and sets the Chicago crowd into another frenzy.

[ Renee Young ] Meanwhile, these gentlemen have certainly taken SGW by storm!

Team Tremendous emerge from the back in covert-ops poses, finger guns pulled and scanning the arena before stopping on center-ring, where the Golden Lovers stand solemnly, even smiling at their expressive and fun opponents at the top of the ramp.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] These finger guns are ridiculous, but dammit’all if the Tremendous Team haven’t made the most of their opportunities here!

Officer Dan Barry leads the pair down to the ring, shouting instructions to the wide-eyed Detective Bill Carr, who is pumped up for this big-time opportunity to kick off the night in Chicago. The pair enter the ring and pose, flashbulbs lighting up the arena and sending the police duo into theatrics, diving into their corner in terror.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] NO, NO! IT’S FLASHES, NOT FIRE! Ah, my…these two…they’ll give me a bloody heart attack.

[ Booker T. ] DAD’GUM, NIGEL, SON, YOU DIN’T EVEN COVAH THE BREAD WITH ‘DA BUTTER, MAYNE! I’LL TELL YA, RENEE, DESE DAWGS BE MAKIN’ SOME JOKES, DEY BE MAKIN’ SOME MOVES, DOE! YOU AIN’T JOKIN’ PLAYA! DESE TWO GOTS SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS, DAWG!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] …don’t we all, Booker…don’t we all?

Referee - Mike Chioda | Time Limit - 30:00

Senior Official Mike Chioda drew the unenviable task of containing this opening contest for the evening, which was nothing short of a barnstormer for its entirety.

Carr’s frame, much bulkier than his opponents’ and yet not QUITE a step slower, was a wrecking ball in the early going, throwing Barry into Omega and connecting with a big powerslam to a diving Ibushi to begin the contest.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] MY WORD! This one isn’t slacking! Here we go!

Ibushi forces his shoulder up and kips up before Carr can rise and starts throwing stiff kicks like lightning! A spin kick! A roundhouse! A knee strike! And Ibushi charges, shooting off the ropes – but Barry is alive! SWINGING NECKBREAKER STOPS HIM IN HIS TRACKS!

Omega is on Barry quickly, clapping him with a SnapDragon suplex! The Chicago crowd explodes as Omega vaults to the apron and springboards in! – CARR DUCKS! – Springboard frogsplash to Barry! Ibushi throws a big hurricanrana at Carr, but the Detective stops the momentum as Omega covers Barry – ONE! TWO! NO!

NO! Carr plants Ibushi with a powerbomb, stopping Omega’s cover! The big man swiftly climbs to the middle rope and soars off, catching Omega with a diving shoulder tackle! Omega rolls backwards through the impact and charges in – but Carr pulls his finger gun!

[ Bill Carr ] FREEZE, PUNK!

Ibushi inches away from Barry, still down from the impact, as Omega throws his hands up into the air and Carr begins to advance on him –

– BUT IBUSHI GRABS CARR IN A DRAGON SUPLEX! Carr fires his finger gun wildly, clipping Omega in the shoulder!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] OH NO! SHOTS FIRED!

[ Renee Young ] OHH!!

As Omega inspects his shoulder, Barry runs in, hurricanranaing him to the floor as Carr snaps Ibushi’s full nelson and drops to his bottom, giving Barry plenty of room to run up and clatter Kota with a huge slingblade! Now ready to make the best of their opportunity, Carr stands and hooks Ibushi for a uranage suplex – then Barry leaps as Carr lifts Ibushi – it’s a Rock Bottom / Back Stabber combination! LETHAL!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] DISGUSTING BLOW! COVER THE MAN!

As Booker T. shouts illogically at any and everything, Carr lifts Ibushi on his shoulders, Doomsday-style and allows Barry to scale the ropes, diving backwards with a shirinui and completing the Book ‘Em Danno!! Carr covers as Barry dives to block Omega – ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNERS - Team Tremendous via Pin Fall in 6:02

After the amazing collision and cover, Carr is grinning ear to ear and immediately hugs his partner, whose smile matches Carr’s.

[ Booker T. ] HOLEE HELL, Y’AWW, WHADDA MOVE, PLAYA! WHACHOO CALL DAT AGAIN?!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] They call it ‘Book’Em Danno,’ but it may as well be called the guaranteed win – it’s as dangerous a tandem move as we’ve ever seen here!

Kenny Omega finds himself still on the floor and slides into the ring, checking on his Golden Lover Ibushi, who took a certified hell sequence in the final moments of the thrilling opening contest to the evening. Finally convinced that Kota is okay, Kenny turns his attention to Team Tremendous and bows his head, shaking each man’s hand. The Best Bout Machine assists Ibushi to his feet, and the Golden Star bows himself, clearly in pain. Omega eventually aids Kota through the pain and escorts his partner from the ring with the assistance of Barry and Carr.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Incredible show of respect from the Golden Lovers, here…and quite gracious winners are Team Tremendous! They’ve got to be on their way up the ranks here in the SGW World Tag Team Championship scene.

[ Booker T. ] TRUE’DAT! BELEE’DAT!

As the Lovers exit the arena, Team Tremendous take a moment to photo op for the cheering Chicago crowd in the ring, posing with their finger guns in various ways before scooting to the outside of the ring to high-five Michael Jordan, who is chuckling pleasantly as we fade away from the ringside area to the back.

We go backstage where we see AZM and Starlight Kid standing in front of the SGW interview set. Both young competitors are already in their wrestling gear, ready for action later in the night. The live crowd cheers loudly upon seeing them for the first time tonight... however, before they can address the fans, the always fragile peace in Solid Gold Wrestling is swiftly interrupted.

[ Shane Douglas ] WELL, WELL, FUCKIN' WELL! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE HAVE HERE!?

Starlight's eyes become wide and she covers her mouth. AZM folds her arms across her chest, looking highly non-plussed as "The Franchise" Shane Douglas walks into the shot, cackling and bow-legged with the SGW Lifetime World Heavyweight Championship strapped around his waist. He's sweating profusely as he looks from one to the other, a confused and disbelieving smile on his red face.

[ Shane Douglas ] IF IT ISN'T TAJIRI AND THE ULTIMO DRAGON! BACK FROM THE FUCKIN' DEAD!

Starlight swallows hard and just looks into the camera blankly. AZM shakes her head with her upper lip curled in disgust. You can almost literally see the hatred radiating off her tiny form. She begins speaking in Japanese but those flowery colored words appear on the screen to help us, the uneducated, along.

[ AZM ] < You are disgusting, old grandpa. You dare to interrupt us with your foul odor and swollen red face. It would be too easy to point out that you smell like pee-pee. The truth is, I only smell failure. But not the usual failure I smell on Starlight Kid. >

[ Starlight Kid ] < Aww! You are so sweet! >

AZM swats Starlight on the back of the head.

[ AZM ] < That was not a compliment, idiot! Sometimes I think you are just another old decrepit grandma hiding under that mask. I am so grateful you are not on my team tonight. No, I am simply saying that your failure pales in comparison to the failure that pours off this dying old man, like heat from a dog. >

Douglas narrows his eyes, glaring down at the big bubbly words at the bottom of the screen. He nods along and then shakes his head as sweat continues to roll off his nose and his big puffy red cheeks.

[ Shane Douglas ] WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? SOME KINDA' FUCKIN' INSULT!? ARE YOU TRYIN' TO HURT THE FRANCHISE'S FEELINGS, TAJIRI!? GOOD TRY BUT THE FUCKIN' JOKE... IS ON YOU! HA HA HA! BECAUSE THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE NEVER LEARNED TO FUCKIN' READ!

With an erratic wave of his hand, the Franchise swats the words off the screen. However, before he can continue the interview, Cathy Kelley walks into the shot, looking appalled. She looks from Starlight and AZM to Douglas and then back again, exasperated. Finally, her eyes settle on the SGW Hall of Famer.

[ Cathy Kelley ] This is my interview, Shane, what do you think you're doing?!

[ Shane Douglas ] WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE IS DOING, CATHY KELLEY!? I'M GETTIN' THE GOD DAMN SCOOP BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO GOD DAMN FAT AND LAZY TO DO YOUR JOB!

[ Cathy Kelley ] That's not true at all! Somebody blocked my door with a chair and if Gangrel wasn't wandering the hallway playing PokemonGO, no one would've heard me screaming and let me out! You're such a... you're such a--

[ Shane Douglas ] SAY IT! SAY WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN', YOU FUCKIN' NOBODY! I'LL FRANCHISE YOU WHERE YOU STAND!

[ Cathy Kelley ] You're a horrible person, Shane.

[ Shane Douglas ] BE STILL MY FUCKIN' HEART! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!?

[ Cathy Kelley ] Your soul is crap.

[ Shane Douglas ] NOT THE FIRST TIME I'VE HEARD THAT ONE! TRY AGAIN, FUCK FACE!

[ Cathy Kelley ] You spent Christmas alone because no one loves you.

Douglas chokes and catches himself. He shuffles and looks down at the floor.

[ Shane Douglas ] ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT... THAT ONE KINDA' FUCKIN' HURT!

Cathy looks over at Starlight and AZM. Starlight wipes away a tear and wraps her arms around the Franchise's waist, giving him a big hug. The Franchise looks down at her, uncomfortable.

[ Starlight Kid ] < SO SAD! MERRY CHRISTMAS, FRENCH FRIES-SAN! >

Finally, she releases the hug, looking a little grossed out.

[ Starlight Kid ] < He is very wet! >

[ AZM ] < He is like a street bum. Poor, sad, and soaking with pee-pee. >

[ Starlight Kid ] < OH NO! PEE-PEE!? >

[ AZM ] < Now you will smell like the bum I have always known you are. >

Cathy shakes her head and looks up over at Douglas.

[ Cathy Kelley ] And another thing, Shane, did I hear you cursing at these two earlier?

[ Shane Douglas ] YOU SHOULD FUCKIN' KNOW BETTER THAN ANYBODY, CATHY KELLEY! THIS IS JUST HOW THE FUCKIN' FRANCHISE TALKS!

[ Cathy Kelley ] They're kids, Shane. You can't curse at kids.

[ Shane Douglas ] WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE FUCKIN' KIDS!?

[ Cathy Kelley ] I mean they're literally kids. Children.

Douglas wipes his face and suddenly looks horrified.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Under eighteen... kids, Shane. You have to watch your mouth.

Douglas slowly begins backing away from the set, looking around in every direction frantically.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Where do you think you're going!?

[ Shane Douglas ] A HUNDRED YARDS IN LITERALLY ANY FUCKIN' DIRECTION BUT HERE!

Douglas turns and breaks into a dead sprint, leaving Cathy alone with Starlight and AZM. The fans are cheering loudly. AZM and Starlight both look confused. Cathy shakes her head in disbelief. However, she's not allowed to pick up the pieces on the interview because there's another interruption in a series of them tonight as Bea Priestley and Jamie Hayter walk into the shot, also in their gear and entrance jackets, looking smug as ever. AZM watches them intently, mean mugging as only she can. Starlight smiles and waves, happy to see them... but Jamie Hayter slaps Starlight Kid across the face for no reason, almost knocking her down!

[ Jamie Hayter ] What's all this, then? Ya' think this is a game, Starlight Cunt?

Cathy Kelley looks on in surprise as Starlight rubs the side of her face with tears in her eyes. AZM points at her and begins laughing loudly... but her laughter is cut short when Bea Priestley grabs a handful of her hair and whips her around violently, almost slinging her off her feet. AZM grabs Bea's wrists and tries to steady herself but Bea keeps her off-kilter.

[ Bea Priestley ] Somethin' funny? I don't see nothin' funny, bitch.

Cathy tries to step between them.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Hey! Hey, this is really uncalled for!

Hayter pushes Cathy back a step, then gets right in her face.

[ Jamie Hayter ] Have ya' lost the plot, mate? Do I need t' remind ya' who ya' talkin' to?

Cathy takes a step back, defeated. Hayter smiles, flashing those British teeth, and smirks.

[ Jamie Hayter ] That's what I fuckin' thought.

Priestley keeps AZM at arm's length with a handful of hair. AZM is seething mad.

[ Bea Priestley ] The fun 'n games are ova', love. T'night, you're on our bloody team and you're lucky... very, very lucky that we chose you... but just know, kiddo, that your memba'ship is very much conditional and that condition is... if you fuck this up... I will cave ya' bloody head in.

Without another word, Priestley drags AZM off-camera and Jamie Hayter follows, walking confidently behind them. Starlight Kid lags behind, still touching the side of her face that Hayter lit up. She looks over at Cathy and then bows her head sadly before following them off camera as well. Cathy takes a deep breath, looking bothered as we cut to the ring.

A slow beat plays in the background as Jimmy Jacobs is seen seated on top of a park bench. It’s freezing cold outside, which has forced him to wear an oversized coat and gloves with the fingers cut out of them. He takes a drag from a cigarette and lets it slowly burn in between his fingers for a few seconds before exhaling the smoke from his lungs. Looking out into the open, with his breath visible in the cold, he speaks.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] Why do I do the things I do? Why do I, a man that looks the way I look sacrifice my well-being for a woman like Lacey?

He answers his own question, even if it’s already rhetorical.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] Look at her. The object of my affection. The most beautiful thing to walk this planet. She deserves it all. All of the gold. All of the money. All of the fame. I intend to be the man who gives it all to Lacey.

Once he finishes, Jacobs takes another puff of his cigarette and closes his eyes, soaking in the nicotine.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] Bad habits are hard to break. Smoking, drugs, heh.. Women.. Lacey is my vice of choice. My habit that I cannot break. So SGW, this is where you come into play.

He pauses while shifting himself over the top of the bench, facing the camera a little more directly than before.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] You see, I’m going to make my debut at Card Subject to Change. I’ll be there for your little mystery show and I don’t care who’s thrown my way in what kind of match the Championship Committee has in mind. It doesn’t matter. But be warned, though.. This is the beginning of the end for all of you.

Jacobs thumps his cigarette to the grass and doesn’t even bother to stomp it out.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] Because what Lacey wants, Lacey gets. I will DIE in that ring to give her the world! Is anyone else in SGW prepared to make that kind of sacrifice? I don’t think so! I don’t do this for myself! I hate who I am every hour of every day that I’m by myself.. But when I see Lacey - that smile, that laugh, the way she yells at me when I do something wrong.. Man.. That makes me more alive than I’ve ever been. I’m gonna’ do all of this for her.

Another pause.

[ Jimmy Jacobs ] 2019 is coming to a close in just a matter of days and I saw the mention of Year-End Awards coming for SGW. Let me end the speculation right now.. There are no other candidates. Together, Lacey and I... We’re the match of the year.

The scene fades.

Back at ringside “It’s Raining Men” blasts through the speakers of the PA system as a group of wrestlers begin the walk of shame to the ring. Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Sami Zayn, Aleister Black, Jordan Devlin, Ernest Miller, Rob Conway, Darby Allin, Tommaso Ciampa, Nick Aldis, Seth Rollins, Roderick Strong, Mance Warner, Cameron Grimes, Gangrel, Steve Corino, Lance Storm, and Johnny “the Bull” Stamboli enter from all corners and fill the ring.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Here it is, fellas, the Chris Kanyon Memorial Battle Royal!

[ Renee Young ] This is gonna be fun!

[ Booker T. ] AWW YEAH! IS GONNA BE FUN FASHO, DAWG! AND DAT'S WHAT CHRIS KANYON WOULD WANT! MY MAIN MAIN WAS ALL ABOUT DAT FUN, AIN' NO DOUBT ABOUT DAT!

[ Renee Young ] Chris Kanyon was such a big part of Solid Gold Wrestling. It's a shame he can't be here now to see what it's turned into thanks to his contributions!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Lookin’ at the ring here, this twenty-man battle royal is missin’ two competitors. I don’t fancy myself a mathematician but I only count eighteen!

"Perfect Strangers" by Deep Purple hits and out comes “The Franchise” Shane Douglas in his SGW polo and black slacks.

[ Shane Douglas ] WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE HERE! A BATTLE ROYAL TO HONOR CHRIS KANYON AND HE DIDN’T EVEN FUCKIN’ WORK HERE!

[ Renee Young ] He did. He really did. Shane Douglas and Chris Kanyon even had matches against one another!

[ Shane Douglas ] THIS BATTLE ROYAL IS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT A REAL MAN INSIDE OF IT! JUST LIKE CHRIS KANYON WAS NOT COMPLETE IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BUT YET SIMILAR SITUATION IN LIFE! THE FRANCHISE SEES NOTHING WRONG WITH IT BECAUSE IT’S THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2019, AND ALL BETS ARE OFF, JACK! JUST LIKE ALL THE FUCKIN’ BETS ARE OFF IN THIS BATTLE ROYAL, ‘CAUSE THE FRANCHISE IS ABOUT TO WIN THE GODDAMN THING! AND WHEN HE DOES, HE’S POURIN’ ONE OUT FOR HIS BEST FRIEND, CHRIS KANYON! HAHAHAHAHA!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Did.. Did Shane Douglas call Chris Kanyon his best friend moments after denying his existence in eva’ workin’ here?

[ Booker T. ] SHANE DOUGLAS IS A CLOWN FO' REAL, DAWG!

Shane Douglas struts into the ring and joins in the fray. The lights in the arena go out.

A strum of a guitar is heard which causes the fans to instantly start booing.

Elias.

[ Elias ] Chicago, Illinois! Hello. I am Elias.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Well, I guess we know who numba’ twenty is in this battle royal?!

Elias slowly walks to the ring, strumming his guitar.

[ Elias ] Christopher Kanyon, you were a star

Drove from town to town alone in your car

Because you didn’t have any friends here.

Who better than Kanyon is what you’d always ask.

For you, winning matches was a hell of a tall task!

They told me to sign a song to honor you, man..

I told them there was no way anyone can.

Elias is now pacing around the ringside area as he takes his guitar off his shoulder and continues speaking into the mic around his ear.

[ Elias ] Because let’s face it ladies and gentlemen, Chris Kanyon let the pressures of life get to him and tarnish his legacy. Ol’ Elias was headed down that same path after Fight to the Finish when I lost to Christopher Daniels in forty seconds.. But I fought through. I came out on the other side because the sun rose the next day! Christopher Daniels got lucky for once in his life and he’s still not on my level. Just like the eighteen men in this ring. For two months, Elias has had some of the biggest moments on the show, Chicago.. Because I DESERVE them! Unlike your Cubs, I’m more than a one hit wonder! Unlike your Chicago Bulls lately, good things will happen inside this arena when I’m involved!

The boos continue to reign down on Elias.

“Enter Sandman” hits.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Could it be?!

[ Renee Young ] Twenty-one men in a twenty-man battle royal is one extra way to honor the life and legacy of Chris Kanyon!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That’s quite a reach, Renee, but we’ll just neva’ know if it was that or overbookin’ from the Championship Committee!

[ Renee Young ] This one is for you, Chris! You ARE in Heaven!

As the music continues blasting through the arena, the scowl on Elias’ face grows.

[ Elias ] I wasn’t finished. What is this?!

There’s movement and a scene unfolding in the crowd as the music continues playing. The camera zooms in for a close shot to reveal THE SANDMAN! The Sandman has a cigarette in his mouth, a kendo stick in one hand, a beer in the other, and two more in his back pockets!

[ Booker T. ] THE SANDMAN LOOKIN' LIKE DAWG SHIT!

[ Renee Young ] Former SGW Tag Team Champion The Sandman is the twentieth entry in the battle royal!

The Sandman forces his way through the capacity crowd in attendance, stopping at one point to stomp out his cigarette. He then pours a beer into his mouth and smashes the can against his forehead, causing blood to trickle down! Sandman then spews the beer out of his mouth, high into the air, sending it flying all over the people in his general area. All of this continues for what seems like an eternity, as the song stops and starts back over again. Sandman stops at the front row and dumps a beer all over the cleavage of a female fan at ringside who slaps him in return, causing security to step in!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] The Sandman seems ta’ think this is still a time when treatin’ females like possessions was okay. He found out the hard way!

[ Booker T. ] I LIKE IT WHEN DOSE CHICKENHEADS PLAY HARD TA' GET!

Sandman hops the rail and stands right in front of Elias. With no other plan of attack available, Elias swings his guitar as hard as he can and drops The Sandman in a heap right in front of the ring. Debris from the guitar explode all over the place upon impact with Sandman’s skull.

[ Renee Young ] OH!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] He’s dead! Jeezus Christ almighty!

Elias grabs Sandman’s limp body and rolls it into the ring. As Elias enters, the bell rings and the match is FINALLY underway.

Referee - Aubrey Edwards | Time Limit - 30:00

Wasting no time, Shane Douglas grabs The Sandman up and throws his lifeless body over the top, sending him crashing to the outside!

ELIMINATED: The Sandman

Shane Douglas throws his arms in the air and begins screaming “I’M THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE!” His celebration is short lived as Elias dumps him over the top, causing him to land right on top of The Sandman!

ELIMINATED: Shane Douglas

With two men already eliminated, the chaos ensues inside the ring, with bodies everywhere and very little room for action. We begin to see competitors pairing off into groups of 2-3 for momentary alliances early on. Nick Aldis gets one on the board as he back body drops Justin Credible over the top rope!

ELIMINATED: Justin Credible

As soon as Aldis turns around, he catches a spinning roundhouse kick from Ernest Miller that sends him to the ground. “The Cat” throws three fingers in the air and proclaims “AH’M THE GREATEST!”

[ Nigel McGuinness ] How great is it seeing Ernest “The Cat” Miller back inside a ring?!

Matt and Nick Jackson double super kick The Cat, which allows Seth Rollins to eliminate Miller!

ELIMINATED: Ernest “The Cat” Miller

Seth Rollins then eats super kicks from The Young Bucks! Gangrel approaches and he too eats double super kicks!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] A SUPER KICK PARTY HAS BROKEN OUT!

On the other side of the ring, we see Jordan Devlin and Johnny the Bull battling it out, with Devlin striking and moving, not giving Stamboli time to respond.

[ Renee Young ] OH!

Johnny the Bull finally catches Devlin by the throat and pins him in the corner, choking the life out of him, but here comes Sami Zayn and Roderick Strong to try dumping them both, Devlin wiggles free and now the three men work together and dump the Bull!

ELIMINATED: Johnny “the Bull” Stamboli

[ Booker T. ] JOHNNY THE BULL? MO' LIKE JOHNNY BE GONE! HUH!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Anotha’ one bites the dust!

[ Booker T. ] JOHNNY THE DAMN BULL! CHU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME, HA HA!

Mance Warner and Cameron Grimes are working together on Darby Allin, who continues fighting them off. As we survey the scene, we see the Young Bucks drop Gangrel with more super kicks and go up top, a risky strategy in a battle royal.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK!

Matt Jackson picks Gangrel up and slings him over the top rope!

ELIMINATED: Gangrel

Rob Conway charges at the Bucks and eats a super kick from Nick and a running Helluva Kick from Sami Zayn! Conway staggers back into a Roderick Strong backbreaker! Tommaso Ciampa picks him up and dumps The Conman after a series of punishing moves!

ELIMINATED: “The Conman” Rob Conway

Jordan Devlin body slams Cameron Grimes and goes up top.

[ Renee Young ] OH!

Jordan Devlin dives for the double stomp but ALEISTER BLACK COMES FROM NOWHERE WITH A PERFECTLY TIMED BLACK MASS!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] BLACK MASS! JORDAN DEVLIN IS OUT COLD!

Aleister wastes no time by picking Devlin up and throwing him to the outside.

ELIMINATED: Jordan Devlin

Steve Corino and Lance Storm battle it out against one another, the two creators of this very match. Everyone kind of stands back and lets the two SGW legends trade blows back and forth with the fans really getting into it. Corino swings and Storm ducks and uses Corino’s momentum to lean him against the top rope for an elimination attempt. As Corino fights against it, Nick Aldis walks over and helps Storm eliminate Corino! AND THEN DUMPS LANCE STORM! Double eliminations for the NWA World’s Champion!

ELIMINATED: Steve Corino and Lance Storm

Boos reign down on Aldis as he poses inside the ring, proud of himself. Cameron Grimes and Mance Warner try dumping Aldis but he lands on the apron and rolls back inside the ring. BLACK MASS ON MANCE WARNER! Running knee strike from Rollins on to Grimes, which allows Aleister Black to eliminate Grimes!

ELIMINATED: Cameron Grimes

We now see teams forming with Aldis and Elias working on Tommaso Ciampa, tossing him to the outside with ease. The two men shake hands and eat double super kicks from the Young Bucks for their troubles! Aldis rolls to the outside to save himself.

ELIMINATED: Tommaso Ciampa

Roderick Strong shoves Darby Allin in the corner and lights him up with chops that echo throughout the arena and then snatches him up for a Lung Blower Backbreaker! Strong springs to his feet and DOUBLE SUPER KICK! Strong staggers back against the ropes and Mance Warner finishes him off with a clothesline!

ELIMINATED: Roderick Strong

We see the Young Bucks turn to Elias and work on eliminating him as Sami Zayn and Aleister Black fight in the corner. Seeing his spot, Nick Aldis slides back into the ring and dumps Matt Jackson!

ELIMINATED: Matt Jackson

Staying in attack-mode, Aldis grabs Darby and throws him over the top as well! Nick Aldis is cleaning house one-by-one!

ELIMINATED: Darby Allin

Aldis picks Elias up to his feet and Nick Jackson springs off the top rope but Aldis pulls Elias in front of him, causing Elias to take the brunt of the impact! On the other side of the ring, Seth Rollins gets caught off guard by a Helluva Kick! Quickly following up, Zayn picks Rollins up and places him on the turnbuckle..

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This spells disasta’ for Seth Rollins!

BRAINBUSTA~!!!!! Sami Zayn destroys Rollins’ neck on the top turnbuckle with the Brainbuster, causing him to just fall over the top to the floor like a sack of potatoes!

ELIMINATED: Seth Rollins

Mance Warner charges at Sami and he back body drops him over the top rope! Before he can celebrate, he’s immediately downed by Nick Aldis and Elias!

ELIMINATED: Mance Warner

[ Renee Young ] OH!

Nick Jackson and Aleister Black are exchanging kicks, both moving and ducking to avoid contact. It’s almost like it’s some scene out of a karate movie. The fans are chanting both of their names in a duel chant. Having seen enough, the team of Aldis and Elias hit double clotheslines, sending Aleister Black and Nick Jackson over the top.. But they both skin the cat and come back inside! SUPER KICK! BLACK MASS! Aldis and Elias are OUT! And so is Aleister Black as Sami Zayn hits the Helluva Kick, sending Black to the outside!

ELIMINATED: Aleister Black

This leaves Elias, Nick Aldis, Sami Zayn, and Nick Jackson! Sami Zayn eats a DDT from Elias as Aldis levels Jackson. Elias goes to the outside and begins digging underneath the ring. After a few minutes of searching, he pulls out another guitar! He comes back in and Nick Jackson realizes he’s in trouble.

[ Booker T. ] ELIAS IS ABOUT TO PLAY A TUNE UPSIDE HIS BALD ASS HEAD!

[ Renee Young ] OH!

Elias and Aldis back Nick Jackson into a corner with Nick looking back and forth at each man, waiting to see who will strike first. Elias rears back with the guitar and HITS NICK ALDIS! Nick Jackson hits a running knee on Elias and he spins right into a HELLUVA KICK as Zayn gets back to his feet! Zayn then tosses Nick Jackson over the ropes. Nick tries skinning the cat, but Zayn kicks him in the face, dropping him to the floor!

ELIMINATED: Nick Jackson

Zayn looks to Nick Jackson and you can read his lips mouth, “I’m sorry.”

With Elias down and Aldis beginning to come to, Zayn strikes while the iron is hot. He picks Aldis up and drapes him over the ropes, struggling to get him the rest of the way over the ropes. After a minute of struggling, here’s Elias! Elias dumps Aldis to the mat!

ELIMINATED: Nick Aldis

Aldis slaps the ring apron and jumps back up and grabs Elias by the back of the hair! Elias struggles to break free, giving time for Sami Zayn to dump Elias, who lands right on top of Nick Aldis! Sami Zayn has done it! What a debut!

                                        WINNER - Sami Zayn in 12:27

After the match, Gregory Helms slides into the ring and calls for a microphone. Sami Zayn is trying his best to catch his breath as the fans begin chanting his name throughout the arena.

[ Gregory Helms ] What a debut! Sami Zayn is the real deal and he’s set SGW on fire! Whatsupwitdat, huh?!

The fans love Sami Zayn but share an equal amount of disdain for Helms.

[ Gregory Helms ] What a night! The highlight of the show was right here, right now, people! We were here to honor the legacy of a fallen brother of this company, Chris Kanyon. And for years inside this ring, Kanyon always asked who was better than Kanyon, right? All of these years later, we finally have our answer!

He pauses.

[ Gregory Helms ] Nobody. Nobody better than Kanyon!

Helms points to the sky, really milking this sentimental moment in time. He drowns out the chants of “CHRIS! CHRIS!” with..

[ Gregory Helms ] EXCEPT FOR SAMI ZAYN! SAMI BETTA’ THAN KANYON! BELIEVE THAT!

Helms spikes the microphone against the mat like he just scored a touchdown and snatches Sami’s arm and yanks it high into the air. The fans give a mixed response as Sami shakes his head in horror of what his advisor has just done, ruining this special moment in his SGW debut!

Backstage, we see Cathy Kelley standing by on the SGW interview set with a tall task on her hands. She is standing by with a variety of characters with the egos so large there’s no way they all can fit in the room.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Please welcome my guests at this time, three of the participants in the Holiday Hell Survival Match - Triple H, CM Punk, and Kazuchika Okada!

The three men and Paul Heyman surround Cathy. You can tell by looking at them that this isn’t going to go great.

[ Cathy Kelley ] First thing, you guys have a four-on-four match tonight, but.. Where’s The Rock?

[ Triple H ] Anywhere but here. Where he belongs.

[ CM Punk ] Yeah, don’t speak him into existence. For the love of God.

Okada just lurks with his group, most likely having no idea what’s going on right now.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Well guys, you’re set to go up against Christopher Daniels, Bryan Danielson, Luke Harper, and Chris Dickinson. You four have been in SGW for a bit but not as a team, how do you guys think you’re going to fair?

[ Triple H ] It’s simple, Cathy. Look at this team. Four of the greatest athletes in the history of this business. Look at our pedigrees. Look at where we’ve come from and what we’ve done. We are larger than life. What we’re going to do to those four is going to be damn near embarrassing.

He pauses.

[ Triple H ] And when it’s over, I’m going for gold. This is the first and LAST time that I’m sharing a ring with those who are not worthy.

Triple H casually looks over to his teammates. CM Punk notices this.

[ CM Punk ] Wait a second. Are you referring to us?

[ Triple H ] So what if I am?

[ CM Punk ] Then I think you’d better start choosing your words more wisely, Hunter. Because if I’m not mistaken, I’ve actually won a match in SGW. Unlike any of the other guys on this team. You haven’t. Okada hasn’t. The Rock hasn’t.

Right on time, The Rock storms into the scene, dripping in water. He marches right up to his partners as CM Punk visibly rolls his eyes.

[ The Rock ] WHERE’S JEFF JARRETT?!

[ Paul Heyman ] Dwayne, might I have a word?

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK SAYS JEFF JARRETT NEEDS TO SHOW HIS MONKEY ASS RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, AND TELL THE PEOPLE WHY THE MOST ELECTRIFYING MAN IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT IS NOT IN THE MAIN EVENT!

The Rock turns to the camera.

[ The Rock ] ADAM COLE! YOU CAN’T HIDE FROM THE ROCK FOREVER!

[ CM Punk ] Adam Cole’s in the main event, dumbass.

The Rock snaps his head back towards Punk.

[ CM Punk ] Why did I say anything?

[ The Rock ] C.. M.. PUNK! THE ROCK’S GOTTA KNOW.. THE.. ROCK.. HAS.. GOTTA.. KNOW!

The Rock cocks his eyebrow and stares him down.

[ The Rock ] WHO IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU?!

[ CM Punk ] But you.. You literally just said my n-

[ The Rock ] IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

[ Triple H ] Okay, that’s enough. We have a match to win and you’d better pull your weight.

The Rock points to Okada.

[ The Rock ] YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE ROCK, TOUCAN SAM?! WHO’S THIS GUY?

[ Paul Heyman ] Dwayne, this is Kazuchika Okada, one of the finest Japanese wrestlers of all time. Some have even considered him the Japanese version of yourself.

The Rock surveys Okada up and down with his eyebrow raised.

[ The Rock ] HEY, OKADA! OHHH-KAAA-DAAAA! TELL THE ROCK SOMETHING!

He pauses.

[ The Rock ] WHERE’S JEFF JARRETT?!

[ Kazuchika Okada ] I do not know.

[ The Rock ] ‘CAUSE THE ROCK NEEDS TO TALK TO THE SIX-STRING SAMURAI RIGHT NOW TO FIND OUT WHO WANTS TO GO ONE ON ONE WITH THE GREAT ONE AT CHRISTMAS CHAOS TONIGHT, BABY!

Having enough, Triple H pushes his hands against The Rock’s chest.

[ Triple H ] Alright, that’s enough. We have a match tonight and EVERYONE here right now needs to carry their weight because I can’t do this all by myself.

He corrects himself.

[ Triple H ] Well, I could.. But I’d prefer not to.

[ CM Punk ] Oh, thank God I’m on the same team with the almighty Triple H! The King of Kings!

The Rock turns to Cathy Kelley.

[ The Rock ] WHOA MAMA! THE ROCK HOPES YA' LIKE LONG DONGS!

Everyone freezes and looks in confusion.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Excuse me?!

Somehow, “long dong” is a phrase that catches Okada’s attention because his eyes grow to the size of saucers as he begins waving his arms back and forth, mouthing the word “No!” over and over.

[ The Rock ] ‘CAUSE THE ROCK’S GONNA’ SHOW THE WORLD HIS LONG DONG AND EAT SOME POONTANG PIE TONIGHT, LIVE ON P-P-V HERE AT HANUKKAH HELL, MAMA! IT’S GONNA’ TAKE BIG BALLS TO STEP UP AND FACE THE ROCK, ADAM COLE! THE ROCK’S SHOOTIN’ POOL IN HIS PANTS AND YOU’RE PLAYING MARBLES! IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’!

[ Kazuchika Okada ] This man.. Not good.

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK’S DROWNIN’ IN THAT JUMANJI MONEY! CATHY KELLEY! CATHY.. KELL..EYYY! COME WITH THE ROCK TO THE JUNGLE, BABY! AND WHEN WE GET TO THE JUNGLE, WE’RE GONNA’ DO TWO THINGS!

The Rock holds up two fingers high into the air. Cathy is petrified at this point.

[ The Rock ] WE’RE GONNA’ FIND SHELTER AND WE’RE GONNA FIND OUT WHERE JEFF JARRETT IS SO THAT THE ROCK CAN GET HIS TITLE SHOT!

Triple H’s head sinks down and he sighs loudly. After counting to three, he composes himself.

[ Triple H ] Alright, that’s it.

Triple H lunges at The Rock but CM Punk and Paul Heyman step in, frantically trying to break things up to maintain their team. The Rock throws his arms up in the air, having no idea what the problem is. As the scuffling continues, the camera pans over to reveal Okada still standing in the same spot, having no participation in this ordeal. He shakes his head in disgust.

[ Kazuchika Okada ] Idiots.

The scene fades as now some road agents have appeared to try to break things up. The Rock has certainly made an impact before he’s even had an official match here in SGW!

We return to the ringside area where the fans are still roaring, having just witnessed a collection of some of the greatest talent in the history of the business interacting with one another. The camera quickly pans around the arena, surveying the cheering masses before it finally settles on the entranceway.

[ Booker T. ] YO, I'MA TELL YA'LL SOMETHIN' RIGHT NOW, DAWG! I'MA TELL YA'LL WHAT! DAT MAN DA ROCK, HE GONNA BE THE MAN T' BEAT T'NIGHT, DAWG! HE GONNA BE THE ONE T' WATCH OUT FOR... SO LOOK OUT! DAT'S DA MAN GON' UNSEAT ADAM COLE, IF YA'LL IS ASKIN' DA' BOOKA' MAN!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] There's no doubt that the forma' two time SGW World Heavyweight Champion, The Rock, certainly does have the potential to defeat Adam Cole but it remains t' be seen if there will be an opportunity to unseat the man... Mista' Cole has t' get through Randy Orton t'night, first.

[ Booker T. ] ADAM COLE BEST BE HANGIN' ON T' THAT STRAP, SON, 'CAUSE DA' ROCK IS COMIN' 'N IF I KNOW MY BOY DWAYNE, HE AIN'T COMIN' T' PLAY, DAWG! NAW, HE AIN'T COMIN' T' PLAY, HE COMIN'... FA' THAT GOLD 'ROUND ADAM COLE'S WAIST!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] I literally just said that Adam Cole isn't the champion. He could very well be afta' t'night's main event but right now, at this very moment, Adam Cole is not the champion and I'm having a very hard time unda'standing where this miscommunication has taken place between you, The Rock, and the rest of the entire world.

[ Renee Young ] ...oh!

Suddenly, the lights dim and "The Nobodies" by Marilyn Manson hits, bringing about a chorus of boos. After the song plays out for a long moment, Rosemary makes her way out onto the stage, sneering and snarling into the camera. She stands on the stage, looking out at the fans as they rain heat down upon her. Rosemary tilts her head to the side and cuts her eyes in each direction, looking enraged... maybe even a little disturbed by this reaction!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Here we go! Our first women's action of the night and look at this characta' right 'ere! Courtney's not home right now, fellas! There's only bloody Rosemary and she's lookin' t' make an impact in her debut tonight in Chicago, Illinois!

[ Booker T. ] UH-UH! UH-UH, DAWG! DA BOOKA' MAN DON'T LIKE DIS AT ALL! ROSEMARY GIVES ME DA HEEBIE JEEBIES, DAWG! AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FA' THIS! WHAT'S DIS EVEN SUPPOSED T' BE, SON!?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] She's certainly got a unique way about 'er, Book!

Rosemary makes her way down to the ring, eyeing the fans maniacally before she crawls under the bottom rope and toward the center of the ring, resting there on her knees. She sits there, breathing heavily and baring her teeth before reaching up with both hands and grabbing two handfuls of hair. She screams loudly as her entrance music peaks... and then it abruptly cuts, leaving her sitting there in silence as the fans continue booing her. She remains there on her knees until "Force of Greatness" hits and the fans pop huge! Rosemary snaps her gaze in the direction of the entranceway before slowly returning to her feet, waiting on her opponent to show her face!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] And here we go! The indestructible force! The immoveable object! The Great One's very own cousin! Nia Jax!

[ Booker T. ] YO, I LIKE THIS NIA JAX, DAWG! SHE GOT DA PEDIGREE OF A CHAMPION, BEIN' RELATED T' HER COOL COUSIN DWAYNE! I THINK IF THEY'S ANYBODY CAN STAND UP TO SOMETHIN' LIKE DIS ROSEMARY, IT'S GOTTA BE NIA JAX, IF YOU CAN DIG THAT!

Nia Jax emerges from the back to a huge pop. Jax walks out into the center of the stage while glaring down at the ring, meeting Rosemary's gaze and pounding her fist into her open palm! Nia Jax appears to be all business as she begins making her way down to the ring with purpose in her step!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This isn't gonna be pretty! Ya' might even say this match is gonna be... bowling shoe ugly, as has been said! Both o' these women are making their debuts here t'night and not only are they gonna be looking t' make an impact, they're both known for their potential t' dig down deep 'n really pull out all the stops to secure a win! What I'm sayin' is, this could get violent!

[ Booker T. ] YO DAWG, CAN YOU SAY HOSS FIGHT!? 'CAUSE I THINK DAT'S WHAT DIS IS, SON! A HOSS FIGHT! TWO HOSS WOMEN, 'BOUTS TO THROW DOWN LIKE HOSSES DO AND I'M HERE FOR IT, DAWG! SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK, WE GON' SEE SOMEBODY GET DA' BEATDOWN PUT ON THEY BEHIND RIGHT NOW!

Nia Jax walks up the ring steps and then steps through the ropes, her eyes never leaving Rosemary for a second. Jax walks from one side of the ring to the other, rallying the fans behind her. They're going insane, excited to finally see her in action after all the hype! Rosemary stands in her corner, seething. Finally, as Nia Jax turns to rally the last section of fans, Rosemary charges and nails her from behind with a forearm! The fans turn on a dime and erupt in boos! Paul Turner quickly calls for the bell to start the match!

Referee - Paul Turner | Time Limit - 30:00

Nia Jax goes down to one knee as Rosemary begins blasting her with forearms to the back in an effort to get her all the way down! However, Nia Jax begins shaking her fists, refusing to go down any further! Rosemary hits her again and again but Nia Jax begins shaking her head and pumping her fists! Rosemary begins to get frustrated as Nia Jax refuses to go down, plugging her again with another solid forearm to the back. Nia grabs onto the middle rope and begins shaking it as she uses it to pull herself back up to her feet!

[ Renee Young ] OH!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It's like Nia Jax isn't even registering the bloody strikes!

[ Booker T. ] I'M TELLIN' YOU, DAWG! IT'S THAT ROYAL SAMOAN BLOOD, PASSED DOWN FROM DA' MIGHTY DWAYNE! DIS CHICKEN HEAD IS SUPERHUMAN, BELIEVE DAT!

Nia Jax finally turns around, her teeth clenched, trembling with intensity! Rosemary nails her with a haymaker to the jaw and Nia Jax completely no-sells it before drilling Rosemary with a big punch of her own! The shot staggers Rosemary and she comes back with a majorly telegraphed clothesline... Nia Jax ducks it and scoops Rosemary up... SAMOAN DROP! Nia Jax sits up and dusts her hands off before rolling back to her feet and staring down at Rosemary with a disappointed look on her face. The fans cheer as Nia Jax runs and hits the ropes... AND NAILS ROSEMARY WITH A BIG LEG DROP! Nia Jax just remains in position with her leg draped over Rosemary's upper body and Paul Turner counts! ONE! TWO! THREE!

WINNER - Nia Jax via Pin Fall in 1:14

The fans pop huge and Nia Jax returns to her feet with a confident smile on her face. Paul Turner meets her in the center of the ring and raises her hand in victory as the fans cheer. Rosemary rolls out of the ring and crawls toward the back, trembling and seething, before disappearing behind the curtain.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] That wasn't just a win, that was a bloody statement!

[ Booker T. ] I TOLD YOU, DAWG! I TOLD YOU!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Nia Jax hasn't been shy about telling everyone that she's only 'ere in SGW because of her cool cousin, The Rock, but I think she just made quite the case for her own merit! Whoever leaves tonight as the SGW Women's World Champion, whether it be Lacey Evans or Christina Von Eerie, should bloody well keep their eye on Nia Jax!

The camera focuses on the celebrating Nia Jax as we cut to the backstage area.

As Shock continues on, we find ourselves backstage with Cathy Kelley, Adam Cole, and Britt Baker. Adam Cole looks focused and in a completely different zone right now. He’s wearing a cut-off Under Armour shirt with shorts and his hair slicked back in a ponytail, not yet prepared for the main event tonight.

[ Cathy Kelley ] Adam Cole, later tonight at Holiday Hell you challenge for the SGW World Championship against Randy Orton. How -

Before she can even finish, Shane Douglas is seen dead sprinting into the scene with a microphone in his hand. As soon as he gets to Adam Cole, he doubles over, raising the microphone in the air but gasping for air.

[ Shane Douglas ] NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!

[ Cathy Kelley ] Shane! I was assigned this segment!

After a few seconds of resting, Douglas finally catches his breath. He stands back upright and screams at Cathy Kelley so ferociously that spit flies all over her face.

[ Shane Douglas ] WE ALL KNOW WHO HAS FUCKIN’ DIBS ON ADAM COLE BABY! IT AIN’T YOU!

He turns to Britt Baker as Cathy Kelley throws her arms in the air, practically giving up.

[ Shane Douglas ] AND, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, DENTIST BRITT, HAHAHAHA… IT AIN’T YOU EITHER, SWEETHEART!

He puts his arm around Cole, whose eyes tell the entire story.

[ Shane Douglas ] THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE OF SGDUBYA HAS ALL.. TIME.. GOD.. DAMN.. DIBS!

The Franchise starts kicking his right leg in Cathy’s direction like he’s trying to shoo her away.

[ Shane Douglas ] IF YOU DON’T FUCKIN’ MIND, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND LET THE REAL FUCKIN’ MEN DO THEIR JOBS! HAHAHAHA! I NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ADAM COLE BABY - CHAMP TO FUTURE CHAMP!

Douglas wipes the spit off of his mouth and is right in Cole’s face, screaming as always, his face turning more blood red by the second.

[ Shane Douglas ] ADAM COLE BABY, TONIGHT YOU BECOME SGDUBYA CHAMPION WHEN YOU TURN RANDY FUCKIN’ ORTON INTO A FILTHY, ROTTEN, DISGUSTIN’ STAIN ON THE MAT IN FRONT OF SANTA CLAUS AND EVERYONE WATCHIN’ AT HOME! TELL ME ADAM COLE! FUCKIN’ TELL THE FRANCHISE HOW YOU’RE FEELING RIGHT NOW! HAHAHAHA!!!

[ Adam Cole ] Uh.. well..

[ Shane Douglas ] HOLD NOTHING BACK! GIVE THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE THE SCOOP!

[ Adam Cole ] Well Franchise, I have to say, we could have a little more room in between us here..

Cole does his best to try to wiggle free but the grip Douglas has on him is insurmountable.

[ Adam Cole ] But you know, tonight is going to be a night of history. The first pay-per-view in the modern era of SGW and look at who’s in the main event.. Adam Cole.. BAY-BAY!

Cole tries to make the best of the situation.

[ Adam Cole ] Randy, you won that belt but you beat a wounded duck. You didn’t pin me. If you want to walk around with that title and have no doubt that you’re “THE” man in Solid Gold Wrestling, then you’re going to have to step into that ring tonight and you’re going to beat like me like a man. But I don’t think you can do it, Randy. I really don’t. You only win when things are lined up to your advantage. Tonight, I’m taking that SGW World tite and proving why Arn Anderson wasn’t wrong when he called me the future of SGW. It’s gonna’ be my honor to take that belt off you Randy. I can’t wait for the moment when I hold that title high over my head, because then, it’ll be the fulfillment of my destiny in SGW.

He smirks.

[ Adam Cole ] It’ll be righting the wrong of 12 Large. It’ll be known forever as the time that Adam Cole made Randy Orton SUCK.. THE FUTURE’S.. DICK!

He laughs and strokes his goatee. Shane Douglas looks into the camera and maniacally laughs himself.

[ Shane Douglas ] AND RANDY ORTON, WHEN YOU’RE DONE AND THE CHILDREN OF ADAM COLE REST COMFORTABLY ON YOUR CHIN, YOU CAN STAY ON YOUR KNEES AND LET THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE MAKE A DEPOSIT HIMSELF! HAHAHAHA!

[ Britt Baker ] Dear God.

She buries her head in her hands.

[ Adam Cole ] Randy, don’t get it mistaken. That title around your waist signifies that you are in fact the man in SGW.. For now. Enjoy the next couple of hours. Your day of reckoning is coming. Tonight belongs to Adam Cole.. BAY.. BAY!

Bobby Fish, Kyle O’Reilly, and Roderick Strong enter the picture with big smiles on their faces. Adam Cole breaks free from Douglas and walks over and greets his friends, causing Franchise to look jealous as hell.

[ Bobby Fish ] Adam, good to see ya’ buddy!

[ Roderick Strong ] Yeah man, tonight you’re gonna’ make history!

[ Kyle O’Reilly ] You need our help? We’ll even the odds against RKO Security to ensure that tonight becomes.. Undisputed.

Cole ponders the offer for a moment.

[ Shane Douglas ] GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! THE FUTURE OF SGDUBYA DOESN’T NEED YOU FOOLS! HE ONLY NEEDS HIMSELF, HIS DENTIST, AND THE FUCKIN’ FRANCHISE! AND ONE OF THOSE THREE IS DEBATABLE IF WE’RE BEING REALLY FUCKIN’ HONEST!

Douglas cocks his eyes at Britt Baker and very subtly points in her direction.

[ Britt Baker ] I really hate you. Like. For real.

Franchise rolls his eyes as Cole speaks up.

[ Adam Cole ] I got this..

Cole motions for Douglas to get out of the way,

[ Adam Cole ] Guys, it’s good to see you all again, but I want to do this one on my own tonight. I want tonight to be all about ME and that beautiful championship belt.. But hey, when I win the belt, meet me for the afterparty. Deal?

Cole grabs Britt by the hand and walks out of the scene, leaving the other original members of Undisputed Era to talk among themselves.

[ Kyle O’Reilly ] He didn’t seem too interested.

Strong offers a confident rebuttal.

[ Roderick Strong ] Yet.

Bobby Fish nods, agreeing with Strong.

[ Bobby Fish ] He’ll come around soon enough.

As the three men continue chatting, the scene fades and transitions back to the ringside area for our next match.

As the scene fades away from Strong, Fish, and O’Reilly’s determined faces, the arena is full-on electrified by an auditory expulsion from the speakers in the United Center.

This is not a clever play on words; Jim Johnson’s “Electrifying” blasts across the arena and the one and only Rock strolls through the curtain, storming ahead like the Brahma Bull he is, eyes focused on the corner of the ring as his trademark eyebrow raises into a distinct arch.

[ Booker T. ] AWWWW HEYULLL, ‘DIS MAN RII’HEAH, ‘DIS MAN ‘GON WHUUP SUM’BAHDEE’S ASS TA-NITE!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Astute as always, Book!

The Rock ascends the turnbuckles and throws his fist high into the air, raising his nose, twitching slightly, to smell the aura of the United Center, possibly confused about where in the world he is, but also highly likely to electrify the buzzing Chicago crowd, as well.

The buzz rolled right along as the sound of a single coin rattling off a stone floor led the way for a dynamic, orchestral score, exciting and energetic, driving the crowd to a further positive response as the Rainmaker himself emerges onto the stage with a solemn expression on his face.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This man, Kazuchika Okada, is one of the foremost in-ring competitors in all the world! This man, Kazuchika Okada, has all the tools in the world and is only looking for an opportunity to showcase his skills on the grandest stage imaginable!

[ Renee Young ] OHH! It’s raining money, just as he told us!

[ Booker T. ] WHOA NOW, WHADDAH ‘DOSE?!

The Rainmaker Dollars begin falling from the catwalk of the United Center as Okada walks with purpose to the ring, scaling the same turnbuckle the Rock did previously and spreading his arms wide, allowing the hard camera to zoom out and catch a stunning visual: Okada, arms spread and thousands of fans replicating his pose with the Rainmaker Dollars falling all over the arena.

[ Booker T. ] Now juss bein furreal, I’on’t know nuthin’ about dis Okada boi, but he show comes with high praise from tha’ man Nigel, so I’m HYPED, ju’digg?!

Darkness falls across the arena as Okada hops off the second rope and a power chord echoes out around the United Center. A complicated series of green lasers and strobing light bounce off a rapidly-growing pool of smoke from the stage as the Chicago crowd pops again – this is certainly a loaded quartet of talent, dear reader!

[ Booker T. ] Dis man right here, DA GAY’M, TRIBBLE AICHE, he ain’t gunna take no gaff from nunna’dese guys, no matta’ wut side they on!

Pausing to allow the lasers to bounce off his well-crafted musculature, Triple H begins his intense tread towards the ring with a sour expression on his face, eyebrows furrowed as he glances, annoyed, at The Rock.

[ Renee Young ] OH! That’s a serious expression if I’ve ever seen one!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Yes, indeed, Renee, it certainly seems as if Triple H has narrowed his gaze, NOT TO ANY OPPONENT, but to his partner – the Rock!

Hunter hops onto the apron and spews water intimidatingly, flexing his massive muscles and stepping into the ring to join his partners as the roof blows off the United Center. Triple H isn’t the cause of the pop, though – that dubious distinction is due to Living Colour’s “Cult of Personality” blaring across the speaker system.

From behind the curtain emerges hometown boy C.M. Punk, stepping with purpose to the top of the ramp and waving off the leftover smoke from Triple H’s entrance, smirking down the ramp before kneeling, checking his invisible, wrist-tape watch and declaring the time to be the HOUR OF CLOBBER!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It’s a cryin’ shame that C.M. Punk added to the plight of Tim Storm at 12 Large earlier this month, but now the Straightedge Renegade is pushing ahead – and he’s got an incredible group to team with.

[ Booker T. ] Buh’chu think he ain’t gunna turn’is back on dese guys neith’a?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It’s always a possibility, Booker, but with his current reputation, the chances are just as high – if not higher! – that they’ll turn on him first!

As Triple H, the Rock, and CM Punk loudly contemplate who will start the match, the triumphant trumpet blaring breaks the annoyed arguing and mixed murmurings of the United Center into a pure blanket of boos. Before long, the slow drumming picks up and elevates the tune to critical mass.

Another series of lasers flash across the stage as a burgundy-hooded man steps slowly through the curtain as the crowd begin to intersperse sparse cheering with their loud boos.

[ Booker T. ] Dis’ right heeh, y’aw! Dis’is da’ time when Big Poppa Pump start up his talkin’ about how much he hate Bryan Danielson!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Yes, Booker, that’s generally the case; and yet, he’s not here! I will be the first to admit that Bryan can be bull-headed, but he’s incredibly talented in the ring – maybe the most talented individual in all the world!

[ Renee Young ] But that attitude is horrible! He’s unbearable at times, Nigel!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Absolutely, Renee. “The Dragon” is a real son of a bitch…but he’s beyond skilled and is a formidable test for anyone on this roster!

We're leaving together
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To Earth, who can tell?

Danielson continues his steady march to the ring, showing no fear whatsoever for the crop of world-beaters opposing his side of the squared circle. He steps up onto the apron and slowly through the ropes as the United Center gear up for another sing-along.

I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground (leaving ground)

The “American Dragon” steps up to the top rope and throws his hood back, showing off his wild beard and long, pulled-back ponytail as he glares across the ring at the four men before him.

Will things ever be the same again?

With a mighty bellow, the Dragon stakes his claim to excellence as somewhere, deep in the arena, Scott Steiner is surely restrained from letting his rage consume the United Center.

[ Bryan Danielson ] I’M THE BEST! WRESTLER! IN! THE! WORRRRRLLLLLLLLLDDDDDD!

It's the Final Countdown!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] It’s certainly hard to argue with his claims, Renee – Bryan Danielson is perhaps the most accomplished of his quartet tonight, so it will be interesting to see how he interacts with the three men on his side.

[ Renee Young ] Yes, quite!

Before Renee can dive into her analysis, a familiar driving drum line begins playing over the speaker system and Chicago is interested, as peculiar positive murmuring overtakes the mixed reaction of Danielson’s entrance. Expectantly so, as a matter of fact – these drums belong to Chicago’s very own Disturbed!

The lighting display on the stage turns to a quickly fluctuant mix of black, red, and white as a creeping guitar line leads us to an all-too-familiar guttural roar, announcing the arrival of Danielson’s teammates:

Oh, wah-ah-ah-ah!

And Chicago is HYPE! From beyond the curtain storms Luke Harper, walking straight for the ring like a man possessed as Chris Dickinson follows him, slapping his chest and allowing David Draiman’s intense screaming to pump him up for the huge opportunity before him.

Oh, wah-ah-ah-ah!

Finally, out comes Christopher Daniels, the driven Fallen Angel, hellbent on gaining respect one way or another from the supposedly biased management of Solid Gold Wrestling. Stomping down the aisle and joining his associates in center ring, Daniels throws off his hood and begins speaking inaudibly to the hard camera.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] This gentleman, Christopher Daniels, is on a warpath recently. He feels as though he’s been disrespected by management and is being passed over for the opportunities other performers are receiving – and frankly, it isn’t beyond consideration that he’s correct.

[ Booker T. ] MAYN, BACK WHEN I WUZ HERE IN DA ESS-GEE-DUBBA-YOU, YOU JUST SHUT UP AND FOUGHT AGAINST SCOTT STEINER, GANGREL AND JOHNNY ‘DA BULL WHEN YOU GOT BOOKED, YO. DIS’ DISRESPECT GAME AIN’T PLAYIN’ WIH’ME!

[ Renee Young ] But, Booker, Mr. Daniels is simply stating his disapproval with the perceived disrespect from his employer! He’s protesting in a mostly peaceful way, as is his God-given right!

[ Booker T. ] SEE?! DIS RIGHT HERE’S WHAT I MEAN, DAWG! I AIN’T DIGGIN’ IT, SUCKA! JUSS FAWL IN LINE AN’LET THE SHAMP’EEUN’SHIPS COM’MITTY DO WHAT DEY DO, PLAYA!

Daniels gives fist pounds to both Harper and Dickinson, then offers one to Danielson, who glares at his outstretched fist and then up to his nodding, positive expression, and brushes past him to the apron. Shrugging his shoulders, the Fallen Angel instructs Dickinson to begin the match and the “Dirty Daddy” licks his lips enthusiastically as Harper claps him on the back a little too hard to encourage him.

On the other side of the ring, only Kazuchika Okada is giving CM Punk any dispute to starting the contest for his team, as neither the Rock nor Triple H want anything to do with the erratic Chicagoan. Okada eventually resigns to the apron, allowing the Punker to begin the match as referee Rick Knox signals for the bell.

Referee - Rick Knox | Time Limit - 30:00

Punk charges ahead to the still-chiming bell’s cry, eschewing a traditional collar-and-elbow lock-up for a quicker start to the contest – but Dickinson reacts with lightning quickness and leaps up, connecting with a jumping knee strike right to Punk’s chin! The Chicago crowd scream out in shock as Punk is clearly out on his feet!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] MY GOD, WHAT A SHOT! WHAT A KNEE STRIKE! C.M. Punk may be out on his feet!

Dickinson isn’t patient with the potentially knockout blow and clatters the Chicago Made Punk with a Bicycle Kick, right to the jaw AGAIN as the United Center sits in stunned silence!

[ Renee Young ] OHH!

[ Booker T. ] GAWD AWWMIGHTY WHADDUH SHOT!

Dickinson quickly scoops up Punk and PLOWS him with a sickening Pazuzu Bomb, leaping damn-near halfway across the ring before landing him violently for the 1-2-3!

C.M. Punk has been ELIMINATED

As Justin Roberts details the elimination, there’s a bit of a lull in the action as the Chicago crowd boos the Putrid Papa, who stands up and lifts his arms, grinning ear-to-ear with pride as Daniels hoots and hollers in approval on the apron.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Far be it for me to doubt Chris Dickinson’s skill, but surely this was a very unexpected result, especially so quickly into the contest!

[ Booker T. ] Man, dis’ Dickinson dude done whacked Punk int’a next Tuesday!

As Dickinson slaps the outstretched hand of Christopher Daniels, Triple H steps into the ring and begins squaring up with his opponent. The Game isn’t intimidated by the numbers disadvantage and cracks his neck, then begins working his wrists as Daniels hops back and forth, preparing himself for action, as well.

[ Booker T. ] Dis aughta be a big-time collision, mayne, SHUCKY DUCKY!

The atmosphere in the arena is intense as Daniels and Triple H circle one another for a moment before Hunter lifts his hands, stopping them both in their tracks…

…and throws a swift crotch chop!

[ Renee Young ] OH!

As he finishes instructing Daniels to ‘suck it,’ The Game lifts his middle finger to the Rock and Okada before rolling through the ropes and beginning to trek up the aisle to a chorus of boos from the audience.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Now what in the world is this?!

[ Booker T. ] LOOKS TA’ ME LIKE TRIBBLE HAYCH AIN’T STICKIN’ AROUND FUH NUNNA’DIS WORK FROM DA’ FALLEN ANGEL!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Pardon me, Booker, but I think this is simply Triple H seeing himself as better than the nonsense occurring in the ring right now – after all, he’s already nearly come to blows with 50% of his remaining partners tonight!

As referee Rick Knox reaches the count of ten, he reluctantly calls for the ring bell to officially eliminate Triple H from the contest.

Triple H has been ELIMINATED

A decided negativity has enveloped the United Center as a four-to-two disadvantage leaves Christopher Daniels grinning from ear-to-ear as he tags out to Luke Harper, who steps eagerly into the ring for action. On the other side of the ring, Kazuchika Okada begins to step through the ropes until he is stopped by his partner, who insists upon entering the match himself.

The building is shaking with energy – or dare I say, electricity – as the Rock steps through the ropes and into the ring to square up with Luke Harper.

[ Booker T. ] LISSEN’IT THIS! DESE FOW’KS’ READY TO BE ELECTRIFIED, JACK!

The Rock paces back and forth like a lion on his side of the ring, looking Luke Harper up and down, sizing up his large opposition before stopping and lifting the People’s Eyebrow high into the air, giving way to another pop from the Chicago crowd. The Most Electrifying Man in Sports and Entertainment throws his hand out in front of him, palm to the sky, and wags his fingers towards himself, begging Mr. Sadistic to…well…he’s going to say it anyway, so why not just let it happen?

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK SAYS ‘JUST BRING IT,’ YOU SCRAGGLY-FACED SON OF A BITCH! I’M GONNA WHIP YOUR TYPHOID-ASS BEFORE STOMPIN’ ADAM’S COLE RIGHT INTO THE DIRT – RIGHT HERE! – IN CHI! KA! GOOO!

Harper is fed up with these shenanigans and storms ahead, Big Boot ready to thrash the Rock from the face of the Earth, but Dwayne ducks! Harper stops suddenly and turns, but the Rock is on him like white on rice, planting right hand after right hand into Harper’s bearded jaw! The beard is doing nothing to stop the damage the Rock’s fists are causing his head!

[ The Rock ] UH! UH! UH!

After exclaiming with each shot to the mouth, The Rock steps back and lifts his right hand to the heavens, summoning all the strength from the millions and millions of his fans, not only in Chicago, but around the entire world – and SMASHES Harper with a final right, sending him crashing to the mat as the United Center roar out in approval. As Harper hits the ground, the Rock reaches into his trunks and pulls out a gold-wrapped condom and throws it like a shuriken at Harper’s face.

[ The Rock ] THE ROCK SAYS THIS ISN’T JUST A CONDOM FOR HIS MONSTER DONG, IT’S A REMINDER THAT THE ROCK WILL NEVER – AND THE ROCK MEANS NEVER! – BE OUTDONE BY ANY OF YOU CLOWNS! NOW, WHERE THE HELL IS SCOTT?!

Who?! What the hell is he talking about?!

[ Booker T. ] BIG POPPA PUMP’S IN DA’ BACK, ROCKY, DOIN’ BICEP CURLS AND PROLLY PLEASIN’ SUM FREAKS GETTIN’ READY FUH’DUH MAIN SHOW! – NOW FOCUS’OWN DA’ MATCH, PLAYA!

Harper rises to his feet and charges ahead, looking for a discus clothesline, but the Rock intercepts him with a kick to the midsection and hooks him for the Rock Bottom! BUT BEFORE THE ROCK CAN CONNECT WITH THE URANAGE, DICKINSON IS IN WITH A BICYCLE KICK RIGHT TO THE ROCK’S JAW!

Kazuchika Okada is incensed on the apron, demanding that referee Knox remove the Dirty Daddy from the ring – but Harper’s momentary breather has given him enough momentum to charge ahead with his own Truckstop Powerbomb! A tag to Dickinson – AND THE PAZUZU BOMB! Dickinson drags the Rock over to their corner and tags Daniels – who’s leaping to the tune of the crowd’s cheers:

BEST!
MOONSAULT!
EVER!!

Daniels quickly makes the cover after the series of big moves! One! Two! Three!

The Rock has been ELIMINATED

As referee Rick Knox begins rolling the Rock from the ring to the apron, Kazuchika Okada pauses to reflect upon the rather unenviable situation he’s found himself in – a four-on-one situation against the seemingly unified front of Daniels, Dickinson, and Harper, as well as the only man to pin his shoulders to the mat in SGW, Bryan Danielson.

Okada bravely steps into the ring and as the Fallen Angel begins to square up to the action, the “American Dragon” claps him on the shoulder and steps through the ropes, practically shoving Daniels out of the ring and turning to face Okada with a sinister grin on his beared mug.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Ladies and gentlemen, if you tuned into Momentum in November, you witnessed these two men have an incredibly balanced encounter which Danielson won by the skin of his very teeth – I know without questioning it that Kazuchika Okada is looking for revenge right here!

Danielson and Okada lock up and begin trading holds, establishing dominance in any way they can, but the other man is fresh, too, so the counters and reversals are flowing like wine for a few moments. Eventually, Danielson does lock the larger man in a side headlock, but Okada drives him into the ropes with his broad shoulder and shoots him off the far ropes, cleaning the Dragon’s clock with an enormous dropkick right to the teeth!

[ Renee Young ] OWWW, OH!

[ Booker T. ] NOW DAT’S A DROPKICK, PLAYA!

The Rainmaker rises and meets a charging Dickinson with a stiff lariat! Chicago is firmly on Okada’s side as he catches a falling Angel with a Manhattan Drop before wrecking his shoulders with a beautiful Air Raid Crash! Okada stands from driving Daniels into the mat and Harper greets him with a stiff overhand chop! BUT OKADA’S NOT FALLING! FIGHTING SPIRIT!! Okada throws a stiff chop of his own, lighting up Harper! The two men throw their shots back and forth until an enraged Harper throws a final chop, but Okada ducks and goes behind, leaving Harper to connect with a freshly risen Danielson, leathering his pasty chest!

With a waistlock, Okada lifts and SMASHES Harper with a German Suplex! The Rainmaker stands and pumps his fists before Dickinson slaps him across the jaws, but it only serves to enrage Okada! The Japanese Superstar plasters the Dirty Daddy with his own slap and wrenches him into a wrist-and-waistlock as he turns out of the intense strike to the jaw – Okada RIPCORDS – RAINMAAAAAAAAKER!! Dickinson flips backwards on impact from the huge lariat as Okada throws his arms to the side and the hard camera zooms all the way out!! – JUST IN TIME TO SEE Daniels charge in with a dropkick to the back of the head!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] OKADA’S ON FIRE – YOU’VE GOT TO END HIM NOW IF YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE HIM OUT!

Harper and Daniels immediately pounce on the downed Okada and plaster him over and over with boots to the sternum and head, staggering him and doing their best to smother his momentum. As Daniels continues pounding away at Okada’s jaw, Harper lifts Dickinson and props him up in the corner, trying to help him come to, though after a stiff Rainmaker, that’s quite the task. Okada reverses the momentum on Daniels and begins smacking him with stiff punches, but Harper is back on him with a boot to the jaw, stopping the Rainmaker right in his tracks.

[ Renee Young ] OHH!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] At some point, these gentlemen have to get Danielson to tag them in!!

Daniels and Harper lift Okada and position him for a piledriver from the Fallen Angel, who hooks Okada’s arms for the Angels Wings! Harper lifts one of Okada’s legs and the still-dazed Dickinson takes the other – and lifts! Okada is lifted completely and the three men begin spinning around, lifting him into a disgusting angle – and tossing – it’s a triple-team Angels Wings! Okada takes the brunt of the landing to his forehead grossly as Harper grins sinisterly and Dickinson falls to the mat, holding his still-spinning head!

Grinning ear-to-ear, Daniels walks over on his knees to the downed Okada and places a finger on his chest, ready to end this contest –

BUT DANIELSON SHOVES HIM OFF OF OKADA!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] WHAT IN THE HELL, DANIELSON?! What are you doing?!

The American Dragon doesn’t take long and latches Okada’s arms, flipping ahead and tying the Rainmaker up with the Cattle Mutilation! Referee Rick Knox begins asking Okada for any signal – and he taps out! The strain to the neck is just too great!!

SURVIVORS - Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels,
Chris Dickinson, and Luke Harper via Pin Fall in 15:02

As the bell rings across the arena, Danielson releases his hold and Okada rolls to his back, grabbing his sore neck in obvious disappointment. While the Rainmaker rolls to the apron for a breather, Danielson is already to his feet and glaring down the barrel of the hard camera intensely. A thin, creepy smile breaks across his face as a jubilant Christopher Daniels enters the ring and is visible behind the intense American Dragon, hand outstretched for a high five as the camera zooms out and shows the two men meeting eyes.

[ Renee Young ] OH!

[ Nigel McGuinness ] These two pioneers of professional wrestling…it certainly seems that Daniels wants the Dragon’s partnership…or at least his respect? But, well…it’s pretty certain Danielson wants none of it!

Danielson looks out at the Fallen Angel’s hand and back to his eyeline before firing a wad of phlegm directly into his contemporary’s palm, turning and rolling from the ring without a single word.

[ Renee Young ] OHHH!!

[ Booker T. ] DAT DAYUM DRAGON, BOY – HE A MAN WHO WORKS, AS DA’ DARK KNIGHT SAYS, UH-LONE! AIN’T NO PAHTNER TO BE FOUND HE’UH, DANIELS!

Daniels’ eyebrows raise as he looks, annoyed, to his palm and smears the spitwad across his left leg and glares up the ramp at the back of Danielson’s head. A cameraman picks up Danielson as he reaches the top of the ramp and snarls towards the collection of his ‘partners’ in the ring, who have surrounded the Fallen Angel for congratulatory handshakes. A still-woozy Dickinson claps the veteran on the back and roars triumphantly to the crowd while Harper grabs Daniels’ left palm, still slightly-spit-covered, and pulls him in for an aggressive bro-hug. Daniels grimaces slightly, but looks back up the aisle to Danielson, whose sneer is still strong, and nods, understanding.

As the American Dragon disappears through the curtain, Daniels begins badgering Justin Roberts for the microphone and receives the device after a moment or two.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Those of you who caught our last event, Fight to the Finish, know very well that the Fallen Angel has a major chip on his shoulder…and doesn’t mind describing it, down to the bloody individual ridges!

Daniels thumps the top of his microphone and looks at the hard camera, Harper and Dickinson flanking him to either side as a sinister grin grows across his face.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Do I have your attention now, Solid Gold Wrestling?

He throws his head back, laughing.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Do WE –

Daniels wags his thumb across the three of them.

[ Christopher Daniels ] – do we have your attention now?! I sure hope so, because let’s just take a quick look at the assortment of talent that WE! PUT! DOWN!

The Fallen Angel throws up a single finger on his right hand as Dickinson spits onto the floor. Maybe vomits? It’s hard to tell because there’s a lot going on at ringside.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Each one of the guys we defeated has been a World Heavyweight Champion at LEAST ten times apiece, right?! Each one of these guys has over 100,000 followers on Instagram – hell, Dwayne’s got like 15 million on his own – and I pinned his ass! ME! Christopher Daniels! And you know what?? I’m STILL shafted by this company! I’m still SO FAR AWAY from an Elevation Championship match, even though – guess what, Luke?

Harper doesn’t respond at all; he’s just staring straight ahead. Daniels doesn’t let it bother him and continues speaking.

[ Christopher Daniels ] I EARNED ONE THREE SHOWS AGO! ISN’T THAT SOMETHIN’?!

The commentators have been listening intently, though a voice calmly breaks that silence with an understated hurry in his cadence.

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Fans, we want to very quickly encourage you to purchase Holiday Hell from your pay-per-view providers as Christopher Daniels celebrates his big victory here tonight…

[ Christopher Daniels ] And another thing! You’d think there’d be a Cathy Kelley or a Shane Douglas or hell, even a…

Daniels glances around the arena and spots Renee Young at the announce desk and points over to her with a stupid smile on his face.

[ Christopher Daniels ] …a Renee Young! Someone, some nameless, faceless, schmo here to interview us for our big victory! I mean, it doesn’t matter WHO it is, so much as they’re a representative of this company’s interest in any of us! No matter who the drooling face, no matter what the doofy name, they’re there for US! Who cares about them?!

[ Renee Young ] …oh…

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Fans, what a big win for these three men and for American Dragon Bryan Danielson, but we really, REALLY need to be getting along…and I’m starting to think that Mr. Daniels doesn’t understand this all too well…

[ Christopher Daniels ] You know something, this group of guys, right here?

Daniels points at each of them before pointing at the hard cam.

[ Christopher Daniels ] We’re sick of the disrespect this company passes down on it’s supposed ‘underclass!’ We’re sick of this company pretending to be ‘Solid Gold’ from the top to the bottom, when really, the only gold is being hidden under the garbage on top! SOLID GARBAGE WRESTLING, amirite?!

Dickinson chokes out a small laugh and Harper nods intensely. Daniels carries on, despite the slew of ringside attendants beginning to change the apron skirts from the black and gold ‘Shock’-branded ones to the flame-and-steel-marked ‘Holiday Hell’ ones.

[ Christopher Daniels ] This disrespect of the guys who are carrying your company toward success is not going to be tolerated any further! I cannot! I WILL NOT! Stand idly by and allow this company to disrespect the people the people who make YOU!

Daniels jabs his finger at the hard camera.

[ Christopher Daniels ] YOU, Mister Fat Cat! YOU, Mrs. Bureaucrat! I won’t let YOU DISRESPECT US ANYMORE! And what’s more?

The ring crew have entered the ring and are changing the standard black turnbuckle pads to the ones marked with the Holiday Hell logo as Daniels rattles on, full steam ahead. Dickinson glances around out of the side of his eyes, concerned with what all is happening currently as Harper peers straight ahead with wide, manic eyes.

[ Christopher Daniels ] Not only will we not be disrespected anymore – but now? Now, we’ll DISRESPECT YOU!

A lightbulb.

A huge grin creeps across his face.

This million-dollar idea cannot be derailed, not by the people now clearly stepping in front of him on camera or adjusting the ring for the upcoming pay-per-view broadcast, not by the men he’s speaking for, not by logic and certainly not by good taste.

Daniels goes ahead and spells it out.

[ Christopher Daniels ] AND THAT – THAT RIGHT THERE – IS WHAT YOU CAN CALL THIS! DISRESPECT U! And I’ll be the Dean of Disrespect U! This right here is my professorial staff! We are taking EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU…TO SCHOOL!

A slight spattering of applause mixed with booing from deep in the United Center. Before long, a countdown clock appears on the GoldenTron!

1:00!
0:59!
0:58!

Chicago roars with excitement for the ticking clock, nearing us ever closer to Holiday Hell, but the ever-positive Daniels has a huge grin on his face and pushes through, non-plussed by the very visible production staff now attempting to usher Chris Dickinson by the shoulder through the ropes.

[ Christopher Daniels ] And this is the dawning of a new era in the storied history of Solid Gold Wrestling! This will forever be the day that Solid Gold changes for the better! This shall forever be remembered as the day that Christopher Daniels, the Fallen Angel, and his brothers in arms, that DISRESPECT U takes the wrestling world – no! No! The ENTIRE world by storm! And what better place to start than right here in – get your hands off me! What the hell are you doing?

A pair of stagehands have Daniels by the shoulders now, doing their best to usher him from the ring and the microphone, still live, but not pointed towards their mouths, picks up their conversation.

[ Production Associate 1 ] Sir, we have to go – we’ve been given very strict instructions!

[ Christopher Daniels ] WHAT?! GO WHERE?

Luke Harper punches the production assistant in the jaw and calmly steps over the ropes to join Dickinson on the floor with a bemused look on his face as Daniels continues fighting and the countdown clock reaches 0:38.

[ Production Associate 2 ] Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt your speech –

[ Christopher Daniels ] PROMO! IT’S A PROMO! IT’S A PROMO, DAMMIT!

[ Production Associate 2 ] – but we have got to get Holiday Hell on the road! Shock is going off the air and we HAVE to get you guys out of the ring already!

Daniels’ face is plastered with awe and disappointment which morphs into fury as the countdown clock reaches 0:20.

[ Christopher Daniels ] SERIOUSLY?! This is EXACTLY THE KIND OF DISRESPECT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT, MAN! I mean, seriously!

The microphone falls from his hand and clunks off the canvas before a stagehand quickly grabs it and changes the cuff to a Holiday Hell one and passes it back to Roberts. As Daniels whines to any and everyone who will listen, the newly formed Disrespect U proceeds up the ramp, its leader fury-filled and yelling.

[ Christopher Daniels ] THIS IS EGREGIOUS! THIS IS EGREGIOUS!

[ Booker T. ] CHRISTAPHAH DANIELS, MAN, HE’S PLAYIN’ A FEW CARDS SHORT’A THUH DECK, CHU’DIG?

[ Nigel McGuinness ] Indeed, Book, quite shrewd. Ladies and gentlemen – the time is nigh! You need to order Holiday Hell RIGHT NOW, lest you miss the greatest professional wrestling extravanganza this weekend! Do not settle for less from other offerings – THE BEST IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING IS A MERE PHONE CALL AWAY! Hell…is upon us! Order now!!

The screen fades to black with a final shot of Daniels screaming and the countdown clock above his head reaches zero.

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